April 24, 2025 • 52 mins
Tyra Valeriano opens a new chapter for the podcast by welcoming her first non-law enforcement, but first responder guest, paramedic Stacee. Though they once worked alongside each other without forming a connection, they've since developed a friendship that bridges the gap between their first responder roles.
Stacey reveals the subtle psychological shifts that happen to EMS professionals after just a few years on the job. "I catastrophize things," she admits, describing how constantly witnessing worst-case scenarios creates a hyperawareness of mortality that most people never experience. This conversation exposes the hidden mental burden carried by those who respond to our most desperate moments.
The discussion tackles the physical toll of interrupted sleep during 24-hour shifts, the complex gender dynamics women face in these traditionally male-dominated fields, and the fascinating interplay between law enforcement and EMS on emergency scenes. Their humor about hoping the other first responder will "take" difficult cases reveals the unspoken professional dynamics rarely seen by the public.
Most compelling is their shared experience on a disturbing call with potential paranormal elements—a story that went viral when Stacee posted about it online. Their willingness to discuss this encounter is a story telling aspect Chapter Blue has not yet taken on how first responders sometimes face situations that defy easy explanation, adding another layer to their psychological processing.
For those considering careers in emergency services or trying to understand what their first responder loved ones experience, this conversation offers some interesting and fun perspective. With advice about avoiding burnout, protecting mental health, and prioritizing physical wellness, Stacee and Tyra provide a roadmap for sustainability in professions that constantly expose workers to trauma and stress. Tune into this bonus episode to hear more honest conversations about the realities behind the badge and beyond.
📌 Resources & Contact Info from the Episode:
Guest: Stacee | Light Sirens Action EMS
📲 Instagram, TikTok, YouTube: @lightssirensaction
🌐 Website: https://lightssirensactionems.com/
✅ Offers EMS education videos
✅ Free resources for those in or considering EMS
✅ EMT class advice for law enforcement crossover
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Tyra Valeriano (00:01):
Welcome to Chapter Blue, the podcast where
we discuss the world of lawenforcement through an honest
conversation on tough orcontroversial topics, real
stories, perspectives andexperience from officers all
around the world.
Whether you're here forinsights on mental health,
self-care, work-life balance,getting into law enforcement,
getting out of law enforcement,or just trying to learn about
(00:21):
personal and professionalchallenges officers face every
day, you've come to the rightplace.
I'm your host, tyra Valeriano,and whether I'm going solo or
speaking with a guest, eachepisode will discuss different
aspects of life behind the badge.
Let's turn the page and stepinto Chapter Blue.
Welcome back to Chapter Blue.
(00:41):
I'm pretty excited about todaybecause I opened up the podcast
to all first responders andtheir families, and she is going
to be my first guest that isnot a law enforcement officer.
And the second reason I'mexcited about this interview is
because Stacey and I areactually friends.
But the irony of us beingfriends is that we weren't
friends when we worked together.
We were actually.
(01:02):
We became friends after we bothexited our roles, but since
we've left our original roles,stacey is back working as a
first responder and I'm going tolet her tell you a little bit
more about her background andwhat she is doing today.
So, stacey, thank you forjoining me.
Stacee (01:20):
Thank you so much for having me.
Yes, as she said, my name isStacey and we actually did used
to work together.
I was on the EMS side and I ama paramedic and I've been in EMS
since 2015-2016 time frame andso, yeah, I was full-time in the
field whenever I met you, andnow I'm part-time and I'm more
(01:45):
on the education side.
I teach in class and I alsoteach online and, yeah, so
excited to be here.
Tyra Valeriano (01:54):
Yeah, I'm pretty excited, kind of nervous
because I said a little bitbefore, this is our first time
having a first responder.
That is not law enforcement.
But the reason why I wanted tohave other first responders join
onto the podcast is because youand I have both talked about
mental health and wellness andwe've also had our discussions
about scenes that we've went ontogether and kind of what the
(02:15):
residual effects were afterwards.
Because when you guys takesomebody, we don't really know
what you're doing.
We just kind of hope thatyou're going to take them, or
you know, if you guys leavesomebody with us, then it's our
problem and you guys don't everhave to worry about what we're
doing.
So we've had some interestingconversations like that.
But the first question I wantto ask you is to kind of get on
(02:36):
the topic of mental health andwellness.
But more on your guys' side, isthere anything that you can
think of that really affects EMSor even FIRE, because you've
worked with FIRE particularlythat you know.
Maybe we don't know that youguys face on a daily basis.
Stacee (02:54):
I don't know if there's anything that you guys may not
know, but I think, very similarto what you go through with all
the calls that y'all run on,there's just these little
residual effects and quirks thatyou may develop over time.
And I've noticed it withinmyself after being in EMS and I
can't say, oh, I've been in EMSfor 20 years and I have PTSD.
(03:17):
You might expect someone who'sbeen in for a really long time.
But even after a few years youstart to notice little quirks
within yourself.
I was actually just talkingabout this with someone recently
and there's little things thatI've noticed.
And one thing is I kind ofcatastrophize things.
I kind of think about worstcase scenario.
(03:39):
I kind of think about ourmortality and how we're all this
close to death and that seems abit morbid, but it's just
something that happens when youwork in the field.
And I think you guys probablysee that a lot on the PD side
too, where you've seen so manybad things that you start to
think what, if, what if?
(04:00):
What if it happens to my kid?
What if it happens to me?
And then you start to think howcan I control the situation?
So well, if I don't get on thatplane, then I may not, the
plane may not crash.
It's like you can't live yourlife worrying about all of these
things, but after a while ofseeing all the bad things that
(04:22):
could go wrong, you kind ofworry about them.
It's just natural, I think.
Tyra Valeriano (04:26):
Yeah, I agree with that.
I actually wanted to ask youabout your sleep.
So I know on the PD side wealways give you guys a hard time
, you know.
Oh well, you guys are sleepingwhile we're working, but, to be
honest, you guys do longershifts than us and you guys do
get woken up in the middle ofyour sleep.
So I am curious to hear howyour guys' sleep schedule
(04:48):
affects your daily life, becauseeven though we give you guys a
hard time, we don't know whatthat's like because, yeah, we
work 12 hour shifts.
We might get woken up in themiddle of the night because we
have a hot call that they needextra bodies, but at the end of
the day we still get that extrasleep that you guys don't get.
So what is that like for youguys?
Stacee (05:07):
Oh, it's horrible.
It is horrible.
So the schedule that I workedwas 2448 for a while and then we
switched to 4896.
So we would be two days on andfour days off and I always
thought about how you guys mustthink, running into us at 3 am
because we would try to begetting sleep during that time.
(05:28):
We probably looked crazy, butit definitely took a toll on my
sleep, and I am not the only one.
I think anyone, even still inthe field, probably struggles
with it.
I sleep a lot better now thatI'm not full-time, but it's
still not the same.
It's just the disruption I'm.
Usually I wake up throughoutthe night.
I have zero problem knockingout or going to sleep, but it's
(05:52):
the staying asleep and I was notlike that prior to EMS.
So it definitely has someresidual effects.
Tyra Valeriano (06:00):
So since your break, when you left from your
first agency and now you'reworking with a different
jurisdiction, between that timeframe, did you notice how you
had to adjust your body Like?
Did you have trouble sleeping?
Were you still experiencing thesame things that you were when
you were in your first agency?
I mean, how was the transitionfor you when it came to just
(06:22):
normalizing your body?
Stacee (06:25):
It took quite a while.
It definitely took a while tokind of get into the routine of
going to bed around 10 PM andgetting up at a normal hour and
not, you know, having thoseinterruptions throughout the
night.
And I think I got healthierafter I left and I didn't want
to admit that because I loved myfull-time gig.
(06:46):
It was a blast.
I liked the uncertainty and theadrenaline, rushes and the good
calls where you feel like youmade a difference.
But at the same time it wasvery hard on my health, and not
just sleep-wise, I mean justoverall.
There were days where I wouldhave headaches and not just
sleep wise, I mean just overallI did.
There were days where I wouldhave headaches and not feel good
and I'm sure you can relatewith that where you kind of wake
(07:08):
up, especially in your case ifyou were on night shift, kind of
waking up feeling like a zombiethroughout the day trying to
function like a normal mom, anormal wife.
But it's difficult.
Tyra Valeriano (07:19):
Yeah, what do you think is in maybe on your
side, because right now lawenforcement has the mental
health and wellness just at theforefront.
It's something that we'retrying to push out there is.
Are you guys experiencing thatat all on your side?
I mean, are they talking aboutthis?
Are they trying to give youguys any kind of programs or
(07:40):
resources that can help youthrough these times where you
guys are struggling with sleepor you guys are having any
issues that are coming from thejob?
Stacee (07:49):
I would say it's definitely on the forefront more
than it's ever been.
But we run into a stigma andI'm sure you run into it as well
on the law enforcement sidewhere it's like oh yeah, talk
about the rough calls If you'rehaving difficulty processing or
going through anything, we'llhave a critical stress,
debriefings and things like that.
(08:09):
But as for addressing justnormal day-to-day stuff like
stresses at home, kind ofturning off work and going home
and, like you said, sleep Iwouldn't say that I've noticed a
huge, huge shift.
But I guess, if you compared itto probably back in the 90s or
early 2000s, yeah, there'sdefinitely more talk of mental
health and taking care ofyourself.
Tyra Valeriano (08:33):
You've noticed, like you said, you've noticed a
difference now that you are inpart-time.
So for people who I'm sure wein fact me and you both know, an
officer slash firefighter thathas kind of went between the two
jobs in our agencies.
He went from firefighter to lawenforcement, back to
(08:55):
firefighter, then he went backto law enforcement and I want to
say he's back with fire.
I'm not sure, I'm not sure ifyou know who I'm talking about,
but for that reason you know.
I'm just curious, like is thereany tips that you can give for
maybe officers who want tobecome EMTs and think that, you
know, maybe that's the routethat they want to go?
Is there any advice that youcould provide if that's the
(09:17):
transition that they want tomake?
Stacee (09:20):
I mean I would say definitely, think about it long
and hard, because it is justlike we talked about our shifts.
Our shifts are very similar it'slong hours, it's interrupted
sleep, but on the EMS side wehave obviously different
priorities.
Ours is more medical based,it's more about the patient.
I feel like we still stressscene safety and scene control,
(09:45):
but you guys think about theentire big picture and so it
would just be shifting yourmindset and it's like, okay, are
you ready to be a medical nerdtoo?
Because if that's what you'reinterested in, if you're
interested in the long hours andthe interrupted sleep, but the
medicine part of it, I mean Isay give it a go.
You can always take an EMTclass.
(10:05):
An EMT class is six months,it's one semester, and I think
that would give you a reallygood idea if it's for you.
And then if you want to go onand progress to be an advanced
EMT or to be a paramedic, thenyou can.
But that would give you a basisand, honestly, if you decided
to stay on the PD side, I thinkit would really help you
(10:29):
understand our job when we're onscenes.
Tyra Valeriano (10:33):
What are your guys' opinion about law
enforcement?
I know we've had thisconversation, just as friends.
Do you guys have any pet peevesfrom law enforcement being on
scenes or maybe the way wehandle things?
Is there anything that you guysjust really do not like?
Stacee (10:51):
Oh gosh, you're putting me on the spot here.
So yeah, actually and you and Ihave talked about this I don't
have a ton of complaints aboutmy experience with law
enforcement.
I really leaned on you guys,especially with our behavioral
emergencies where we had violentpatients and things of that
nature.
