February 22, 2025 • 44 mins
What happens when a law enforcement officer confronts the demons of addiction and infidelity, and emerges with a mission to transform mental health support within the force? Listen to the compelling story of Alan Hendrickson, who, alongside his wife Amy, turned personal adversity into a pillar of hope for law enforcement officers struggling with mental health challenges and addiction. Alan and Amy open up about their personal journey, highlighting the pivotal moments that sparked their dedication to mental wellness for officers and their spouses.
Amy's support through Alan's recovery offers a realistic perspective on love, strength, and the power of a strong support system. As Alan returned to his law enforcement career, he faced obstacles due to his past. He found acceptance and a second chance with an agency who acknowledged his growth in overcoming his personal challenges. Their story is a testament to the themes of redemption and how it can have a profound impact. They discuss how openness and support can overcome personal struggles and maintain a healthier home and workplace environment.
Tune in to hear about the implications of mental wellness and support systems within law enforcement. From personal experiences that cultivate trust and mentorship to the role of spouses in policing wellness, Alan and Amy's experiences emphasize a holistic approach to mental health. They share their vision of spreading their wellness course beyond their home state of Alabama, aiming to touch lives across the nation. Listen in for valuable resources and a reminder that no one on this journey is alone. Alan and Amy continue to advocate for the mental health of officers and their families with raw, authentic, and honest transparency of some of the real struggles we all can face during our career.
Programs Mentioned:
- Axonaid.com
- Boulder Crest Foundation
Contact:
LinkedIn: Allen Hendrickson
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tyra Valeriano (00:01):
Welcome to Chapter Blue, the podcast where
we discuss the world of lawenforcement through an honest
conversation on tough orcontroversial topics, real
stories, perspectives andexperience from officers all
around the world.
Whether you're here forinsights on mental health,
self-care, work-life balance,getting into law enforcement,
getting out of law enforcement,or just trying to learn about
(00:21):
personal and professionalchallenges officers face every
day, you've come to the rightplace.
I'm your host, tyra Valeriano,and whether I'm going solo or
speaking with a guest, eachepisode will discuss different
aspects of life behind the badge.
Let's turn the page and stepinto Chapter Blue.
Welcome to another episode ofChapter Blue.
(00:42):
Today I'm speaking with Alanand Amy Hendrickson, who are
husband and wife.
I have worked alongside Alan asa law enforcement coach and I
have seen the Hendrickson'screate a remarkable resource on
mental health for lawenforcement by sharing their
story and advocating forwellness.
Alan is currently you work inAlabama, right?
Allen Hendrickson (01:02):
That's correct.
Tyra Valeriano (01:03):
Alabama.
Yes, and he is currently stillserving on the job.
I want to welcome both of youto my show and thank you for
making some time to speak withme today.
If you wouldn't mind giving thelisteners a little more on your
background story and what youguys are doing today in mental
health and wellness space.
Allen Hendrickson (01:22):
All right, so I'm Alan Hendrickson.
I joined law enforcement in2000.
I went through a bumpy careerfrom 2000 to now.
In a small nutshell, I joinedlaw enforcement at a local
agency, then joined narcoticsdivision and then kind of
started spinning out of troubleinto areas in my life I didn't
(01:43):
need to be having trouble in,but at the time I didn't
recognize it as trouble.
I recognized it as having agood time.
I began to drink a lot.
Then I began to have theinfidelity in the marriage as
time went on.
When I was able to fix that,I've been sober since August 3rd
2015, went to inpatient rehaband then when I came out of
(02:03):
rehab, I decided I'm going totry to help people.
After that, I went to peersupport training and I wanted to
do more.
So I learned how to be a coachand then I wanted to do more, so
I just kept working in thatarea of coaching and one day the
wife and I which, because of mybad decisions, we've been
married to each other threetimes she stayed faithful every
(02:24):
time, but I made bad decisions.
After rehab, we were talkingabout building a four-hour class
that we want to focus onhelping law enforcement officers
, and then what we did is webuilt a four-hour class and we
teach it together.
We teach it it starts out aboutburnout recovery and how to
maintain and then they helped'sout there for law enforcement.
(02:46):
We teach it together here inAlabama and we've taught at the
national level.
We taught at Concerns of PoliceSurvivors National Trauma and
Wellness Conference this pastyear.
We have keynote spoken atdifferent events.
Currently our class is sponsoredby Jacksonville State Center
for Best Practices in LawEnforcement College in Alabama
(03:08):
and they allow us to teach itfour times across the state of
Alabama to just anybody whowants to attend.
It is now also written into thecommand college of Jacksonville
State Center for Best Practicesfor Law Enforcement, which is a
three week school they go toand you have to be a lieutenant,
or higher law enforcement,which is a three-week school
they go to and you have to be alieutenant or higher.
(03:29):
Our course is written into that.
As time went on, we decided wewanted to keep doing more and we
now have our own website and wecontinue to teach and help.
Our focus is we don't wantofficers to go down that bad
road that I went down Me.
Amy Hendrickson (03:40):
Well, I'm the fruitcake that married him three
times?
No, but I am.
But anyways, I always say thatour story is one of heartbreak,
loss, addiction, infidelity, butit's also a story of faith,
love and for our own redemption.
(04:01):
And so a lot of people ask mewhy I would marry him three
times.
And you know, number one, withmy faith and everything, my vows
meant something to me and, yes,I had to let him go twice,
because it was that or either itwas just going to kill me, you
(04:21):
know, not him kill me, but itwas just the emotions and he had
to learn the hard way thatthat's not what he needed.
But if you don't have faith insomebody and if you don't have
faith in your marriage, you knowit's easy to let go.
And divorce is just so commonthese days, and I always say I'm
not a quitter.
(04:42):
So, and the God's honest truthis, I've never cheated on him.
So, out of those 29 years,three marriages, I've stayed
faithful.
So, and that's why we're heretoday, you know, because we got
nine grandchildren, two children, and you know we just we were
(05:03):
together with his family thisweekend and we just thought
about how lucky we were and howblessed we are, you know.
So my goal is for the spouse,and not just the spouse.
The police officer can hear myside of things and ask me
questions, and I'm there toanswer those, and so he asked me
to support him in this, andhere I am.
Tyra Valeriano (05:25):
That is awesome.
Thank you, guys for sharingthat, and I honestly love the
dynamic of having both of youhere today, because hearing the
spouse side is very important,especially on subjects that Alan
has shared with us.
A lot of officers go throughthese kinds of troubles and
maybe they haven't had theperspective of what kind of
(05:45):
support the spouse can have andeven the troubles that you've
had, you know, having to faceand deal with these things and
come back and be the strengththat you probably didn't realize
you had.
So that is, it's actuallyreally amazing to hear your
guys' story.
So I do have a lot of questionscoming from your guys'
experience together and the lawenforcement side.
(06:06):
Alan, you said that you gotinto addiction.
You started drinking and it wasfor a good time.
At what point did you realizethat hey, this is a problem and
how did you seek out that help?
Allen Hendrickson (06:20):
When I realized it was a problem is
when I had lost my job in 2015.
Amy Hendrickson (06:26):
Yeah 15.
Allen Hendrickson (06:28):
I was married to Amy and I was living with a
married dispatcher at the timeand I thought I'd, you know, I
lost everything, my job and all,and I knew Amy wouldn't hang in
there much longer.
And just one day I woke up thatmorning I said, hey, you know
what?
I don't know what I'm going todo.
So I said you know what?
(06:49):
I got a problem.
I decided to go to rehab.
So what I've done is I reachedout to a friend, made sure all
my bills were paid for a monthor so so that I wouldn't have
those issues.
Made sure they had to, you know, being able to pay them, or
they would pay them and I wouldpay them back when I got back,
whatever needed to be.
And crazy part is, I drove downto the liquor store and bought a
(07:12):
bottle of liquor my favoriteliquor and I put it in the
passenger seat and seat beltedit in.
I came over and told Amy.
I said I got a problem, I'mgoing to get help.
We talked a little bit.
I talked to her and the kidsthen drove to Warrior, alabama,
and the whole time I was lookingat that bottle and said you're
not going to control me, no more, and when I got there it's
about a four hour ride I stillhad that whole bottle.
(07:33):
They made me pour it out and Iwent into inpatient rehab at
that point.
Tyra Valeriano (07:38):
How long were you in inpatient rehab for?
Allen Hendrickson (07:43):
15, 21 days, 21, 21.
I think it was 21 days and thenI did some outpatient.
Tyra Valeriano (07:49):
Okay, what was the most difficult part for you
during that process?
Allen Hendrickson (07:54):
The most difficult part of inpatient
rehab is they control and tellyou everything to do, and for us
cops that is tough.
They tell you when to get up,they make you, you know, clean
your room, they tell you whatyou're going to eat, where your
freedom's at.
And giving up that control andletting someone else restructure
you and control you butstructure you in the right way,
(08:17):
using their control and you nothaving any say-so at all was the
toughest part, especially as alaw enforcement officer.
You know we want that.
We want to control what's goingon.
We don't want to be told 24-7what to do, and that would be
the toughest.
Tyra Valeriano (08:34):
Amy, what about for you?
What was that like when he toldyou that he needed to get help
and that he was going to do that?
How did that make you feel andwhat were you going through?
Amy Hendrickson (08:45):
to do that.
How did that make you feel andwhat were you going through?
It's just crazy that how thathappened.
That day I was going tocounseling at this this is the
Christian counseling in ourcommunity and I had told the
lady like he said he knew Amywasn't going to hang in there
much longer.
And I've told the lady I waslike I pray every day, just take
(09:06):
my love away.
I just don't want to love himanymore.
I want to just be able to geton with my life.
I wanted to get that, get thatout of me or whatever.
And she says would you everfeel the release in your heart?
And I said no, I don't.
And she said well, maybe God'snot done with y'all yet.
