October 6, 2025 • 31 mins
He lied, he gaslit, he ghosted — then turned around and called you crazy. Oh baby, she ain’t crazy… she’s just reacting to your inconsistency. In this solo episode, Stormy Pea talks men, money, gym surprises, and why “provider energy” is more than throwing cash. Pour up, — we unpacking it all!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
What's up, beautiful people, It's your girls story.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Repeat and welcome back to another episode of Chocolate Chip
and Sip. Y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Just a soft girl living her soft life, doing soft
girl things.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Okay, and you know what, this episode is gonna be
a little bit of chaos. Yeah, it's gonna be a
little bit of chaos. So you know, grab your cup,
grab your sanity, you know what. Let's just get into
it before I get mad all over again.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
If you're watch it on YouTube, you're like, why are
you just so nice and you're so angry?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Because I'm tired. I'm tired of this, Grandpa. Okay, I
just wanna come off to get hot.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Stop calling women crazy when you made them that way. Yeah,
it's gonna be one of those episodes. Stop calling women
crazy when you made them that way. You're inconsistency, you're gaslighting,
you're lying.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
She gets it from you. I get it from you, Dad, Okay,
it's you.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I really hate when I run into a guy and
he tell me, yeah, you know, last three girls I
talked to, they was crazy. It's only one common denominator here, Poppy.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Okay, and it's you. You are the common denominator. You
made her that way.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You built this Frankenstein of emotions, and now you're scared
because she didne got.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Out the lab. Not that was your, big Dog, You
created that monster. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Crazy ain't a personality trait. It's a reaction to your confusion.
So every time you run into somebody and they say, oh,
the last few people I dated was crazy, it's only
one of two things. Number one, they are the mental
asylum that keeps attracting the crazy folk. Or number two,
they got a bad picker, which kind of backs up
(01:44):
option number one if you think about it.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
So, yeah, I'm cool, big Dog. I'm cool.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
God bless good Luckily your journey. God bless that. One's
not for me, not at all. I hate when a
man gas like you so bad and hit you with
the wow. So you went through my phone, No, baby,
I went through my intuition and it told me.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
To go through your phone.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Okay, But I just want to say, for the record,
I do not recommend going through phones. Please, ladies, I know,
I know it's so tempting. It just be sitting there
and he's sitting there. Don't do that. Don't do that,
don't do that. Please save yourself to hurt.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Take it from me. You don't want her joel feelings.
It's not worth it. But yeah, they love to act loss.
Why you acting like that?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I'm acting like that because the last twelve things you
did triggered the twenty eighteen in me.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, before I went to go talk to the lady.
All right, and we're in this.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Constant battle and both of us just decided we ain't
gonna battle. No, mo, the battle is now yours. It's
not the lords, it's yours.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
If you keep making me question my sanity, don't be
mad when I start showing symptoms. Word of advice. Stop
making people crazy and then calling them crazy. You made
them that way. Speaking of showing symptoms, uh, let's talk
about the level of delulu that is actually.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Self love self appreciation.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, yeah, I think in order to practice, if not master,
self love, you have to have some level of Deluluh.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
So let me ask you a question. Would you date you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
No, no, no, don't don't just give you the don't
give me the knee jerk reaction of duh.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Of course, I would honestly think about it.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Think about the way you move, think about the way
you communicate, think about the effort that you put out,
think about what you're looking for, and then ask yourself,
would you date you?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I mean me personally, I'd get me pregnant on a
first date.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
But that's just me, right, Okay, baby, I would sit
my fine ass down for nine months with the quickness.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Okay, but that's just me.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I communicate, Okay, I reciprocate, Okay, I cook, Okay, I
look good and bad lighting.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
The reason is they just they just keep going, right.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I'm not joking me personally, I would wife me before
the appetizer hit the table.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Okay, what and is she know how to have a
good conversation? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, that's my wife. ChIL your chill, that's my wife.
That's my wife right there. On a serious note, I mean,
let's be real, half of y'all would not date yourselves.
You want consistency, but you suck at texting back?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
What am I being consistent too? The thought of a
good conversation, I'll.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Pass no, thank you, No moss, I'm getting ready for
a bad bunny. No, moss, I don't even think that's
the right.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Way to say.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
But no, man, honestly, I really would like all of
you to like take a second and think, like, would
you date you? We gotta stop saying, oh, men are
so intimidated by me, baby.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
You'd be intimidated by you too.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Look at the way you're acting okay, And I think
the same thing goes for men like you just don't
know good men when you see it. Apparently you don't
either because you ain't acting like it. So here we are, here,
we are at your selves. Would you date you? I
mean me me personally, I'd risk it all. But would
(05:20):
you date you? Or would you ghost you?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Fair question?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Speaking of confidence, I'd like to talk about one of
my new found favorite activities and one of the places
I have the most confidence at the gym. I've reached
this point in my life where I think I'm addicted
to the gym, and part of one of the rewards
from that is not just body tea right. The other
(05:48):
reward is I love dating men who go to the gym.
And I don't mean just go to the gym. I
love meeting and man at the gym and then we
go on a first date.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
He realized I'm a baddy.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Oh you thought I was a bum because I'd be
at the gym looking like Adam Sandler. No, no, I'm
a battie for real.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I'm a baddie for real. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, you thought I was a bum because I'd be
at the gym looking like Tyrone Biggum's Okay, my mouth
be white from the pre workout.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Sometimes I'm just joking.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
You thought I was a bum because I be at
the gym dressed crazy, sweaty, doing my thing, dizzill gnaw baby.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Don't let this band dann A fool you.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Okay, I take this band then off and go from
the Undertaker to trust Stratus real fast, okay, real fast.
I just love seeing a man face light up when
he first see me when we get to the establishment.
Yeah yeah, that step back where you like jomp back
a little bit and your eyes opened up, like, oh
you're really pretty.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah I know. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I look better when I don't look like a Hershey's
bar that you left in your pocket and it got
all melty. That's what I look like when I be sweating,
So like when I get dressed, I look nice. But yeah,
I love to take me in by surprise. I think
this all goes to the duality of a woman. But
I think my duality isn't really balanced because I really
(07:21):
be in the gym, like benching and doing stuff that
most women don't do. So it really did be taking
people by surprise when they meet me on the first date.
But it's like, no, baby, you thought I was bench pressing.
