October 20, 2023 • 38 mins
Have you ever missed a deadly accident because something was holding you back? How about thinking about someone you barely know or never see and - randomly, for no reason - they call or you see them in person the next day? What about encountering repeated numbers throughout the day? In our riveting discussion, we explore these seemingly random events and their profound implications on our life. We go beyond the surface and dive into the depths of our inner selves, deciphering the constant tug of war between our spirit and ego. Filled with relatable anecdotes, this conversation will inspire you to recognize the presence of the spirit in your life, even in the smallest of things.
We then transition to a deeper contemplation on our life's purpose: building God's house. The journey uncovers how we can discern if our motivations emanate from our spirit or our ego. We help you navigate the complexities of utilizing your gifts for a noble cause, highlighting the responsibility we bear towards ourselves, our families, and our communities. Amidst our exploration, we reflect on how recognizing our life's purpose can liberate us from the shackles of competition and the incessant need to be the best.
Join me, Keri, Carla and Jordan in our discussion and in our experiment! We are going to identify our "Barking Dog Ego" and put a picture, name, full description, etc. to it. We will take notes during our daily journaling time and just merely observe this part of us that rarely gets explored. Often the 'barking dog' within us, can limit our progress and stunt our spiritual growth. We discuss practical tips such as journaling to become more aware of our feelings, thoughts, and reactions, thereby helping us identify when our ego is leading the way. We also explore how to make more conscious choices, bring subconscious thoughts to the surface, and make the right decisions for our lives. So buckle up for this enlightening spiritual journey, and let's embark on this path of self-discovery together!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Am I listening to my spirit or am I listening to my
ego?
What is really happening here?
I'm trying to get more clarityof what does that really look
like?
How?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
can.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I be more discerning in that voice.
What can I do to help me getpast some of the things that are
holding me back?
That I don't even know that areholding me back maybe.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Right and how to discern when to when to have
trust and when to take actionand when to like, when the voice
is in your head or just yourego, negative chatter versus the
spirit convicting you andsaying like this is change needs
to happen.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Or instead of like just the self criticism versus
conviction, or the fear anddoubt versus Well, it was
perfect what you just said, andyou were like, yeah, somebody
just texted me today that Ithought about, like how many
times does that happen?
I'm sure people are like whoaand then don't give it a second
thought.
I want people to give it asecond thought.
(01:02):
I want people to give it asecond thought at.
I know that you are at a lightone day and that light turned
green and there was a reason whyyou did not go Right.
And the two seconds later, ifyou would have gone, you'd be
smashed over by a Mack truck.
You know how many times that'shappened to me.
Like I Sophia was with me once.
It was like I'm not supposed togo.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
And.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I am in a hurry all the time.
Trust me, my foot is like,ready to press on that gas.
I got to go where I got to goand I felt like, no and I didn't
.
And then it was like, and soand I liked each other and she's
just like, oh my God, I said wewould be dead right now.
Right now, I believe everybodyhas gone through those times,
haven't you Absolutely.
(01:48):
So why do we ignore that as notyou or me or whoever?
but just we kind of put that inits own category of well, that's
just what that is.
It has nothing to do with everysingle thing else and what
you're, why you're even here,right your whole existence.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, so actually today the person that texted was
you, but I had literally justbeen meditating.
So we had kind of had ourprevious conversations last week
and kind of left some things onthe table and just and I was
meditating and praying at thesame time and, just like my,
(02:30):
what I kept saying in my mindwas just just align my heart and
vision with Carrie, with myhusband, with like these key
people that are in my life andthat we're doing life together
and doing work together and doyou know, whatever.
And I was just mentally on thatand focusing on that and then I
had, I mean seconds, I had comeout of meditation and I went and
(02:53):
picked up my phone and you textand you were like hey, can you
record?
I'm like yes, okay, and this,this subject you know, in that
wild that's so cool and I waslike we were.
We were aligning.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
We were.
You know, I love that, I lovethat.
You just told me that that's socool.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
But it happens a lot.
I have it happen a lot with,even with numbers and and these
signs that the spirit gives me.
Not always a problem is, youknow, averted like, or things
are hard maybe still, butknowing that the spirit is there
, very, and it's, there's anumber and it happens.
(03:33):
I can't even tell you.
There the other day it happened, I was walking in a parking lot
and was needing that comfort.
I looked down and on the curbwas that number and it was where
they have a farmer's market andso they number where each booth
goes.
Yeah, and that was my.
I mean, it was just random, youknow that.
(03:54):
I would even be looking down atthe ground, but it but I knew in
that moment when I saw thatnumber, that wasn't random,
because of what was on my mindand Did you know that numbers
are a big deal to me.
I didn't know that to you, butyou didn't know that girl no.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Oh, my whole family like yeah he woke me up one
summer, the Lord, every morningat three, three, three or four,
four, four and I would writemessages for people.
And yesterday, I was laughingwith one of the kids because
they were like I've seen two,two, two every day for blah,
blah, blah.
And I was like today I haveseen five, five, five all over
(04:33):
the place.
They're like I see more once ortwice if you're not up in the
morning, and I'm like I kid younot.
I looked down at my watch.
That was how far I'd gone on mybike, and then it was my
calories, and then it was likethis and this and this.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
It was multiple places yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
The whole day was that way and I feel like it's
encouragement and always get adifferent feeling, too Like
there's a message coming in, orI just feel encouragement, or I
feel like we're behind you today, isn't is that strange?
Do you feel it?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
No, I don't feel that strange at all.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Do you feel different feelings or?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
do you see?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
the same numbers.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I see the same number often, like very often.
For me it's always a comfortand a peace, because it's just,
it's the Holy Spirit saying I'mthere, I'm there, yeah.
Like I'm and it's not always ina hard moment, it's just
sometimes it's in good momentsor but it's just like this
constant reminder I'm with you,yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And it's.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It started in a hard time and that's how I knew, I
knew, but it like the number isjust really prevalent in my life
in general.
And then the other day Ifigured out that it's also how
old my mom was when she had me,which I had never, no, realized
that until a few days ago and Iwas like you've got to be
kidding me, Like another waythat that number is in my life,
(06:01):
like it's just I love that, lovethat, yeah, but anyway, See how
it just brings you joy.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah, it brings you joy in that way.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
So then you are no longer foreigners and strangers,
but fellow citizens with thesaints and members of God's
household, built on thefoundation of apostles and
prophets, with Christ Jesushimself as the cornerstone.
In him, the whole buildingbeing put together grows into a
holy temple in the Lord.
In him, you are also beingbuilt together for God's
(06:34):
dwelling in the spirit.
I started drawing out this likeI was trying to get a visual of
this and I just kind of drew outlike a little house and this
foundation of the apostles andthese people, that the
foundation of God's Holy Temple,the church and in his house,
and Jesus as the cornerstone,and then it's like saying like
(06:58):
through him we are these livingstones still building this
spiritual house, and likeco-laboring.
