Voice of the Vasectomy

What does it look like when a man decides to choose peace over pampers? 😭
This week on Chocolate Chip & Sip, Stormy Pea sits down with her longtime friend and proud vasectomy advocate to talk about why he snipped his future and never looked back.
They get into everything from:

• The real reason he got a vasectomy (and why he calls it the most self-loving thing he’s ever done)
• Whether he’s “selfish” for not wanting more kids
• The woman who flipped out after finding out he was snipped (even though he told her upfront!)
• How his homies reacted when he told them he did it
• Plus some spicy hot takes about dating, responsibility, and men finally putting themselves first.

It’s grown, funny, and real — two friends having the kind of convo your group chat definitely would.
🎧 Tune in and sip responsibly.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Woo.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
What's that?

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Beautiful people?

Speaker 2 (00:07):
Is your baby mama favorite baby Mama story pet And
this is another episode of Chocolate Chip and Sip. And
today we have a very special episode for you guys.
I don't know about you, but I'm sick of opening
my phone to go on out gores internet and they're hearing.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
About the same damn thing every day. Should you go
fifty to fifty?

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Should you split?

Speaker 3 (00:29):
How?

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Just the men be said, we ain't doing that today.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Today we got a very special episode for y'all. I
got one of my longtime friends here with me.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
We go way back.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
He say he not outside. I say he outside, Adjason.
But I like to introduce you all to my good
friend Kevin. Hello, Kevin. I'm doing very good now.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Kevin. You're here for a very special reason today because
you are what I like to call the voice of
the vasectomy.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah you heard that right, I said, the voice of theseectomy. Okay,
you know this is this narrative of black men just
going around swing their seed all over the place. But
that's not you.

Speaker 4 (01:15):
No, not at all.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
That's not you, not at all. So first of all,
how long have you had a protectomy?

Speaker 4 (01:23):
April seventeen.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Okay, okay, oh so that John I locked it.

Speaker 4 (01:27):
Yeah, we locked it.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Okay. Please, I just would love to know the story
of how this came about. You just woke up one
day and say, you know what cut these soldiers off? No?

Speaker 4 (01:40):
Nah, So I mean it's it's more complex than that.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
I had my first child when I was nineteen, so
tam to see that eighteen.

Speaker 4 (01:47):
So as soon as I started getting.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Active, you got active.

Speaker 4 (01:50):
Active got me. So I had my first kid when
I was nineteen.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
So my first couple of years of having her, I
was dibbling and dead with different jobs. I was working
two jobs and something at one point three jobs at
one point, just trying to make against meet. And her
grandfather was a police officer at the time, and he
was just like, yo, like, instead of working all these
crazy jobs to take care of my granddaughter.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
Why don't you apply for the police department.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
And I'm like, I ain't doing nothing else. So I
applied and they hired me.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
I just want to say, this is my favorite narc.

Speaker 4 (02:27):
I left almost two years ago.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Well he used to be my favorite narc. But speaking
of working all these odd jobs, that's where I met you.
At one of your odd jobs.

Speaker 3 (02:35):
Yeah, we worked at sears Rest.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah that was what you're telling everybody how old I
am and I don't like it. You could have just
said at a store.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
You could just set.

Speaker 4 (02:44):
At a store six thousand and seven.

Speaker 2 (02:47):
Yeah, I was still like a baby. I just got
my like working permit, just like I know.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
So I was in the stock room. So if you
ever had a girl say like, you know, she's not interested.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
Because because yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure, I've been I've
been dumped because of it.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Dumped is different than being turned down, So which one
is it?

Speaker 4 (03:09):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (03:09):
I've been dumped because of it. I've been turned down
because of it. I've been fake turned down and someone
pretended they cared, but they didn't care until they made
up their mind that they wanted a baby, and I
was incapable.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Y'all see how men like to play the victim? Because
why would he turn this into woe was me? I've
been turned down? Oh my life, I had no fun?
Why would he act like that? Y'all?

Speaker 4 (03:33):
I'm different scenarios, like every every scenario is different. But like.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
How I approached it when I first got it, as
opposed to how I approach it now, it is totally different.

Speaker 4 (03:42):
I don't Back then.

Speaker 3 (03:43):
I wasn't I didn't lie about it, but so I
wasn't forthcoming about it. Like instead of saying, hey, I
cannot have children anymore, I would just say things like
I don't want children anymore.

Speaker 4 (03:54):
Okay, and that caused problems.

Speaker 1 (03:57):
Ok right now.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
On the flip side, have women been more interested because
you don't like you can't have kids because you do
have a vasectomy? Nah.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
A lot of times if I tell them, they'll act
like it's a problem. If they don't have kids or
have kids and want more kids, they act like it's
an issue. But then they'll keep talking to me.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
I just won't go back for a second.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
I feel like we didn't really get to the meat
of why you decided to let all your soldiers go
on the glory.

Speaker 4 (04:25):
That's a crazy way to put it.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
So I said, I had my first child when I
was nineteen. She was conceived that eighteen. Had her in
April twenty. I'm sorry, April lift two thousand and five.
That's a long time ago. And so I went basically
my whole twenties, like being a dad. I didn't get
to do the trips to Miami with my homeboys. I
didn't get to do the guys trips to Fella's trips.

(04:49):
I did smaller things like Sixers games, baseball games, Eagles game,
but I didn't really get to travel because I was
working to provide for my daughter, okay, and that was
always like first to me, That's always the first thing.
So as I got into my late twenties, I met
my second and final and.

Speaker 4 (05:09):
Youngest daughter's mom. And at that point, my.

Speaker 3 (05:12):
Oldest was eleven, and well she was eleven when my
youngest was born, but at the time that she she
and I met, I think she was eight.

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (05:21):
So we went like three years ago.

Speaker 3 (05:24):
Off and on dating and all that stuff, you know
how it goes, and she eventually, you know, we eventually
did conceive a child. And but prior to having number two,
I was already kind of like low key flirting with
the idea of like, yeah, damn, I'm about to go
and cut the line because I always loved the idea
of being like thirty seven with an eighteen year old.

(05:44):
That was I always remember the number I'll be with
eighteen year old. I'll be one and done, and I'm outside,
not outside like in the streets.

Speaker 2 (05:50):
But just okay, because when I I just want to
go and go back to the beginning of that episode
when I said okay.

