Ever found yourself going to comedic lengths to snap out of a bad habit? Well, here's a tale for you: our guest Steve Smaridge once gave his PlayStation a farewell swing with a baseball bat, all in the name of breaking free from its digital clutches. We sit down with Steve to lay out all the beauty in simplicity.
Learn how to ...
- Stop flipping through countless pages, we've all been there—drowning in self-help manuals that promise the moon
- Figure out the secret sauce to life's biggest questions found in the simplicity of ancient wisdom
- Get into 'Meditations' and the sort of deep, agenda-free insights that don't require a shopping spree to implement
- Embark on new challenges and the sheer joy of self-discovery
- Cut through the noise of modern life's relentless push towards things we're told to desire
- The real secret to success; keeping a promise to yourself
We share personal tales and easy-to-adopt strategies for sculpting a life of achievement that doesn't need an instruction manual. Tune in for a discussion that's bound to flip your perspective upside down—or at the very least, tickle those underappreciated nose hairs.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The best example that I have by this.
It was extreme like this was avery extreme example, but I was
playing way too much PlayStation, way too much like I was really
good at it.
Weird flex, I know, but therewas one day where I was like I
just need to make more money andfigure out my life, so I
destroyed it with a baseball bat.
You know what I do.
You know what I don't doanymore play PlayStation.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And by the end of the show you guys are gonna know
that everything is a lie.
And we got him hooked.
We gave him that, we gave himthe spicy hook.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Dude, thanks for having me on the primal man
podcast.
I will say I feel like I'mqualified to be here because I
have the most primal nose hairsof all time Really good 4k
cameras able to catch that one.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
So we're off to a good start my wife might, might
contend there and say that, saythat I have that title.
And Well, when we meet inperson down the road will, we'll
compare oh yeah yeah, you evertry to pluck them.
Yeah, she's tried to reach forhim in the car Before yeah, yeah
(01:26):
, I'd say you cause a caraccident.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
That's like a sneeze fit just waiting to happen.
It's four minutes foruninterrupted sneezes.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Nose hairs are also a lie.
I.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
People want you to remove them.
It's like why, who they bother?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, they filter stuff out too like sure yeah.
You take the air filter offyour car engine.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
No, no I.
Try to open up my nostrils.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yeah, do you use nasal strips at night?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yes, I like breathing , and, and so there's a large
reason why I started doing thisis the so I read a book called
breath, and it was literallyjust about breathing.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
James Nassar.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yep, exactly, and how .
It's like how we have so manydysfunctions Just due to the
fact that, like we don't knowhow to breathe and so be like,
oh man, you know, I'm in a badmood.
What the hell's going on like.
I gotta reevaluate this.
Could reevaluate this?
It's like no, you just snoredat night, that's it.
It's like you just breathe thenote of your mouth when you
should be breathing out of yournose.
If you learn how to breathe alittle bit more calmly, you'll
(02:40):
probably be a little bit morecalm.
Like really simple stuff.
And it's like I didn't have tolike revisit anything about my
day-to-day.
It's that to like breathethrough my nose and so I wear
those things religiously likeevery night.
I actually didn't wear it theother night and I was woken up
in the middle of the nightbecause I was keeping up my
partner from snoring too loud.
So highly recommend them.
(03:02):
Big dude problems for sure.
Yeah you get above 220, it'slike you're snoring, no matter
how hard you try.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I?
I can only imagine, becauseI'll tap 215 every once in a
while.
And yeah, right there with you.
Why do the people want tolisten to you today?
They know that they're gonnahear everything's a lie.
But why?
Why are you qualified to speakon that?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Because I like stating the facts and telling
the truth and I think a lot ofthings exist currently to sell
you something and a lot ofFitness coaches, health coaches
etc.
They always push the narrativelike they found this new secret,
and I think it's so evident inFitness coaching because it's
like of how bad they are, whocan like sniff the bullshit very
(03:50):
quickly.
But I also think that, like youlook at any Real marketing
campaign and as long as you askthe question like what, what's
their narrative?
Like, what do they want me tobelieve, then you can really the
Understand of like well, whatis actually important to me?
And if you don't have thequestion of, if you don't have
that question answered, you'rethe easiest person to sell
(04:13):
things to in the world becauseit's like we can just tell you
what you want and you nod yourhead because other people have
it and then you just buy thething and that's how all
marketing works.
It's like a huge bummer to me.
Like as soon as I realized likethat's how other people, like
that's how big corporations getyou to give them money, I was
like super bummed, like I tooklike a week.
We were just like tellingpeople that they need something,
(04:38):
that we're telling people thatthey need something that they
don't have in order for us tohave more money.
It's like that's crazy, butit's like we all do it, and so
it's just like you just got tounderstand that Everybody plays
the game.
Just know the rules of the game.
That you play is basically likemy takeaway, and so it's like,
if you're gonna play the game,just know the rules, and it's
like the rules are youcommunicate to people that
(05:00):
there's something that you havethat they need, and the way that
you do that is you tell themthat they need it by telling
them that they'll be happier ifthey have it.
That's like oh fuck, crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Crazy idea.
Where did you learn about allthis?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Um, I've read Over the past three years some
ungodly number of books.
It was like 1400 books orsomething.
So I would, I listened, I speedlistened to audiobooks.
I'd recommend doing that.
I listened to books at threeand a half X speed and I
listened to them for two hoursevery day.
I get through like seven hoursof audiobooks.
(05:41):
And then I also took a speedreading course and and so I was
I got my words permitted up tolike 1400 words.
1400 words.
And so I read an absurd numberof books over three years.
And I remember reading one ofthe last books that I read since
I've like taken a pause onreading.
It was Ed, my let's book.
(06:02):
I remember I was like halfwaythrough it and I was like, okay,
I think I get it.
Yeah, you just want me to buywhatever it is that you sell
after this book.
It's like that's what this is.
It's like you want me to go toan event, you want me to do
something, like you just want meto keep listening to you.
(06:22):
I was like huh, and so you don'tlike the.