So it actually ties into whatyou're talking about, even with
ego, because I started thinkingabout, first of all, just the
fact that I get to be part ofwhat God's building and what
he's doing, and I only get to bepart of that because of Jesus
(07:21):
right Like because of him beingthat cornerstone and him being
that access point and so, andthen it talked them in there,
like about our sacrifices.
You know, like what can, whatsacrifice can my life be to this
building of this Holy Place andthis house that God is building
?
And then I kind of just startedthinking and breaking down of
(07:42):
like our responsibility to buildourself.
Okay, so like to build ourselfas a healthy human being, that's
, you know, physically, mentally, spiritually, and the
responsibility I have in thatyou know, and then our families
are the people that are closestto us, whatever that looks like,
if it's family or friendshipsor whatever, and putting that
(08:04):
into that, and then community,extended family, just, you know,
anyone in our sphere.
And then, in light of a lot ofwhat we've talked about and
talking about like building ourbusiness, our gifts, our talents
, our resources, like what- arewe using our life for you know
whether it's for making money orfor charity, whatever it is,
but what we put out in the worldand what we do.
(08:27):
And so two things one, doingthose things in light of
building this bigger picture,and building.
God's house, not not in lightof how much money do I want to
make?
I love my kids and family somuch and they're they're like
mine, you know, and I justthey're just mine to enjoy more.
(08:47):
So it's all just stuff that weget to be, you know, even our
body.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
You just get to witness it, you get to have that
baby.
You get to raise my child thatI and I have a huge
responsibility that they knowtheir part in the bigger picture
and building building God'shouse.
That's really where it is, youknow, right there.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
So what, what that did for me and my ego, and
looking at it that way and noneof this is like completely new
knowledge to me.
But breaking it down a littlebit deeper, I was like, ok, well
, suddenly my ego doesn't feelit needs to be a part, because
because if I'm feelingcompetitive with with another
sister, I'm why, like we're bothtrying to co labor and build
(09:33):
this.
It's not about what is evencreated on this earth, or if
you're the prettiest one, if youhave the best family, if you
have the best kids, if you madethe most money, if you all those
things are gifts and benefitsand bonuses.
But your ego, if you know whyyou're working and who you're
working for and what you'redoing, and that there's purpose
(09:55):
in it beyond intention, thenthen my ego doesn't have to be
so wounded if somebody slided me, or doesn't have to be so
competitive if I feel like, well, I want to, I want to get what
they got, or I want to have thatkind of success too, or you
know, yeah, or even thinking,well, I thought that was
(10:16):
supposed to be like kind of myplace or my role, but they got
that place in that role Right.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So instead of that's where I need you to serve.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I don't know it.
Just, I think we both alwayswant we're really conscious of
knowing that that we want to behealthy individuals, that we
want to have great families,that we want to impact the world
around us, and then and then wehave this career piece that
we're always kind of like, wantto make sure we're doing the
right thing and, you know,making a difference and be a
(10:48):
contributor.
Yeah, and like it is the workwe do, does it matter?
Like, is it doing anything?
Like what?
What is it?
And then, also, in that,deciding how do I show up, like
what is most important to do andto put my time and effort to,
and who, who to align with andwho to Right?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And that's why I'm drawn to this.
Yeah, because I like you said,I already know what these words
mean.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
But, you know, have this other side, this yucky side
, and we heard what the ego isand but what really is it?
How do I identify that ego andmyself, since we're all
different, right, and we allhave different?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
spirits.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So I was just talking to Carrie and, from what I've
learned, there's certain ways toidentify.
So if we just sit back rightnow and just kind of go within
ourselves, you can explore howyour thoughts, maybe you're
subconscious, or maybe how youreact to things.
Is your response coming fromthe ego or is it coming from
(11:58):
spirit?
And I really wanted to take astep back and evaluate myself.
I can evaluate everybody elsearound me, but to really know
ourselves.
So what does that look like?
And some of the things that theego can produce which support?
Because we need that to take ashower every day and get dressed
(12:20):
and we like what we like.
But we don't want the ego to bethe leader, we want the spirit
to be a leader.
And so how do we do that?
And I think that it's reallyidentifying it and identifying
the ego and asking yourselfquestions like am I insecure?
What am I insecure about?
(12:40):
They are self centered, theyare competitive.
The ego, a person that onlyrelies on the fifth sense, it
sensory, doesn't rely on theirspirit or maybe doesn't even
know what it is.
And even though I know what itis, I'm still learning, I'm
trying to figure out who I am,how I'm reacting in certain
(13:03):
every situation when I firstlook at somebody and I
immediately judging them.
Or do I quickly notice howbeautiful they are or quickly
notice how great they are?
So there's two differentreactions real quick on how you
react to a relationship in aconversation or somebody that
you don't know on the street,and so it's also feels never
(13:26):
good enough.
The ego can be me versus you,it can be defensive and it could
be one or all of these thingsagain.
We're so different, right.
It can be an overgiver and overhold.
It's not the leader it tries tobe and it jockeys, you know,
for position.
All those things I have doneand felt them throughout my life
(13:49):
and I feel like there's thesegray areas back and forth, you
know.
Am I pressing in more to thespirit today or am I pressing in
more my ego?
Am I not feeling well?
Am I sick?
Is it a life event, acircumstance?
You know there's all thesethings, but in general, when
we're on our path, are we goingthe right way?
(14:11):
Are we listening to the rightperson?
Identified?
What is ego?
So?
What is spirit?
Spirit is that part inside ofyou that lives and it is full of
love and security.
And they are tuned to theirbody.
They listen for signals, theyExpect positive results, they
(14:37):
feel secure.
If something does happen, theywill receive divine guidance.
I don't know how would youexplain that?
How would you explain spirit?
Some people call it intuition,some people call it gut feeling.
Some people call it spirit.
Some people say, well, I'm agood person.
I mean, what have you heardother ways that people your
(15:00):
spirit.
And I'm not talking about God,your creator, holy spirit, I'm
talking right your Higher self.
That's another word.
Some people use higher self.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah, yeah, you know I mean, because a lot of times
I'll I'll say, yeah, my gut isjust tell me this is not right.
Or you know that's where, kindof where I go with it.
I don't know if I use intuitionas much now, because I think
it's, sometimes it takes youmore over to the Wu-Wu side.
(15:34):
Or you know, there's so manyterms now that are kind of used,
just like universe and Rightthat are you that are used in so
many different ways, and so Ithink and let's talk about that
for a second.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah why do we get hung up on these words?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
You think, I don't know, because we never did, but
is it now, because I thinkthere's so many now that are
putting it out there that theuniverse is showing me this
today, or the universe?
I don't know.
And I think for me, when I hearpeople talk about the universe
(16:12):
and what, what, what theythey've heard the universe tell
them, or whatever, for me it'smore like well, no, that's, I
mean, that's my, that's a holyspirit, that's God when he's
talking to me, I don't.
I don't take it in a negativeway, but I take it that they
don't have, they don't believein God, jesus, holy spirit.
(16:35):
And I only say that from someof the people that I do Know
personally they use it that way,that is their lingo, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, yeah, we're all so different and I just want to
be really clear that I'm nottrying to change anybody's
beliefs.