Speaker 3 (05:58):
Well, when I say outside, I mean like just without
the responsibility of a small child. So her being eighteen,
me being thirty seven and just having one kid, I'm like, Yo,
that's ideal. I want to go and see the world.
I want to do all the things I didn't get
to do on my twenties.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
And it was never to go back and have another one.
Like it was never like a I want to you
don't have my youth. And then I'm still young enough
to pivot and say if I want to grow with
my wife or whatever the case may be.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
No, because I was totally fine with one, so I
knew I knew, I knew one was like great for me.
And then I'm like, because my daughter's mom didn't have
any kids at the time, you know how you see
forever at some point like oh, we're gonna do this
forever blah blah blahlah blah. I'm like, well, I won't
do it because she and I are together. But it
was always something that I thought about. I just wasn't

(06:44):
vocal about it, but something I considered. So, you know,
obviously she and I had the conversation told me that
she was, you know, pregnant, and I was happy. I
was like, great, cool, like I'm cool with this. But
then deep down inside of me, I'm like, I'm two
and done.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
And I knew it. I knew I was too and done.
I knew I didn't want three.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Did you talk to her about having a vasectomy after
y'all had?

Speaker 3 (07:04):
Yeah, if I remember, we had like small conversations about it,
but I don't remember what her reaction was.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
It was it was it was almost ten years ago.

Speaker 1 (07:10):
You know what, your body, your choice.

Speaker 4 (07:12):
King, Thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker 3 (07:16):
But I mean I think that if she and I
were like still together and it was like one of
those healthy, like long term things I see that's just
never breaking up, then I probably wouldn't have done it.

Speaker 2 (07:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (07:27):
So my issue was at the point of like she
and I kind of you know, getting too that starting
to separate phase, I knew more and more that it
was something that I was probably gonna have to do.
Not because I didn't have self control or anything like that.
I just did not want to enter that arena again.
I just like I don't want to do this again.
I don't want to. I think kids are wonderful. Yeah,
I don't want to change diapers anymore. I don't want

(07:49):
to buy wipes. I don't want to pick up and
drop off a kid from daycare. I don't want to
do all that stuff. Yeah, And I want my money.
I want to be able to enjoy my money. I'm
being honest, like, and I say that because in twenty fourteen,
twenty fifteen, I was making ninety two one hundred thousand
dollars a year. Like people say cops don't make money,
that's the biggest lie. Cops make a lot of money.

Speaker 4 (08:06):
I was doing well.

Speaker 3 (08:07):
I was making somewhere between eighty ninety hundred thousand a year,
depending on how hard I was grinding. And I only
had one kid at the time. And I'm like, this
is not enough money, Like because I have to give
her stuff. I have to give her my money. I
have to buy her clothes, sneakers and things like that.
And I'm just like, damn, Like after you pay rent
and you pay your card note and everything like that,
there's not enough money left. So I kind of look
around the room at other men who make half as

(08:27):
much as I was making, who had three times as
many kids.

Speaker 4 (08:30):
I'm like, how do you do it?

Speaker 1 (08:32):
Well?

Speaker 2 (08:32):
The problem is spoiler alert, none of this is enough
money to survive right now, Like when you think about it,
Like when you think about it, I know inflation is
a thing, but the math ain't math. And want to
come to inflation. Cause back in the day, like our
granddads would be able to buy a house, provide for
two families, his real one and his secret one down
the street that everyonyank like they don't know about, but

(08:53):
we really do. And it was fine, Like he was
able to purchase that home by himself. Like even with
inflation now there are not a lot of people who
can put a down payment on or own a home
by themselves.

Speaker 4 (09:04):
Even inflation.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
Aside, even if inflation wasn't a thing, kids still require things.
They care bills are still theay care bills are still
a thing.

Speaker 4 (09:13):
Sneakers and things like that. Things cost money.

Speaker 3 (09:16):
And for me, you feel like you work in all
these hours and it's just never enough money. So I
see people with a bunch of kids, like men with
a bunch of kids who don't make the money that
I was making, and I'm not saying this is like
a flex or a brag, but I was just looking
at the economy, like.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
How how are you surviving and take care?

Speaker 3 (09:32):
How do you take care of five kids by four
women and you work at you work in retail like
they don't, And no disrespect to the reasons they don't.
And I can't say that they don't because they do.
But I think it's just harder. And I think time
and money go hand in hand. If you want to
spend time with your kids, you have to sacrifice the

(09:53):
money that you make. If you're doing it by legal means,
you only you know you're nine to five. You're not
a lawyer of real estate doctor or nothing like that.
But you really got a grind because most of us
are blue collar nine to five workers and or midnight
to eight or whatever it is. And I just knew
that the more children I had, the more I'd have
to work. And I didn't want to spend the rest
of my life working over time to provide for kids,
because you can't enjoy life. Yeah, And I knew, after

(10:16):
what I experienced in my twenties, I didn't want to
go through that in my thirties and forties.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
I agree. I think that is a powerful point.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
I'm very much team dissected me, team birth control, team
sit on that table. Okay, so sometimes you gotta put
yourself first, and I think that's why a lot of
people are still depressed. They don't realize they're overworking places.

Speaker 3 (10:35):
You said the part about putting yourself first because I
had people tell me it was a selfish team to do.
I'm like, yes, it was very selfish. It was selfish
for me. Yeah, And we got to realize that being
selfish is not a bad thing. Sometimes you have to
be selfish and make the best decision for you and
put what other people think aside.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
Because yes, I'm selfish.

Speaker 3 (10:50):
I gotta be resected me because I wanted to because
guess who's not gonna help me take care of the kid?

Speaker 4 (10:54):
A bunch of people who got an opinion about it.
You're not going to help me with it.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
So, I mean, it's just a situation that I just
didn't want to deal with. I made it this decision
that I decided I didn't want any more kids because
it's something that i'd have to deal and it's just
so I don't want to deal with again. I think
kids are awesome. I think kids are wonderful. If I
was married to one woman, I'd probably had four or five.
But because I have two kids by two women, I
was like, I will not, in any circumstance have three
kids by three women. I'm not picking up a day

(11:18):
from South Philly, I'm not picking up another from Westfield,
and I'm not picking another one from Chestnut Hill so much,
I'm not doing it.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
So because you already have kids, do you think that
makes you date more intentionally or you can just be
free because you already know what you want and what
you don't want.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
I don't know how to answer that. I don't know
how to answer that question. I don't know how to
answer that.

Speaker 2 (11:38):
What's the funniest story behind telling a woman that you
have of aseectomy?

Speaker 3 (11:43):
The funniest story? I don't know if I have a
funny story, but I have a good story.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
So I used to before I would tell women I
I was being a little deceptive. I'm not gonna lie.
I was kind of being a little I.

Speaker 4 (11:56):
Was playing world games.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
I wasn't I wasn't lying about what it was, but
I wasn't being forthcoming about the aseected me. So I like,
with meet a woman and this is a true story.
So don't kill me if you hear this.

Speaker 1 (12:09):
I hope you hear us. Queen, get your justice, Queennah.

Speaker 3 (12:12):
She's moved on to far greater things than I was
probably gonna.