You guys were kind of oursafety net and so I don't have a
(11:13):
lot of negative to say.
But I will say there were timeswhere I would be on a scene and
be talking to a patient andeverything would be a bit calm
and there were specific officersthat tended to hype the
situation up, maybe beaccusatory towards the patient I
(11:33):
don't know about drugs or theenvironment that they're in
currently or what have you, andit would just make our scene go
from completely calm to a 10.
And it was like really Just letus get them to the ambulance,
you know, give us a second.
But I don't really have a tonof complaints.
(11:54):
I think one thing that youprobably noticed that we've
talked about is I really kept tomyself.
I feel like there's this bigstigma of EMS and cops and
nurses and the flirtation andstuff.
So I always I mean, obviously Iwasn't, it wasn't a concern
with you, but I always just kindof kept my mind on the job and
(12:16):
kind of stayed out of that scenebecause I saw a lot of that.
I saw a lot of our, you knowfemales either on the EMS side
or on PD side, you know, kind ofhanging out with the opposite
one and that's totally fine.
But a lot of times there weremarriages and I'm sure you can
understand things got a littlemuddy.
Tyra Valeriano (12:38):
Yeah, no, we've had that conversation and it's
very relatable, and I think thisis kind of where it comes into
play, where we were not friendswhile we worked together.
We didn't have a problem witheach other, but we really did
keep to ourselves and we weren'treally just social.
I was never social on scenes,even with the female fire EMTs
(13:00):
Nobody, just I just kept tomyself, did my job, and I think
you did the same.
So, yeah, I can see how that isprobably one of the bigger
problems that we have.
I'm going to say for lawenforcement.
I don't, we don't have an issuewith you guys.
I think more we're hoping thatyou guys are going to take.
If you're responding, we'rehoping you're going to take the
person, Because if you take theperson, depending on the
(13:22):
situation, we're not going tohave to do a report, we're not
going to have to call for adetective or whatever the case
may be.
So it's less work for us and Imean you call it lazy, but it's
really not.
It's just now.
It's you guys could just takethe body, you know, like maybe
they need some kind of medicalattention and you know y'all, if
you just take them off thescene.
(13:43):
It's no longer our scene, and Ithink there's been times where
we're really just standing therecrossing our fingers You're
going to take him right, You'regoing to take him or her right,
right, right, and sometimes youguys would and sometimes you
wouldn't, and then that wasprobably the only issue that I
could ever remember.
Stacee (13:57):
You know, you saying that just reminded me there were
times where I would run intoofficers saying, well, if you're
not going with them, you'regoing with us.
And it was like the EMSproviders would be like wait
what?
No, don't threaten jail becausethey're not going to the
hospital.
So that was one thing that weran into.
(14:18):
But I didn't realize that if wetook them to the hospital, that
you didn't do reports on them.
So that makes a lot of sense.
No wonder you were over therecrossing your fingers.
Tyra Valeriano (14:27):
Yeah, and I mean , like I said, it depends on the
circumstance.
But most of the time if we got,like, a medical call and
somebody's not breathing or youknow, it might be a DOA where
there's been times where youguys actually took the person
and it was a DOA and we werejust like, oh, thank God, like
now we don't have a scene andit's nothing against the
families or anything like that,but really just on the on the
(14:49):
side that we understand, right,the law enforcement side, we
just understand what goes behindall that.
And when you guys actually showup and you take a person that
we're looking at the situation,like, oh, this looks like a DOA,
and then you guys take them in,we're like, okay, we were wrong
, we're sorry, you know 10-8, noreport, we're good, let's go.
So yeah, but other than that,when we would threaten I don't
(15:11):
really think it was a threat, Ithink it was more like it's
either you go to the hospital oryou're going to go to jail
because there's a crime and weknow that you're saying, know,
incarceritis, you don't want togo, and you guys would call it
out.
But unfortunately for you guys,you can't really say we're not
taking you right.
Stacee (15:27):
Yeah, no, we don't have a choice, and that that's funny.
You say that because, yeah,there there are very few
circumstances where we could putour foot down as EMS providers,
one being our safety is injeopardy.
So if they were acting a foolwith us and maybe getting
violent, it's like, okay, you'regoing with PD, they can take
you to the hospital, which isunfortunate for the patient
(15:50):
because you guys don't have theresources that we have in the
back of the ambulance.
When you run into abuse of the911 system and someone's called
multiple times throughout a dayand it's gone on for long
periods of time, even that'svery difficult and tricky to
(16:15):
kind of work around, because youknow you can say, okay, it's
abuse of the 911 system, butwho's to say it's not the one
time that they actually are sickor they actually are in danger,
sort of thing.
Tyra Valeriano (16:29):
Yeah, I remember we had a couple of those people
.
I'm sure we've worked a coupleof those calls together back in
the day.
Oh, yeah, I want to ask youabout you know you being on the
job since what you said, 2016.
Is there any kind of experiencethat's really stuck with you
that you think about?
(16:49):
You know even today that maybehas affected you long term?
Stacee (16:57):
about.
You know, even today that maybehas affected you long-term I
think I could even speak forother EMS providers anything to
do with children.
It really it's just sounnatural, right?
You know things aren't supposedto happen to babies or kiddos
and you know they're supposed tojust be happy and growing.
And you know, innocent andanything when it came to child
abuse or um, child death oranything like that was always
(17:22):
really really difficult.
Um, also, suicides kind ofbothered me.
I mean you, you see so many ofthem, but when you see the young
ones you just wonder what gotthem to that point.
And so, yeah, and I don't knowif you were like this, but when
you would drive by places thatthose types of emergencies
(17:44):
happen, whether it be pediatricor suicides or what have you,
it's like you associate it withwhat emergency went down there.
I don't know if you ever werelike that.
Tyra Valeriano (17:55):
Yeah, you know, and I haven't done any really
storytelling on the podcast, butI will say that there was an
incident it was a suicide at thepark on Grimes.
I don't know if you worked it,but there was a kid, I want to
say he was in high school andand he parked his car there at
(18:15):
the park and he committedsuicide, but with a shotgun, and
I just remember the scene beingunreal.
I couldn't believe what I wasseeing.
I couldn't believe the way helooked.
I couldn't believe that he didthat in a park where there were
families, park where there werefamilies and I remember driving
through that park after thatevery time, you know, to close
(18:39):
the gate on night shift or tomake sure that there was nobody
there past the curfew or thehours that the park was open,
and just thinking, like everytime I would drive by there.
Man, you know, I'll never erasethat from my head and I know a
lot of the law enforcementofficers or I don't.
I don't remember seeing youguys there, but I know that the
law enforcement officers anddetectives that showed up they
were just like this is crazy andI'm sure it affected them.
(18:59):
But yeah, I would say that Idefinitely can associate some
scenes with the experiences thatI've had.
I want to ask you about stress.
So obviously first responderroles are very stressful.
How have you handled yourstress with your job?
Stacee (19:18):
Well, I would say more recently, in the last couple of
years, I've really gotten intothe gym and kind of been
focusing more on my health andspending time with my family,
like prioritizing that time withmy family.
But I would say when I was inthe full-time role I didn't, I
didn't take very good care ofmyself when it came to.
(19:39):
You know, we're, we're up atall hours of the night.
So you know, if we were up at 3AM and we were hungry, as a, as
a crew, we would go and grab apizza or do something like that.
So I'd say, in the last coupleof years I've really learned to
channel, like my stress and, youknow, take it out in the gym or
going on a walk or hanging outwith my husband or things like
(20:02):
that.
It's amazing how simple thosechanges are, but when I was at
the department it didn't feel assimple as just that.
Tyra Valeriano (20:12):
Yeah, you know we have this.
I don't want to call it astigma, but there's more of this
kind of rule that policeofficers don't go home and talk
to their spouse about their day.
They don't really talk aboutsome of the scenes that they
went on and you kind of justkeep it to yourself.
I, on the other hand, was notlike that.
(20:33):
I, you know, if my husbandwanted to know, he was always
interested.
Of course I wouldn't give allthe details, but there were
times where I could vent to himand be like, oh, I went on this
scene and you know it was crazyand I could talk to him.
Is that the same for you guys?
Or were you guys more on thesame side as law enforcement?
Don't talk to your spouse about, you know, what you've seen,
what you've dealt with.
You guys talk about itinternally and that's that.
Stacee (21:03):
I think there were some people that lived by that rule.
I was kind of more like you.
I was open.
I mean we have a thing on themedical side called HIPAA and we
just have to respect, like, nopatient names, no identifying
factors.
But I could talk to my husbandabout things like that.
But I think I had to learnpretty early on that I can't
expect my husband to react inthe same way I do.
So if I felt a certain emotionabout a certain call, that
(21:27):
doesn't mean that he's going tofeel it.
So if I'm telling that storyand expecting this perfect
reaction, I may be disappointed.
So I had to learn to be alittle bit more open-minded in
that regard.
Tyra Valeriano (21:40):
Yeah, no, I understand that.
I feel that when you have aspouse that has a first
responder spouse, it also takesthem time to learn how to
respond or how to listen.
And with that, how do you feelyour husband responded to you?
Was he pretty understandingwith the stressful situations
(22:00):
and job that you had?
Stacee (22:02):
I think I was really fortunate in that my husband
number one was shift work.
He had done it, he had been inthe military and then even his
then job was shift work.
So he understood like when youget home, just go to bed, just
grab you something to eat andthen go lay down and go to work.
So he understood like when youget home, just go to bed, just
grab you something to eat andthen go lay down and go to sleep
.
So I was very fortunate in thatregard.
But I think that, just like Isaid, we kind of had to learn
(22:26):
you know what one another needed.
He was not okay with physicalviolence towards me in any way.
He felt like they should beprosecuted to, you know, just to
the max, and absolutely nobodyshould be putting their hands on
his wife and it's a danger ofthe job.
(22:46):
And it happened a couple oftimes where you know I had
violent patients and you knowthey actually got a hold of me
in the back of the ambulance andhe he had zero tolerance for
that and I'm like, well, it's arisk of the job, like not with
his wife.
So I mean there were somethings that he didn't budge on,
but most of the time we justkind of learned each other and
what one other needed.
(23:07):
So I was fortunate in thatregard.
Tyra Valeriano (23:10):
How do you like teaching?
You know there's a lot of firstresponders that I'm hoping they
don't want to get out, butthere's a lot out there.
Let's just be real.
They want to get out and theywant to know what kind of
transitions they can do.
We're both adjunct instructors.
(23:31):
Obviously, you deal with yourfield and I deal with mine.
But how would you say that rolewas for you and transitioning
into that role from a full-timeposition?
Stacee (23:43):
I really enjoy education , so I really enjoy teaching,
but it definitely was different.
It was a slower pace.
I kind of had to get into themindset of like my baby was more
the college and the university.
And yeah, I would have, youknow, firefighters and EMS
providers and in our area mostof the time they're combined
(24:04):
it's going to be fire and EMStogether.
But I would have them come intoclass and, you know, I think
one of the things that I reallymissed out on was they come in
talking about a call and I'mlike how did it go?
What happened?
Tell me all about it.
You know, I think one of thethings that I really missed out
on was they come in talkingabout a call and I'm like how
did it go?
What happened?
Tell me all about it.
You know, because I missed it.
I missed being in the action,so but I really enjoyed it.
I've enjoyed adjuncting and Istill do it in person, I still
(24:25):
teach in person or as well.
But yeah, that's what I missthe most.
Tyra Valeriano (24:31):
What made you decide to go back and do
part-time?
