January 25, 2025 • 43 mins
What happens when a dedicated SWAT member decides to shift gears and focus on personal wellness and family? Join me for a interesting conversation with David Smith, a seasoned police officer from Virginia, who takes us through his personal transformation from high-stakes law enforcement to prioritizing self-development and holistic wellness. With 13 years of service under his belt, including seven years on the SWAT team, David shares how programs like the Modern Day Knight Project and Apogee inspired a profound change in his career path and life philosophy.
David's story resonates with many in law enforcement facing burnout and the search for purpose behind and beyond the badge. His journey emphasizes the need for self-love and mentorship, as he discusses stepping away from the SWAT team in 2021 to devote more time to his family. Drawing inspiration from high achievers, David was on a quest for fulfillment and defeating limiting beliefs by embracing personal growth through rigorous development programs. Now serving as a lieutenant, he channels these lessons into his leadership style, striving to inspire and nurture growth among his officers and peers.
In this episode, we discuss the stigmas surrounding wellness in law enforcement and explore proactive strategies for first responders' health. David opens up about his efforts to integrate wellness initiatives within his department. He addresses the challenges of overcoming barriers and building trust, advocating for a culture of supportive engagement and communication. Discover the power of leading by example and cultivating a work environment that prioritizes genuine development and fulfillment for all officers.
Programs Mentioned:
- Apogee Wellness
- Modern Day Knight Project
Contact:
Instagram: @Strong_Institute_
David Smith (LinkedIn)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tyra Valeriano (00:01):
Welcome to Chapter Blue, the podcast where
we discuss the world of lawenforcement through an honest
conversation on tough orcontroversial topics, real
stories, perspectives andexperience from officers all
around the world.
Whether you're here forinsights on mental health,
self-care, work-life balance,getting into law enforcement,
getting out of law enforcement,or just trying to learn about
(00:21):
personal and professionalchallenges officers face every
day, you've come to the rightplace.
I'm your host, tyra Valeriano,and whether I'm going solo or
speaking with a guest, eachepisode will discuss different
aspects of life behind the badge.
Let's turn the page and stepinto Chapter Blue.
Welcome back to another episodeof Chapter Blue.
(00:42):
I'm pretty intrigued withtoday's guest.
His name is David Smith and iscurrently an active police
officer out of Virginia.
He has some interestingconcepts that helped him flip
the switch to live his life thebest way possible while working
as an officer in today's climate.
His agency.
(01:04):
He will be sharing his storyand perspective in hopes to help
other officers in the field.
So thank you for joining metoday, david, all the way from
Virginia.
Tell us a little more aboutyour background in law
enforcement.
David Smith (01:12):
Thanks for having me.
I really, really appreciateyour time and having me on the
podcast.
It's definitely a privilege.
I've been, like you said, 13years.
I did seven years on the SWATteam and right now I'm part of
the peer support team on mydepartment.
So I'm looking to bring somechanges there and my mission
(01:33):
really is.
Wellness is the one word answerbut really I've been working on
a lot of things on myself thepast three years to the best way
I can put it aren't my words,but living in congruency with my
highest self, so that I cangive my best self to those
(01:54):
around me, to those in mydepartment, to my family.
Give my best self to myselfalso, which is something we
can't forget.
Tyra Valeriano (02:04):
Yeah, I really like that.
How long have you been a?
David Smith (02:08):
lieutenant at your agency Not long, so I got
promoted this summer, actually,congratulations.
It's been good, thank you.
Tyra Valeriano (02:15):
That's great.
So you stepped into thatposition and did you already
have these ideas that you justspoke about when you took that
position in as a lieutenant?
David Smith (02:26):
Yeah, yeah, I have been, uh, I've been on the peer
support team.
Uh, I joined that as a sergeant, so, um, I've already been kind
of involved in the, in theleadership aspect of the peer
support team, um, and as alieutenant, um, possibly I might
be the one in charge of theteam at some point.
(02:47):
So I have been working to bringsome new initiatives to my
department.
Tyra Valeriano (02:54):
I'm not really one on war stories just yet,
we're not there in the podcastjust yet.
But you said that you were inSWAT.
Is there anything that youexperienced during your time in
SWAT that kind of led you towant to do the peer support
group, or is there maybesomething outside of SWAT or in
your career that triggered thatinterest for you?
David Smith (03:28):
work on myself the past few years.
It boils down toself-development and through a
program that I'm involved incalled Apogee and completing a
different program before thatcalled the Modern Day Night
Project, I really started torealize, you know, how much work
I needed to do to do themmyself, because I wasn't giving
my best self to my department,to my family, to my kids.
(03:49):
So once I started working onthat and I really reached a
point in my own fulfillment thatI realized now it's time to
give back and to help othersalso reach this same point of
fulfillment, which I couldn'tfind on the job.
(04:11):
I think joining the job as ayoung person you do have a lot
of fulfillment.
It's a righteous thing to do.
So that can carry you along fora while.
But, uh, with burnout, theamount of critical incidents
that we see on the job, it'sgoing to happen, and a lot of
(04:35):
people don't think it's going tohappen to them, which they're
the ones that are probablyalready in burnout, so uh.
So I got to a point where Iwant to give back and help those
people who essentially it wasme, you know, a while back want
to help that person, you know,turn their mindset around and
(04:56):
live their life in a way so thatit brings way more fulfillment
and purpose, which at the endjust helps their career is way
more fulfillment and purpose,which at the end just helps
their career.
Tyra Valeriano (05:12):
Yeah, you mentioned a key point mindset.
That's huge and with doingcoaching, I even myself have
learned that mindset is and Iknow it sounds cliche, I tell
this to my clients a lot.
When you talk about mindset,it's just like, oh okay, but
really it does matter, and theonly person that can decide
what's going to happen in theirlife is you, because whatever
goes on in your head you havecontrol of.
Nobody else can control that.
So if you change your mindset,of course it can definitely make
(05:35):
things a lot better for you.
All right, Well, tell us alittle bit about what you went
through in your career.
What's your story?
What?
What got you to this point, towhere you wanted to focus on,
you know, working on yourhighest self?
David Smith (05:48):
So I came off of SWAT in 2021.
I did seven years.
You know, I came off as a teamleader and the reason I came off
was because I was having mysecond child and I didn't want
to devote that time anymore,essentially so getting called
out in the middle of the nightor any time of day I wanted to
(06:10):
devote that time to my family.
I told my wife you know when,because we've been together, you
know as long as I've been anofficer.
So I told her when we starthaving kids, we'll talk about
SWAT.
And I did not come off with ourfirst kid.
So after two years with thefirst kid and then the second
(06:32):
one coming, I was like it's time, it's time to come off.
So when that happened in 2021,right before that was COVID
During.
All that actually actually hasto say, cause it was really a
few years.
So COVID was was pretty wildand the George Floyd stuff,
(06:52):
which really didn't have a largeimpact on the city, on my
department.
But I feel it was a nationwide,like overall what's the right
word?
Nationwide?
Like overall, um, what's theright word?
Um, just an overall downer, Iguess you could say for for
policing.
It's kind of like like becauseI worked through ferguson also,
(07:15):
which was fine as a younger cop,didn't faze me much.
Um got a lot of the uh, handsup, don't shoot type thing, but
then george floyd happened.
It's like, oh, not again, herewe go.
So it really wasn't, um, like Isaid, a huge impact on my city.
But then, coinciding with coviduh for me personally and then
(07:39):
coming off a swat, I definitelyfelt like I didn't have a large
um fulfillment.
There's definitely a hole thatneeded to to be filled and I was
on the steady down climb or, uh, the steady down downward
spiral, I guess you could sayliving living the quiet life of
(08:01):
desperation.
So, um, I looked up to a lot ofNavy SEALs and people in that
arena online seeking inspirationand was being inspired, and I
ended up doing the Modern DayKnight project in February of
2022.
So that's a 75-hour men'sdevelopment program.
(08:23):
They make it look very flashy,very sexy, with the promo vids,
with looking like Bud's HellWeek.
It's a major beatdown to bebuilt back up.
There's actually a lot ofclassroom porcing during that
time, even though you have verylittle sleep.
