March 3, 2024 • 33 mins
Meet Erin Caldwell, Social Worker/ Therapist, LCSW. Struggling to navigate life after a high-conflict divorce can feel like wandering through a labyrinth with no exit in sight – but it doesn't have to be that way. Erin Caldwell joins us to share her transformative journey and how it inspired her to create a community program for women, particularly single moms, looking for a beacon of hope. Her approach weaves together self-paced online learning with live, weekly sessions, providing a sanctuary where participants can connect and foster growth amidst the chaos of everyday life.
As a busy mom, finding time for personal development while keeping up with the whirlwind of daily responsibilities can seem daunting. Erin’s program is tailored to fit the complex schedules of women who are managing it all. She crafts a flexible learning experience that allows for deep engagement with the material on your own terms, while also emphasizing the importance of connecting live with the community to support and uplift each other. Post-programs ensure that the path to growth doesn't end after the initial 14 weeks, but continues to evolve as a journey of lifelong learning.
Erin says, "If there's one thing I've learned from my own tale of resilience, it's that the aftermath of a tumultuous divorce can either define you or be the foundation upon which you build a stronger, more stable self. In sharing my story, I hope to illuminate the power of positivity and the necessity of self-care, especially when your children are looking to you as their guide." Erin's program offers a roadmap to healing that is easy accessible online. Reach out to her today and set up a FREE 45 minute consultation and see if this is the right fit for you. Join us for this heartfelt narrative, and let it accompany you on your path to self-reflection, healing, and crafting more resilient relationships.
Erin Caldwell, Clinical Social Worker/ Therapist, LCSW
https://www.newchaptercoaching.online/
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/New.Chapter.Coach
Thank you for listening to our show! If you are looking for meditations, breathing exercises, yoga or aerial yoga (@CarrieAIRYoga), we've got that too! Check out our YouTube videos Especially developed to increase brain flow, stimulate the vagus nerve and relieve stress. If you are on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube or Twitter, click and follow! You are apart of other people's healing. Join me and let's make this planet a little nicer.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Yeah, yeah, about how the program is kind of designed
and I'm excited about it.
Um, so it's, it's a Combination, right, it's an online.
There's eight chapters, many,many, many lessons that cover
lots of topics for women to doon their own, and Then there's a
weekly live community I call itthe champion community where we
(00:24):
gather together and we addressproblems, we address struggles,
we talk about successes and justreally create a community of
connection and understanding.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
So welcome Aaron Caldwell.
Therapists, guru, friend, mom,wife, all the lists, taxi driver
, everything Amazing.
And how I know you is well, youhelped my son several years ago
and God sent for our family.
(00:57):
I mean, really, it changed hislife and he's doing so good by
the way he's graduating collegein May.
We're flying up to NewHampshire.
Yes, girl friends for over ayear now and they are just doing
amazing, so happy.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Wonderful, I figured.
When I have not heard from himthat things are, I my hope is
things are good, right, right.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
So, with that said, you know I remember discussions
with you years ago about yourjourney and where you're going
and you know we had you on thepodcast several years ago
talking about your story andyour loss of an 18 month old
baby and your journey throughthat and healing and all of it.
(01:43):
It's getting chills justtalking about it.
It's such a great story and soinspiring and you've helped a
lot of women and you've beenthrough divorce yourself.
Yes, and that's a whole notherstory.
But you tell me about whatyou've created.
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So just have a pat.
I have a passion for helpingmoms.
I have a passion for helpingWomen who want to move in a
different direction in theirlives and feel stuck, and I see
that so often not that itdoesn't happen in multiple areas
of life, right.
But I Connect so deeply withsingle moms who were really
(02:29):
struggling to find their wayforward, especially when having
left an unhealthy marriage, highconflict, divorce, narcissism
in the picture like just a lotof complexities.
I Know I had to work reallyhard to find my way forward and
I wish I had had a little moredirection back then.
(02:52):
You know, because I could haveused a support system and a
camaraderie, a people around methat understood what I was going
through and really what I.
What I got was a great supportsystem but not an understanding.
Yeah, how hard and difficult itreally deeply is.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, and there's so many people out there, you know,
and then when you go throughsomething like this, and then
you're like, what am I supposedto do, you know, and just
finding a therapist just youknow, in my own journey trying
to find it for my son andfinding the right one, and it's
a lot of money, and then ajourney and it's like no, I just
(03:31):
need help right now.
I don't Want to work for two andthree months of trying and then
you just want to give up.
I mean, I have friends thatI've referred to you because I'm
just, you know, if anything,just go once and just feel the
support that she can give you.
It's just so perfect whatyou're doing right now.
(03:53):
And so with this module, you'vecreated this, which I think is
so beautiful in itself becauseMe, as a busy mom and a wife, if
I'm sitting down trying to dosomething, you know, and maybe
out of desperation, it would bea lot easier for me to sit down
at my computer at night, whenthe kids are asleep, trying to
(04:15):
help me navigate, instead of Igotta make appointment and do
this, which is all good and youshould.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
But Tell me about that, tell me about the module
and yeah, yeah, about how theprogram is kind of designed and
I'm excited about it.
So it's it's a Combination,right, it's an online.
There's eight chapters, many,many, many lessons that cover
lots of topics for women to doon their own.
(04:44):
And Then there's a weekly livecommunity I call it the champion
community where we gathertogether and we addressed
problems, we address struggles,we talk about successes and just
really create a community ofconnection and understanding.
That's my goal.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Okay, so wait.
So you start the module andthis program and then you have a
date that you set up every week, with the women.
Mm-hmm, I'm just like tune in.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, it's just a live, youknow zoom meeting where we're
all connecting, and then we havea daily.
We have a private Facebookcommunity where we can interact
and Ask questions.
Connect, you know, shareburdens on a daily basis.
Mm-hmm.
And then I love that I've stillincluded I'm gonna have three
(05:42):
individual sessions with eachclient, so I still get that
personal connection.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Oh good.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, I want to get to know.
I want to know your story, Iwant to know your struggles and
I want to make sure that whatwe're doing on this journey is
applying to what you need.
So it's a Session with mebeginning kind of middle and end
of program.
So in general it's it's a 12week program that somebody is
agreeing to be a part of,actually extended it to 14 weeks
(06:12):
just so we all have extra timeand leniency in there.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay so is this like a certain start date, or can
someone just start any day?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Any day.