I think a book of life or abook on life could really be
distilled down to like two pages, but because we have so much
time to fill and because we havebrains that like think we make
all these complicated rules andwe study a lot and it's like man
(06:43):
Realistically like it'sself-improvement and find
something that you enjoy doingand stick to it and learn, and
part of sticking to it isenjoying the thing that you do.
So I think that it was just itcame down to like reading so
much and then realizing theunderlying narrative between all
of it.
We just like you just buy morestuff.
(07:04):
Like that really is what itcame down to.
Now this comes from like bookspost internet yeah, books for
your internet.
When people like actually wrotefor the sake of writing, that's
where you get like reallyuseful books.
Like further, you go back tolike like Marcus really just
wasn't trying to get you to buya Fucking 2700 dollar coaching
(07:25):
program.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Marcus really didn't know his meditations would be
published.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Exactly like that dude was, like he was just
riffing and so he he had said alot of wise things, and so I've
always kind of I've had a lot ofEpiphanies, thoughts,
reflection, whatever you want tocall it, and then it'll be like
fuck, I bet some Greek dude inthe toga said this 2000 years
ago and it's like sure enough,greek dude in the toga, not new
(07:50):
information.
Life is pretty simple as ahuman being.
We just have complicatedtechnology and it's like not
much has changed.
Bro.
Like do something useful, do itoften, do it well, and you'll
probably be fulfilled at least Iwould be.
Anyways, like if you findsomething useful to do and you
do it often, and you do it tohave the best review ability,
(08:10):
it's like Do that for two weeksand tell me you had a bad time.
Like that's really it well,yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
And in people not knowing what they actually want
and in their own narrative, andthey get fed 18 different
directions on social media.
I'm a big believer that that'swhere this whole All search for
purpose has come from.
Like I need to find my purpose?
Well, yeah, and then you'reconsuming 30 different creators
(08:40):
content every day, neveractually taking a second to slow
down and figure out what youwant.
And I mean to to what you saidabout Do something consistently
and enjoy it.
And and when you, when you doconsistently, you'll get better
at it and then you'll enjoy itmore.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Yes.
Yeah, it's a lot easier toenjoy stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
There's two things that you said.
There is Um, I'll tackle thesecond thing first, so you will.
Everything sucks when you firststart something, and it's like
anytime that you start somethingnew, there's always this fear
Like I'm gonna be bad at it.
It's like that's the point.
It's like I just don't like,like I'm just so confused as to
(09:23):
how you think you will be goodat something after having zero
experience with it.
It just boggles my mind and soyou know anybody who Follows me
or looks, if you Google me afterthis, you'll see.
In the past month, it's likeI've started to produce content.
It's like it's all bad, likenone of it's good, like I'm not
proud of any of it, but it's alljust like reps, like I have to
(09:45):
figure out how to be better.
It's like I'm not gonna be ablehow to.
I'm not gonna be able to figureout how to be better unless I
start.
And so it was like just pureacceptance of like I'm gonna be
terrible, but like, dude, mebeing terrible, I still had like
20,000 people consume what Iwas saying.
Like that is insane, likethat's a ton of people, like if
(10:06):
I was in a room and I walkedinto that room and I had 20,000
people listening to me and allthey heard we say was a sentence
.
I'd be like, oh my god, manypeople but I.
And then there's this othernarrative of people saying like,
oh, that's only 20,000 people.
Yeah, what are you gonna do?
It's like I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure that 20,000people 200 years ago you would
(10:33):
have been called a god, and it'slike you just have like an
unlimited amount of resources inorder to help you be better.
So I think that there's a tonof punishment that comes with
Learning something new.
If the only thing that youfocus on is the punishment Like
if you don't know what rewardyou seek, or if the reward you
(10:57):
seek is far too large, you'renot gonna, you're not gonna have
a good time In the short term,and then you will also prolong
how long it takes in order foryou to have a good time.
And so it's like some of thecoaching that I give is like you
just got a lower your bar.
Like I give that coaching a lotof like I.
I'm so confused, like you.
(11:17):
I will talk to business owners.
You say they would like toadmit.
I had this conversationyesterday.
I had a business owner hop onthe phone with me, he says yeah,
my goal is 500 grand a month.
I'm like okay, well, you'recurrently doing a hundred.
What changes in your day-to-dayif you're doing 500?
I have no idea.
And so this will bring me backto the first thing you said is
(11:39):
that I think that there's astrong difference Between what
people want and what peopleought to want, and I think a lot
of times people spend so muchtime Focusing on what they ought
to want rather than what theydo want, and so to actually
answer the question of like whatdo I want, you have to dive
(11:59):
into like, well, who the hellare you?
And that's a really deep likethat takes some time.
Like that's not just like, oh,I'm Chase, they're all on Steve.
It's like who am I?
It's like well, I like thesethings, I don't like these
things.
When I do this, I feel good.
When I do this, I hate myself.
It's like you got a swordthrough a whole mess of crap in
(12:21):
order to accurately answer thequestion who am I?
So that you can answer thequestion what do I want?
And If you continue to consumewhat you ought to want Because
of the chase, of the rat raceand whatever, then you will
continue to wonder why you arenot happy, continuing to look
for the thing instead of justlooking inside and asking, well,
(12:43):
what the hell would make mehappy?
Like, let's just start withthat question of like, if you
had an Opportunity to be happy,what would that look like?
Not, what do you think it wouldlook like, but it's like, what
would it actually look like?
Yeah, and then it's like can wejust do that?
Can you do that and still beuseful to the world?
(13:05):
And when you actually ask thatquestion, you know what nobody
says.
What's that Nobody says theywould like to steal money from
old ladies.
Like nobody says that theywould like to do something like
heedless.
Nobody says, yeah, I'd reallylike to like coke and hookers,
all that.
It's like, oh you know what, ifI could do anything, I would
(13:26):
draw and help people.
It's like I would.
I would, you know, volunteer, Iwould do like I would
contribute, I would spend timetalking to people, but they
don't do it because they assumethat they it won't pay the bills
, or it's not gonna be enoughmoney, or it's new and they're
very to failing or whatever itis.
But the difference between whatyou ought to want and what you
(13:49):
actually want is literally.