Stacee (24:35):
That I mean just the fact that I missed it.
I really and also I didn't wantto be that teacher that hadn't
been in the field for 20 years.
But I'm trying to tell thesepeople, these students, how to
do their job and I'm not stayingup on my education, I'm not
running calls, I'm not goingthrough what they're going
through.
Even if I'm not going to do itin 48-hour shifts, I want to be
(24:58):
taking a piece of the pie alittle bit so that I can I don't
know, I don't wanna say havestreet cred, but just keep up
with my knowledge.
Tyra Valeriano (25:08):
Yeah no, I get it, it sounds kind of silly.
No, I get it.
I mean, if I had an option forpart time, I probably would have
done that route, but it's veryhard to find an agency that
actually offers part time.
I do know that there are lawenforcement agencies that do
that, but it's like very rare.
I hardly ever see that.
(25:30):
So I I get it because I think Iwould definitely want to do
part-time if I could.
You miss it as well, I do, Imiss it.
In fact, there was a show thatjust aired, I guess last month,
and I posted it on my socialmedia.
I didn't know that the agencywas on a TV show, it was on Max,
(25:52):
hbo Max or something like that,and I watched it yesterday and
it was really good and it wasall the people that I worked
with in that show and it was anincident that happened a month
after I left.
So I had no clue that it hadhappened and it was my first
time seeing it and getting thedetails of the case and it was
just interesting to watch and itjust made me feel like, you
(26:15):
know, I'm in there with thembecause I used to work with them
and I know every single personand I know the way they respond.
I know the kind of cops theyare and I'm you know I'm
thinking, oh yeah, don't do that.
No, I know they're going tostop, and they did.
See, I knew that firstresponders are always going to
(26:41):
feel this way.
And that kind of brings me tomy next question.
So when you got out the firsttime, before you went into your
part-time role that you have now, how were the relationships
within the agency that you usedto have?
Does it change for you guys?
Because for us it does change.
If you're not in lawenforcement, you will always
remember.
(27:01):
You know the friends, the ties,the relationships, the bonds
that you had.
But sometimes it feels that ifyou're no longer in that circle,
you're no longer in the circle.
So you know it's a hit or missif you're going to be talking to
the same people, the samefriends.
Do you guys experience that too?
Stacee (27:19):
I think so.
I think you know I could runinto any of them in town and
it's going to be hey, how's itgoing?
How's the wife and kids, howyou know, and we'll be able to,
you know, talk.
But of course communicationafter you leave it just falls
off.
And I mean some of some of therelationships that you build
during it.
You keep in contact for an everand ever, but then some are
(27:43):
strictly because you lived thatportion of your life together,
Right.
I mean kind of similar in lawenforcement.
You guys are there, sometimesyou're around them more than
your own family.
So you build these bonds andthen when you leave and you
realize like, like you said, I'mnot really in the crowd anymore
, it can be really sad, itreally can.
Tyra Valeriano (28:04):
Yeah, what about ?
You know I haven't had manyfemale guests on my podcast and
I do have some schedules for thefuture, so I'm looking forward
to that.
But since I have you here, Iwant to know is there any kind
of, you know, stigma or anythingthat you experience that you
feel is because you are female?
(28:26):
Obviously?
An example would be a female inlaw enforcement.
You know we're going to get.
We're going to have to tryextra hard because we have to
prove ourselves If we getpromoted.
You know we're dealing to get.
We're going to have to tryextra hard because we have to
prove ourselves If we getpromoted.
You know we're dealing with oh,she got promoted because she
did X, y and Z instead ofacknowledging work ethic.
You know there's a lot ofthings that we face as a female
(28:47):
in law enforcement.
Do you guys have somethingsimilar in your field?
Stacee (28:51):
I think so I, you know, I tried not to focus too much on
that stigma because I think ata certain point you can get in
your own head and you're like,oh, it's because I'm a female,
but there is, there is a realityto it.
I, what I've noticed is that ifyou get a female that, like you,
in your field, you promote oris in charge on the EMS side,
(29:15):
and you have to haveassertiveness, right Because you
just do to be in a position ofauthority or of you know you're
in charge and then you're takenfor being I don't want to cuss
on your podcast but kind ofbeing a witch, you know, because
it's like you.
(29:40):
You rose through the ranks andit's like now you that that
power has gone to your head andwhat have you?
When in all reality you're justdoing your job.
But on the other end of thespectrum, if you're nice and you
just want to get along witheverybody and you don't want
problems, well then you're thatgirl that is just going to get
stepped on and you're weak,you're not assertive and you
don't deserve to be in aposition of authority.
So I think if you get too muchinto it, it's like, wow, how can
(30:02):
I win?
And that's not.
You know that's not true.
You can find a balance, but itis really hard to find that
balance, being a female in thisfield.
Tyra Valeriano (30:19):
I've always wondered that, and that's
actually something we've neverreally talked about, but I've
always wondered if you guys havethe same problems that we do,
because it is still amale-dominated field that you
work in.
And when I say FIRE and EMS,it's because that's how I know
our agency in our jurisdictionthat we work to be.
I don't know that every agencyworks that way, where it fire
and EMS is combined, but that isjust what I'm accustomed to.
So I know that of course it'smale dominated and fire is going
(30:43):
to have your, you know, yourguys that are just, you know,
not wanting that they don't wanta woman to be telling them what
to do, and I guess it's thesame for both of us.
Stacee (30:54):
Yeah, no, I think so.
I think it's very similar.
Tyra Valeriano (30:59):
What do you think is a common misconception
that law enforcement might haveon EMS or fire in particular?
Stacee (31:07):
perception that you guys have of us.
I don't that we're alwayslooking for refusals, maybe that
we're always looking for thepatient to be like, no, I don't
want to go to the hospital andI'd be a liar if I said that I
(31:29):
never wanted a refusal.
But I, honestly, was alwaystrying to make sure that the
patient didn't want to go, evenwhen they would refuse, because,
ultimately, sure that thepatient didn't want to go, even
when they would refuse, becauseultimately, I mean, you know
there's a side of our job thatinvolves litigation and it
involves like you could be takento court.
But I ran into EMS providersthat that is, all they wanted to
(31:51):
do was get refusals becausethey didn't want to transport
the patient to the hospital.
So I could see how you guyswould see it from our
perspective, kind of like howyou said you stand and you're
like, oh, I hope that I don'thave to like, just take them,
take them to the hospital.
I could see how maybe you couldsee that from our perspective
where it's like no, no, no,don't go to the hospital, we
don't want to take you, sort ofthing.
Tyra Valeriano (32:11):
Yeah and no, and I want to kind of touch back on
that because some people mighttake that the wrong way and
think, oh, they just, you knowthey didn't care about the
person or they didn't want to dotheir job.
It's not that.
It's just there are certainDOAs or people that are not
conscious breathing when youarrive.
That we know are natural causes, but if we're left to deal with
it, we have to do a wholeinvestigation.
(32:32):
It's like we have to shut downthe house.
We have to interview people.
I mean, it's very differentcompared to a homicide scene.
But when we know that it's amedical, you know a medical
concern, and we're just hopingthat you guys take it, because
now we're going to be usingresources.
When we know that it's medical,we still have to do a full
blown investigation.
And I just want to clear thatup because I don't want people
(32:54):
to confuse it with.
You know, there's an actualthing that we need to be
investigating and we're justhoping that medical is going to
take over and we don't have toworry about it.
That's definitely not it.
But I will say a commonmisconception that we may have
of you guys is that you guysdon't like us, that maybe you
guys don't want us messing upyour scene, and I remember
(33:15):
several cases that I went on andyou guys are, you know, doing
your own thing, working away,and you know we're walking in
and we're seeing okay, are theygoing to take?
We're trying, you know, we'retrying to see what's the status
and we're bothering you guysasking questions because we want
to know what we got to do.
But I can see how that can beannoying and that would.
I don't know if that's amisconception, but I'm going to
(33:35):
say it might be.
Maybe we don't bother you guys,but I would say that we can be
kind of annoying sometimes.
Stacee (33:42):
No, I never experienced that.
Honestly, I really, like I said, I leaned on law enforcement,
especially when we were in thosekind of uneasy scenes.
It's like, okay, at least I gotsomeone here who, if crap hits
the fan, we're going to be okay,sort of thing.
So no, but I could.
I mean there were times wherewe would go on accidents and we
(34:05):
would need to go to the hospitaland law enforcement might hop
in the back of the ambulance inorder to get the license of the
patient or what have you.
And I think at those momentswere like, can we snap a picture
?
Can we just take a picturereally quick so we can get to
the hospital?
But I can't.
I can't really think of a timethat I was just super annoyed
with your, with law enforcementpresence.
Tyra Valeriano (34:26):
I do remember that I would.
I'm probably one of thosepeople Cause I've definitely
done that where I'm like, hey, Ineed to get their driver's
license or I need to get theirname, or whatever the case may
be.
But yeah, I can say that I wantto kind of just share we talked
about it earlier about one ofthe cases that we both responded
to and we actually didn't knowthis, that we were together on
(34:47):
scene until we became friendsand then we're like, hey,
weren't you on that scene?
And it was.
It's one of our paranormaltalks and for the listeners who
don't know that, you made avideo on this specific scene and
it went viral.
It went completely viral and Iwant to talk about it because
(35:07):
now it's out there, soeverybody's going to know
whether the TikTok goes away ornot.
There's a ton of people outthere who have heard the story.
So can you just kind of sharewith the listeners that story,
Because you've already told it,so I'll let you tell it again.
Stacee (35:23):
Yeah, we had gone on a call for seizures and it was
kind of odd because we had astage prior to getting there and
I'm sure anyone who listens toyour podcast knows what staging
is.
But basically EMS just kind ofparks a little ways away until
you guys say that everything isall safe and good to go.
And so we were staging forseizures, which we thought was
(35:47):
odd.
But eventually they told usthat the scene was clear and to
come on in.
And then, as we're drivingthere which we're only about, I
don't know, it seemed like aminute minute and a half away, I
don't know, it seemed like aminute minute and a half away
they're coming over the radio PDwants an ETA, pd wants an ETA.
And it's like okay, we'realmost there, sort of thing.
(36:08):
And I'm like what is going onon this scene?
And so we get there and we hadsome law enforcement officers
meet us at the ambulance andthey're like are you good?
Like and this is obviously timehas elapsed.
Everything might not be crystalclear anymore, but this is the
way that I remember it.
Law enforcement met us thereand, are you okay?
(36:28):
We're going to head out ifyou're good.
And I'm like well, why don't wejust hang out for just a second
?
Cause I had no idea what wasgoing on and one of the newer
law enforcement officers shekind of looked at me and she
said I've never seen seizureslike that before and I thought,
ok, what am I about to walk into.
So we walked in and when wewalked in, the patient was on
(36:51):
the floor and everything hadbeen moved out of the middle of
the room.
There was like a Bible layingthere, her spouse was in a full
suit and tie and it wasn't untillater that we had kind of
pieced everything together.
But she was contorted, like shewas kind of putting her body
(37:11):
into weird positions, makingweird noises, like growling,
hissing kind of noises.
It was odd, very unnerving andnothing that you guys could do
for us in that situation.
Like you know, normally it'slike okay, they're violent law
enforcement.
Here you go.
I couldn't.
I mean I, you guys were likeyou gotta do something because
(37:34):
we don't know what's going on.
And so we managed to, you know,get her into the ambulance.
But there was just a lot ofthings associated with that
patient that it kind of made uswonder like, is there something
paranormal going on?