I'm just gonna do a rollinggroup Okay yeah, I'm gonna keep
the numbers so that it stillfeels intimate enough Mm-hmm,
and then one side.
You know, if I exceed thatnumber, I'll just add on another
day that we meet live.
So I just really want everybodyto feel connected.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well, that sounds awesome.
I mean, not just the programitself, but think about how
you're connecting all thesewomen.
I mean, you're gonna probablycreate some BFS in this group,
you know, oh.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I can think and dream of all kinds of places this
could go.
So, oh yeah, just from theconnection you know.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
So when you send me the link the other day and I
clicked it open, the first thingthat I saw was how to co-parent
with a narcissistic partner.
Is that what it said?
Something like.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah, with a narcissistic ex.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I thought you know what I mean.
I've been married for 28 years,I'm not getting divorced and I
love him beyond.
And it's great.
It's great, but I have a lot offriends that have gone through
stuff like this, like I saidearlier and referred them, even
(07:46):
friends that are remarried rightnow and they're still trying to
co-parent with that ex-partner,and I just think, at any time,
this is something that you coulddefinitely use.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yes, I think that when we're caught in a high
conflict and I kind of use highconflict, divorce and high
conflict, personality andnarcissism a little
interchangeably, and the reasonI do that is because I do not
assume that there is an actualdiagnosis of every woman,
(08:26):
ex-husband who's gonna bejoining me, right?
Yeah, I feel very presumptiveand I am cautious never to
overuse the word narcissism,really careful about that, cause
I feel like it dilutes theimpact of what it really is.
I'm just overusing it Righthere.
we say it in different ways, butGod, I totally forgot the
(08:46):
question now.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Can you define narcissism for me, Just because
I know what it is?
And maybe there are thosethey've heard it and maybe they
think, oh, isn't that the guythat's staring at himself and
flexing at the gym all the time?
A little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I think there's a little bit more to that, though
right, yeah, yeah, well, I meanI think in general, we need to
think of narcissism as a fluidscale.
Right, we all have narcissistictraits and that's healthy.
We should have somenarcissistic traits.
We do need to be aware of ourneeds, our wants, our desires,
(09:24):
right.
But when you get to theunhealthy, toxic level of
narcissism, you're talking aboutsomebody who's unable to
empathize or understand theirpartner, their children's, their
colleagues' experience whatthey're struggling with.
They don't understand theirimpact on them.
(09:45):
Depending on the kind ofnarcissism you're talking about,
somebody could be more of whatwe think of, like the Napoleon
overt narcissist, but there areother subtypes of narcissism
that are much more subtle andharder to see, harder to grasp
what is going on.
So it's not always the personwho's boasting about themselves
(10:07):
publicly and their successes andtheir great talents, although
that's certainly a part of it.
It's a need for excessiveadmiration, a sense of
entitlement, a feeling of beingsuperior to others.
I mean the result is thisperson's needs and experience
matters and everybody else's isdenied.
(10:30):
That's kind of the end result.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Kind of a funny story real quick.
A person a long time ago wentto therapy.
Therapists told them here's abook on narcissism.
I want you to read it becausethere's someone that I believe
in your small circle that is.
So they went home and theystarted to read it and they
(10:55):
texted the therapist back andthey were like, did you give me
this book because I am?
And the therapist said just thefact that you asked me that
you're not.
But I thought that was prettyeye-opening.
I mean, that small littlecomment, that little question
(11:17):
kind of cleared things up alittle bit.
I mean, you need to beself-reflective and check your
own self, right, but if you'renever checking it, is it kind of
the one that's always right, nomatter what.
I mean yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Definitely their experience is what's real and
everybody else's experience isunimportant or not valid, denied
.
Oh, I see you get very lostwithin a narcissist world and
again, I'm not sayingeverybody's a narcissist, but
I'm using that as a spectrumRight, but you do.
(11:58):
You lose your sense of selfbecause there's just so much
gaslighting, there's so muchprojection that you lose track
of who you are within thisrelationship and who you are
with, how you interact with theworld.
Yeah, it's really a denial ofself in the end.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Wow.
So if someone hears this andthey're like that sounds like me
, you know, maybe something Iwant to do then and they're
thinking, hmm, 12, 13, 14 weeks,I wonder how time consuming
this could be with the kids andI'm a divorce and this and that.
So if they sit down to thisprogram like what is the program
(12:43):
, look like the steps, can youjust go to it when it's
available?
You know it's easy for them,sure.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Sure, yes.
All the lesson videos Iwouldn't say all, the majority
are very, very short, so it'ssomething where you could listen
to it on a car ride, you couldlisten to it on a break at work
Okay, you're going to walk andlisten to it.
So I wanted the material, thelearning time, to be in small
broken up parts that busy momshave time for.
(13:14):
Oh good, that's great.
I think it can be as in depthas you want it to be.
If you want to put a lot ofheart and soul into it, you can.
If it's a chapter or a sectionthat you're like, I don't think
I need to give this quite asmuch.
I think you can do that too.
You can.
You know there's a way to runthrough the lessons and the
(13:36):
worksheets and maybe not give itas much time.
So I think there's someflexibility.
I would encourage everyone toallow attending at least one of
the live meetings a week.
So that's an hour, I would say.
If you gave another three tofour hours a week total, you're
doing a really great in depthjob.
(13:57):
Okay, you would have to do morethan that.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Okay, yeah, that kind of does a good thing.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
That's broken up over time right, right, and there's
no pace that you have to keep up.
If you only get through part ofit and we're at 14 weeks, well
then let's look at what you needfrom there.
It's really self-paced and thatwhen you have more time, you
can give it, and when you don't,you don't.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah, well, I hate asking this part, but because so
many of my friends that I'mlike you got to go see Aaron,
you know, if they tell me or I'mlooking, or they ask I'm, you
know, got to go see, you know,aaron.
And the second question theyask how much?
So is this something that ifsomeone I mean I have no idea
(14:47):
how much this is is there ascholarship program for someone?
Is there, like, how does thatwork exactly?
Like, once you're done with the13, 14 weeks, then what?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Well, I think that my hope is that when we get to the
end of the 14 weeks, if you'restill in a place where there's a
lot of conflict, you're havinga lot of turmoil, and you will
still want that support.
I would like to transition thatto the next tier of support.
It's not about the learningmodules, it's just about the
(15:23):
connection in the community andhaving a for those who have
already gone through the program, right.