It's usually usually speaking,I found it to be money Is people
will think that they ought towant to have the big house, the
whatever, the big box, big car,etc.
But it's like the thing thatthey actually want is just to
like have coffee in the morning,kiss their kids, maybe like
(14:10):
Walk a trail, like very simple,like natural For lack of a
better term like ancestralbehaviors, like that's what we
were doing 400 years ago.
Yeah family fitness.
Thank you, simple things.
So this idea of Making moneyfor the sake of making money
(14:34):
just sounds so stupid likeCanada.
But what are you gonna do withall of it?
It's like I'll give it back tothe world.
It's like, anyway so.
I think a lot of people want todo is they want to make the
world a better place?
Oh, and I think, in order forthem to do that, they have a
hard time getting over thebarrier that, in order for the
(14:56):
world to be a better place, theywill probably make less money,
and or they don't know how tomonetize the thing that makes
the world a better place, and soI think bridging that gap for
people has been really useful,of like, well, maybe you just
have less money or you just dothe thing that is useful to the
world, that makes you feel good,and you find a way to make it
(15:17):
money.
But I think a lot of people endup in jobs that they don't like
and a mission statement thatthey don't buy into and just so
much nonsense because of safety,security, pension.
Yeah, the neighbors got a boat.
I'll buy a boat.
I'm three years away from thatboat.
Here's my year-end bonus.
(15:37):
Fucking can't get the boat.
What a miserable way to live.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Some people go out into the world to find
themselves and others go intothemselves to find their world.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
That's a.
That's a chase original.
It was born out of a journalingsession on a beach in Punta
Cana with a couple of grams ofpsilocybin and Everything you're
saying right there, man.
Like people lose themselves towin the rat race and I what I
would.
I'm curious about your thoughts.
(16:15):
You know some people might justneed to make less money and you
know I know like about tenyears ago the happiness index
was $70,000 a year.
With the inflation since then,it's likely a little more.
If you had to toss out a numberof like Less money and still
enough to to do what you feellike you want to do in this
(16:36):
world, where where's that rangeland for people?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Hmm, I think it's so person dependent, because I
think a lot of people, I dothink that there are people who
get joy out of saving a dollar,like I think that there's like
this energy that they have oflike people pay $400 for this
service I'm gonna find a way todo it for seven or 15 and so I
(17:02):
think that that inherentlybrings them joy.
And so I Think the way thatI've answered this question is I
think that there's three levelsto it is Level one is what do I
need?
How much money do I need inorder to survive?
Like basic, keep the roof overmy head, keep food in the fridge
, not get huge.
(17:23):
Like my diet costs a lot ofmoney, but it's like what do I
need to, like survive?
So that's step one.
That's like level one how muchmoney do you need to survive?
And Then you can ask thequestion of what do I need to do
to replace how I'm currentlyliving?
How much money is my currentlifestyle costing me?
(17:44):
And in answering that questionor defining that, you can also
take the opportunity to revisitdo you actually have the
lifestyle that you want to have?
So then it becomes what is thelifestyle that you want to have.
And then I think, just plan that, like literally, just look at
like what is the life that youwould like to have, not like
(18:05):
what house you want to live in,how much money in the bank
account, all that stuff.
Like, candidly, it just itdoesn't do it for me.
It's like what is the day today that you wish to have.
Then, once you know the day today you wish to have, how much
does that cost?
And then, three is is thereanything that that would make
that day to day better?
(18:26):
And then, if yes, that is thething that you strive towards.
And that comes to increasingyour income, et cetera.
And so right now and the reasonwhy I came up with these three
levels is like this is how Ikind of mark my investment
income of like can I so myinvestment income affords me my
(18:48):
ideal lifestyle today?
It won't always do that, and soit's like I basically just
don't need to work, like I'mgood enough at like investing
and trading and owning realestate, that it's like I just
don't need to work because Irequire so little to maintain my
ideal lifestyle.
I've made enough money thatit's like good.
And so this my coach calls is aposition of fuck you.
(19:11):
It's like I basically have fuckyou money and it's like I can
now do the things that Iactually want to do.
It's like there's nobody haspower over me, like nobody.
It's like I can do whatever Iwould like to do.
And that has some demons withinit as well, because when you
can do whatever you like to do,you're faced with a question
(19:33):
well, what do I like to do?
And a lot of people honestlyjust like following instructions
, and that's why a lot of peoplehave jobs, because it's really
hard to be an entrepreneurbecause there's no manual, like
nobody's got an onboardingpackage for here's how to start
a business that solves aspecific.
Like nobody has that, and soit's a big part of it is just
(19:54):
like figuring it out, tryingstuff, talking to people who
have done it, talking to peoplewho you think might know the
answer.
And so now I'm in this positionwhich, like I can just talk to
people, I can think throughproblems I have.
I work with great people.
I have one company that I workwith and I just love what they
(20:16):
do so much.
That's like I just stay aroundbecause it's like I want to see
where they go, but the moneythat I make from that versus the
money that I make from myinvestments is like 20%, and so
it's like, yeah, it's nice, butit's also just like not the way
that I'm making my money todayanymore, and I think that's why
it's like I was talking to afriend about this.
(20:37):
If in you know, this isn't tosay that like if you're above 30
, it's too late or whatever, butit's like if you get rich young
, holy crap, that is like themost overpowered thing that
nobody fucking talks about.
Like if you, if you're under 30, if you're right now, if you're
24, all you should be focusedon is getting rich, because it's
(20:58):
like compound interest has justso much time to help you, so
much time, and so I'm just likethat will be my, that will be my
focus.
It's just like, if you're 18,like you should together, and
you will thank me later 100%,100%.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
You know what you're talking about there reminds me
of Justin Donald's book thelifestyle investor.
You know having investmentincome that you know he talks
about in there like hey, if wewant a new car, we get a cash
flow and asset that pays forthat new car.
You know, having investmentincome just provides for the
lifestyle that you want.
That's so massive.
What you said around like Idon't, I don't need the money
(21:39):
and allows me to coach as I wantto.
I want to.
I want to break open a pointabout society in general there.
