April 21, 2025 • 35 mins
Wondering how to survive Disney with someone who'd rather be anywhere else? Or perhaps you're the one dreading the family Disney trip? Either way, we've got you covered as we sip on a Smoked Turkey cocktail from Olivia's Cafe at Disney's Old Key West Resort and dive into survival strategies for the reluctant Disney visitor.
The cocktail itself—a bourbon-based concoction with cherry liqueur, grenadine, and a hint of hickory smoke—seems perfectly designed for that stereotypical grumpy grandpa sitting on his DVC balcony while the grandkids watch cartoons inside. Much like a reluctant Disney visitor's experience, our review is lukewarm: not horrible, but not something we'd eagerly order again.
We explore this topic from two complementary angles. First, how to prepare someone who's less than enthusiastic about Disney: showing them nostalgic Disney live-action movies beforehand, finding their favorite foods in the parks, scheduling non-park days for longer stays, and strategically using Lightning Lanes to minimize frustration with lines. After all, nothing makes a grumpy visitor grumpier than paying "$150 to get in and another $40 to go on rides."
Then we catalog the classic complaints you'll hear (expensive food, lack of shade, early wake-up calls) and offer survival strategies for the reluctant visitor themselves: finding air-conditioned refuges like Hall of Presidents, strategic snacking to create natural breaks, slipping away to use single rider lines, perfecting the same grumpy expression for every photo, and sampling Disney's many adult beverages.
Whether you're the Disney enthusiast dragging someone along or the one being dragged, these strategies might just save your vacation. And remember, if you ever get separated from your group, the safest survival strategy is to head straight to the nearest lounge and stay put!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to Cheers to Ears.
Today we're having a smokedturkey and we're sipping on it.
Now, aaron, we are, we'resipping on a smoked turkey.
It's sold at Olivia's Cafe atthe Old Key West Resort.
Yes, it's made with wild turkey101 bourbon red stag, black
cherry, bourbon grenadine andOdwalla lemonade with a hint of
hickory smoke, garnished with aLuxardo gourmet maraschino
(00:24):
cherries, and it's sold for$17.50 at Olivia's Disney
moderate At.
Well, yeah, is it moderatestill, do you think?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
$17.50 is moderate.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's moderate for your average person.
Is it moderate for someone whowould your average Old Key West
person that we label as an OldKey West person?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Well, they might complain about the drink prices.
Maybe, maybe not.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
So let's talk about Old Key West first, while we're
on the subject of Old Key West,where grandparents go to take
their children to Disneyland.
Right, that's one of the firstthings Aaron said when we were
touring Old Key West on our trip, and it's true.
And it comes even more true aswe came up with this idea for
this episode.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And the drink happened to be at this
restaurant.
It's sold at many restaurantsprobably Old Key West, but it's
here, especially, and today,we're talking about.
What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
The Grumpy Old Man's Guide to Disney.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Right.
So the grumpy old dad,grandfather, whoever, but let's
finish talking about this.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Oh, the drink.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yes, all right, before we move on, I moved right
on to the episode because thisisn't our favorite.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
No, it's not.
So we made it.
Actually, we followedeverything, except for we didn't
add according to Disney or theDisney website you looked at,
they add liquid hickory smoke.
Right, we actually have a drinksmoker that you have that you
light wood chips over it and itinfuses the smoke on the top.
(01:54):
So we had wild turkey shot, awild turkey shot, a red stag
shot, a lemonade.
Didn't use Odwalla, used adifferent brand of lemonade.
I did a half ounce of grenadine, we threw in a cherry and we
smoked the whole thing.
At first it was very medicinalCherry medicine.
It's a little bit better now.
(02:17):
But this is a in the eveningsipping drink.
It's not like a fruity drink,it's not not refreshing, it's
just you want some, you wantsomething with good alcohol.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Forward sitting down with your stogie old key west,
old key west and the balcony ofyour dvc, of your dvc that you
bought in 1939 the kids are inthe in the living rooms watching
their cartoons and you're outavoiding them because you're a
(02:50):
grumpy old grandpa.
Yeah, it's a good sipper.
You can tell it's a good sipperbecause Aaron everyone.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Aaron's not done yet right, it's not gone.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
We have the same amount we've drank so far.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah, so's funny, yeah, so Idon't mind it.
I don't know if I wouldn'torder it.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I wouldn't order it.
I don't.
It's not bad we're going tohave.
I've had some bad drinks, rightit's not bad, but it's not
great.
It's probably not even good,it's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
The good part of it not being horrible is we now
have a whole bottle of redcherry.
Red stag cherry Red stag cherryliqueur with bourbon infused.
Right, we got to use thatsomehow.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, so hopefully there's some others that need
some cherry alcohol in them.
We have several bottles ofstuff that may only be used once
, so thankfully alcohol lastsforever.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, we might have to come up with some creative
ideas to use them.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, or at least look for drinks on the Disney
menus that have thoseingredients.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
That might be an episode.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
subject Like peach schnapps.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Right, no.
Subject Banana liqueur episode.
The banana rum we've used nowtwice.
I think we're gonna use itagain next episode?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
yeah right, yeah, we've used that quite a bit.
And then, but yeah, the peachschnapps and the blackberry
brandy.
Yeah, we have black.
Yeah, that, that's a littletough this might add to the list
.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
the cherry bourbon might add to that list of things
not used very often that webought it used to be Disney.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
like all their drinks had Blue Curacao in them, and
we have yet to do a drink thathas Blue Curacao.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
We haven't, and back in the 90s I used Blue Curacao a
lot for drinks at home.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah, Maybe Disney World has moved beyond Blue
Curacao.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Maybe, maybe they're evolving.
Yeah, that's Disney forward.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
So we're talking about Grumpy Old Man's Guide to.
Disney, and we took differenttakes, as we usually do, because
we don't talk about itbeforehand.
Usually we just show up andwhat'd you do, right?
Oh, I did something completelydifferent.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, we kind of did that today.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But we are not Grumpy Old men at Disney.
We're the opposite of that.
No matter what happens, we'rein a good mood.
But I could understand we mayhave traveled with grumpy old
men, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I've never been in a group with a grumpy old man.
I think that I wouldn't putmyself in that situation.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, now I envisioned a couple of grumpy
old men, I know, okay, and Ijust channeled them and what
they would complain about Okay.
Maybe, but I did come up with aprepping.
A grumpy old man for Disney,what you should do going into it
.
So the first thing I thought isget him in the mood by showing
(05:39):
him old live action Disneymovies Like Apple Dumpling Gang,
because even a grumpy old manis going to laugh at those.
Maybe some Follow Me Boys,maybe some other Kurt Russell,
maybe the real campy version ofSwiss Family Robinson, like the
60s version, a lot of that 60s,70s stuff.
Show them some of those.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
You are bringing up old Disney a lot lately.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I am, I know that's cool.
I'm, I am, I know that's cool,that's cool all right, you go
through phases.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
You're in your.
You're in a retro disney phaseright now.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
That's cool I think it's because.
So downtown disney I thinktheir idea was to make it retro,
back to when it opened.
To me it has that feel.
But anyway, next thing you dois you buy him a most expensive
vacation ever t-shirt.
Okay, now, not every guy whobuys this t-shirt is a grumpy
(06:31):
old man, but all grumpy old menare wearing this t-shirt and
they mean it.
It's not like, hey, I boughtthis because it's funny and I'm
the dad and I'm spending all mymoney on this vacation.
No, they're really angry.
So you got to give them thet-shirt.
(06:51):
You got to find their favoritefoods in the park just to be
ready.
If the man likes barbecue, findthe barbecue places.
If he likes taco, find the tacoplaces.
You got to find the foods andthe snacks that will make him
happy.
Schedule non-park days forlonger stays.
So you and I, if we were therefor seven days, we could go to
the park seven days, correct?
Rope drop to ride stop.
Uh, not, not your grumpy oldman.
(07:12):
He needs some sitting by thepool days, he does, you know,
sitting on the balcony at oldkey west days okay I can't
imagine.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
That it's like like what do our non-park days look?
