March 27, 2025 • 39 mins
What’s the one decision that could make or break your success? According to this collection of powerful stories from top performers and entrepreneurs—it’s your choice of mentor and spouse.
In this powerful episode of the Charge Forward Podcast, host Jim Cripps sits down with a variety of inspiring guests—Chris Neville, Nick Hiter, Virgil Herring, Jason Lewis, Colby Jubenville, El Lagutin, Carissa Oakey, Jeremy Qualls, Bob Learn Jr., Miles & Jill Reidelberger , Amber Wotring, Jordan Grubbs, Jamie Steelman, Steve & Bre Price, and more—to explore the deep impact that personal and professional partnerships have on long-term success.
You'll hear real stories of:
- Mentors who instilled unshakable belief and discipline
- Spouses who refused to let their partners settle or give up
- Complementary personalities that created unstoppable teams
- What “don’t self-select” really means—and how to stop playing small
- Why shared values, support, and challenge create the ultimate advantage
Whether you’re a business owner, leader, athlete, or anyone chasing big goals—this episode will remind you that who you surround yourself with can change your life.
✅ Tune in now and discover the underestimated superpowers of mentorship and marriage.
🎧 Listen. Learn. Charge Forward.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
You are the cap for whatever goes on in your store,
in your company, in yourdistrict, in your household.
However excited you are, whatyou believe is possible,
whatever that threshold is thisis a question that we have not
(00:22):
talked about, but it comes up inalmost every episode,
especially when it's couples orentrepreneurs is how much would
you say your success has beentied to the fact that you found
the right spouse?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I mean, I think that it's absolutely imperative that
you're finding the right spouseto support you right, that it's
absolutely imperative that youfinding the right spouse to
support you right and creating acreating life and creating a
family is important to be ableto, to have a solid foundation
to build upon Right.
And I think, and I can, I can'tcommend my spouse, kayla,
enough to be able to support meand my crazy ideas and my crazy.
You know my high energy andhigh, high, you know mental
(01:02):
capacity.
We'll call it and and you knowI never, never, never, thought
we'd be where we're at and I'mfortunate that we are and I
can't.
Yeah, it's 100%.
We wouldn't be able to buildanything without that foundation
.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Well, I think we're both lucky in that regard,
because my wife will tell youI'm too much and mine is.
Emily is just steady and Ithink Kayla is very much the
same for you.
Absolutely, and it's thatbalance right.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yep, she's cool, calm and collected.
I'm the highly motivated move,move, move, go, go go ask
questions later, make it happen.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I think too and, like we talked about, this comes up
in almost every episode you hadbacking from your spouse in that
you were supporting him makinga big change, and also when you
were growing a clinic, he wassupporting you, and so you guys
are supporting each other.
Definitely reciprocated yeah.
And so in your opinion, youknow you guys have been together
(01:57):
.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
What 20 years right, Just celebrate our 20th 20th
anniversary.
Well, congratulations.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
That's fantastic and you've got two great kids, Thank
you.
You know we uh, branch andcastle, hang out all the time.
Um, how impactful to your life,or how much of your success do
you think is attributed to thefact that you you got the right
spouse, that you you pickedcorrectly and you were
supporting each other?
Do you want to answer this?
Speaker 6 (02:21):
Well, I just want to point out I don't think it's
necessarily the success of thebusinesses.
I think it's uh led to myhappiness, like if I didn't have
the right spouse.
I mean, I see what some ofthese uh couples go through and
we even say to each other like,oh, thank god, I'm happy, I, I
hope she's happy, but uhentering the dating scene again,
(02:43):
or something like that Well youknow, sex is important and we
prioritize that in our life.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
It's part of it really, and you know, I think
that we have two businesses, butmaking our marriage a priority
is something we said at thebeginning.
We said that we didn't want tobe in business together if it
meant that it was going tocompromise our marriage.
So we have to.
We always make it a priority toset time aside for ourselves.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
And she's.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
She's better than I am, but she'll be like no,
you're spending time with metoday and thank God she does
Cause that's, that's how it tohave the right partner, to have
(03:30):
the right spouse that supportsyou, that you live this life
with all the way.
Speaker 8 (03:37):
I mean, it's everything for me.
I can speak on that.
Going back to what I said was adifficult answer was to talk
about some of the thoughts thatI was dealt, you know, growing
up and the fact that it's notfor us, you know, it's not going
to happen.
You know, and in kind ofpigeonholing, thinking Well, my
(04:03):
sister worked in a salon and Icame home for a free haircut and
there was this new girl in thesalon and I asked my sister who
this new girl was and and if youcould ask her if she was busy,
because I think I want to meether and see if she'll cut my
hair for me.
And and I met this girl namedstacy and, uh, we went on a date
(04:26):
the next night and, well,changed my life.
Um, she's been such a greatsupport.
She.
The first thing she said to meis like um, you throw this ball
amazing, and why haven't youdone more in a sport?
And I'm like, wait, what no onehad ever quite said it to me
(04:46):
like that and her belief in mein all things sense, and
following whatever path I wastaken in, believing and
supporting that has been amazing, and it's not easy to find
someone like that.
She has supported me from dayone.
(05:09):
The other is she gave me purpose.
We had a family, and that never, let me say, I quit Right,
because it was having that wholepackage that you needed to
drive you, because you couldn'tgive up.
You had to keep going.
You had to keep going and workharder.
(05:30):
But she always supported thatand she in fact would be like
what are you doing?
Today?
I'm like well, I thought I'dtake the kids.
Well, don't you have topractice?
You know like no, go, practicefirst, we'll be okay, we'll wait
to get back.
And you know I had a prettystrong regimen as far as how
much time I put into it and shedidn't want that to change.
(05:50):
Even when I became comfortableon tour and made quite a bit
more money, she's like no,that's what got you there.
You can't now just kick back go.
I made it because you're goingto fall right back.
So she saw that and she made mework harder than, uh, you know
I wanted to, simply because Iwant to be with my family more,
(06:11):
and she understood that.
But she said, no, you're doingthis for us, you're going out
there and you're doing this forus, so you are taking care of
your family.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, and again, I think it goes right back to kind
of the.
The mission of the charge forpodcasts is people who don't
give up, like I think you saidit perfectly.
You said you, you, you couldn'timagine giving up, but you also
don't know how to win, you know, and I think that's just that's
a a wonderful spirit and thingto have, and so many people just
(06:41):
default to giving up, like, oh,they, they.
It's like they're looking forthe signs to tell them that
they're supposed to give up,instead of looking for that,
that one thread that says no, no, no, hang on, you're, you're,
you're going to get there.
Speaker 9 (06:53):
Yeah, I, I, I like to call that the self-fulfilling
prophecy.
You have already decided thatit's going to be a reality.
So anything you can think of,or any excuse that you see and
you're like oh, that's it,that's the reason why I have to
give up, um, so I being aware ofthat's kind of important.
And then, not that I want togive Steve an even bigger head
than he has, but, um, there wasplenty, plenty of times early on
(07:15):
in my life that I was not acharge forward person.
Um, I didn't.
I, I had the drive, but thefear of failure was just too
much to to persevere.
Um, and if I didn't know how toget there, I would just be like
I can't do it, I gotta quit.
Um.
And then, steve, what's yourfavorite saying?
Speaker 11 (07:34):
Don't self-select.
Speaker 9 (07:35):
Don't self-select.
There was.
I wanted to go to Pathfinderschool.
Um, that way it was an optionfor me, not an option for many
women and not an option withmedical service officers.
Very often it's applicable, butit's a big deal.
In the Army it's a big deal.
Pathfinders are very cool, andI wanted to do it and I was
feeling really nervous and likeI couldn't do it and I just
(07:58):
couldn't keep up.
I couldn't with the image thatI had created of people that had
made that.
And Steve was like don'tself-select, you're, you're
going to fail if you don't do it.
And as soon as he said that,like, again, there's a few light
switch moments in my life, andthat was one.
Um, and since then, anytime Istart feeling discouraged or
(08:20):
feeling like I need to, um, takea step back or I can't just
keep pushing, I'm like well, ofcourse, if I give up, I'm going
to fail, and that's enough to belike you might win, though, and
that's more powerful than thefear of failure, because what
happens if you succeed?
What does that look like?
I mean our life now.
Our life is there's hard things, but our life is amazing, and
(08:40):
we have worked so hard for wherewe are.
We have foregone a lot forwhere we are, but if I had given
up like, how dark would it havebeen?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, I needed to know that yougave up.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 9 (08:51):
Yeah, and how many more times would I quit on
myself Like that's not, that'snot worth it?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Surrounding yourself with people who think that same
way.
Absolutely Cut proximity iseverything, man, especially at
home.
Now you've got one heck of asupport system.
Tell me a little bit about thefamily.