And then I have a question foryou as well, and by all means,
you're so good at putting pinsand things and responding to
both.
150 years ago, we weren't ableto go out and do whatever we
wanted.
(22:00):
We were 150 years ago, I mean1880.
We were 1870.
We were still on wagons andgetting shot at with poison
arrows at times, depending onwhich side of things we're on.
You know it's.
It's an interesting paradox.
We find ourselves in now wherewe have this time to do whatever
we want and on a certain level,it's like to go back to the
(22:23):
whole.
Well, my purpose, my purpose,my purpose.
Well, is it just that we havetoo much free time on our hands
and we're still figuring out howto fill that in this little
blip of existence.
And a more direct question howhelpful would it be for, like
there's going to be, that I needto get out of this hole for
(22:45):
some people building businessesor building coaching practices,
and how freeing would it be forthem to start focusing on the
other side of it as opposed togetting out of that hole?
Would it be freeing withoutleaving?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Okay, hit me with a question one more time.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Do you think it would be freeing for a coach or a
business owner to focus more onthe freedom they're creating
rather than the freedom they'recreating rather than?
I need to do this to get out ofthis hole.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Okay, I think both are useful.
So, to respond to what you said, I think that human beings have
two purposes Stay alive andhave fun.
We've kind of just made it waymore complicated than that, and
I'm going to let you know in alittle secret most people have
fake jobs.
Most people do things and solveproblems that we created for no
(23:51):
good reason, and so it's likeif we're talking 200 or 150
years ago, like whatever thetimeline was, it was like most
of those people had real jobs.
They focused on health, keepingpeople alive, keeping people
clothed, contributing to theircommunity, and the way that
people lived 150 years ago isbecause things took time and
(24:14):
they took effort.
The only focus they had wasstaying alive and contributing
to the community.
So 1870, I don't know thehistory of that well, but it's
like I'm imagining they didn'thave when was electricity 88?
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Yeah, shortly after somewhat time after that.
I think we're like post civilwar at 1870.
Yeah, If I know.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
So it's like we don't even have electricity yeah, oh,
my goodness man and barely haveagriculture, and so it's like
people needed to contribute inevery which way to not only keep
themselves alive, but alsocreate a community in which was
focused on keeping others alive,because we knew that we can do
(25:00):
it alone.
I was like, holy crap, I haveto keep myself alive, my wife
alive, my kids alive, oh, butthis guy also has to do the same
thing.
I bet if we work together, wehave a better chance at this.
Yeah, and it became a lot oflike humans versus the
environment, which became theother people in the environment
(25:23):
became evil, wars, etc.
So, anyway, I think that thepeople who were in the
environment, who were in theenvironment, that we have this
amazing opportunity now toactually like.
There's never been a bettertime to be alive.
People will say it's like, ah,and what it used to be.
It's like dude, there's neverbeen a better time to be alive.
(25:47):
You have, it's so easy to be aliteral God, like Taylor Swift
is currently being treated likea God.
It is absurd, like idolized tothe nth degree.
Oh my gosh, it's just soridiculous.
So I look at this as Humanbeings have so much opportunity
(26:09):
to actually ask the questionwhat the hell would I like to do
while I'm here?
And then they can do that thing.
Crazy Like if somebody says Iwould like to see more of what
Mother Nature has given us.
It's like you can get on aplane and do that.
That's just like wild.
They used to take generations.
(26:30):
Like I can get from here to Peru.
I'm in Canada.
It's like I can get to here toPeru in eight hours.
It's like that used to take twopeople like a hundred years to
get there.
It's just mind boggling so good.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
And that used to in the span of human existence.
That used to was like the blinkof an eye in history, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
And so I think that it's just like this concept of
freeing is so new to humans.
It's like what do I want?
It's like a question thatpeople didn't have the
opportunity to ask.
Therefore, nobody really knowsit's like, and that's why I
think a lot of like what we wantis just to contribute to others
.
And if you actually think aboutwhat that question is, it's
(27:17):
like OK, well, who am I?
What do like?
What is it that I like doing?
What do I not like doing?
It's like everybody just likesgetting a hug, everybody likes
telling somebody else that theydid a good job, everybody likes
being told that they did a goodjob.
And like without others, whatam I Like if this world like
let's say, you wake up tomorrow,nobody else on this planet
(27:39):
exists, what do you do?
It's like that would be prettymiserable, right.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
I mean for the first, like if I didn't have my wife
and daughter and I was a singleguy and I woke up and nobody
else on this planet existed, Iprobably just lay in the sun for
a couple hours, then I getbored and it'd be miserable.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I would be.
I think everybody would bemiserable.
Yeah it's like the point ofexperiences is to share them
with people, and so it's likesure you can drive a Ferrari
really fast around a couple oflaps.
But it's like who are you goingto talk to about it?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Well, and let me ask you this when you see a Ferrari,
do you ever remember the persondriving it or do you remember
the Ferrari?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Well, I live in Ottawa, bro, so I actually have
the nice car here.
I don't know.
I will say I've never seen aFerrari, or I don't remember any
Ferrari drivers.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Okay, yeah, To that point.
People are just got donereading the psychology of money.
I read slower than you.
There's a chapter in therecalled the man in the car and he
makes that point in there.
We want these cars, thesethings that you know.
To our earlier point in thisconversation, that we've been
told that we're supposed to havebecause the status came, and we
(29:02):
think that everybody's lookingat us.
They're just looking at our car.
Hmm, it's an interestingsomething to be said there about
you know the thread that we'vebeen dancing around here about
how do you define yourself?
How do we define who we trulyare?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
And how do you do that?
And I think, honestly speaking,that just comes from like
objective observation and Ithink, like, just write down
what it is that you do.
So really interesting is wehave this idea of like who we
can be and like how we respond,how we would react in these
(29:46):
different situations.
But it's like if you actuallyspent, if you actually ask
somebody who knows you, well,there's what you think you would
do and then there's what youwould actually do.
And so it's like in terms ofhuman observation or a self like
objective observation of likewhat we would do in a given
situation.
Most people straight up, bad atit.
I give no validity to likepersonality tests or EMFG
(30:12):
whatever, because it's like youjust don't know how you behave
in different situations.