Like it's resort hop Right.
Yeah, we come as close to theparks as possible on non-park
days.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
In fact, with my trip that's coming up here in three
months, we have the last day,because we don't fly out, we
don't leave until about four inthe afternoon and everybody's
going to want to go to DisneySprings.
I don't want to go to DisneySprings, I.
And everybody's going to wantto go to Disney Springs.
I don't want to go to DisneySprings, I want to resort hop,
Go to the Riviera.
Yeah, so we are starting thatday at Gwendolyn Rogers for
breakfast.
So schedule some non-park days.
(07:52):
You got to know the man'strigger points and plan
accordingly.
So if he's going to complainabout walking around, get him
some good shoes.
Have a plan in place so that hedoesn't have to walk around
like all day nonstop.
Last thing I have avoid theflipping lines.
(08:15):
So this is a catch-22, becausea grumpy old man is ticked off
that he paid 150 bucks to get inthere approximately, but then
he's got to pay another 30 bucksto avoid the lines to go on
rides.
Well, he'll just say another$30, $40 to go on rides.
That's complete BS.
But you, being the park guruyou are, are going to know.
Buy Grumpy Old man themulti-pass and single pass so he
(08:37):
doesn't have to stand in lineRight, because an hour and a
half line, oh.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Do you do that without letting him know you
spent it?
I think so, oh.
How do you do that withoutletting him know you spent it?
I think so, yeah, you just addhim to your app, I think, and
then just buy it.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I think it all gets funneled in through her app,
right, yeah.
And then you just oh, assumingit's through, like a woman right
this is.
This is a lot we go in this iswhy we go in now yeah, no reason
why.
Oh yeah, oh no, no, no, we usethis line yeah, we use this line
yeah, no, no, we don't go inthat way, I'll scan it for you
yeah, take care of everything,right, okay, so that's, that's
(09:15):
just, if you're gonna go with agrumpy old man dad, grandpa,
okay gr Uncle whomever?
So I broke mine down intocategories.
So I had food and souvenirs.
So these are the complaintsthat a grumpy old man is going
to have Food and souvenirs.
It's too bleeping expensive forwhat you're getting, right?
(09:36):
Why am I paying $15 for this?
It's barely a mouthful Stupidskewer.
Yeah, yeah, stupid skewers.
Get no meat on the skewer.
So how can you cook a burgerthis bad, and that's, I think,
that goes to avoid galacticgrill with all your might and
(09:58):
and uh, cosmic rays.
Just don't buy the burgers.
You know backlot express.
Don't.
Don't buy burgers when you'rethere.
Find something else, becauseyeah, he'll, he'll, he'll, hate
him.
Don't take him into theshopping because it's all cheap
plastic crap that's wayoverpriced.
All of it was complaining thewhole time.
Ten dollar10 pins yeah, itshould be 99 cents.
(10:22):
Right, you'd get five of theseat the dollar store for a buck.
Yep, $70 sweatshirts no, I likemy $12.99 at Walmart.
Right, it says Disney on it, yousons of biscuits.
All right, all right.
And then what the hell is thismobile ordering stuff?
I got to order my food ahead oftime on an app.
(10:42):
No, just get in line like anormal person.
And then the flip side of thatis why am I standing in line for
30 minutes for a crappyhamburger?
You know, darned if you do,darned if you don't.
Right Now, here's the one $20for a drink.
Well, that's not bad.
Actually, I like this, so it'sthe one thing he won't complain
(11:04):
about.
No, He'll complain at first andthen he'll take a sip and be
like oh okay, yeah, I could dothat.
So now rides and walking aroundmy next category.
You know he's going to complainabout everything making his
sciatica worse, the walking, therides, how he has to contort
(11:25):
his bad knee, all that stuff.
Then then it'd be like whydidn't you tell me to bring my
good shoes, my good walkingshoes?
It's gonna be your fault, right, you're gonna get him good
walking shoes, but he's gonnajust complain because he didn't
bring this other shoes.
He'd been fine if he broughtthese other shoes.
He's gonna be like I like thatcarousel of Progress and that
Hall of Presidents and theAmerican Adventure and Mr
(11:46):
Lincoln.
I like all those.
How come there can't be more ofthose rides, those attractions?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
He's not wrong.
No, I like this guy.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, but see you know, if it's Grumpy Grandpa and
he's brought the kids, thegrandkids, teddy Roosevelt ride,
yeah, we need a Teddy Rooseveltride.
You know, and if you take themto shows, why are they always
singing in these shows?
They can't act, obviously,right, they're just singing
(12:13):
nonstop.
Bunch of no-talent hacks.
You know, half the rides justmake him sick.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
And then he can't find his Tums, wow.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
He's having a bad day too.
He doesn't like Disneyland.
He's having a bad day.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Anything to complain about, right?
Grumpy old man.
So think about this If you'rebringing a grumpy old man, this
is your warning guide there'sabsolutely no shade anywhere.
You're just out in the sun allday.
Right, you know they.
Right, you know they couldbuild a bench with a little
umbrella over it if they wantedto.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
They just don't want to.
Just don't want to.
They want to do this.
Then there's the whole I paid150 to get in.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
now I have to pay extra to go on rides.
Multi-pass, single pass right,talked about that.
Why do I need to get up at 6 amif the park opens at 9 am?
So grumpy old man, he doesn'tbelieve in your weird philosophy
of rope dropping, no, andhaving to be.
And I thought about this.
I understand it.
So you got to go get in line anhour early.
(13:13):
Oh yeah, I get in line an hourearly for well, maybe 45 minutes
early for Skyliner.
If I'm going to Disney World oh,disney World At Pop Century
minutes early for Skyliner.
If I'm going to Disney World oh, disney World At Pop Century
and I was thinking of that tripcoming up 45 minutes, and that
gets me once everything getsgoing, I get and then I go stand
in line for security and thenthey take us inside and then I
(13:34):
stand in line to wait for theride.
I've literally waited for likean hour and a half so that I
don't have to wait, or two hoursso that I don't have to wait an
hour in line later.
Yeah, but it just, it makessense for a Disney person.
When you put it that way it's awhole different.
So you know, grumpy old man andthe weather.
Why is it so hot, humid, cold,rainy, windy, any of them, right
(13:57):
?
Whatever the weather is, he'sgoing to complain.
Yeah, and that's just it.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
He's right, he's not wrong on any of those.
It's always one of those thingsin both coasts.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah.
So why would Walt Disney builda park in Central Florida?
Swamp snakes, gators, hot,humid, what's he thinking?
Hurricanes every once in awhile.
Stupid Walt Disney, grumpy oldman should have been in
minnesota.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
That's a good state yeah nothing.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Nothing bad happens in minnesota build it in
arkansas you know very fewtornadoes in uh in arkansas.
Well, maybe there are a lot, Idon't know there's there
probably is so I paid 150.
It's always going to come back.
I paid $150 for this, $150 perday to have all the rides closed
(14:47):
because of a little rain.
So it's raining to close therides?
Well, that's just stupid.
Do I get a refund, Right?
Refunds, grumpy old man.
I have to carry around anumbrella and a poncho all day
and maybe not need them.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
But I still still gotta haul these stupid things
around.
I gotta carry a backpack taut,humid, rainy, windy, back, sweat
, and I yeah, now I got theshape of my backpack on my shirt
in the with sweat.
You know it's 7 am and italready feels like we're walking
around on the face of the sun.
It does does, depending on themonth.
(15:22):
Yeah, it's beautiful, isn't it?
I've had one morning of all thedays I've gone.
So I've gone in November, april, may and twice in September to
Disney World, and now I'm goingin June.
I've had one chilly, slightlychilly morning out of all of
(15:42):
those, right, and it was onlychilly because I was in the
Skyliner and the wind wasblowing in there.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, so we're going next week and I've had this
conversation with many people Iwork with.
They say it's so hot there, howcan you stand the heat?
And for some reason, when Iopened that door and we both
wear glasses- yeah.
When you open the door to yourhotel room, your glasses fog up.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And in 0.2 seconds you have a gleam of sweat over
your whole body, under yourclothes.