And I come home and it's justnot long after I get home that
(09:28):
he comes and tells me he's goingto rehab.
Of course he was still with thedispatcher at this point.
They were kind of like hidingand I guess maybe from their job
, but I wasn't the one that wasinvited in in.
He didn't go to rehab to getsober for me.
He did it for his job.
(09:48):
I believe he did it for his joband tried to get his
relationship with her backtogether.
So it was difficult to tell youthat it takes a year because
you're the chemicals and yourbody is changing because now
you've taken out this, this, thealcohol or drugs or whatever
you're addicted to that yourbody's been used to.
So he was told not to make anydecisions.
(10:09):
You know, don't get in arelationship for a year.
So really what I became was hisrock.
He tells everybody I was hisrock and he hit rock bottom.
And guess who?
He hit me because I'm on thebottom of his rock and we
started.
At first it was more likedating, like just talking and
(10:29):
then dating and he'd come overand we spend time with our
children and grandchildrentogether and then we started
going on dates and then westarted going out of town to fun
little things we never didbefore when we were married and
um, but the the rehab part washard for me.
But he called me every day andI don't know it was just.
(10:50):
It happened the way it.
It needed to happen, not justlet's get back together today.
It took us a year, two years,before we moved back in and then
a few more months after thatbefore we were remarried.
Tyra Valeriano (11:03):
So it was pretty difficult.
Amy Hendrickson (11:05):
I don't know if that answered your question,
yeah.
I know.
Tyra Valeriano (11:08):
I mean it's difficult on the spouse side and
having to see somebody you lovego through that and then feel
like you are being betrayedwhile you're trying to let go.
It's a lot of emotions, I'msure.
Alan, I know you got back intolaw enforcement, so how was that
transition and adjustment whenyou decided to go back to work?
Allen Hendrickson (11:31):
When I come back to go to law enforcement.
You know, if you get let go inan area because of problems, a
lot of times it's hard to get onthat area.
I was blessed at the time thattwo small agencies close to here
both gave me a job.
I started out on one and then Iwent to a second one and I left
the first one and I worked myway up to captain at the second
(11:53):
one and then I actually wentback to the first one, was
working two of the jobs and Idid that for a while.
Then I ended up back at thesame one where I had left for
being a captain and I worked myway back up to captain, stayed
there several years.
I tried to go to the state ofAlabama and some other bigger
agencies during that two-year,three-year frame but I was
(12:17):
rejected every time.
So at some point I finally keptapplying, kept applying, and
the chief, chief Wilbini, whereI work now at the Dothan Police
Department here in Alabama, hecalled me one day and said Alan,
you know I want to give you achance.
I know you had some problems inthe past, but how long do you
hold that against someone?
(12:37):
And there was a couple ofhiccups to get the job.
One of the things was personnel.
Because of my background didn'treally want to do it.
So I actually asked him could Igo speak to personnel?
And he said I don't care.
So I went directly to thepersonnel director, poured out
my story and said you know, youwant people to get help, but if
you never give them a chance,are they really going to get
help?
So that kind of helped there.
(12:58):
And then again, like I said,chief Wilbany said you know, hey
, we can't hold you back.
You've been doing nothing butgrowing for eight years.
How long should you be punishedfor your bad decisions?
He put me to work.
I've been there a little overtwo years and I've worked my way
up to FTO.
I'm on the negotiation team and, like I was telling you earlier
, we currently travel all overAlabama and other states and do
(13:21):
teaching and training and heallows me.
One of the things that wetalked about is not hiding what
I went through, so I can openlytalk about what I went through.
I don't have to hide sobriety,I don't have to hide any
problems.
I talk to other officers.
I don't have to hide it onsocial media, none of those kind
of things that makes it realeasy to be able to feel like
(13:43):
myself, because I'm not havingto hide from my command staff.
Hey, I had a problem, theydon't care, they want me to help
others, they know what ourmission is and they support our
mission.
Amy Hendrickson (13:53):
He allows us to be transparent, so that's good,
which is hard to find andachieve.
Tyra Valeriano (14:01):
Yeah, that's amazing that he gave you a
chance, because many officersyou know they don't have that
same kind of luck of having anagency.
Look past those decisions thatthey made in their past and you
know they may have made amistake that they have also
grown from, but they're now whatwe call blackballed right and
(14:21):
now they can't get hired at anyagency.
So that's actually really greatand it's motivating hopefully
to those who are listening thatmay be struggling with something
similar that there is hope andthat it's not always going to be
the way that we've seen it.
At least we hope that.
So you guys have went on tostart your own business and to
(14:42):
teach classes.
What is it that you guys aregiving to law enforcement
officers and agencies throughthis program that you've started
?
Allen Hendrickson (14:53):
Well before we talk about that.
One of the things that we alsodid is we want to bring as many
avenues for assistance and helpwhatever you want to call it in
the mental wellness area to lawenforcement officers and make
them aware of it.
So we made sure, prior to allof this, that people knew about
Axon Aid, which is a free.
You can go to Axon Aid and haveall kinds of things on there
(15:15):
about getting mental wellnesshelp and training.
Another thing that we didduring this process is we
attended a class in Florida it'scalled Struggle Well, through
the Boulder Crest Foundation.
Are you familiar with theBoulder Crest Foundation?
Tyra Valeriano (15:28):
I am not Tell me about it.
Allen Hendrickson (15:31):
So Boulder Crest is in 19 states and it
started out for military and nowfirst responders can go and it
teaches you post-traumaticgrowth and it's called, like I
said, boldcrest foundation.
Um, we went to a class inflorida and I reached out to
them and said hey, you know, I'dlove to have this in alabama.
There it costs nothing to hosttheir class.
You just haven't had to have anentity that will be the
(15:53):
operator of the system and bethe easy way to say it, in other
words, jacksonville State.
I reached out to them and said,hey, I'd love to have this
program.
I told them what it was.
We all had a meeting.
Jacksonville State is our hubfor the training, and so what we
did now is we've been able tobring Struggle Well training to
all law enforcement officers inthe state of Alabama through
working with Jacksonville State,working with Boulder Crest, and
(16:21):
we're currently in the processof six of us being trained as
struggle well guides.
So recently we did a very firststruggle well class in Alabama.
So now Alabama is the 19thstate.
So by working hard, you canbring other programs.
That's what we want to show.
Not only are we trying to pushour program, but other good
programs that are out there.
We brought that program througha lot of support.
Tyra Valeriano (16:43):
That's great.
I was actually going to ask youhow this has manifested into
the mental health and wellnessside of law enforcement, because
, since I've worked with you,alongside you, with law
enforcement coaching, that'sgoing to be the main aspect of
why we did coaching and it's apassion that we have.
There's obviously for you, apersonal reason why you have
(17:04):
taken this route, amy.
For you, what is this taughtyou on the spouse side, now that
you've taken this new projecton with your husband?
Amy Hendrickson (17:18):
Well, I do think it's a little different,
which I've always been.
I'm not the kind of wife thatgets frustrated with not him not
.
You know, I understand it's hisjob and it's the way we live.
You know that's our money orwhatever.
But I have.
I recognize um is that the wordlike I can recognize.
(17:40):
I have to give you an example.
Um, he was in like a high speedchase and so he, he goes and
eats lunch with me and my mom'swhen he works, because I work
close to my mother and I eatwith her every day.
So he, he comes in, he'stelling me about this high speed
chase and, um, he told me hegot up to like 120, 150.
(18:01):
And you know the wife in me islike, and that I could tell he
was just like.
I said, do you need to like,call somebody like?
You know like a coach or mentoror something?
And so I recognize those thingsin him.
And I also know like we talk alittle bit through the day.
You know I don't have to be, wedon't have to talk every few
(18:23):
minutes, but if something majorhappens he may not can tell me
the details, but he'll call meand said I've just had a DCPR on
a baby and it died small babyand it died.
That night I cooked him hisfavorite supper it was ready
when he came home because I knewhe's gonna be stressed and so
I've just learned to um to backoff, to be there when he needs
(18:48):
me, to back off when he needsyou know, he comes in and he's
in his uniform he's stillOfficer Allen, but when he takes
off that uniform then he comesby Allen, you know.
So mental wellness I have seenhis Allen.
He's not only did a lot of thepeer support and all that.
Anything he can read, anythinghe can go to, he does it.
(19:11):
And I have pre-rehab Allen lawenforcement officer to now.
The calmness in him, mentalwellness, is so important and I
really believe it's reallyimportant in law enforcement.
I have noticed that he rarelygets in a call where he gets
(19:34):
into a fight with someone.
It gets to a point where itcould go ugly because he's calm
and home life is good.
And he's got all this.
You know compartmentalize it, Iguess, and it's made a big
difference on that note, whichis good for me and I have
(19:56):
learned to back off.
But then he also knows when hey, I don't need to do overtime, I
need to spend time with my wifetonight.
Allen Hendrickson (20:04):
And one of the things to add to that, tara,
would be that, you know, duringthe training, if we're talking
about recruitment and retention,a healthy officer is going to
be happy.
They're not telling peopledon't come to work at Dothan PD
because they're mad aboutsomething that ain't got nothing
to do with Dothan PD.
Just today at lunch one of thelocal sheriffs was in the
(20:33):
restaurant eating and he had twoof his deputies with him.
I'm sitting there trying torecruit his deputies while we're
eating, you know, and he's likestop, you know, y'all have
already got a few of mine,you're something else.
And so if I'm happy, I'm goingto actively recruit.
But if I'm, you know, in a badspot, then I'm going to tell
don't come here because thecommand's this, the pay's this,
when it has nothing to do withthat.
On a deeper effect of mentalwellness, if I'm a field
(20:54):
training officer, like I am now,if I'm in there and I'm all ill
with that brand new personbecause I'm having an affair and
I'm high or my finances arewrecked and I'm just upset with
that stuff, I'm pushing that offon that new recruit which is
now going to hurt them If I pullthis person over for speeding
and they go all off on me andI've got a bad attitude because
(21:16):
of personal things.