Was there a full-blown exorcismhappening before we got there,
because I think the spouse hadtold me he was a pastor for a
(37:57):
church and, like I said, it wasprobably 11 at night, maybe
midnight, I can't rememberreally well, but it was just and
her kids were terrified,terrified, and she was chanting
and, yeah, it was wild to saythe least.
Tyra Valeriano (38:16):
Yeah, and it's funny because this story I
remember standing outside and Ilooked in there.
I saw I saw the kids, I saw thehusband, I saw her and I
remember I don't remember whowas standing outside with me,
but we stood outside the housefor a little bit and I don't
remember who responded with you,but one of the guys came out
and they were like we're goingto transport and we're like,
(38:45):
okay, we're leaving, and I left.
I don't know if other officersleft, but we had this
conversation because I wanted toknow what happened after that.
Like how do you guys deal withsituations like that?
Because for us we're thinkingthank goodness, because we don't
know what we would have done.
I mean, there's nothing wecould have done, but we're glad
you guys took care of it because, yeah, that's freaky as hell.
So I mean, did you have anexperience on the ambulance?
Stacee (39:05):
Yeah, you know, she woke up and there was just some
chanting and you know, just, itwas so unnerving I had never
experienced anything like thatand just very similar to on
scene, like her body was kind ofcontorted and yeah, it was very
unnerving and me and my partnermy partner and I, we were yeah
(39:27):
it was, it was scary, it wasreally scary and I felt like,
once again back to that stigma,I feel like a wuss or a wimp,
saying I was scared in thissituation.
But it wasn't a situation where, like I said earlier, where I
thought, okay, I'm in immediatedanger of someone beating me up
(39:47):
or something like that.
But it was more on theparanormal side.
And yeah, I did post a videoabout it and people had opinions
.
People were like you should beashamed for talking about that,
and it's like this is normal.
Ems providers are still humanbeings and they have feelings
and things can be unnerving andscary for them, just like you
(40:10):
guys.
Tyra Valeriano (40:11):
Yeah, and that's why I brought it up, because I
know that it's already been outthere and it's something that
people already heard.
And, just like you said, evenfor law enforcement we have a
hard time talking about casesthat we've worked, because
there's just also that fear Am Iallowed to say this, am I
allowed to talk about this?
(40:31):
And you know I don't want tosay the wrong thing and then the
family is upset that I saidsomething.
But at the end of the day, ifyou're just like not identifying
them and you're sharing anexperience, I don't really see
that there's any issue with it.
But it is a very uncomfortablething to do is talk about a case
, especially like this, becausethere are opinions out there.
There are people who theydidn't experience it.
(40:52):
They were looking at it maybeas a medical emergency you know
it could be X, y and Z and hereyou are saying that it's
probably something else.
But I remember clearly lookingat that scene and thinking, yeah
, I don't want to be in there, Ijust want to know that you guys
are going to transport and thenI'm out of here and that's kind
of what I did.
Stacee (41:12):
So I can't even be mad at you with whatever you went
through, because obviously yourexperience was very different
than mine- yeah, yeah it's, andI don't know if you've ever been
on any other calls that madeyou kind of get the that
unnerving, uneasy feeling likethat, but that was one of the
only times I ever felt that way,so it was it was pretty scary.
Tyra Valeriano (41:32):
I actually have only been on one other one and
she was somebody that we dealtwith a lot.
But we went to her house onetime and I went with one of the
guys and she was pointing at meand she was like saying some
kind of chant and she wouldn'tstop pointing at me.
I kept trying to move aroundlike a half circle, you know,
(41:54):
just to kind of keep that Lposition with my partner so we
can have a visual of her.
And she pointed at me the wholetime and I was freaking out
because I was just like what isshe?
What is she saying?
What is she doing?
Is she, is she trying to like,put a hex on me?
What's going on?
And I remember her doing thatfor clearly a whole three
minutes and I just stood therebecause I knew she wasn't going
(42:15):
to stop doing it and my partnerwas trying not to laugh because
for him it's funny, but for meI'm freaking out.
Why is she doing that to me?
I do want to talk about, maybe,some advice that you would give
a new EMT as far as how tohandle stress, now that you've
(42:36):
done the job.
You've done it full-time,you've done it part-time, you've
done it part-time, youunderstand what is the job, what
are the stressors, what is apiece of advice that you could
give somebody who's new so thatthey don't struggle with the
same things that you had toexperience and learn the hard
way?
Stacee (42:54):
One of my biggest pieces of advice, and first and
foremost, is just becausethere's overtime, don't always
take it.
You know, I know in thebeginning it's kind of exciting,
you're learning your job andyou just especially you kind of
get that taste of like, oh, Iwent on that call, oh, I saw
that, and you know and you don'twant to miss out.
(43:14):
It's almost like this FOMOthing that you get, and maybe
not everybody goes through it,but I went through it and I
definitely saw other people gothrough it.
I just don't know that youshould do that, especially in
the beginning, because then yourun the risk of getting burnt
out pretty quick.
One of the other things that Iwould advise that was actually
(43:35):
advice given to me and I didtake it to heart was, you know,
not having to see all of thethings.
So, for example, if we go on acall and you know it's a DOA,
like, say, you guys were workinga murder scene or something,
oftentimes EMS would be calledto maybe pronounce or make sure
(43:56):
that you know the patient hadpassed or what have you, if we
went in a big crew over to thatcall, there's no need for
everyone to go in and I don'tknow.
You probably could understandthis too.
It's, I mean, you remember allthose really traumatic calls
(44:16):
like the murders, the suicides,the things like that, and if you
don't have to have that mentalimage connected to that call,
it's almost a better thing.
I'm not saying push it off onyour partner, but if there's a
partner that's already going inthere and they're going to
confirm death or what have youjust let them?
You don't need to see that, youdon't need that mental image.
(44:38):
So I don't know, that may besomething that people disagree
with because they think teamsyou know crews need to go in all
at once as a team.
Tyra Valeriano (44:50):
But I disagree, yeah, and see, and I feel like
that's, I agree with thatwholeheartedly, even on the law
enforcement side, because for us, I'm going to say that we're
all still pretty nosy.
You know, law enforcement isnosy and a lot of people want to
be cops because they're nosy.
I'm sure that every single lawenforcement officer has driven
past a crash at some point intheir life before they were a
(45:12):
cop and they slowed down becausethey wanted to see what was
going on or what happened.
You know, let me see if I cansee someone.
Everybody just has thatcuriosity and you know, law
enforcement, there are timeswhere you guys don't get called
because we know that there'snothing you guys can do and if
you don't have to respond, thenyou're not going to respond.
But you know, I still rememberthat there were some pretty
(45:37):
gnarly scenes that we would goto just because we wanted to see
what was going on.
And there are some scenes thatweren't mine, that I did that
and I remember them till thisday, you know, and it's not that
they haunt me, but I otherwisewould not know anything about
that scene if I didn't go, butwe just happened to be nosy and
I guess maybe if people don'ttake your advice now, they will
(46:00):
later on in the future.
You know they're just going tohave to live with the decision
of not taking that advice.
Stacee (46:07):
And I truly do believe it does have a residual effect
on the brain, like seeing all ofthose terrible things.
It has a residual effect and ifyou're going to stay in this
field for a while, protect yourbrain as much as you can or as
long as you can.
Tyra Valeriano (46:21):
Yeah, and I agree with that too.
There's we could probably talkso much about the changes that
we both probably have seen.
I feel that the sympathy, maybeempathy, side struggles a lot.
If you do not take care ofyourself, you have a hard time
caring.
You start to see things forwhat they are.
(46:42):
Death is death, and it doesn'tmatter how ugly the scene is or
no matter how bad it was.
It's just.
You start to become accustomedand numb to these things and
it's very hard for you to showthat you care, and this is just
one of those protecting yourbrain.
If you don't do that, even onthe law enforcement side, it's
going to show that you care, andthis is just one of those
protecting your brain.
If you don't do that, even onthe law enforcement side, it's
going to get to you Definitely.
Stacee (47:04):
No 100%.
Tyra Valeriano (47:06):
And we're running out of time, but I do
want to ask you one morequestion.
And what is your, what is yourtake on prioritizing physical
health, being that you know youguys do have some pretty crazy
hours, you guys have someirregular sleeping schedules.
(47:29):
Of course we share that, butyou guys have a little bit
different of a schedule than usand how would you look at
prioritizing physical health nowthat you know that this is what
it's done over the years andyou're trying to get a grasp on
what you've already been throughand make sure it doesn't happen
again?
What do you think your stanceis on that now?
Stacee (47:51):
Just it's utmost importance.
It cannot be put on the backburner.
It will have residual effects.
I mean, it's just like you know, I tell my patients that have
diabetes I'm like you may nothave enough, like a terrible
thing happened today because ofyour diabetes.
It's the long-term effects thatyou have to worry about.
(48:13):
So physical health is everything.
Move your body every single day, even when you don't want to,
and I think you're a greatexample of that.
You know, on social mediayou're like I didn't want to get
up and go to the gym today butI did.
And you know I've been alsoreally getting back into the gym
and strength training multipledays a week and stuff, and I
can't say that it's like so muchfun when I get in there.
(48:36):
But it is such a luxury to beable to move your body every
single day and I'm glad that youknow it kind of woken up and I
realized that because it's Imean I could have ended up being
.
Any of us can end up beingthose patients that we run on.
And so, yeah, while you can,while you're young, build those
(48:56):
muscles, you know.
Get your body out and moving,go on walks and get sunlight.
Vitamin D is so important too.
Tyra Valeriano (49:05):
And eat right.
That's really hard to do in thefirst responder world but yeah,
it's tough but it's definitelya benefit to eat better in the
first responder world.
So if there are any listenersthat want to contact you, maybe
they might have questions aboutsome of the things that you've
(49:26):
dealt with.
I know you mentioned that lawenforcement can take an EMT
class and it's six months.
Maybe there might be somebodywho's out there who's on SWAT or
they're just interested indoing that and having that extra
credential.
How can they contact you?
Stacee (49:43):
So I have.
I am on my social medias.
I'm under Light Sirens ActionEMS.
I have a YouTube channel, Ihave Instagram, tiktok, and I'm
always putting out informationabout EMS.
A lot of times it's more gearedto the people that are already
in EMS.
About EMS.
A lot of times it's more gearedto the people that are already
in EMS, but oftentimes I do makevideos about those considering
(50:03):
it.
So I would definitely say toyou know, reach out, follow me
there.
Yeah, I have a website as well.
It's lightsirensactionemscom.
You can go check me out there.
I have a lot of free education,lots of videos.
But yeah, thank you so much forhaving me on.
It's been good.
I mean, as you said, we'refriends in real life.
(50:23):
But kind of going back andtaking a trip down memory lane
and really connecting the twofirst responder fields because
even though we're so differentand in our jobs, we're so the
same too, if that makes sense,yeah, no, yeah, I agree, it was
really nice to have you on.
Tyra Valeriano (50:40):
I did feel like it might be kind of weird just
because we know each other, butit really helps because you know
I understand where you'recoming from.
We've been on scenes together,we can relate to these things
and I feel like there'slisteners out there that
probably can relate to this too,because not everybody is
listening.
That is a law enforcementofficer, you know.
(51:01):
They might have a family memberor somebody that is working in
your field that is tuning in.
And I think it's important forus to be relatable to each other
because all first responders gothrough very similar mental
health and wellness issues thatare important to talk about.
And if we're all on the samepage and we all understand each
other, that, hey, we're seeingthe same kind of scenes, we're
(51:23):
dealing with the same kind ofstuff.