Yeah, and doing this, I amputting myself out there and
Telling people how I was raised,what I believe, what I went
through and what works for me,because I don't want to judge
(17:08):
anyone.
I know that God created themand created me and that I was
born in a family that had suchstrong faith and taught me the
Bible and taught me thoselessons.
There are people out there thatnever and they were hurt bad
and maybe in a church.
(17:29):
I'm not going to tell you thatyou're wrong.
I'm going to just tell you thatthere's healing for you.
My God is a good God and he's ahealer and a lover and a
provider.
That's my Creator, the God ofAbraham, the God of Noah, the
God of Moses.
Isaiah Jesus is the Son of God.
(17:52):
That's what I believe, but Idon't judge anybody because I
feel like God is just telling methat everybody has a spirit and
a walk.
What he wants me to do is justto help them get closer and
finding out when they're thereand they're still or they're
studying or they're thinking, orthey're driving or whatever and
(18:15):
if there's a seed there and Godcan come in or someone else
water it.
That's what I want to be a partof.
I told you listening andreading all these books, think
about all the differentperspectives.
I don't want to be one of thosepeople that say you're doing it
(18:35):
wrong and this is what you needto do to do it right, because
I'm still trying to figure outwhat's right.
I was just telling someone lastnight who's not a believer or
still trying to figure thingsout.
I told them all of this exactsame thing, but I did say but
the closer that I am to my Godand the more that I walk and
(18:57):
listen to my spirit and press in, the more fulfillment, the more
joy and the more peace and themore alive that I see God in my
life.
It's amazing.
So, it's through experience thatmy faith increases and that I
can stand stronger by the thingsthat have happened to me, and I
(19:19):
just wish that people wouldstop arguing about it and stop
worrying about it.
Maybe they don't like that word, but you don't have to use it
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, so I know it's sadly the same way.
Yeah, I mean sadly, I thinkeverybody right, especially now,
hyper focused on everything,every word, every belief, where
everybody stands, and a lot ofjudgment and just in so many
(19:54):
different areas.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I mean, I believe it's gosh.
It's such a rabbit hole,there's so many things.
But I believe that everyone isjust so seeking knowing there's
more.
There's more out there, there'smore within themselves.
I don't know what it is and howto find it and get to the
(20:24):
spirit, do you think?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
that if people are so like that and that way of
worrying about being right theywant to be right because they
don't want to get it wrong I'mso worried that they are going
to get it wrong and be in hell.
And I've seen a lot ofChristians who beat themselves
(20:47):
up and constantly are like oh, Idid this wrong.
Oh, I did that wrong, I've gotto do this.
Oh my gosh, I'm going to getpunished.
Constantly worrying about thatand that's no way to live.
That's not freedom, that's notthe God I signed up for.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
I agree, yeah.
And usually all of those thingsare coming just from our ego
and ourselves and justifying allof it Totally and I love how
that you'll make people thinkbetween ego and spirit and I
think it's guiding and helpingalong.
(21:28):
What does that mean in any way?
Not whether you're a believerin Jesus, you're not, you're
whatever it is, but whereeverybody can seek and find and
identify what is their spiritbetween ego and spirit and
what's your hangups.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
So here's your homework.
You have homework, carrie hasone more.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Do I need to write this down?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
No, this is so easy and so fun.
So now that we have discussedego and spirit and what that is
right and you can kind of sitback and notice, okay, I can
kind of picture what my ego isand I can kind of picture what
the feeling of that spirit is.
So you're going to identifyyour barking dog and your
(22:16):
barking dog is your ego and youare going to put a breed to it
and a name accent attitude.
Whatever I have a picture ofmine, you're the first to see it
.
I created it today.
Her name is Tina.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Hi Tina.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
And she looks really good because she's usually
really ragged out what she knew,because it's her ego.
She knew that she was going tobe on today, so she cleaned up a
little bit.
But so what I did was I tookthis analogy of this barking dog
and you know I like to play soI came up with a picture.
(22:55):
Her name's Tina.
She talks like a you know aroot, she cusses a lot and she's
got a pretty bad accent.
I'm not going to say what,because it just is bad.
It's a bad accent.
So this week I would like foryou to identify your barking dog
and I want you to come up witha picture.
(23:17):
I created this, like I can evendo yours for you.
It was like some app.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
AI, I know, I know.
I'm like how'd you create thatthing?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I typed in exactly what I wanted and it created the
picture for me.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
And so.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Carrie was like.
I can already see mine.
It's a Chihuahua and it's yappy.
Oh my gosh, I can't even Like.
She identified it right away,and so I said, well, think about
it, get the picture ready, andthen, in your journaling time, I
want you to write down and I'lltext you this want you to write
down what you hear from thatbarking dog during the week that
(23:53):
you notice, because weobviously don't notice
everything.
Some things are so implanted andgrained in our subconscious, in
our brain, that we just do itover and over again and we need
a good bish lapping and to wakeup to see what's wrong, right?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, so write down all those things.
You know, I wrote down all thethings that Tina says, and Tina
says a lot of the same thingsover and over to me again and
they may not be the same for you, yours could be totally
different, but I really exploredthat.
What is she saying to me?
What am I hearing?
And it really helped meidentify the lies.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, so is it more like what is Tina saying to you
about you?
You gave the example of whenyou come up to someone, meet
someone.
Is your first thought judgment,or is it oh, wow, she's so
gorgeous and Amazing.
And is it things that she'ssaying about me or that, like
(24:56):
I'm maybe Putting like these aremy?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
weaknesses.
What I did was I kind of justbroke it down and put my
Insecurities and weaknesses whenI was writing.
Okay, my ego, what is that?
You know, it could be myinsecurities and my weaknesses.
So, for example, adam comes inhere yesterday and he lays down
(25:20):
this hard news that we learnedabout a friend and I was in
shock, right, because that wasmy first initial reaction and I
noticed between us it was almostlike a light bulb.
We've been together for so long, like 30 years really, yeah and
there's patterns that I justreact, he reacts and we just
(25:41):
have accepted it and it's justis, and it irritates me when he
does that and whatever, and Iroll it off, you know.
But then when I started reallythinking about it, from a
barking dog and noticing andthen just going a little deeper
with that trail Where's thatcoming from?
And him and I's discussions, Imean it's just, it's been great.
(26:03):
Yeah, I'm the minor things tothe bigger things.
For instance some people wouldsay I'm on YouTube because of my
ego, or Then I'm on podcast, orthat I'm putting myself out
there on Facebook because of myego.
I understand that you wantlikes yourself, seeking all the
(26:23):
things, but what's really funnyis Because of my ego.
I didn't do this.
For 20 years.
I have been feeling calledAdams, been telling me to blog
for 30 years.
He got me a website Literally30 years ago and was like I
don't even know how to do any ofthis.
What's an email, like all thesethings?
(26:44):
No, no, no.
And and I always made excuses.
And then I felt the Lord reallypushing me Just to come out and
be myself and share some ofthese things that happen if it's
gonna help anybody.