Sadness not a self esteem nigga. No, but yeah, don't
don't underestimate a woman in her bandana era like felas
(07:42):
if you see a girl at the gym and you
know you feel like she might be throwing you vibes, like,
don't just think she's one package.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Remember you're seeing her at her worst.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Which is also a thing that I like, Like I
like meeting guys at the gym because you see me
at my worst.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
You see me with no makeup on, You see me, you.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
See my edges not laid, Like is this something you
can get jiggy with?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Is this something you can wake up to?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Cause like when I try, I look nice, but you're
seeing me at my bare minimum. Like I hate when
those guys be like, oh, I'm gona take a groul
to the pool and no, get your fat ass in
the gym.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Meet her at the gym. How about that? How about that.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, if you want to see a woman in her
rarest most pure form.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Meet her at the gym. But I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
The ugliest places people see me the gym target before
the boycott target, and the maintenance man. Oh that, nigga.
I know the maintenance man and my next door neighbor
that they have seen me look like I'm fresh out
or fresh off. Shot sees me pretty ugly too, but
(08:50):
I feel like it bounces out because Shot sees me
when I try a lot too, so that he probably
sees the most duality.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
But yeah, that's it. I digress.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Speaking of delusions, some of y'a ain't gonna like this
next one, and I don't give a fuck. I'm so
sick and tired of these dear wifey posts. Oh my god,
Oh my god, I'm so sick of every time I
open up my phone it's some handsome ass nigga, what
(09:21):
a body like a Greek god talking about.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Do your wife fee? And you want a fund man? Pus?
But shut the fuck up, Shut up.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Ain't nobody trying to hear all that the entire female
population is competing for the same eight men, and you're
trying to tell me, you can't find a wife.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Get the fuck out of here. I'm trying to hear that.
I am not trying to hear that.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I don't think you understand how it gets under my skin.
It grinds my gears. I can't stand it. These men
are lying, They are using you for click bait. Okay,
they are lying. Half of these dear wifey postmen are
already their excuses.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Okay, they know exactly what they're looking for.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
And don't get me wrong, some of them may actually
be looking for a wife. But I find it hard
to believe that with such an ample amount of fish
you cannot choose one. It's given you don't actually want
one right now, or you lack the attention that you're getting.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Either way, it's trash. These posts don't get under y'all skin?
Is it just me?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
If he really wanted a wife, he would stop performing
husbandhood duties for clicks, because that's essentially what it is. Oh,
oh my god, don't let them be dressing up a dog.
Don't let them be cooking with no shirt on.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Like who bitch? Who does? Fuck? Okay? Like, what are
we doing here? What are we doing?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I
know some of y'all gonna say, well, technically we can
say the same thing about you. You're attractive and you
be talking about finding your person.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Da da da da da.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I want to reiterate my original statement. All of women
are competing for the same eight men.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Okay. I'm just waiting for this batch to get divorced
so they can come back on a scene and be
eligible again.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Because honestly, the single men are gone at this point.
All jokes aside. I think we can acknowledge that there
is a larger number of women who have worked on
themselves and have done the work to be a good wife,
to be a good partner. Right when we compare that
to the amount of men who have gone to therapy,
(11:36):
worked on theirselves, acknowledged their flaws and acknowledged their triggers,
and honestly acknowledge what their boundaries are and learn to
enforce them in a healthy way and be emotionally intelligent
and able to communicate and be financially in a space
where he is ready to be somebody's husband. I think
we can agree that the numbers differ, yes or no, okay,
(11:59):
And if you're one of those men, who's just gonna
look me in the face and say, no, that's not
it at all. Really, How many of your friends would
you want your child to date if they were the
same age?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yeah? Yeah, like them.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Raggy ass homeboys that you'd be complaining to me about
when you be pioll talking.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yeah, how many of them?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
How many of them would you let date your daughter
if circumstances were different and they were the same age?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
None? Right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Success, dear future wayfe, I can't wait to meet you.
You didnet been to three baby showers this summer, two
engagement parties, and you go to church at least once
or twice a month. You have met nineteen wives and
ain't chose not one of them?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Why? Why stop playing on my face?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Okay, and I'm not gonna say no names, but I
know right now each of you can think of three
men that always pop up on your feed with the
same bullshit. Okay, if I handle one, I actually respect
the guy who faked having a relationship for that content
(13:08):
more than I respect these men who do the dear
wifeye content if you know you know, and it don't
even be popping up on my feed? Yes, seven, stop
reposting these niggas, which brings me to my favorite delusion
of them all. If we're gonna talk about this dear
wifey stuff, we also have to counter it with this
(13:31):
provider fantasy that seems to be going around fellas. I
got something to tell you. You might not believe it, but
I swear it's true. Being a provider does not equal money.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hear me out. Being
a provider does not equal money. I don't hold hear
(13:51):
me out. Hear me out, hear me out.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Listen. Okay, A man having money is not enough for me. Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
When I say I want a provider, I don't mean
just zell notifications nice.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Keep him grumming while they're coming, right. But it's out
her stuff too.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
That being a provider means peace, It means help, It
means strength to make it to the next hour.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Don't just throw money at me all the time. I need.
I just need.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
It's a little bit more than that, like exactly, a
little balance, a little duality, right, Like I want you
to be able to listen to me. I want you
to be able to communicate, help me problem solve, be
a soundboard. Pray for me, Pray for me because I'm
so blessed, the devil will be working. Pray for me,
(14:38):
like it's more than money. Be the kind of man
who protects her peace, not just her bills. A burkin
don't hold no emotional stability.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It's cute, though, but.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
It can't hold everything that I need in this relationship.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
It's not enough. And I know the go to is
always fellas.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Like you know, y'all always told us we needed to
PROVEM and now y'all saying money ain't enough, baby.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Provision isn't just wealth.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I feel like some of you focus so much on
the money that you didn't develop the other traits that
go into provision.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I'm not saying we don't want the money.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I'm just saying it's a little bit more than the money, right,
because we'll say things like you know, oh, well, being
a wife isn't just one thing. Being a husband and
a provider isn't just one thing. More things go into it.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Right, strengthen your craft.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I didn't pour into yourself, so you can pour into
your partner, my g peace is the new currency. If
some of y'all is broke, you can't cash up your
way into emotional stability.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
It's gonna need more than that.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
If your wife is struggling, yes, seven, If your wife
is struggling with postpartum, money ain't enough. Do you know
how to come for her? Do you know how to
show up for her when she can't show up for herself.
Just think about that. There are things more than money.