Speaker 1 (12:15):
Offer her, like kids.

Speaker 4 (12:18):
She has a child now. So it was a young lady.

Speaker 3 (12:21):
I was very interested in very very beautiful young lady
and played the cat and mos game for a while.
She gave me some play eventually, and we went out
a couple of times and one night we you know,
were intimate.

Speaker 4 (12:32):
Right, And this is the funniest story.

Speaker 3 (12:36):
So I had told her prior to us dating that
I didn't want any more kids. I had already had
it asseected me. But I didn't say I couldn't have any.

Speaker 1 (12:43):
More, just that Wow, is that lying?

Speaker 3 (12:47):
It's it's more complex than lying. I think it's a
little more to it. I think it's it's a half truth.
I have true truth, and they say half truth for
whole lives. But in this case, I don't feel like
I lied. I said I didn't want any more kids,
and she was like, well, that's a deal breaker for
her because she wants kids and I'm like, well, I
don't want anymore. I didn't say I couldn't have anymore.

(13:08):
And this is right up front, this was early on.
I don't want any more kids. And she was like, well,
this ain't gonna work because I want kids, and I'm like,
I respect that.

Speaker 4 (13:15):
But she continued to talk to me.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
And one night, you know, this was some years ago,
we went back to her place, and you know, one
thing led to another.

Speaker 4 (13:25):
Adults adulting, and you'll be.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Talking like you still don't stand are you giving a testimony?

Speaker 3 (13:31):
I'll try to keep it PJ. We were intimate and
that's funny because now I feel like I can't see it.

Speaker 1 (13:40):
I was really good.

Speaker 3 (13:43):
I was really very testifying. Uh So we went back
to her place and we were intimate, and you know,
I used protection or whatever, and in the midst of
of course, the condom broke and I didn't know until
we were finished. And at the end I'm.

Speaker 1 (13:58):
Laughing his visits like Detective Stabler.

Speaker 4 (14:01):
Whatever, whatever's clever or whatever.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
So you know, the condom had broke, and I didn't
know until we finished. So when when I realized, I
was like, oh shit, the condom broke, and she did
the whole like she was all frantic, and I was
just like, oh, okay.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
You should have played it off and gave her a
fifty dollars so she.

Speaker 3 (14:21):
Can get the plan b oh, because because I didn't
feel it necessary. But at the moment, it was just
like it was just whatever to me because I knew
nothing was going to happen, but she didn't know that.
I told her I couldn't have anything. I told her
I didn't want anymore. I did until I couldn't even
need so that so I ended up, you know, end
up cleaning up and going to sleep or whatever. Then

(14:42):
the next morning I got up, cleaned up, got cleaned
myself up, got got up and left and went home
or whatever, and she texted me, was like, I want
to talk to you.

Speaker 4 (14:48):
I was like, what's up?

Speaker 3 (14:49):
She was like, last night when the condom broke, you
had no reaction, like you what was up with that?
I was like, I said, oh, I have exected me,
just like that was all I had everseected me.

Speaker 4 (14:58):
And she was like you what?

Speaker 3 (15:00):
And I was like out of every secret. She's like,
you didn't tell me that. If you told me, I
would stop talking to you. I said, what I told
you I didn't want any more kids. I didn't want
any kids, but that's not the same thing. And I
was like, well, I mean, the reason why I don't
think is relevant, but I think me saying I don't
want any more kids should be good enough for you
to stop talking to me, if that's the case, because
at that point, I'm not accusing her of trying to
trap me, but I feel like you were kind of

(15:22):
holding I hope that maybe you could get me to
change my mind, or maybe something would happen and I
would just have to just take it on the chin.

Speaker 1 (15:28):
I am flabbergastic because I don't know what side to
take right now.

Speaker 3 (15:31):
Well, I mean, I can only be responsible for my side,
right and I should have been more forthcoming, But that
day was the day going forward that it's like, yo,
like you want kids, I'm not the guy. I'm not.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
It's funny because I'm like, you are correct.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
If I tell you I don't want kids and you're
upset when I tell you I can't have kids, then technically.

Speaker 1 (15:51):
You are trying to trap me, like we can have
that argument. You thought you could change my mom, which.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Is even more hurtful because kids is something that like,
I feel like kids in marriage are two things you
should never try to change anybody you're talking to minds about.
If y'a don't have the same views, it should be
a rap, right. So I get it when you say, like,
were you trying to track me?

Speaker 3 (16:14):
What the thing was to it is that I realized that,
like I said, I was played the cask and I
really liked her. I was very attracted to her. He's
a nice girl too. But in my head, I'm like, damn,
I know what she wants. There's not going to be
a future. But also, to be fair to her, maybe
I was trying to change her mind.

Speaker 1 (16:29):
I was just about to say that.

Speaker 2 (16:30):
And instead of me making an argument of her trying
to track you or her trying to change your mind,
like you said, were you potentially trying to change hers?

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Did she have kids?

Speaker 4 (16:40):
No she didn't.

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, you probably was.

Speaker 3 (16:42):
I was in my mind that like my own like
unintentionally manipulative way, I was trying to see if I
could get her to be okay with something that she
wasn't okay with. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
And again, so that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (16:52):
I'm not going to sit here and make it seem
like it was all her because if I was more forthcoming,
I know for a fact, she were to cut me off.

Speaker 4 (16:58):
That's I think why I wasn't more forthcoming. I liked her.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
It's funny that you say that.

Speaker 2 (17:03):
So I had a very similar experience. I was the
inther guy and we were having intercourse and the proactive
is that what it's called proactive?

Speaker 1 (17:14):
What is the what is the P word for condoms?
Insert here?

Speaker 3 (17:20):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (17:21):
It popped?

Speaker 2 (17:22):
And you know afterwards, I'm like, yeah, you know, just
send me the money in the morning, right, because I'm
a lady.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
Right.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
So the next day had the same conversation, like, hey,
you know, when you get a chance, you to send
me that money, right, And he's like, oh, yeah, no,
we won't need to do all that.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
And I was like, well why and he's like all
I got to expected me.

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Yes, this is not the same.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
No, no, no, we're not talking about this. We're not
talking about each other.

Speaker 3 (17:48):
No, no, no.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
So now, the part that frustrated me was we had
had conversations about having more kids.

Speaker 1 (17:54):
He already had to. That's fucked up. He did have to.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
Oh my god, it's not chevs, it's he had two
right now. A boy and a girl. So his relationship
with his being was trash though.