I'm going to go all off Again.
And I've got a bad attitudebecause of personal things, I'm
going to go all off Again.
I had the other day I hadsomeone pull him over.
He was going just all the wayoff.
As I'm going back to my car hesaid hey, by the way, I didn't
have my seatbelt on either.
I'm like all right, so I goback there and I write him his
warnings and I come back and hejust could not believe he got
warnings.
I mean, he was just as ugly ashe could be.
(21:36):
But guess what, like I told him, he does not dictate whether or
not I'm going to write a ticket.
He does not dictate my attitude.
I'm sorry you're having a badday but you're not going to
change mine.
But back in the day I'd havebeen like here's you some
tickets, here's you know so itall changes.
Tyra Valeriano (21:59):
Yeah, you know that's actually a conversation
that I had with someone else nottoo long ago is that you, an
agency, really shouldn't haveany issues with recruiting when
the cup is overflowing from theinside, so when you're taking
care of your people and you havethe resources that they need to
be successful, to be happy toeven down to having resources
for mental health, because a lotof the troubles that people are
(22:21):
facing are around wellness andit doesn't necessarily have to
be, you know, a stress relatedcall or something that they
responded to.
It can be home life, it can befinances, it can be all of the
things that are not work related, but there's no resources out
there.
So if the cup is not full andoverflowing, just like you said,
(22:41):
it's going to be in theopposite direction you still
full and overflowing, but withnegativity, and that'll just
seep on into the new recruitsand that just aura or that vibe,
just continues on within theagency and it's really hard to
reverse that once it started.
Allen Hendrickson (23:02):
I feel like we have a good healthy
department.
I feel like our command pusheswellness.
We're 217 is what we allottedfor and we just got some of
those slots allotted to us backin October and we're down less
than 10 people and we have nofull-time recruiter.
(23:22):
Wow, that's great, we have arecruitment group that goes
around sometimes but we havenobody.
That is solely what they do,and we're only down, like I said
, less than 10.
But October 1, they gave usfive or six slots, I think it
was, so that made us be a littleshorter.
So, even at 217, to be 10 orless, and since I've been there
we've kind of stayed 10 or less.
(23:44):
You've got some that makedecisions.
They have to go, so that numberis going to float soon.
So, again, to be as big as weare and no recruiter, full-time
recruiter, it speaks volume forthe agency itself and the
leadership.
Tyra Valeriano (24:00):
Yeah, that's great.
So I have a question.
Now that you're an FTO, I'msure you share your story with
new recruits.
You probably tell them I canonly assume that maybe you tell
them you know, don't go down thebad path, Don't do this, Don't
do that.
This is what could result fromthose decisions.
What is their reaction to someof the suggestions or guidance
(24:22):
that you give them based on yourstory?
Allen Hendrickson (24:26):
So what?
I open up with my new ones thatthey give me.
It's just like when I anexample, when I was captain,
when I brought someone in tohire them, I went ahead and told
them my whole backstory.
That way they couldn't go overhere to this agency and say, hey
, yeah, I talked to CaptainHenderson.
Let me tell you what CaptainHenderson done before.
Well, wait a minute, that ain'twhat he said.
You left this out.
So I go ahead and nip all thatin the bud so they know
(24:47):
everything about my background.
And then, as I'm coaching themto become an officer, as I see
things, I coach them and I askquestions.
So I don't really get on tothem.
I'm more of okay, I know that'sa problem, so I'm going to
coach them out of it.
I'm going to dive into it andmentor them in a better
direction.
It also gets them to be veryopen with me when I'm training,
(25:11):
and so we are able to have abetter relationship.
One of the things that we'vebeen doing is I go to Amy's
mom's to eat lunch, so the newrecruit gets the option of going
there or we'll go out to eat.
So far they've all wanted to gothere.
So that opens it up more,because most FTOs ain't going to
take people to their family'shouse and have lunch.
That gives us a few moreminutes to bond from the day,
(25:32):
talk about the day outside, notbe in the car, and then we go
back and complete our assignment.
You know our shift.
Tyra Valeriano (25:39):
Now that you're pretty much into this wellness
space with Alan on the spouseside, what are you doing?
Do you do anything with otherspouses?
Or maybe if officers might cometo you guys with some issues
for marital problems or maybeeven drinking problems, any
problem that they may have howis it that you step in for the
(26:00):
spouse side?
Amy Hendrickson (26:04):
I haven't had very many to come to me, but we
are going to develop.
I am going to develop a programthat will run with our other
ones.
That would be just for spouses.
So we were at the COPS whatwould you call that thing?
We were at.
Allen Hendrickson (26:22):
We did two classes at the COPS the Concerns
of Police Survival NationalTrauma and Wellness Conference
in Orlando last year In Augustwe did two classes at the cops
the concerns of police of ournational trauma and wellness
conference in.
Amy Hendrickson (26:28):
Orlando last year In August.
Allen Hendrickson (26:31):
And so Breakout session.
Amy Hendrickson (26:33):
We had done a breakout session and Not that
day but like the next day, wewere at this, this large party,
this, the last party of thenight or whatever, and it was
like Dinner and all that stuff.
And this, this young couplecomes up and she wants to talk
to me.
She takes me off to the sideand, um, I just I just listen
(26:58):
and then I give the best advicethat I can for whatever
situation and then, if I have to, if it's something that I can
truly relate to that happened tome, I will give examples of
what you know and I'll tell them.
You know, here's my phonenumber.
Call me if you want to.
We haven't heard from thatlittle couple because the guy
took him off to the side.
(27:23):
But in class I get asked a lot.
In class I get asked a lot whenI was coaching.
More often I haven't got anyspouses in the coaching, it's
always been officers.
One of them asked me how muchshould I tell my spouse?
That's what he wanted to know.
I said that's a conversationy'all need to have.
(27:46):
I said me and Alan knows whathe can tell me.
I love true crime and stuffsaid that's a conversation y'all
need to have.
I said me and Alan knows whathe can tell me um, which I'm.
I love true crime and stufflike that, so nothing really
grosses me out.
I'm pretty open but, um, and Iknow when to worry about him,
when not to.
But I'm also been, we've beendoing this for 25 years, so you
know, um, but I'm open totalking to spouses and being
(28:10):
there for a man, woman, whatever, husband, wife.
Allen Hendrickson (28:14):
So after that what she was talking about
there that day.
That night the husband pulledme out and she went out with the
spouse and we spent about anhour with each one of them.
Amy Hendrickson (28:23):
They were really young.
Allen Hendrickson (28:24):
Really young.
They had attended our class theday before.
They were scheduled to gosomewhere else a different class
after our class, but instead wefound out during our
conversation they chose to goback to their room and talk
about.
They spent the rest of the dayin their room talking about our
class, how they related and howthey can work on things, and
then the next night you know,they just happened to come up to
(28:45):
us and we spend about an hourwith them At the end of every
class.
What we do is we make sure theyhave my information as well as
Amy's, and they feel free tocall us and there's no questions
asked.
We're not even going to ask youwhere you're at.
You call and say hey, I was inone of your classes, I need to
talk to you.
Okay, what do you need to talkabout?
We're not asking what agencyyou're at, what part of the
state you're in or what state.
(29:06):
We don't care.
If you want to tell us thatpart, then you can.
So we make sure it's availablefor that and I think that's
where we're headed.
And, like Amy said, she'sworking on a two-hour class for
spouses only, where she's goingto teach about how to, you know,
wind down when I came home, andwhen I tell her there was a
problem at work, she sets thehouse to make me feel
(29:27):
comfortable because she knows Ihad a bad day.
So when I come in I'm nowgetting comfortable and then we
talk a little.
So those are the kind of thingswe're teaching in the class.
Amy Hendrickson (29:37):
You have to learn and it comes with time.
Young couples don't reallyunderstand, but you have to
learn when not to push them andlike.
One very important thing is trynot to call them during their
shift and argue with them,because you know I could get off
that phone with him fussing himout about something and he
(29:58):
could have a wreck or shoot outor you know, you just never know
.
So you want to keep their mindcalm down there 12 hours because
he sees things that during hiswork hour I don't see Deals with
people that are very volatile.
You know that.
I don't know.
I'm in property management, sosometimes our tenants are
(30:19):
volatile.
But the thing about this mentalwellness is when Alan first got
into law enforcement, maybe evenfive years ago, I would say it
wasn't cool to have mentalproblems or talk about your
marriage problems or yourdrinking problems.
And if you did, you felt likeyou were going to get dinged or
(30:43):
talked about really bad in thedepartment dinged or talked
about really bad in thedepartment.
And I just think it's reallyimportant that, if you know, we
want these officers to go outand do their job and do it well
and not have like a George Floydor remake or whatever.
So we need their mentalwellness, and their mental
health is very important.
I'm glad you touched on that?
Tyra Valeriano (31:05):
Yeah, I'm glad you touched on that because I
feel that there are a lot ofspouses who still may not
understand that concept and, youknow, maybe they see on the
news that there was an officerwho died in the line of duty.
They had a wife, they had achild, feel a certain way and be
(31:27):
like, oh you know, I need totake this into consideration.
But at what point in his careerdid you realize, hey, I don't
need to do this because there isa reality there that something
could go wrong?
And when did you realize thatyou could just give him the
peace when he's at work and notgive him a hard time, and know
that that was going to help him?
Amy Hendrickson (31:45):
Yeah, I think, like coming into the marriage
again, like I said, with growth,you know, because I feel like
I'm married to somebody totallydifferent this time.
I mean it's just crazy, it'sjust different person.
Before mental health readingall that stuff, no, but I think
like when, maybe when we firststarted talking again and then
(32:09):
got you know, when we first gotmarried, I would call and if I
was fussy with him I could tellyou know how it bothered him and
so it just cuts with growth too.