Not saying some woman don't want the money, It's just
(16:05):
more that comes along with it. All right, let's uh,
let's lay in this plane for I say something I
need to pray about later. And now we're gonna get
into one of my favorite parts of the show. Somebody
come look at this. Yeah, come on, somebody come look
at this. This is where I read stories that I
found on Reddit.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Most of the time.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
We have a theme today, we just gonna bounce around.
I just found some that I thought were hilarious and
I wanted to get you guys take on it. And
I'm not gonna lie. I feel like I want to
have to start reading from my phone because I posted
a clip of me just reading from the screen and
everyone thought I was talking about myself and the clip
and everybody was like, but you don't like like skin
(16:46):
and you're not smart okay, because I'm obviously reading something.
I even put the words at the bottom of the
screen from the actual post. But you know what, I digress.
Come on, let's get into their story. Sorry allergies, Sorry y'all.
Am I the asshole for respecting my boyfriend's boundaries even
though his friends think I should have fought for him.
(17:08):
All right, let's get into it, Hi, Reddit, I, twenty
two female, need some perspective on a situation that happened
last week, but it's still bothering me today. My boyfriend,
twenty two male, and I have been together for six
years and we casually community. I'm sorry, and we usually
communicate really well. Last week I went to join him
in bed like I usually do, but he stopped me.
(17:30):
He told me he wanted to sleep alone for the
rest of the week and asked if I could respect that.
I let me. Let me keep reading. I'm gonna keep reading.
I was a little surprised, but I just said okay
and went downstairs to the guest room to sleep.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
You know, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I didn't argue a pushback because I wanted to honor
his boundaries.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I respect that. All right.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
This goes into the conversation we were just having as far
as you know, being able to provide and show for
your partner outside of money.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
If he's saying he's struggling and he needs some space,
I don't know. If he needs space because of a
Chipotle bowl, something that happened at work, I don't know.
But if he says he needs space, she wanted to
give him the space.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I can respect that.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Since then, I've been hearing from his friends that I
failed to test. Oh buddy, Oh, I hate you type
of niggas. I hate you type of niggas. Don't you
ever in your life try to put me through a test,
because I'm gonna fail every time. Intentionally, I'm intentionally gonna fail.
Who the fuck do you think you are? Don't put
me through no test. That's not your job. Okay, that's
(18:41):
God's job.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Okay. And for whatever reason, he think, oh, one of
his stronger soldiers. And we're still working that out. But
let me tell you something. Don't you ever try to
test me.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I hate these type of people because it always turns
into a manipulation tactic. Right, so it says apparently his
friend groups sometimes does the.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Did not.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Okay, Apparently, his friend groups sometimes does these little scenarios
where they test the partners to see if they would
fight for them if the relationship weren't in trouble. Boy,
you had to say, not only is he a bitch,
he's surrounded by bitches and that's why they think this
type of behavior is cool.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Ain't no way, ain't no way, ain't no way.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Now, what if she decided to go out there and
suck some dick to test you and see if you
was gonna be able to fight through that?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Oh oh, now, to test the tuote street? Now she
doing too much?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
What type of person would do something like that to
the person that they love?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Now?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
What if she would have went in her prayer closet
and got her prayer oil and started praying over you,
interceding for you on your behalf for what reason?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Nothing? Because it's something you and your little friends.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Like to do.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Uh uh m m mmmmmmmm.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
According to them, other partners jump into these situations insisting
on staying, arguing or defending their partners in some way,
but just respecting his requests. I supposedly showed that I
wouldn't fight for him if something went wrong.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
That's not even what took place. This woman could be.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Ready to catch her charge for you, but she knows
how much you value your mental stability. So if you're
saying you need space, she wanted to respect that, and
you took it as she failed a task because she
wouldn't fight for you.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Ain't no way.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Even today, a week later, it's still being brought up.
His friends keep talking about it when he's around, making
comments like wow, she just let you sleep alone, and
it's been making me feel guilty. It would make me
feel like I need to fuck every single one of
his friends.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
All we talk about fail and tests. I don't failed that.
I might as well fail all of them. Right, Oh, oh,
now I'm the bad guy. Now now I'm the bad guy. No,
y'all want to play games, right.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, And ain't
no way. I would be around his friends and they're
talking about this. First of all, I definitely would have
went to him like, hey, got it cool, don't ever
do that again.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I don't feel comfortable. It made me feel very vulnerable.
Tighten up.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
For you not to then relay that to your friends
and them to have the audacity the comfortability to where
they can just talk about that in my face, like
I ain't shit.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Do you know? The Lord is still working on me?
Do you know? Do you know? Because I don't think
you do.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Y'all all here just making fun of me and make
it seem like I don't leave, leave, I can sleep
in the guest room. You can leave, yeah, because y'all
think it's funny, right, Okay. I tried to explain that
respecting his boundaries is a way of supporting and caring
for him, but they insist that the right reaction would
have been to pushback or are you for the relationship.
(21:53):
This is why I say you have to date people
who have the same values as you because on what
her upbringing was, right, she might not have grown up
in chaos, she might not have grown up in trauma,
So her respecting your boundaries is the appropriate response. Now,
if you would to a girl from North Philly, her
response might have been to knock you upside your head.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
With a can of grits.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
But no, okay, her response might have been a knock
you upside your hand with a pot of grits because
you think she playing with you? Yes, so Shad said,
did she say that it was something that made him
feel like the relationship was in trouble for him to
(22:36):
want to.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Do the test. No, you didn't miss that part. It
was never said.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
He just decided things are going so well, let me
test this bitch and see if she gonna fight for me.
That's what happened. That's what happened. My boyfriend hasn't really
defended me in front of his friends. Yes, Sis, leave
since that I gang yeah, bruh, bruh. He said something
like you did what I am, which is fine, but
(23:01):
I guess they expected a different reaction.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I'm confused.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Don't you want all these women to be submissive and
to follow.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Because you're a good leader. So if the leader tells.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Me he needs space and I follow, how does this
now somehow turn and say I'm not willing to fight
for my relationship okay, okay, which he says, which left
me feeling even more stuck. I feel like I'm being
criticized for doing what I thought was mature, a supportive thing,
respecting him and his wishes. Yet apparently that counts as
not fighting for him. So am I the asshole here?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Girl? Know you are not the asshole? Leave that man?