Speaker 12 (09:11):
Um, my wife's the true superstar.
You know, um, I'm a.
The joke is, but it's the truth.
You know, my, my mom andgrandmothers did a great job of
raising me, but they got me to acertain two kids with her is
the gift of a lifetime.
It's the by far the greatestthing that God ever gave us
(09:32):
besides Jesus was was our kids.
And um, my wife is, um, she'sthat, you know, growing up the
the most beautiful women.
A lot of times they came withsome baggage.
Maybe they're they thought toomuch of themselves or they
weren't, they just didn't thatkind big sweetheart baggage.
Maybe they're they thought toomuch of themselves or they
weren't, they just didn't thatkind big sweet heart, or at
(09:53):
least they didn't put that outthere, you know, and um, I think
about that movie, the meangirls.
You know, um, my wife's theexact opposite of that.
She's just an absolute knockout.
But she has the big heart andis the exact opposite of of,
like the mean girl syndrome.
You know what I mean.
So, um, raising kids with her,and our son is a exact replica
of her, our daughter's exactreplica of of me, and um, just
(10:17):
teaching them, you know, it's sohard not to want to do
everything for them, whenactually your job is to, as a
parent, is to prepare them forlife, and you can't prepare them
by anything by doing it forthem, you know.
So, on one hand you want to donice things for them and give
them everything, but the really,the really, the thing you
should give them is theknowledge so that they can get
hit less when light, when theygrow up on their own and they're
(10:38):
out, and, and you know so, thatway life's going to knock you
down.
But, man, if you're preparedfor that punch and you can brace
for it, um, it doesn't have, itdoesn't knock you back as far,
you know.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, I love it.
So, and to kind of paint thepicture for everybody out here,
so you started as as a coach, afootball team, football team,
and then you've progressed inyour career, but also we added
some family along the way.
Absolutely, you got tworockstar kids.
Speaker 13 (11:05):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
We got.
We got Jack on the MTSUbasketball team basketball team.
And then we've got MB is on thedanceTSU basketball team
Basketball team.
Yep, and then we got MB is onthe dance team.
Speaker 13 (11:13):
I love that you know these things, man.
It gives me chills, man.
I mean, yeah, little MB, man,she's you got to watch out for
her.
Man, she's the one that she'llslap you.
Just, I mean, if you comeacross her the wrong way, man,
she is coming at you.
(11:39):
Both those kids I told Jack froma very early age I said I am
going to treat you like an adultand along the way we're
probably going to have arelationship that most fathers
and sons wouldn't have.
But I promise you, when I handthe baton off to you, you will
be able to run the race in waysthat nobody else can.
And as I sit here before you,uh in the hit lab at 52, and
(12:04):
Jack is 22, and watched whathe's done, uh at at MTSU, and I
would have never, I would havenever guessed in a million years
that both my kids would havegone to MTSU.
It just was not the story thatI was telling myself.
And what's so cool is I get togo out to your point.
I get to go out and I get towatch my son be part of a team,
(12:27):
learn how to use adversity toaccelerate growth, get
specialized coaching.
What's rule number one of talentdevelopment.
Get around people better thanyou.
What's rule number two becomebetter than them in the ways
that you're uniquely gifted.
What's rule number three makethe pie bigger.
What's rule number four makethe pie so begging, start the
bakery.
And I see that happening forthem and I love it.
(12:52):
It's.
It's what I saw for them from avery early age, for both of
them.
And MB has found this littlehome and dance and she's out
there on the field and uh, Iknow we're going to talk about
health and she's part of thatstory as well, but they're
thriving.
Man Jack's getting a degree infinance which good, good Lord, I
(13:13):
know I couldn't even pass thefirst class in finance and MB is
doing social media, electronicmedia, and they're thriving and
they're happy and and I get themhere with me during this stage
of life- and it is exactly whatyou wish for them right, for
them to be happy, for them to bethriving, yes, and so hats off
to both of them.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
As parents, it's our job to build the foundation, but
it's up to them what they dowith it Well, and both of you
have expressed just howsupportive your spouses are, and
so I think that's a big pieceto this people.
You know this was not by design, but most people that end up
sitting in this podcast studioand coming on the show will
(13:54):
agree that who you pick as yourpartner in this world, in this
life, your spouse is probablyand I say probably because I
really want to say is, but we'llleave a little bit out there
for some people as the biggestdecision that you will make, the
most important decision youwill make on the trajectory of
your life.
Speaker 10 (14:14):
I mean having done it wrong the first time.
I can tell you that when you'rewith the wrong person, it makes
life a lot harder.
And then, when you're withsomeone that's supportive and
kind and wonderful, it makeslife so much easier.
And I wouldn't be able to do itwithout the support of my
husband, my family, my sister.
I wouldn't have ever taken thatleap.
(14:35):
And your spouse has to be 100%with you because when you start
a business, you're giving iteverything, Absolutely your
finances, your house, yourself,everything that you own, and
your time.
You're putting it into thisbusiness.
It's taking 100% to get it offthe ground and to get it going.
So if you don't have yourspouse supporting you in doing
that, I really don't see howit's going to work.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yeah Well, and I think for entrepreneurs, there's
a natural point where you'vekind of reached the pinnacle of
what you're going to do forsomebody else and now it's time
to do it for yourself.
Yep, and you know, I'm justhappy that y'all reached that.
Speaker 10 (15:16):
Us too, actually, we got pushed into it and then we
accepted it.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, there's plenty of people that would have a
self-doubt or a mindset thatwould keep them from doing that,
and so I don't think that's byaccident.
I think it's partly because youhave so many years of
experience so you know whatyou're capable of.
And then I think we talked onceand you said something to the
effect of I was asking people totake a chance on me, but I
(15:43):
wasn't willing to take a chanceon me, and I think that is
incredibly profound.
Speaker 10 (15:48):
My motto is take a chance on yourself.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
There you go, but it hasn't always been that way it
has not.
Speaker 10 (15:53):
That's great, that's great.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
So I think it just continues to prove that we are
constantly working to become theperson we are supposed to be,
and that takes effort, yep, andthat takes getting uncomfortable
and it takes being accountable,and a lot of people will try
not to be any of those things.
They want somebody else to blamefor it.
They do not want to be, theydon't want to blame themselves
(16:18):
and they are in this rut.
They don't want to take thataction.
Um, but you know, that's,that's everybody's individual
choice, right?
I think it's.
It's one of those things whereI really like to operate,
whether we're talking aboutpersonally or in business or any
of those things I like tooperate in this zone that I call
selfish and selfless at thesame time.
(16:39):
Yeah, and so, if you thinkabout it, the most selfish thing
you could possibly do is rootfor your teammate and the most
selfless thing that you couldpossibly do at the same time is
root for your teammate.
So I mean it's win-win.
Like there is never a reasonwhy you would ever, you know,
(16:59):
wish a negative thing on yourpartner in this life.
You're right, I mean again.
Speaker 15 (17:04):
Life's too short right.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Or, in this case, what we're talking about is
painting them in a light that'sunfavorable, you know, and I
think we're both incrediblyfortunate, and this actually
comes up in almost every episode, but it wasn't by design.
But when we think about peoplewho charge forward and people
who default to leaning in, whenother people would give up a lot
(17:28):
of times it's because they havea supportive spouse yeah,
people would give up Um, a lotof times it's because they have
a supportive spouse.
Yeah.
And so for you and Jen, what doyou?
What do you think?
Like how important has the factthat you found each other been
to your lives?
Speaker 15 (17:41):
You know, if it wasn't for Jen I will tell you
this, I wouldn't be in the seatthat I am today.
I wouldn't have the life thatI've got today, Right?
So, um, you know me, I'm, I'mvery, um, I like to take chances
or I like to take risks.
Um, sometimes they're not good,sometimes they're great.
(18:01):
Um, but if it wasn't for Jen tokind of keep me anchored down
at times, um, I, I, I definitelywouldn't be where I am today.
But if it wasn't for Jen, Ialso wouldn't be as successful
as I am today.
Right, because there'sdifferent challenges that we
face, that she's like we need totake this opportunity and run
(18:23):
with it, like moving back toChattanooga, or you're not happy
in doing this day-to-day stuff.
Let's look at other options.
Um, you know, I, I, I wouldn'thave the education that I've got
today without Jennifer, and so,and I think our kids aren't who
(18:44):
they are if it wasn't for bothof us.
So, you know, I think, choosinga spouse or me choosing
Jennifer, I don't ever want tosay it that way Because, luckily
she chose me, I didn't get tochoose her way.
Um, because, luckily she choseme, I didn't get to choose her.
(19:05):
Um, it was by luck that we, wemet um and we, you know, she
picked me, uh, out of everybody,and so to me that means more
than anything, um at all, causeI don't want to say that I
picked her cause that'sdefinitely not the choice.