Yeah, and for some reason it'sone of the most amazing feelings
in the world to me.
Yeah, Because I know where I'mgoing next.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Exactly, it doesn't matter.
I just I take it doesn't matter, I just I take a deep breath
and said here we go, drink thoseelectrolytes and good to go.
Okay, so that's all the travel.
So last one okay, that's mylast category is on travel,
uh-oh just that can't be goodcategories related to travel.
So, first of all, five hundreddollars per night for a hotel
(16:37):
room, right for perks.
What the heck are perks?
What I can get into the parkearlier.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
I don't want to get into the park earlier yeah, he
could play more, though, if hestayed at all-star yeah, he's
gonna have to how far we sit.
A value hotel, he'd say any ofthem.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
He would play more about something because he would
love key west and that's as faraway from the parks as you get
it is, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
But it's where our boys would stay.
It's, yeah, it's where the goodold boys stay Sipping a smoked
turkey Right, having my cigar soperks.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Can't believe I have to go to the airport at 5 am to
catch a flight to a place Idon't want to go.
Bad enough, I got to go.
I got to catch a plane at 5am.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I gotta get up at Like 3.30 in the morning.
Whose stupid idea was that?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Christy's gonna listen to this.
This doesn't come out for aleave, because we leave at 5am.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Christy's not a grumpy old man?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
She's not.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I mean hardly any of this applies to Does she
identify as a grumpy old man?
No, christy, do you identify asa grumpy old man?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I mean, and everything you're saying, I
think the only thing that hitsChristy is the no shade thing.
Yeah, that's the only thingthat's even close to how she.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Well, she's fair skinned Right.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It's a legit thing with her.
It's fair, it's fair.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yes, fair argument For fair skin.
Did you get her?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
parasol.
Well, I've got her things shedoesn't Like.
I got her this awesome hat.
They sell at Adventureland, atthat little store across, right,
so they're like Adventureland,indiana Jones.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Very shady hat.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Women's hat yes, Right, like something like
Audrey Hepburn would wear.
Oh, one of those big old things, it's really cool looking.
She forgot it last time we went.
Oh, one of those big old things, it's really cool looking.
She forgot it last time we went.
Oh, I have, she has the.
I got her the towels, thecooling towels.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
I have those, yeah, the fan the little portable fan.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
And she doesn't use them enough.
I don't think Ah.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
I mean she'll pay to differ.
Well, we just power through,but are you bringing your
umbrellas and ponchos and allthat?
Yeah, I gotta, I gotta get herumbrella.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
still, you do we have to order that right when we get
down this.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
That would be good for walking around to be in the
shade yeah, because she.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
She acted the other day like we could share an
umbrella if it pours down.
Right, we cannot share anumbrella.
She's never well you could juststand still in a loving embrace
well, yeah, in flor in Floridayou can share an umbrella
because you just dart to thenearest.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Right Florida in general, but at Disney you can't
just get undercover reallyquick.
All the time you have to havethe umbrella.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
And there's not enough for 30,000 people.
Right, there's not enoughcovered areas.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
No.
So you're, it's raining inFlorida, yeah, and the heat in
California.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You know grumpy old man Something blasted on me all
day long.
What do you mean?
There's not enough room to packmy slip-on shoes.
What am I going to do at TSA?
He might have to take off hisshoes, so don't tell him he
can't bring his slip-ons.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Don't tell him.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Pack the comfy shoes in the bag and then let him wear
his slip-ons to the airport sothat he can get through that TSA
quickly.
Okay, last thing he's going tosay why not take the red eye?
It'll save $100 per ticket andwe don't have to pay for another
night in a hotel.
We'll just get in there at 7 am, go straight to the parks.
(20:01):
Save us all that money.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Well, I'm pro for that.
I'm pro that if you're close,not flying across the country,
not flying across the country.
So for us, where we live in thePacific Northwest, disneyland
is a great early morning.
I go first day every time I flyin.
Yeah, Because I agree with thatstatement the grumpy old man.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
It's 10 o'clock.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Right, you get there about 10 am, you're in the park
around 10 am.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
But see, but see that .
Right, that makes sense.
I went at it from a differentangle because I was actually
contemplating doing that todisney world.
You were.
That was stupid that's justdumb to fly six, seven hours go
for a day park all day and thenfly home and then fly home to
use my one free day I would needa week off of work so I'd lose
(20:46):
so much money because it was Ihad to use all my vacation for
one day at disney like how muchwas eli's january ticket?
it was like 230 bucks.
Yeah, round trip, right fordirect flight.
But actually that wasn't themost convenient flight for the
red eye plan I would have to flyin the day, I believe the day
right.
He had to stop yeah so anyway,that's all so all my ideas for
(21:09):
what grumpy old man wouldcomplain about?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Right.
So you went with kind of apartner's view of a grumpy old
man.
Yeah Right, what I went was Iwent more like if you're a dad,
okay Right, you're a dad thatdoesn't like Disney, your wife's
totally into Disney, yeah, andyou're going.
I've known some people likeyou're going, but you don't want
to yeah but you're still goingto disney right, oh yeah I came
(21:32):
with a few ideas of what youcould do with the parks to make
it more fun okay so mine's more.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Mine's more about barreling through yeah, so
getting into this is going backto the prepping.
A grumpy old man for disneylike being ready.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Right, this is.
This is personal.
I'm being ready, though this isif my partner has nothing to do
with what I'm doing.
Okay, this is me.
I'm the grunt, I'm the grumpyguy, grumpy dad, pretty much the
guy that's wearing that shirtout of spite.
This says most expensivevacation ever, okay, okay.
So my first one is escaperoutes.
Get away from the crowds at theenchanted tiki room, country
(22:09):
bears hall of presidents as muchas you can.
Go into all the air-conditionedplaces as much as possible.
Well, you just sit there.
You don't have to pay attentionto it if you don't want to
you're just sitting in airconditioning yeah like you can
go on.
You can go to hall of presidentslike two or three times during
the time you're there and justsit there and just sit.
Look at your phone in the backbecause I'm, because I don't
(22:30):
want to be here anyway, right?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
yeah, we've all seen that person that's on their
phone the whole time I actuallywatched a video and it was a
contest of who could go, andthis is after like a long day of
being at disney who could gothe most amount of times to the
American Adventure in a rowwithout falling asleep.
You're walking out in the hotsun all day, I'm all in that
(22:55):
challenge, and then you sitthere and you have to stay awake
.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
How many times could you do Carousel of Progress in a
row?
Could you just spin around?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I could go a lot Because I would look at
different stuff the whole time.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Okay, yeah, those are good ideas.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I know.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
If I lived in Southern California, or if we
both lived in SouthernCalifornia at the same time.
That'd be a good challenge.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Who could do something over and over and over
again?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, we'd both pick a ride like Tiki Room all day,
no other rides.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
That would be a good one.
I wonder if they'd let you juststay in the tiki room.
I don't know.
You could probably ask themWithout being kicked out.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
You'd have to go.
I would want to leave and comeback in.
Just keep running around.
Yeah, I would leave every time,just to get that break.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yeah, Because that would be a lot.
That would be.
I love the tiki room.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
That is one of my must do's.
I do, it's a must do.
But is it a must do, do, do, do.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
I don't know, I don't think I've ever done it more
than like twice in a day and notconcurrent.
I've never done it twice in aday.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I think I may have once really, I've only done it
once in a day.
I do it most days.
I didn't last time.
We did it when we went with eliand christy, but when I was
with Eli's graduating class, wemissed it that day.
I missed it that day.
Eli went.
Okay.
So my second one.
Yeah, snacks, lots of snacks,snacks.
Sitting down for meals is great, but snacks can take random
(24:21):
time away.
If you have lots of differentsnacks, yeah, you can try them.
Stand there and eat them,nibble on the snack.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
To get through the day.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
To get through the day.
You just have a random, like achurro here, a Mickey ice cream
bar here, right, maybe, ifyou're a little hungry or a
little pizza, flop over Somepopcorn, some popcorn.
Just random snacks all day long.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Taking time.