Even though our job technicallyjust our job description is
different, we're still goingthrough the same things.
And if we can relate to eachother, it just makes that bond a
lot better and we can kind ofbridge that gap, if there is one
.
But, Stacey, thank you forjoining me today.
It was a fun conversation.
I can't wait to talk off theair because there's a lot of
(51:44):
things, of course, that I wantus to discuss, that I'm not
ready for the podcast, buthopefully in the future I can
have you on again and we will betalking about some different
topics.
But thank you for your time.
I appreciate you coming ontoday For the listeners.
Thank you for tuning in and, asalways, be safe, I'll see you
on the next one.
Thank you for joining me onChapter Blue.
(52:08):
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to follow and tag me on
social media and share withyour friends and fellow officers
.
If you're interested in joiningan episode, I'd love for you to
be a part of the conversation.
Until next time, stay safe,take care of yourself and
remember you're never alone inthis journey.
Welcome to Chapter Blue, the podcast where
we discuss the world of lawenforcement through an honest
conversation on tough orcontroversial topics, real
stories, perspectives andexperience from officers all
around the world.
Whether you're here forinsights on mental health,
self-care, work-life balance,getting into law enforcement,
getting out of law enforcement,or just trying to learn about
(00:21):
personal and professionalchallenges officers face every
day, you've come to the rightplace.
I'm your host, tyra Valeriano,and whether I'm going solo or
speaking with a guest, eachepisode will discuss different
aspects of life behind the badge.
Let's turn the page and stepinto Chapter Blue.
Welcome back to Chapter Blue.
(00:41):
I'm pretty excited about todaybecause I opened up the podcast
to all first responders andtheir families, and she is going
to be my first guest that isnot a law enforcement officer.
And the second reason I'mexcited about this interview is
because Stacey and I areactually friends.
But the irony of us beingfriends is that we weren't
friends when we worked together.
We were actually.
(01:02):
We became friends after we bothexited our roles, but since
we've left our original roles,stacey is back working as a
first responder and I'm going tolet her tell you a little bit
more about her background andwhat she is doing today.
So, stacey, thank you forjoining me.
Stacee (01:20):
Thank you so much for having me.
Yes, as she said, my name isStacey and we actually did used
to work together.
I was on the EMS side and I ama paramedic and I've been in EMS
since 2015-2016 time frame andso, yeah, I was full-time in the
field whenever I met you, andnow I'm part-time and I'm more
(01:45):
on the education side.
I teach in class and I alsoteach online and, yeah, so
excited to be here.
Tyra Valeriano (01:54):
Yeah, I'm pretty excited, kind of nervous
because I said a little bitbefore, this is our first time
having a first responder.
That is not law enforcement.
But the reason why I wanted tohave other first responders join
onto the podcast is because youand I have both talked about
mental health and wellness andwe've also had our discussions
about scenes that we've went ontogether and kind of what the
(02:15):
residual effects were afterwards.
Because when you guys takesomebody, we don't really know
what you're doing.
We just kind of hope thatyou're going to take them, or
you know, if you guys leavesomebody with us, then it's our
problem and you guys don't everhave to worry about what we're
doing.
So we've had some interestingconversations like that.
But the first question I wantto ask you is to kind of get on
(02:36):
the topic of mental health andwellness.
But more on your guys' side, isthere anything that you can
think of that really affects EMSor even FIRE, because you've
worked with FIRE particularlythat you know.
Maybe we don't know that youguys face on a daily basis.
Stacee (02:54):
I don't know if there's anything that you guys may not
know, but I think, very similarto what you go through with all
the calls that y'all run on,there's just these little
residual effects and quirks thatyou may develop over time.
And I've noticed it withinmyself after being in EMS and I
can't say, oh, I've been in EMSfor 20 years and I have PTSD.
(03:17):
You might expect someone who'sbeen in for a really long time.
But even after a few years youstart to notice little quirks
within yourself.
I was actually just talkingabout this with someone recently
and there's little things thatI've noticed.
And one thing is I kind ofcatastrophize things.
I kind of think about worstcase scenario.
(03:39):
I kind of think about ourmortality and how we're all this
close to death and that seems abit morbid, but it's just
something that happens when youwork in the field.
And I think you guys probablysee that a lot on the PD side
too, where you've seen so manybad things that you start to
think what, if, what if?
(04:00):
What if it happens to my kid?
What if it happens to me?
And then you start to think howcan I control the situation?
So well, if I don't get on thatplane, then I may not, the
plane may not crash.
It's like you can't live yourlife worrying about all of these
things, but after a while ofseeing all the bad things that
(04:22):
could go wrong, you kind ofworry about them.
It's just natural, I think.
Tyra Valeriano (04:26):
Yeah, I agree with that.
I actually wanted to ask youabout your sleep.
So I know on the PD side wealways give you guys a hard time
, you know.
Oh well, you guys are sleepingwhile we're working, but, to be
honest, you guys do longershifts than us and you guys do
get woken up in the middle ofyour sleep.
So I am curious to hear howyour guys' sleep schedule
(04:48):
affects your daily life, becauseeven though we give you guys a
hard time, we don't know whatthat's like because, yeah, we
work 12 hour shifts.
We might get woken up in themiddle of the night because we
have a hot call that they needextra bodies, but at the end of
the day we still get that extrasleep that you guys don't get.
So what is that like for youguys?
Stacee (05:07):
Oh, it's horrible.
It is horrible.
So the schedule that I workedwas 2448 for a while and then we
switched to 4896.
So we would be two days on andfour days off and I always
thought about how you guys mustthink, running into us at 3 am
because we would try to begetting sleep during that time.
(05:28):
We probably looked crazy, butit definitely took a toll on my
sleep, and I am not the only one.
I think anyone, even still inthe field, probably struggles
with it.
I sleep a lot better now thatI'm not full-time, but it's
still not the same.
It's just the disruption I'm.
Usually I wake up throughoutthe night.
I have zero problem knockingout or going to sleep, but it's
(05:52):
the staying asleep and I was notlike that prior to EMS.
So it definitely has someresidual effects.
Tyra Valeriano (06:00):
So since your break, when you left from your
first agency and now you'reworking with a different
jurisdiction, between that timeframe, did you notice how you
had to adjust your body Like?
Did you have trouble sleeping?
Were you still experiencing thesame things that you were when
you were in your first agency?
I mean, how was the transitionfor you when it came to just
(06:22):
normalizing your body?
Stacee (06:25):
It took quite a while.
It definitely took a while tokind of get into the routine of
going to bed around 10 PM andgetting up at a normal hour and
not, you know, having thoseinterruptions throughout the
night.
And I think I got healthierafter I left and I didn't want
to admit that because I loved myfull-time gig.
(06:46):
It was a blast.
I liked the uncertainty and theadrenaline, rushes and the good
calls where you feel like youmade a difference.
But at the same time it wasvery hard on my health, and not
just sleep-wise, I mean justoverall.
There were days where I wouldhave headaches and not just
sleep wise, I mean just overallI did.
There were days where I wouldhave headaches and not feel good
and I'm sure you can relatewith that where you kind of wake
(07:08):
up, especially in your case ifyou were on night shift, kind of
waking up feeling like a zombiethroughout the day trying to
function like a normal mom, anormal wife.
But it's difficult.
Tyra Valeriano (07:19):
Yeah, what do you think is in maybe on your
side, because right now lawenforcement has the mental
health and wellness just at theforefront.
It's something that we'retrying to push out there is.
Are you guys experiencing thatat all on your side?
I mean, are they talking aboutthis?
Are they trying to give youguys any kind of programs or
(07:40):
resources that can help youthrough these times where you
guys are struggling with sleepor you guys are having any
issues that are coming from thejob?
Stacee (07:49):
I would say it's definitely on the forefront more
than it's ever been.
But we run into a stigma andI'm sure you run into it as well
on the law enforcement sidewhere it's like oh yeah, talk
about the rough calls If you'rehaving difficulty processing or
going through anything, we'llhave a critical stress,
debriefings and things like that.
(08:09):
But as for addressing justnormal day-to-day stuff like
stresses at home, kind ofturning off work and going home
and, like you said, sleep Iwouldn't say that I've noticed a
huge, huge shift.
But I guess, if you compared itto probably back in the 90s or
early 2000s, yeah, there'sdefinitely more talk of mental
health and taking care ofyourself.
Tyra Valeriano (08:33):
You've noticed, like you said, you've noticed a
difference now that you are inpart-time.
So for people who I'm sure wein fact me and you both know, an
officer slash firefighter thathas kind of went between the two
jobs in our agencies.
He went from firefighter to lawenforcement, back to
(08:55):
firefighter, then he went backto law enforcement and I want to
say he's back with fire.
I'm not sure, I'm not sure ifyou know who I'm talking about,
but for that reason you know.
I'm just curious, like is thereany tips that you can give for
maybe officers who want tobecome EMTs and think that, you
know, maybe that's the routethat they want to go?
Is there any advice that youcould provide if that's the
(09:17):
transition that they want tomake?
Stacee (09:20):
I mean I would say definitely, think about it long
and hard, because it is justlike we talked about our shifts.
Our shifts are very similar it'slong hours, it's interrupted
sleep, but on the EMS side wehave obviously different
priorities.
Ours is more medical based,it's more about the patient.
I feel like we still stressscene safety and scene control,
(09:45):
but you guys think about theentire big picture and so it
would just be shifting yourmindset and it's like, okay, are
you ready to be a medical nerdtoo?
Because if that's what you'reinterested in, if you're
interested in the long hours andthe interrupted sleep, but the
medicine part of it, I mean Isay give it a go.
You can always take an EMTclass.
(10:05):
An EMT class is six months,it's one semester, and I think
that would give you a reallygood idea if it's for you.
And then if you want to go onand progress to be an advanced
EMT or to be a paramedic, thenyou can.
But that would give you a basisand, honestly, if you decided
to stay on the PD side, I thinkit would really help you
(10:29):
understand our job when we're onscenes.
Tyra Valeriano (10:33):
What are your guys' opinion about law
enforcement?
I know we've had thisconversation, just as friends.
Do you guys have any pet peevesfrom law enforcement being on
scenes or maybe the way wehandle things?
Is there anything that you guysjust really do not like?
Stacee (10:51):
Oh gosh, you're putting me on the spot here.
So yeah, actually and you and Ihave talked about this I don't
have a ton of complaints aboutmy experience with law
enforcement.
I really leaned on you guys,especially with our behavioral
emergencies where we had violentpatients and things of that
nature.
You guys were kind of oursafety net and so I don't have a
(11:13):
lot of negative to say.
But I will say there were timeswhere I would be on a scene and
be talking to a patient andeverything would be a bit calm
and there were specific officersthat tended to hype the
situation up, maybe beaccusatory towards the patient I
(11:33):
don't know about drugs or theenvironment that they're in
currently or what have you, andit would just make our scene go
from completely calm to a 10.
And it was like really Just letus get them to the ambulance,
you know, give us a second.
But I don't really have a tonof complaints.
(11:54):
I think one thing that youprobably noticed that we've
talked about is I really kept tomyself.
I feel like there's this bigstigma of EMS and cops and
nurses and the flirtation andstuff.
So I always I mean, obviously Iwasn't, it wasn't a concern
with you, but I always just kindof kept my mind on the job and
(12:16):
kind of stayed out of that scenebecause I saw a lot of that.
I saw a lot of our, you knowfemales either on the EMS side
or on PD side, you know, kind ofhanging out with the opposite
one and that's totally fine.