You know the answer to that.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I know you touched on this with some of the podcasts
that you listen to and thosetypes of things.
As you've been growing up thisbusiness what podcasts, who's
been a part of it, who'smentored you just all the things
who can you give a nod to.
That's absolutely been eithergame-changing or a part of your
growth.
Speaker 14 (19:43):
Well, I'll have to say, Jockaco, like he's got a
great podcast and like you know,it seems nowadays like you
touched on before, people don'twant to work, like that's a
whole big thing, like I don't, Idon't want to do this.
I mean, I don't know that.
Your average high schooler boyknows how to change a tire,
(20:09):
knows how to check his oil oreven knows how, like if the
batter is dead, I don't knowwhat to him calling somebody.
I mean, dude, when I, when itwas, when I was young, you've
got to figure it out.
Yeah, and I go back to Jacques,because his story is he wanted
(20:29):
to be a special ops type guy, acommando.
Well, the Navy SEALs, they don'tgive those tridents out.
You've got one week of hellfirst, you know, in the very
beginning, and that weeds outeverybody.
Because I mean, but it's, it'sjust that the thing like, do the
work, there's no, get your shit, get you, get up.
(20:51):
I try to get up every day atfive.
I think it's like 502.
I'm just weird, but I try toget every day like 502, even
sunday, like, try to keep thatschedule.
And you know, even if I justget up and piddle around, or but
when you work for yourself, youhave kind of a small business,
you know you're, you're alwaysthinking about it.
(21:11):
You know what do I need to doand it doesn't have to be much,
but every day you're kind of, Iguess, um, keeping your finger
on the pulse maybe, and uh, andJocko's, like all the dudes he
interviews, are like dudes thathave, like, some are fighter
pilots, some were like inVietnam, some were POWs, but
(21:32):
like that generation up to well,up to the cell phone, and you
know, like you know thesmartphone, well up to the cell
phone, and you know, like youknow, the smartphone, there
there was no easy anything.
Now you've got like influencersand all that stuff and they just
make videos but that, uh, whatyou see in the video or the clip
(21:55):
or whatever they show you,that's just their.
That's a happy moment and a lotof people compare that to their
inner feelings of how they'refeeling and that's not an equal
thing.
But like I guess I keep goingback to like you got to get up,
put your shoes on, let's go.
Yeah, I mean you can't.
(22:15):
I mean people, even adults, arelike if they have a few minutes
, they're on their phone, justscrolling, just looking, and you
know I like to look to it,don't get me wrong, but like I
got to go to work too, yeah, fun, and you know, it just kind of
goes to show that you know wecan't do it on our own.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
We need people.
We need.
We need people that inspire us.
We need mentors, we need tours,we need.
We need the bad people too, toshow us what we don't want.
That's exactly right.
And they all shape us, they allget us to where we're at.
You know, I think even um,because you, you shoot your
podcast out of the same studiothat's right in in a roundabout
way.
So colby introduced, introducedyou, and I I was on your
(22:54):
podcast.
Then I was on nick's podcastand we were talking and he said
I heard you were on virgil'spodcast and I said, yeah, and he
goes.
Well, can you introduce me toVirgil?
And I said, absolutely.
In fact, I told Virgil he needsto be doing video and he goes.
Well, I'll have thatconversation with him.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
And, of course, now, here we are, here we are.
Oh, and that's another thing islike that to me, like the, the
abundant mindset and the, the.
When you have a great communityof people around you and you
can introduce other like mindedpeople and join communities
together, it creates a level ofpower, because the more people
you know that are like mindedhave positive vibes, the more,
(23:35):
the more you can help others.
Oh, yeah, right.
So another huge impact on mylife is Nick Heider.
Nick has been nothing butawesome for me on so many
different levels.
One, because he's a greatbaseball player and coach.
I'm on golf, but I played a lotof baseball, so we have a lot of
commonalities.
He's a baseball player wholoves golf.
(23:55):
I'm a golfer who loves baseball, you know.
And then we have the similargrowth mindset.
We have a similar belief inpushing all bounds to how great
we can be, and he's no differentLike hey, I'm just Nick Heider,
minor league baseball player,but that dude is such a great
entrepreneur, yeah, and he makesanybody believe that if I can
(24:20):
do it, you can do it, and weneed more people like that.
So Nick is one of the greatestadditives to my life recently,
for sure.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Absolutely Selfishly.
I love the energy, just likeyou.
I love the energy that getscreated.
Nothing gets taken away.
It's not taken away, it justadds to that Absolutely, Because
there are definitely peoplethat take from you.
It's not taken away, it justadds to that Absolutely.
Um cause there, there aredefinitely people that take from
you.
There's takers in this world.
There's people that are neutral.
There's people that thatinspire you to be better or that
you're better with you know, Um, and the more more great people
(24:56):
, more great attitudes you canput around you.
Just, I think it's like rocketfuel for your your existence.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Yeah, it's contagious , and the more contagion we can
have in greatness, yep it, it,it's.
It's one of those things likeeven the smallest pebble thrown
into the ocean creates a ripple.
So even if you well, I can'tmake as big of an impact as
Michael Jordan can, it doesn'tmake as big of an impact as
Michael Jordan can it doesn'tmake a difference that if you're
(25:23):
a feel like you're a littlepebble, you're still going to
make a ripple in the ocean.
And if you can make a positivechange in just one person's life
, you change the world.
And most people don't recognizethat until they do it.
And then, whether I've impactedone or a hundred or a thousand
or 10,000, is it completelyirrelevant to me Because it only
(25:43):
took one?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
It only took one to change my life.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
And you bring up another good point there.
I love this conversation is youknow, so much today has been
watered down by us not keepingscore, by us not talking about
somebody won and somebody lostand what you need to do, what
you need to fix.
So that's one reason why I lovethe coaching aspect, the sports
aspect, those types of things,but it plays right into your
(26:09):
career.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Like it, it does.
And you know anything you dooutside of bowling golf.
Even then there's a teamconcept at some point in time.
Uh, for me it was basketball.
So I mean, you can't hide.
When there's five people on thefloor it's hard to hide.
And if you're not any good andthey have to hide you, you're
not going to play.
That's right.
So you have to continuallyfight for a spot, which is
(26:34):
something I love.
And then when you get into thereal world, it's like you said
people like if they haven't doneit, you can't.
It's hard to learn older, right?
You have to go through thattrial by fire.
You have to understand you haveto lose.
You have to go 5 and 21 in yourfirst year to say, hmm, what's
the problem?
And then I went 6 and 20.
Hey, I improved a game.
(26:54):
And then I went 7 wins thethird year and I thought, okay,
this is insanity, I haven'tchanged anything.
I keep thinking that theplayers are going to change,
they're going to change theoutcome.
But it was the coach the wholetime, it was me.
Until I learned that valuablelesson, I wouldn't be sitting
here with you today.
Yeah, yeah, and that's allbecause of failure.
So the first thing that weteach at DSE is fail often and
(27:17):
fail forward.
If you're not learning throughyour failures, it's insanity.
You're doing the same thingover and over.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yeah, absolutely Well , and again, I think that's.
That's one of those thingsthat's lost in a lot of
households and I'm going to putthis back on the parents is
they're so quick to remove painfrom the situation that the kid
never learns how to deal with it, and so then that's where we
end up with, you know, 20 yearolds that can't hold a job or
(27:45):
can't make it through schoolbecause they can't handle
somebody holding themaccountable.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
I think about this all the time, as a father of
three, I have failed miserably.
I'm hoping by the third, thethird one, by the time he gets
old enough that he can, maybe Ihave learned my lesson.
Like coaching, right it's it's.
Nothing gets you ready forfatherhood.
My father told me all the waythrough one day, son, you'll
understand.
One day, son, you'll understand.
I'm like whatever.
And now I'm like he's.
(28:10):
So right, here we are and and Itry to raise our children.
Yeah, with failure in mind.
Yeah, hey, it's okay to fail.
Okay, what'd we do wrong?
Now, as we go back, when youapproach this scenario again and
we have helicopter parents thisday that just at all costs
(28:31):
comfort them and shield themfrom failures and the teachable
moments of that.
It's not fun.
Nobody wants to do itSpecifically with athletics,
with your own children.
Yeah, do you live vicariouslythrough your children or do you
back up and say they're theirown person?
Either they got to want itthemselves and if they fail, or
don't make the team.
There's lessons involved inthat.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
Don't complain about your playing time.
What have you done to change it?
Speaker 1 (28:57):
That's right.
Well, so along those same lines, who would you say other than
your mom has been a great mentoralong the way?
Speaker 7 (29:04):
Oh my gosh, my granddad, keith English.
He might just be my favoriteperson in the world.
It's the person I look up tomost.
He went through a lot ofhardships when he was younger,
but he's an entrepreneur.