I'm just wasting time.
Yeah, I'm getting through thisday.
Yep, right, they're doing.
They're doing the teacups.
I'm having a pretzel.
Okay, right, right, yeah, youguys go on that, right, I'll
just go and pretzel, I'll beright there actually, if they're
on the teacups, you can go geta chimichanga, all right yeah,
dj would have two.
He would have two.
Slip away from your family togo on single rider lines by
(25:07):
yourself.
Say, oh, I gotta go to thebathroom real quick, I'll be
right back space mountain singlerider line a grumpy old man
would do that no this is dad.
This, this is more.
I want more of the take of adad trying to get the time away,
get okay, right, he doesn'twant to be in there, he doesn't
want to become grumpy.
Right, he's got the kids allaround him.
What can I do to make my partdance?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
That's the more of the take, I went with.
Okay, right, that's a good take.
Yeah, this is good advice.
All across the board, preppingfor your part dance yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Hey guys, yeah, hey guys.
I got to go real quick.
I got to get the water too,though you can't not have water.
Yeah, yeah, yeah or I drink itall the way here.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Yeah, that would be where you stash a cup into your
backpack or something and thenjust randomly fill it somewhere
when you come back and just belike oh, I finished it up, right
, this takes a little prepping,because you have to know what
the single rider lines arebefore you go.
And which ones will get youback somewhat quickly.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Right, and you got to be ready.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Anytime where the kids are starting to cry a
little bit and they needsomething.
Yeah Right, oh, I got to go tothe bathroom.
Oh man, oh.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Oh, my stomach, that chimichanga really got me.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Those berries tacos went right through me right, so
your wife's gonna want to take alot of pictures yes all right,
your goal and you're taking itas fun.
She's gonna take it as she'sgonna be mad at you for doing
this, but you're just having funtoo.
Yeah, it's your time.
You make a grumpy face everypicture.
Yeah, like the, I don't want tobe here.
(26:51):
Face Ooh.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Like the sad frowdy face, Like the nine-year-old boy
face.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, every single picture, the whole entire trip,
the same exact pose, and youpractice it before you go.
Yeah, so you get the same exactpose in front of the castle.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Here's me and Mickey, me and a princess.
That's good, yeah, every timethat fits along the lines of
just screw it up and you'llnever be asked to do it again.
Like the job, right there'sthat.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
There's, that's a good one.
Yeah, that they won't ask youback to disney after this.
And then, when they talk aboutit years later, you said well, I
had fun yeah, yeah, I had atotal blast right we expect me
not to have fun.
Is that what you wanted?
What gave you the impression?
Yeah, did you want?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
a fake smile.
What gave you the impression ofhaving fun?
Right memories, yeah memories.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
You're still talking about it.
If I would have smiled, youwouldn't talk about this picture
ever.
Yeah, now they have thesefrowny faces.
You bring it up all the timewe're discussing.
The pictures sneak away, soyour whole plan of the day is to
find the perfect hiding spotyeah so you're walking around
the park all day, like you walkaround the park meaninglessly
all day long, right you're justgoing to stupid rides with the
(28:08):
kids and your wife.
They want to go to small world.
Yeah right, you think that'slame because you're you're
actually smarter than them, andthen so so what you do is you
sneak away and you make it agame, trying to find the perfect
spot to hide, just casually say, hey kids, is that cinderella?
And then when they look, youwalk the other way, you just
(28:30):
walk right.
They're like where's dad at?
You're looking around, you got10, 15 minutes.
Yeah, I lost you.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
There's a whole crowd , there's so many people.
I couldn't see you guys.
I, I stood still and you walkedoff.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Right, you just blame them oh look, is the parade
starting, and then just go quick, quick run and get a spot.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
You can get Breda Springs and Space Mountain there
.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
And then just oh, they rerouted us.
I couldn't make it to your spot.
They rerouted us, so I couldn'tactually walk down that street.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
I know that's a true fact.
They do that Right.
Couldn't actually walk downthat street, I know.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
That's a true fact.
They do that Right.
I ended up on Guardians in theother park.
I ended up sitting down forfried chicken at Plaza Inn.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I don't know why I'm back in the hotel pool.
That was weird.
The crowd was crazy.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, I ended up in the Disneyland hotel pool, I
thought, well, I'm not sure whatI'm doing because I'm not real
experienced at Disney World orDisneyland, so I just followed
the crowd Right and I ended upback in the hotel room.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I ended up at Trader Sam's, and now I'm at Trader
Sam's.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I don't know what.
I'm my third drink already.
Yeah, what's going on here?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I'm confused, wife, so please help.
That's just going back tosurvival training.
So if you're ever lost in thewoods, don't wander around, stay
put.
So if you're if you're a manand you're you've lost your
family in disneyland.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Just find a lounge and stay put right, stay put the
nearest lounge they'll find youand just order drink after
drink until they find you.
Yeah, that's the only way tosurvive.
It's the only good advice.
It is you can.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Tragedy could befall you if you don't follow that
right.
That is yeah, that.
Even that almost goes withoutsaying.
Right, just find a lounge andorder a drink and sit down yeah
and you'll be found and saved.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
So your family's going to want to go on these
rides, right?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Small World is the main one that comes to my mind,
because you know me, yeah, right, it has a stupid song that you
don't like.
Uh-huh, right.
But just on these rides youdon't like, say you don't like
Tiana's, you don't like the song, right.
Or you don't want to get wet,you don't like the song.
Yeah, that too.
Or wet, yeah, you don't likethe songs on all these rides
they have, right.
So you make up your own beforeyou go.
(30:53):
Hmm, so imagine driving.
I mean, I'm going to do this ifI'm ever forced to go on.
I got to start working on thisnow, so I can do this if I ever
have to go on Small World again.
Like if I have grandkidssomeday and they really want to
go on Small World.
You make up your own lyrics andsong to the ride and you sing
it very loudly as you go along,yes.
(31:14):
Right.
Just imagine an ACDC version ofSmall World.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I like that Little Brian Johnson, yeah, just
rocking through.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Small World Different lyrics.
Yeah, just with the same tune,but all different lyrics.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Yeah, just.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Metallica right.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Well, that's.
The challenge is to come upwith different lyrics that fit.
That fit the tune.
Each musician Right and style,yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
That sounds fun.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I might do that in my head anyway.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
And I have one last one okay, the drinks, the drinks
.
Disney has lots of drinks theydo.
Your goal is to try as many asyou can.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yes, that's, that's the main goal, but you can't be
inebriated no, you have to, youhave to although if you got
kicked out of disneyland andyou're like a lifetime ban,
you've solved your problem.
That's a personal choice.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to gothat route.
No, even if I didn't likeDisneyland, I don't think I'd
want to go that route.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
No, you don't want to be inebriated.
That would make you want to goback, though, if you haven't
tried all the drinks.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, if you're drink-focused, it could be a
great trip so you know, here'sthe thing about the alcohol, the
adult beverages, is that if yougo that route, I you know what.
I think I'm just reallydehydrated.
I need to go back to the hotel.
I, those drinks just made mereally, really dehydrated and I
(32:44):
didn't bring my electrolytepackets with me.
Always leave your electrolytepackets back in the hotel room,
right, if you know you don'twant to be there, then you have
an excuse to go back.
I need to go and drink thosequickly.
What you get?
A Gatorade, no, that's not thesame.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I left my electrolytes at Trader Sam's.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
I left my electrolytes at Trader Sam so
that's.
That's all I have, okay I thinkwe've got people well prepped I
yeah, in both ways.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah, either surviving the day or helping
your spouse survive the day.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, or your or your gram or your dad and also
knowing how, recognizing thesigns of what they get, what
they're complaining about, orthey complain about one of those
things, oh oh, I might have agrumpy old man, right?
I don't know if it's possibleto have a grumpy old woman.
You could have a karen, maybethat's our next episode?
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I don't know.
I mean, there probably has tobe karen in the parks.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I don't know, we've got to do it.
I don't know who the.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I don't know who the what?
The research of grumpy oldwomen at the parks?