But a lot of times there weremarriages and I'm sure you can
understand things got a littlemuddy.
Tyra Valeriano (12:38):
Yeah, no, we've had that conversation and it's
very relatable, and I think thisis kind of where it comes into
play, where we were not friendswhile we worked together.
We didn't have a problem witheach other, but we really did
keep to ourselves and we weren'treally just social.
I was never social on scenes,even with the female fire EMTs
(13:00):
Nobody, just I just kept tomyself, did my job, and I think
you did the same.
So, yeah, I can see how that isprobably one of the bigger
problems that we have.
I'm going to say for lawenforcement.
I don't, we don't have an issuewith you guys.
I think more we're hoping thatyou guys are going to take.
If you're responding, we'rehoping you're going to take the
person, Because if you take theperson, depending on the
(13:22):
situation, we're not going tohave to do a report, we're not
going to have to call for adetective or whatever the case
may be.
So it's less work for us and Imean you call it lazy, but it's
really not.
It's just now.
It's you guys could just takethe body, you know, like maybe
they need some kind of medicalattention and you know y'all, if
you just take them off thescene.
(13:43):
It's no longer our scene, and Ithink there's been times where
we're really just standing therecrossing our fingers You're
going to take him right, You'regoing to take him or her right,
right, right, and sometimes youguys would and sometimes you
wouldn't, and then that wasprobably the only issue that I
could ever remember.
Stacee (13:57):
You know, you saying that just reminded me there were
times where I would run intoofficers saying, well, if you're
not going with them, you'regoing with us.
And it was like the EMSproviders would be like wait
what?
No, don't threaten jail becausethey're not going to the
hospital.
So that was one thing that weran into.
(14:18):
But I didn't realize that if wetook them to the hospital, that
you didn't do reports on them.
So that makes a lot of sense.
No wonder you were over therecrossing your fingers.
Tyra Valeriano (14:27):
Yeah, and I mean , like I said, it depends on the
circumstance.
But most of the time if we got,like, a medical call and
somebody's not breathing or youknow, it might be a DOA where
there's been times where youguys actually took the person
and it was a DOA and we werejust like, oh, thank God, like
now we don't have a scene andit's nothing against the
families or anything like that,but really just on the on the
(14:49):
side that we understand, right,the law enforcement side, we
just understand what goes behindall that.
And when you guys actually showup and you take a person that
we're looking at the situation,like, oh, this looks like a DOA,
and then you guys take them in,we're like, okay, we were wrong
, we're sorry, you know 10-8, noreport, we're good, let's go.
So yeah, but other than that,when we would threaten I don't
(15:11):
really think it was a threat, Ithink it was more like it's
either you go to the hospital oryou're going to go to jail
because there's a crime and weknow that you're saying, know,
incarceritis, you don't want togo, and you guys would call it
out.
But unfortunately for you guys,you can't really say we're not
taking you right.
Stacee (15:27):
Yeah, no, we don't have a choice, and that that's funny.
You say that because, yeah,there there are very few
circumstances where we could putour foot down as EMS providers,
one being our safety is injeopardy.
So if they were acting a foolwith us and maybe getting
violent, it's like, okay, you'regoing with PD, they can take
you to the hospital, which isunfortunate for the patient
(15:50):
because you guys don't have theresources that we have in the
back of the ambulance.
When you run into abuse of the911 system and someone's called
multiple times throughout a dayand it's gone on for long
periods of time, even that'svery difficult and tricky to
(16:15):
kind of work around, because youknow you can say, okay, it's
abuse of the 911 system, butwho's to say it's not the one
time that they actually are sickor they actually are in danger,
sort of thing.
Tyra Valeriano (16:29):
Yeah, I remember we had a couple of those people
.
I'm sure we've worked a coupleof those calls together back in
the day.
Oh, yeah, I want to ask youabout you know you being on the
job since what you said, 2016.
Is there any kind of experiencethat's really stuck with you
that you think about?
(16:49):
You know even today that maybehas affected you long term?
Stacee (16:57):
about.
You know, even today that maybehas affected you long-term I
think I could even speak forother EMS providers anything to
do with children.
It really it's just sounnatural, right?
You know things aren't supposedto happen to babies or kiddos
and you know they're supposed tojust be happy and growing.
And you know, innocent andanything when it came to child
abuse or um, child death oranything like that was always
(17:22):
really really difficult.
Um, also, suicides kind ofbothered me.
I mean you, you see so many ofthem, but when you see the young
ones you just wonder what gotthem to that point.
And so, yeah, and I don't knowif you were like this, but when
you would drive by places thatthose types of emergencies
(17:44):
happen, whether it be pediatricor suicides or what have you,
it's like you associate it withwhat emergency went down there.
I don't know if you ever werelike that.
Tyra Valeriano (17:55):
Yeah, you know, and I haven't done any really
storytelling on the podcast, butI will say that there was an
incident it was a suicide at thepark on Grimes.
I don't know if you worked it,but there was a kid, I want to
say he was in high school andand he parked his car there at
(18:15):
the park and he committedsuicide, but with a shotgun, and
I just remember the scene beingunreal.
I couldn't believe what I wasseeing.
I couldn't believe the way helooked.
I couldn't believe that he didthat in a park where there were
families, park where there werefamilies and I remember driving
through that park after thatevery time, you know, to close
(18:39):
the gate on night shift or tomake sure that there was nobody
there past the curfew or thehours that the park was open,
and just thinking, like everytime I would drive by there.
Man, you know, I'll never erasethat from my head and I know a
lot of the law enforcementofficers or I don't.
I don't remember seeing youguys there, but I know that the
law enforcement officers anddetectives that showed up they
were just like this is crazy andI'm sure it affected them.
(18:59):
But yeah, I would say that Idefinitely can associate some
scenes with the experiences thatI've had.
I want to ask you about stress.
So obviously first responderroles are very stressful.
How have you handled yourstress with your job?
Stacee (19:18):
Well, I would say more recently, in the last couple of
years, I've really gotten intothe gym and kind of been
focusing more on my health andspending time with my family,
like prioritizing that time withmy family.
But I would say when I was inthe full-time role I didn't, I
didn't take very good care ofmyself when it came to.
(19:39):
You know, we're, we're up atall hours of the night.
So you know, if we were up at 3AM and we were hungry, as a, as
a crew, we would go and grab apizza or do something like that.
So I'd say, in the last coupleof years I've really learned to
channel, like my stress and, youknow, take it out in the gym or
going on a walk or hanging outwith my husband or things like
(20:02):
that.
It's amazing how simple thosechanges are, but when I was at
the department it didn't feel assimple as just that.
Tyra Valeriano (20:12):
Yeah, you know we have this.
I don't want to call it astigma, but there's more of this
kind of rule that policeofficers don't go home and talk
to their spouse about their day.
They don't really talk aboutsome of the scenes that they
went on and you kind of justkeep it to yourself.
I, on the other hand, was notlike that.
(20:33):
I, you know, if my husbandwanted to know, he was always
interested.
Of course I wouldn't give allthe details, but there were
times where I could vent to himand be like, oh, I went on this
scene and you know it was crazyand I could talk to him.
Is that the same for you guys?
Or were you guys more on thesame side as law enforcement?
Don't talk to your spouse about, you know, what you've seen,
what you've dealt with.
You guys talk about itinternally and that's that.
Stacee (21:03):
I think there were some people that lived by that rule.
I was kind of more like you.
I was open.
I mean we have a thing on themedical side called HIPAA and we
just have to respect, like, nopatient names, no identifying
factors.
But I could talk to my husbandabout things like that.
But I think I had to learnpretty early on that I can't
expect my husband to react inthe same way I do.
So if I felt a certain emotionabout a certain call, that
(21:27):
doesn't mean that he's going tofeel it.
So if I'm telling that storyand expecting this perfect
reaction, I may be disappointed.
So I had to learn to be alittle bit more open-minded in
that regard.
Tyra Valeriano (21:40):
Yeah, no, I understand that.
I feel that when you have aspouse that has a first
responder spouse, it also takesthem time to learn how to
respond or how to listen.
And with that, how do you feelyour husband responded to you?
Was he pretty understandingwith the stressful situations
(22:00):
and job that you had?
Stacee (22:02):
I think I was really fortunate in that my husband
number one was shift work.
He had done it, he had been inthe military and then even his
then job was shift work.
So he understood like when youget home, just go to bed, just
grab you something to eat andthen go lay down and go to work.
So he understood like when youget home, just go to bed, just
grab you something to eat andthen go lay down and go to sleep
.
So I was very fortunate in thatregard.
But I think that, just like Isaid, we kind of had to learn
(22:26):
you know what one another needed.
He was not okay with physicalviolence towards me in any way.
He felt like they should beprosecuted to, you know, just to
the max, and absolutely nobodyshould be putting their hands on
his wife and it's a danger ofthe job.
(22:46):
And it happened a couple oftimes where you know I had
violent patients and you knowthey actually got a hold of me
in the back of the ambulance andhe he had zero tolerance for
that and I'm like, well, it's arisk of the job, like not with
his wife.
So I mean there were somethings that he didn't budge on,
but most of the time we justkind of learned each other and
what one other needed.
(23:07):
So I was fortunate in thatregard.
Tyra Valeriano (23:10):
How do you like teaching?
You know there's a lot of firstresponders that I'm hoping they
don't want to get out, butthere's a lot out there.
Let's just be real.
They want to get out and theywant to know what kind of
transitions they can do.
We're both adjunct instructors.
(23:31):
Obviously, you deal with yourfield and I deal with mine.
But how would you say that rolewas for you and transitioning
into that role from a full-timeposition?
Stacee (23:43):
I really enjoy education , so I really enjoy teaching,
but it definitely was different.
It was a slower pace.
I kind of had to get into themindset of like my baby was more
the college and the university.
And yeah, I would have, youknow, firefighters and EMS
providers and in our area mostof the time they're combined
(24:04):
it's going to be fire and EMStogether.
But I would have them come intoclass and, you know, I think
one of the things that I reallymissed out on was they come in
talking about a call and I'mlike how did it go?
What happened?
Tell me all about it.
You know, I think one of thethings that I really missed out
on was they come in talkingabout a call and I'm like how
did it go?
What happened?
Tell me all about it.
You know, because I missed it.
I missed being in the action,so but I really enjoyed it.
I've enjoyed adjuncting and Istill do it in person, I still
(24:25):
teach in person or as well.
But yeah, that's what I missthe most.
Tyra Valeriano (24:31):
What made you decide to go back and do
part-time?
Stacee (24:35):
That I mean just the fact that I missed it.
I really and also I didn't wantto be that teacher that hadn't
been in the field for 20 years.
But I'm trying to tell thesepeople, these students, how to
do their job and I'm not stayingup on my education, I'm not
running calls, I'm not goingthrough what they're going
through.
Even if I'm not going to do itin 48-hour shifts, I want to be
(24:58):
taking a piece of the pie alittle bit so that I can I don't
know, I don't wanna say havestreet cred, but just keep up
with my knowledge.
Tyra Valeriano (25:08):
Yeah no, I get it, it sounds kind of silly.
No, I get it.
I mean, if I had an option forpart time, I probably would have
done that route, but it's veryhard to find an agency that
actually offers part time.
I do know that there are lawenforcement agencies that do
that, but it's like very rare.
I hardly ever see that.
(25:30):
So I I get it because I think Iwould definitely want to do
part-time if I could.
You miss it as well, I do, Imiss it.
In fact, there was a show thatjust aired, I guess last month,
and I posted it on my socialmedia.