There's how you want to behaveand then there's how you
actually behave.
And I think that bridging thegap between how you want to
behave and then how you actuallybehave and then accurately
assessing because this goes bothways Like you can want to
behave a certain way and thenhow you behave is different, but
(30:32):
you can also behave a differentway and then say that you did
it differently and which is justdistorted reality, and so I
think that like it goes bothways, and so either do more
things or say less.
Very simple.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's so true I've talked about.
You know, in the mindset andpersonal development space,
people can essentially likegaslight themselves into
believing that they're doing thething.
Oh well, I've used all thesemindset tricks to make myself
feel good.
Why don't I wait?
Why don't I feel good long term?
Well, you don't have anysupporting evidence for that
story that you're trying to tellyourself.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
You've written a fictional story.
Right, yes, you're.
Why do I not feel better?
It's like you're actually lyingto yourself.
What so?
Thanks for paying me aconsulting fee.
I tell you that the facts andhow you describe the facts are
(31:29):
two totally different things.
And I just think it's just ahard pill for people to swallow,
because it's like I think thatso really interesting.
You'll find this superinteresting.
Do you know the number onequality that women look for in
men and what, and also what, menlook for in other men?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Hmm, what comes to mind is security.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Okay, that's the first word.
Yeah, tell me more.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Our first impression would be a man of big size,
hopefully, confidence, a strongvoice.
Yeah, that's what's coming tomind.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Nice, yeah, and all of those things I believe are
constant.
So I think you hit the nail onthe head.
Okay, I think those areconsequences of the number one
trait that carries successful,that both men and women seek
within companionship of men,which is trustworthiness and
(32:40):
overall, just integrity.
Like, do you do the things yousay you will do?
As just a blanket question, Ialso asked, like, how well do
you do the things that you sayyou will do?
Hmm, it's like, did you take outthe trash?
Yes, but did you take out thetrash?
And like, complain the entirefucking time, did you take up
(33:02):
the trash?
Can say, oh my God, why am Ialways the one who has to do
this?
I pay all the bills and do allthis?
It's like, no, just where didyou do it?
With the smile on your face anddance.
And so the number one I thoughtthis is so interesting, the
number one trait that if youwould like to have, if you seek
a relationship with a man thatyou will look for, whether you
(33:24):
know it or not, istrustworthiness.
Do they follow through on thesame things that they say they
will do?
And so, once again, this givesyou two variables either say
more or sorry cheese, do more orsay less?
That's it, two variables.
And I think that a good.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
I'm going to drive this point home for any of my
coach friends listening.
If you're wondering why yourpipelines are empty, why people
get on sales calls and theydon't believe you, well, if
you're just putting on a show onInstagram and you're not
showing any of yourself, you'renot showing up authentically in
the stuff where you're trying toteach people.
They know.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, and I mean honestly speaking you can be as
your way to some pretty goodincome, but you're going to hate
yourself.
Like I hired a mindset coach.
It's like three years ago now,I had a mindset coach.
I paid him like 40 grand moremoney than I had.
I went into debt to pay himmoney and he could not afford
(34:29):
the house that he lived in andhe had a dog shit marriage and
he told me both of these thingson a mindset call for me.
I was like what's happening?
I was like, no wonder you don'tlike doing this.
And so if number one, if youlook at this stuff, like, why
(34:55):
are people not taking meseriously?
It's like, well, you've made 11promisters to yourself in the
past three days and you've keptone of them.
I'm confused as to why peopleshould listen to you.
Yeah, right, and so if youstruggle to maintain promises
(35:25):
that you are making to yourself,very simple make less promises
and make ones that you canactually keep.
Like I just lower the bar,because if you lower the bar and
make it something that you canactually do, you will do it, and
then you develop the skill ofkeeping, or making and keeping
(35:48):
promises that you set withyourself and then you become
somebody who develops the skillof integrity, of the skill of
trustworthiness, of the skill offollowing through, of the skill
of consistency.
And I would much rather, muchrather you work out for 15
minutes a day for the rest ofyour life, or 15 minutes a day,
(36:10):
than you do one hour here andthere.
I would much rather you switchto diet coke than like try to
updo your whole diet.
I'd much rather you meditatefor 10 minutes instead of 30
minutes.
Whatever, just lower the bar.
But a lot of people aren'twilling to lower the bar and
therefore they continue to makeoutlandish promises to
themselves that they just can'tfucking keep.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Well, how are you supposed to climb a ladder that
doesn't have any rungs in themiddle of it?
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yeah, Like you're trying to do a pull-up.
It's like just use the fuckingstair-stepper, bro.
I don't know Nobody successfulthat I know has skipped any of
the basics.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
And in choosing one simple promise to make to
yourself now.
This is something that Ilearned in a roundabout way when
I was in the Navy and this guythat was standing in as being in
charge of our engine room, he'slike, hey, listen, the CEO he's
going to have.
You know, we have a list oflike eight different things to
fix every day, whatever, but Iwant to take by lunch.
(37:16):
I want you guys to have onedone so I can take it to the
department head and say we gotthis done.
I'm going to knock them off ontime today and that that like
blew my world wide open and Iwas like 21 years old in the
Navy.
I'm like, oh, okay, and I'vetaken that and applied it since
then.
It's just, it's magic.
Pick one thing, just chop awayat that, finish it.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Right, and then pick the thing and then, after you do
the thing, tell yourself youdid a good job, like be proud of
the thing that you did, likedon't say don't finish the thing
that you wanted to do, that yousaid you would do, and then
hate yourself for not doing more, like you've missed.
You missed all elements of thething.
(38:02):
So once you can create a cycleof which you do things and then
reward yourself for doing thething, you become somebody that
does things and then somebodythat you like, and so it's like
if you actually give yourself apat on the back for doing the
thing that you said you weregoing to do, that pat on the
back gets stronger every timethat you do it and so you know
you can like.
This is my problem withHuberman.
(38:23):
He talks about like dopamine,and here's this like you know,
you can do it, you can do it,you can do it, you can do it,
you can do it.