Karen in the parks, they justwant to go.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
I think they're the ones they're walking up with
their Bob haircut.
Tell him, mickey, they want tospeak to his manager.
I think that's where the solotrip was invented, it could be.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I don't know, but anyway, yeah, Thanks for
listening to us today andremember the.
The final thing is trial thedrinks, trial the drinks.
Hello and welcome to Cheers to Ears.
Today we're having a smokedturkey and we're sipping on it.
Now, aaron, we are, we'resipping on a smoked turkey.
It's sold at Olivia's Cafe atthe Old Key West Resort.
Yes, it's made with wild turkey101 bourbon red stag, black
cherry, bourbon grenadine andOdwalla lemonade with a hint of
hickory smoke, garnished with aLuxardo gourmet maraschino
(00:24):
cherries, and it's sold for$17.50 at Olivia's Disney
moderate At.
Well, yeah, is it moderatestill, do you think?
Speaker 2 (00:33):
$17.50 is moderate.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
It's moderate for your average person.
Is it moderate for someone whowould your average Old Key West
person that we label as an OldKey West person?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
Well, they might complain about the drink prices.
Maybe, maybe not.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
So let's talk about Old Key West first, while we're
on the subject of Old Key West,where grandparents go to take
their children to Disneyland.
Right, that's one of the firstthings Aaron said when we were
touring Old Key West on our trip, and it's true.
And it comes even more true aswe came up with this idea for
this episode.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
And the drink happened to be at this
restaurant.
It's sold at many restaurantsprobably Old Key West, but it's
here, especially, and today,we're talking about.
What are we talking about today?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
The Grumpy Old Man's Guide to Disney.
Speaker 1 (01:20):
Right.
So the grumpy old dad,grandfather, whoever, but let's
finish talking about this.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Oh, the drink.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Yes, all right, before we move on, I moved right
on to the episode because thisisn't our favorite.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
No, it's not.
So we made it.
Actually, we followedeverything, except for we didn't
add according to Disney or theDisney website you looked at,
they add liquid hickory smoke.
Right, we actually have a drinksmoker that you have that you
light wood chips over it and itinfuses the smoke on the top.
(01:54):
So we had wild turkey shot, awild turkey shot, a red stag
shot, a lemonade.
Didn't use Odwalla, used adifferent brand of lemonade.
I did a half ounce of grenadine, we threw in a cherry and we
smoked the whole thing.
At first it was very medicinalCherry medicine.
It's a little bit better now.
(02:17):
But this is a in the eveningsipping drink.
It's not like a fruity drink,it's not not refreshing, it's
just you want some, you wantsomething with good alcohol.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Forward sitting down with your stogie old key west,
old key west and the balcony ofyour dvc, of your dvc that you
bought in 1939 the kids are inthe in the living rooms watching
their cartoons and you're outavoiding them because you're a
(02:50):
grumpy old grandpa.
Yeah, it's a good sipper.
You can tell it's a good sipperbecause Aaron everyone.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Aaron's not done yet right, it's not gone.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
We have the same amount we've drank so far.
Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah, so's funny, yeah, so Idon't mind it.
I don't know if I wouldn'torder it.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
I wouldn't order it.
I don't.
It's not bad we're going tohave.
I've had some bad drinks, rightit's not bad, but it's not
great.
It's probably not even good,it's okay.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
The good part of it not being horrible is we now
have a whole bottle of redcherry.
Red stag cherry Red stag cherryliqueur with bourbon infused.
Right, we got to use thatsomehow.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah, so hopefully there's some others that need
some cherry alcohol in them.
We have several bottles ofstuff that may only be used once
, so thankfully alcohol lastsforever.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah, we might have to come up with some creative
ideas to use them.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Yeah, or at least look for drinks on the Disney
menus that have thoseingredients.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
That might be an episode.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
subject Like peach schnapps.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Right, no.
Subject Banana liqueur episode.
The banana rum we've used nowtwice.
I think we're gonna use itagain next episode?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
yeah right, yeah, we've used that quite a bit.
And then, but yeah, the peachschnapps and the blackberry
brandy.
Yeah, we have black.
Yeah, that, that's a littletough this might add to the list
.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
the cherry bourbon might add to that list of things
not used very often that webought it used to be Disney.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
like all their drinks had Blue Curacao in them, and
we have yet to do a drink thathas Blue Curacao.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
We haven't, and back in the 90s I used Blue Curacao a
lot for drinks at home.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah, Maybe Disney World has moved beyond Blue
Curacao.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
Maybe, maybe they're evolving.
Yeah, that's Disney forward.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
So we're talking about Grumpy Old Man's Guide to.
Disney, and we took differenttakes, as we usually do, because
we don't talk about itbeforehand.
Usually we just show up andwhat'd you do, right?
Oh, I did something completelydifferent.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah, we kind of did that today.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
But we are not Grumpy Old men at Disney.
We're the opposite of that.
No matter what happens, we'rein a good mood.
But I could understand we mayhave traveled with grumpy old
men, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
I've never been in a group with a grumpy old man.
I think that I wouldn't putmyself in that situation.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Yeah, now I envisioned a couple of grumpy
old men, I know, okay, and Ijust channeled them and what
they would complain about Okay.
Maybe, but I did come up with aprepping.
A grumpy old man for Disney,what you should do going into it
.
So the first thing I thought isget him in the mood by showing
(05:39):
him old live action Disneymovies Like Apple Dumpling Gang,
because even a grumpy old manis going to laugh at those.
Maybe some Follow Me Boys,maybe some other Kurt Russell,
maybe the real campy version ofSwiss Family Robinson, like the
60s version, a lot of that 60s,70s stuff.
Show them some of those.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
You are bringing up old Disney a lot lately.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
I am, I know that's cool.
I'm, I am, I know that's cool,that's cool all right, you go
through phases.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
You're in your.
You're in a retro disney phaseright now.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
That's cool I think it's because.
So downtown disney I thinktheir idea was to make it retro,
back to when it opened.
To me it has that feel.
But anyway, next thing you dois you buy him a most expensive
vacation ever t-shirt.
Okay, now, not every guy whobuys this t-shirt is a grumpy
(06:31):
old man, but all grumpy old menare wearing this t-shirt and
they mean it.
It's not like, hey, I boughtthis because it's funny and I'm
the dad and I'm spending all mymoney on this vacation.
No, they're really angry.
So you got to give them thet-shirt.
(06:51):
You got to find their favoritefoods in the park just to be
ready.
If the man likes barbecue, findthe barbecue places.
If he likes taco, find the tacoplaces.
You got to find the foods andthe snacks that will make him
happy.
Schedule non-park days forlonger stays.
So you and I, if we were therefor seven days, we could go to
the park seven days, correct?
Rope drop to ride stop.
Uh, not, not your grumpy oldman.
(07:12):
He needs some sitting by thepool days, he does, you know,
sitting on the balcony at oldkey west days okay I can't
imagine.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
That it's like like what do our non-park days look?
Like it's resort hop Right.
Yeah, we come as close to theparks as possible on non-park
days.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
In fact, with my trip that's coming up here in three
months, we have the last day,because we don't fly out, we
don't leave until about four inthe afternoon and everybody's
going to want to go to DisneySprings.
I don't want to go to DisneySprings, I.
And everybody's going to wantto go to Disney Springs.
I don't want to go to DisneySprings, I want to resort hop,
Go to the Riviera.
Yeah, so we are starting thatday at Gwendolyn Rogers for
breakfast.
So schedule some non-park days.
(07:52):
You got to know the man'strigger points and plan
accordingly.
So if he's going to complainabout walking around, get him
some good shoes.
Have a plan in place so that hedoesn't have to walk around
like all day nonstop.
Last thing I have avoid theflipping lines.
(08:15):
So this is a catch-22, becausea grumpy old man is ticked off
that he paid 150 bucks to get inthere approximately, but then
he's got to pay another 30 bucksto avoid the lines to go on
rides.
Well, he'll just say another$30, $40 to go on rides.
That's complete BS.
But you, being the park guruyou are, are going to know.