(08:46):
That transformed my life.
It was definitely the catalystfor me to learn how to do
something for myself and nobodyelse, to learn that when I walk
into a room I'm not trying toprove myself to anybody, uh,
because I've, I've proved myselfto myself.
So, in a weird way, you know,learning how to love myself was,
(09:10):
was a key part uh that I tookaway from the project and
defeating limiting beliefs.
So after that, you know, justliving the high from that for a
while, I recognize that you know, the highs aren't going to last
forever.
So I was seeking, seekingdifferent, uh, the same group of
(09:30):
people to surround myself with,to to be around those high
achievers which, looking back,was the same reason I got on the
SWAT team was like hey, theseguys are the best on the
department, I want to be aroundthe best.
Uh, I want to be around thebest, I want to be like them.
So, uh, reasons for joiningswat, like, and now, the people
that I was seeking is kind ofthe same thing.
(09:53):
After I did that, I, Idiscovered, um, a program called
apogee, and apogee helped giveme a direction.
Like I, I wanted to find outwhat I don't know.
Helped give me a direction.
Like I, I wanted to find outwhat I don't know.
Um, I needed mentors.
Uh, I'm a big believer that if,if you have somebody that is in
(10:16):
the direction that you want togo, like it's it's worth your
time, worth your money to getthat person as a coach or mentor
uh, because you're just goingto sit there and figure it out
by yourself then you're probablynot going to get anywhere.
I'm a believer that no one isself-made, so I joined the
(10:36):
program Apogee, which is a12-month online men's
development program, which nowthey have online programs for
men, women, young men, youngwomen and schools throughout the
country.
So that provided me directionand purpose in learning and
(10:58):
developing myself and doing thisdeep, deep work and surrounding
myself with other men who aredoing the same thing, who are
also broken and trying to figurethemselves out and put their
best self forward for theirfamily.
Tyra Valeriano (11:16):
That's great.
David Smith (11:17):
Does that answer your question?
Tyra Valeriano (11:19):
Yeah, no, that actually brings a lot more
questions.
So that 75-hour initial coursethat you took, was that through
your agency or was thatsomething you did on your
personal behalf?
David Smith (11:35):
That was something I did personally, okay.
Tyra Valeriano (11:38):
And now that you are a lieutenant, how has these
programs and what you'velearned kind of turned over into
what you're doing for theagency and officers that work
there?
David Smith (11:50):
Yeah.
So a lot of with Apogee is isdiscovering your mission and
purpose.
So it kind of it kind of turns,turns the dial to hey, you've
done so much on yourselfyourself, you're now doing a lot
of the living your life, with alot of these daily habits and a
(12:11):
lot of structure.
Then, well now, what do you?
What are you going to do withall that is to give.
So we we just had a whole monthon giving, talking about
starting nonprofits and stufflike team and the peer support
team has been a good function.
The large goal of that has beento respond to critical
(12:54):
incidents and do some debriefs.
If some trauma or tragedyhappens in the department,
somebody on the peer supportteam will reach out to the
officer and stuff which has beengood.
Or tragedy happens on thedepartment, somebody on the peer
support team will reach out tothe officer and stuff which has
been good.
I desire to bring a moreproactive approach.
You know a lot of the stuffthat I've learned to learn in
(13:16):
Apogee is being proactive onyourself.
So if we have this mindsetshift like we talked about, this
mindset shift where an officercan think about themselves
really and what can I do to beaccountable to myself, then
(13:38):
you're just fighting againstthat downward slope.
To me that's suicide prevention, nope, to me that's suicide
prevention.
So we can hold each otheraccountable all we want, but
it's still up to that person toflip the switch and to do what's
right and to do the work that'snecessary to fight against that
, knowing that we respond to.
(13:59):
You know hundreds of criticalincidents throughout the year
that you know an average personmay see only a few of.
We're experiencing all thesemajor traumas and micro traumas.
I mean, every day you're goingto domestics, you're dealing in
high stress situation.
High stress situations likethat affects our body, that
(14:20):
affects our hormones, like yearsand years of doing that.
So there's so many aspects ofworking on yourself and one of
the questions that I've beenpondering since doing all this
work through Apogee and theModern Day Night Project is how
do you, in a profession ofserving others, for first
(14:44):
responders, how does one thinkabout serving themselves?
Because we don't.
Self-development is almost acompletely foreign concept.
So that's kind of like themindset shift that I'm looking
for within law enforcement,within first responders, and I
see a lot of like the wellnessinitiatives with there's a lot
(15:08):
going on in that field right now.
I feel like there's a big pushfor that In Virginia.
Governor Youngkin hasspecifically devoted a lot of
money to that arena.
But you see a lot of like themental health side of it.
A lot of talk about suicide, alot of talk about mental health.
(15:29):
Kind of the spin, kind of theangle that I like to push is,
you know, not actually nottalking about mental health.
Let's talk about our standardsfirst.
Let's talk about our emotionalhealth, our spiritual health,
physical health, nutritionalhealth, financial health.
(15:51):
You know, once we get all thatsquared away, good mental health
is just going to be a byproduct.
So that's kind of the missionI'm on within the department,
how I've applied what I'velearned to the department.
Tyra Valeriano (16:00):
Yeah, those are all really great aspects of
wellness, because when we dotalk about mental health, we are
talking about specificallysuicide awareness, but there is
a wellness aspect and itincludes all of that because it
does contribute and this isactually something I talked to
with someone else is the mentalhealth aspect, or wellness is
(16:24):
multifaceted.
It's not just one contributionand it's not just from trauma
that happens at work, it'sfinances, it's home life, it's
everything health, just overallwellness.
And there are only, I want tosay, a few agencies that I know
that actually incorporateeverything that you said and
they have resources for officers, but this is not something
(16:46):
that's very widespread.
You know there's not a lot ofagencies that have that.
So, with that being said, howdo you plan to incorporate this
into your peer support group?
Or, I mean, is there a planthat you have for creating some
type of wellness program orresources for the officers at
your agency?
David Smith (17:11):
Yeah, it boils down to just offering it.
So I'm working on bringing someoutside training into our
department.
There's a lot of good thingsout there.
There's a lot of good financialpieces, whether that be
financial advisors, coaches haveyou, I'm working on bringing a
class right now from uh.
There's a firm locally that alot of former officers um run,
(17:34):
so they're they know the gamebut you know, within the first
responder realm, so they, theycan help bring that, that
financial education, you know,so that you officers don't have
to have debt leaning over theirhead, you know, or can get out
of that scarcity mindset to moreabundance mindset mindset which
(17:56):
is something that I've beenworking on personally.
So I mean so that and other.
There's a lot of other wellnesscourses I want to bring.
You know, there there's mindsetprograms.
There's um, there's meditationand breath work and uh, a lot,
of, a lot of stuff like that,that that can help de-stress,
help us sleep better.
(18:17):
So I want to bring a lot ofthat training to the department.
But the key part is alsodefeating that stigma behind the
peer support team that nobodywants to talk to peer support,
which I understand.
I have that mindset too.
But what if we were the onespresenting this wellness
(18:39):
training.
What if we were up there infront of all these officers
saying, hey, this is what we'rebringing to the table as the
peer support team?
You know what if we had eventsthat were just fun, like let's
just have some fun?
So I literally ordered ust-shirts, so peer support, like
(18:59):
people can know that we're thepeer support team in a positive
interaction, because there hasbeen no positive interactions so
now, and it's not, it's notgoing to be immediate, it could
take years.
But if you have those positiveinteractions stacked up, when
you have that trauma or tragedy,you have somebody like, oh man,
(19:20):
this is really affecting me andsomebody suggests peer support
to them.
It's like, oh yeah, I know this, this one person, because they
had a peer support shirt on andand they know the name of my
kids, like I trust that person.
So that's gonna.
That's a while.
(19:41):
Um, I don't think a lot of umdepartments nationwide like to
spend money, so that's that'salways an uphill battle.
There's we have our own umchiefs foundation, which is very
helpful, and there's othernonprofits out there too.
So that's kind of what it boilsdown to on my mission with
(20:07):
changing that and bringing thatto the department.