So it's a graduation group andmy thoughts, masterclass.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, so I'm involved in some groups within my
industry and we meet just likewhat you said, you know, and
when we need to just vent, right, or ask a question, it's such a
great place to go because thenyou've met and you've connected
with these people that you canget the answers and they get you
(15:54):
and guess what they want totalk about it, right, right,
it's hard.
From my experience with myfriends and what they tell me,
you know, they are hurting bad,yeah, and then they're talking
about it 24 hours a day, sevendays a week, because I would.
(16:15):
It is just like what I wentthrough with my son, of course,
and of course I want to talk topeople who are going through it
because I need help, you know,yeah, and so in these groups
that I'm in, we've evolved thatway and now it's called a
masterclass and then you havefriends forever, you know.
So there'll be times that'llcome up.
You know this parenting thing,omg, can you tell me this, erin,
(16:40):
it's hard, it is so hard, it ishard stuff, yeah, yeah.
And then so, whatever comes upnext time, like, oh, my God, I
didn't answer that question onthe module, you know right, at
least you got friends or you togo back.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I just really want it to be so integrated.
That's my goal, is not?
And listen, I love my therapyclients and I love to come and
have a really powerful sessionand know that they're going to
take that home and apply it.
But this is something that youcan integrate as much as you
want into every day of your life.
It's not just once a week whenyou see me in the office.
(17:20):
It's something where you haveaccess to me and others
regularly.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I'm so excited you're doing this because I remember
sitting in those that room rightthere.
You rearranged it.
It's over there, yeah, I likeit Looks good.
But I remember it was like wewere just hanging out as friends
.
I'd go up there and we'd justtalk sometimes and you're just
like I just know I'm birthingsomething.
(17:46):
I need to get all these womentogether.
I just don't know how, and I'vewatched this thing develop and
I am just over the moon for youbecause this is finally like,
instead of just sitting with oneperson each session, which is
great and you're seeing allthese women and you're like gosh
, if I could just get themtogether and talk and help each
(18:09):
other it would be such a greatsupport system.
Which also reminds me some ofthe conversations that we had
then.
Which I'm real curious about isthat your heart was like
meditations and yoga and otherthings.
Are there things like that inthis module, or maybe there'll
be something that grows from it?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yes, well.
So yes, there, let me just tellyou some of the topics we cover
, because it's really veryinclusive.
I mean, I've tried to be verythoughtful about what is going
to help somebody at this stage,what insight, what introspection
, what learning is going to helpthem move forward.
That's my whole goal.
(18:51):
How do we help you move forwardand not feel so stuck in the
conflict and the chaos?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
So we go through.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I kind of do a past, present, future approach.
That's my therapy approach also, but, right, that's my approach
in life.
We look at what's happened inthe past, digest it, understand
it, heal from it.
What's in the present, that'sin our life, and then where do
we want it to be?
So it'll be things likereflecting on your marriage,
(19:21):
your part, your role in themarriage.
What did you feel good about?
What did you struggle with?
Who were you when you came intothe marriage?
Who are you as you're leavingthe marriage?
You know a healing ofunderstanding grief and divorce
and how it affects you and yourchildren, kind of the layered
understanding, the nuances andthe layers to what's going on,
(19:44):
and not just beingExperientially stuck in it, if
that makes sense.
So, and then we go on to.
You know the importance and Iknow this sounds crazy but silly
, but it is important theimportance of gratitude in our
life, the importance ofconnecting to what's positive in
(20:04):
life, because this is sonegative, it's so consuming.
The glimmers of hope andpositive can get lost in it.
Yeah, and so how to bring thatinto ourselves?
How is our distorted thinkingImpacting or making it worse?
We're gonna learn a lot aboutnarcissism, how to?
(20:26):
How to interact with anarcissist or a high-conflict
person.
Again, it's a spectrum how toInteract them as a parent, how
to support your children andtheir relationship with them,
how to bring the focus away fromthis person who's bringing so
much stress into your home andInstead refocusing on your
(20:48):
relationship with your kids.
What do you want it to be?
How did what parent, what kindof parent do you want to be?
So a lot of parents and familyis included in this, and Then,
through all that, we also spenda little time reflecting on how
did I end up with this?
person and who do I want to endup with?
(21:08):
What do I want the future to belike?
So it kind of brings in allthose things.
I mean that includes someattachment work, that includes
reconnecting with your internalvoice, finding your confidence
and trusting yourself again, soit kind of it's really
encompassing of a lot.
I'm trying to think childrenabout values, because all these
(21:28):
things are, if you understand it, in the importance of this
person who you're trying toco-parent with or Partner parent
with Is not giving the lessonsthat you agree with.
Right there they're teachingI'm important but you're not
important.
(21:48):
Your ones and things are secondto my ones and needs.
Your success is a reflection ofme.
So the values are so importantfor children and for us and
reconnecting with.
Well, how should I be treated?
What do I think is important?
What do I want in myrelationships?
Because by itself it gives acontrast to what they're
(22:12):
experiencing.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
It's so good, aaron.
That's so good Because we don'tstop and think about a lot of
those things.
We just go and we just live and, if anything, it'll make you
stop and think about what do Ibelieve?
Yeah, what do I really believe?
What do I want to teach my kids?
How do, even if you believesomething different now than you
(22:36):
did before?
I mean Figure it out and thengo forward.
You know, I mean Not just fordivorce, for anyone.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
If I it can help you now Figuring those things out,
you know yeah, it's definitelyabout living with intention,
right making, communicating withintention and purpose,
parenting with intention andpurpose, clarity right clarity
about all of these things of youknow, values are our compass.
(23:10):
That's what gives us adirection in life of where we
want to go, and oftentimes, whenwe're struggling, it's because
we're not aligned with ourvalues.
We think this is important, butwe're actually making these
choices and then we don't likeourselves.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
It doesn't.
Then we have a bad thoughtbecause we don't like ourselves.
Then we have another aboutthought, and then all these
feelings are real and they'rereleased in your body and then
it's just this cycle that justdoesn't stop.
I mean, I've gone through myown bouts of major Depression in
my life.
I mean it's in my family, youknow, but people are surprised
(23:47):
sometimes to hear that.
But it's chemical, you know,and I want to change that, and
part of it is Trying to get ridof those thoughts.
You know, when you're so usedto the same thing or maybe you
grew up that way that Someonewas negative and it's just kind
of ingrained in your brain.