And I didn't because of my ego,because I didn't want you to
see me, I don't want you to knowme, I don't want you to see my
(27:05):
face, I don't want you see mykids face, because I don't want
you to judge me, because I caredmore About what you thought
then doing God's work and whatspirit was telling me to do.
And I felt tortured for twoyears, tortured and, until I
stepped out, was shaky hands,and I mean I remember one of the
(27:25):
times, very first time comingout on a podcast and doing a
recording, my whole body wasliterally shaking and I was like
I can't talk, you know yeahit's, I mean we're all different
and we all have these thingsand I just I'm seeking freedom
For everyone out there that'slooking to know themselves and
(27:45):
be better.
I'm not telling you To believein something that I believe.
I just want you to believe inyourself and believe yeah.
That you can have a life offreedom if you follow your
spirit and not your ego, and soI love that.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I mean you and I, that's where we're so much on
the same page in that whole area.
Because I had your age is notyour cage.
I've had all this for severalyears and same thing just kept.
That could not put myself outthere and I still remember doing
that podcast and recording thetrailer and doing, I think,
literally just sweating, justSweating and Re-reporting and
(28:27):
and finally just being like, ohmy gosh, just hit the button and
go and get, get over it.
You know, and it was the samewhen I just decided to do it
right, I'm like God has beencalling you to this for so long.
But yeah, you, just you keepputting them, putting it back
(28:47):
here and no right.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yeah, so there's your homework.
Homework is to find your puppydog.
And we don't hate our ego.
It's part of us and it's therefor a purpose.
We just need our spirit to lead.
And so you're gonna journal,write down what you feel, that
(29:11):
Now you're starting to identifythe words, the feelings, the
thoughts during the week, anytime in your life, and it's just
about being aware, trying to beaware, not jot down every
little thing or oh, this andthis and this happen.
It's more just like, okay,being aware, and then in my
quiet time, I'm gonna write downwhat did I notice?
What did I notice?
That kind of thing, yeah, andthen we'll revisit for like 30
(29:34):
minutes and then we'll go on tothe next thing.
And I want to do three weeks,if you're cool with it.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I mean I feel like it's used in almost a bad way.
Now I hear it more in like oh,that person has an ego.
I think it's like inflation,like inflation of your persona
almost is kind of what isdescribed now, and I don't think
it has to be that.
I think it can just be your itcan be another word for like
personality but I think what wehear it in modern terms is like
(30:04):
that person has an ego, is likea bad, a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yeah, like it's a negative connotation.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Yeah like a negative, like that person thinks they're
better than everyone else, typeRight, dude, right.
But I don't think itnecessarily has to mean that.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, so I wrote down some ofthe things that are associated
with the ego.
Now, like what you said, we doneed an ego.
It's there to support us, youknow.
It helps us in times when we'rein trouble, it helps us get out
of bad situations, it helps youget up and take a shower and
(30:40):
get dressed and care aboutyourself.
It's just walking that fineline, right, mm-hmm.
So the first question that askedme and I was kind of blown away
and it really made me think wasAre you endlessly trying to
figure things out?
Yeah, yeah, um, the ego islimited.
It is a support and a service.
(31:01):
It's never good enough.
It's me versus you, defensive,an overgiver, or it can be like
an over hold, just dingy, notthe leader.
It tries to be a jockeys forposition, and this my whole
purpose in wanting to do this isto help train my inner ego to
(31:25):
follow and support my spirit Letmy spirit be the lead in my
decisions, my reactions andwanted to see how it went.
So I started experimenting withit and I started following
these steps, but I startedwriting my own steps within
those steps.
So here's the experiment.
(31:45):
So, now that I've explained whatego is, what is spirit so it's
six cents, like we said are veryattuned to their body.
They listen to the signalswithin their body, around their
body.
They expect positive results.
They feel secure and they knowthat, even when the times are
(32:07):
tough, that they will receivedivine guidance to overcome it
and that God will show up.
They are co-creators.
They want to work with people,they want to create with people.
They don't want to hide and bealone and separate themselves.
They contribute to the world'sbetterment and they recognize
(32:28):
spirit and others.
They have a peace about themand that peace and that flow
comes from not listening to yourego.
That's leading you right.
It's supposed to give you more.
It's supposed to give you moreof a peaceful experience.
So I decided to give it a tryand see what I found, and the
(32:51):
first part that I did wasidentifying your ego.
So the best way to identifyyour ego is put a label on it
called your barking dog.
So you have homework and yourhomework is just go within
yourself this week and noticeyour barking dog.
We all have a barking dog.
(33:13):
This barking dog.
You're just being aware to whatyou're hearing, what you're
noticing what you're saying,what your thoughts are.
It doesn't have to be everysecond.
Just go live your life, Thinkabout the barking dog and if it
comes up, notice it, notice whatit's saying to you, telling you
(33:33):
what to do, whatever.
So you're going to name yourbarking dog, you're going to
give it a breed and you're goingto give it a name and you're
going to describe that barkingdog to a T.
And if you want to name yourspirit, you can.
And what is spirit?
Right, we went over what spiritis.
(33:55):
But if you need a visual anddon't go so crazy on it, it's
just an exercise, right, justthink about it.
When I think of my spirit, Iknow that I'm speaking with the
Holy Spirit and I believe in Godand my Creator, but my spirit
is receiving it, right?
So some people would say it'syour higher self, your true self
(34:17):
.
It's Carrie, it's the true me,right?
Or you can put a name on it,right?
Whatever you want to do, butidentifying that barking dog was
crucial for me because I'm sovisual in that way in my mind's
eye that it can give me clarity.
(34:37):
You know I journal every day andmeditate, and so while I'm
journaling I asked myself whatis Tina telling you?
Like, what do you hear fromTina?
So I described her.
So now I know what she soundslike and I know what she says,
and I started jotting down someof the things that she said, so
in my journal, like I had ithere.
(34:58):
And then I was like weaknessesand insecurities, and then I
would list that like okay, whatis Tina's insecurities, what is
Tina's weaknesses?
And it's some of the samesentences over and over and over
again, and it's so much in mywhole life that it's just part
of your subconscious that youdon't even know You're hearing
(35:19):
it right.
So it's enabling me to identifythat voice.
That's what I want you to do iswrite your findings this week.
I want you to show me yourbarking dog and the name and
description, and then I'm goingto tell me what you experienced.
For example, a couple of lightbulbs came on.
(35:42):
I noticed that when I go to thegym and I'm teaching, it depends
on the mood that I'm in, rightthat gray area.
Most of the time I will see thegood in people immediately Like
, oh, they have this or oh, Ihave that.
Well, just being real in a badmood, had a shitty day, whatever
(36:05):
, maybe I'm not picking thatthing out, maybe I'm being not
so nice, right, and then mehaving that thought makes me not
feel good, makes me not likemyself.
That sets me up for my rest ofmy day.
So I'm trying to be morediligent, intentional, about
(36:26):
those things, because in thoselittle things we have big
decisions in our lives.
If I can't get those littlethings figured out, how am I
ever going to make a gooddecision on a big decision?