Speaker 1 (18:08):
Right, So when we like first started, because you know
I got one, I'm like, yeah, you know, I get it,
but I don't get it. I want at least two more.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
And he was like, yeah, that's something that you know,
I could potentially have a conversation about in like two years.
But I don't see that being a problem. He never
said I have a aseected me. If you would have
said he had a assected me, I would have stopped
talking to him. Thirty three. I would have stopped talking
to him, but only because if you had to have
assected me on your own, you don't want to have kids.
I don't want you to have kids because I want kids,

(18:34):
because now that's where potential resentment can reside, like later
on down the line. You know, a nigga forget to
turn the water off and flood the bathroom and.

Speaker 1 (18:42):
You're like, I ain't with this.

Speaker 2 (18:43):
Fuck he can't say anyway, and now somehow it's my time,
my fault. So that is something that I absolutely would
have stop talking to him for it.

Speaker 3 (18:49):
And it's funny you say that about the bathroom because
I'm very honest when I say it, like I was
thrilled to have my second child, but I knew a
third one I would not be happy about it. Yeah,
you wouldn't get like a yay text or hug for me.
I might hug you and say, oh, we're having a baby,
but I also might in the back of my mind
be like, fuck, I'm thirty nine now, I have a
twenty year old and I have a nine year old.

Speaker 4 (19:09):
And I look at my nine year old not as
like just my daughter.

Speaker 3 (19:12):
I love her, that's my baby, but I look at
her as nine. It's like she's the halfway mark. I
am halfway to freedom, and I will not hit the
recept But and again, I did it once when my
oldest was eleven, and I was cool with it. I
was I was fine with it.

Speaker 4 (19:24):
I don't think that I'm like sitting here living.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
In regret, but I'd be honest, there are some days
where I'd be like, damn, I was done and I
started over. You see how I want my youngest daugh Yeah,
like she's attached to my head. She likes everything I like.
She likes the eagles, go birds, she likes to see.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
You forgot the dickhead, I don't.

Speaker 4 (19:42):
Talk like that. She likes the Phillies.

Speaker 3 (19:45):
I could take her to a Phillies game, six Ers, Eagles, Flyers,
whatever I want to do, She's with it. Yeah. So yeah,
that's like the you know, people ask me that I
want a boy, I'm like, I have a boy dog.
That's my boy. But also my daughter, even though she's
not a boy. Sometimes I feel like I'm with my
little homie. Yeah, because she likes everything I like, Like,
I'm taking her to her first real Egles game in November,
and that's something that I want to experience with her

(20:06):
because she wants to go. So she doesn't want to
do the preseason games. I can't tricker with the preseason
games because she's like, where's Jalen Hurchond sa Quin. I'm like,
over in them, hoodie, shut up. Oh my god, I
get to do that with her. But but speaking to
the point of three kids, if I had a third kid,
wouldn't be any more Eagles games. There wouldn't there would
be less Egos games, there would be less of the
things I like to do. And I'm in my selfish era.

(20:27):
I want to do the things I want to do.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Cocky I want.

Speaker 4 (20:31):
To do, and I know that a kid would put
a serious strain on that.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
So now that the game is over all jokes aside,
I think it's very mature for you to be at
a point in your life where you're like, yo, I
finally want to put me first. And I honestly think
that's where a lot of women, especially mothers, struggle at.
We don't know how to step aside and say I've
devoted my life to you know, these little people, these
other you know, extensions of me. I deserve some piece too.

(20:57):
I deserve to put myself first too. I think that's
where a lot of people struggle. It's commendable that shared
me be like, you know what I mean.

Speaker 4 (21:01):
I have a friend I.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
Want to say he has six kids and he's aiming
for ten, and I'm like, nigga, you crazy, like there's
nothing left, Like.

Speaker 1 (21:13):
There's nothing left. It's crazy.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
I'm saying, like even to have ten kids, like to
want ten kids. I mean, procreation is a beautiful thing
when done right. What I mean by done wright is
like football player dude Sewn Alexander's name is he just
had his fourteenth child with his wife, Like that's cool.
If you can afford it. For me, I know that
anything past what I have now is too much. And
if there was ever like a slip and somebody called

(21:37):
me and was like, hey, I'm got your baby, I'd
be like, yeah, I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Are you sure?

Speaker 4 (21:42):
Pretty sure?

Speaker 1 (21:43):
Aren't you supposed to like get it checked like every
five years and then tell me that I think you are.

Speaker 3 (21:47):
I got checked when you're supposed to go back like
a week or two after you get it done.

Speaker 4 (21:51):
Yeah, And I did that and I had to leave
a sample in a cup.

Speaker 2 (21:55):
I think you should still go back like every five
years and leave a sample if I'm not mistaken, to
make sure it didn't reverse it.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
It doesn't reverse the way I describe it to people, right,
they ask me, how does it work? So I describe
it like trying to get to New Jersey from Philadelphia
without a bridge or a boat. Everybody jumps in the
water and they try to swim across. Most people will
not swim across from Philadelphia to New Jersey. They'll all

(22:20):
probably drown. That's the science behind of aseectomy. The bridge
is cut, they just remove the veaz difference. They split
it in half. They burn each end and then there's
no more bridge to New Jersey.

Speaker 1 (22:30):
This nigga think he building out a science.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
Guy, But that's that's the best way I can describe it.
The swimmers can't get there because there's no way to
get there. They can't cross the bridge. There's no bridge anymore,
so they can't get across. If you take a bunch
of people who can't swim and tell them to swim
across the Delaware River, they're all gonna drown.

Speaker 4 (22:47):
And that's the science.

Speaker 3 (22:48):
But one person could get across, maybe, but the likelihood
is like ninety nine perple. We're talking about people who
can't swim. Maybe this person grabs a branch and pulls
himself across. Maybe he finds a tire and floats across.
That's the one who can get out and create a baby.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
As long as we're saying there is a possibility.

Speaker 4 (23:06):
It's a very, very sim possibility. There's a football player.

Speaker 3 (23:10):
He had aseected me and kept having kids after his
So either he lied to his lady or the doctor
was trash.

Speaker 4 (23:15):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (23:16):
Maybe he told her he got one and he didn't,
but and he had multiple kids. You can't look it up.
Antonio Crammarti.

Speaker 1 (23:22):
This has been a moment in science, brought to you
by the voice of the vasectomy.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
So yeah, so no, but seriously, like that's the science.
It's like they cut the bridge.

Speaker 2 (23:31):
I want to know, Like, what's the what's the reaction
from men when you tell them you have a vasectomy?

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Nigga, you crazy? Really, I'm getting my shit cut?

Speaker 1 (23:39):
So your friends, none of them.

Speaker 3 (23:41):
Like one of my homeboys, he's uh, I ain't gonna
say his name, I ain't gonna say his age, I
ain't gonna say nothing.

Speaker 4 (23:46):
Ain't given no clues.

Speaker 3 (23:47):
But he he likes to do it. Earl.