I didn't know that the agencywas on a TV show, it was on Max,
(25:52):
hbo Max or something like that,and I watched it yesterday and
it was really good and it wasall the people that I worked
with in that show and it was anincident that happened a month
after I left.
So I had no clue that it hadhappened and it was my first
time seeing it and getting thedetails of the case and it was
just interesting to watch and itjust made me feel like, you
(26:15):
know, I'm in there with thembecause I used to work with them
and I know every single personand I know the way they respond.
I know the kind of cops theyare and I'm you know I'm
thinking, oh yeah, don't do that.
No, I know they're going tostop, and they did.
See, I knew that firstresponders are always going to
(26:41):
feel this way.
And that kind of brings me tomy next question.
So when you got out the firsttime, before you went into your
part-time role that you have now, how were the relationships
within the agency that you usedto have?
Does it change for you guys?
Because for us it does change.
If you're not in lawenforcement, you will always
remember.
(27:01):
You know the friends, the ties,the relationships, the bonds
that you had.
But sometimes it feels that ifyou're no longer in that circle,
you're no longer in the circle.
So you know it's a hit or missif you're going to be talking to
the same people, the samefriends.
Do you guys experience that too?
Stacee (27:19):
I think so.
I think you know I could runinto any of them in town and
it's going to be hey, how's itgoing?
How's the wife and kids, howyou know, and we'll be able to,
you know, talk.
But of course communicationafter you leave it just falls
off.
And I mean some of some of therelationships that you build
during it.
You keep in contact for an everand ever, but then some are
(27:43):
strictly because you lived thatportion of your life together,
Right.
I mean kind of similar in lawenforcement.
You guys are there, sometimesyou're around them more than
your own family.
So you build these bonds andthen when you leave and you
realize like, like you said, I'mnot really in the crowd anymore
, it can be really sad, itreally can.
Tyra Valeriano (28:04):
Yeah, what about ?
You know I haven't had manyfemale guests on my podcast and
I do have some schedules for thefuture, so I'm looking forward
to that.
But since I have you here, Iwant to know is there any kind
of, you know, stigma or anythingthat you experience that you
feel is because you are female?
(28:26):
Obviously?
An example would be a female inlaw enforcement.
You know we're going to get.
We're going to have to tryextra hard because we have to
prove ourselves If we getpromoted.
You know we're dealing to get.
We're going to have to tryextra hard because we have to
prove ourselves If we getpromoted.
You know we're dealing with oh,she got promoted because she
did X, y and Z instead ofacknowledging work ethic.
You know there's a lot ofthings that we face as a female
(28:47):
in law enforcement.
Do you guys have somethingsimilar in your field?
Stacee (28:51):
I think so I, you know, I tried not to focus too much on
that stigma because I think ata certain point you can get in
your own head and you're like,oh, it's because I'm a female,
but there is, there is a realityto it.
I, what I've noticed is that ifyou get a female that, like you,
in your field, you promote oris in charge on the EMS side,
(29:15):
and you have to haveassertiveness, right Because you
just do to be in a position ofauthority or of you know you're
in charge and then you're takenfor being I don't want to cuss
on your podcast but kind ofbeing a witch, you know, because
it's like you.
(29:40):
You rose through the ranks andit's like now you that that
power has gone to your head andwhat have you?
When in all reality you're justdoing your job.
But on the other end of thespectrum, if you're nice and you
just want to get along witheverybody and you don't want
problems, well then you're thatgirl that is just going to get
stepped on and you're weak,you're not assertive and you
don't deserve to be in aposition of authority.
So I think if you get too muchinto it, it's like, wow, how can
(30:02):
I win?
And that's not.
You know that's not true.
You can find a balance, but itis really hard to find that
balance, being a female in thisfield.
Tyra Valeriano (30:19):
I've always wondered that, and that's
actually something we've neverreally talked about, but I've
always wondered if you guys havethe same problems that we do,
because it is still amale-dominated field that you
work in.
And when I say FIRE and EMS,it's because that's how I know
our agency in our jurisdictionthat we work to be.
I don't know that every agencyworks that way, where it fire
and EMS is combined, but that isjust what I'm accustomed to.
So I know that of course it'smale dominated and fire is going
(30:43):
to have your, you know, yourguys that are just, you know,
not wanting that they don't wanta woman to be telling them what
to do, and I guess it's thesame for both of us.
Stacee (30:54):
Yeah, no, I think so.
I think it's very similar.
Tyra Valeriano (30:59):
What do you think is a common misconception
that law enforcement might haveon EMS or fire in particular?
Stacee (31:07):
perception that you guys have of us.
I don't that we're alwayslooking for refusals, maybe that
we're always looking for thepatient to be like, no, I don't
want to go to the hospital andI'd be a liar if I said that I
(31:29):
never wanted a refusal.
But I, honestly, was alwaystrying to make sure that the
patient didn't want to go, evenwhen they would refuse, because,
ultimately, sure that thepatient didn't want to go, even
when they would refuse, becauseultimately, I mean, you know
there's a side of our job thatinvolves litigation and it
involves like you could be takento court.
But I ran into EMS providersthat that is, all they wanted to
(31:51):
do was get refusals becausethey didn't want to transport
the patient to the hospital.
So I could see how you guyswould see it from our
perspective, kind of like howyou said you stand and you're
like, oh, I hope that I don'thave to like, just take them,
take them to the hospital.
I could see how maybe you couldsee that from our perspective
where it's like no, no, no,don't go to the hospital, we
don't want to take you, sort ofthing.
Tyra Valeriano (32:11):
Yeah and no, and I want to kind of touch back on
that because some people mighttake that the wrong way and
think, oh, they just, you knowthey didn't care about the
person or they didn't want to dotheir job.
It's not that.
It's just there are certainDOAs or people that are not
conscious breathing when youarrive.
That we know are natural causes, but if we're left to deal with
it, we have to do a wholeinvestigation.
(32:32):
It's like we have to shut downthe house.
We have to interview people.
I mean, it's very differentcompared to a homicide scene.
But when we know that it's amedical, you know a medical
concern, and we're just hopingthat you guys take it, because
now we're going to be usingresources.
When we know that it's medical,we still have to do a full
blown investigation.
And I just want to clear thatup because I don't want people
(32:54):
to confuse it with.
You know, there's an actualthing that we need to be
investigating and we're justhoping that medical is going to
take over and we don't have toworry about it.
That's definitely not it.
But I will say a commonmisconception that we may have
of you guys is that you guysdon't like us, that maybe you
guys don't want us messing upyour scene, and I remember
(33:15):
several cases that I went on andyou guys are, you know, doing
your own thing, working away,and you know we're walking in
and we're seeing okay, are theygoing to take?
We're trying, you know, we'retrying to see what's the status
and we're bothering you guysasking questions because we want
to know what we got to do.
But I can see how that can beannoying and that would.
I don't know if that's amisconception, but I'm going to
(33:35):
say it might be.
Maybe we don't bother you guys,but I would say that we can be
kind of annoying sometimes.
Stacee (33:42):
No, I never experienced that.
Honestly, I really, like I said, I leaned on law enforcement,
especially when we were in thosekind of uneasy scenes.
It's like, okay, at least I gotsomeone here who, if crap hits
the fan, we're going to be okay,sort of thing.
So no, but I could.
I mean there were times wherewe would go on accidents and we
(34:05):
would need to go to the hospitaland law enforcement might hop
in the back of the ambulance inorder to get the license of the
patient or what have you.
And I think at those momentswere like, can we snap a picture
?
Can we just take a picturereally quick so we can get to
the hospital?
But I can't.
I can't really think of a timethat I was just super annoyed
with your, with law enforcementpresence.
Tyra Valeriano (34:26):
I do remember that I would.
I'm probably one of thosepeople Cause I've definitely
done that where I'm like, hey, Ineed to get their driver's
license or I need to get theirname, or whatever the case may
be.
But yeah, I can say that I wantto kind of just share we talked
about it earlier about one ofthe cases that we both responded
to and we actually didn't knowthis, that we were together on
(34:47):
scene until we became friendsand then we're like, hey,
weren't you on that scene?
And it was.
It's one of our paranormaltalks and for the listeners who
don't know that, you made avideo on this specific scene and
it went viral.
It went completely viral and Iwant to talk about it because
(35:07):
now it's out there, soeverybody's going to know
whether the TikTok goes away ornot.
There's a ton of people outthere who have heard the story.
So can you just kind of sharewith the listeners that story,
Because you've already told it,so I'll let you tell it again.
Stacee (35:23):
Yeah, we had gone on a call for seizures and it was
kind of odd because we had astage prior to getting there and
I'm sure anyone who listens toyour podcast knows what staging
is.
But basically EMS just kind ofparks a little ways away until
you guys say that everything isall safe and good to go.
And so we were staging forseizures, which we thought was
(35:47):
odd.
But eventually they told usthat the scene was clear and to
come on in.
And then, as we're drivingthere which we're only about, I
don't know, it seemed like aminute minute and a half away, I
don't know, it seemed like aminute minute and a half away
they're coming over the radio PDwants an ETA, pd wants an ETA.
And it's like okay, we'realmost there, sort of thing.
(36:08):
And I'm like what is going onon this scene?
And so we get there and we hadsome law enforcement officers
meet us at the ambulance andthey're like are you good?
Like and this is obviously timehas elapsed.
Everything might not be crystalclear anymore, but this is the
way that I remember it.
Law enforcement met us thereand, are you okay?
(36:28):
We're going to head out ifyou're good.
And I'm like well, why don't wejust hang out for just a second
?
Cause I had no idea what wasgoing on and one of the newer
law enforcement officers shekind of looked at me and she
said I've never seen seizureslike that before and I thought,
ok, what am I about to walk into.
So we walked in and when wewalked in, the patient was on
(36:51):
the floor and everything hadbeen moved out of the middle of
the room.
There was like a Bible layingthere, her spouse was in a full
suit and tie and it wasn't untillater that we had kind of
pieced everything together.
But she was contorted, like shewas kind of putting her body
(37:11):
into weird positions, makingweird noises, like growling,
hissing kind of noises.
It was odd, very unnerving andnothing that you guys could do
for us in that situation.
Like you know, normally it'slike okay, they're violent law
enforcement.
Here you go.
I couldn't.
I mean I, you guys were likeyou gotta do something because
(37:34):
we don't know what's going on.
And so we managed to, you know,get her into the ambulance.
But there was just a lot ofthings associated with that
patient that it kind of made uswonder like, is there something
paranormal going on?
Was there a full-blown exorcismhappening before we got there,
because I think the spouse hadtold me he was a pastor for a
(37:57):
church and, like I said, it wasprobably 11 at night, maybe
midnight, I can't rememberreally well, but it was just and
her kids were terrified,terrified, and she was chanting
and, yeah, it was wild to saythe least.
Tyra Valeriano (38:16):
Yeah, and it's funny because this story I
remember standing outside and Ilooked in there.
I saw I saw the kids, I saw thehusband, I saw her and I
remember I don't remember whowas standing outside with me,
but we stood outside the housefor a little bit and I don't
remember who responded with you,but one of the guys came out
and they were like we're goingto transport and we're like,
(38:45):
okay, we're leaving, and I left.
I don't know if other officersleft, but we had this
conversation because I wanted toknow what happened after that.
Like how do you guys deal withsituations like that?
Because for us we're thinkingthank goodness, because we don't
know what we would have done.
I mean, there's nothing wecould have done, but we're glad
you guys took care of it because, yeah, that's freaky as hell.