Really and that's where I'mpulled is to make the right
decisions I've got to go with myspirit to have more peace in
(36:47):
all my path.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (36:49):
Being more mindful of what you're doing rather than
just.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah, yeah, maybe bring up those subconscious
things that you don't even know.
Bubble up to the surface, beaware of it, notice it, see if
it helps you in your life.
So are you in?
Are you with me on thisexperiment?
Yeah, yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
Cool.
Am I listening to my spirit or am I listening to my
ego?
What is really happening here?
I'm trying to get more clarityof what does that really look
like?
How?
Speaker 3 (00:11):
can.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
I be more discerning in that voice.
What can I do to help me getpast some of the things that are
holding me back?
That I don't even know that areholding me back maybe.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
Right and how to discern when to when to have
trust and when to take actionand when to like, when the voice
is in your head or just yourego, negative chatter versus the
spirit convicting you andsaying like this is change needs
to happen.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Or instead of like just the self criticism versus
conviction, or the fear anddoubt versus Well, it was
perfect what you just said, andyou were like, yeah, somebody
just texted me today that Ithought about, like how many
times does that happen?
I'm sure people are like whoaand then don't give it a second
thought.
I want people to give it asecond thought.
(01:02):
I want people to give it asecond thought at.
I know that you are at a lightone day and that light turned
green and there was a reason whyyou did not go Right.
And the two seconds later, ifyou would have gone, you'd be
smashed over by a Mack truck.
You know how many times that'shappened to me.
Like I Sophia was with me once.
It was like I'm not supposed togo.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
And.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
I am in a hurry all the time.
Trust me, my foot is like,ready to press on that gas.
I got to go where I got to goand I felt like, no and I didn't
.
And then it was like, and soand I liked each other and she's
just like, oh my God, I said wewould be dead right now.
Right now, I believe everybodyhas gone through those times,
haven't you Absolutely.
(01:48):
So why do we ignore that as notyou or me or whoever?
but just we kind of put that inits own category of well, that's
just what that is.
It has nothing to do with everysingle thing else and what
you're, why you're even here,right your whole existence.
Speaker 3 (02:10):
Yeah, so actually today the person that texted was
you, but I had literally justbeen meditating.
So we had kind of had ourprevious conversations last week
and kind of left some things onthe table and just and I was
meditating and praying at thesame time and, just like my,
(02:30):
what I kept saying in my mindwas just just align my heart and
vision with Carrie, with myhusband, with like these key
people that are in my life andthat we're doing life together
and doing work together and doyou know, whatever.
And I was just mentally on thatand focusing on that and then I
had, I mean seconds, I had comeout of meditation and I went and
(02:53):
picked up my phone and you textand you were like hey, can you
record?
I'm like yes, okay, and this,this subject you know, in that
wild that's so cool and I waslike we were.
We were aligning.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
We were.
You know, I love that, I lovethat.
You just told me that that's socool.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
But it happens a lot.
I have it happen a lot with,even with numbers and and these
signs that the spirit gives me.
Not always a problem is, youknow, averted like, or things
are hard maybe still, butknowing that the spirit is there
, very, and it's, there's anumber and it happens.
(03:33):
I can't even tell you.
There the other day it happened, I was walking in a parking lot
and was needing that comfort.
I looked down and on the curbwas that number and it was where
they have a farmer's market andso they number where each booth
goes.
Yeah, and that was my.
I mean, it was just random, youknow that.
(03:54):
I would even be looking down atthe ground, but it but I knew in
that moment when I saw thatnumber, that wasn't random,
because of what was on my mindand Did you know that numbers
are a big deal to me.
I didn't know that to you, butyou didn't know that girl no.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Oh, my whole family like yeah he woke me up one
summer, the Lord, every morningat three, three, three or four,
four, four and I would writemessages for people.
And yesterday, I was laughingwith one of the kids because
they were like I've seen two,two, two every day for blah,
blah, blah.
And I was like today I haveseen five, five, five all over
(04:33):
the place.
They're like I see more once ortwice if you're not up in the
morning, and I'm like I kid younot.
I looked down at my watch.
That was how far I'd gone on mybike, and then it was my
calories, and then it was likethis and this and this.
Speaker 3 (04:48):
It was multiple places yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
The whole day was that way and I feel like it's
encouragement and always get adifferent feeling, too Like
there's a message coming in, orI just feel encouragement, or I
feel like we're behind you today, isn't is that strange?
Do you feel it?
Speaker 3 (05:08):
No, I don't feel that strange at all.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Do you feel different feelings or?
Speaker 3 (05:13):
do you see?
Speaker 1 (05:14):
the same numbers.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
I see the same number often, like very often.
For me it's always a comfortand a peace, because it's just,
it's the Holy Spirit saying I'mthere, I'm there, yeah.
Like I'm and it's not always ina hard moment, it's just
sometimes it's in good momentsor but it's just like this
constant reminder I'm with you,yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
And it's.
Speaker 3 (05:37):
It started in a hard time and that's how I knew, I
knew, but it like the number isjust really prevalent in my life
in general.
And then the other day Ifigured out that it's also how
old my mom was when she had me,which I had never, no, realized
that until a few days ago and Iwas like you've got to be
kidding me, Like another waythat that number is in my life,
(06:01):
like it's just I love that, lovethat, yeah, but anyway, See how
it just brings you joy.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah, it brings you joy in that way.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
So then you are no longer foreigners and strangers,
but fellow citizens with thesaints and members of God's
household, built on thefoundation of apostles and
prophets, with Christ Jesushimself as the cornerstone.
In him, the whole buildingbeing put together grows into a
holy temple in the Lord.
In him, you are also beingbuilt together for God's
(06:34):
dwelling in the spirit.
I started drawing out this likeI was trying to get a visual of
this and I just kind of drew outlike a little house and this
foundation of the apostles andthese people, that the
foundation of God's Holy Temple,the church and in his house,
and Jesus as the cornerstone,and then it's like saying like
(06:58):
through him we are these livingstones still building this
spiritual house, and likeco-laboring.
So it actually ties into whatyou're talking about, even with
ego, because I started thinkingabout, first of all, just the
fact that I get to be part ofwhat God's building and what
he's doing, and I only get to bepart of that because of Jesus
(07:21):
right Like because of him beingthat cornerstone and him being
that access point and so, andthen it talked them in there,
like about our sacrifices.
You know, like what can, whatsacrifice can my life be to this
building of this Holy Place andthis house that God is building
?
And then I kind of just startedthinking and breaking down of
(07:42):
like our responsibility to buildourself.
Okay, so like to build ourselfas a healthy human being, that's
, you know, physically, mentally, spiritually, and the
responsibility I have in thatyou know, and then our families
are the people that are closestto us, whatever that looks like,
if it's family or friendshipsor whatever, and putting that
(08:04):
into that, and then community,extended family, just, you know,
anyone in our sphere.
And then, in light of a lot ofwhat we've talked about and
talking about like building ourbusiness, our gifts, our talents
, our resources, like what- arewe using our life for you know
whether it's for making money orfor charity, whatever it is,
but what we put out in the worldand what we do.