They just know that this is animportant job.
And then when the um, a lot ofit just made me so angry when
(32:31):
the world's decided to turnagainst law enforcement officers
, you know, and I don't think,um, a lot of people realize what
they face.
I mean, you go how scary it isto pull over a car and and walk
up to it.
You know, um, we were going toone of our friends, uh, had a
(32:53):
tragic accident.
His brother had a tragicaccident and we were trying to
get to.
He was an officer, uh, friendof Allen's.
We was trying to get to him and, uh, we got pulled over and
when the officer come up to theside I could tell you was scared
.
He came up to my side notalan's and you don't know what
you're gonna face in that car,what's gonna you know?
(33:13):
So I guess, just seeing theworld turn against police
officers and just knowing thatmy attitude affects his attitude
, and it just took growth.
Allen Hendrickson (33:32):
And I would add to that, tara, that I think
some of that is like she spokeon earlier when you start having
these big incidents and youstart seeing the turn and you
start thinking you know what,you know what if that officer
that was involved in whateverthat big incident is because if
I'm not there I'm not going to,you know, I'm not going to
quarterback it.
So if you have a big incidentand then you start wondering,
hey, what mindset was thatofficer in?
Was they mad at home?
(33:54):
Was that why they were stressed?
And I think we start talkingabout things like that and could
that affect somebody's use offorce?
And 100% it can.
So that's when we kind ofstarted working on that and
integrating it because we canshow with data that using like a
coaching program, a good mentalwellness program, not only
recruitment retention use offorce is down, sick time is down
(34:16):
, people are using theirvacations.
So all of it compiled togetheris supported by true data.
And a part of that that can beshowed is you know you take
someone, that you take a squadand you have three officers on
that squad that seem to have alot of taser deployments and
then you got a couple that's nothad any in two years.
(34:36):
That's been in the same kind ofcalls.
Why is that?
This group has got taserdeployments, this group don't.
If you take a deep dive, thisgroup just really using the
taser deployments over here.
They're not de-escalating,they're not trying to.
They're they're letting offstress and anger a lot of times
and if you deep dive into theirpersonal life, it is a uh, you
(34:56):
know it's a wreck usually.
So when you got a high usage ofsick time it's all data driven.
Tyra Valeriano (35:02):
So that actually brings.
It kind of sheds light on theimportance of spouses being
involved in wellness trainingtoo, because it's not very
common that you hear about aprofession or a job where the
spouse should be included in anytype of training when they're
not the employee right right.
(35:27):
But in this situation that youguys are describing, it actually
shows why it's important thatmaybe police spouses or first
responder spouses should beinvolved in some kind of
training, because it does matter.
And you know, I know when Istarted my relationship with my
husband, he didn't reallyunderstand the concept of you
don't know the stress that I gothrough at work.
So please don't argue with meduring my shift or before I go
(35:47):
to work, because it sets my dayfor a 12 hour shift.
And there's probably a lot ofspouses out there that feel the
same.
They just don't understand.
Allen Hendrickson (35:56):
And speaking of spouses, one thing we are
blessed with the four hourcourse that we put on all over
Alabama and anywhere else.
Spouses are always invited.
They can come Well, are youguys?
Tyra Valeriano (36:08):
are you guys looking at doing stuff outside
of Alabama?
Allen Hendrickson (36:12):
We are currently in talking with
different agencies, some inGeorgia, florida and Texas.
What they're doing is lookingat we've given some quotes on
what it would cost for it tocome out.
We keep our costs where it'snot killing an agency to bring
us out and basically they bringus out and we open the floor If
they pay the fee and they wantto open it up to other agencies,
(36:34):
they can.
So we have been contacted byother states.
We're just waiting to see asfar as price, because when you
start talking you know to go toTexas or go to California, you
know we got to fly so we got topay for all that, but we keep it
relatively.
I call it very cost efficientand so we are looking at other
(36:55):
states.
Currently it's just waiting tosee if they can do budget
approvals and things like that.
Amy Hendrickson (37:00):
I could get an RV.
Allen Hendrickson (37:02):
I'm not riding around with you all day
in an RV.
I done told her she's better atit, right, because I'm not
marrying around with you all dayin the RV.
I done told her she's better atrock because I'm not marrying
her four times.
Amy Hendrickson (37:11):
Look, I have a philosophy.
When it comes to us, it's threestrikes, you're out, or three
times the charm.
Tyra Valeriano (37:16):
So there you go, alan.
I wanted to go back to theaddiction side of things.
For officers who may bestruggling with any type of
addiction, how is your journeynow?
Is it something that is still astruggle?
Is it something that you stillhave to remind yourself of what
you've been through and to notgo that route again?
(37:38):
Have you experienced that atall now that you've been in
recovery?
Allen Hendrickson (37:43):
No, I haven't had any issues with it.
Amy Hendrickson (37:45):
He's a champ when it comes to this.
Allen Hendrickson (37:47):
I guess the problem is I just set my mind on
it and I didn't do it.
I'm not going to do it.
I'm not going back down thatroad.
It's not destroying me againand I'm helping not to and I'm
not going to.
There is times that we go andwe may have to attend a birthday
party and there's alcohol.
Or in some of our priorbusiness engagements we
sponsored the, not out for thealcohol, you know the, whatever
(38:11):
you want to call it different atthe conference you know when
you have your hospitality night,and there was one not long ago
where we sponsored thehospitality night and myself and
another recovering alcoholicwere actually the ones pouring
alcohol for them.
So another recovering alcoholicwere actually the ones pouring
alcohol for him.
Amy Hendrickson (38:30):
So you know, we don't have a problem with it.
Allen Hendrickson (38:31):
Again, one is .
I just had to set the mind thatit is everywhere.
The first thing you do when yougo to a restaurant.
They say, hey, the drink of theday is this, and I'm like I
don't drink, so anyway, and Idon't drink.
Amy Hendrickson (38:43):
So again.
Allen Hendrickson (38:44):
we just set that tone and then I talk to
people about it because you knowyou don't have to have there's
so many addictions out there.
When you start talking aboutaddictions and to help people
with it, how do you get awayfrom it?
A lot of times, you know.
That's why we named our classBreak the Cycle.
We go back to what we know,whether it's alcohol, it's porn,
(39:04):
it's infidelity, whatever it isthat we've seen as a child, we
go to it as an adult and that'swhy we named it Break the Cycle.
My family was all kinds of intodrugs, infidelity, things like
that.
Amy's family didn't.
They went to church.
So we take the two sides andput them together and show you
the difference.
You know, I went to what I knew, which was the infidelity of
(39:33):
alcohol.
She went to what she knows,which is the Bible and God, and
she would her faith.
Tyra Valeriano (39:37):
So we take all that time together in a class,
even when you're talking aboutaddictions.
That's great.
We are running out of time.
But I have a question that I'msure you may know or not know,
and it is what you would tellyour rookie self, based on the
experience that you've had inlaw enforcement.
Allen Hendrickson (39:52):
I would tell my rookie self to really make
sure I had a focus on mentalwellness.
We do so much trainingeverywhere else but we do very
little mental wellness.
We can run 10 miles, but if ourbrain ain't functioning right
and fueled right, it's not goingto work.
(40:13):
Good it's, you know, we mightcan run that 10 miles, but all
these other decisions areproblems.
So I would tell myself to focuson mental wellness.
Tyra Valeriano (40:21):
That's good, Amy .
I don't normally have a spouseon my show, but because you are
here, I would like your input onwhat kind of advice would you
like to give to the listeners iftheir spouse is out there
listening today?
Amy Hendrickson (40:34):
Basically, just listen to your spouse, your law
enforcement officer.
You have the conversation abouthow much you want to be
included.
I think him being able to talkto me about things that weigh
heavy on his mind, about a callor whatever, um, and being able
to trust that it stays betweenus and I don't go run my mouth
(40:57):
um, so giving you know, gettingsomebody that they can trust,
because it's hard for for themto trust because they see so so
much in the world.
You know what I'm saying.
So we need to be the personthat and it's a lot on a on a
spouse it is you take a lot in,but, um, I think it's, it's
(41:19):
worth it in the long run.
It is for me.
But I would just say justlisten, be somebody they can
trust.
Um, if the weather's bad andthey have to stay out all night,
put your big girl panties onand just, you know, get your
flashlight.
Don't, don't stress them outand make them worry that you,
you know, don't call them crying.
I'm scared, call mama.
Tyra Valeriano (41:43):
Well, that's great advice.
Allen Hendrickson (41:44):
Thank you for that.
Tyra Valeriano (41:46):
I know you guys have a website up and running
now.
Would you guys mind sharingthat with the listeners in case
they want to check out what youguys are up to?
Allen Hendrickson (41:54):
It's alanhendricksoncom.
All one word.
Tyra Valeriano (41:57):
He didn't put my name in it so can they sign up
with you or contact you viaemail on your website?
Allen Hendrickson (42:08):
Yes, the website has different sections
that you can go to.
You can see the events we'redoing.
You can book an appointmentwith us.
We are now rolling out someonline classes and coming in the
near future there will bedifferent tabs.
Currently, the tabs that are inworks that will be up and
running soon are resource tab,where you'll be able to go to
and find different resources.
(42:28):
There is a speaker tab coming.
There is a podcast tab comingwhere we will share certain
people's podcasts in there.
So those kind of things arecoming.
Right now, the event tab isactive.
The book online is active.
The event is active and theothers are currently being fixed
.
You know, constructed.
Amy Hendrickson (42:48):
He's playing with it.
Still, my information will beon the website as well, and I
welcome any spouse or officerthat has a question.
You know that they may want toask me.
Tyra Valeriano (43:01):
Sounds good.
Thank you, amy, and thank you,alan for joining me today.
I appreciate your guys' insightfor sharing your story, for
being so open and giving youradvice to listeners, officers,
first responders.