Tyra Valeriano (20:10):
Being that you are in chain of command and you
have a admin position.
I'm sure you might know whereI'm going with this.
Do you feel that there is awall there?
Because you're on peer supportand you are promoting this, that
still officers do have thatstigma.
You know, I don't want to go tomy supervisor or I don't want
(20:32):
to go to somebody within myagency that holds rank because
they're afraid of jeopardizingtheir job If it's something.
For example, you mentionedfinances.
For most agencies you can'thave a bankruptcy or you can't
be in extreme debt.
I mean, they check yourbackground and I don't know if
it's like that in Virginia, butI know that a lot of agencies do
that and if, let's say, theyhave gotten in debt or they're
(20:56):
on the verge of filingbankruptcy, they're afraid of
losing their job.
You know, coming forward withthis information, but they want
help.
So how do you think that it'sgoing to be trying to tear that
wall down so that they can feelcomfortable, you know, coming to
the peer support group that'swithin the agency and not
fearing their job?
David Smith (21:16):
It's definitely an uphill battle and I think it
starts with bringing it to thetable in conversation.
You know it's hard as alieutenant to understand what's
going on in my precinct withinthat realm because, as being in
the chain of command, I can'tgive direct peer support you
know, officially to somebodythat is under my supervision, to
(21:39):
somebody that is under mysupervision.
So now another key part youknow, speaking about supervision
, is that a lot of the membersof our peer support team have
recently got promoted.
So now we have a lot of membersthat are not peers to the
officers.
So that's something that youknow is an easy fix.
(22:02):
You know we'll bring in moremembers.
You know we'll put on sometraining and stuff like that.
But there's this stigma oftalking and worrying about these
things, worrying about your job, whether that's if you're
having depression or you're in areally bad spot financially.
(22:26):
That's part of the mindsetshift that needs to happen is
that it's OK to talk about thesethings.
There are people out there thatwant to help.
You know there's a code in thevirginia state code that
protects a peer supportconversation uh, from from
telling anybody in command fromtestifying in court, unless it's
(22:47):
like a criminal matter or youwant to kill yourself.
So, uh, a lot of that stuff canbe brought to the table within
peer support.
But there's that educationpiece that a lot of people don't
know, that don't realize thatwe just hired a psychologist for
the city that's gonna beworking a lot with public safety
for our city.
(23:08):
So I'm hoping you know that'sgonna bring to the table more
training, more education.
So people know this and it'sgotta be constant.
So one of the key parts that I'malso trying to reach is the
families.
So the families of officers.
So so they know, like, causethey're going through the same
(23:30):
stuff that that their spouses.
So we're, we're reinstituting afamily night.
The Academy is I think that'skind of gone away since COVID a
family night during the Academysession.
So all the new officers comingin, we have an opportunity's
going to take time and it'sgoing to take effort.
And the effort is the key partbecause you can do a little bit
(24:06):
here and there, but it's got tobe constant and it's got to be.
It's going to take time.
It may take years to have anofficer feel comfortable.
You know it could take years ofan officer having constant
wellness, education to finallyslip the switch and realize,
(24:27):
like you know what, I think itis okay to talk to this one
person on peer support becausenow I trust them.
So it's not a battle, but it'sworth it.
Tyra Valeriano (24:38):
I do think that starting we're in an area of law
enforcement where and maybe youcan disagree, but I think that
there's a lot of the newgeneration coming in and I've
talked about this before becausethey're very different than
from the time we started lawenforcement, 100% different.
We don't.
They don't deal with things thesame way we do Going through
(25:02):
FTO.
I know in my agency and thestate that I worked in it has
changed from the time I was onFTO until now, because the
generation is different.
They don't really want to dealwith certain things and when
they are faced with things thatthey don't like, they're out.
Hey, I don't have to deal withthis, you know, I'm done.
(25:23):
But starting in the academy oreven when they get hired, it's
really good to startimplementing these ideas into
their heads, because now, it'snot about changing the stigma if
this is what they learned goingin, whereas we started, where
this was not ever brought to ourattention, this was not
something that was aconversation on the forefront,
(25:43):
and there it is going to takeyears, it's going to take a long
time, but it's.
At what point are we going tostart, which I think we're
having some really good momentumnow on this topic.
But you're in a really goodposition because people want to
see their leaders making stridesand doing it themselves to say,
hey, okay, he's doing it, he'sdone it.
(26:05):
It's not like he just did itfrom one day to the next to say,
oh, hey, I'm doing it, y'allneed to do it.
You're actually making theattempt to show them hey, I've
been doing this, you should tryit, and I think that's huge.
So, with you being in aleadership position, have you
felt that maybe other leaders inagencies, maybe even your own,
(26:28):
could take this step for them,so that everybody else
underneath them can say, hey,our leaders are doing this and
maybe this is a good thing?
David Smith (26:38):
Yeah, it's funny you ask that because, within the
leadership realm, I'm kind ofgetting roped into.
It's a class that we teach atour in-service called effective
leadership.
So I'm kind of getting ropedinto helping assist with
restructuring it and teachingall the supervisors in the
(27:01):
department.
So leadership has beensomething on my mind for the
last month or so.
So it starts with everythingI've been talking about.
It starts with ourselves.
I saw a quote the other day thatsays 75% of leadership is
leading yourself the other daythat says 75% of leadership is
(27:25):
leading yourself, and I think Itend to think that it's 100% of
leadership is leading yourself.
If you can't put your best selfforward and show everyone
around you that you are holdinga standard not just the
department standard, but an evenbetter standard then if they
don't see that, then they're notgoing to follow you.
If they don't see inspiration,they're not going to follow you.
(28:08):
Now, well, your job is to betheir boss.
Yes, I get that, but being aleader is something totally
different.
Being a leader is somethingtotally different.
You know, if you want them tofollow, if you have half your
people leaving your precinct, umcause we?
We do a rotation every year soofficers can go to another
(28:29):
precinct if they want to.
So if you have one year youknow half the people leaving,
then there's yeah, you're doingyour job as a quote unquote
leader or manager or whateveryou want to call it, but um is
there?
Was there a true leadershipthere?
If you know half your peopleare leaving, um, were you
inspiring your officers, youknow, and motivating them?
(28:49):
Um, and that's a whole otherconversation.
Motivate, motivating and andintrinsic motivation also, you
know, also is a key part ofself-development that is just
bred naturally when you startworking on yourself.
I'm hoping that I can help pushthis mindset shift on our
(29:15):
department and nationwide.
I have an opportunity coming upto speak with a bunch of
command-level leaders next monthgiving this talk, sort of
wellness presentation, and soI'm hoping that that the message
starts spreading.
And it's really just you knowthe whole extreme ownership
(29:36):
conversation, um, like jock andall them, which is which is
great, and this is exactly whatit is.
You have to.
You have to look at yourselffirst.
You can't just do the rightthings and expect people to
follow you.
Right, you have to, you have tolive it.
Tyra Valeriano (30:02):
That brings me to a question If you wouldn't
mind sharing a instance that youhad to have that tough
conversation with yourself,maybe specifically in law
enforcement or in your home lifethat may have, maybe that an
officer can relate to, where youknew you had to address
yourself and say I have tochange this and maybe take
responsibility or accountabilityfor what it was that
contributed to whateversituation you may have went
(30:24):
through.
Can you think of a time thatyou felt that when you were
going through this journey, um,so something that, like I
realized an area I was deficientin.
David Smith (30:38):
I guess you could say um, I I'd say probably the
first thing that pops in my headis is my presence.
Uh, and it's, it's more.
It applies personally andprofessionally being present and
not just thinking about what'sto come or what has happened.
(31:03):
One of the guys I follow he hasa lot of great stuff Seth
Eckerson with my Steady Mind, hecalls it time traveling.
So he, if you're, if you'reconstantly thinking about you,
know what's, what's going tohappen, what's going to happen,
you're, you're time traveling,like let's, let's be here now.
And so when you think about thatin terms of family, like the
(31:26):
being here now with with my kidsand being present, uh, tried to
put down my phone when I gothome from work and ignore it and
literally leave it in anotherroom and be present with my
family, especially at dinnertime.