(24:10):
It's just start, even if youdon't believe it.
And I was like whatever.
No, really, if you don'tbelieve this statement, I'm
happy today, I love my life, orthis or whatever.
Just say it anyway.
And then just say it again.
And then just say it again, andthen you just keep Going all
that.
There are millions of thingsyou're grateful for water, you
(24:34):
and me alive, I mean.
Start there, you can't think ofanything.
Water, right, it's pretty damngood.
And then just go and I thoughtI mean I was at such a low place
, I mean this years ago, andpostpartum depression and all
the kids you know I.
There's no way that thesethoughts are ever going to go
(24:56):
away, but they do.
Some people need medication orwhatever, but a lot of times
it's your circumstances.
You need people that arepositive.
You need to tell yourselfpositive things Because right at
that moment you're the one thatgets to make the decision.
Am I going to get help or not?
(25:18):
Am I going to sit and waller inmy pain?
That feels so good to waller insometimes and feel sorry for
ourselves.
But after a while, man, thatgets real old.
Yes, and then you look back andgo.
I just spent two months doingthat.
What a waste.
(25:39):
You only got so many minutes onthis earth.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
I think that when you're divorced and the other
parents is not providing thehealthy example.
You are the only example foryour children, so the impact of
you finding your stability sothat you can provide that for
your kids is so important.
It can be so good to meet ourkids' needs and have a job and
(26:09):
all these increased burdens whenwe divorce Because there is
more on our plate as a singleparent.
But if we aren't doing our ownhealing and we aren't centering
ourselves, then we aren'tactually doing all these things
with intention.
We're doing it as a reactiveform.
So I wanted to be just a veryintentional process to what each
(26:30):
of us needs, and I have to say,in my experience I went through
a horrific divorce.
I spent about 11 years in thecourt system and my frustration
and it just took me so long toget to a better place.
(26:50):
But because my environment wasjust telling me even my own
attorney, who I adore, and herapproach was you need to
communicate, you need tocollaborate.
That's not possible.
It was not possible, and sowhat I needed was somebody who
understood it wasn't possibleand could help me figure out how
(27:11):
to protect myself.
I insulated myself because theresult was I just kept
subjecting myself to thisconflict, trying to please the
courts, trying to please otherswho wanted this cooperative
relationship that I couldn't get.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
It's so exhausting, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Totally.
I feel like there was a dogchasing my tail, like I can't
get there, I can't get there,but I know it's there.
It was maddening and I really Itried so hard.
It was always with suchheartfelt intention to do the
right thing, but it's not theright thing to do.
In these high conflictsituations is not necessarily
(27:54):
what others who are not in ahigh conflict situation are
doing.
We need to do it differently.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, well, I'm really sorry that you went
through all that, because I knowsome of those stories, you know
what.
You're turning it around tohelp people and so thank you?
Speaker 1 (28:10):
I hope so.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Yeah, you did it, it was for a purpose.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Taking the tools that you've learned now.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Right, right, I think it was.
Finally, thank God, I got to myown therapist right and the
therapist not therapist.
Oh yeah.
But thank God I got to theright one who eventually really
helped me just learn to trustmyself again, trust my own voice
, trust my experience of theworld.
It gave me the confidence tokind of forge forward and go
(28:45):
into a place to be able to finda healthy relationship right,
which, you know, I adore myhusband, so I feel like you know
it's the same birthday as major.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Oh really, I have Michael's birthday on my phone
for some reason twice, so I seeit every year on major's
birthday.
I'm going to go to Texaco tellhim happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Right, that's funny.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
So is there anything you want to leave off with, Like
how can they get a hold of you?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I'll have everything in the show notes, obviously,
but yeah, well, I think it wouldbe great if they could just
reach out to me.
I have my Facebook site.
It connects to my website, soreally finding me on Facebook
right now is probably theeasiest way, and I have
information on there.
And then there's a way tosubmit and book an appointment
(29:42):
with me.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Oh, good, easy.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I really want to find the fine.
I'm looking for the right rightfit of women right.
Yeah, and so if somebody, Italk with somebody and it's not
that they're a fit for this,then I'm absolutely going to
talk with them about what wouldbe a fit.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Okay, good, I was wondering about that.
So if they reach out to you, doyou do like a free 15 minute
consultation or something likethat?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So once they have, you know,kind of a brief video that talks
about the program and whatthey'll learn, and then from
there they can book a 45 minutecall with me For free.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah Saying girl, I'll be calling you every week
for 45 minutes, but you know,this isn't just for people that
are local.
I mean, people can dial in,they can do the module, they can
also meet with you on Zoom,right.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Absolutely yeah, yeah , yeah.
No, this is not really thereason.
I, you know, I still will havemy therapy practice and I, you
know, I specialize in EMDR and Ido intensives and not really I
do intensives and that's myactual in office therapy clients
.
But for everyone else, this isa present, forward future and
(31:04):
more of a coaching approach.
I would call it a coachingprogram because I'm not going to
do a deep dive into what didyou experience at five years old
that led you to this person?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Right, yeah, I would like you to do.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
I mean, there's some opportunity for you to do a
little reflection, but that'snot my goal.
And guiding you, my goal istaking you from where you are
and where you want to be.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah, so do they like journal and stuff?
Is there like questions andthey listen and question.
You kind of have your time andyeah.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
I have assessment tools in there, I have
journaling questions, I havemeditations, I have I call it
music therapy.
It's really just my funplaylist that talk about, I
don't know, female power and Idon't even start talking to me
about sound therapy.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
That's a real deal.
I mean, think about it.
We're vibration, music'svibration.
There's a reason why it makesyou feel good or happy, or mad,
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Right, it's so.
I had a lot of fun creatingthese places.
I bet I want to copy of that myex playlist and then you know
what, if I love again playlistand is it that?
One Almost very underwear.
It would like smashing out thecar.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
So we have all that.
Then I have lots of workbookpages, the video lesson modules.
It's really just it's.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
I can't even show you , I mean it's, it's packed.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
It's a thick load of material to go through.
There's a lot there, that'sawesome.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I'm so happy for you.
I'm so glad you got that thingdone, man.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I am too.
It wasn't the actual programitself that I have.
Honestly, it was the videos.
I had to learn to be okay withbeing on video Girl.
It's really hard for me.