I think your message is reallyimportant and, like I said at
the beginning, mental health andwellness is something that I
know we both share in common andI think it's an important wall
(43:25):
to break down.
It's going to take a lot moreeffort as we continue forward.
It's been a journey, I'm sure,for both of us, but I appreciate
your guys' work and effort sofar and I really look forward to
seeing what you guys have instore for 2025.
For the listeners that arelistening today, thank you for
joining and we will see you onthe next one.
Thank you for joining me onChapter Blue.
(43:46):
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to follow and tag me on
social media and share withyour friends and fellow officers
.
If you're interested in joiningan episode, I'd love for you to
be a part of the conversation.
Until next time, stay safe,take care of yourself and
remember you're never alone inthis journey.
Welcome to Chapter Blue, the podcast where
we discuss the world of lawenforcement through an honest
conversation on tough orcontroversial topics, real
stories, perspectives andexperience from officers all
around the world.
Whether you're here forinsights on mental health,
self-care, work-life balance,getting into law enforcement,
getting out of law enforcement,or just trying to learn about
(00:21):
personal and professionalchallenges officers face every
day, you've come to the rightplace.
I'm your host, tyra Valeriano,and whether I'm going solo or
speaking with a guest, eachepisode will discuss different
aspects of life behind the badge.
Let's turn the page and stepinto Chapter Blue.
Welcome to another episode ofChapter Blue.
(00:42):
Today I'm speaking with Alanand Amy Hendrickson, who are
husband and wife.
I have worked alongside Alan asa law enforcement coach and I
have seen the Hendrickson'screate a remarkable resource on
mental health for lawenforcement by sharing their
story and advocating forwellness.
Alan is currently you work inAlabama, right?
Allen Hendrickson (01:02):
That's correct.
Tyra Valeriano (01:03):
Alabama.
Yes, and he is currently stillserving on the job.
I want to welcome both of youto my show and thank you for
making some time to speak withme today.
If you wouldn't mind giving thelisteners a little more on your
background story and what youguys are doing today in mental
health and wellness space.
Allen Hendrickson (01:22):
All right, so I'm Alan Hendrickson.
I joined law enforcement in2000.
I went through a bumpy careerfrom 2000 to now.
In a small nutshell, I joinedlaw enforcement at a local
agency, then joined narcoticsdivision and then kind of
started spinning out of troubleinto areas in my life I didn't
(01:43):
need to be having trouble in,but at the time I didn't
recognize it as trouble.
I recognized it as having agood time.
I began to drink a lot.
Then I began to have theinfidelity in the marriage as
time went on.
When I was able to fix that,I've been sober since August 3rd
2015, went to inpatient rehaband then when I came out of
(02:03):
rehab, I decided I'm going totry to help people.
After that, I went to peersupport training and I wanted to
do more.
So I learned how to be a coachand then I wanted to do more, so
I just kept working in thatarea of coaching and one day the
wife and I which, because of mybad decisions, we've been
married to each other threetimes she stayed faithful every
(02:24):
time, but I made bad decisions.
After rehab, we were talkingabout building a four-hour class
that we want to focus onhelping law enforcement officers
, and then what we did is webuilt a four-hour class and we
teach it together.
We teach it it starts out aboutburnout recovery and how to
maintain and then they helped'sout there for law enforcement.
(02:46):
We teach it together here inAlabama and we've taught at the
national level.
We taught at Concerns of PoliceSurvivors National Trauma and
Wellness Conference this pastyear.
We have keynote spoken atdifferent events.
Currently our class is sponsoredby Jacksonville State Center
for Best Practices in LawEnforcement College in Alabama
(03:08):
and they allow us to teach itfour times across the state of
Alabama to just anybody whowants to attend.
It is now also written into thecommand college of Jacksonville
State Center for Best Practicesfor Law Enforcement, which is a
three week school they go toand you have to be a lieutenant,
or higher law enforcement,which is a three-week school
they go to and you have to be alieutenant or higher.
(03:29):
Our course is written into that.
As time went on, we decided wewanted to keep doing more and we
now have our own website and wecontinue to teach and help.
Our focus is we don't wantofficers to go down that bad
road that I went down Me.
Amy Hendrickson (03:40):
Well, I'm the fruitcake that married him three
times?
No, but I am.
But anyways, I always say thatour story is one of heartbreak,
loss, addiction, infidelity, butit's also a story of faith,
love and for our own redemption.
(04:01):
And so a lot of people ask mewhy I would marry him three
times.
And you know, number one, withmy faith and everything, my vows
meant something to me and, yes,I had to let him go twice,
because it was that or either itwas just going to kill me, you
(04:21):
know, not him kill me, but itwas just the emotions and he had
to learn the hard way thatthat's not what he needed.
But if you don't have faith insomebody and if you don't have
faith in your marriage, you knowit's easy to let go.
And divorce is just so commonthese days, and I always say I'm
not a quitter.
(04:42):
So, and the God's honest truthis, I've never cheated on him.
So, out of those 29 years,three marriages, I've stayed
faithful.
So, and that's why we're heretoday, you know, because we got
nine grandchildren, two children, and you know we just we were
(05:03):
together with his family thisweekend and we just thought
about how lucky we were and howblessed we are, you know.
So my goal is for the spouse,and not just the spouse.
The police officer can hear myside of things and ask me
questions, and I'm there toanswer those, and so he asked me
to support him in this, andhere I am.
Tyra Valeriano (05:25):
That is awesome.
Thank you, guys for sharingthat, and I honestly love the
dynamic of having both of youhere today, because hearing the
spouse side is very important,especially on subjects that Alan
has shared with us.
A lot of officers go throughthese kinds of troubles and
maybe they haven't had theperspective of what kind of
(05:45):
support the spouse can have andeven the troubles that you've
had, you know, having to faceand deal with these things and
come back and be the strengththat you probably didn't realize
you had.
So that is, it's actuallyreally amazing to hear your
guys' story.
So I do have a lot of questionscoming from your guys'
experience together and the lawenforcement side.
(06:06):
Alan, you said that you gotinto addiction.
You started drinking and it wasfor a good time.
At what point did you realizethat hey, this is a problem and
how did you seek out that help?
Allen Hendrickson (06:20):
When I realized it was a problem is
when I had lost my job in 2015.
Amy Hendrickson (06:26):
Yeah 15.
Allen Hendrickson (06:28):
I was married to Amy and I was living with a
married dispatcher at the timeand I thought I'd, you know, I
lost everything, my job and all,and I knew Amy wouldn't hang in
there much longer.
And just one day I woke up thatmorning I said, hey, you know
what?
I don't know what I'm going todo.
So I said you know what?
(06:49):
I got a problem.
I decided to go to rehab.
So what I've done is I reachedout to a friend, made sure all
my bills were paid for a monthor so so that I wouldn't have
those issues.
Made sure they had to, you know, being able to pay them, or
they would pay them and I wouldpay them back when I got back,
whatever needed to be.
And crazy part is, I drove downto the liquor store and bought a
(07:12):
bottle of liquor my favoriteliquor and I put it in the
passenger seat and seat beltedit in.
I came over and told Amy.
I said I got a problem, I'mgoing to get help.
We talked a little bit.
I talked to her and the kidsthen drove to Warrior, alabama,
and the whole time I was lookingat that bottle and said you're
not going to control me, no more, and when I got there it's
about a four hour ride I stillhad that whole bottle.
(07:33):
They made me pour it out and Iwent into inpatient rehab at
that point.
Tyra Valeriano (07:38):
How long were you in inpatient rehab for?
Allen Hendrickson (07:43):
15, 21 days, 21, 21.
I think it was 21 days and thenI did some outpatient.
Tyra Valeriano (07:49):
Okay, what was the most difficult part for you
during that process?
Allen Hendrickson (07:54):
The most difficult part of inpatient
rehab is they control and tellyou everything to do, and for us
cops that is tough.
They tell you when to get up,they make you, you know, clean
your room, they tell you whatyou're going to eat, where your
freedom's at.
And giving up that control andletting someone else restructure
you and control you butstructure you in the right way,
(08:17):
using their control and you nothaving any say-so at all was the
toughest part, especially as alaw enforcement officer.
You know we want that.
We want to control what's goingon.
We don't want to be told 24-7what to do, and that would be
the toughest.
Tyra Valeriano (08:34):
Amy, what about for you?
What was that like when he toldyou that he needed to get help
and that he was going to do that?
How did that make you feel andwhat were you going through?
Amy Hendrickson (08:45):
to do that.
How did that make you feel andwhat were you going through?
It's just crazy that how thathappened.
That day I was going tocounseling at this this is the
Christian counseling in ourcommunity and I had told the
lady like he said he knew Amywasn't going to hang in there
much longer.
And I've told the lady I waslike I pray every day, just take
(09:06):
my love away.
I just don't want to love himanymore.
I want to just be able to geton with my life.
I wanted to get that, get thatout of me or whatever.
And she says would you everfeel the release in your heart?
And I said no, I don't.
And she said well, maybe God'snot done with y'all yet.
And I come home and it's justnot long after I get home that
(09:28):
he comes and tells me he's goingto rehab.
Of course he was still with thedispatcher at this point.
They were kind of like hidingand I guess maybe from their job
, but I wasn't the one that wasinvited in in.
He didn't go to rehab to getsober for me.
He did it for his job.
(09:48):
I believe he did it for his joband tried to get his
relationship with her backtogether.
So it was difficult to tell youthat it takes a year because
you're the chemicals and yourbody is changing because now
you've taken out this, this, thealcohol or drugs or whatever
you're addicted to that yourbody's been used to.
So he was told not to make anydecisions.
(10:09):
You know, don't get in arelationship for a year.
So really what I became was hisrock.
He tells everybody I was hisrock and he hit rock bottom.
And guess who?