(08:27):
And so two things one, doingthose things in light of
building this bigger picture,and building.
God's house, not not in lightof how much money do I want to
make?
I love my kids and family somuch and they're they're like
mine, you know, and I justthey're just mine to enjoy more.
(08:47):
So it's all just stuff that weget to be, you know, even our
body.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
You just get to witness it, you get to have that
baby.
You get to raise my child thatI and I have a huge
responsibility that they knowtheir part in the bigger picture
and building building God'shouse.
That's really where it is, youknow, right there.
Speaker 3 (09:07):
So what, what that did for me and my ego, and
looking at it that way and noneof this is like completely new
knowledge to me.
But breaking it down a littlebit deeper, I was like, ok, well
, suddenly my ego doesn't feelit needs to be a part, because
because if I'm feelingcompetitive with with another
sister, I'm why, like we're bothtrying to co labor and build
(09:33):
this.
It's not about what is evencreated on this earth, or if
you're the prettiest one, if youhave the best family, if you
have the best kids, if you madethe most money, if you all those
things are gifts and benefitsand bonuses.
But your ego, if you know whyyou're working and who you're
working for and what you'redoing, and that there's purpose
(09:55):
in it beyond intention, thenthen my ego doesn't have to be
so wounded if somebody slided me, or doesn't have to be so
competitive if I feel like, well, I want to, I want to get what
they got, or I want to have thatkind of success too, or you
know, yeah, or even thinking,well, I thought that was
(10:16):
supposed to be like kind of myplace or my role, but they got
that place in that role Right.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
So instead of that's where I need you to serve.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I don't know it.
Just, I think we both alwayswant we're really conscious of
knowing that that we want to behealthy individuals, that we
want to have great families,that we want to impact the world
around us, and then and then wehave this career piece that
we're always kind of like, wantto make sure we're doing the
right thing and, you know,making a difference and be a
(10:48):
contributor.
Yeah, and like it is the workwe do, does it matter?
Like, is it doing anything?
Like what?
What is it?
And then, also, in that,deciding how do I show up, like
what is most important to do andto put my time and effort to,
and who, who to align with andwho to Right?
Speaker 1 (11:09):
And that's why I'm drawn to this.
Yeah, because I like you said,I already know what these words
mean.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
But, you know, have this other side, this yucky side
, and we heard what the ego isand but what really is it?
How do I identify that ego andmyself, since we're all
different, right, and we allhave different?
Speaker 2 (11:32):
spirits.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
So I was just talking to Carrie and, from what I've
learned, there's certain ways toidentify.
So if we just sit back rightnow and just kind of go within
ourselves, you can explore howyour thoughts, maybe you're
subconscious, or maybe how youreact to things.
Is your response coming fromthe ego or is it coming from
(11:58):
spirit?
And I really wanted to take astep back and evaluate myself.
I can evaluate everybody elsearound me, but to really know
ourselves.
So what does that look like?
And some of the things that theego can produce which support?
Because we need that to take ashower every day and get dressed
(12:20):
and we like what we like.
But we don't want the ego to bethe leader, we want the spirit
to be a leader.
And so how do we do that?
And I think that it's reallyidentifying it and identifying
the ego and asking yourselfquestions like am I insecure?
What am I insecure about?
(12:40):
They are self centered, theyare competitive.
The ego, a person that onlyrelies on the fifth sense, it
sensory, doesn't rely on theirspirit or maybe doesn't even
know what it is.
And even though I know what itis, I'm still learning, I'm
trying to figure out who I am,how I'm reacting in certain
(13:03):
every situation when I firstlook at somebody and I
immediately judging them.
Or do I quickly notice howbeautiful they are or quickly
notice how great they are?
So there's two differentreactions real quick on how you
react to a relationship in aconversation or somebody that
you don't know on the street,and so it's also feels never
(13:26):
good enough.
The ego can be me versus you,it can be defensive and it could
be one or all of these thingsagain.
We're so different, right.
It can be an overgiver and overhold.
It's not the leader it tries tobe and it jockeys, you know,
for position.
All those things I have doneand felt them throughout my life
(13:49):
and I feel like there's thesegray areas back and forth, you
know.
Am I pressing in more to thespirit today or am I pressing in
more my ego?
Am I not feeling well?
Am I sick?
Is it a life event, acircumstance?
You know there's all thesethings, but in general, when
we're on our path, are we goingthe right way?
(14:11):
Are we listening to the rightperson?
Identified?
What is ego?
So?
What is spirit?
Spirit is that part inside ofyou that lives and it is full of
love and security.
And they are tuned to theirbody.
They listen for signals, theyExpect positive results, they
(14:37):
feel secure.
If something does happen, theywill receive divine guidance.
I don't know how would youexplain that?
How would you explain spirit?
Some people call it intuition,some people call it gut feeling.
Some people call it spirit.
Some people say, well, I'm agood person.
I mean, what have you heardother ways that people your
(15:00):
spirit.
And I'm not talking about God,your creator, holy spirit, I'm
talking right your Higher self.
That's another word.
Some people use higher self.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
Yeah, yeah, you know I mean, because a lot of times
I'll I'll say, yeah, my gut isjust tell me this is not right.
Or you know that's where, kindof where I go with it.
I don't know if I use intuitionas much now, because I think
it's, sometimes it takes youmore over to the Wu-Wu side.
(15:34):
Or you know, there's so manyterms now that are kind of used,
just like universe and Rightthat are you that are used in so
many different ways, and so Ithink and let's talk about that
for a second.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
Yeah why do we get hung up on these words?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
You think, I don't know, because we never did, but
is it now, because I thinkthere's so many now that are
putting it out there that theuniverse is showing me this
today, or the universe?
I don't know.
And I think for me, when I hearpeople talk about the universe
(16:12):
and what, what, what theythey've heard the universe tell
them, or whatever, for me it'smore like well, no, that's, I
mean, that's my, that's a holyspirit, that's God when he's
talking to me, I don't.
I don't take it in a negativeway, but I take it that they
don't have, they don't believein God, jesus, holy spirit.
(16:35):
And I only say that from someof the people that I do Know
personally they use it that way,that is their lingo, yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, yeah, we're all so different and I just want to
be really clear that I'm nottrying to change anybody's
beliefs.
Yeah, and doing this, I amputting myself out there and
Telling people how I was raised,what I believe, what I went
through and what works for me,because I don't want to judge
(17:08):
anyone.
I know that God created themand created me and that I was
born in a family that had suchstrong faith and taught me the
Bible and taught me thoselessons.
There are people out there thatnever and they were hurt bad
and maybe in a church.
(17:29):
I'm not going to tell you thatyou're wrong.
I'm going to just tell you thatthere's healing for you.
My God is a good God and he's ahealer and a lover and a
provider.
That's my Creator, the God ofAbraham, the God of Noah, the
God of Moses.
Isaiah Jesus is the Son of God.
(17:52):
That's what I believe, but Idon't judge anybody because I
feel like God is just telling methat everybody has a spirit and
a walk.