Buy Grumpy Old man themulti-pass and single pass so he
(08:37):
doesn't have to stand in lineRight, because an hour and a
half line, oh.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Do you do that without letting him know you
spent it?
I think so, oh.
How do you do that withoutletting him know you spent it?
I think so, yeah, you just addhim to your app, I think, and
then just buy it.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
I think it all gets funneled in through her app,
right, yeah.
And then you just oh, assumingit's through, like a woman right
this is.
This is a lot we go in this iswhy we go in now yeah, no reason
why.
Oh yeah, oh no, no, no, we usethis line yeah, we use this line
yeah, no, no, we don't go inthat way, I'll scan it for you
yeah, take care of everything,right, okay, so that's, that's
(09:15):
just, if you're gonna go with agrumpy old man dad, grandpa,
okay gr Uncle whomever?
So I broke mine down intocategories.
So I had food and souvenirs.
So these are the complaintsthat a grumpy old man is going
to have Food and souvenirs.
It's too bleeping expensive forwhat you're getting, right?
(09:36):
Why am I paying $15 for this?
It's barely a mouthful Stupidskewer.
Yeah, yeah, stupid skewers.
Get no meat on the skewer.
So how can you cook a burgerthis bad, and that's, I think,
that goes to avoid galacticgrill with all your might and
(09:58):
and uh, cosmic rays.
Just don't buy the burgers.
You know backlot express.
Don't.
Don't buy burgers when you'rethere.
Find something else, becauseyeah, he'll, he'll, he'll, hate
him.
Don't take him into theshopping because it's all cheap
plastic crap that's wayoverpriced.
All of it was complaining thewhole time.
Ten dollar10 pins yeah, itshould be 99 cents.
(10:22):
Right, you'd get five of theseat the dollar store for a buck.
Yep, $70 sweatshirts no, I likemy $12.99 at Walmart.
Right, it says Disney on it, yousons of biscuits.
All right, all right.
And then what the hell is thismobile ordering stuff?
I got to order my food ahead oftime on an app.
(10:42):
No, just get in line like anormal person.
And then the flip side of thatis why am I standing in line for
30 minutes for a crappyhamburger?
You know, darned if you do,darned if you don't.
Right Now, here's the one $20for a drink.
Well, that's not bad.
Actually, I like this, so it'sthe one thing he won't complain
(11:04):
about.
No, He'll complain at first andthen he'll take a sip and be
like oh okay, yeah, I could dothat.
So now rides and walking aroundmy next category.
You know he's going to complainabout everything making his
sciatica worse, the walking, therides, how he has to contort
(11:25):
his bad knee, all that stuff.
Then then it'd be like whydidn't you tell me to bring my
good shoes, my good walkingshoes?
It's gonna be your fault, right, you're gonna get him good
walking shoes, but he's gonnajust complain because he didn't
bring this other shoes.
He'd been fine if he broughtthese other shoes.
He's gonna be like I like thatcarousel of Progress and that
Hall of Presidents and theAmerican Adventure and Mr
(11:46):
Lincoln.
I like all those.
How come there can't be more ofthose rides, those attractions?
Speaker 1 (11:50):
He's not wrong.
No, I like this guy.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Yeah, but see you know, if it's Grumpy Grandpa and
he's brought the kids, thegrandkids, teddy Roosevelt ride,
yeah, we need a Teddy Rooseveltride.
You know, and if you take themto shows, why are they always
singing in these shows?
They can't act, obviously,right, they're just singing
(12:13):
nonstop.
Bunch of no-talent hacks.
You know, half the rides justmake him sick.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You know.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
And then he can't find his Tums, wow.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
He's having a bad day too.
He doesn't like Disneyland.
He's having a bad day.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Anything to complain about, right?
Grumpy old man.
So think about this If you'rebringing a grumpy old man, this
is your warning guide there'sabsolutely no shade anywhere.
You're just out in the sun allday.
Right, you know they.
Right, you know they couldbuild a bench with a little
umbrella over it if they wantedto.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
They just don't want to.
Just don't want to.
They want to do this.
Then there's the whole I paid150 to get in.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
now I have to pay extra to go on rides.
Multi-pass, single pass right,talked about that.
Why do I need to get up at 6 amif the park opens at 9 am?
So grumpy old man, he doesn'tbelieve in your weird philosophy
of rope dropping, no, andhaving to be.
And I thought about this.
I understand it.
So you got to go get in line anhour early.
(13:13):
Oh yeah, I get in line an hourearly for well, maybe 45 minutes
early for Skyliner.
If I'm going to Disney World oh,disney World At Pop Century
minutes early for Skyliner.
If I'm going to Disney World oh, disney World At Pop Century
and I was thinking of that tripcoming up 45 minutes, and that
gets me once everything getsgoing, I get and then I go stand
in line for security and thenthey take us inside and then I
(13:34):
stand in line to wait for theride.
I've literally waited for likean hour and a half so that I
don't have to wait, or two hoursso that I don't have to wait an
hour in line later.
Yeah, but it just, it makessense for a Disney person.
When you put it that way it's awhole different.
So you know, grumpy old man andthe weather.
Why is it so hot, humid, cold,rainy, windy, any of them, right
(13:57):
?
Whatever the weather is, he'sgoing to complain.
Yeah, and that's just it.
Speaker 1 (14:02):
He's right, he's not wrong on any of those.
It's always one of those thingsin both coasts.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
Yeah.
So why would Walt Disney builda park in Central Florida?
Swamp snakes, gators, hot,humid, what's he thinking?
Hurricanes every once in awhile.
Stupid Walt Disney, grumpy oldman should have been in
minnesota.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
That's a good state yeah nothing.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
Nothing bad happens in minnesota build it in
arkansas you know very fewtornadoes in uh in arkansas.
Well, maybe there are a lot, Idon't know there's there
probably is so I paid 150.
It's always going to come back.
I paid $150 for this, $150 perday to have all the rides closed
(14:47):
because of a little rain.
So it's raining to close therides?
Well, that's just stupid.
Do I get a refund, Right?
Refunds, grumpy old man.
I have to carry around anumbrella and a poncho all day
and maybe not need them.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
But I still still gotta haul these stupid things
around.
I gotta carry a backpack taut,humid, rainy, windy, back, sweat
, and I yeah, now I got theshape of my backpack on my shirt
in the with sweat.
You know it's 7 am and italready feels like we're walking
around on the face of the sun.
It does does, depending on themonth.
(15:22):
Yeah, it's beautiful, isn't it?
I've had one morning of all thedays I've gone.
So I've gone in November, april, may and twice in September to
Disney World, and now I'm goingin June.
I've had one chilly, slightlychilly morning out of all of
(15:42):
those, right, and it was onlychilly because I was in the
Skyliner and the wind wasblowing in there.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
Yeah, so we're going next week and I've had this
conversation with many people Iwork with.
They say it's so hot there, howcan you stand the heat?
And for some reason, when Iopened that door and we both
wear glasses- yeah.
When you open the door to yourhotel room, your glasses fog up.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
And in 0.2 seconds you have a gleam of sweat over
your whole body, under yourclothes.
Yeah, and for some reason it'sone of the most amazing feelings
in the world to me.
Yeah, Because I know where I'mgoing next.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Exactly, it doesn't matter.
I just I take it doesn't matter, I just I take a deep breath
and said here we go, drink thoseelectrolytes and good to go.
Okay, so that's all the travel.
So last one okay, that's mylast category is on travel,
uh-oh just that can't be goodcategories related to travel.
So, first of all, five hundreddollars per night for a hotel
(16:37):
room, right for perks.
What the heck are perks?
What I can get into the parkearlier.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
I don't want to get into the park earlier yeah, he
could play more, though, if hestayed at all-star yeah, he's
gonna have to how far we sit.
A value hotel, he'd say any ofthem.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
He would play more about something because he would
love key west and that's as faraway from the parks as you get
it is, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
But it's where our boys would stay.
It's, yeah, it's where the goodold boys stay Sipping a smoked
turkey Right, having my cigar soperks.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Can't believe I have to go to the airport at 5 am to
catch a flight to a place Idon't want to go.