He hit me because I'm on thebottom of his rock and we
started.
At first it was more likedating, like just talking and
(10:29):
then dating and he'd come overand we spend time with our
children and grandchildrentogether and then we started
going on dates and then westarted going out of town to fun
little things we never didbefore when we were married and
um, but the the rehab part washard for me.
But he called me every day andI don't know it was just.
(10:50):
It happened the way it.
It needed to happen, not justlet's get back together today.
It took us a year, two years,before we moved back in and then
a few more months after thatbefore we were remarried.
Tyra Valeriano (11:03):
So it was pretty difficult.
Amy Hendrickson (11:05):
I don't know if that answered your question,
yeah.
I know.
Tyra Valeriano (11:08):
I mean it's difficult on the spouse side and
having to see somebody you lovego through that and then feel
like you are being betrayedwhile you're trying to let go.
It's a lot of emotions, I'msure.
Alan, I know you got back intolaw enforcement, so how was that
transition and adjustment whenyou decided to go back to work?
Allen Hendrickson (11:31):
When I come back to go to law enforcement.
You know, if you get let go inan area because of problems, a
lot of times it's hard to get onthat area.
I was blessed at the time thattwo small agencies close to here
both gave me a job.
I started out on one and then Iwent to a second one and I left
the first one and I worked myway up to captain at the second
(11:53):
one and then I actually wentback to the first one, was
working two of the jobs and Idid that for a while.
Then I ended up back at thesame one where I had left for
being a captain and I worked myway back up to captain, stayed
there several years.
I tried to go to the state ofAlabama and some other bigger
agencies during that two-year,three-year frame but I was
(12:17):
rejected every time.
So at some point I finally keptapplying, kept applying, and
the chief, chief Wilbini, whereI work now at the Dothan Police
Department here in Alabama, hecalled me one day and said Alan,
you know I want to give you achance.
I know you had some problems inthe past, but how long do you
hold that against someone?
(12:37):
And there was a couple ofhiccups to get the job.
One of the things was personnel.
Because of my background didn'treally want to do it.
So I actually asked him could Igo speak to personnel?
And he said I don't care.
So I went directly to thepersonnel director, poured out
my story and said you know, youwant people to get help, but if
you never give them a chance,are they really going to get
help?
So that kind of helped there.
(12:58):
And then again, like I said,chief Wilbany said you know, hey
, we can't hold you back.
You've been doing nothing butgrowing for eight years.
How long should you be punishedfor your bad decisions?
He put me to work.
I've been there a little overtwo years and I've worked my way
up to FTO.
I'm on the negotiation team and, like I was telling you earlier
, we currently travel all overAlabama and other states and do
(13:21):
teaching and training and heallows me.
One of the things that wetalked about is not hiding what
I went through, so I can openlytalk about what I went through.
I don't have to hide sobriety,I don't have to hide any
problems.
I talk to other officers.
I don't have to hide it onsocial media, none of those kind
of things that makes it realeasy to be able to feel like
(13:43):
myself, because I'm not havingto hide from my command staff.
Hey, I had a problem, theydon't care, they want me to help
others, they know what ourmission is and they support our
mission.
Amy Hendrickson (13:53):
He allows us to be transparent, so that's good,
which is hard to find andachieve.
Tyra Valeriano (14:01):
Yeah, that's amazing that he gave you a
chance, because many officersyou know they don't have that
same kind of luck of having anagency.
Look past those decisions thatthey made in their past and you
know they may have made amistake that they have also
grown from, but they're now whatwe call blackballed right and
(14:21):
now they can't get hired at anyagency.
So that's actually really greatand it's motivating hopefully
to those who are listening thatmay be struggling with something
similar that there is hope andthat it's not always going to be
the way that we've seen it.
At least we hope that.
So you guys have went on tostart your own business and to
(14:42):
teach classes.
What is it that you guys aregiving to law enforcement
officers and agencies throughthis program that you've started
?
Allen Hendrickson (14:53):
Well before we talk about that.
One of the things that we alsodid is we want to bring as many
avenues for assistance and helpwhatever you want to call it in
the mental wellness area to lawenforcement officers and make
them aware of it.
So we made sure, prior to allof this, that people knew about
Axon Aid, which is a free.
You can go to Axon Aid and haveall kinds of things on there
(15:15):
about getting mental wellnesshelp and training.
Another thing that we didduring this process is we
attended a class in Florida it'scalled Struggle Well, through
the Boulder Crest Foundation.
Are you familiar with theBoulder Crest Foundation?
Tyra Valeriano (15:28):
I am not Tell me about it.
Allen Hendrickson (15:31):
So Boulder Crest is in 19 states and it
started out for military and nowfirst responders can go and it
teaches you post-traumaticgrowth and it's called, like I
said, boldcrest foundation.
Um, we went to a class inflorida and I reached out to
them and said hey, you know, I'dlove to have this in alabama.
There it costs nothing to hosttheir class.
You just haven't had to have anentity that will be the
(15:53):
operator of the system and bethe easy way to say it, in other
words, jacksonville State.
I reached out to them and said,hey, I'd love to have this
program.
I told them what it was.
We all had a meeting.
Jacksonville State is our hubfor the training, and so what we
did now is we've been able tobring Struggle Well training to
all law enforcement officers inthe state of Alabama through
working with Jacksonville State,working with Boulder Crest, and
(16:21):
we're currently in the processof six of us being trained as
struggle well guides.
So recently we did a very firststruggle well class in Alabama.
So now Alabama is the 19thstate.
So by working hard, you canbring other programs.
That's what we want to show.
Not only are we trying to pushour program, but other good
programs that are out there.
We brought that program througha lot of support.
Tyra Valeriano (16:43):
That's great.
I was actually going to ask youhow this has manifested into
the mental health and wellnessside of law enforcement, because
, since I've worked with you,alongside you, with law
enforcement coaching, that'sgoing to be the main aspect of
why we did coaching and it's apassion that we have.
There's obviously for you, apersonal reason why you have
(17:04):
taken this route, amy.
For you, what is this taughtyou on the spouse side, now that
you've taken this new projecton with your husband?
Amy Hendrickson (17:18):
Well, I do think it's a little different,
which I've always been.
I'm not the kind of wife thatgets frustrated with not him not
.
You know, I understand it's hisjob and it's the way we live.
You know that's our money orwhatever.
But I have.
I recognize um is that the wordlike I can recognize.
(17:40):
I have to give you an example.
Um, he was in like a high speedchase and so he, he goes and
eats lunch with me and my mom'swhen he works, because I work
close to my mother and I eatwith her every day.
So he, he comes in, he'stelling me about this high speed
chase and, um, he told me hegot up to like 120, 150.
(18:01):
And you know the wife in me islike, and that I could tell he
was just like.
I said, do you need to like,call somebody like?
You know like a coach or mentoror something?
And so I recognize those thingsin him.
And I also know like we talk alittle bit through the day.
You know I don't have to be, wedon't have to talk every few
(18:23):
minutes, but if something majorhappens he may not can tell me
the details, but he'll call meand said I've just had a DCPR on
a baby and it died small babyand it died.
That night I cooked him hisfavorite supper it was ready
when he came home because I knewhe's gonna be stressed and so
I've just learned to um to backoff, to be there when he needs
(18:48):
me, to back off when he needsyou know, he comes in and he's
in his uniform he's stillOfficer Allen, but when he takes
off that uniform then he comesby Allen, you know.
So mental wellness I have seenhis Allen.
He's not only did a lot of thepeer support and all that.
Anything he can read, anythinghe can go to, he does it.
(19:11):
And I have pre-rehab Allen lawenforcement officer to now.
The calmness in him, mentalwellness, is so important and I
really believe it's reallyimportant in law enforcement.
I have noticed that he rarelygets in a call where he gets
(19:34):
into a fight with someone.
It gets to a point where itcould go ugly because he's calm
and home life is good.
And he's got all this.
You know compartmentalize it, Iguess, and it's made a big
difference on that note, whichis good for me and I have
(19:56):
learned to back off.
But then he also knows when hey, I don't need to do overtime, I
need to spend time with my wifetonight.
Allen Hendrickson (20:04):
And one of the things to add to that, tara,
would be that, you know, duringthe training, if we're talking
about recruitment and retention,a healthy officer is going to
be happy.
They're not telling peopledon't come to work at Dothan PD
because they're mad aboutsomething that ain't got nothing
to do with Dothan PD.
Just today at lunch one of thelocal sheriffs was in the
(20:33):
restaurant eating and he had twoof his deputies with him.
I'm sitting there trying torecruit his deputies while we're
eating, you know, and he's likestop, you know, y'all have
already got a few of mine,you're something else.
And so if I'm happy, I'm goingto actively recruit.
But if I'm, you know, in a badspot, then I'm going to tell
don't come here because thecommand's this, the pay's this,
when it has nothing to do withthat.
On a deeper effect of mentalwellness, if I'm a field
(20:54):
training officer, like I am now,if I'm in there and I'm all ill
with that brand new personbecause I'm having an affair and
I'm high or my finances arewrecked and I'm just upset with
that stuff, I'm pushing that offon that new recruit which is
now going to hurt them If I pullthis person over for speeding
and they go all off on me andI've got a bad attitude because
(21:16):
of personal things.
I'm going to go all off Again.
And I've got a bad attitudebecause of personal things, I'm
going to go all off Again.
I had the other day I hadsomeone pull him over.
He was going just all the wayoff.
As I'm going back to my car hesaid hey, by the way, I didn't
have my seatbelt on either.
I'm like all right, so I goback there and I write him his
warnings and I come back and hejust could not believe he got
warnings.
I mean, he was just as ugly ashe could be.
(21:36):
But guess what, like I told him, he does not dictate whether or
not I'm going to write a ticket.
He does not dictate my attitude.
I'm sorry you're having a badday but you're not going to
change mine.