Speaker 4 (23:49):
We'll call him Earl.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
He uh. I told him, I'm like, yo, you should
you know? I mean, he like, I ain't doing that
ship You're gonna keep having kids?

Speaker 4 (23:59):
He like it is what it is. If that's God's will,
then so be it. But then I have other homeboys
who I told to do it. Some took too long
to do it, but they eventually did it.

Speaker 3 (24:08):
When I say they took too long, they started having
more kids and stuff before they followed the advice.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
But shout out to my doctor. I sent a lot
of my homeboys to his office.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
Do you get a discount.

Speaker 4 (24:15):
Do I get a discount? My insurance paid for it?

Speaker 3 (24:17):
No?

Speaker 1 (24:18):
I mean like, do you get a kickback when you
were for people?

Speaker 4 (24:20):
No, I just want to pay it forward. I don't
need a kickback.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
God gonna bless you.

Speaker 3 (24:25):
Yeah, because I homies, like one of my homies was
the first one to do it, I'm not the first one.
My homie A was and he did it in his
twenties and he was like, I didn't even want one kid,
and I was in a relationship that happened. It is
what it is, but I know I'm not having too
And he got it done in his twenties, so he
put the bug in my ear to make it like

(24:45):
a thing. Because I started entertaining ideas in my mid
twenties because I met my youngest daughter's mom when she
was when I was twenty seven, so the idea hit
my mind twenty four or twenty five.

Speaker 4 (24:54):
But I'm like, I'm way too young.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
The doctor's probably gonna tell me no, because they generally
tell you like yo, like this is a permanent decision.
And because you have a consultation with the doctor, you
have one sit down. It's like five minutes, Like sure, you.

Speaker 4 (25:04):
Want to do this.

Speaker 3 (25:05):
Yeah, you know it's not reversible. Your insurance won't pay
for the reversalor they'll pay for the procedure, but they
won't pay to get it reversed. If you want to reverse,
you got to pay out of pocket. I was like, yeah,
I'm cool with it, and I went ahead with it
a week later. But that was to my my homeboys.
Point was like, yo, I knew I didn't want two kids. Yeah,
And I kind of thought he was crazy at first,
but then as I started flirting with the ID, I
didn't think.

Speaker 4 (25:24):
That he was as crazy as I once thought.

Speaker 3 (25:26):
And when I got it done, and I'm not saying
I might here just having guilt free intercourse with everybody
in the world, but but but but in those times
where maybe it's not available, and you know, we adults,
so you know, everybody, nobody's gonna stop and put their pants,
not going to run to the gas station. It's very
rare that that happens. But you know, I don't want

(25:47):
to be in the position of like having that thought
in my mind that I can have another baby. So
in that and that in that sense, I don't have
the worry that a lot of people have yeah, and
I'm not celebrating it, like I'm not spiking the football
about it.

Speaker 4 (25:59):
But I'm just like.

Speaker 2 (26:01):
I can go home and know that I'm not having
to be Yeah, I might have chlamythia, but won't have
a baby. So now we're gonna do a few hot takes.
I'm gonna say true or false, agree or disagree. Uh,
you know, you may add your little spikes on it,
like Salt Bay if you want to. I feel like

(26:22):
you deciding. You know, you don't want to have a sectim.
You're really taking charge of your life and you really
have different mentality. So I'm curious to see what's your
standpoint is on some other topics. All right, let's do
some hot takes hot tags. First one, men say they
want peace but keep dating women who start wars.

Speaker 4 (26:40):
I'm guilty of that.

Speaker 1 (26:41):
True or false, nigga? Anybody don't.

Speaker 4 (26:47):
I forgot It's true? False true, very true. True.

Speaker 3 (26:52):
Spot it felt like a question, Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (26:57):
Next, yeah, hold on, let me try to find my
spot in my notes. Now you know, maybe, okay, I'm
not asking you again. Also, Next, a vasectomy don't fix
community dick behavior.

Speaker 1 (27:09):
It just makes it safer.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
I don't know if that's the answer is safer. I
think the answer is.

Speaker 4 (27:22):
Less worry.

Speaker 3 (27:23):
I mean there's still things to worry about, but there's
less worry about the reason you got the viseected.

Speaker 4 (27:28):
Me like, kids.

Speaker 1 (27:32):
Don't look at me.

Speaker 3 (27:32):
It is you hot takes.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
They got to answered the question.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Hot takes with the voice of the vasectomy. Next crazy.

Speaker 3 (27:40):
That's crazy.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Women say they want soft love, but still far from
men who text you up.

Speaker 1 (27:47):
True true means you feel that way for a majority.

Speaker 4 (27:52):
Well, I mean there was either one or the other.
What said.

Speaker 3 (27:56):
I don't think second you up is a bad thing
because maybe you up. Be yes and it's like, yo,
look out the window.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
He's not going to be out there with a boom box.

Speaker 2 (28:04):
He's not going to be out there standing with his
Bible ready for a Bible study.

Speaker 1 (28:08):
He's not calling the prayer line.

Speaker 4 (28:11):
But there's guys who do.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
So you don't know that. So I might text you like, yo,
you up. I'm not saying me, but a man might
text you you up and you might be like, yeah,
what's up? Hey, come to the door.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
If you text me you up? I know that leads
to one thing.

Speaker 4 (28:26):
Are we talking about at nighttime? In the morning.

Speaker 1 (28:28):
Don't talk, you play with me. Don't talk, you play
with me, don't play with me.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
I was thinking the morning.

Speaker 2 (28:33):
I don't next next, next in the morning, let's go
to breakfast, go to hell.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
That's where we're going to go next. Men want submission,
but don't believe in direction.

Speaker 3 (28:48):
Way.

Speaker 4 (28:49):
No men want submission from men.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Want submission from a woman. We're talking about majorities here.

Speaker 4 (28:54):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (28:56):
Thank you. That's all I really want to.

Speaker 4 (28:58):
I mean, I ain't detected.

Speaker 3 (29:00):
To people who know me and probably gonna see this
episode and follow me on social media. I know I
don't cap for women. I don't cape, and I don't
I don't know what's.

Speaker 4 (29:07):
What I'm looking for. I don't simp. I ain't no simp.
But I think a lot of men.

Speaker 3 (29:11):
First of all, I don't think any man who feels
I don't think any man who desire submission has to
ask for it.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
I think any man to please say that one more time,
say that warment time for the people who did not
hear you.

Speaker 3 (29:23):
Think any man who desires submission, if you're doing the
things that she's supposed to do, a woman will naturally
fall in live, but not just anyone, because some women
are you know, they they like to fight, and it's
just the way it is.

Speaker 1 (29:34):
You just all right, come on, we were doing good.
Let's get back to what we're doing.

Speaker 4 (29:38):
We're gonna carry all directions.