Now I have an opportunity forthe first time, not working
shift work ever, so we havefamily dinner every night.
(31:50):
So I set my phone phone down,which is harder than you think
and I fail at it still, butsetting my phone down and being
present with my kids and lookingthem in the eye, communicating
with them, because if that phoneis sitting on the table, then
the most important thing in theroom is the phone.
So stuff, stuff like that beingpresent, being present with my
(32:13):
wife and being intentional withdate nights every week, and even
if it's hard to plan you know,we got young kids like it
doesn't happen exactly the wayyou want it, but we can still be
intentional, even if we don'tgo out to eat or what have you
and then on the department isbeing present with our officers.
(32:35):
So even as a Lieutenant, I'mstill attending roll calls, not
even to bring anything, just tobe there and chat, you know,
with my phone in my pocket andlisten to what they're saying.
So, uh, presence is somethingthat I think, as, as aant, I
could have done a lot better andnow, going forward in my career
(32:58):
, it's something that I'm beingvery intentional about and
bringing to the table in mycareer and personally.
Tyra Valeriano (33:05):
That's great.
How do you think, if you decideto do this class or course for
leadership that you mentionedearlier, there's obviously two
groups of leaders.
You have your leaders who arewilling to learn and change, and
then you have your leaders whoare stuck in ways because
they've always done it this way.
What do you think is thebiggest challenge when it comes
(33:28):
to those leaders who are we'vealways done this, you know, done
it this way and I'm attendingthis training how do you get
through to them?
How do you plant the seed tomaybe hopefully change their
mind that things can bedifferent?
David Smith (33:43):
It's tough.
I think that you know everyperson is different.
The catalyst to flip the switchis different for each person.
We've had guys pay off a ton ofdebt and then all of a sudden
they lost a bunch of weightbecause that was their catalyst.
For me it was going throughthat program.
(34:06):
For others it could be readinga specific book and something
clicks in their head like man, Ireally should be doing what
this says.
So part of it is offering thatperspective and offering this I
guess you could say mindset, butmore of a perspective shift
(34:31):
when thinking about certainthings.
So, for example, when we'retalking about purpose, like
what's our purpose?
What's your purpose for joiningthe department?
It's probably if you're beinghonest with yourself, it's
probably not quote-unquotemaking a difference.
(34:52):
But if, yeah, sure that's apiece of it, but, like for me,
it it paid more than what I wasmaking working fast, right.
So, honestly with ourselves andbringing that perspective of, of
purpose, like, um, what's yournot only is what, what's your
(35:13):
purpose in the department,what's your purpose, uh, in your
life.
Like the job is not our purpose, like you can make a difference
anywhere, like you can helppeople and you can serve
anywhere, so why, why this job?
What is your purpose withinthis job?
And then, what's your, youroverarching purpose?
What is your purpose today?
(35:34):
One of the questions that weasked in our apogee, and I mean
it's I'm still likeuncomfortable asking this
question because in our line ofwork, like it's it's very, very
serious and we've seen theresult of it.
But if I ask somebody, whyhaven't you killed yourself
today?
If I ask somebody, why haven'tyou killed yourself today?
Let's answer that questionBecause your purpose today
(35:57):
matters.
There's a reason, everyone hasa reason, because you're
obviously not doing it.
So if we have this perspectiveshift, then over time, like it's
just going to spread and peopleare going to see leaders, you
know, leading at a higher level,and I think it's going to have
(36:20):
an impact.
Tyra Valeriano (36:21):
Yeah, I agree that's a lot of really good
information.
I 100, 1000% am so on boardwith the mindset aspect and that
comes from my own experience.
You know, I feel that being inlaw enforcement and hearing
someone tell me that you hit thenail on the head it's just,
(36:54):
it's difficult to get throughthis wall and it's going to take
a long time.
But it's better to start nowthan to not start at all.
And as long as everybody that'spart of this change or movement
continues the momentum,eventually it's going to get
somewhere.
Even if it's the smallest dent,it's going to get somewhere.
(37:16):
We're running out of time, butis there anything that you want
to share with the listeners thatyou've learned out of your
experience that you'd like toshare with them to maybe take a
piece of advice for them as theygo on in their daily lives and
career?
David Smith (37:31):
Man, there's so many things that I've been
working on, you know, the pastfew years.
It's hard to boil it down toone single thing, but I would
say that you know where itstarted for me was to recognize
that I am good enough, I do havevalue and I am worthy.
(37:52):
You know a room in my past Iwould feel like I got to prove
myself to these people.
Well, now I don't have to provemyself to anybody because I've
proved myself to myself.
I am worthy.
I'm worthy of of love.
(38:14):
I'm worthy of getting paid well, Like now.
I I don't consider myself uh,what's the right way to put it?
Um, my value that I have tooffer is way more than what the
department's paying me.
That's what I value myself at,and I'm working towards those
(38:34):
goals to make that into areality too, and I can still
accomplish my mission on thedepartment as well.
I don't have to trade my timefor dollars, working part-time.
There's a whole entrepreneurialpiece that we haven't even
spoken about that you, you kindof need that mindset shift first
(38:56):
to realize like you could, youcould do anything, and it goes
beyond just telling you knowwhat we tell our kids.
You can be anything you want,yes, that's true, but to to have
that mindset and to actuallybelieve it is.
It takes work, it takes, ittakes time and it takes effort,
more importantly.
So, doing the hard work andchoosing hard over easy is what
(39:18):
it boils down to to change thatmindset, shift to being worthy.
Tyra Valeriano (39:25):
I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that,
Even you saying that.
It reminds me of and I knowthat I'm not the only one who
felt this way but being in lawenforcement, I felt that I
deserve somebody to say, hey, Iappreciate that you did this.
And when they give thatacknowledgement to someone else
and they don't acknowledge you,you feel like you're not doing
(39:45):
enough, or maybe you're not goodenough, because why did they
get acknowledged and not you?
It can even go down as far as alife-saving award.
You know, you've saved a lot oflives.
You didn't get that award, butsomeone else did, and they did
exactly what you did right.
David Smith (40:00):
Yeah, that's happened to me.
Tyra Valeriano (40:02):
Yeah.
So you're feeling some type ofway about it and now you're
thinking that you're not enough.
Now you're upset, you're.
You know, I don't know if Iwant this job or you're just
thinking all kinds of crazythings.
But that is really good advice,because you are enough and
you're not having to prove toanybody what you're doing.
You're doing your job, that'swhat you're supposed to do, and
if you're not gettingacknowledged for it, I think
(40:22):
that's the hardest thing for alot of officers, because I went
through that, I know a lot of myfriends went through that and
just to say, hey, I'm enough,and I know that I'm doing enough
and I know I can do even more,and they're not going to pay me
my worth.
Nobody could pay me my worth,and you just have to change your
mind and believe it.
David Smith (40:41):
Yeah, that's good.
Tyra Valeriano (40:44):
Okay.
So I asked my guests this atthe end of every episode what
would you tell your rookie selfbased on everything that you
know now up until this point?
To give your rookie self advice.
David Smith (40:59):
Man, I feel like I've I've said a lot of it
already.
Um, I would tell my rookie selfthat you are worth it.
You know everything you'redoing.
Don't do it for anyone else,like do it, do it for you.
Um, it's, it's a worthy goal toto serve others and yeah, that,
(41:20):
that that's righteous and andit's great, can't keep you going
forever and in fact, you coulddo it better if you, if you
serve yourself first.
It's I mean, we've already saidit, I'm starting to circle back
being a mindset shift, but ifyou lead yourself, then that'll
(41:46):
be enough.
Tyra Valeriano (41:47):
Yeah, that's good.
Okay, David, do you have anypoints of contact that listeners
can reach out to if they wantto ask you any questions or make
contact with you?
David Smith (41:57):
Yeah, absolutely.
Probably the best source isInstagram.
It's strong underscoreinstitute underscore.
That's my professionalInstagram for my own coaching
public speaking company.
And then LinkedIn.
You can find me under my nameas well.
(42:18):
Real name common spelling Okay,David.
Tyra Valeriano (42:24):
Well, thank you so much for your time.
I appreciate you joining metoday and I think that there is
a lot of value in yourperspectives.