I challenge myself.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I challenge everyone to go through that to listen to
their voice for real like reallynot just on an answering call,
like for a long time.
Know yourself, get to knowyourself.
It will help you in your lifebeyond and you'll love yourself
more.
Even all your dumb, quirkythings that you do, it will
(33:17):
Right, right.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
So, yeah, I'm really thrilled about it and I feel
like I've gotten to support mychildren in how to handle this
relationship in their life andI've seen all the work that
they've done and I reflect backon okay, what did I do that was
helpful and what did I do thatwas not helpful for them?
Yeah, I really just want to.
(33:40):
I want to help others, not haveto figure all that out on their
own.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, Thank you.
Thank you for doing that, sucha great help for people.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
It's a great time for me, thank you so much I love
you.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
I'll keep you in the loop with what's going on and
all of our recordings andeverything here.
I'll stop it.
Yeah, yeah, about how the program is kind of designed
and I'm excited about it.
Um, so it's, it's a Combination, right, it's an online.
There's eight chapters, many,many, many lessons that cover
lots of topics for women to doon their own, and Then there's a
weekly live community I call itthe champion community where we
(00:24):
gather together and we addressproblems, we address struggles,
we talk about successes and justreally create a community of
connection and understanding.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
So welcome Aaron Caldwell.
Therapists, guru, friend, mom,wife, all the lists, taxi driver
, everything Amazing.
And how I know you is well, youhelped my son several years ago
and God sent for our family.
(00:57):
I mean, really, it changed hislife and he's doing so good by
the way he's graduating collegein May.
We're flying up to NewHampshire.
Yes, girl friends for over ayear now and they are just doing
amazing, so happy.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Wonderful, I figured.
When I have not heard from himthat things are, I my hope is
things are good, right, right.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
So, with that said, you know I remember discussions
with you years ago about yourjourney and where you're going
and you know we had you on thepodcast several years ago
talking about your story andyour loss of an 18 month old
baby and your journey throughthat and healing and all of it.
(01:43):
It's getting chills justtalking about it.
It's such a great story and soinspiring and you've helped a
lot of women and you've beenthrough divorce yourself.
Yes, and that's a whole notherstory.
But you tell me about whatyou've created.
What's going on?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So just have a pat.
I have a passion for helpingmoms.
I have a passion for helpingWomen who want to move in a
different direction in theirlives and feel stuck, and I see
that so often not that itdoesn't happen in multiple areas
of life, right.
But I Connect so deeply withsingle moms who were really
(02:29):
struggling to find their wayforward, especially when having
left an unhealthy marriage, highconflict, divorce, narcissism
in the picture like just a lotof complexities.
I Know I had to work reallyhard to find my way forward and
I wish I had had a little moredirection back then.
(02:52):
You know, because I could haveused a support system and a
camaraderie, a people around methat understood what I was going
through and really what I.
What I got was a great supportsystem but not an understanding.
Yeah, how hard and difficult itreally deeply is.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Yeah, and there's so many people out there, you know,
and then when you go throughsomething like this, and then
you're like, what am I supposedto do, you know, and just
finding a therapist just youknow, in my own journey trying
to find it for my son andfinding the right one, and it's
a lot of money, and then ajourney and it's like no, I just
(03:31):
need help right now.
I don't Want to work for two andthree months of trying and then
you just want to give up.
I mean, I have friends thatI've referred to you because I'm
just, you know, if anything,just go once and just feel the
support that she can give you.
It's just so perfect whatyou're doing right now.
(03:53):
And so with this module, you'vecreated this, which I think is
so beautiful in itself becauseMe, as a busy mom and a wife, if
I'm sitting down trying to dosomething, you know, and maybe
out of desperation, it would bea lot easier for me to sit down
at my computer at night, whenthe kids are asleep, trying to
(04:15):
help me navigate, instead of Igotta make appointment and do
this, which is all good and youshould.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
But Tell me about that, tell me about the module
and yeah, yeah, about how theprogram is kind of designed and
I'm excited about it.
So it's it's a Combination,right, it's an online.
There's eight chapters, many,many, many lessons that cover
lots of topics for women to doon their own.
(04:44):
And Then there's a weekly livecommunity I call it the champion
community where we gathertogether and we addressed
problems, we address struggles,we talk about successes and just
really create a community ofconnection and understanding.
That's my goal.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Okay, so wait.
So you start the module andthis program and then you have a
date that you set up every week, with the women.
Mm-hmm, I'm just like tune in.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, it's just a live, youknow zoom meeting where we're
all connecting, and then we havea daily.
We have a private Facebookcommunity where we can interact
and Ask questions.
Connect, you know, shareburdens on a daily basis.
Mm-hmm.
And then I love that I've stillincluded I'm gonna have three
(05:42):
individual sessions with eachclient, so I still get that
personal connection.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Oh good.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Yeah, I want to get to know.
I want to know your story, Iwant to know your struggles and
I want to make sure that whatwe're doing on this journey is
applying to what you need.
So it's a Session with mebeginning kind of middle and end
of program.
So in general it's it's a 12week program that somebody is
agreeing to be a part of,actually extended it to 14 weeks
(06:12):
just so we all have extra timeand leniency in there.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Okay so is this like a certain start date, or can
someone just start any day?
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Any day.
I'm just gonna do a rollinggroup Okay yeah, I'm gonna keep
the numbers so that it stillfeels intimate enough Mm-hmm,
and then one side.
You know, if I exceed thatnumber, I'll just add on another
day that we meet live.
So I just really want everybodyto feel connected.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Well, that sounds awesome.
I mean, not just the programitself, but think about how
you're connecting all thesewomen.
I mean, you're gonna probablycreate some BFS in this group,
you know, oh.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
I can think and dream of all kinds of places this
could go.
So, oh yeah, just from theconnection you know.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
So when you send me the link the other day and I
clicked it open, the first thingthat I saw was how to co-parent
with a narcissistic partner.
Is that what it said?
Something like.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yeah, with a narcissistic ex.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
I thought you know what I mean.
I've been married for 28 years,I'm not getting divorced and I
love him beyond.
And it's great.
It's great, but I have a lot offriends that have gone through
stuff like this, like I saidearlier and referred them, even
(07:46):
friends that are remarried rightnow and they're still trying to
co-parent with that ex-partner,and I just think, at any time,
this is something that you coulddefinitely use.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
Yes, I think that when we're caught in a high
conflict and I kind of use highconflict, divorce and high
conflict, personality andnarcissism a little
interchangeably, and the reasonI do that is because I do not
assume that there is an actualdiagnosis of every woman,
(08:26):
ex-husband who's gonna bejoining me, right?