Leave his funky ass chicken flock of friends.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Okay, I have never in all my day.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
My flabbers are gasted. What do you mean? What do
you mean? I tell y'all all the time.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I did not spend all this money on therapy to
be stuck in situations like this.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Hell no, hell no. My partner told me something.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I respected their wishes, and now he feels like I'm
not gonna fight for him.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Maybe being singling so bad because at least I don't
got to deal with stuff like this.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
It's really your boyfriend not defending you in front of
his friends. That's the part that's taking me back. While
he letting them make fun of you. Sis, Why he
letting them play in your face? And he not even
like telling them like yo, hill man, all right, y'all
it's over. He not even stopping it. He not even
letting him know the joke is done, Like you have
(24:36):
expressed your discomfort and he's not even backing you up.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Oh okay, all right, y'all. Next one.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
This would have had me a little confused. I felt
like maybe I miss some things.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Y'all. Let me know if y'all miss some things.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
And yeah, we're gonna start right at the title, my
boyfriend still has dating apps but talks about the future
with me.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Right off the back, I'm.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Gonna say, how how those two things don't even go together?
High redded I thirty seven have been seeing this guy
Mail thirty two for three years now, and honestly, I'm
feeling really confused about where I stand in this relationship.
You got a five year gap, five years of confusion
(25:24):
right off the back.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
But let me get back to it.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
It says, on one hand, he's always the one who
brings up conversations about our future. He talked about marriage,
having kids, and even how my plans might factor into
his own life decisions. Sometimes it really feels like he's
waiting on me to figure out what I want so
he can shape his future around it. These talks have
(25:47):
felt serious and intentional, like he genuinely sees me in
his long term plans. But on the other hand, he
still has dating apps. And I'm just gonna stop right here,
because this is the part that.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I don't get.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Baby, like, yeah, you're in danger. Why he still got
dating apps? And I would have rather you tell me like,
oh he still got bumble? Maybe he looking for friends?
You can select friends.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Can guys select look for friends on Bumble? Or is
that just a okay? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Maybe he still had meet up on his phone because
you would to meet up and get new friends. Okay, cool,
but dating apps? We're in a relationship. Why do you
still have hinge on your phone? But we are in
a relationship. Why do you still have hinge on your phone?
It says, I've seen the notifications.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
He don't even got his notifications off.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
This nigga's bold. Bruh, I'm not the jealous type you
should be.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Ever since, I can't take it. I can't take it,
She says, I'm not the jealous type.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
But it makes me think like maybe he thinks there
may be better women out there him. And despite our
three years together, he's never openly admitted to anyone that
we're in a relationship girl, not at work, not to
his friends, at least not that I know of. It
makes me feel like I'm the secret chapter of his life.
Y'all been together for three years and you ain't been
(27:17):
to one company holiday party. Y'all been together for three
years and you ain't been to one Thanksgiving dinner. Y'all
been together three years, and he ain't made one hard
or soft launch photo of y'all now see. At first,
I was saying this guys like, you know a pos
But baby.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
It seems like you may be two.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
You're treating yourself very poorly here, But I'm gonna get
through it.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
We got a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Meanwhile, he often asks me if I'm committed to him,
which just adds to the confusion. How can someone talk
about marriage and kids one day and still keep dating
apps the next?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Have you met a man?
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (28:01):
You never met a man before? Okay? Got it?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
No?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
No, no, how school? I just I.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Figured for the way you ask that you've never met
a man? Okay, it says, to be honest. Part of
my insecurity here comes from my age. I know I'm
not in my twenties anymore, and I sometimes worry about
whether I can even have kids at this point. So
when he talks about wanting to marry me and have
a family, it's both touching and terrifying. I don't know
(28:25):
if I can give him that, and I don't know
if he's actually serious or just idealize. In some future
version of us, you do know the answer to that,
because you do know that you're thirty seven. Y'all been
talking for three years and there's still no talk of
marriage or kids. Seriously, right, That's one of the reasons
why I say I like to date men that want
(28:45):
kids and want marriage. I'm gonna tell you why. When
men have the ideal set of, oh, I'll have him
if my wife wants it, it's not a sense of
urgency for them.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
If it happens, it happens. If it don't, it don't right.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Whereas if you have a man who wants those things,
he's going to be planning and actively moving towards those things.
Ain't gonna be no three year gap. And we had
to peel on a stick, not once. We ain't gonna
ring shopping, not once. Yeah, no, no, no, no. I
really care about him. But after three years, these mixed
(29:16):
signals are starting to take a real emotional toll. I
don't know if he's just confused, emotionally immature keeping his
options open, or if I'm the one overthinking everything. Has
anyone been in a similar situation? How do you even
start this kind of conversation without pushing someone away? Any
honest advice will be greatly appreciated. Let's start from the beginning.
(29:39):
Y'all have been together for three years and he still
hasn't introduced you to anyone as his girlfriend. He'll see
you as somebody who's special to him, but you're not
that special one to him, which is why he still
has the dating apps. And honestly, you got to ask yourself,
all these behaviors that he's displaying, is that something that
I want and my future husband do I want my
(30:01):
future husband to not acknowledge me as his wife because
he's not even hong to.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Me as his girlfriend, right?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
And I think age also plays a part there, you know,
even though five years isn't that big of a gap
the mentality of a thirty two year old and the
mentality of a thirty seven year old, a lot happens
in those five years, right, which is why you see
him still displaying this type of poor behavior. I didn't
go through or you didn't say if y'all lived together
or not. But maybe at this point he's he might
(30:31):
be using you for money, he might be using you
for emotional stability, he might like the idea of you,
but he's not in love with you. So yeah, honestly,
it's says I know This's gonna be hard, but I
do think you should have a conversation with him about
how you feel. And you know, indecision is a decision, right,
(30:53):
So if he still hasn't made those plans, he's not
going to. So you want to waste three more years
of your life, or you want a chance to find
somebody else who's actually a better fit for you.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Let me know today has been a doozy right.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Uh, so let's review calling her crazy when you built
the chaos is absurd be someone you date. Uh, And yeah,
I'm sick of these dear wifey niggas when they don't
want a wife, they don't even have a suit. Okay,
they're lying, Okay, Uh follow me on the gram at
Stormy p p e A at Chocolate Chip and Sip
(31:26):
And if you don't remember anything else, please remember they're lying.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
I love you, guys, and I'll see you next week. Peace.