He's very much into self-help,like he met Zig Ziglar and he
does right, is that not so cool?
(29:27):
Um, and he does his morningaffirmations and he's probably
like the most generous and kindand hardworking person I know
and he, oh my gosh he loves ourfamily so much.
That's my mom's dad and I don'tknow.
He just sets a great examplefor what I want to be in life
and he gave me his collection ofself-help books, which there's
(29:49):
six of us grandkids and we all,like about half of us, own our
own businesses.
Speaker 16 (29:54):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
And it's just all him .
He's the one who inspired us todo that, and he's so awesome
who inspired us to do that.
And um, he's, he's so awesome,I look up to him a lot.
He's also the busiest busy bodyyou've ever met like he's 80, I
think.
For his 70 or 75th birthday hetook a video of him like jumping
from the floor onto athree-foot stool.
We're like, um, that's coolthat you can do that, but please
(30:16):
don't.
But he's's awesome.
He never wants to sit down.
He's still.
He's still doing his thing andum, yeah, I look up to him so
much.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
That's fantastic.
Uh, I think one of the thingsthat that we always try to do
here is we try to have an actionitem, something that somebody
could take you know that youhave kind of fine tuned through
your 30 years of doing mortgagesa best practice or something
that almost anybody could takethat nugget and plug it into
their life and make their lifebetter.
What do you think somethingthat you would classify as that
would be?
Speaker 11 (30:52):
yeah, I think it goes back to a little bit what
we were talking about with kids,because I think it applies to
anyone.
I think just you know, reachingout I think it's particular
into mortgages I tell people allthe time just have the
conversation, you know, and kindof all the aspects of my life
lead back to just having theconversation.
You know, if I need to talk tosomebody about how I'm
(31:12):
struggling, what I'm goingthrough in life, it's really
hard to solve it by yourself.
I mean, you can spend time, youcan, you can reflect, you can
have, you know, inner thoughtsand you can, you know, talk to
yourself and that kind of stuff.
But I think reaching out tosomebody and just having a
conversation whether it's you'regoing through a rough time or
there's something you want to doin life, you know I I'm really
(31:33):
big and I've told my kids athousand times too there's
something you want to do in life, Find somebody that's done it,
Talk to them.
Or, you know, call somebodythat's expert in that field.
When it comes to mortgages, ifyou want to buy a home, you
don't have to go buy it tomorrow, but talk to somebody and see
how to get on track to get there, I think.
I just think communication isso huge and through the years
I've learned more and more.
(31:54):
The only way to find out aboutanything is to ask somebody
about it.
I mean, you've just you've gotto ask somebody and if you can,
you know.
Like I said, if you knowsomebody, that's where you want
to go, that's the best place tostart.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Yeah, cause they've been through it.
Speaker 11 (32:07):
Yeah, and they're going to have the best advice to
tell you how to get started andhelp you learn it.
So you know, from the smallestthing to the largest thing, I
think the best thing you can dois just reach out and be
open-minded about it.
If that's really where you wantto go or what you need help
with, you can find it.
You've just got to be willingto be open-minded and be open to
it.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah Well, they can't help you if you don't ask for
the help.
Absolutely, they're not mindreaders, yeah.
Speaker 11 (32:32):
I've got so many things because I'm in my 50s now
, so many things that I go.
I wish I would have askedsomebody sooner.
So that's why I think that'sthe first step is you know it it
?
I learned a whole lot of thatprocess through our grief and
through losing Ryan.
Um was how much you need otherpeople.
I was, you know, through throughhigh school, um, college age,
(32:57):
all that kind of stuff.
I was very quiet, didn't talkto a lot of people and and
really just didn't share hardlyany thoughts.
I was really bad about keepingeverything inside and I learned
through Stacy, through what wewent through with Ryan, about
how much just being open andtalking to people.
I mean, you know, I kind offell into sales almost 30 years
ago, into mortgages, and peoplethat I went to high school are
like dude.
I can't believe when I see avideo of you talking like you
(33:19):
barely, you know, said a word inhigh school, like you just did
your thing, didn't really talkto anybody, and it's such, a,
such a more healthy, enjoyableexperience in life sharing it
with other people.
So, just, you know, openingyour mind and being able to
reach out and talk to people hasbeen huge for me.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
When you started out, obviouslyMr Harris had a depth being an
attorney, being a professor, allthose things so obviously he
helped you in this world ofbecoming a CPA.
But what else like what othermentors have you had in your
life?
Speaker 17 (33:56):
So I've had several mentors in my life.
Tom Harris was one of those.
He was a brilliant man, knewall about taxes.
Now he mentored me in a waythat I don't think he realized,
and that was in work-lifebalance, because he had none.
His goal was to die with hishand on a calculator, leaned
over a tax return.
(34:16):
That is not my goal.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Sure.
Speaker 17 (34:19):
And so I saw that in him my father has been a huge
part of mentoring me because,like I said, I grew up in the
family of entrepreneurs, and somy mother and father, when we
sat around the dinner table atnight, we talked about issues,
or they talked about and welistened issues with employees,
(34:39):
issues with bankers, how to getfinancing, how to promote this
product, and so, as young girls,me and my sisters were learning
more than we really realized wewere doing, which has served us
so well.
And then, you know, your dad isprobably your biggest
cheerleader or at least mine was, and he made me feel like Tiger
(35:00):
Woods on the golf course whichmediocre at best would be the
way to describe that.
But he always helped, instillconfidence in me, but was able
to critique me and to help me bebetter in business, and one of
the things that he told me whenI became a CPA and was opening
(35:23):
my own firm.
I said Daddy, what should I doLike?
What, as a business owner,would you want your accountant
to do?
And he said we know you're smart, you've got CPA after your name
, you've gone to college, youpassed that test, which is very,
very hard to pass, so you don'tneed to talk down to me, you
don't need to talk over my head.
You need to talk to me in ways Ican understand my business and
(35:45):
help me be better.
And so that was a huge thingthat he instilled in me is speak
to your client in terms thatthey can understand, because
they need to walk away from youroffice, from that tax return,
from that meeting, andunderstand why they owe the IRS,
(36:09):
why they're getting a refund,why their quarter was down or up
this year or this season.
So I think that is a huge partof it.
And then I've also had severalbusiness owners in my community
and in Middle Tennessee bankersas well just kind of take me
under their wing and help mefind financing for clients or
help me find other strategies tobe in business, and I'm
(36:29):
grateful for all the people thathave poured into me, and that's
why I think it is so importantfor me to do likewise.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Yeah, absolutely.
Anybody can say I want to go dosomething.
Speaker 16 (36:37):
Yeah, and we hope you do.
Our goal is to get women intothe outdoors safely and have the
knowledge and then a friendgroup that'll do it.
So if you're brand new to, say,paddle boarding, you can post
in there hey, I'm thinking aboutgetting a paddle board, what do
y'all think?
And you'll have 15 peoplethat'll tell you hey, this is
what worked for me as a lady.
This one's lighter to carry oreasier to manage or you know
(36:57):
whatever they're looking for.
So it's been cool to watch thatkind of mentorship happen
organically.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Right, and they're really just.
They're trying to help somebodyand let's be real, I mean, we
all like to talk about ourselves, for sure.
Yeah, and so them.
Sharing their experience ismaking them more connected to
the group which is also helpingsomebody else out.
Speaker 16 (37:16):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
And they don't feel like, oh I'm, I'm this weird
person that wants to do this.
Nobody else does it.
Just because nobody in yoursubdivision or in your circle
does it doesn't mean it doesn'thappen.
Speaker 16 (37:26):
Yes, and something unique kind of about our events
is there's not, um, an agedemographic.
We have everyone that you knowis coming out of high school,
all the way to ladies that areretired and have to coordinate
their babysitting of theirgrandchildren's schedule to come
play with us, and we're allshooting the big guns.
It doesn't matter and you don'thave to have any knowledge.
(37:46):
We won't speak gun at you, wedon't expect you to know
anything.
You come in and then we'll walkyou through what you need to
know.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah, really one of those environments where you
meet them, where they are.
Speaker 16 (37:57):
For sure, for sure, and you meet them where they are
For sure, for sure.
So, and we try to demystifythis stuff.
You know, hunting has been kindof a club for a long time, and
if you're not in it, you ain'tin it.
So we try to demystify and wehave great partners, the TWRA,
the Tennessee WildlifeFederation, so many guys across
the board that'll help us outand help us learn, cause I don't
know either.
I'm not the expert.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I'm not the expert, I'm not a turkey hunter, I don't
know.
I'm right there learning withthem.
So it's been cool.
We've learned a lot.
Team is Jim Cripps here withthe Charge Forward podcast.
I just want to tell you I loveyou, I appreciate you listening,
I appreciate you forsubscribing and sharing the
Charge Forward podcast withpeople you know and you love,
because that's what we're herefor.