Yeah, I feel very presumptiveand I am cautious never to
overuse the word narcissism,really careful about that, cause
I feel like it dilutes theimpact of what it really is.
I'm just overusing it Righthere.
we say it in different ways, butGod, I totally forgot the
(08:46):
question now.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Can you define narcissism for me, Just because
I know what it is?
And maybe there are thosethey've heard it and maybe they
think, oh, isn't that the guythat's staring at himself and
flexing at the gym all the time?
A little bit, a little bit.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
I think there's a little bit more to that, though
right, yeah, yeah, well, I meanI think in general, we need to
think of narcissism as a fluidscale.
Right, we all have narcissistictraits and that's healthy.
We should have somenarcissistic traits.
We do need to be aware of ourneeds, our wants, our desires,
(09:24):
right.
But when you get to theunhealthy, toxic level of
narcissism, you're talking aboutsomebody who's unable to
empathize or understand theirpartner, their children's, their
colleagues' experience whatthey're struggling with.
They don't understand theirimpact on them.
(09:45):
Depending on the kind ofnarcissism you're talking about,
somebody could be more of whatwe think of, like the Napoleon
overt narcissist, but there areother subtypes of narcissism
that are much more subtle andharder to see, harder to grasp
what is going on.
So it's not always the personwho's boasting about themselves
(10:07):
publicly and their successes andtheir great talents, although
that's certainly a part of it.
It's a need for excessiveadmiration, a sense of
entitlement, a feeling of beingsuperior to others.
I mean the result is thisperson's needs and experience
matters and everybody else's isdenied.
(10:30):
That's kind of the end result.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Kind of a funny story real quick.
A person a long time ago wentto therapy.
Therapists told them here's abook on narcissism.
I want you to read it becausethere's someone that I believe
in your small circle that is.
So they went home and theystarted to read it and they
(10:55):
texted the therapist back andthey were like, did you give me
this book because I am?
And the therapist said just thefact that you asked me that
you're not.
But I thought that was prettyeye-opening.
I mean, that small littlecomment, that little question
(11:17):
kind of cleared things up alittle bit.
I mean, you need to beself-reflective and check your
own self, right, but if you'renever checking it, is it kind of
the one that's always right, nomatter what.
I mean yes, yes.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Definitely their experience is what's real and
everybody else's experience isunimportant or not valid, denied
.
Oh, I see you get very lostwithin a narcissist world and
again, I'm not sayingeverybody's a narcissist, but
I'm using that as a spectrumRight, but you do.
(11:58):
You lose your sense of selfbecause there's just so much
gaslighting, there's so muchprojection that you lose track
of who you are within thisrelationship and who you are
with, how you interact with theworld.
Yeah, it's really a denial ofself in the end.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Wow.
So if someone hears this andthey're like that sounds like me
, you know, maybe something Iwant to do then and they're
thinking, hmm, 12, 13, 14 weeks,I wonder how time consuming
this could be with the kids andI'm a divorce and this and that.
So if they sit down to thisprogram like what is the program
(12:43):
, look like the steps, can youjust go to it when it's
available?
You know it's easy for them,sure.
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Sure, yes.
All the lesson videos Iwouldn't say all, the majority
are very, very short, so it'ssomething where you could listen
to it on a car ride, you couldlisten to it on a break at work
Okay, you're going to walk andlisten to it.
So I wanted the material, thelearning time, to be in small
broken up parts that busy momshave time for.
(13:14):
Oh good, that's great.
I think it can be as in depthas you want it to be.
If you want to put a lot ofheart and soul into it, you can.
If it's a chapter or a sectionthat you're like, I don't think
I need to give this quite asmuch.
I think you can do that too.
You can.
You know there's a way to runthrough the lessons and the
(13:36):
worksheets and maybe not give itas much time.
So I think there's someflexibility.
I would encourage everyone toallow attending at least one of
the live meetings a week.
So that's an hour, I would say.
If you gave another three tofour hours a week total, you're
doing a really great in depthjob.
(13:57):
Okay, you would have to do morethan that.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Okay, yeah, that kind of does a good thing.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
That's broken up over time right, right, and there's
no pace that you have to keep up.
If you only get through part ofit and we're at 14 weeks, well
then let's look at what you needfrom there.
It's really self-paced and thatwhen you have more time, you
can give it, and when you don't,you don't.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah, well, I hate asking this part, but because so
many of my friends that I'mlike you got to go see Aaron,
you know, if they tell me or I'mlooking, or they ask I'm, you
know, got to go see, you know,aaron.
And the second question theyask how much?
So is this something that ifsomeone I mean I have no idea
(14:47):
how much this is is there ascholarship program for someone?
Is there, like, how does thatwork exactly?
Like, once you're done with the13, 14 weeks, then what?
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Well, I think that my hope is that when we get to the
end of the 14 weeks, if you'restill in a place where there's a
lot of conflict, you're havinga lot of turmoil, and you will
still want that support.
I would like to transition thatto the next tier of support.
It's not about the learningmodules, it's just about the
(15:23):
connection in the community andhaving a for those who have
already gone through the program, right.
So it's a graduation group andmy thoughts, masterclass.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Yeah, so I'm involved in some groups within my
industry and we meet just likewhat you said, you know, and
when we need to just vent, right, or ask a question, it's such a
great place to go because thenyou've met and you've connected
with these people that you canget the answers and they get you
(15:54):
and guess what they want totalk about it, right, right,
it's hard.
From my experience with myfriends and what they tell me,
you know, they are hurting bad,yeah, and then they're talking
about it 24 hours a day, sevendays a week, because I would.
(16:15):
It is just like what I wentthrough with my son, of course,
and of course I want to talk topeople who are going through it
because I need help, you know,yeah, and so in these groups
that I'm in, we've evolved thatway and now it's called a
masterclass and then you havefriends forever, you know.
So there'll be times that'llcome up.
You know this parenting thing,omg, can you tell me this, erin,
(16:40):
it's hard, it is so hard, it ishard stuff, yeah, yeah.
And then so, whatever comes upnext time, like, oh, my God, I
didn't answer that question onthe module, you know right, at
least you got friends or you togo back.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
I just really want it to be so integrated.