What's up, beautiful people, It's your girls story.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
Repeat and welcome back to another episode of Chocolate Chip
and Sip. Y'all.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Just a soft girl living her soft life, doing soft
girl things.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Okay, and you know what, this episode is gonna be
a little bit of chaos. Yeah, it's gonna be a
little bit of chaos. So you know, grab your cup,
grab your sanity, you know what. Let's just get into
it before I get mad all over again.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
If you're watch it on YouTube, you're like, why are
you just so nice and you're so angry?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
Because I'm tired. I'm tired of this, Grandpa. Okay, I
just wanna come off to get hot.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Stop calling women crazy when you made them that way. Yeah,
it's gonna be one of those episodes. Stop calling women
crazy when you made them that way. You're inconsistency, you're gaslighting,
you're lying.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
She gets it from you. I get it from you, Dad, Okay,
it's you.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
I really hate when I run into a guy and
he tell me, yeah, you know, last three girls I
talked to, they was crazy. It's only one common denominator here, Poppy.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Okay, and it's you. You are the common denominator. You
made her that way.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
You built this Frankenstein of emotions, and now you're scared
because she didne got.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Out the lab. Not that was your, big Dog, You
created that monster. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Crazy ain't a personality trait. It's a reaction to your confusion.
So every time you run into somebody and they say, oh,
the last few people I dated was crazy, it's only
one of two things. Number one, they are the mental
asylum that keeps attracting the crazy folk. Or number two,
they got a bad picker, which kind of backs up
(01:44):
option number one if you think about it.
Speaker 1 (01:46):
So, yeah, I'm cool, big Dog. I'm cool.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
God bless good Luckily your journey. God bless that. One's
not for me, not at all. I hate when a
man gas like you so bad and hit you with
the wow. So you went through my phone, No, baby,
I went through my intuition and it told me.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
To go through your phone.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Okay, But I just want to say, for the record,
I do not recommend going through phones. Please, ladies, I know,
I know it's so tempting. It just be sitting there
and he's sitting there. Don't do that. Don't do that,
don't do that. Please save yourself to hurt.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Take it from me. You don't want her joel feelings.
It's not worth it. But yeah, they love to act loss.
Why you acting like that?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
I'm acting like that because the last twelve things you
did triggered the twenty eighteen in me.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Okay, before I went to go talk to the lady.
All right, and we're in this.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Constant battle and both of us just decided we ain't
gonna battle. No, mo, the battle is now yours. It's
not the lords, it's yours.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
If you keep making me question my sanity, don't be
mad when I start showing symptoms. Word of advice. Stop
making people crazy and then calling them crazy. You made
them that way. Speaking of showing symptoms, uh, let's talk
about the level of delulu that is actually.
Speaker 1 (03:05):
Self love self appreciation.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, yeah, I think in order to practice, if not master,
self love, you have to have some level of Deluluh.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
So let me ask you a question. Would you date you? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
No, no, no, don't don't just give you the don't
give me the knee jerk reaction of duh.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Of course, I would honestly think about it.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Think about the way you move, think about the way
you communicate, think about the effort that you put out,
think about what you're looking for, and then ask yourself,
would you date you?
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I mean me personally, I'd get me pregnant on a
first date.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
But that's just me, right, Okay, baby, I would sit
my fine ass down for nine months with the quickness.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
Okay, but that's just me.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
I communicate, Okay, I reciprocate, Okay, I cook, Okay, I
look good and bad lighting.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
The reason is they just they just keep going, right.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I'm not joking me personally, I would wife me before
the appetizer hit the table.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Okay, what and is she know how to have a
good conversation? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, that's my wife. ChIL your chill, that's my wife.
That's my wife right there. On a serious note, I mean,
let's be real, half of y'all would not date yourselves.
You want consistency, but you suck at texting back?
Speaker 1 (04:28):
What am I being consistent too? The thought of a
good conversation, I'll.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Pass no, thank you, No moss, I'm getting ready for
a bad bunny. No, moss, I don't even think that's
the right.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
Way to say.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
But no, man, honestly, I really would like all of
you to like take a second and think, like, would
you date you? We gotta stop saying, oh, men are
so intimidated by me, baby.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
You'd be intimidated by you too.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Look at the way you're acting okay, And I think
the same thing goes for men like you just don't
know good men when you see it. Apparently you don't
either because you ain't acting like it. So here we are, here,
we are at your selves. Would you date you? I
mean me me personally, I'd risk it all. But would
(05:20):
you date you? Or would you ghost you?
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Fair question?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Speaking of confidence, I'd like to talk about one of
my new found favorite activities and one of the places
I have the most confidence at the gym. I've reached
this point in my life where I think I'm addicted
to the gym, and part of one of the rewards
from that is not just body tea right. The other
(05:48):
reward is I love dating men who go to the gym.
And I don't mean just go to the gym. I
love meeting and man at the gym and then we
go on a first date.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
He realized I'm a baddy.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Oh you thought I was a bum because I'd be
at the gym looking like Adam Sandler. No, no, I'm
a battie for real.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
I'm a baddie for real. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Yeah, you thought I was a bum because I'd be
at the gym looking like Tyrone Biggum's Okay, my mouth
be white from the pre workout.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Sometimes I'm just joking.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
You thought I was a bum because I be at
the gym dressed crazy, sweaty, doing my thing, dizzill gnaw baby.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Don't let this band dann A fool you.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Okay, I take this band then off and go from
the Undertaker to trust Stratus real fast, okay, real fast.
I just love seeing a man face light up when
he first see me when we get to the establishment.
Yeah yeah, that step back where you like jomp back
a little bit and your eyes opened up, like, oh
you're really pretty.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah I know. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
I look better when I don't look like a Hershey's
bar that you left in your pocket and it got
all melty. That's what I look like when I be sweating,
So like when I get dressed, I look nice. But yeah,
I love to take me in by surprise. I think
this all goes to the duality of a woman. But
I think my duality isn't really balanced because I really
(07:21):
be in the gym, like benching and doing stuff that
most women don't do. So it really did be taking
people by surprise when they meet me on the first date.
But it's like, no, baby, you thought I was bench pressing.
Sadness not a self esteem nigga. No, but yeah, don't
don't underestimate a woman in her bandana era like felas
(07:42):
if you see a girl at the gym and you
know you feel like she might be throwing you vibes, like,
don't just think she's one package.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Remember you're seeing her at her worst.
Speaker 2 (07:52):
Which is also a thing that I like, Like I
like meeting guys at the gym because you see me
at my worst.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
You see me with no makeup on, You see me, you.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
See my edges not laid, Like is this something you
can get jiggy with?