We are here to share theamazing stories, the things that
people have been through, theways that they were able to
(38:46):
improve their life, so that youcan take little nuggets from
theirs and help improve yourstory and be better tomorrow
than you were today.
I hope that this is the toolyou needed at the right time and
that you find value in theamazing guests that we bring
each and every week.
Thanks so much and don't forgetnew episodes drop every
Thursday.
You are the cap for whatever goes on in your store,
in your company, in yourdistrict, in your household.
However excited you are, whatyou believe is possible,
whatever that threshold is thisis a question that we have not
(00:22):
talked about, but it comes up inalmost every episode,
especially when it's couples orentrepreneurs is how much would
you say your success has beentied to the fact that you found
the right spouse?
Speaker 2 (00:39):
I mean, I think that it's absolutely imperative that
you're finding the right spouseto support you right, that it's
absolutely imperative that youfinding the right spouse to
support you right and creating acreating life and creating a
family is important to be ableto, to have a solid foundation
to build upon Right.
And I think, and I can, I can'tcommend my spouse, kayla,
enough to be able to support meand my crazy ideas and my crazy.
You know my high energy andhigh, high, you know mental
(01:02):
capacity.
We'll call it and and you knowI never, never, never, thought
we'd be where we're at and I'mfortunate that we are and I
can't.
Yeah, it's 100%.
We wouldn't be able to buildanything without that foundation
.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Well, I think we're both lucky in that regard,
because my wife will tell youI'm too much and mine is.
Emily is just steady and Ithink Kayla is very much the
same for you.
Absolutely, and it's thatbalance right.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yep, she's cool, calm and collected.
I'm the highly motivated move,move, move, go, go go ask
questions later, make it happen.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
I think too and, like we talked about, this comes up
in almost every episode you hadbacking from your spouse in that
you were supporting him makinga big change, and also when you
were growing a clinic, he wassupporting you, and so you guys
are supporting each other.
Definitely reciprocated yeah.
And so in your opinion, youknow you guys have been together
(01:57):
.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
What 20 years right, Just celebrate our 20th 20th
anniversary.
Well, congratulations.
Speaker 1 (02:01):
That's fantastic and you've got two great kids, Thank
you.
You know we uh, branch andcastle, hang out all the time.
Um, how impactful to your life,or how much of your success do
you think is attributed to thefact that you you got the right
spouse, that you you pickedcorrectly and you were
supporting each other?
Do you want to answer this?
Speaker 6 (02:21):
Well, I just want to point out I don't think it's
necessarily the success of thebusinesses.
I think it's uh led to myhappiness, like if I didn't have
the right spouse.
I mean, I see what some ofthese uh couples go through and
we even say to each other like,oh, thank god, I'm happy, I, I
hope she's happy, but uhentering the dating scene again,
(02:43):
or something like that Well youknow, sex is important and we
prioritize that in our life.
Speaker 5 (02:51):
It's part of it really, and you know, I think
that we have two businesses, butmaking our marriage a priority
is something we said at thebeginning.
We said that we didn't want tobe in business together if it
meant that it was going tocompromise our marriage.
So we have to.
We always make it a priority toset time aside for ourselves.
Speaker 6 (03:08):
And she's.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
She's better than I am, but she'll be like no,
you're spending time with metoday and thank God she does
Cause that's, that's how it tohave the right partner, to have
(03:30):
the right spouse that supportsyou, that you live this life
with all the way.
Speaker 8 (03:37):
I mean, it's everything for me.
I can speak on that.
Going back to what I said was adifficult answer was to talk
about some of the thoughts thatI was dealt, you know, growing
up and the fact that it's notfor us, you know, it's not going
to happen.
You know, and in kind ofpigeonholing, thinking Well, my
(04:03):
sister worked in a salon and Icame home for a free haircut and
there was this new girl in thesalon and I asked my sister who
this new girl was and and if youcould ask her if she was busy,
because I think I want to meether and see if she'll cut my
hair for me.
And and I met this girl namedstacy and, uh, we went on a date
(04:26):
the next night and, well,changed my life.
Um, she's been such a greatsupport.
She.
The first thing she said to meis like um, you throw this ball
amazing, and why haven't youdone more in a sport?
And I'm like, wait, what no onehad ever quite said it to me
(04:46):
like that and her belief in mein all things sense, and
following whatever path I wastaken in, believing and
supporting that has been amazing, and it's not easy to find
someone like that.
She has supported me from dayone.
(05:09):
The other is she gave me purpose.
We had a family, and that never, let me say, I quit Right,
because it was having that wholepackage that you needed to
drive you, because you couldn'tgive up.
You had to keep going.
You had to keep going and workharder.
(05:30):
But she always supported thatand she in fact would be like
what are you doing?
Today?
I'm like well, I thought I'dtake the kids.
Well, don't you have topractice?
You know like no, go, practicefirst, we'll be okay, we'll wait
to get back.
And you know I had a prettystrong regimen as far as how
much time I put into it and shedidn't want that to change.
(05:50):
Even when I became comfortableon tour and made quite a bit
more money, she's like no,that's what got you there.
You can't now just kick back go.
I made it because you're goingto fall right back.
So she saw that and she made mework harder than, uh, you know
I wanted to, simply because Iwant to be with my family more,
(06:11):
and she understood that.
But she said, no, you're doingthis for us, you're going out
there and you're doing this forus, so you are taking care of
your family.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Yeah, and again, I think it goes right back to kind
of the.
The mission of the charge forpodcasts is people who don't
give up, like I think you saidit perfectly.
You said you, you, you couldn'timagine giving up, but you also
don't know how to win, you know, and I think that's just that's
a a wonderful spirit and thingto have, and so many people just
(06:41):
default to giving up, like, oh,they, they.
It's like they're looking forthe signs to tell them that
they're supposed to give up,instead of looking for that,
that one thread that says no, no, no, hang on, you're, you're,
you're going to get there.
Speaker 9 (06:53):
Yeah, I, I, I like to call that the self-fulfilling
prophecy.
You have already decided thatit's going to be a reality.
So anything you can think of,or any excuse that you see and
you're like oh, that's it,that's the reason why I have to
give up, um, so I being aware ofthat's kind of important.
And then, not that I want togive Steve an even bigger head
than he has, but, um, there wasplenty, plenty of times early on
(07:15):
in my life that I was not acharge forward person.
Um, I didn't.
I, I had the drive, but thefear of failure was just too
much to to persevere.
Um, and if I didn't know how toget there, I would just be like
I can't do it, I gotta quit.
Um.
And then, steve, what's yourfavorite saying?
Speaker 11 (07:34):
Don't self-select.
Speaker 9 (07:35):
Don't self-select.
There was.
I wanted to go to Pathfinderschool.
Um, that way it was an optionfor me, not an option for many
women and not an option withmedical service officers.
Very often it's applicable, butit's a big deal.
In the Army it's a big deal.
Pathfinders are very cool, andI wanted to do it and I was
feeling really nervous and likeI couldn't do it and I just
(07:58):
couldn't keep up.
I couldn't with the image thatI had created of people that had
made that.
And Steve was like don'tself-select, you're, you're
going to fail if you don't do it.
And as soon as he said that,like, again, there's a few light
switch moments in my life, andthat was one.
Um, and since then, anytime Istart feeling discouraged or
(08:20):
feeling like I need to, um, takea step back or I can't just
keep pushing, I'm like well, ofcourse, if I give up, I'm going
to fail, and that's enough to belike you might win, though, and
that's more powerful than thefear of failure, because what
happens if you succeed?
What does that look like?
I mean our life now.
Our life is there's hard things, but our life is amazing, and
(08:40):
we have worked so hard for wherewe are.
We have foregone a lot forwhere we are, but if I had given
up like, how dark would it havebeen?
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, I needed to know that yougave up.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 9 (08:51):
Yeah, and how many more times would I quit on
myself Like that's not, that'snot worth it?
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Surrounding yourself with people who think that same
way.
Absolutely Cut proximity iseverything, man, especially at
home.
Now you've got one heck of asupport system.
Tell me a little bit about thefamily.
Speaker 12 (09:11):
Um, my wife's the true superstar.
You know, um, I'm a.
The joke is, but it's the truth.
You know, my, my mom andgrandmothers did a great job of
raising me, but they got me to acertain two kids with her is
the gift of a lifetime.
It's the by far the greatestthing that God ever gave us
(09:32):
besides Jesus was was our kids.
And um, my wife is, um, she'sthat, you know, growing up the
the most beautiful women.
A lot of times they came withsome baggage.
Maybe they're they thought toomuch of themselves or they
weren't, they just didn't thatkind big sweetheart baggage.
Maybe they're they thought toomuch of themselves or they
weren't, they just didn't thatkind big sweet heart, or at
(09:53):
least they didn't put that outthere, you know, and um, I think
about that movie, the meangirls.