So I mean, did you have anexperience on the ambulance?
Stacee (39:05):
Yeah, you know, she woke up and there was just some
chanting and you know, just, itwas so unnerving I had never
experienced anything like thatand just very similar to on
scene, like her body was kind ofcontorted and yeah, it was very
unnerving and me and my partnermy partner and I, we were yeah
(39:27):
it was, it was scary, it wasreally scary and I felt like,
once again back to that stigma,I feel like a wuss or a wimp,
saying I was scared in thissituation.
But it wasn't a situation where, like I said earlier, where I
thought, okay, I'm in immediatedanger of someone beating me up
(39:47):
or something like that.
But it was more on theparanormal side.
And yeah, I did post a videoabout it and people had opinions
.
People were like you should beashamed for talking about that,
and it's like this is normal.
Ems providers are still humanbeings and they have feelings
and things can be unnerving andscary for them, just like you
(40:10):
guys.
Tyra Valeriano (40:11):
Yeah, and that's why I brought it up, because I
know that it's already been outthere and it's something that
people already heard.
And, just like you said, evenfor law enforcement we have a
hard time talking about casesthat we've worked, because
there's just also that fear Am Iallowed to say this, am I
allowed to talk about this?
(40:31):
And you know I don't want tosay the wrong thing and then the
family is upset that I saidsomething.
But at the end of the day, ifyou're just like not identifying
them and you're sharing anexperience, I don't really see
that there's any issue with it.
But it is a very uncomfortablething to do is talk about a case
, especially like this, becausethere are opinions out there.
There are people who theydidn't experience it.
(40:52):
They were looking at it maybeas a medical emergency you know
it could be X, y and Z and hereyou are saying that it's
probably something else.
But I remember clearly lookingat that scene and thinking, yeah
, I don't want to be in there, Ijust want to know that you guys
are going to transport and thenI'm out of here and that's kind
of what I did.
Stacee (41:12):
So I can't even be mad at you with whatever you went
through, because obviously yourexperience was very different
than mine- yeah, yeah it's, andI don't know if you've ever been
on any other calls that madeyou kind of get the that
unnerving, uneasy feeling likethat, but that was one of the
only times I ever felt that way,so it was it was pretty scary.
Tyra Valeriano (41:32):
I actually have only been on one other one and
she was somebody that we dealtwith a lot.
But we went to her house onetime and I went with one of the
guys and she was pointing at meand she was like saying some
kind of chant and she wouldn'tstop pointing at me.
I kept trying to move aroundlike a half circle, you know,
(41:54):
just to kind of keep that Lposition with my partner so we
can have a visual of her.
And she pointed at me the wholetime and I was freaking out
because I was just like what isshe?
What is she saying?
What is she doing?
Is she, is she trying to like,put a hex on me?
What's going on?
And I remember her doing thatfor clearly a whole three
minutes and I just stood therebecause I knew she wasn't going
(42:15):
to stop doing it and my partnerwas trying not to laugh because
for him it's funny, but for meI'm freaking out.
Why is she doing that to me?
I do want to talk about, maybe,some advice that you would give
a new EMT as far as how tohandle stress, now that you've
(42:36):
done the job.
You've done it full-time,you've done it part-time, you've
done it part-time, youunderstand what is the job, what
are the stressors, what is apiece of advice that you could
give somebody who's new so thatthey don't struggle with the
same things that you had toexperience and learn the hard
way?
Stacee (42:54):
One of my biggest pieces of advice, and first and
foremost, is just becausethere's overtime, don't always
take it.
You know, I know in thebeginning it's kind of exciting,
you're learning your job andyou just especially you kind of
get that taste of like, oh, Iwent on that call, oh, I saw
that, and you know and you don'twant to miss out.
(43:14):
It's almost like this FOMOthing that you get, and maybe
not everybody goes through it,but I went through it and I
definitely saw other people gothrough it.
I just don't know that youshould do that, especially in
the beginning, because then yourun the risk of getting burnt
out pretty quick.
One of the other things that Iwould advise that was actually
(43:35):
advice given to me and I didtake it to heart was, you know,
not having to see all of thethings.
So, for example, if we go on acall and you know it's a DOA,
like, say, you guys were workinga murder scene or something,
oftentimes EMS would be calledto maybe pronounce or make sure
(43:56):
that you know the patient hadpassed or what have you, if we
went in a big crew over to thatcall, there's no need for
everyone to go in and I don'tknow.
You probably could understandthis too.
It's, I mean, you remember allthose really traumatic calls
(44:16):
like the murders, the suicides,the things like that, and if you
don't have to have that mentalimage connected to that call,
it's almost a better thing.
I'm not saying push it off onyour partner, but if there's a
partner that's already going inthere and they're going to
confirm death or what have youjust let them?
You don't need to see that, youdon't need that mental image.
(44:38):
So I don't know, that may besomething that people disagree
with because they think teamsyou know crews need to go in all
at once as a team.
Tyra Valeriano (44:50):
But I disagree, yeah, and see, and I feel like
that's, I agree with thatwholeheartedly, even on the law
enforcement side, because for us, I'm going to say that we're
all still pretty nosy.
You know, law enforcement isnosy and a lot of people want to
be cops because they're nosy.
I'm sure that every single lawenforcement officer has driven
past a crash at some point intheir life before they were a
(45:12):
cop and they slowed down becausethey wanted to see what was
going on or what happened.
You know, let me see if I cansee someone.
Everybody just has thatcuriosity and you know, law
enforcement, there are timeswhere you guys don't get called
because we know that there'snothing you guys can do and if
you don't have to respond, thenyou're not going to respond.
But you know, I still rememberthat there were some pretty
(45:37):
gnarly scenes that we would goto just because we wanted to see
what was going on.
And there are some scenes thatweren't mine, that I did that
and I remember them till thisday, you know, and it's not that
they haunt me, but I otherwisewould not know anything about
that scene if I didn't go, butwe just happened to be nosy and
I guess maybe if people don'ttake your advice now, they will
(46:00):
later on in the future.
You know they're just going tohave to live with the decision
of not taking that advice.
Stacee (46:07):
And I truly do believe it does have a residual effect
on the brain, like seeing all ofthose terrible things.
It has a residual effect and ifyou're going to stay in this
field for a while, protect yourbrain as much as you can or as
long as you can.
Tyra Valeriano (46:21):
Yeah, and I agree with that too.
There's we could probably talkso much about the changes that
we both probably have seen.
I feel that the sympathy, maybeempathy, side struggles a lot.
If you do not take care ofyourself, you have a hard time
caring.
You start to see things forwhat they are.
(46:42):
Death is death, and it doesn'tmatter how ugly the scene is or
no matter how bad it was.
It's just.
You start to become accustomedand numb to these things and
it's very hard for you to showthat you care, and this is just
one of those protecting yourbrain.
If you don't do that, even onthe law enforcement side, it's
going to show that you care, andthis is just one of those
protecting your brain.
If you don't do that, even onthe law enforcement side, it's
going to get to you Definitely.
Stacee (47:04):
No 100%.
Tyra Valeriano (47:06):
And we're running out of time, but I do
want to ask you one morequestion.
And what is your, what is yourtake on prioritizing physical
health, being that you know youguys do have some pretty crazy
hours, you guys have someirregular sleeping schedules.
(47:29):
Of course we share that, butyou guys have a little bit
different of a schedule than usand how would you look at
prioritizing physical health nowthat you know that this is what
it's done over the years andyou're trying to get a grasp on
what you've already been throughand make sure it doesn't happen
again?
What do you think your stanceis on that now?
Stacee (47:51):
Just it's utmost importance.
It cannot be put on the backburner.
It will have residual effects.
I mean, it's just like you know, I tell my patients that have
diabetes I'm like you may nothave enough, like a terrible
thing happened today because ofyour diabetes.
It's the long-term effects thatyou have to worry about.
(48:13):
So physical health is everything.
Move your body every single day, even when you don't want to,
and I think you're a greatexample of that.
You know, on social mediayou're like I didn't want to get
up and go to the gym today butI did.
And you know I've been alsoreally getting back into the gym
and strength training multipledays a week and stuff, and I
can't say that it's like so muchfun when I get in there.
(48:36):
But it is such a luxury to beable to move your body every
single day and I'm glad that youknow it kind of woken up and I
realized that because it's Imean I could have ended up being
.
Any of us can end up beingthose patients that we run on.
And so, yeah, while you can,while you're young, build those
(48:56):
muscles, you know.
Get your body out and moving,go on walks and get sunlight.
Vitamin D is so important too.
Tyra Valeriano (49:05):
And eat right.
That's really hard to do in thefirst responder world but yeah,
it's tough but it's definitelya benefit to eat better in the
first responder world.
So if there are any listenersthat want to contact you, maybe
they might have questions aboutsome of the things that you've
(49:26):
dealt with.
I know you mentioned that lawenforcement can take an EMT
class and it's six months.
Maybe there might be somebodywho's out there who's on SWAT or
they're just interested indoing that and having that extra
credential.
How can they contact you?
Stacee (49:43):
So I have.
I am on my social medias.
I'm under Light Sirens ActionEMS.
I have a YouTube channel, Ihave Instagram, tiktok, and I'm
always putting out informationabout EMS.
A lot of times it's more gearedto the people that are already
in EMS.
About EMS.
A lot of times it's more gearedto the people that are already
in EMS, but oftentimes I do makevideos about those considering
(50:03):
it.
So I would definitely say toyou know, reach out, follow me
there.
Yeah, I have a website as well.
It's lightsirensactionemscom.
You can go check me out there.
I have a lot of free education,lots of videos.
But yeah, thank you so much forhaving me on.
It's been good.
I mean, as you said, we'refriends in real life.
(50:23):
But kind of going back andtaking a trip down memory lane
and really connecting the twofirst responder fields because
even though we're so differentand in our jobs, we're so the
same too, if that makes sense,yeah, no, yeah, I agree, it was
really nice to have you on.
Tyra Valeriano (50:40):
I did feel like it might be kind of weird just
because we know each other, butit really helps because you know
I understand where you'recoming from.
We've been on scenes together,we can relate to these things
and I feel like there'slisteners out there that
probably can relate to this too,because not everybody is
listening.
That is a law enforcementofficer, you know.
(51:01):
They might have a family memberor somebody that is working in
your field that is tuning in.
And I think it's important forus to be relatable to each other
because all first responders gothrough very similar mental
health and wellness issues thatare important to talk about.
And if we're all on the samepage and we all understand each
other, that, hey, we're seeingthe same kind of scenes, we're
(51:23):
dealing with the same kind ofstuff.
Even though our job technicallyjust our job description is
different, we're still goingthrough the same things.
And if we can relate to eachother, it just makes that bond a
lot better and we can kind ofbridge that gap, if there is one
.
But, Stacey, thank you forjoining me today.
It was a fun conversation.
I can't wait to talk off theair because there's a lot of
(51:44):
things, of course, that I wantus to discuss, that I'm not
ready for the podcast, buthopefully in the future I can
have you on again and we will betalking about some different
topics.
But thank you for your time.
I appreciate you coming ontoday For the listeners.
Thank you for tuning in and, asalways, be safe, I'll see you
on the next one.
Thank you for joining me onChapter Blue.
(52:08):
If you enjoyed today's episode,be sure to follow and tag me on
social media and share withyour friends and fellow officers
.
If you're interested in joiningan episode, I'd love for you to
be a part of the conversation.
Until next time, stay safe,take care of yourself and
remember you're never alone inthis journey.
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