Speaker 3 (29:39):
I think if you prove yourself capable to be a leader,
and she naturally trusts you, Like I've had women say
to me, I really feel safe when I'm with you,
Like when we out, I know, you know you got
your doing with you or whatever, but you're a big guy.
I feel comfortable around you. I feel safe, And that
to me is like one of the things that gets
to that submissive thing. But I don't even like the
word submissive because I would never tell a woman's father,

(30:01):
your daughter needs to submit to me, because I look
at it like in terms of like when I was
a kid wrestling, like submit, I'm being honest.

Speaker 4 (30:09):
To submit.

Speaker 3 (30:09):
What's to give up, to give into someone's power, to
their will. And I don't want a woman to feel
like she has to give into my will, like yeah,
like it's a partnership. But I do feel like in
certain situations, like when you're with a woman, a woman
has to trust your judgment, trust your street smarts. So
like if I'm with a woman and we like out
in public and we're having a good time and tell
them like, yo, we gotta get a out of here.

(30:31):
I don't want to argue with you in the middle
of the place, like why we gotta leave. I want
you to trust my instincts and let me explain to
you in the car while we had to go.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
The crazy part is it's power and being around a
man that you can turn your brain off for. And
I know, you know, girls say that on the internet
and it sounds like it don't make sense. But if
you're around a man that you feel comfortable with, like
I know, if something's going to happen, he has my
best interest in mine. He's going to make sure we're safe.
He's going to make sure I get back home to
my kids.

Speaker 3 (30:57):
And I ain't talking about like we arguing in the Yeah,
I'm saying like, remember, I had to pass as a
police officer, so I have I'm gonna have made enemies.
But there are people in the past who may not
like me for one reason or another. Maybe they went
to jail for eight years or whatever. I was just
doing my job.

Speaker 4 (31:11):
It is what it is.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
But maybe that person told me, yo, when I see
you is up and I might be out with my
kid and my girl. And if I say to you like, yo,
it's time to go, it's time to go, I don't
want to well, why.

Speaker 4 (31:21):
We got none?

Speaker 3 (31:22):
No, let's go now, And I don't want to have
to like not drag you out, but I don't have.
The time is of the essence, and sometimes things have
to happen. And the more time I spend explaining this.

Speaker 1 (31:31):
To you, the last time we had to get out
of here to react.

Speaker 3 (31:33):
And I need to get you up out of here
and I'll explain in the car when we are on
seventy six safely going home.

Speaker 4 (31:38):
But in this moment, I need you to trust me.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
I don't think it's even always an altercation thing like
just knowing your man has your best interests at mine.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
Well, I mean, you know, sometimes we drinking sometimes whatever.
But I need you to be able to look at
my face. Yeah, and no we're not playing He's not
playing right.

Speaker 4 (31:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (31:53):
This isn't like I'm tired. I want to get out
of here. This is some serious shit is going on
and it's time to go. Yeah, And I want you
to look at me like, oh, all.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
Right, y'all, my man said I gotta leave. I got
a holler at y'all.

Speaker 3 (32:04):
I don't want to have to ark why I gotta leave.
I'm having a good time because I said, so, let's go.
But that's the thing about submission improving and STLFF capable
to leave.

Speaker 1 (32:11):
I just want to talk.

Speaker 2 (32:12):
I don't want to go on a tangent too far
about this particular topic. But I think that a lot
of times the men who be saying things.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
Like they don't even have shit, they don't have anything
like myself like to not not not to get too
dig with whatever. But I'm a homeowner, I have a car,
I have, I got a few hours, nothing crazy.

Speaker 4 (32:30):
I'm okay.

Speaker 1 (32:32):
I'm getting a good Christmas gift this year, y'all. I
got it on wax he got.

Speaker 3 (32:36):
But you know me, you never hear me talk like that,
you know, when we talk pretty often, you never hear
me say things like, oh, woman gotta submit to me.
And I don't believe in that conversation. I just think
that some things are are done without being talked about.

Speaker 1 (32:48):
I think the men who have that presence, though, when
they have those things, they don't have to say it.

Speaker 3 (32:52):
I agree, like my my daughter's grandfather is somebody I
look up to, my oldest daughter's grandfather, I look up
at my whole women like the highest regard. And and
when he talks, I listen and he but he has
an air of masculinity around him. That the way he stands,
the way he sits, the way he talks to people,
the way he communicates.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
When I look at me, I see a man. I
see somebody myself after and.

Speaker 3 (33:16):
Over the years, as I've gotten older, I felt like
I kind of mold myself more to the way he is,
into the way that I used to be. But it
comes with maturity too. But to say I say that,
to say, I watch how his wife is with him.
She's never uncomfortable, but she's always at his service. But
he's always at hers too, And it's never he never
has to tell her to do anything. She knows his

(33:37):
she knows what makes him go, and he knows what
makes her go. And I never heard them talk about
submitting to each other. It's just a natural fit. And
I think when the fit is natural, and you have
a woman like women say they want to be led,
but they don't really want to be led and they
want to be.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
I don't think women want to want to I'm just
getting right.

Speaker 3 (33:53):
I don't.

Speaker 4 (33:54):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
I don't think women. I don't think that women want no.

Speaker 3 (33:59):
No, no, no no.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
I don't even think that's it.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
I think there is a plethora of men who are
not in a position that they want to be, and
because they are not where they are in their lives,
they turn around and take that aggression out on you
and saying they want someone to submit to them because
they are actually submitting to someone else in their day
to day life because they're not where they want to be.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
You think you could submit to a man who's working
towards the things that he wants.

Speaker 2 (34:23):
To absolutely, who has a plan and who's actually working. Yes,
but to a man who's like I can submit to
a person who's following their dreams. I cannot submit to
someone who's a SoundCloud rapper.

Speaker 4 (34:36):
But what if he's a good SoundCloud rapper.

Speaker 2 (34:39):
If he's a good SoundCloud rapper, you would know that
after an x amount of projects, it's time to venture
out into other avenues. You can be you can be
successful in your SoundCloud career, but what else are you doing?

Speaker 3 (34:51):
Okay, fair enough, you see what I'm saying talking about
because I've heard dudes like live.

Speaker 4 (34:55):
With their moms.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
I I met a man not so long ago, and
you know, I'm very quick when we're speaking. So you're
trying to give another da da da da dad. Okay,
Well you know do you want kids?

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (35:08):
I want kids. Do you want to get married? Yeah?
Before I give you my number, because I don' want
wte nobody's time.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
So I need to listen. What are we doing our
do our values alone or not? I'm not wasting nobody's time.
I'm saving you because if we're going a date, we're
going three dates, and then you found out our values
on the line, you don't waste your money.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
So right up front, do we have the same values?
Do they align? Yes or no? Do you want to
have kids? Do you want to get married?