You know, um, my wife's theexact opposite of that.
She's just an absolute knockout.
But she has the big heart andis the exact opposite of of,
like the mean girl syndrome.
You know what I mean.
So, um, raising kids with her,and our son is a exact replica
of her, our daughter's exactreplica of of me, and um, just
(10:17):
teaching them, you know, it's sohard not to want to do
everything for them, whenactually your job is to, as a
parent, is to prepare them forlife, and you can't prepare them
by anything by doing it forthem, you know.
So, on one hand you want to donice things for them and give
them everything, but the really,the really, the thing you
should give them is theknowledge so that they can get
hit less when light, when theygrow up on their own and they're
(10:38):
out, and, and you know so, thatway life's going to knock you
down.
But, man, if you're preparedfor that punch and you can brace
for it, um, it doesn't have, itdoesn't knock you back as far,
you know.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yeah, absolutely.
Well, I love it.
So, and to kind of paint thepicture for everybody out here,
so you started as as a coach, afootball team, football team,
and then you've progressed inyour career, but also we added
some family along the way.
Absolutely, you got tworockstar kids.
Speaker 13 (11:05):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
We got.
We got Jack on the MTSUbasketball team basketball team.
And then we've got MB is on thedanceTSU basketball team
Basketball team.
Yep, and then we got MB is onthe dance team.
Speaker 13 (11:13):
I love that you know these things, man.
It gives me chills, man.
I mean, yeah, little MB, man,she's you got to watch out for
her.
Man, she's the one that she'llslap you.
Just, I mean, if you comeacross her the wrong way, man,
she is coming at you.
(11:39):
Both those kids I told Jack froma very early age I said I am
going to treat you like an adultand along the way we're
probably going to have arelationship that most fathers
and sons wouldn't have.
But I promise you, when I handthe baton off to you, you will
be able to run the race in waysthat nobody else can.
And as I sit here before you,uh in the hit lab at 52, and
(12:04):
Jack is 22, and watched whathe's done, uh at at MTSU, and I
would have never, I would havenever guessed in a million years
that both my kids would havegone to MTSU.
It just was not the story thatI was telling myself.
And what's so cool is I get togo out to your point.
I get to go out and I get towatch my son be part of a team,
(12:27):
learn how to use adversity toaccelerate growth, get
specialized coaching.
What's rule number one of talentdevelopment.
Get around people better thanyou.
What's rule number two becomebetter than them in the ways
that you're uniquely gifted.
What's rule number three makethe pie bigger.
What's rule number four makethe pie so begging, start the
bakery.
And I see that happening forthem and I love it.
(12:52):
It's.
It's what I saw for them from avery early age, for both of
them.
And MB has found this littlehome and dance and she's out
there on the field and uh, Iknow we're going to talk about
health and she's part of thatstory as well, but they're
thriving.
Man Jack's getting a degree infinance which good, good Lord, I
(13:13):
know I couldn't even pass thefirst class in finance and MB is
doing social media, electronicmedia, and they're thriving and
they're happy and and I get themhere with me during this stage
of life- and it is exactly whatyou wish for them right, for
them to be happy, for them to bethriving, yes, and so hats off
to both of them.
Speaker 1 (13:33):
As parents, it's our job to build the foundation, but
it's up to them what they dowith it Well, and both of you
have expressed just howsupportive your spouses are, and
so I think that's a big pieceto this people.
You know this was not by design, but most people that end up
sitting in this podcast studioand coming on the show will
(13:54):
agree that who you pick as yourpartner in this world, in this
life, your spouse is probablyand I say probably because I
really want to say is, but we'llleave a little bit out there
for some people as the biggestdecision that you will make, the
most important decision youwill make on the trajectory of
your life.
Speaker 10 (14:14):
I mean having done it wrong the first time.
I can tell you that when you'rewith the wrong person, it makes
life a lot harder.
And then, when you're withsomeone that's supportive and
kind and wonderful, it makeslife so much easier.
And I wouldn't be able to do itwithout the support of my
husband, my family, my sister.
I wouldn't have ever taken thatleap.
(14:35):
And your spouse has to be 100%with you because when you start
a business, you're giving iteverything, Absolutely your
finances, your house, yourself,everything that you own, and
your time.
You're putting it into thisbusiness.
It's taking 100% to get it offthe ground and to get it going.
So if you don't have yourspouse supporting you in doing
that, I really don't see howit's going to work.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yeah Well, and I think for entrepreneurs, there's
a natural point where you'vekind of reached the pinnacle of
what you're going to do forsomebody else and now it's time
to do it for yourself.
Yep, and you know, I'm justhappy that y'all reached that.
Speaker 10 (15:16):
Us too, actually, we got pushed into it and then we
accepted it.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Well, there's plenty of people that would have a
self-doubt or a mindset thatwould keep them from doing that,
and so I don't think that's byaccident.
I think it's partly because youhave so many years of
experience so you know whatyou're capable of.
And then I think we talked onceand you said something to the
effect of I was asking people totake a chance on me, but I
(15:43):
wasn't willing to take a chanceon me, and I think that is
incredibly profound.
Speaker 10 (15:48):
My motto is take a chance on yourself.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
There you go, but it hasn't always been that way it
has not.
Speaker 10 (15:53):
That's great, that's great.
Speaker 1 (15:55):
So I think it just continues to prove that we are
constantly working to become theperson we are supposed to be,
and that takes effort, yep, andthat takes getting uncomfortable
and it takes being accountable,and a lot of people will try
not to be any of those things.
They want somebody else to blamefor it.
They do not want to be, theydon't want to blame themselves
(16:18):
and they are in this rut.
They don't want to take thataction.
Um, but you know, that's,that's everybody's individual
choice, right?
I think it's.
It's one of those things whereI really like to operate,
whether we're talking aboutpersonally or in business or any
of those things I like tooperate in this zone that I call
selfish and selfless at thesame time.
(16:39):
Yeah, and so, if you thinkabout it, the most selfish thing
you could possibly do is rootfor your teammate and the most
selfless thing that you couldpossibly do at the same time is
root for your teammate.
So I mean it's win-win.
Like there is never a reasonwhy you would ever, you know,
(16:59):
wish a negative thing on yourpartner in this life.
You're right, I mean again.
Speaker 15 (17:04):
Life's too short right.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Or, in this case, what we're talking about is
painting them in a light that'sunfavorable, you know, and I
think we're both incrediblyfortunate, and this actually
comes up in almost every episode, but it wasn't by design.
But when we think about peoplewho charge forward and people
who default to leaning in, whenother people would give up a lot
(17:28):
of times it's because they havea supportive spouse yeah,
people would give up Um, a lotof times it's because they have
a supportive spouse.
Yeah.
And so for you and Jen, what doyou?
What do you think?
Like how important has the factthat you found each other been
to your lives?
Speaker 15 (17:41):
You know, if it wasn't for Jen I will tell you
this, I wouldn't be in the seatthat I am today.
I wouldn't have the life thatI've got today, Right?
So, um, you know me, I'm, I'mvery, um, I like to take chances
or I like to take risks.
Um, sometimes they're not good,sometimes they're great.
(18:01):
Um, but if it wasn't for Jen tokind of keep me anchored down
at times, um, I, I, I definitelywouldn't be where I am today.
But if it wasn't for Jen, Ialso wouldn't be as successful
as I am today.
Right, because there'sdifferent challenges that we
face, that she's like we need totake this opportunity and run
(18:23):
with it, like moving back toChattanooga, or you're not happy
in doing this day-to-day stuff.
Let's look at other options.
Um, you know, I, I, I wouldn'thave the education that I've got
today without Jennifer, and so,and I think our kids aren't who
(18:44):
they are if it wasn't for bothof us.
So, you know, I think, choosinga spouse or me choosing
Jennifer, I don't ever want tosay it that way Because, luckily
she chose me, I didn't get tochoose her way.
Um, because, luckily she choseme, I didn't get to choose her.
(19:05):
Um, it was by luck that we, wemet um and we, you know, she
picked me, uh, out of everybody,and so to me that means more
than anything, um at all, causeI don't want to say that I
picked her cause that'sdefinitely not the choice.
You know the answer to that.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
I know you touched on this with some of the podcasts
that you listen to and thosetypes of things.
As you've been growing up thisbusiness what podcasts, who's
been a part of it, who'smentored you just all the things
who can you give a nod to.
That's absolutely been eithergame-changing or a part of your
growth.
Speaker 14 (19:43):
Well, I'll have to say, Jockaco, like he's got a
great podcast and like you know,it seems nowadays like you
touched on before, people don'twant to work, like that's a
whole big thing, like I don't, Idon't want to do this.
I mean, I don't know that.