Bad enough, I got to go.
I got to catch a plane at 5am.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
I mean.
Speaker 2 (17:24):
I gotta get up at Like 3.30 in the morning.
Whose stupid idea was that?
Speaker 1 (17:26):
Christy's gonna listen to this.
This doesn't come out for aleave, because we leave at 5am.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Christy's not a grumpy old man?
Speaker 1 (17:32):
She's not.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I mean hardly any of this applies to Does she
identify as a grumpy old man?
No, christy, do you identify asa grumpy old man?
Speaker 1 (17:41):
I mean, and everything you're saying, I
think the only thing that hitsChristy is the no shade thing.
Yeah, that's the only thingthat's even close to how she.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Well, she's fair skinned Right.
Speaker 1 (17:52):
It's a legit thing with her.
It's fair, it's fair.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
Yes, fair argument For fair skin.
Did you get her?
Speaker 1 (18:02):
parasol.
Well, I've got her things shedoesn't Like.
I got her this awesome hat.
They sell at Adventureland, atthat little store across, right,
so they're like Adventureland,indiana Jones.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Very shady hat.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
Women's hat yes, Right, like something like
Audrey Hepburn would wear.
Oh, one of those big old things, it's really cool looking.
She forgot it last time we went.
Oh, one of those big old things, it's really cool looking.
She forgot it last time we went.
Oh, I have, she has the.
I got her the towels, thecooling towels.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
I have those, yeah, the fan the little portable fan.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
And she doesn't use them enough.
I don't think Ah.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
I mean she'll pay to differ.
Well, we just power through,but are you bringing your
umbrellas and ponchos and allthat?
Yeah, I gotta, I gotta get herumbrella.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
still, you do we have to order that right when we get
down this.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
That would be good for walking around to be in the
shade yeah, because she.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
She acted the other day like we could share an
umbrella if it pours down.
Right, we cannot share anumbrella.
She's never well you could juststand still in a loving embrace
well, yeah, in flor in Floridayou can share an umbrella
because you just dart to thenearest.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
Right Florida in general, but at Disney you can't
just get undercover reallyquick.
All the time you have to havethe umbrella.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
And there's not enough for 30,000 people.
Right, there's not enoughcovered areas.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
No.
So you're, it's raining inFlorida, yeah, and the heat in
California.
Speaker 2 (19:28):
You know grumpy old man Something blasted on me all
day long.
What do you mean?
There's not enough room to packmy slip-on shoes.
What am I going to do at TSA?
He might have to take off hisshoes, so don't tell him he
can't bring his slip-ons.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
Don't tell him.
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Pack the comfy shoes in the bag and then let him wear
his slip-ons to the airport sothat he can get through that TSA
quickly.
Okay, last thing he's going tosay why not take the red eye?
It'll save $100 per ticket andwe don't have to pay for another
night in a hotel.
We'll just get in there at 7 am, go straight to the parks.
(20:01):
Save us all that money.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Well, I'm pro for that.
I'm pro that if you're close,not flying across the country,
not flying across the country.
So for us, where we live in thePacific Northwest, disneyland
is a great early morning.
I go first day every time I flyin.
Yeah, Because I agree with thatstatement the grumpy old man.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
It's 10 o'clock.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Right, you get there about 10 am, you're in the park
around 10 am.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
But see, but see that .
Right, that makes sense.
I went at it from a differentangle because I was actually
contemplating doing that todisney world.
You were.
That was stupid that's justdumb to fly six, seven hours go
for a day park all day and thenfly home and then fly home to
use my one free day I would needa week off of work so I'd lose
(20:46):
so much money because it was Ihad to use all my vacation for
one day at disney like how muchwas eli's january ticket?
it was like 230 bucks.
Yeah, round trip, right fordirect flight.
But actually that wasn't themost convenient flight for the
red eye plan I would have to flyin the day, I believe the day
right.
He had to stop yeah so anyway,that's all so all my ideas for
(21:09):
what grumpy old man wouldcomplain about?
Speaker 1 (21:11):
Right.
So you went with kind of apartner's view of a grumpy old
man.
Yeah Right, what I went was Iwent more like if you're a dad,
okay Right, you're a dad thatdoesn't like Disney, your wife's
totally into Disney, yeah, andyou're going.
I've known some people likeyou're going, but you don't want
to yeah but you're still goingto disney right, oh yeah I came
(21:32):
with a few ideas of what youcould do with the parks to make
it more fun okay so mine's more.
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Mine's more about barreling through yeah, so
getting into this is going backto the prepping.
A grumpy old man for disneylike being ready.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
Right, this is.
This is personal.
I'm being ready, though this isif my partner has nothing to do
with what I'm doing.
Okay, this is me.
I'm the grunt, I'm the grumpyguy, grumpy dad, pretty much the
guy that's wearing that shirtout of spite.
This says most expensivevacation ever, okay, okay.
So my first one is escaperoutes.
Get away from the crowds at theenchanted tiki room, country
(22:09):
bears hall of presidents as muchas you can.
Go into all the air-conditionedplaces as much as possible.
Well, you just sit there.
You don't have to pay attentionto it if you don't want to
you're just sitting in airconditioning yeah like you can
go on.
You can go to hall of presidentslike two or three times during
the time you're there and justsit there and just sit.
Look at your phone in the backbecause I'm, because I don't
(22:30):
want to be here anyway, right?
Speaker 2 (22:32):
yeah, we've all seen that person that's on their
phone the whole time I actuallywatched a video and it was a
contest of who could go, andthis is after like a long day of
being at disney who could gothe most amount of times to the
American Adventure in a rowwithout falling asleep.
You're walking out in the hotsun all day, I'm all in that
(22:55):
challenge, and then you sitthere and you have to stay awake
.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
How many times could you do Carousel of Progress in a
row?
Could you just spin around?
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I could go a lot Because I would look at
different stuff the whole time.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
Okay, yeah, those are good ideas.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
I know.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
If I lived in Southern California, or if we
both lived in SouthernCalifornia at the same time.
That'd be a good challenge.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
Who could do something over and over and over
again?
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Yeah, we'd both pick a ride like Tiki Room all day,
no other rides.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
That would be a good one.
I wonder if they'd let you juststay in the tiki room.
I don't know.
You could probably ask themWithout being kicked out.
Speaker 1 (23:34):
You'd have to go.
I would want to leave and comeback in.
Just keep running around.
Yeah, I would leave every time,just to get that break.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yeah, Because that would be a lot.
That would be.
I love the tiki room.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
That is one of my must do's.
I do, it's a must do.
But is it a must do, do, do, do.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
I don't know, I don't think I've ever done it more
than like twice in a day and notconcurrent.
I've never done it twice in aday.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I think I may have once really, I've only done it
once in a day.
I do it most days.
I didn't last time.
We did it when we went with eliand christy, but when I was
with Eli's graduating class, wemissed it that day.
I missed it that day.
Eli went.
Okay.
So my second one.
Yeah, snacks, lots of snacks,snacks.
Sitting down for meals is great, but snacks can take random
(24:21):
time away.
If you have lots of differentsnacks, yeah, you can try them.
Stand there and eat them,nibble on the snack.
Speaker 2 (24:28):
To get through the day.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
To get through the day.
You just have a random, like achurro here, a Mickey ice cream
bar here, right, maybe, ifyou're a little hungry or a
little pizza, flop over Somepopcorn, some popcorn.
Just random snacks all day long.
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Taking time.
I'm just wasting time.
Yeah, I'm getting through thisday.
Yep, right, they're doing.
They're doing the teacups.
I'm having a pretzel.
Okay, right, right, yeah, youguys go on that, right, I'll
just go and pretzel, I'll beright there actually, if they're
on the teacups, you can go geta chimichanga, all right yeah,
dj would have two.
He would have two.
Slip away from your family togo on single rider lines by
(25:07):
yourself.
Say, oh, I gotta go to thebathroom real quick, I'll be
right back space mountain singlerider line a grumpy old man
would do that no this is dad.
This, this is more.