But back in the day I'd havebeen like here's you some
tickets, here's you know so itall changes.
Tyra Valeriano (21:59):
Yeah, you know that's actually a conversation
that I had with someone else nottoo long ago is that you, an
agency, really shouldn't haveany issues with recruiting when
the cup is overflowing from theinside, so when you're taking
care of your people and you havethe resources that they need to
be successful, to be happy toeven down to having resources
for mental health, because a lotof the troubles that people are
(22:21):
facing are around wellness andit doesn't necessarily have to
be, you know, a stress relatedcall or something that they
responded to.
It can be home life, it can befinances, it can be all of the
things that are not work related, but there's no resources out
there.
So if the cup is not full andoverflowing, just like you said,
(22:41):
it's going to be in theopposite direction you still
full and overflowing, but withnegativity, and that'll just
seep on into the new recruitsand that just aura or that vibe,
just continues on within theagency and it's really hard to
reverse that once it started.
Allen Hendrickson (23:02):
I feel like we have a good healthy
department.
I feel like our command pusheswellness.
We're 217 is what we allottedfor and we just got some of
those slots allotted to us backin October and we're down less
than 10 people and we have nofull-time recruiter.
(23:22):
Wow, that's great, we have arecruitment group that goes
around sometimes but we havenobody.
That is solely what they do,and we're only down, like I said
, less than 10.
But October 1, they gave usfive or six slots, I think it
was, so that made us be a littleshorter.
So, even at 217, to be 10 orless, and since I've been there
we've kind of stayed 10 or less.
(23:44):
You've got some that makedecisions.
They have to go, so that numberis going to float soon.
So, again, to be as big as weare and no recruiter, full-time
recruiter, it speaks volume forthe agency itself and the
leadership.
Tyra Valeriano (24:00):
Yeah, that's great.
So I have a question.
Now that you're an FTO, I'msure you share your story with
new recruits.
You probably tell them I canonly assume that maybe you tell
them you know, don't go down thebad path, Don't do this, Don't
do that.
This is what could result fromthose decisions.
What is their reaction to someof the suggestions or guidance
(24:22):
that you give them based on yourstory?
Allen Hendrickson (24:26):
So what?
I open up with my new ones thatthey give me.
It's just like when I anexample, when I was captain,
when I brought someone in tohire them, I went ahead and told
them my whole backstory.
That way they couldn't go overhere to this agency and say, hey
, yeah, I talked to CaptainHenderson.
Let me tell you what CaptainHenderson done before.
Well, wait a minute, that ain'twhat he said.
You left this out.
So I go ahead and nip all thatin the bud so they know
(24:47):
everything about my background.
And then, as I'm coaching themto become an officer, as I see
things, I coach them and I askquestions.
So I don't really get on tothem.
I'm more of okay, I know that'sa problem, so I'm going to
coach them out of it.
I'm going to dive into it andmentor them in a better
direction.
It also gets them to be veryopen with me when I'm training,
(25:11):
and so we are able to have abetter relationship.
One of the things that we'vebeen doing is I go to Amy's
mom's to eat lunch, so the newrecruit gets the option of going
there or we'll go out to eat.
So far they've all wanted to gothere.
So that opens it up more,because most FTOs ain't going to
take people to their family'shouse and have lunch.
That gives us a few moreminutes to bond from the day,
(25:32):
talk about the day outside, notbe in the car, and then we go
back and complete our assignment.
You know our shift.
Tyra Valeriano (25:39):
Now that you're pretty much into this wellness
space with Alan on the spouseside, what are you doing?
Do you do anything with otherspouses?
Or maybe if officers might cometo you guys with some issues
for marital problems or maybeeven drinking problems, any
problem that they may have howis it that you step in for the
(26:00):
spouse side?
Amy Hendrickson (26:04):
I haven't had very many to come to me, but we
are going to develop.
I am going to develop a programthat will run with our other
ones.
That would be just for spouses.
So we were at the COPS whatwould you call that thing?
We were at.
Allen Hendrickson (26:22):
We did two classes at the COPS the Concerns
of Police Survival NationalTrauma and Wellness Conference
in Orlando last year In Augustwe did two classes at the cops
the concerns of police of ournational trauma and wellness
conference in.
Amy Hendrickson (26:28):
Orlando last year In August.
Allen Hendrickson (26:31):
And so Breakout session.
Amy Hendrickson (26:33):
We had done a breakout session and Not that
day but like the next day, wewere at this, this large party,
this, the last party of thenight or whatever, and it was
like Dinner and all that stuff.
And this, this young couplecomes up and she wants to talk
to me.
She takes me off to the sideand, um, I just I just listen
(26:58):
and then I give the best advicethat I can for whatever
situation and then, if I have to, if it's something that I can
truly relate to that happened tome, I will give examples of
what you know and I'll tell them.
You know, here's my phonenumber.
Call me if you want to.
We haven't heard from thatlittle couple because the guy
took him off to the side.
(27:23):
But in class I get asked a lot.
In class I get asked a lot whenI was coaching.
More often I haven't got anyspouses in the coaching, it's
always been officers.
One of them asked me how muchshould I tell my spouse?
That's what he wanted to know.
I said that's a conversationy'all need to have.
(27:46):
I said me and Alan knows whathe can tell me.
I love true crime and stuffsaid that's a conversation y'all
need to have.
I said me and Alan knows whathe can tell me um, which I'm.
I love true crime and stufflike that, so nothing really
grosses me out.
I'm pretty open but, um, and Iknow when to worry about him,
when not to.
But I'm also been, we've beendoing this for 25 years, so you
know, um, but I'm open totalking to spouses and being
(28:10):
there for a man, woman, whatever, husband, wife.
Allen Hendrickson (28:14):
So after that what she was talking about
there that day.
That night the husband pulledme out and she went out with the
spouse and we spent about anhour with each one of them.
Amy Hendrickson (28:23):
They were really young.
Allen Hendrickson (28:24):
Really young.
They had attended our class theday before.
They were scheduled to gosomewhere else a different class
after our class, but instead wefound out during our
conversation they chose to goback to their room and talk
about.
They spent the rest of the dayin their room talking about our
class, how they related and howthey can work on things, and
then the next night you know,they just happened to come up to
(28:45):
us and we spend about an hourwith them At the end of every
class.
What we do is we make sure theyhave my information as well as
Amy's, and they feel free tocall us and there's no questions
asked.
We're not even going to ask youwhere you're at.
You call and say hey, I was inone of your classes, I need to
talk to you.
Okay, what do you need to talkabout?
We're not asking what agencyyou're at, what part of the
state you're in or what state.
(29:06):
We don't care.
If you want to tell us thatpart, then you can.
So we make sure it's availablefor that and I think that's
where we're headed.
And, like Amy said, she'sworking on a two-hour class for
spouses only, where she's goingto teach about how to, you know,
wind down when I came home, andwhen I tell her there was a
problem at work, she sets thehouse to make me feel
(29:27):
comfortable because she knows Ihad a bad day.
So when I come in I'm nowgetting comfortable and then we
talk a little.
So those are the kind of thingswe're teaching in the class.
Amy Hendrickson (29:37):
You have to learn and it comes with time.
Young couples don't reallyunderstand, but you have to
learn when not to push them andlike.
One very important thing is trynot to call them during their
shift and argue with them,because you know I could get off
that phone with him fussing himout about something and he
(29:58):
could have a wreck or shoot outor you know, you just never know
.
So you want to keep their mindcalm down there 12 hours because
he sees things that during hiswork hour I don't see Deals with
people that are very volatile.
You know that.
I don't know.
I'm in property management, sosometimes our tenants are
(30:19):
volatile.
But the thing about this mentalwellness is when Alan first got
into law enforcement, maybe evenfive years ago, I would say it
wasn't cool to have mentalproblems or talk about your
marriage problems or yourdrinking problems.
And if you did, you felt likeyou were going to get dinged or
(30:43):
talked about really bad in thedepartment dinged or talked
about really bad in thedepartment.
And I just think it's reallyimportant that, if you know, we
want these officers to go outand do their job and do it well
and not have like a George Floydor remake or whatever.
So we need their mentalwellness, and their mental
health is very important.
I'm glad you touched on that?
Tyra Valeriano (31:05):
Yeah, I'm glad you touched on that because I
feel that there are a lot ofspouses who still may not
understand that concept and, youknow, maybe they see on the
news that there was an officerwho died in the line of duty.
They had a wife, they had achild, feel a certain way and be
(31:27):
like, oh you know, I need totake this into consideration.
But at what point in his careerdid you realize, hey, I don't
need to do this because there isa reality there that something
could go wrong?
And when did you realize thatyou could just give him the
peace when he's at work and notgive him a hard time, and know
that that was going to help him?
Amy Hendrickson (31:45):
Yeah, I think, like coming into the marriage
again, like I said, with growth,you know, because I feel like
I'm married to somebody totallydifferent this time.
I mean it's just crazy, it'sjust different person.
Before mental health readingall that stuff, no, but I think
like when, maybe when we firststarted talking again and then
(32:09):
got you know, when we first gotmarried, I would call and if I
was fussy with him I could tellyou know how it bothered him and
so it just cuts with growth too.
They just know that this is animportant job.
And then when the um, a lot ofit just made me so angry when
(32:31):
the world's decided to turnagainst law enforcement officers
, you know, and I don't think,um, a lot of people realize what
they face.
I mean, you go how scary it isto pull over a car and and walk
up to it.
You know, um, we were going toone of our friends, uh, had a
(32:53):
tragic accident.
His brother had a tragicaccident and we were trying to
get to.
He was an officer, uh, friendof Allen's.
We was trying to get to him and, uh, we got pulled over and
when the officer come up to theside I could tell you was scared
.
He came up to my side notalan's and you don't know what
you're gonna face in that car,what's gonna you know?