That's my goal, is not?
And listen, I love my therapyclients and I love to come and
have a really powerful sessionand know that they're going to
take that home and apply it.
But this is something that youcan integrate as much as you
want into every day of your life.
It's not just once a week whenyou see me in the office.
(17:20):
It's something where you haveaccess to me and others
regularly.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
I'm so excited you're doing this because I remember
sitting in those that room rightthere.
You rearranged it.
It's over there, yeah, I likeit Looks good.
But I remember it was like wewere just hanging out as friends
.
I'd go up there and we'd justtalk sometimes and you're just
like I just know I'm birthingsomething.
(17:46):
I need to get all these womentogether.
I just don't know how, and I'vewatched this thing develop and
I am just over the moon for youbecause this is finally like,
instead of just sitting with oneperson each session, which is
great and you're seeing allthese women and you're like gosh
, if I could just get themtogether and talk and help each
(18:09):
other it would be such a greatsupport system.
Which also reminds me some ofthe conversations that we had
then.
Which I'm real curious about isthat your heart was like
meditations and yoga and otherthings.
Are there things like that inthis module, or maybe there'll
be something that grows from it?
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yes, well.
So yes, there, let me just tellyou some of the topics we cover
, because it's really veryinclusive.
I mean, I've tried to be verythoughtful about what is going
to help somebody at this stage,what insight, what introspection
, what learning is going to helpthem move forward.
That's my whole goal.
(18:51):
How do we help you move forwardand not feel so stuck in the
conflict and the chaos?
Speaker 2 (18:57):
So we go through.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
I kind of do a past, present, future approach.
That's my therapy approach also, but, right, that's my approach
in life.
We look at what's happened inthe past, digest it, understand
it, heal from it.
What's in the present, that'sin our life, and then where do
we want it to be?
So it'll be things likereflecting on your marriage,
(19:21):
your part, your role in themarriage.
What did you feel good about?
What did you struggle with?
Who were you when you came intothe marriage?
Who are you as you're leavingthe marriage?
You know a healing ofunderstanding grief and divorce
and how it affects you and yourchildren, kind of the layered
understanding, the nuances andthe layers to what's going on,
(19:44):
and not just beingExperientially stuck in it, if
that makes sense.
So, and then we go on to.
You know the importance and Iknow this sounds crazy but silly
, but it is important theimportance of gratitude in our
life, the importance ofconnecting to what's positive in
(20:04):
life, because this is sonegative, it's so consuming.
The glimmers of hope andpositive can get lost in it.
Yeah, and so how to bring thatinto ourselves?
How is our distorted thinkingImpacting or making it worse?
We're gonna learn a lot aboutnarcissism, how to?
(20:26):
How to interact with anarcissist or a high-conflict
person.
Again, it's a spectrum how toInteract them as a parent, how
to support your children andtheir relationship with them,
how to bring the focus away fromthis person who's bringing so
much stress into your home andInstead refocusing on your
(20:48):
relationship with your kids.
What do you want it to be?
How did what parent, what kindof parent do you want to be?
So a lot of parents and familyis included in this, and Then,
through all that, we also spenda little time reflecting on how
did I end up with this?
person and who do I want to endup with?
(21:08):
What do I want the future to belike?
So it kind of brings in allthose things.
I mean that includes someattachment work, that includes
reconnecting with your internalvoice, finding your confidence
and trusting yourself again, soit kind of it's really
encompassing of a lot.
I'm trying to think childrenabout values, because all these
(21:28):
things are, if you understand it, in the importance of this
person who you're trying toco-parent with or Partner parent
with Is not giving the lessonsthat you agree with.
Right there they're teachingI'm important but you're not
important.
(21:48):
Your ones and things are secondto my ones and needs.
Your success is a reflection ofme.
So the values are so importantfor children and for us and
reconnecting with.
Well, how should I be treated?
What do I think is important?
What do I want in myrelationships?
Because by itself it gives acontrast to what they're
(22:12):
experiencing.
Speaker 2 (22:14):
It's so good, aaron.
That's so good Because we don'tstop and think about a lot of
those things.
We just go and we just live and, if anything, it'll make you
stop and think about what do Ibelieve?
Yeah, what do I really believe?
What do I want to teach my kids?
How do, even if you believesomething different now than you
(22:36):
did before?
I mean Figure it out and thengo forward.
You know, I mean Not just fordivorce, for anyone.
Speaker 1 (22:48):
If I it can help you now Figuring those things out,
you know yeah, it's definitelyabout living with intention,
right making, communicating withintention and purpose,
parenting with intention andpurpose, clarity right clarity
about all of these things of youknow, values are our compass.
(23:10):
That's what gives us adirection in life of where we
want to go, and oftentimes, whenwe're struggling, it's because
we're not aligned with ourvalues.
We think this is important, butwe're actually making these
choices and then we don't likeourselves.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
It doesn't.
Then we have a bad thoughtbecause we don't like ourselves.
Then we have another aboutthought, and then all these
feelings are real and they'rereleased in your body and then
it's just this cycle that justdoesn't stop.
I mean, I've gone through myown bouts of major Depression in
my life.
I mean it's in my family, youknow, but people are surprised
(23:47):
sometimes to hear that.
But it's chemical, you know,and I want to change that, and
part of it is Trying to get ridof those thoughts.
You know, when you're so usedto the same thing or maybe you
grew up that way that Someonewas negative and it's just kind
of ingrained in your brain.
(24:10):
It's just start, even if youdon't believe it.
And I was like whatever.
No, really, if you don'tbelieve this statement, I'm
happy today, I love my life, orthis or whatever.
Just say it anyway.
And then just say it again.
And then just say it again, andthen you just keep Going all
that.
There are millions of thingsyou're grateful for water, you
(24:34):
and me alive, I mean.
Start there, you can't think ofanything.
Water, right, it's pretty damngood.
And then just go and I thoughtI mean I was at such a low place
, I mean this years ago, andpostpartum depression and all
the kids you know I.
There's no way that thesethoughts are ever going to go
(24:56):
away, but they do.
Some people need medication orwhatever, but a lot of times
it's your circumstances.
You need people that arepositive.
You need to tell yourselfpositive things Because right at
that moment you're the one thatgets to make the decision.
Am I going to get help or not?
(25:18):
Am I going to sit and waller inmy pain?
That feels so good to waller insometimes and feel sorry for
ourselves.