Your average high schooler boyknows how to change a tire,
(20:09):
knows how to check his oil oreven knows how, like if the
batter is dead, I don't knowwhat to him calling somebody.
I mean, dude, when I, when itwas, when I was young, you've
got to figure it out.
Yeah, and I go back to Jacques,because his story is he wanted
(20:29):
to be a special ops type guy, acommando.
Well, the Navy SEALs, they don'tgive those tridents out.
You've got one week of hellfirst, you know, in the very
beginning, and that weeds outeverybody.
Because I mean, but it's, it'sjust that the thing like, do the
work, there's no, get your shit, get you, get up.
(20:51):
I try to get up every day atfive.
I think it's like 502.
I'm just weird, but I try toget every day like 502, even
sunday, like, try to keep thatschedule.
And you know, even if I justget up and piddle around, or but
when you work for yourself, youhave kind of a small business,
you know you're, you're alwaysthinking about it.
(21:11):
You know what do I need to doand it doesn't have to be much,
but every day you're kind of, Iguess, um, keeping your finger
on the pulse maybe, and uh, andJocko's, like all the dudes he
interviews, are like dudes thathave, like, some are fighter
pilots, some were like inVietnam, some were POWs, but
(21:32):
like that generation up to well,up to the cell phone, and you
know, like you know thesmartphone, well up to the cell
phone, and you know, like youknow, the smartphone, there
there was no easy anything.
Now you've got like influencersand all that stuff and they just
make videos but that, uh, whatyou see in the video or the clip
(21:55):
or whatever they show you,that's just their.
That's a happy moment and a lotof people compare that to their
inner feelings of how they'refeeling and that's not an equal
thing.
But like I guess I keep goingback to like you got to get up,
put your shoes on, let's go.
Yeah, I mean you can't.
(22:15):
I mean people, even adults, arelike if they have a few minutes
, they're on their phone, justscrolling, just looking, and you
know I like to look to it,don't get me wrong, but like I
got to go to work too, yeah, fun, and you know, it just kind of
goes to show that you know wecan't do it on our own.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
We need people.
We need.
We need people that inspire us.
We need mentors, we need tours,we need.
We need the bad people too, toshow us what we don't want.
That's exactly right.
And they all shape us, they allget us to where we're at.
You know, I think even um,because you, you shoot your
podcast out of the same studiothat's right in in a roundabout
way.
So colby introduced, introducedyou, and I I was on your
(22:54):
podcast.
Then I was on nick's podcastand we were talking and he said
I heard you were on virgil'spodcast and I said, yeah, and he
goes.
Well, can you introduce me toVirgil?
And I said, absolutely.
In fact, I told Virgil he needsto be doing video and he goes.
Well, I'll have thatconversation with him.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
And, of course, now, here we are, here we are.
Oh, and that's another thing islike that to me, like the, the
abundant mindset and the, the.
When you have a great communityof people around you and you
can introduce other like mindedpeople and join communities
together, it creates a level ofpower, because the more people
you know that are like mindedhave positive vibes, the more,
(23:35):
the more you can help others.
Oh, yeah, right.
So another huge impact on mylife is Nick Heider.
Nick has been nothing butawesome for me on so many
different levels.
One, because he's a greatbaseball player and coach.
I'm on golf, but I played a lotof baseball, so we have a lot of
commonalities.
He's a baseball player wholoves golf.
(23:55):
I'm a golfer who loves baseball, you know.
And then we have the similargrowth mindset.
We have a similar belief inpushing all bounds to how great
we can be, and he's no differentLike hey, I'm just Nick Heider,
minor league baseball player,but that dude is such a great
entrepreneur, yeah, and he makesanybody believe that if I can
(24:20):
do it, you can do it, and weneed more people like that.
So Nick is one of the greatestadditives to my life recently,
for sure.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Absolutely Selfishly.
I love the energy, just likeyou.
I love the energy that getscreated.
Nothing gets taken away.
It's not taken away, it justadds to that Absolutely, Because
there are definitely peoplethat take from you.
It's not taken away, it justadds to that Absolutely.
Um cause there, there aredefinitely people that take from
you.
There's takers in this world.
There's people that are neutral.
There's people that thatinspire you to be better or that
you're better with you know, Um, and the more more great people
(24:56):
, more great attitudes you canput around you.
Just, I think it's like rocketfuel for your your existence.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
Yeah, it's contagious , and the more contagion we can
have in greatness, yep it, it,it's.
It's one of those things likeeven the smallest pebble thrown
into the ocean creates a ripple.
So even if you well, I can'tmake as big of an impact as
Michael Jordan can, it doesn'tmake as big of an impact as
Michael Jordan can it doesn'tmake a difference that if you're
(25:23):
a feel like you're a littlepebble, you're still going to
make a ripple in the ocean.
And if you can make a positivechange in just one person's life
, you change the world.
And most people don't recognizethat until they do it.
And then, whether I've impactedone or a hundred or a thousand
or 10,000, is it completelyirrelevant to me Because it only
(25:43):
took one?
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
It only took one to change my life.
Speaker 1 (25:47):
And you bring up another good point there.
I love this conversation is youknow, so much today has been
watered down by us not keepingscore, by us not talking about
somebody won and somebody lostand what you need to do, what
you need to fix.
So that's one reason why I lovethe coaching aspect, the sports
aspect, those types of things,but it plays right into your
(26:09):
career.
Speaker 4 (26:10):
Like it, it does.
And you know anything you dooutside of bowling golf.
Even then there's a teamconcept at some point in time.
Uh, for me it was basketball.
So I mean, you can't hide.
When there's five people on thefloor it's hard to hide.
And if you're not any good andthey have to hide you, you're
not going to play.
That's right.
So you have to continuallyfight for a spot, which is
(26:34):
something I love.
And then when you get into thereal world, it's like you said
people like if they haven't doneit, you can't.
It's hard to learn older, right?
You have to go through thattrial by fire.
You have to understand you haveto lose.
You have to go 5 and 21 in yourfirst year to say, hmm, what's
the problem?
And then I went 6 and 20.
Hey, I improved a game.
(26:54):
And then I went 7 wins thethird year and I thought, okay,
this is insanity, I haven'tchanged anything.
I keep thinking that theplayers are going to change,
they're going to change theoutcome.
But it was the coach the wholetime, it was me.
Until I learned that valuablelesson, I wouldn't be sitting
here with you today.
Yeah, yeah, and that's allbecause of failure.
So the first thing that weteach at DSE is fail often and
(27:17):
fail forward.
If you're not learning throughyour failures, it's insanity.
You're doing the same thingover and over.
Speaker 1 (27:22):
Yeah, absolutely Well , and again, I think that's.
That's one of those thingsthat's lost in a lot of
households and I'm going to putthis back on the parents is
they're so quick to remove painfrom the situation that the kid
never learns how to deal with it, and so then that's where we
end up with, you know, 20 yearolds that can't hold a job or
(27:45):
can't make it through schoolbecause they can't handle
somebody holding themaccountable.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
I think about this all the time, as a father of
three, I have failed miserably.
I'm hoping by the third, thethird one, by the time he gets
old enough that he can, maybe Ihave learned my lesson.
Like coaching, right it's it's.
Nothing gets you ready forfatherhood.
My father told me all the waythrough one day, son, you'll
understand.
One day, son, you'll understand.
I'm like whatever.
And now I'm like he's.
(28:10):
So right, here we are and and Itry to raise our children.
Yeah, with failure in mind.
Yeah, hey, it's okay to fail.
Okay, what'd we do wrong?
Now, as we go back, when youapproach this scenario again and
we have helicopter parents thisday that just at all costs
(28:31):
comfort them and shield themfrom failures and the teachable
moments of that.
It's not fun.
Nobody wants to do itSpecifically with athletics,
with your own children.
Yeah, do you live vicariouslythrough your children or do you
back up and say they're theirown person?
Either they got to want itthemselves and if they fail, or
don't make the team.
There's lessons involved inthat.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
Don't complain about your playing time.
What have you done to change it?
Speaker 1 (28:57):
That's right.
Well, so along those same lines, who would you say other than
your mom has been a great mentoralong the way?
Speaker 7 (29:04):
Oh my gosh, my granddad, keith English.
He might just be my favoriteperson in the world.
It's the person I look up tomost.
He went through a lot ofhardships when he was younger,
but he's an entrepreneur.
He's very much into self-help,like he met Zig Ziglar and he
does right, is that not so cool?
(29:27):
Um, and he does his morningaffirmations and he's probably
like the most generous and kindand hardworking person I know
and he, oh my gosh he loves ourfamily so much.
That's my mom's dad and I don'tknow.
He just sets a great examplefor what I want to be in life
and he gave me his collection ofself-help books, which there's
(29:49):
six of us grandkids and we all,like about half of us, own our
own businesses.
Speaker 16 (29:54):
Okay.