Speaker 1 (08:05):
Is this something you can wake up to?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Cause like when I try, I look nice, but you're
seeing me at my bare minimum. Like I hate when
those guys be like, oh, I'm gona take a groul
to the pool and no, get your fat ass in
the gym.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Meet her at the gym. How about that? How about that.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
Yeah, if you want to see a woman in her
rarest most pure form.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
Meet her at the gym. But I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
The ugliest places people see me the gym target before
the boycott target, and the maintenance man. Oh that, nigga.
I know the maintenance man and my next door neighbor
that they have seen me look like I'm fresh out
or fresh off. Shot sees me pretty ugly too, but
(08:50):
I feel like it bounces out because Shot sees me
when I try a lot too, so that he probably
sees the most duality.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
But yeah, that's it. I digress.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Speaking of delusions, some of y'a ain't gonna like this
next one, and I don't give a fuck. I'm so
sick and tired of these dear wifey posts. Oh my god,
Oh my god, I'm so sick of every time I
open up my phone it's some handsome ass nigga, what
(09:21):
a body like a Greek god talking about.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Do your wife fee? And you want a fund man? Pus?
But shut the fuck up, Shut up.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Ain't nobody trying to hear all that the entire female
population is competing for the same eight men, and you're
trying to tell me, you can't find a wife.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Get the fuck out of here. I'm trying to hear that.
I am not trying to hear that.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
I don't think you understand how it gets under my skin.
It grinds my gears. I can't stand it. These men
are lying, They are using you for click bait. Okay,
they are lying. Half of these dear wifey postmen are
already their excuses.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
Okay, they know exactly what they're looking for.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
And don't get me wrong, some of them may actually
be looking for a wife. But I find it hard
to believe that with such an ample amount of fish
you cannot choose one. It's given you don't actually want
one right now, or you lack the attention that you're getting.
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Either way, it's trash. These posts don't get under y'all skin?
Is it just me?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
If he really wanted a wife, he would stop performing
husbandhood duties for clicks, because that's essentially what it is. Oh,
oh my god, don't let them be dressing up a dog.
Don't let them be cooking with no shirt on.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Like who bitch? Who does? Fuck? Okay? Like, what are
we doing here? What are we doing?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
And I know, I know, I know, I know, I
know some of y'all gonna say, well, technically we can
say the same thing about you. You're attractive and you
be talking about finding your person.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Da da da da da.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I want to reiterate my original statement. All of women
are competing for the same eight men.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Okay. I'm just waiting for this batch to get divorced
so they can come back on a scene and be
eligible again.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Because honestly, the single men are gone at this point.
All jokes aside. I think we can acknowledge that there
is a larger number of women who have worked on
themselves and have done the work to be a good wife,
to be a good partner. Right when we compare that
to the amount of men who have gone to therapy,
(11:36):
worked on theirselves, acknowledged their flaws and acknowledged their triggers,
and honestly acknowledge what their boundaries are and learn to
enforce them in a healthy way and be emotionally intelligent
and able to communicate and be financially in a space
where he is ready to be somebody's husband. I think
we can agree that the numbers differ, yes or no, okay,
(11:59):
And if you're one of those men, who's just gonna
look me in the face and say, no, that's not
it at all. Really, How many of your friends would
you want your child to date if they were the
same age?
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yeah? Yeah, like them.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Raggy ass homeboys that you'd be complaining to me about
when you be pioll talking.
Speaker 1 (12:15):
Yeah, how many of them?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
How many of them would you let date your daughter
if circumstances were different and they were the same age?
Speaker 1 (12:24):
None? Right, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
Success, dear future wayfe, I can't wait to meet you.
You didnet been to three baby showers this summer, two
engagement parties, and you go to church at least once
or twice a month. You have met nineteen wives and
ain't chose not one of them?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Why? Why stop playing on my face?
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Okay, and I'm not gonna say no names, but I
know right now each of you can think of three
men that always pop up on your feed with the
same bullshit. Okay, if I handle one, I actually respect
the guy who faked having a relationship for that content
(13:08):
more than I respect these men who do the dear
wifeye content if you know you know, and it don't
even be popping up on my feed? Yes, seven, stop
reposting these niggas, which brings me to my favorite delusion
of them all. If we're gonna talk about this dear
wifey stuff, we also have to counter it with this
(13:31):
provider fantasy that seems to be going around fellas. I
got something to tell you. You might not believe it, but
I swear it's true. Being a provider does not equal money.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hear me out. Being
a provider does not equal money. I don't hold hear
(13:51):
me out. Hear me out, hear me out.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Listen. Okay, A man having money is not enough for me. Okay.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
When I say I want a provider, I don't mean
just zell notifications nice.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Keep him grumming while they're coming, right. But it's out
her stuff too.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
That being a provider means peace, It means help, It
means strength to make it to the next hour.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Don't just throw money at me all the time. I need.
I just need.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
It's a little bit more than that, like exactly, a
little balance, a little duality, right, Like I want you
to be able to listen to me. I want you
to be able to communicate, help me problem solve, be
a soundboard. Pray for me, Pray for me because I'm
so blessed, the devil will be working. Pray for me,
(14:38):
like it's more than money. Be the kind of man
who protects her peace, not just her bills. A burkin
don't hold no emotional stability.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
It's cute, though, but.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
It can't hold everything that I need in this relationship.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
It's not enough. And I know the go to is
always fellas.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Like you know, y'all always told us we needed to
PROVEM and now y'all saying money ain't enough, baby.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Provision isn't just wealth.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
I feel like some of you focus so much on
the money that you didn't develop the other traits that
go into provision.
Speaker 1 (15:13):
I'm not saying we don't want the money.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I'm just saying it's a little bit more than the money, right,
because we'll say things like you know, oh, well, being
a wife isn't just one thing. Being a husband and
a provider isn't just one thing. More things go into it.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
Right, strengthen your craft.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I didn't pour into yourself, so you can pour into
your partner, my g peace is the new currency. If
some of y'all is broke, you can't cash up your
way into emotional stability.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
It's gonna need more than that.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
If your wife is struggling, yes, seven, If your wife
is struggling with postpartum, money ain't enough. Do you know
how to come for her? Do you know how to
show up for her when she can't show up for herself.
Just think about that. There are things more than money.
Not saying some woman don't want the money, It's just
(16:05):
more that comes along with it. All right, let's uh,
let's lay in this plane for I say something I
need to pray about later. And now we're gonna get
into one of my favorite parts of the show. Somebody
come look at this. Yeah, come on, somebody come look
at this. This is where I read stories that I
found on Reddit.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Most of the time.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
We have a theme today, we just gonna bounce around.