There's a lot of things thatare very interesting and not so
I want to say not so averagethings that people probably
haven't heard about before, andI think it's worth them looking
into, especially if it's goingto help them change their
mindset because, as we've said,that's a huge thing that nobody
talks about.
(42:45):
So I appreciate your time.
To my listeners, Thank you fortuning in.
You guys, be safe and we'll seeyou on the next one.
David Smith (42:51):
Thank you.
Tyra Valeriano (42:53):
Thank you for joining me on Chapter Blue.
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to follow and tag me on
social media and share withyour friends and fellow officers
.
If you're interested in joiningan episode, I'd love for you to
be a part of the conversation.
Until next time, stay safe,take care of yourself and
remember you're never alone inthis journey.
Welcome to Chapter Blue, the podcast where
we discuss the world of lawenforcement through an honest
conversation on tough orcontroversial topics, real
stories, perspectives andexperience from officers all
around the world.
Whether you're here forinsights on mental health,
self-care, work-life balance,getting into law enforcement,
getting out of law enforcement,or just trying to learn about
(00:21):
personal and professionalchallenges officers face every
day, you've come to the rightplace.
I'm your host, tyra Valeriano,and whether I'm going solo or
speaking with a guest, eachepisode will discuss different
aspects of life behind the badge.
Let's turn the page and stepinto Chapter Blue.
Welcome back to another episodeof Chapter Blue.
(00:42):
I'm pretty intrigued withtoday's guest.
His name is David Smith and iscurrently an active police
officer out of Virginia.
He has some interestingconcepts that helped him flip
the switch to live his life thebest way possible while working
as an officer in today's climate.
His agency.
(01:04):
He will be sharing his storyand perspective in hopes to help
other officers in the field.
So thank you for joining metoday, david, all the way from
Virginia.
Tell us a little more aboutyour background in law
enforcement.
David Smith (01:12):
Thanks for having me.
I really, really appreciateyour time and having me on the
podcast.
It's definitely a privilege.
I've been, like you said, 13years.
I did seven years on the SWATteam and right now I'm part of
the peer support team on mydepartment.
So I'm looking to bring somechanges there and my mission
(01:33):
really is.
Wellness is the one word answerbut really I've been working on
a lot of things on myself thepast three years to the best way
I can put it aren't my words,but living in congruency with my
highest self, so that I cangive my best self to those
(01:54):
around me, to those in mydepartment, to my family.
Give my best self to myselfalso, which is something we
can't forget.
Tyra Valeriano (02:04):
Yeah, I really like that.
How long have you been a?
David Smith (02:08):
lieutenant at your agency Not long, so I got
promoted this summer, actually,congratulations.
It's been good, thank you.
Tyra Valeriano (02:15):
That's great.
So you stepped into thatposition and did you already
have these ideas that you justspoke about when you took that
position in as a lieutenant?
David Smith (02:26):
Yeah, yeah, I have been, uh, I've been on the peer
support team.
Uh, I joined that as a sergeant, so, um, I've already been kind
of involved in the, in theleadership aspect of the peer
support team, um, and as alieutenant, um, possibly I might
be the one in charge of theteam at some point.
(02:47):
So I have been working to bringsome new initiatives to my
department.
Tyra Valeriano (02:54):
I'm not really one on war stories just yet,
we're not there in the podcastjust yet.
But you said that you were inSWAT.
Is there anything that youexperienced during your time in
SWAT that kind of led you towant to do the peer support
group, or is there maybesomething outside of SWAT or in
your career that triggered thatinterest for you?
David Smith (03:28):
work on myself the past few years.
It boils down toself-development and through a
program that I'm involved incalled Apogee and completing a
different program before thatcalled the Modern Day Night
Project, I really started torealize, you know, how much work
I needed to do to do themmyself, because I wasn't giving
my best self to my department,to my family, to my kids.
(03:49):
So once I started working onthat and I really reached a
point in my own fulfillment thatI realized now it's time to
give back and to help othersalso reach this same point of
fulfillment, which I couldn'tfind on the job.
(04:11):
I think joining the job as ayoung person you do have a lot
of fulfillment.
It's a righteous thing to do.
So that can carry you along fora while.
But, uh, with burnout, theamount of critical incidents
that we see on the job, it'sgoing to happen, and a lot of
(04:35):
people don't think it's going tohappen to them, which they're
the ones that are probablyalready in burnout, so uh.
So I got to a point where Iwant to give back and help those
people who essentially it wasme, you know, a while back want
to help that person, you know,turn their mindset around and
(04:56):
live their life in a way so thatit brings way more fulfillment
and purpose, which at the endjust helps their career is way
more fulfillment and purpose,which at the end just helps
their career.
Tyra Valeriano (05:12):
Yeah, you mentioned a key point mindset.
That's huge and with doingcoaching, I even myself have
learned that mindset is and Iknow it sounds cliche, I tell
this to my clients a lot.
When you talk about mindset,it's just like, oh okay, but
really it does matter, and theonly person that can decide
what's going to happen in theirlife is you, because whatever
goes on in your head you havecontrol of.
Nobody else can control that.
So if you change your mindset,of course it can definitely make
(05:35):
things a lot better for you.
All right, Well, tell us alittle bit about what you went
through in your career.
What's your story?
What?
What got you to this point, towhere you wanted to focus on,
you know, working on yourhighest self?
David Smith (05:48):
So I came off of SWAT in 2021.
I did seven years.
You know, I came off as a teamleader and the reason I came off
was because I was having mysecond child and I didn't want
to devote that time anymore,essentially so getting called
out in the middle of the nightor any time of day I wanted to
(06:10):
devote that time to my family.
I told my wife you know when,because we've been together, you
know as long as I've been anofficer.
So I told her when we starthaving kids, we'll talk about
SWAT.
And I did not come off with ourfirst kid.
So after two years with thefirst kid and then the second
(06:32):
one coming, I was like it's time, it's time to come off.
So when that happened in 2021,right before that was COVID
During.
All that actually actually hasto say, cause it was really a
few years.
So COVID was was pretty wildand the George Floyd stuff,
(06:52):
which really didn't have a largeimpact on the city, on my
department.
But I feel it was a nationwide,like overall what's the right
word?
Nationwide?
Like overall, um, what's theright word?
Um, just an overall downer, Iguess you could say for for
policing.
It's kind of like like becauseI worked through ferguson also,
(07:15):
which was fine as a younger cop,didn't faze me much.
Um got a lot of the uh, handsup, don't shoot type thing, but
then george floyd happened.
It's like, oh, not again, herewe go.
So it really wasn't, um, like Isaid, a huge impact on my city.
But then, coinciding with coviduh for me personally and then
(07:39):
coming off a swat, I definitelyfelt like I didn't have a large
um fulfillment.
There's definitely a hole thatneeded to to be filled and I was
on the steady down climb or, uh, the steady down downward
spiral, I guess you could sayliving living the quiet life of
(08:01):
desperation.
So, um, I looked up to a lot ofNavy SEALs and people in that
arena online seeking inspirationand was being inspired, and I
ended up doing the Modern DayKnight project in February of
2022.
So that's a 75-hour men'sdevelopment program.
(08:23):
They make it look very flashy,very sexy, with the promo vids,
with looking like Bud's HellWeek.
It's a major beatdown to bebuilt back up.
There's actually a lot ofclassroom porcing during that
time, even though you have verylittle sleep.
(08:46):
That transformed my life.
It was definitely the catalystfor me to learn how to do
something for myself and nobodyelse, to learn that when I walk
into a room I'm not trying toprove myself to anybody, uh,
because I've, I've proved myselfto myself.
So, in a weird way, you know,learning how to love myself was,
(09:10):
was a key part uh that I tookaway from the project and
defeating limiting beliefs.
So after that, you know, justliving the high from that for a
while, I recognize that you know, the highs aren't going to last
forever.
So I was seeking, seekingdifferent, uh, the same group of
(09:30):
people to surround myself with,to to be around those high
achievers which, looking back,was the same reason I got on the
SWAT team was like hey, theseguys are the best on the
department, I want to be aroundthe best.
Uh, I want to be around thebest, I want to be like them.