I want more of the take of adad trying to get the time away,
get okay, right, he doesn'twant to be in there, he doesn't
want to become grumpy.
Right, he's got the kids allaround him.
What can I do to make my partdance?
Speaker 2 (25:29):
That's the more of the take, I went with.
Okay, right, that's a good take.
Yeah, this is good advice.
All across the board, preppingfor your part dance yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Hey guys, yeah, hey guys.
I got to go real quick.
I got to get the water too,though you can't not have water.
Yeah, yeah, yeah or I drink itall the way here.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Yeah, that would be where you stash a cup into your
backpack or something and thenjust randomly fill it somewhere
when you come back and just belike oh, I finished it up, right
, this takes a little prepping,because you have to know what
the single rider lines arebefore you go.
And which ones will get youback somewhat quickly.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Right, and you got to be ready.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
Anytime where the kids are starting to cry a
little bit and they needsomething.
Yeah Right, oh, I got to go tothe bathroom.
Oh man, oh.
Speaker 2 (26:28):
Oh, my stomach, that chimichanga really got me.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Those berries tacos went right through me right, so
your wife's gonna want to take alot of pictures yes all right,
your goal and you're taking itas fun.
She's gonna take it as she'sgonna be mad at you for doing
this, but you're just having funtoo.
Yeah, it's your time.
You make a grumpy face everypicture.
Yeah, like the, I don't want tobe here.
(26:51):
Face Ooh.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Like the sad frowdy face, Like the nine-year-old boy
face.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Yeah, every single picture, the whole entire trip,
the same exact pose, and youpractice it before you go.
Yeah, so you get the same exactpose in front of the castle.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
Here's me and Mickey, me and a princess.
That's good, yeah, every timethat fits along the lines of
just screw it up and you'llnever be asked to do it again.
Like the job, right there'sthat.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
There's, that's a good one.
Yeah, that they won't ask youback to disney after this.
And then, when they talk aboutit years later, you said well, I
had fun yeah, yeah, I had atotal blast right we expect me
not to have fun.
Is that what you wanted?
What gave you the impression?
Yeah, did you want?
Speaker 2 (27:40):
a fake smile.
What gave you the impression ofhaving fun?
Right memories, yeah memories.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
You're still talking about it.
If I would have smiled, youwouldn't talk about this picture
ever.
Yeah, now they have thesefrowny faces.
You bring it up all the timewe're discussing.
The pictures sneak away, soyour whole plan of the day is to
find the perfect hiding spotyeah so you're walking around
the park all day, like you walkaround the park meaninglessly
all day long, right you're justgoing to stupid rides with the
(28:08):
kids and your wife.
They want to go to small world.
Yeah right, you think that'slame because you're you're
actually smarter than them, andthen so so what you do is you
sneak away and you make it agame, trying to find the perfect
spot to hide, just casually say, hey kids, is that cinderella?
And then when they look, youwalk the other way, you just
(28:30):
walk right.
They're like where's dad at?
You're looking around, you got10, 15 minutes.
Yeah, I lost you.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
There's a whole crowd , there's so many people.
I couldn't see you guys.
I, I stood still and you walkedoff.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Right, you just blame them oh look, is the parade
starting, and then just go quick, quick run and get a spot.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
You can get Breda Springs and Space Mountain there
.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
And then just oh, they rerouted us.
I couldn't make it to your spot.
They rerouted us, so I couldn'tactually walk down that street.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
I know that's a true fact.
They do that Right.
Couldn't actually walk downthat street, I know.
Speaker 2 (29:09):
That's a true fact.
They do that Right.
I ended up on Guardians in theother park.
I ended up sitting down forfried chicken at Plaza Inn.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
I don't know why I'm back in the hotel pool.
That was weird.
The crowd was crazy.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Yeah, I ended up in the Disneyland hotel pool, I
thought, well, I'm not sure whatI'm doing because I'm not real
experienced at Disney World orDisneyland, so I just followed
the crowd Right and I ended upback in the hotel room.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Right.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
I ended up at Trader Sam's, and now I'm at Trader
Sam's.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
I don't know what.
I'm my third drink already.
Yeah, what's going on here?
Speaker 2 (29:50):
I'm confused, wife, so please help.
That's just going back tosurvival training.
So if you're ever lost in thewoods, don't wander around, stay
put.
So if you're if you're a manand you're you've lost your
family in disneyland.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Just find a lounge and stay put right, stay put the
nearest lounge they'll find youand just order drink after
drink until they find you.
Yeah, that's the only way tosurvive.
It's the only good advice.
It is you can.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Tragedy could befall you if you don't follow that
right.
That is yeah, that.
Even that almost goes withoutsaying.
Right, just find a lounge andorder a drink and sit down yeah
and you'll be found and saved.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
So your family's going to want to go on these
rides, right?
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Small World is the main one that comes to my mind,
because you know me, yeah, right, it has a stupid song that you
don't like.
Uh-huh, right.
But just on these rides youdon't like, say you don't like
Tiana's, you don't like the song, right.
Or you don't want to get wet,you don't like the song.
Yeah, that too.
Or wet, yeah, you don't likethe songs on all these rides
they have, right.
So you make up your own beforeyou go.
(30:53):
Hmm, so imagine driving.
I mean, I'm going to do this ifI'm ever forced to go on.
I got to start working on thisnow, so I can do this if I ever
have to go on Small World again.
Like if I have grandkidssomeday and they really want to
go on Small World.
You make up your own lyrics andsong to the ride and you sing
it very loudly as you go along,yes.
(31:14):
Right.
Just imagine an ACDC version ofSmall World.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
I like that Little Brian Johnson, yeah, just
rocking through.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Small World Different lyrics.
Yeah, just with the same tune,but all different lyrics.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Yeah, just.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Metallica right.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Well, that's.
The challenge is to come upwith different lyrics that fit.
That fit the tune.
Each musician Right and style,yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
That sounds fun.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I might do that in my head anyway.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
And I have one last one okay, the drinks, the drinks
.
Disney has lots of drinks theydo.
Your goal is to try as many asyou can.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
Yes, that's, that's the main goal, but you can't be
inebriated no, you have to, youhave to although if you got
kicked out of disneyland andyou're like a lifetime ban,
you've solved your problem.
That's a personal choice.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to gothat route.
No, even if I didn't likeDisneyland, I don't think I'd
want to go that route.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
No, you don't want to be inebriated.
That would make you want to goback, though, if you haven't
tried all the drinks.
Speaker 2 (32:21):
Yeah, if you're drink-focused, it could be a
great trip so you know, here'sthe thing about the alcohol, the
adult beverages, is that if yougo that route, I you know what.
I think I'm just reallydehydrated.
I need to go back to the hotel.
I, those drinks just made mereally, really dehydrated and I
(32:44):
didn't bring my electrolytepackets with me.
Always leave your electrolytepackets back in the hotel room,
right, if you know you don'twant to be there, then you have
an excuse to go back.
I need to go and drink thosequickly.
What you get?
A Gatorade, no, that's not thesame.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
I left my electrolytes at Trader Sam's.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
I left my electrolytes at Trader Sam so
that's.
That's all I have, okay I thinkwe've got people well prepped I
yeah, in both ways.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
Yeah, either surviving the day or helping
your spouse survive the day.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, or your or your gram or your dad and also
knowing how, recognizing thesigns of what they get, what
they're complaining about, orthey complain about one of those
things, oh oh, I might have agrumpy old man, right?
I don't know if it's possibleto have a grumpy old woman.
You could have a karen, maybethat's our next episode?
Speaker 1 (33:34):
I don't know.
I mean, there probably has tobe karen in the parks.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
I don't know, we've got to do it.
I don't know who the.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
I don't know who the what?
The research of grumpy oldwomen at the parks?
Karen in the parks, they justwant to go.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
I think they're the ones they're walking up with
their Bob haircut.
Tell him, mickey, they want tospeak to his manager.
I think that's where the solotrip was invented, it could be.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
I don't know, but anyway, yeah, Thanks for
listening to us today andremember the.
The final thing is trial thedrinks, trial the drinks.
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