But after a while, man, thatgets real old.
Yes, and then you look back andgo.
I just spent two months doingthat.
What a waste.
(25:39):
You only got so many minutes onthis earth.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
I think that when you're divorced and the other
parents is not providing thehealthy example.
You are the only example foryour children, so the impact of
you finding your stability sothat you can provide that for
your kids is so important.
It can be so good to meet ourkids' needs and have a job and
(26:09):
all these increased burdens whenwe divorce Because there is
more on our plate as a singleparent.
But if we aren't doing our ownhealing and we aren't centering
ourselves, then we aren'tactually doing all these things
with intention.
We're doing it as a reactiveform.
So I wanted to be just a veryintentional process to what each
(26:30):
of us needs, and I have to say,in my experience I went through
a horrific divorce.
I spent about 11 years in thecourt system and my frustration
and it just took me so long toget to a better place.
(26:50):
But because my environment wasjust telling me even my own
attorney, who I adore, and herapproach was you need to
communicate, you need tocollaborate.
That's not possible.
It was not possible, and sowhat I needed was somebody who
understood it wasn't possibleand could help me figure out how
(27:11):
to protect myself.
I insulated myself because theresult was I just kept
subjecting myself to thisconflict, trying to please the
courts, trying to please otherswho wanted this cooperative
relationship that I couldn't get.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
It's so exhausting, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
Totally.
I feel like there was a dogchasing my tail, like I can't
get there, I can't get there,but I know it's there.
It was maddening and I really Itried so hard.
It was always with suchheartfelt intention to do the
right thing, but it's not theright thing to do.
In these high conflictsituations is not necessarily
(27:54):
what others who are not in ahigh conflict situation are
doing.
We need to do it differently.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
Yeah, well, I'm really sorry that you went
through all that, because I knowsome of those stories, you know
what.
You're turning it around tohelp people and so thank you?
Speaker 1 (28:10):
I hope so.
Speaker 2 (28:12):
Yeah, you did it, it was for a purpose.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Taking the tools that you've learned now.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Right, right, I think it was.
Finally, thank God, I got to myown therapist right and the
therapist not therapist.
Oh yeah.
But thank God I got to theright one who eventually really
helped me just learn to trustmyself again, trust my own voice
, trust my experience of theworld.
It gave me the confidence tokind of forge forward and go
(28:45):
into a place to be able to finda healthy relationship right,
which, you know, I adore myhusband, so I feel like you know
it's the same birthday as major.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Oh really, I have Michael's birthday on my phone
for some reason twice, so I seeit every year on major's
birthday.
I'm going to go to Texaco tellhim happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Right, that's funny.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
So is there anything you want to leave off with, Like
how can they get a hold of you?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I'll have everything in the show notes, obviously,
but yeah, well, I think it wouldbe great if they could just
reach out to me.
I have my Facebook site.
It connects to my website, soreally finding me on Facebook
right now is probably theeasiest way, and I have
information on there.
And then there's a way tosubmit and book an appointment
(29:42):
with me.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Oh, good, easy.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
I really want to find the fine.
I'm looking for the right rightfit of women right.
Yeah, and so if somebody, Italk with somebody and it's not
that they're a fit for this,then I'm absolutely going to
talk with them about what wouldbe a fit.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Okay, good, I was wondering about that.
So if they reach out to you, doyou do like a free 15 minute
consultation or something likethat?
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So once they have, you know,kind of a brief video that talks
about the program and whatthey'll learn, and then from
there they can book a 45 minutecall with me For free.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah Saying girl, I'll be calling you every week
for 45 minutes, but you know,this isn't just for people that
are local.
I mean, people can dial in,they can do the module, they can
also meet with you on Zoom,right.
Speaker 1 (30:41):
Absolutely yeah, yeah , yeah.
No, this is not really thereason.
I, you know, I still will havemy therapy practice and I, you
know, I specialize in EMDR and Ido intensives and not really I
do intensives and that's myactual in office therapy clients
.
But for everyone else, this isa present, forward future and
(31:04):
more of a coaching approach.
I would call it a coachingprogram because I'm not going to
do a deep dive into what didyou experience at five years old
that led you to this person?
Speaker 2 (31:14):
Right, yeah, I would like you to do.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
I mean, there's some opportunity for you to do a
little reflection, but that'snot my goal.
And guiding you, my goal istaking you from where you are
and where you want to be.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Yeah, so do they like journal and stuff?
Is there like questions andthey listen and question.
You kind of have your time andyeah.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
I have assessment tools in there, I have
journaling questions, I havemeditations, I have I call it
music therapy.
It's really just my funplaylist that talk about, I
don't know, female power and Idon't even start talking to me
about sound therapy.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
That's a real deal.
I mean, think about it.
We're vibration, music'svibration.
There's a reason why it makesyou feel good or happy, or mad,
or whatever.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
Right, it's so.
I had a lot of fun creatingthese places.
I bet I want to copy of that myex playlist and then you know
what, if I love again playlistand is it that?
One Almost very underwear.
It would like smashing out thecar.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
So we have all that.
Then I have lots of workbookpages, the video lesson modules.
It's really just it's.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
I can't even show you , I mean it's, it's packed.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
It's a thick load of material to go through.
There's a lot there, that'sawesome.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I'm so happy for you.
I'm so glad you got that thingdone, man.
Speaker 1 (32:42):
I am too.
It wasn't the actual programitself that I have.
Honestly, it was the videos.
I had to learn to be okay withbeing on video Girl.
It's really hard for me.
I challenge myself.
Speaker 2 (32:56):
I challenge everyone to go through that to listen to
their voice for real like reallynot just on an answering call,
like for a long time.
Know yourself, get to knowyourself.
It will help you in your lifebeyond and you'll love yourself
more.
Even all your dumb, quirkythings that you do, it will
(33:17):
Right, right.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
So, yeah, I'm really thrilled about it and I feel
like I've gotten to support mychildren in how to handle this
relationship in their life andI've seen all the work that
they've done and I reflect backon okay, what did I do that was
helpful and what did I do thatwas not helpful for them?
Yeah, I really just want to.
(33:40):
I want to help others, not haveto figure all that out on their
own.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Yeah, Thank you.
Thank you for doing that, sucha great help for people.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
It's a great time for me, thank you so much I love
you.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
I'll keep you in the loop with what's going on and
all of our recordings andeverything here.
I'll stop it.
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