So, uh, reasons for joiningswat, like, and now, the people
that I was seeking is kind ofthe same thing.
(09:53):
After I did that, I, Idiscovered, um, a program called
apogee, and apogee helped giveme a direction.
Like I, I wanted to find outwhat I don't know.
Helped give me a direction.
Like I, I wanted to find outwhat I don't know.
Um, I needed mentors.
Uh, I'm a big believer that if,if you have somebody that is in
(10:16):
the direction that you want togo, like it's it's worth your
time, worth your money to getthat person as a coach or mentor
uh, because you're just goingto sit there and figure it out
by yourself then you're probablynot going to get anywhere.
I'm a believer that no one isself-made, so I joined the
(10:36):
program Apogee, which is a12-month online men's
development program, which nowthey have online programs for
men, women, young men, youngwomen and schools throughout the
country.
So that provided me directionand purpose in learning and
(10:58):
developing myself and doing thisdeep, deep work and surrounding
myself with other men who aredoing the same thing, who are
also broken and trying to figurethemselves out and put their
best self forward for theirfamily.
Tyra Valeriano (11:16):
That's great.
David Smith (11:17):
Does that answer your question?
Tyra Valeriano (11:19):
Yeah, no, that actually brings a lot more
questions.
So that 75-hour initial coursethat you took, was that through
your agency or was thatsomething you did on your
personal behalf?
David Smith (11:35):
That was something I did personally, okay.
Tyra Valeriano (11:38):
And now that you are a lieutenant, how has these
programs and what you'velearned kind of turned over into
what you're doing for theagency and officers that work
there?
David Smith (11:50):
Yeah.
So a lot of with Apogee is isdiscovering your mission and
purpose.
So it kind of it kind of turns,turns the dial to hey, you've
done so much on yourselfyourself, you're now doing a lot
of the living your life, with alot of these daily habits and a
(12:11):
lot of structure.
Then, well now, what do you?
What are you going to do withall that is to give.
So we we just had a whole monthon giving, talking about
starting nonprofits and stufflike team and the peer support
team has been a good function.
The large goal of that has beento respond to critical
(12:54):
incidents and do some debriefs.
If some trauma or tragedyhappens in the department,
somebody on the peer supportteam will reach out to the
officer and stuff which has beengood.
Or tragedy happens on thedepartment, somebody on the peer
support team will reach out tothe officer and stuff which has
been good.
I desire to bring a moreproactive approach.
You know a lot of the stuffthat I've learned to learn in
(13:16):
Apogee is being proactive onyourself.
So if we have this mindsetshift like we talked about, this
mindset shift where an officercan think about themselves
really and what can I do to beaccountable to myself, then
(13:38):
you're just fighting againstthat downward slope.
To me that's suicide prevention, nope, to me that's suicide
prevention.
So we can hold each otheraccountable all we want, but
it's still up to that person toflip the switch and to do what's
right and to do the work that'snecessary to fight against that
, knowing that we respond to.
(13:59):
You know hundreds of criticalincidents throughout the year
that you know an average personmay see only a few of.
We're experiencing all thesemajor traumas and micro traumas.
I mean, every day you're goingto domestics, you're dealing in
high stress situation.
High stress situations likethat affects our body, that
(14:20):
affects our hormones, like yearsand years of doing that.
So there's so many aspects ofworking on yourself and one of
the questions that I've beenpondering since doing all this
work through Apogee and theModern Day Night Project is how
do you, in a profession ofserving others, for first
(14:44):
responders, how does one thinkabout serving themselves?
Because we don't.
Self-development is almost acompletely foreign concept.
So that's kind of like themindset shift that I'm looking
for within law enforcement,within first responders, and I
see a lot of like the wellnessinitiatives with there's a lot
(15:08):
going on in that field right now.
I feel like there's a big pushfor that In Virginia.
Governor Youngkin hasspecifically devoted a lot of
money to that arena.
But you see a lot of like themental health side of it.
A lot of talk about suicide, alot of talk about mental health.
(15:29):
Kind of the spin, kind of theangle that I like to push is,
you know, not actually nottalking about mental health.
Let's talk about our standardsfirst.
Let's talk about our emotionalhealth, our spiritual health,
physical health, nutritionalhealth, financial health.
(15:51):
You know, once we get all thatsquared away, good mental health
is just going to be a byproduct.
So that's kind of the missionI'm on within the department,
how I've applied what I'velearned to the department.
Tyra Valeriano (16:00):
Yeah, those are all really great aspects of
wellness, because when we dotalk about mental health, we are
talking about specificallysuicide awareness, but there is
a wellness aspect and itincludes all of that because it
does contribute and this isactually something I talked to
with someone else is the mentalhealth aspect, or wellness is
(16:24):
multifaceted.
It's not just one contributionand it's not just from trauma
that happens at work, it'sfinances, it's home life, it's
everything health, just overallwellness.
And there are only, I want tosay, a few agencies that I know
that actually incorporateeverything that you said and
they have resources for officers, but this is not something
(16:46):
that's very widespread.
You know there's not a lot ofagencies that have that.
So, with that being said, howdo you plan to incorporate this
into your peer support group?
Or, I mean, is there a planthat you have for creating some
type of wellness program orresources for the officers at
your agency?
David Smith (17:11):
Yeah, it boils down to just offering it.
So I'm working on bringing someoutside training into our
department.
There's a lot of good thingsout there.
There's a lot of good financialpieces, whether that be
financial advisors, coaches haveyou, I'm working on bringing a
class right now from uh.
There's a firm locally that alot of former officers um run,
(17:34):
so they're they know the gamebut you know, within the first
responder realm, so they, theycan help bring that, that
financial education, you know,so that you officers don't have
to have debt leaning over theirhead, you know, or can get out
of that scarcity mindset to moreabundance mindset mindset which
(17:56):
is something that I've beenworking on personally.
So I mean so that and other.
There's a lot of other wellnesscourses I want to bring.
You know, there there's mindsetprograms.
There's um, there's meditationand breath work and uh, a lot,
of, a lot of stuff like that,that that can help de-stress,
help us sleep better.
(18:17):
So I want to bring a lot ofthat training to the department.
But the key part is alsodefeating that stigma behind the
peer support team that nobodywants to talk to peer support,
which I understand.
I have that mindset too.
But what if we were the onespresenting this wellness
(18:39):
training.
What if we were up there infront of all these officers
saying, hey, this is what we'rebringing to the table as the
peer support team?
You know what if we had eventsthat were just fun, like let's
just have some fun?
So I literally ordered ust-shirts, so peer support, like
(18:59):
people can know that we're thepeer support team in a positive
interaction, because there hasbeen no positive interactions so
now, and it's not, it's notgoing to be immediate, it could
take years.
But if you have those positiveinteractions stacked up, when
you have that trauma or tragedy,you have somebody like, oh man,
(19:20):
this is really affecting me andsomebody suggests peer support
to them.
It's like, oh yeah, I know this, this one person, because they
had a peer support shirt on andand they know the name of my
kids, like I trust that person.
So that's gonna.
That's a while.
(19:41):
Um, I don't think a lot of umdepartments nationwide like to
spend money, so that's that'salways an uphill battle.
There's we have our own umchiefs foundation, which is very
helpful, and there's othernonprofits out there too.
So that's kind of what it boilsdown to on my mission with
(20:07):
changing that and bringing thatto the department.
Tyra Valeriano (20:10):
Being that you are in chain of command and you
have a admin position.
I'm sure you might know whereI'm going with this.
Do you feel that there is awall there?
Because you're on peer supportand you are promoting this, that
still officers do have thatstigma.
You know, I don't want to go tomy supervisor or I don't want
(20:32):
to go to somebody within myagency that holds rank because
they're afraid of jeopardizingtheir job If it's something.
For example, you mentionedfinances.
For most agencies you can'thave a bankruptcy or you can't
be in extreme debt.
I mean, they check yourbackground and I don't know if
it's like that in Virginia, butI know that a lot of agencies do
that and if, let's say, theyhave gotten in debt or they're
(20:56):
on the verge of filingbankruptcy, they're afraid of
losing their job.