I just found some that I thought were hilarious and
I wanted to get you guys take on it. And
I'm not gonna lie. I feel like I want to
have to start reading from my phone because I posted
a clip of me just reading from the screen and
everyone thought I was talking about myself and the clip
and everybody was like, but you don't like like skin
(16:46):
and you're not smart okay, because I'm obviously reading something.
I even put the words at the bottom of the
screen from the actual post. But you know what, I digress.
Come on, let's get into their story. Sorry allergies, Sorry y'all.
Am I the asshole for respecting my boyfriend's boundaries even
though his friends think I should have fought for him.
(17:08):
All right, let's get into it, Hi, Reddit, I, twenty
two female, need some perspective on a situation that happened
last week, but it's still bothering me today. My boyfriend,
twenty two male, and I have been together for six
years and we casually community. I'm sorry, and we usually
communicate really well. Last week I went to join him
in bed like I usually do, but he stopped me.
(17:30):
He told me he wanted to sleep alone for the
rest of the week and asked if I could respect that.
I let me. Let me keep reading. I'm gonna keep reading.
I was a little surprised, but I just said okay
and went downstairs to the guest room to sleep.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
You know, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I didn't argue a pushback because I wanted to honor
his boundaries.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
I respect that. All right.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
This goes into the conversation we were just having as far
as you know, being able to provide and show for
your partner outside of money.
Speaker 1 (18:04):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
If he's saying he's struggling and he needs some space,
I don't know. If he needs space because of a
Chipotle bowl, something that happened at work, I don't know.
But if he says he needs space, she wanted to
give him the space.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
I can respect that.
Speaker 2 (18:18):
Since then, I've been hearing from his friends that I
failed to test. Oh buddy, Oh, I hate you type
of niggas. I hate you type of niggas. Don't you
ever in your life try to put me through a test,
because I'm gonna fail every time. Intentionally, I'm intentionally gonna fail.
Who the fuck do you think you are? Don't put
me through no test. That's not your job. Okay, that's
(18:41):
God's job.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
Okay. And for whatever reason, he think, oh, one of
his stronger soldiers. And we're still working that out. But
let me tell you something. Don't you ever try to
test me.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I hate these type of people because it always turns
into a manipulation tactic. Right, so it says apparently his
friend groups sometimes does the.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
Did not.
Speaker 2 (19:03):
Okay, Apparently, his friend groups sometimes does these little scenarios
where they test the partners to see if they would
fight for them if the relationship weren't in trouble. Boy,
you had to say, not only is he a bitch,
he's surrounded by bitches and that's why they think this
type of behavior is cool.
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Ain't no way, ain't no way, ain't no way.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Now, what if she decided to go out there and
suck some dick to test you and see if you
was gonna be able to fight through that?
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Oh oh, now, to test the tuote street? Now she
doing too much?
Speaker 2 (19:36):
What type of person would do something like that to
the person that they love?
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Now?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
What if she would have went in her prayer closet
and got her prayer oil and started praying over you,
interceding for you on your behalf for what reason?
Speaker 1 (19:51):
Nothing? Because it's something you and your little friends.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Like to do.
Speaker 1 (19:54):
Uh uh m m mmmmmmmm.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
According to them, other partners jump into these situations insisting
on staying, arguing or defending their partners in some way,
but just respecting his requests. I supposedly showed that I
wouldn't fight for him if something went wrong.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
That's not even what took place. This woman could be.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Ready to catch her charge for you, but she knows
how much you value your mental stability. So if you're
saying you need space, she wanted to respect that, and
you took it as she failed a task because she
wouldn't fight for you.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
Ain't no way.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
Even today, a week later, it's still being brought up.
His friends keep talking about it when he's around, making
comments like wow, she just let you sleep alone, and
it's been making me feel guilty. It would make me
feel like I need to fuck every single one of
his friends.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
All we talk about fail and tests. I don't failed that.
I might as well fail all of them. Right, Oh, oh,
now I'm the bad guy. Now now I'm the bad guy. No,
y'all want to play games, right.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes, And ain't
no way. I would be around his friends and they're
talking about this. First of all, I definitely would have
went to him like, hey, got it cool, don't ever
do that again.
Speaker 1 (21:10):
I don't feel comfortable. It made me feel very vulnerable.
Tighten up.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
For you not to then relay that to your friends
and them to have the audacity the comfortability to where
they can just talk about that in my face, like
I ain't shit.
Speaker 1 (21:26):
Do you know? The Lord is still working on me?
Do you know? Do you know? Because I don't think
you do.
Speaker 2 (21:32):
Y'all all here just making fun of me and make
it seem like I don't leave, leave, I can sleep
in the guest room. You can leave, yeah, because y'all
think it's funny, right, Okay. I tried to explain that
respecting his boundaries is a way of supporting and caring
for him, but they insist that the right reaction would
have been to pushback or are you for the relationship.
(21:53):
This is why I say you have to date people
who have the same values as you because on what
her upbringing was, right, she might not have grown up
in chaos, she might not have grown up in trauma,
So her respecting your boundaries is the appropriate response. Now,
if you would to a girl from North Philly, her
response might have been to knock you upside your head.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
With a can of grits.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
But no, okay, her response might have been a knock
you upside your hand with a pot of grits because
you think she playing with you? Yes, so Shad said,
did she say that it was something that made him
feel like the relationship was in trouble for him to
(22:36):
want to.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
Do the test. No, you didn't miss that part. It
was never said.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
He just decided things are going so well, let me
test this bitch and see if she gonna fight for me.
That's what happened. That's what happened. My boyfriend hasn't really
defended me in front of his friends. Yes, Sis, leave
since that I gang yeah, bruh, bruh. He said something
like you did what I am, which is fine, but
(23:01):
I guess they expected a different reaction.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
I'm confused.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Don't you want all these women to be submissive and
to follow.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
Because you're a good leader. So if the leader tells.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Me he needs space and I follow, how does this
now somehow turn and say I'm not willing to fight
for my relationship okay, okay, which he says, which left
me feeling even more stuck. I feel like I'm being
criticized for doing what I thought was mature, a supportive thing,
respecting him and his wishes. Yet apparently that counts as
not fighting for him. So am I the asshole here?
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Girl? Know you are not the asshole? Leave that man?
Leave his funky ass chicken flock of friends.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Okay, I have never in all my day.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
My flabbers are gasted. What do you mean? What do
you mean? I tell y'all all the time.