What he wants me to do is justto help them get closer and
finding out when they're thereand they're still or they're
studying or they're thinking, orthey're driving or whatever and
(18:15):
if there's a seed there and Godcan come in or someone else
water it.
That's what I want to be a partof.
I told you listening andreading all these books, think
about all the differentperspectives.
I don't want to be one of thosepeople that say you're doing it
(18:35):
wrong and this is what you needto do to do it right, because
I'm still trying to figure outwhat's right.
I was just telling someone lastnight who's not a believer or
still trying to figure thingsout.
I told them all of this exactsame thing, but I did say but
the closer that I am to my Godand the more that I walk and
(18:57):
listen to my spirit and press in, the more fulfillment, the more
joy and the more peace and themore alive that I see God in my
life.
It's amazing.
So, it's through experience thatmy faith increases and that I
can stand stronger by the thingsthat have happened to me, and I
(19:19):
just wish that people wouldstop arguing about it and stop
worrying about it.
Maybe they don't like that word, but you don't have to use it
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, so I know it's sadly the same way.
Yeah, I mean sadly, I thinkeverybody right, especially now,
hyper focused on everything,every word, every belief, where
everybody stands, and a lot ofjudgment and just in so many
(19:54):
different areas.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Why is that?
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I mean, I believe it's gosh.
It's such a rabbit hole,there's so many things.
But I believe that everyone isjust so seeking knowing there's
more.
There's more out there, there'smore within themselves.
I don't know what it is and howto find it and get to the
(20:24):
spirit, do you think?
Speaker 1 (20:25):
that if people are so like that and that way of
worrying about being right theywant to be right because they
don't want to get it wrong I'mso worried that they are going
to get it wrong and be in hell.
And I've seen a lot ofChristians who beat themselves
(20:47):
up and constantly are like oh, Idid this wrong.
Oh, I did that wrong, I've gotto do this.
Oh my gosh, I'm going to getpunished.
Constantly worrying about thatand that's no way to live.
That's not freedom, that's notthe God I signed up for.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
I agree, yeah.
And usually all of those thingsare coming just from our ego
and ourselves and justifying allof it Totally and I love how
that you'll make people thinkbetween ego and spirit and I
think it's guiding and helpingalong.
(21:28):
What does that mean in any way?
Not whether you're a believerin Jesus, you're not, you're
whatever it is, but whereeverybody can seek and find and
identify what is their spiritbetween ego and spirit and
what's your hangups.
Speaker 1 (21:48):
So here's your homework.
You have homework, carrie hasone more.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Do I need to write this down?
Speaker 1 (21:52):
No, this is so easy and so fun.
So now that we have discussedego and spirit and what that is
right and you can kind of sitback and notice, okay, I can
kind of picture what my ego isand I can kind of picture what
the feeling of that spirit is.
So you're going to identifyyour barking dog and your
(22:16):
barking dog is your ego and youare going to put a breed to it
and a name accent attitude.
Whatever I have a picture ofmine, you're the first to see it
.
I created it today.
Her name is Tina.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Hi Tina.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
And she looks really good because she's usually
really ragged out what she knew,because it's her ego.
She knew that she was going tobe on today, so she cleaned up a
little bit.
But so what I did was I tookthis analogy of this barking dog
and you know I like to play soI came up with a picture.
(22:55):
Her name's Tina.
She talks like a you know aroot, she cusses a lot and she's
got a pretty bad accent.
I'm not going to say what,because it just is bad.
It's a bad accent.
So this week I would like foryou to identify your barking dog
and I want you to come up witha picture.
(23:17):
I created this, like I can evendo yours for you.
It was like some app.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
AI, I know, I know.
I'm like how'd you create thatthing?
Speaker 1 (23:26):
I typed in exactly what I wanted and it created the
picture for me.
Speaker 2 (23:31):
And so.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
Carrie was like.
I can already see mine.
It's a Chihuahua and it's yappy.
Oh my gosh, I can't even Like.
She identified it right away,and so I said, well, think about
it, get the picture ready, andthen, in your journaling time, I
want you to write down and I'lltext you this want you to write
down what you hear from thatbarking dog during the week that
(23:53):
you notice, because weobviously don't notice
everything.
Some things are so implanted andgrained in our subconscious, in
our brain, that we just do itover and over again and we need
a good bish lapping and to wakeup to see what's wrong, right?
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, so write down all those things.
You know, I wrote down all thethings that Tina says, and Tina
says a lot of the same thingsover and over to me again and
they may not be the same for you, yours could be totally
different, but I really exploredthat.
What is she saying to me?
What am I hearing?
And it really helped meidentify the lies.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah, so is it more like what is Tina saying to you
about you?
You gave the example of whenyou come up to someone, meet
someone.
Is your first thought judgment,or is it oh, wow, she's so
gorgeous and Amazing.
And is it things that she'ssaying about me or that, like
(24:56):
I'm maybe Putting like these aremy?
Speaker 1 (24:59):
weaknesses.
What I did was I kind of justbroke it down and put my
Insecurities and weaknesses whenI was writing.
Okay, my ego, what is that?
You know, it could be myinsecurities and my weaknesses.
So, for example, adam comes inhere yesterday and he lays down
(25:20):
this hard news that we learnedabout a friend and I was in
shock, right, because that wasmy first initial reaction and I
noticed between us it was almostlike a light bulb.
We've been together for so long, like 30 years really, yeah and
there's patterns that I justreact, he reacts and we just
(25:41):
have accepted it and it's justis, and it irritates me when he
does that and whatever, and Iroll it off, you know.
But then when I started reallythinking about it, from a
barking dog and noticing andthen just going a little deeper
with that trail Where's thatcoming from?
And him and I's discussions, Imean it's just, it's been great.
(26:03):
Yeah, I'm the minor things tothe bigger things.
For instance some people wouldsay I'm on YouTube because of my
ego, or Then I'm on podcast, orthat I'm putting myself out
there on Facebook because of myego.
I understand that you wantlikes yourself, seeking all the
(26:23):
things, but what's really funnyis Because of my ego.
I didn't do this.
For 20 years.
I have been feeling calledAdams, been telling me to blog
for 30 years.
He got me a website Literally30 years ago and was like I
don't even know how to do any ofthis.
What's an email, like all thesethings?
(26:44):
No, no, no.
And and I always made excuses.
And then I felt the Lord reallypushing me Just to come out and
be myself and share some ofthese things that happen if it's
gonna help anybody.
And I didn't because of my ego,because I didn't want you to
see me, I don't want you to knowme, I don't want you to see my
(27:05):
face, I don't want you see mykids face, because I don't want
you to judge me, because I caredmore About what you thought
then doing God's work and whatspirit was telling me to do.
And I felt tortured for twoyears, tortured and, until I
stepped out, was shaky hands,and I mean I remember one of the
(27:25):
times, very first time comingout on a podcast and doing a
recording, my whole body wasliterally shaking and I was like
I can't talk, you know yeahit's, I mean we're all different
and we all have these thingsand I just I'm seeking freedom
For everyone out there that'slooking to know themselves and
(27:45):
be better.