(33:13):
So I guess, just seeing theworld turn against police
officers and just knowing thatmy attitude affects his attitude
, and it just took growth.
Allen Hendrickson (33:32):
And I would add to that, tara, that I think
some of that is like she spokeon earlier when you start having
these big incidents and youstart seeing the turn and you
start thinking you know what,you know what if that officer
that was involved in whateverthat big incident is because if
I'm not there I'm not going to,you know, I'm not going to
quarterback it.
So if you have a big incidentand then you start wondering,
hey, what mindset was thatofficer in?
Was they mad at home?
(33:54):
Was that why they were stressed?
And I think we start talkingabout things like that and could
that affect somebody's use offorce?
And 100% it can.
So that's when we kind ofstarted working on that and
integrating it because we canshow with data that using like a
coaching program, a good mentalwellness program, not only
recruitment retention use offorce is down, sick time is down
(34:16):
, people are using theirvacations.
So all of it compiled togetheris supported by true data.
And a part of that that can beshowed is you know you take
someone, that you take a squadand you have three officers on
that squad that seem to have alot of taser deployments and
then you got a couple that's nothad any in two years.
(34:36):
That's been in the same kind ofcalls.
Why is that?
This group has got taserdeployments, this group don't.
If you take a deep dive, thisgroup just really using the
taser deployments over here.
They're not de-escalating,they're not trying to.
They're they're letting offstress and anger a lot of times
and if you deep dive into theirpersonal life, it is a uh, you
(34:56):
know it's a wreck usually.
So when you got a high usage ofsick time it's all data driven.
Tyra Valeriano (35:02):
So that actually brings.
It kind of sheds light on theimportance of spouses being
involved in wellness trainingtoo, because it's not very
common that you hear about aprofession or a job where the
spouse should be included in anytype of training when they're
not the employee right right.
(35:27):
But in this situation that youguys are describing, it actually
shows why it's important thatmaybe police spouses or first
responder spouses should beinvolved in some kind of
training, because it does matter.
And you know, I know when Istarted my relationship with my
husband, he didn't reallyunderstand the concept of you
don't know the stress that I gothrough at work.
So please don't argue with meduring my shift or before I go
(35:47):
to work, because it sets my dayfor a 12 hour shift.
And there's probably a lot ofspouses out there that feel the
same.
They just don't understand.
Allen Hendrickson (35:56):
And speaking of spouses, one thing we are
blessed with the four hourcourse that we put on all over
Alabama and anywhere else.
Spouses are always invited.
They can come Well, are youguys?
Tyra Valeriano (36:08):
are you guys looking at doing stuff outside
of Alabama?
Allen Hendrickson (36:12):
We are currently in talking with
different agencies, some inGeorgia, florida and Texas.
What they're doing is lookingat we've given some quotes on
what it would cost for it tocome out.
We keep our costs where it'snot killing an agency to bring
us out and basically they bringus out and we open the floor If
they pay the fee and they wantto open it up to other agencies,
(36:34):
they can.
So we have been contacted byother states.
We're just waiting to see asfar as price, because when you
start talking you know to go toTexas or go to California, you
know we got to fly so we got topay for all that, but we keep it
relatively.
I call it very cost efficientand so we are looking at other
(36:55):
states.
Currently it's just waiting tosee if they can do budget
approvals and things like that.
Amy Hendrickson (37:00):
I could get an RV.
Allen Hendrickson (37:02):
I'm not riding around with you all day
in an RV.
I done told her she's better atit, right, because I'm not
marrying around with you all dayin the RV.
I done told her she's better atrock because I'm not marrying
her four times.
Amy Hendrickson (37:11):
Look, I have a philosophy.
When it comes to us, it's threestrikes, you're out, or three
times the charm.
Tyra Valeriano (37:16):
So there you go, alan.
I wanted to go back to theaddiction side of things.
For officers who may bestruggling with any type of
addiction, how is your journeynow?
Is it something that is still astruggle?
Is it something that you stillhave to remind yourself of what
you've been through and to notgo that route again?
(37:38):
Have you experienced that atall now that you've been in
recovery?
Allen Hendrickson (37:43):
No, I haven't had any issues with it.
Amy Hendrickson (37:45):
He's a champ when it comes to this.
Allen Hendrickson (37:47):
I guess the problem is I just set my mind on
it and I didn't do it.
I'm not going to do it.
I'm not going back down thatroad.
It's not destroying me againand I'm helping not to and I'm
not going to.
There is times that we go andwe may have to attend a birthday
party and there's alcohol.
Or in some of our priorbusiness engagements we
sponsored the, not out for thealcohol, you know the, whatever
(38:11):
you want to call it different atthe conference you know when
you have your hospitality night,and there was one not long ago
where we sponsored thehospitality night and myself and
another recovering alcoholicwere actually the ones pouring
alcohol for them.
So another recovering alcoholicwere actually the ones pouring
alcohol for him.
Amy Hendrickson (38:30):
So you know, we don't have a problem with it.
Allen Hendrickson (38:31):
Again, one is .
I just had to set the mind thatit is everywhere.
The first thing you do when yougo to a restaurant.
They say, hey, the drink of theday is this, and I'm like I
don't drink, so anyway, and Idon't drink.
Amy Hendrickson (38:43):
So again.
Allen Hendrickson (38:44):
we just set that tone and then I talk to
people about it because you knowyou don't have to have there's
so many addictions out there.
When you start talking aboutaddictions and to help people
with it, how do you get awayfrom it?
A lot of times, you know.
That's why we named our classBreak the Cycle.
We go back to what we know,whether it's alcohol, it's porn,
(39:04):
it's infidelity, whatever it isthat we've seen as a child, we
go to it as an adult and that'swhy we named it Break the Cycle.
My family was all kinds of intodrugs, infidelity, things like
that.
Amy's family didn't.
They went to church.
So we take the two sides andput them together and show you
the difference.
You know, I went to what I knew, which was the infidelity of
(39:33):
alcohol.
She went to what she knows,which is the Bible and God, and
she would her faith.
Tyra Valeriano (39:37):
So we take all that time together in a class,
even when you're talking aboutaddictions.
That's great.
We are running out of time.
But I have a question that I'msure you may know or not know,
and it is what you would tellyour rookie self, based on the
experience that you've had inlaw enforcement.
Allen Hendrickson (39:52):
I would tell my rookie self to really make
sure I had a focus on mentalwellness.
We do so much trainingeverywhere else but we do very
little mental wellness.
We can run 10 miles, but if ourbrain ain't functioning right
and fueled right, it's not goingto work.
(40:13):
Good it's, you know, we mightcan run that 10 miles, but all
these other decisions areproblems.
So I would tell myself to focuson mental wellness.
Tyra Valeriano (40:21):
That's good, Amy .
I don't normally have a spouseon my show, but because you are
here, I would like your input onwhat kind of advice would you
like to give to the listeners iftheir spouse is out there
listening today?
Amy Hendrickson (40:34):
Basically, just listen to your spouse, your law
enforcement officer.
You have the conversation abouthow much you want to be
included.
I think him being able to talkto me about things that weigh
heavy on his mind, about a callor whatever, um, and being able
to trust that it stays betweenus and I don't go run my mouth
(40:57):
um, so giving you know, gettingsomebody that they can trust,
because it's hard for for themto trust because they see so so
much in the world.
You know what I'm saying.
So we need to be the personthat and it's a lot on a on a
spouse it is you take a lot in,but, um, I think it's, it's
(41:19):
worth it in the long run.
It is for me.
But I would just say justlisten, be somebody they can
trust.
Um, if the weather's bad andthey have to stay out all night,
put your big girl panties onand just, you know, get your
flashlight.
Don't, don't stress them outand make them worry that you,
you know, don't call them crying.
I'm scared, call mama.
Tyra Valeriano (41:43):
Well, that's great advice.
Allen Hendrickson (41:44):
Thank you for that.
Tyra Valeriano (41:46):
I know you guys have a website up and running
now.
Would you guys mind sharingthat with the listeners in case
they want to check out what youguys are up to?
Allen Hendrickson (41:54):
It's alanhendricksoncom.
All one word.
Tyra Valeriano (41:57):
He didn't put my name in it so can they sign up
with you or contact you viaemail on your website?
Allen Hendrickson (42:08):
Yes, the website has different sections
that you can go to.
You can see the events we'redoing.
You can book an appointmentwith us.
We are now rolling out someonline classes and coming in the
near future there will bedifferent tabs.
Currently, the tabs that are inworks that will be up and
running soon are resource tab,where you'll be able to go to
and find different resources.
(42:28):
There is a speaker tab coming.
There is a podcast tab comingwhere we will share certain
people's podcasts in there.
So those kind of things arecoming.
Right now, the event tab isactive.
The book online is active.
The event is active and theothers are currently being fixed
.
You know, constructed.
Amy Hendrickson (42:48):
He's playing with it.
Still, my information will beon the website as well, and I
welcome any spouse or officerthat has a question.
You know that they may want toask me.
Tyra Valeriano (43:01):
Sounds good.
Thank you, amy, and thank you,alan for joining me today.
I appreciate your guys' insightfor sharing your story, for
being so open and giving youradvice to listeners, officers,
first responders.
I think your message is reallyimportant and, like I said at
the beginning, mental health andwellness is something that I
know we both share in common andI think it's an important wall
(43:25):
to break down.
It's going to take a lot moreeffort as we continue forward.
It's been a journey, I'm sure,for both of us, but I appreciate
your guys' work and effort sofar and I really look forward to
seeing what you guys have instore for 2025.
For the listeners that arelistening today, thank you for
joining and we will see you onthe next one.
Thank you for joining me onChapter Blue.
(43:46):
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to follow and tag me on
social media and share withyour friends and fellow officers
.
If you're interested in joiningan episode, I'd love for you to
be a part of the conversation.
Until next time, stay safe,take care of yourself and
remember you're never alone inthis journey.
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