And he talks about likedopamine, and here's this, like
oh, this is like a neuralpathways and all this.
It's like, dog, do something,tell yourself you did a good job
, keep doing that.
(38:44):
You don't need a three hourpodcast talking about dopamine
to figure this one out.
It's like just don't complicateit.
You said you would read for 10minutes.
You read for 10 minutes.
Give yourself a high five, kissyour wife have some great sex.
Go to bed Like I, just like put.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
As I like to say, underthink it.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Sure, yeah, yeah, just, I don't I will.
I opened up this one book andit didn't make any sense to me.
I just went.
This is way too complicated,I'm good, and so the acceptance
of now that I have of like thiswill confuse me more than it
will help me has gone very far.
(39:30):
It's there is very.
Just make it as simple aspossible, as simple as you can.
If you would like to do things.
Create an environment in whichyou can do that thing.
After you do the thing, giveyourself a high five.
I just, man, I don't know.
(39:50):
It just boggles my mind that wehave to like talk about how
neuroscience works and all theseother things to just figure out
that.
It's like no exercise.
You'll probably feel good.
That feeling good will last.
It will help.
You do get endorphins, sure,but also, like you did a thing
(40:11):
that you said you were going todo, tell yourself you did a good
job.
I know I speak in circles, butit's like I just think it's so
important.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
It's.
It's.
That's why I'm sitting hereletting you speak in circles.
It's yeah.
And to tie it back intosomething you said in the middle
and to what we open the showwith, you know talking about
people not making promises tothemselves or not keeping
promises to themselves.
You know, everything is a lie,including the story you're
(40:41):
telling yourself.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Dude, everything is a lie because it is all so
complicated and useless.
Like, do you really need toknow how dopamine works in order
to figure out that?
Like you should probably tellyour wife you love her at the
end of the day.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
If you think you do, you're likely overthinking it
for some reason.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Yeah, and like you know, not your fault.
You care about, like gettingbetter the environment.
Like you have all thesestimulus and people that say
that like this is a reliablesource of information.
It's like sure, no problem.
And it's like why should youlisten to me?
It's like I don't really careif you do.
I just know that, like life isway more simple than humans
today have made it, and that'sokay.
(41:24):
If you want to complicated, goahead, like I'll be here.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Well, I mean, we can, uh, in starting to put a bow on
this one, why should theylisten to you?
You're, you're, how old 27.
27.
And you've created a life whereyou can live comfortably off
your investment income,partially because you understand
all the things we're talkingabout and you don't want for
like this extremely lavishlifestyle that is laden with
(41:54):
status symbols.
Uh, I'd imagine that thatthat's a little bit of a
credibility in why they ought tolisten to Steve, I mean it's
it's, it's why I, it's why I'm,uh, one of his consulting
clients right now, because I geton a call and he gets me more
uncomfortable than I've been inyears on coaching calls.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
So yeah, Well, I appreciate that a lot and I
think that you know I tried thislike flex thing of like.
Let me state why you shouldlisten to me.
It's like I just don't care,like I just I'm so happy.
It's like I would say I figuredout most things and I live the
(42:35):
exact life that I want to beliving and I would like to help
other people do that.
And so it's like, if that helpspeople, great, if it doesn't,
no problem.
And I think that, like, unless Ispeak from a place of like, no,
like I'm really good.
It's like I set a goal, I hitthe goal, now I can do whatever
the fuck I would like to do andnobody has power over me.
(42:58):
It's like that's pretty cool.
I think other people wouldenjoy this.
And so, in terms of likecredibility, I tried all these,
I tried this hook of like Icoach eight figure sales teams.
It's like I'm 27.
I'm worth $4 million.
It's like none of them, none ofthem are the honest.
Well, sorry, they're all honest, they're all truthful, they're
all factual, but like, the thingthat I really want to say as to
(43:19):
why people listen to me is likeI just think that I have the
life that most people would liketo have.
It's like most people wouldlike to hit the gym.
Most people would like to learn.
Most people would like to study.
Most people would like to haveamazing relationships in their
life.
Most people would like a decentenough car.
(43:40):
Most people would like to be ingood shape.
Most people would like to bereally hard to kill.
Most people would like a greatrelationship, and so it's like
man, I check a lot of theseboxes.
It's like if people would liketo understand how simple I think
it is terrific and great yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
What kind of car do you drive?
Speaker 1 (44:02):
I got, I got, I got the Model S.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
So fun.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Nice, as we, as we put a bow on this, we we opened
it with what they were going toget out of it, and it may be the
same thing, and I, this monthmy, go to question what's one
thing for the listeners to takeaway from this conversation.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
There's always something that you can do that
is so simple, that will help youso long, or so much, that you
know what it is Like.
You definitely know what it is.
We all know what it is andinstead of going man, why?
Speaker 2 (44:47):
can't I figure this out?
Speaker 1 (44:48):
It's like what can I do to figure this out?
What can I do to make thishappen?
It's like what environmentwould make this the easiest
thing that I could do in the war?
And so don't ask yourself whatyou need to change.
It's like what do you need tochange in your environment?
I'm going to ask you what aremy surprises?
(45:10):
I'm going to ask you what aremy surprises.
The best example that I have by this.
It was extreme like this was avery extreme example, but I was
playing way too much PlayStation, way too much like I was really
good at it.
Weird flex, I know, but therewas one day where I was like I
just need to make more money andfigure out my life, so I
destroyed it with a baseball bat.
You know what I do.
You know what I don't doanymore play PlayStation.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
And by the end of the show you guys are gonna know
that everything is a lie.
And we got him hooked.
We gave him that, we gave himthe spicy hook.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
Dude, thanks for having me on the primal man
podcast.
I will say I feel like I'mqualified to be here because I
have the most primal nose hairsof all time Really good 4k
cameras able to catch that one.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
So we're off to a good start my wife might, might
contend there and say that, saythat I have that title.
And Well, when we meet inperson down the road will, we'll
compare oh yeah yeah, you evertry to pluck them.
Yeah, she's tried to reach forhim in the car Before yeah, yeah
(01:26):
, I'd say you cause a caraccident.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
That's like a sneeze fit just waiting to happen.