You know, coming forward withthis information, but they want
help.
So how do you think that it'sgoing to be trying to tear that
wall down so that they can feelcomfortable, you know, coming to
the peer support group that'swithin the agency and not
fearing their job?
David Smith (21:16):
It's definitely an uphill battle and I think it
starts with bringing it to thetable in conversation.
You know it's hard as alieutenant to understand what's
going on in my precinct withinthat realm because, as being in
the chain of command, I can'tgive direct peer support you
know, officially to somebodythat is under my supervision, to
(21:39):
somebody that is under mysupervision.
So now another key part youknow, speaking about supervision
, is that a lot of the membersof our peer support team have
recently got promoted.
So now we have a lot of membersthat are not peers to the
officers.
So that's something that youknow is an easy fix.
(22:02):
You know we'll bring in moremembers.
You know we'll put on sometraining and stuff like that.
But there's this stigma oftalking and worrying about these
things, worrying about your job, whether that's if you're
having depression or you're in areally bad spot financially.
(22:26):
That's part of the mindsetshift that needs to happen is
that it's OK to talk about thesethings.
There are people out there thatwant to help.
You know there's a code in thevirginia state code that
protects a peer supportconversation uh, from from
telling anybody in command fromtestifying in court, unless it's
(22:47):
like a criminal matter or youwant to kill yourself.
So, uh, a lot of that stuff canbe brought to the table within
peer support.
But there's that educationpiece that a lot of people don't
know, that don't realize thatwe just hired a psychologist for
the city that's gonna beworking a lot with public safety
for our city.
(23:08):
So I'm hoping you know that'sgonna bring to the table more
training, more education.
So people know this and it'sgotta be constant.
So one of the key parts that I'malso trying to reach is the
families.
So the families of officers.
So so they know, like, causethey're going through the same
(23:30):
stuff that that their spouses.
So we're, we're reinstituting afamily night.
The Academy is I think that'skind of gone away since COVID a
family night during the Academysession.
So all the new officers comingin, we have an opportunity's
going to take time and it'sgoing to take effort.
And the effort is the key partbecause you can do a little bit
(24:06):
here and there, but it's got tobe constant and it's got to be.
It's going to take time.
It may take years to have anofficer feel comfortable.
You know it could take years ofan officer having constant
wellness, education to finallyslip the switch and realize,
(24:27):
like you know what, I think itis okay to talk to this one
person on peer support becausenow I trust them.
So it's not a battle, but it'sworth it.
Tyra Valeriano (24:38):
I do think that starting we're in an area of law
enforcement where and maybe youcan disagree, but I think that
there's a lot of the newgeneration coming in and I've
talked about this before becausethey're very different than
from the time we started lawenforcement, 100% different.
We don't.
They don't deal with things thesame way we do Going through
(25:02):
FTO.
I know in my agency and thestate that I worked in it has
changed from the time I was onFTO until now, because the
generation is different.
They don't really want to dealwith certain things and when
they are faced with things thatthey don't like, they're out.
Hey, I don't have to deal withthis, you know, I'm done.
(25:23):
But starting in the academy oreven when they get hired, it's
really good to startimplementing these ideas into
their heads, because now, it'snot about changing the stigma if
this is what they learned goingin, whereas we started, where
this was not ever brought to ourattention, this was not
something that was aconversation on the forefront,
(25:43):
and there it is going to takeyears, it's going to take a long
time, but it's.
At what point are we going tostart, which I think we're
having some really good momentumnow on this topic.
But you're in a really goodposition because people want to
see their leaders making stridesand doing it themselves to say,
hey, okay, he's doing it, he'sdone it.
(26:05):
It's not like he just did itfrom one day to the next to say,
oh, hey, I'm doing it, y'allneed to do it.
You're actually making theattempt to show them hey, I've
been doing this, you should tryit, and I think that's huge.
So, with you being in aleadership position, have you
felt that maybe other leaders inagencies, maybe even your own,
(26:28):
could take this step for them,so that everybody else
underneath them can say, hey,our leaders are doing this and
maybe this is a good thing?
David Smith (26:38):
Yeah, it's funny you ask that because, within the
leadership realm, I'm kind ofgetting roped into.
It's a class that we teach atour in-service called effective
leadership.
So I'm kind of getting ropedinto helping assist with
restructuring it and teachingall the supervisors in the
(27:01):
department.
So leadership has beensomething on my mind for the
last month or so.
So it starts with everythingI've been talking about.
It starts with ourselves.
I saw a quote the other day thatsays 75% of leadership is
leading yourself the other daythat says 75% of leadership is
(27:25):
leading yourself, and I think Itend to think that it's 100% of
leadership is leading yourself.
If you can't put your best selfforward and show everyone
around you that you are holdinga standard not just the
department standard, but an evenbetter standard then if they
don't see that, then they're notgoing to follow you.
If they don't see inspiration,they're not going to follow you.
(28:08):
Now, well, your job is to betheir boss.
Yes, I get that, but being aleader is something totally
different.
Being a leader is somethingtotally different.
You know, if you want them tofollow, if you have half your
people leaving your precinct, umcause we?
We do a rotation every year soofficers can go to another
(28:29):
precinct if they want to.
So if you have one year youknow half the people leaving,
then there's yeah, you're doingyour job as a quote unquote
leader or manager or whateveryou want to call it, but um is
there?
Was there a true leadershipthere?
If you know half your peopleare leaving, um, were you
inspiring your officers, youknow, and motivating them?
(28:49):
Um, and that's a whole otherconversation.
Motivate, motivating and andintrinsic motivation also, you
know, also is a key part ofself-development that is just
bred naturally when you startworking on yourself.
I'm hoping that I can help pushthis mindset shift on our
(29:15):
department and nationwide.
I have an opportunity coming upto speak with a bunch of
command-level leaders next monthgiving this talk, sort of
wellness presentation, and soI'm hoping that that the message
starts spreading.
And it's really just you knowthe whole extreme ownership
(29:36):
conversation, um, like jock andall them, which is which is
great, and this is exactly whatit is.
You have to.
You have to look at yourselffirst.
You can't just do the rightthings and expect people to
follow you.
Right, you have to, you have tolive it.
Tyra Valeriano (30:02):
That brings me to a question If you wouldn't
mind sharing a instance that youhad to have that tough
conversation with yourself,maybe specifically in law
enforcement or in your home lifethat may have, maybe that an
officer can relate to, where youknew you had to address
yourself and say I have tochange this and maybe take
responsibility or accountabilityfor what it was that
contributed to whateversituation you may have went
(30:24):
through.
Can you think of a time thatyou felt that when you were
going through this journey, um,so something that, like I
realized an area I was deficientin.
David Smith (30:38):
I guess you could say um, I I'd say probably the
first thing that pops in my headis is my presence.
Uh, and it's, it's more.
It applies personally andprofessionally being present and
not just thinking about what'sto come or what has happened.
(31:03):
One of the guys I follow he hasa lot of great stuff Seth
Eckerson with my Steady Mind, hecalls it time traveling.
So he, if you're, if you'reconstantly thinking about you,
know what's, what's going tohappen, what's going to happen,
you're, you're time traveling,like let's, let's be here now.
And so when you think about thatin terms of family, like the
(31:26):
being here now with with my kidsand being present, uh, tried to
put down my phone when I gothome from work and ignore it and
literally leave it in anotherroom and be present with my
family, especially at dinnertime.
Now I have an opportunity forthe first time, not working
shift work ever, so we havefamily dinner every night.
(31:50):
So I set my phone phone down,which is harder than you think
and I fail at it still, butsetting my phone down and being
present with my kids and lookingthem in the eye, communicating
with them, because if that phoneis sitting on the table, then
the most important thing in theroom is the phone.
So stuff, stuff like that beingpresent, being present with my
(32:13):
wife and being intentional withdate nights every week, and even
if it's hard to plan you know,we got young kids like it
doesn't happen exactly the wayyou want it, but we can still be
intentional, even if we don'tgo out to eat or what have you
and then on the department isbeing present with our officers.
(32:35):
So even as a Lieutenant, I'mstill attending roll calls, not
even to bring anything, just tobe there and chat, you know,
with my phone in my pocket andlisten to what they're saying.