Speaker 7 (29:55):
And it's just all him .
He's the one who inspired us todo that, and he's so awesome
who inspired us to do that.
And um, he's, he's so awesome,I look up to him a lot.
He's also the busiest busy bodyyou've ever met like he's 80, I
think.
For his 70 or 75th birthday hetook a video of him like jumping
from the floor onto athree-foot stool.
We're like, um, that's coolthat you can do that, but please
(30:16):
don't.
But he's's awesome.
He never wants to sit down.
He's still.
He's still doing his thing andum, yeah, I look up to him so
much.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
That's fantastic.
Uh, I think one of the thingsthat that we always try to do
here is we try to have an actionitem, something that somebody
could take you know that youhave kind of fine tuned through
your 30 years of doing mortgagesa best practice or something
that almost anybody could takethat nugget and plug it into
their life and make their lifebetter.
What do you think somethingthat you would classify as that
would be?
Speaker 11 (30:52):
yeah, I think it goes back to a little bit what
we were talking about with kids,because I think it applies to
anyone.
I think just you know, reachingout I think it's particular
into mortgages I tell people allthe time just have the
conversation, you know, and kindof all the aspects of my life
lead back to just having theconversation.
You know, if I need to talk tosomebody about how I'm
(31:12):
struggling, what I'm goingthrough in life, it's really
hard to solve it by yourself.
I mean, you can spend time, youcan, you can reflect, you can
have, you know, inner thoughtsand you can, you know, talk to
yourself and that kind of stuff.
But I think reaching out tosomebody and just having a
conversation whether it's you'regoing through a rough time or
there's something you want to doin life, you know I I'm really
(31:33):
big and I've told my kids athousand times too there's
something you want to do in life, Find somebody that's done it,
Talk to them.
Or, you know, call somebodythat's expert in that field.
When it comes to mortgages, ifyou want to buy a home, you
don't have to go buy it tomorrow, but talk to somebody and see
how to get on track to get there, I think.
I just think communication isso huge and through the years
I've learned more and more.
(31:54):
The only way to find out aboutanything is to ask somebody
about it.
I mean, you've just you've gotto ask somebody and if you can,
you know.
Like I said, if you knowsomebody, that's where you want
to go, that's the best place tostart.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
Yeah, cause they've been through it.
Speaker 11 (32:07):
Yeah, and they're going to have the best advice to
tell you how to get started andhelp you learn it.
So you know, from the smallestthing to the largest thing, I
think the best thing you can dois just reach out and be
open-minded about it.
If that's really where you wantto go or what you need help
with, you can find it.
You've just got to be willingto be open-minded and be open to
it.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah Well, they can't help you if you don't ask for
the help.
Absolutely, they're not mindreaders, yeah.
Speaker 11 (32:32):
I've got so many things because I'm in my 50s now
, so many things that I go.
I wish I would have askedsomebody sooner.
So that's why I think that'sthe first step is you know it it
?
I learned a whole lot of thatprocess through our grief and
through losing Ryan.
Um was how much you need otherpeople.
I was, you know, through throughhigh school, um, college age,
(32:57):
all that kind of stuff.
I was very quiet, didn't talkto a lot of people and and
really just didn't share hardlyany thoughts.
I was really bad about keepingeverything inside and I learned
through Stacy, through what wewent through with Ryan, about
how much just being open andtalking to people.
I mean, you know, I kind offell into sales almost 30 years
ago, into mortgages, and peoplethat I went to high school are
like dude.
I can't believe when I see avideo of you talking like you
(33:19):
barely, you know, said a word inhigh school, like you just did
your thing, didn't really talkto anybody, and it's such, a,
such a more healthy, enjoyableexperience in life sharing it
with other people.
So, just, you know, openingyour mind and being able to
reach out and talk to people hasbeen huge for me.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, absolutely.
When you started out, obviouslyMr Harris had a depth being an
attorney, being a professor, allthose things so obviously he
helped you in this world ofbecoming a CPA.
But what else like what othermentors have you had in your
life?
Speaker 17 (33:56):
So I've had several mentors in my life.
Tom Harris was one of those.
He was a brilliant man, knewall about taxes.
Now he mentored me in a waythat I don't think he realized,
and that was in work-lifebalance, because he had none.
His goal was to die with hishand on a calculator, leaned
over a tax return.
(34:16):
That is not my goal.
Speaker 1 (34:17):
Sure.
Speaker 17 (34:19):
And so I saw that in him my father has been a huge
part of mentoring me because,like I said, I grew up in the
family of entrepreneurs, and somy mother and father, when we
sat around the dinner table atnight, we talked about issues,
or they talked about and welistened issues with employees,
(34:39):
issues with bankers, how to getfinancing, how to promote this
product, and so, as young girls,me and my sisters were learning
more than we really realized wewere doing, which has served us
so well.
And then, you know, your dad isprobably your biggest
cheerleader or at least mine was, and he made me feel like Tiger
(35:00):
Woods on the golf course whichmediocre at best would be the
way to describe that.
But he always helped, instillconfidence in me, but was able
to critique me and to help me bebetter in business, and one of
the things that he told me whenI became a CPA and was opening
(35:23):
my own firm.
I said Daddy, what should I doLike?
What, as a business owner,would you want your accountant
to do?
And he said we know you're smart, you've got CPA after your name
, you've gone to college, youpassed that test, which is very,
very hard to pass, so you don'tneed to talk down to me, you
don't need to talk over my head.
You need to talk to me in ways Ican understand my business and
(35:45):
help me be better.
And so that was a huge thingthat he instilled in me is speak
to your client in terms thatthey can understand, because
they need to walk away from youroffice, from that tax return,
from that meeting, andunderstand why they owe the IRS,
(36:09):
why they're getting a refund,why their quarter was down or up
this year or this season.
So I think that is a huge partof it.
And then I've also had severalbusiness owners in my community
and in Middle Tennessee bankersas well just kind of take me
under their wing and help mefind financing for clients or
help me find other strategies tobe in business, and I'm
(36:29):
grateful for all the people thathave poured into me, and that's
why I think it is so importantfor me to do likewise.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Yeah, absolutely.
Anybody can say I want to go dosomething.
Speaker 16 (36:37):
Yeah, and we hope you do.
Our goal is to get women intothe outdoors safely and have the
knowledge and then a friendgroup that'll do it.
So if you're brand new to, say,paddle boarding, you can post
in there hey, I'm thinking aboutgetting a paddle board, what do
y'all think?
And you'll have 15 peoplethat'll tell you hey, this is
what worked for me as a lady.
This one's lighter to carry oreasier to manage or you know
(36:57):
whatever they're looking for.
So it's been cool to watch thatkind of mentorship happen
organically.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Right, and they're really just.
They're trying to help somebodyand let's be real, I mean, we
all like to talk about ourselves, for sure.
Yeah, and so them.
Sharing their experience ismaking them more connected to
the group which is also helpingsomebody else out.
Speaker 16 (37:16):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
And they don't feel like, oh I'm, I'm this weird
person that wants to do this.
Nobody else does it.
Just because nobody in yoursubdivision or in your circle
does it doesn't mean it doesn'thappen.
Speaker 16 (37:26):
Yes, and something unique kind of about our events
is there's not, um, an agedemographic.
We have everyone that you knowis coming out of high school,
all the way to ladies that areretired and have to coordinate
their babysitting of theirgrandchildren's schedule to come
play with us, and we're allshooting the big guns.
It doesn't matter and you don'thave to have any knowledge.
(37:46):
We won't speak gun at you, wedon't expect you to know
anything.
You come in and then we'll walkyou through what you need to
know.
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah, really one of those environments where you
meet them, where they are.
Speaker 16 (37:57):
For sure, for sure, and you meet them where they are
For sure, for sure.
So, and we try to demystifythis stuff.
You know, hunting has been kindof a club for a long time, and
if you're not in it, you ain'tin it.
So we try to demystify and wehave great partners, the TWRA,
the Tennessee WildlifeFederation, so many guys across
the board that'll help us outand help us learn, cause I don't
know either.
I'm not the expert.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
I'm not the expert, I'm not a turkey hunter, I don't
know.
I'm right there learning withthem.
So it's been cool.
We've learned a lot.
Team is Jim Cripps here withthe Charge Forward podcast.
I just want to tell you I loveyou, I appreciate you listening,
I appreciate you forsubscribing and sharing the
Charge Forward podcast withpeople you know and you love,
because that's what we're herefor.
We are here to share theamazing stories, the things that
people have been through, theways that they were able to
(38:46):
improve their life, so that youcan take little nuggets from
theirs and help improve yourstory and be better tomorrow
than you were today.
I hope that this is the toolyou needed at the right time and
that you find value in theamazing guests that we bring
each and every week.
Thanks so much and don't forgetnew episodes drop every
Thursday.
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