Speaker 2 (35:30):
This man says, yeah, I don't know because I get
married to like the right person. First red flag, Why
would you be getting married to the wrong person?

Speaker 1 (35:40):
No?

Speaker 2 (35:40):
No, Second, he says, I don't really want to give
half of what I own to somebody, Like I got
properties and stuff like that, Like I'm not really trying
to do all that for somebody. Four weeks later, I
found out that man does not have properties, and he
lives with his mother and it's not working. He is
not working towards properties. Because as you get niggas comfortable,

(36:03):
they start talking. He then started talking about the problems
with him trying to get the properties.

Speaker 4 (36:07):
Oh, okay, may monopoly.

Speaker 3 (36:11):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
You thought I was some Russian as bitch as you
probably going hit before then. So you have to explain yourself.

Speaker 3 (36:16):
See I never had to do that. I don't have
to lie about my past, my present, my future. I'm
thirty nine years old. I'm comfortable in my skiny. What
you see is what you get.

Speaker 4 (36:26):
Marriage.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
I'm lukewarm to the idea. But from his perspective, I
understand what he's saying to the right person.

Speaker 1 (36:34):
Why would you be marrying the wrong person?

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Because people present characters of themselves, they present false catanes,
and when they get into that place of comfortability aka marriage,
people change.

Speaker 4 (36:43):
And that's a two way street.

Speaker 3 (36:44):
Women think they're marrying the right man and then when
they get that ring, it's like surprised, motherfucker, my representative
is going now I'm here.

Speaker 2 (36:51):
I think that whenever there are stories of the woman
turned out to be a gold digger, or the nigga
ain't shit right there. There's never people that are in
their immediate circle that are like.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
Oh my god, I would have never known.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
Somebody is always saying I told you that shit don't
have it, but but hear me on, let me finish,
let me finish, Let me finish, let me finish. We
like to ignore red flags and then later on turn
around and say, Hinsteight is twenty twenty.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
No, it was it.

Speaker 2 (37:18):
Those are red flags, and you knowingly just ignored them.
You didn't want to look at that.

Speaker 3 (37:22):
Everyone has red flags. Everyone does. Nobody's perfect. Everybody has
a red flag. It's just a matter how red that
flag is. The flag could be pink, could be a light.
It could be a light. Red flag could be something
that you can work with. I'm not like I know
women who like are flat out about the money. That's
the biggest red flag to me. I'm going I don't
even want I'm not eve gonna play that game.

Speaker 4 (37:42):
I'm not buying.

Speaker 2 (37:43):
And there are some men who will try to convince
themselves that that's okay, and then later on they turn
around and say, she's a golden girl when she showed
you who she was up front.

Speaker 3 (37:52):
Well, I mean that just comes down to what you
willing to tolerate, how much you willing to put up with,
and if you have to buy a woman.

Speaker 4 (37:58):
Some people have to buy a woman, some people don't.

Speaker 1 (38:00):
I agree, Unfortunately, I agree these are ones we hot
taste cav how we get all the way.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
Down this hole because because it's a rabbit hole, it's
not a simple conversation of yes, no or whatever. It's
it's a conversation. But I do want to say this
about that, that conversation about marrying the right and wrong person.
History is our teacher, and we see these things not
work out. So you can only like wonder, like damn,
am I gonna be like that? Because remember when people
fall in love and get married and have children, it

(38:25):
was once a beautiful thing, and now these people hate
each other.

Speaker 4 (38:28):
Something went left, And.

Speaker 1 (38:30):
Honestly, sometimes it goes left ahead of time, we choose.

Speaker 3 (38:33):
To ignore it while I'm saying the times that it doesn't.
Sometimes they just go left and you sitting there wondering,
like damn, what happened? And that's where I'm saying, married
the wrong person. Maybe it's something about them that you
didn't see. Because people can hide things very well. I
could hide my viseectomy until I'm married. Get a woman
in married, be like, hey, guess what, I can't have
kids and you're married to me. Surprise, surprised. You know
what I'm saying, it's it's you. But how would she know?

(38:54):
She will know? So people can hide who they are,
hide things about themselves. And when we get to that place,
it's surprised. Motherfucker.

Speaker 4 (39:05):
I need all that. I need that.

Speaker 3 (39:08):
And so when he said I'll marry the right person,
what that just means is I really have to vet
this person very carefully and know that they got my back.
Little things like just the way they treat you, the
way they think about you, that the little things they do,
like if you know I like banana pudding and we're
in a relationship, you walk by a bakery, Oh he
likes bana pull Let me give some little things like,
oh he likes the eagles, let me give him this

(39:28):
egles hoodie. It's the little subtle shit that assures us.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
And what I'm saying is if you made it to.

Speaker 2 (39:37):
The four date mark, and she has not done that
at least one time, enough four dates, five four dates,
four dates, four dates, four dates is more than enough
for her to see a little eagle's key chain and say, yo,
I know he'd like that. Four dates is enough for
her to be walking on her way to her car
and pass a bakery and say, I'm about to go
link up with him.

Speaker 3 (39:55):
But these are also women who say I'm not cooking
for no nigga until we're married. Is there not the
women you want to marry, she don't know until yes,
because you don't cook.

Speaker 4 (40:04):
But you don't know right away. Though she might cook,
she's just not sharing it with you.

Speaker 1 (40:09):
That's another sign that she don't want to be there.
But people she don't want to do that about you.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
Trauma and the reasons like when last thing they got
cooked for he left me high and dry, and that's good.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Let them resolve that trauma and you go find somebody
who's already healed.

Speaker 3 (40:21):
You find out along the way. You don't know on
the first date. You find these things out later.

Speaker 1 (40:25):
That's why I said by the fourth date.

Speaker 3 (40:27):
I don't think the fourth date is nearly enough. I
don't think that's enough time. We can go four days
and twoies. I could take you out on Monday, Friday, Wednesday.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Okay, so I'll take that back within a month.

Speaker 4 (40:35):
I don't think a month is enough.

Speaker 1 (40:37):
I've never been with somebody.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
Who within a month didn't already show me an inkling
of who they really are, and I didn't choose.

Speaker 4 (40:42):
To be in a month. They could also show this
fake as representative who they are. You don't.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
You can only keep the mask on for so long.

Speaker 4 (40:48):
Yeah, but you can do it for more than a month.

Speaker 2 (40:49):
And I'm gonna tell you, after y'all stopped talking, what's
the first thing you do? You go to your friends
and say, I knew that girl was the X, Y
and Z because she did dead d da da da
da da.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
But you do know you just choose to ignore it.

Speaker 3 (41:01):
It's no different than the man in the beginning who
buys you flowers and chocolates and takes you on dates,
and when he gets comfortable, he just stops. And what
I'm saying is it doesn't happen in a month, It
can happen in three years.