So, uh, presence is somethingthat I think, as, as aant, I
could have done a lot better andnow, going forward in my career
(32:58):
, it's something that I'm beingvery intentional about and
bringing to the table in mycareer and personally.
Tyra Valeriano (33:05):
That's great.
How do you think, if you decideto do this class or course for
leadership that you mentionedearlier, there's obviously two
groups of leaders.
You have your leaders who arewilling to learn and change, and
then you have your leaders whoare stuck in ways because
they've always done it this way.
What do you think is thebiggest challenge when it comes
(33:28):
to those leaders who are we'vealways done this, you know, done
it this way and I'm attendingthis training how do you get
through to them?
How do you plant the seed tomaybe hopefully change their
mind that things can bedifferent?
David Smith (33:43):
It's tough.
I think that you know everyperson is different.
The catalyst to flip the switchis different for each person.
We've had guys pay off a ton ofdebt and then all of a sudden
they lost a bunch of weightbecause that was their catalyst.
For me it was going throughthat program.
(34:06):
For others it could be readinga specific book and something
clicks in their head like man, Ireally should be doing what
this says.
So part of it is offering thatperspective and offering this I
guess you could say mindset, butmore of a perspective shift
(34:31):
when thinking about certainthings.
So, for example, when we'retalking about purpose, like
what's our purpose?
What's your purpose for joiningthe department?
It's probably if you're beinghonest with yourself, it's
probably not quote-unquotemaking a difference.
(34:52):
But if, yeah, sure that's apiece of it, but, like for me,
it it paid more than what I wasmaking working fast, right.
So, honestly with ourselves andbringing that perspective of, of
purpose, like, um, what's yournot only is what, what's your
(35:13):
purpose in the department,what's your purpose, uh, in your
life.
Like the job is not our purpose, like you can make a difference
anywhere, like you can helppeople and you can serve
anywhere, so why, why this job?
What is your purpose withinthis job?
And then, what's your, youroverarching purpose?
What is your purpose today?
(35:34):
One of the questions that weasked in our apogee, and I mean
it's I'm still likeuncomfortable asking this
question because in our line ofwork, like it's it's very, very
serious and we've seen theresult of it.
But if I ask somebody, whyhaven't you killed yourself
today?
If I ask somebody, why haven'tyou killed yourself today?
Let's answer that questionBecause your purpose today
(35:57):
matters.
There's a reason, everyone hasa reason, because you're
obviously not doing it.
So if we have this perspectiveshift, then over time, like it's
just going to spread and peopleare going to see leaders, you
know, leading at a higher level,and I think it's going to have
(36:20):
an impact.
Tyra Valeriano (36:21):
Yeah, I agree that's a lot of really good
information.
I 100, 1000% am so on boardwith the mindset aspect and that
comes from my own experience.
You know, I feel that being inlaw enforcement and hearing
someone tell me that you hit thenail on the head it's just,
(36:54):
it's difficult to get throughthis wall and it's going to take
a long time.
But it's better to start nowthan to not start at all.
And as long as everybody that'spart of this change or movement
continues the momentum,eventually it's going to get
somewhere.
Even if it's the smallest dent,it's going to get somewhere.
(37:16):
We're running out of time, butis there anything that you want
to share with the listeners thatyou've learned out of your
experience that you'd like toshare with them to maybe take a
piece of advice for them as theygo on in their daily lives and
career?
David Smith (37:31):
Man, there's so many things that I've been
working on, you know, the pastfew years.
It's hard to boil it down toone single thing, but I would
say that you know where itstarted for me was to recognize
that I am good enough, I do havevalue and I am worthy.
(37:52):
You know a room in my past Iwould feel like I got to prove
myself to these people.
Well, now I don't have to provemyself to anybody because I've
proved myself to myself.
I am worthy.
I'm worthy of of love.
(38:14):
I'm worthy of getting paid well, Like now.
I I don't consider myself uh,what's the right way to put it?
Um, my value that I have tooffer is way more than what the
department's paying me.
That's what I value myself at,and I'm working towards those
(38:34):
goals to make that into areality too, and I can still
accomplish my mission on thedepartment as well.
I don't have to trade my timefor dollars, working part-time.
There's a whole entrepreneurialpiece that we haven't even
spoken about that you, you kindof need that mindset shift first
(38:56):
to realize like you could, youcould do anything, and it goes
beyond just telling you knowwhat we tell our kids.
You can be anything you want,yes, that's true, but to to have
that mindset and to actuallybelieve it is.
It takes work, it takes, ittakes time and it takes effort,
more importantly.
So, doing the hard work andchoosing hard over easy is what
(39:18):
it boils down to to change thatmindset, shift to being worthy.
Tyra Valeriano (39:25):
I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that,
Even you saying that.
It reminds me of and I knowthat I'm not the only one who
felt this way but being in lawenforcement, I felt that I
deserve somebody to say, hey, Iappreciate that you did this.
And when they give thatacknowledgement to someone else
and they don't acknowledge you,you feel like you're not doing
(39:45):
enough, or maybe you're not goodenough, because why did they
get acknowledged and not you?
It can even go down as far as alife-saving award.
You know, you've saved a lot oflives.
You didn't get that award, butsomeone else did, and they did
exactly what you did right.
David Smith (40:00):
Yeah, that's happened to me.
Tyra Valeriano (40:02):
Yeah.
So you're feeling some type ofway about it and now you're
thinking that you're not enough.
Now you're upset, you're.
You know, I don't know if Iwant this job or you're just
thinking all kinds of crazythings.
But that is really good advice,because you are enough and
you're not having to prove toanybody what you're doing.
You're doing your job, that'swhat you're supposed to do, and
if you're not gettingacknowledged for it, I think
(40:22):
that's the hardest thing for alot of officers, because I went
through that, I know a lot of myfriends went through that and
just to say, hey, I'm enough,and I know that I'm doing enough
and I know I can do even more,and they're not going to pay me
my worth.
Nobody could pay me my worth,and you just have to change your
mind and believe it.
David Smith (40:41):
Yeah, that's good.
Tyra Valeriano (40:44):
Okay.
So I asked my guests this atthe end of every episode what
would you tell your rookie selfbased on everything that you
know now up until this point?
To give your rookie self advice.
David Smith (40:59):
Man, I feel like I've I've said a lot of it
already.
Um, I would tell my rookie selfthat you are worth it.
You know everything you'redoing.
Don't do it for anyone else,like do it, do it for you.
Um, it's, it's a worthy goal toto serve others and yeah, that,
(41:20):
that that's righteous and andit's great, can't keep you going
forever and in fact, you coulddo it better if you, if you
serve yourself first.
It's I mean, we've already saidit, I'm starting to circle back
being a mindset shift, but ifyou lead yourself, then that'll
(41:46):
be enough.
Tyra Valeriano (41:47):
Yeah, that's good.
Okay, David, do you have anypoints of contact that listeners
can reach out to if they wantto ask you any questions or make
contact with you?
David Smith (41:57):
Yeah, absolutely.
Probably the best source isInstagram.
It's strong underscoreinstitute underscore.
That's my professionalInstagram for my own coaching
public speaking company.
And then LinkedIn.
You can find me under my nameas well.
(42:18):
Real name common spelling Okay,David.
Tyra Valeriano (42:24):
Well, thank you so much for your time.
I appreciate you joining metoday and I think that there is
a lot of value in yourperspectives.
There's a lot of things thatare very interesting and not so
I want to say not so averagethings that people probably
haven't heard about before, andI think it's worth them looking
into, especially if it's goingto help them change their
mindset because, as we've said,that's a huge thing that nobody
talks about.
(42:45):
So I appreciate your time.
To my listeners, Thank you fortuning in.
You guys, be safe and we'll seeyou on the next one.
David Smith (42:51):
Thank you.
Tyra Valeriano (42:53):
Thank you for joining me on Chapter Blue.
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to follow and tag me on
social media and share withyour friends and fellow officers
.
If you're interested in joiningan episode, I'd love for you to
be a part of the conversation.
Until next time, stay safe,take care of yourself and
remember you're never alone inthis journey.
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