It's four minutes foruninterrupted sneezes.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Nose hairs are also a lie.
I.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
People want you to remove them.
It's like why, who they bother?
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, they filter stuff out too like sure yeah.
You take the air filter offyour car engine.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
No, no I.
Try to open up my nostrils.
Speaker 2 (01:58):
Yeah, do you use nasal strips at night?
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Yes, I like breathing , and, and so there's a large
reason why I started doing thisis the so I read a book called
breath, and it was literallyjust about breathing.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
James Nassar.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Yep, exactly, and how .
It's like how we have so manydysfunctions Just due to the
fact that, like we don't knowhow to breathe and so be like,
oh man, you know, I'm in a badmood.
What the hell's going on like.
I gotta reevaluate this.
Could reevaluate this?
It's like no, you just snoredat night, that's it.
It's like you just breathe thenote of your mouth when you
should be breathing out of yournose.
If you learn how to breathe alittle bit more calmly, you'll
(02:40):
probably be a little bit morecalm.
Like really simple stuff.
And it's like I didn't have tolike revisit anything about my
day-to-day.
It's that to like breathethrough my nose and so I wear
those things religiously likeevery night.
I actually didn't wear it theother night and I was woken up
in the middle of the nightbecause I was keeping up my
partner from snoring too loud.
So highly recommend them.
(03:02):
Big dude problems for sure.
Yeah you get above 220, it'slike you're snoring, no matter
how hard you try.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I?
I can only imagine, becauseI'll tap 215 every once in a
while.
And yeah, right there with you.
Why do the people want tolisten to you today?
They know that they're gonnahear everything's a lie.
But why?
Why are you qualified to speakon that?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Because I like stating the facts and telling
the truth and I think a lot ofthings exist currently to sell
you something and a lot ofFitness coaches, health coaches
etc.
They always push the narrativelike they found this new secret,
and I think it's so evident inFitness coaching because it's
like of how bad they are, whocan like sniff the bullshit very
(03:50):
quickly.
But I also think that, like youlook at any Real marketing
campaign and as long as you askthe question like what, what's
their narrative?
Like, what do they want me tobelieve, then you can really the
Understand of like well, whatis actually important to me?
And if you don't have thequestion of, if you don't have
that question answered, you'rethe easiest person to sell
(04:13):
things to in the world becauseit's like we can just tell you
what you want and you nod yourhead because other people have
it and then you just buy thething and that's how all
marketing works.
It's like a huge bummer to me.
Like as soon as I realized likethat's how other people, like
that's how big corporations getyou to give them money, I was
like super bummed, like I tooklike a week.
We were just like tellingpeople that they need something,
(04:38):
that we're telling people thatthey need something that they
don't have in order for us tohave more money.
It's like that's crazy, butit's like we all do it, and so
it's just like you just got tounderstand that Everybody plays
the game.
Just know the rules of the game.
That you play is basically likemy takeaway, and so it's like,
if you're gonna play the game,just know the rules, and it's
like the rules are youcommunicate to people that
(05:00):
there's something that you havethat they need, and the way that
you do that is you tell themthat they need it by telling
them that they'll be happier ifthey have it.
That's like oh fuck, crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
Crazy idea.
Where did you learn about allthis?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Um, I've read Over the past three years some
ungodly number of books.
It was like 1400 books orsomething.
So I would, I listened, I speedlistened to audiobooks.
I'd recommend doing that.
I listened to books at threeand a half X speed and I
listened to them for two hoursevery day.
I get through like seven hoursof audiobooks.
(05:41):
And then I also took a speedreading course and and so I was
I got my words permitted up tolike 1400 words.
1400 words.
And so I read an absurd numberof books over three years.
And I remember reading one ofthe last books that I read since
I've like taken a pause onreading.
It was Ed, my let's book.
(06:02):
I remember I was like halfwaythrough it and I was like, okay,
I think I get it.
Yeah, you just want me to buywhatever it is that you sell
after this book.
It's like that's what this is.
It's like you want me to go toan event, you want me to do
something, like you just want meto keep listening to you.
(06:22):
I was like huh, and so you don'tlike the.
I think a book of life or abook on life could really be
distilled down to like two pages, but because we have so much
time to fill and because we havebrains that like think we make
all these complicated rules andwe study a lot and it's like man
(06:43):
Realistically like it'sself-improvement and find
something that you enjoy doingand stick to it and learn, and
part of sticking to it isenjoying the thing that you do.
So I think that it was just itcame down to like reading so
much and then realizing theunderlying narrative between all
of it.
We just like you just buy morestuff.
(07:04):
Like that really is what itcame down to.
Now this comes from like bookspost internet yeah, books for
your internet.
When people like actually wrotefor the sake of writing, that's
where you get like reallyuseful books.
Like further, you go back tolike like Marcus really just
wasn't trying to get you to buya Fucking 2700 dollar coaching
(07:25):
program.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Marcus really didn't know his meditations would be
published.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Exactly like that dude was, like he was just
riffing and so he he had said alot of wise things, and so I've
always kind of I've had a lot ofEpiphanies, thoughts,
reflection, whatever you want tocall it, and then it'll be like
fuck, I bet some Greek dude inthe toga said this 2000 years
ago and it's like sure enough,greek dude in the toga, not new
(07:50):
information.
Life is pretty simple as ahuman being.
We just have complicatedtechnology and it's like not
much has changed.
Bro.
Like do something useful, do itoften, do it well, and you'll
probably be fulfilled at least Iwould be.
Anyways, like if you findsomething useful to do and you
do it often, and you do it tohave the best review ability,
(08:10):
it's like Do that for two weeksand tell me you had a bad time.
Like that's really it well,yeah, and.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
And in people not knowing what they actually want
and in their own narrative, andthey get fed 18 different
directions on social media.
I'm a big believer that that'swhere this whole All search for
purpose has come from.
Like I need to find my purpose?
Well, yeah, and then you'reconsuming 30 different creators
(08:40):
content every day, neveractually taking a second to slow
down and figure out what youwant.
And I mean to to what you saidabout Do something consistently
and enjoy it.