I'm not telling you To believein something that I believe.
I just want you to believe inyourself and believe yeah.
That you can have a life offreedom if you follow your
spirit and not your ego, and soI love that.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
I mean you and I, that's where we're so much on
the same page in that whole area.
Because I had your age is notyour cage.
I've had all this for severalyears and same thing just kept.
That could not put myself outthere and I still remember doing
that podcast and recording thetrailer and doing, I think,
literally just sweating, justSweating and Re-reporting and
(28:27):
and finally just being like, ohmy gosh, just hit the button and
go and get, get over it.
You know, and it was the samewhen I just decided to do it
right, I'm like God has beencalling you to this for so long.
But yeah, you, just you keepputting them, putting it back
(28:47):
here and no right.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Yeah, so there's your homework.
Homework is to find your puppydog.
And we don't hate our ego.
It's part of us and it's therefor a purpose.
We just need our spirit to lead.
And so you're gonna journal,write down what you feel, that
(29:11):
Now you're starting to identifythe words, the feelings, the
thoughts during the week, anytime in your life, and it's just
about being aware, trying to beaware, not jot down every
little thing or oh, this andthis and this happen.
It's more just like, okay,being aware, and then in my
quiet time, I'm gonna write downwhat did I notice?
What did I notice?
That kind of thing, yeah, andthen we'll revisit for like 30
(29:34):
minutes and then we'll go on tothe next thing.
And I want to do three weeks,if you're cool with it.
Speaker 3 (29:39):
I mean I feel like it's used in almost a bad way.
Now I hear it more in like oh,that person has an ego.
I think it's like inflation,like inflation of your persona
almost is kind of what isdescribed now, and I don't think
it has to be that.
I think it can just be your itcan be another word for like
personality but I think what wehear it in modern terms is like
(30:04):
that person has an ego, is likea bad, a bad thing.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yeah, like it's a negative connotation.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
Yeah like a negative, like that person thinks they're
better than everyone else, typeRight, dude, right.
But I don't think itnecessarily has to mean that.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, so I wrote down some ofthe things that are associated
with the ego.
Now, like what you said, we doneed an ego.
It's there to support us, youknow.
It helps us in times when we'rein trouble, it helps us get out
of bad situations, it helps youget up and take a shower and
(30:40):
get dressed and care aboutyourself.
It's just walking that fineline, right, mm-hmm.
So the first question that askedme and I was kind of blown away
and it really made me think wasAre you endlessly trying to
figure things out?
Yeah, yeah, um, the ego islimited.
It is a support and a service.
(31:01):
It's never good enough.
It's me versus you, defensive,an overgiver, or it can be like
an over hold, just dingy, notthe leader.
It tries to be a jockeys forposition, and this my whole
purpose in wanting to do this isto help train my inner ego to
(31:25):
follow and support my spirit Letmy spirit be the lead in my
decisions, my reactions andwanted to see how it went.
So I started experimenting withit and I started following
these steps, but I startedwriting my own steps within
those steps.
So here's the experiment.
(31:45):
So, now that I've explained whatego is, what is spirit so it's
six cents, like we said are veryattuned to their body.
They listen to the signalswithin their body, around their
body.
They expect positive results.
They feel secure and they knowthat, even when the times are
(32:07):
tough, that they will receivedivine guidance to overcome it
and that God will show up.
They are co-creators.
They want to work with people,they want to create with people.
They don't want to hide and bealone and separate themselves.
They contribute to the world'sbetterment and they recognize
(32:28):
spirit and others.
They have a peace about themand that peace and that flow
comes from not listening to yourego.
That's leading you right.
It's supposed to give you more.
It's supposed to give you moreof a peaceful experience.
So I decided to give it a tryand see what I found, and the
(32:51):
first part that I did wasidentifying your ego.
So the best way to identifyyour ego is put a label on it
called your barking dog.
So you have homework and yourhomework is just go within
yourself this week and noticeyour barking dog.
We all have a barking dog.
(33:13):
This barking dog.
You're just being aware to whatyou're hearing, what you're
noticing what you're saying,what your thoughts are.
It doesn't have to be everysecond.
Just go live your life, Thinkabout the barking dog and if it
comes up, notice it, notice whatit's saying to you, telling you
(33:33):
what to do, whatever.
So you're going to name yourbarking dog, you're going to
give it a breed and you're goingto give it a name and you're
going to describe that barkingdog to a T.
And if you want to name yourspirit, you can.
And what is spirit?
Right, we went over what spiritis.
(33:55):
But if you need a visual anddon't go so crazy on it, it's
just an exercise, right, justthink about it.
When I think of my spirit, Iknow that I'm speaking with the
Holy Spirit and I believe in Godand my Creator, but my spirit
is receiving it, right?
So some people would say it'syour higher self, your true self
(34:17):
.
It's Carrie, it's the true me,right?
Or you can put a name on it,right?
Whatever you want to do, butidentifying that barking dog was
crucial for me because I'm sovisual in that way in my mind's
eye that it can give me clarity.
(34:37):
You know I journal every day andmeditate, and so while I'm
journaling I asked myself whatis Tina telling you?
Like, what do you hear fromTina?
So I described her.
So now I know what she soundslike and I know what she says,
and I started jotting down someof the things that she said, so
in my journal, like I had ithere.
(34:58):
And then I was like weaknessesand insecurities, and then I
would list that like okay, whatis Tina's insecurities, what is
Tina's weaknesses?
And it's some of the samesentences over and over and over
again, and it's so much in mywhole life that it's just part
of your subconscious that youdon't even know You're hearing
(35:19):
it right.
So it's enabling me to identifythat voice.
That's what I want you to do iswrite your findings this week.
I want you to show me yourbarking dog and the name and
description, and then I'm goingto tell me what you experienced.
For example, a couple of lightbulbs came on.
(35:42):
I noticed that when I go to thegym and I'm teaching, it depends
on the mood that I'm in, rightthat gray area.
Most of the time I will see thegood in people immediately Like
, oh, they have this or oh, Ihave that.
Well, just being real in a badmood, had a shitty day, whatever
(36:05):
, maybe I'm not picking thatthing out, maybe I'm being not
so nice, right, and then mehaving that thought makes me not
feel good, makes me not likemyself.
That sets me up for my rest ofmy day.
So I'm trying to be morediligent, intentional, about
(36:26):
those things, because in thoselittle things we have big
decisions in our lives.
If I can't get those littlethings figured out, how am I
ever going to make a gooddecision on a big decision?
Really and that's where I'mpulled is to make the right
decisions I've got to go with myspirit to have more peace in
(36:47):
all my path.
Does that make sense?
Speaker 3 (36:49):
Being more mindful of what you're doing rather than
just.
Speaker 1 (36:54):
Yeah, yeah, maybe bring up those subconscious
things that you don't even know.
Bubble up to the surface, beaware of it, notice it, see if
it helps you in your life.
So are you in?
Are you with me on thisexperiment?
Yeah, yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
Cool.
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