Speaker 2 (41:10):
What I'm saying is, after it's over, the girl is
gonna say to her friends in the group chat, and
I knew that Nigga wasn't really about that life because
he brought me flowers from Trader Joes instead of the
actual flower.

Speaker 4 (41:21):
Three years to find out.

Speaker 1 (41:23):
It don't because how.

Speaker 3 (41:25):
Many people spend years together and they find out about
a minute they had no idea about, or.

Speaker 1 (41:30):
Unless it's about their sexuality.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
No, there's there's little things that people hide very well.
It's called manipulation.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Okay, manipulation is a thing. Do you agree that hindsight
is twenty twenty is also a thing?

Speaker 4 (41:41):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (41:43):
What I'm saying is when you say hindsight is twenty twenty,
you're just acknowledging the red flags that you chose to
ignore because because all you're doing is bringing up instances
that you should have paid attention to when it was happening,
but you ignored it because you saw the good in
that person and you wanted that person. We blatantly ignore
red flags because we want to see the good in people,

(42:03):
and then at the end of the situation we turn
around and say, huh.

Speaker 3 (42:07):
But again, everyone has a red flag. It's just a
matter of how red it is to the person viewing it.
To some one person, that's not that big of a deal.
To somebody else, it's a deal breaker.

Speaker 2 (42:15):
I feel like we should transition out of something healed
and grown, you know, us both you know, still being
in the dating pool, just on you know, different opposite
sides of the pool.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
You know, my pool has pre natal vitamins in it,
yours do not.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Right, your pool is dry. You're standing in the sandbox actually,
you know. So I wanted to ask you, what's one
thing men don't know about the sectomies that.

Speaker 3 (42:47):
You wish they did. It doesn't change anything, Like your
thing is not just going to stop working because of
there's no connection to that part of the system. It
is only to stop the the sperm from traveling through
and out. So like I forgot the exact science, I'm

(43:07):
not doing that right now. I think I want to say,
like either if your body stops producing it, or it
still produces it, but it just can't get across. It
just kind of just dies in you lives within and
they die in you, I guess, but they just stay
there or they just die and read multiply or whatever,
but they never make it to the place where they
can insiminate like a woman's egg. Yeah, So I'm be honest, yo,

(43:31):
Like I'm kids expensive and like my little one my oldest,
she's still a little spoiled, but not to the degree.

Speaker 4 (43:37):
Of my little one.

Speaker 1 (43:38):
So you just put her a car was two years ago.

Speaker 3 (43:42):
But I say that to say, like the things, that
the life that my little one lives now is the
one my oldest lived.

Speaker 4 (43:48):
But I know that I can't afford to do this
a third time, nor do I want to.

Speaker 3 (43:53):
So I'm telling y'all, man, if y'all got kids, and
you just are out here having unprotected sex, and you
are fertile, and and you sleep with multiple women and
shit like that, and you're not gonna wear protection because
I know everybody's not going to it's not always readily available,
and all that type of thing. Man, consider getting in
resected me. It changes nothing, but it's almost like future

(44:14):
financial security.

Speaker 4 (44:15):
It's peace of mind.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
It's less of a tie to somebody that you may
not want to be with. If you have multiple kids
by multiple women, you're probably not with any of their mothers.
You probably have three kids by three women, four kids
by four women, don't make it five. Be responsible to yourself,
be responsible to the kids that already hear, be fair
to them, and not continue to make children. And then
you may not have a car, so you got to

(44:36):
get on the bus and go. I'm not being funny,
like I'm being dead serious, but like being serious, you
might have to go take the bus to South Philly
to go pick up one kid, and after you get
that kid, you might have to take the bus back
to broad Street in the City Hall and then get
on the l and then go to fifty six in
Market to pick up kid two. And after that you
might have to get on the train again and go
to Darby to pick up kid three. That is not

(44:57):
a LIFEI vision for myself, and I have a car,
and I don't want to drive all over the city
picking fucking kids up. I have two children. My oldest
is twenty in on her own doing her things. She's flourishing,
and my little one lists five minutes from me. It's beautiful,
it's perfect. And that's the way that I you know
that I wanted my life to be. So when people
will be saying to me, like, man, you be doing
all this, you'd be going to Equals games, you'd be traveling,

(45:18):
and you'd be doing like, well, yeah, because I have
a bunch of fucking kids to take care of. I
had another kid, I probably would not be in probably
not being King Coon right now. I probably instead of
going to can Coon and Jamaica and Dominican Republic and
wherever else I want to go three four times a
year might be a one time thing a year. And
I desire travel more than I desire another kid.

Speaker 1 (45:37):
That's fire. I desire travel more than world like some.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Of the things I've been able to do this year.
Places I never thought I would see. I get to
see now and I don't have to worry about the
responsible of a child.

Speaker 1 (45:50):
Well, thank you for coming in sharing your message.

Speaker 4 (45:52):
Wants to be a forty five year old dad.

Speaker 3 (45:53):
To a fucking new born my future husband that nigga crazy.

Speaker 4 (46:01):
Better than me, I know.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Uh so tell the people where they can find you
at you can't.

Speaker 4 (46:07):
I am okay, she can put my social media.

Speaker 1 (46:10):
No, I'm not going put it on if you want
to share it.

Speaker 4 (46:12):
That's because you know why.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
I don't let me tell you why go ahead?

Speaker 3 (46:15):
Because I'm paranoid, right so, I'm nothing to look at.
In my mind, I'm nothing to look at. I'm just
the guy not like that, the dude that thinks he's
the ship that every woman wants. Some guys get the women.
But I'm parent with as fuck. So anytime somebody random me,
fo fuck you want.

Speaker 4 (46:28):
Who the fuck's in you? That's how I look at it,
Like who the Fu's in you? You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (46:32):
So studio is so chaotic right now, pull ups and ship,
but no, I am get me out of it.

Speaker 3 (46:42):
I am paranoid because it's like, it's like, why are
you following me? There's nothing to see most of my pages,
my children, you following me for ain't nothing to see here.

Speaker 4 (46:50):
So I'm very skittish.

Speaker 3 (46:51):
Somebody like tries to follow me, so I do the
I follow them first, they got to accept my request.
I gotta look at their page, make sure they're not
an opt, to see what the neighborhood they from, things
like that before I entertain that like that.

Speaker 4 (47:03):
But yeah, she posed it.

Speaker 2 (47:04):
You can have it, but you know, uh, follow me
on a gram at Stormy p p e A at
chocolate chip and sip and if you don't remember anything else,
please remember.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
I'll fish.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
I said, Hi, okay uh And if you don't remember
anything else, please remember you deserve king.

Speaker 1 (47:22):
I love you, guys, and I see you next week.