Speaker 2 (23:53):
I did not spend all this money on therapy to
be stuck in situations like this.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Hell no, hell no. My partner told me something.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
I respected their wishes, and now he feels like I'm
not gonna fight for him.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Maybe being singling so bad because at least I don't
got to deal with stuff like this.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
It's really your boyfriend not defending you in front of
his friends. That's the part that's taking me back. While
he letting them make fun of you. Sis, Why he
letting them play in your face? And he not even
like telling them like yo, hill man, all right, y'all
it's over. He not even stopping it. He not even
letting him know the joke is done, Like you have
(24:36):
expressed your discomfort and he's not even backing you up.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Oh okay, all right, y'all. Next one.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
This would have had me a little confused. I felt
like maybe I miss some things.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Y'all. Let me know if y'all miss some things.
Speaker 2 (24:50):
And yeah, we're gonna start right at the title, my
boyfriend still has dating apps but talks about the future
with me.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Right off the back, I'm.
Speaker 2 (25:02):
Gonna say, how how those two things don't even go together?
High redded I thirty seven have been seeing this guy
Mail thirty two for three years now, and honestly, I'm
feeling really confused about where I stand in this relationship.
You got a five year gap, five years of confusion
(25:24):
right off the back.
Speaker 1 (25:25):
But let me get back to it.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
It says, on one hand, he's always the one who
brings up conversations about our future. He talked about marriage,
having kids, and even how my plans might factor into
his own life decisions. Sometimes it really feels like he's
waiting on me to figure out what I want so
he can shape his future around it. These talks have
(25:47):
felt serious and intentional, like he genuinely sees me in
his long term plans. But on the other hand, he
still has dating apps. And I'm just gonna stop right here,
because this is the part that.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
I don't get.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Baby, like, yeah, you're in danger. Why he still got
dating apps? And I would have rather you tell me like,
oh he still got bumble? Maybe he looking for friends?
You can select friends.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Can guys select look for friends on Bumble? Or is
that just a okay? Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Maybe he still had meet up on his phone because
you would to meet up and get new friends. Okay, cool,
but dating apps? We're in a relationship. Why do you
still have hinge on your phone? But we are in
a relationship. Why do you still have hinge on your phone?
It says, I've seen the notifications.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
He don't even got his notifications off.
Speaker 2 (26:39):
This nigga's bold. Bruh, I'm not the jealous type you
should be.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Ever since, I can't take it. I can't take it,
She says, I'm not the jealous type.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
But it makes me think like maybe he thinks there
may be better women out there him. And despite our
three years together, he's never openly admitted to anyone that
we're in a relationship girl, not at work, not to
his friends, at least not that I know of. It
makes me feel like I'm the secret chapter of his life.
Y'all been together for three years and you ain't been
(27:17):
to one company holiday party. Y'all been together for three
years and you ain't been to one Thanksgiving dinner. Y'all
been together three years, and he ain't made one hard
or soft launch photo of y'all now see. At first,
I was saying this guys like, you know a pos
But baby.
Speaker 1 (27:37):
It seems like you may be two.
Speaker 2 (27:39):
You're treating yourself very poorly here, But I'm gonna get
through it.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
We got a little bit more.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Meanwhile, he often asks me if I'm committed to him,
which just adds to the confusion. How can someone talk
about marriage and kids one day and still keep dating
apps the next?
Speaker 1 (27:59):
Have you met a man?
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (28:01):
You never met a man before? Okay? Got it?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
No?
Speaker 1 (28:03):
No, no, how school? I just I.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
Figured for the way you ask that you've never met
a man? Okay, it says, to be honest. Part of
my insecurity here comes from my age. I know I'm
not in my twenties anymore, and I sometimes worry about
whether I can even have kids at this point. So
when he talks about wanting to marry me and have
a family, it's both touching and terrifying. I don't know
(28:25):
if I can give him that, and I don't know
if he's actually serious or just idealize. In some future
version of us, you do know the answer to that,
because you do know that you're thirty seven. Y'all been
talking for three years and there's still no talk of
marriage or kids. Seriously, right, That's one of the reasons
why I say I like to date men that want
(28:45):
kids and want marriage. I'm gonna tell you why. When
men have the ideal set of, oh, I'll have him
if my wife wants it, it's not a sense of
urgency for them.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
If it happens, it happens. If it don't, it don't right.
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Whereas if you have a man who wants those things,
he's going to be planning and actively moving towards those things.
Ain't gonna be no three year gap. And we had
to peel on a stick, not once. We ain't gonna
ring shopping, not once. Yeah, no, no, no, no. I
really care about him. But after three years, these mixed
(29:16):
signals are starting to take a real emotional toll. I
don't know if he's just confused, emotionally immature keeping his
options open, or if I'm the one overthinking everything. Has
anyone been in a similar situation? How do you even
start this kind of conversation without pushing someone away? Any
honest advice will be greatly appreciated. Let's start from the beginning.
(29:39):
Y'all have been together for three years and he still
hasn't introduced you to anyone as his girlfriend. He'll see
you as somebody who's special to him, but you're not
that special one to him, which is why he still
has the dating apps. And honestly, you got to ask yourself,
all these behaviors that he's displaying, is that something that
I want and my future husband do I want my
(30:01):
future husband to not acknowledge me as his wife because
he's not even hong to.
Speaker 1 (30:06):
Me as his girlfriend, right?
Speaker 2 (30:08):
And I think age also plays a part there, you know,
even though five years isn't that big of a gap
the mentality of a thirty two year old and the
mentality of a thirty seven year old, a lot happens
in those five years, right, which is why you see
him still displaying this type of poor behavior. I didn't
go through or you didn't say if y'all lived together
or not. But maybe at this point he's he might
(30:31):
be using you for money, he might be using you
for emotional stability, he might like the idea of you,
but he's not in love with you. So yeah, honestly,
it's says I know This's gonna be hard, but I
do think you should have a conversation with him about
how you feel. And you know, indecision is a decision, right,
(30:53):
So if he still hasn't made those plans, he's not
going to. So you want to waste three more years
of your life, or you want a chance to find
somebody else who's actually a better fit for you.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Let me know today has been a doozy right.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
Uh, so let's review calling her crazy when you built
the chaos is absurd be someone you date. Uh, And yeah,
I'm sick of these dear wifey niggas when they don't
want a wife, they don't even have a suit. Okay,
they're lying, Okay, Uh follow me on the gram at
Stormy p p e A at Chocolate Chip and Sip
(31:26):
And if you don't remember anything else, please remember they're lying.
Speaker 1 (31:30):
I love you, guys, and I'll see you next week. Peace.
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