And and when you, when you doconsistently, you'll get better
at it and then you'll enjoy itmore.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
Yes.
Yeah, it's a lot easier toenjoy stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
There's two things that you said.
There is Um, I'll tackle thesecond thing first, so you will.
Everything sucks when you firststart something, and it's like
anytime that you start somethingnew, there's always this fear
Like I'm gonna be bad at it.
It's like that's the point.
It's like I just don't like,like I'm just so confused as to
(09:23):
how you think you will be goodat something after having zero
experience with it.
It just boggles my mind and soyou know anybody who Follows me
or looks, if you Google me afterthis, you'll see.
In the past month, it's likeI've started to produce content.
It's like it's all bad, likenone of it's good, like I'm not
proud of any of it, but it's alljust like reps, like I have to
(09:45):
figure out how to be better.
It's like I'm not gonna be ablehow to.
I'm not gonna be able to figureout how to be better unless I
start.
And so it was like just pureacceptance of like I'm gonna be
terrible, but like, dude, mebeing terrible, I still had like
20,000 people consume what Iwas saying.
Like that is insane, likethat's a ton of people, like if
(10:06):
I was in a room and I walkedinto that room and I had 20,000
people listening to me and allthey heard we say was a sentence
.
I'd be like, oh my god, manypeople but I.
And then there's this othernarrative of people saying like,
oh, that's only 20,000 people.
Yeah, what are you gonna do?
It's like I'm so confused.
I'm pretty sure that 20,000people 200 years ago you would
(10:33):
have been called a god, and it'slike you just have like an
unlimited amount of resources inorder to help you be better.
So I think that there's a tonof punishment that comes with
Learning something new.
If the only thing that youfocus on is the punishment Like
if you don't know what rewardyou seek, or if the reward you
(10:57):
seek is far too large, you'renot gonna, you're not gonna have
a good time In the short term,and then you will also prolong
how long it takes in order foryou to have a good time.
And so it's like some of thecoaching that I give is like you
just got a lower your bar.
Like I give that coaching a lotof like I.
I'm so confused, like you.
(11:17):
I will talk to business owners.
You say they would like toadmit.
I had this conversationyesterday.
I had a business owner hop onthe phone with me, he says yeah,
my goal is 500 grand a month.
I'm like okay, well, you'recurrently doing a hundred.
What changes in your day-to-dayif you're doing 500?
I have no idea.
And so this will bring me backto the first thing you said is
(11:39):
that I think that there's astrong difference Between what
people want and what peopleought to want, and I think a lot
of times people spend so muchtime Focusing on what they ought
to want rather than what theydo want, and so to actually
answer the question of like whatdo I want, you have to dive
(11:59):
into like, well, who the hellare you?
And that's a really deep likethat takes some time.
Like that's not just like, oh,I'm Chase, they're all on Steve.
It's like who am I?
It's like well, I like thesethings, I don't like these
things.
When I do this, I feel good.
When I do this, I hate myself.
It's like you got a swordthrough a whole mess of crap in
(12:21):
order to accurately answer thequestion who am I?
So that you can answer thequestion what do I want?
And If you continue to consumewhat you ought to want Because
of the chase, of the rat raceand whatever, then you will
continue to wonder why you arenot happy, continuing to look
for the thing instead of justlooking inside and asking, well,
(12:43):
what the hell would make mehappy?
Like, let's just start withthat question of like, if you
had an Opportunity to be happy,what would that look like?
Not, what do you think it wouldlook like, but it's like, what
would it actually look like?
Yeah, and then it's like can wejust do that?
Can you do that and still beuseful to the world?
(13:05):
And when you actually ask thatquestion, you know what nobody
says.
What's that Nobody says theywould like to steal money from
old ladies.
Like nobody says that theywould like to do something like
heedless.
Nobody says, yeah, I'd reallylike to like coke and hookers,
all that.
It's like, oh you know what, ifI could do anything, I would
(13:26):
draw and help people.
It's like I would.
I would, you know, volunteer, Iwould do like I would
contribute, I would spend timetalking to people, but they
don't do it because they assumethat they it won't pay the bills
, or it's not gonna be enoughmoney, or it's new and they're
very to failing or whatever itis.
But the difference between whatyou ought to want and what you
(13:49):
actually want is literally.
It's usually usually speaking,I found it to be money Is people
will think that they ought towant to have the big house, the
whatever, the big box, big car,etc.
But it's like the thing thatthey actually want is just to
like have coffee in the morning,kiss their kids, maybe like
(14:10):
Walk a trail, like very simple,like natural For lack of a
better term like ancestralbehaviors, like that's what we
were doing 400 years ago.
Yeah family fitness.
Thank you, simple things.
So this idea of Making moneyfor the sake of making money
(14:34):
just sounds so stupid likeCanada.
But what are you gonna do withall of it?
It's like I'll give it back tothe world.
It's like, anyway so.
I think a lot of people want todo is they want to make the
world a better place?
Oh, and I think, in order forthem to do that, they have a
hard time getting over thebarrier that, in order for the
(14:56):
world to be a better place, theywill probably make less money,
and or they don't know how tomonetize the thing that makes
the world a better place, and soI think bridging that gap for
people has been really useful,of like, well, maybe you just
have less money or you just dothe thing that is useful to the
world, that makes you feel good,and you find a way to make it
(15:17):
money.
But I think a lot of people endup in jobs that they don't like
and a mission statement thatthey don't buy into and just so
much nonsense because of safety,security, pension.
Yeah, the neighbors got a boat.
I'll buy a boat.
I'm three years away from thatboat.
Here's my year-end bonus.
(15:37):
Fucking can't get the boat.
What a miserable way to live.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Some people go out into the world to find
themselves and others go intothemselves to find their world.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (15:55):
That's a.
That's a chase original.
It was born out of a journalingsession on a beach in Punta
Cana with a couple of grams ofpsilocybin and Everything you're
saying right there, man.
Like people lose themselves towin the rat race and I what I
would.
I'm curious about your thoughts.
(16:15):
You know some people might justneed to make less money and you
know I know like about tenyears ago the happiness index
was $70,000 a year.
With the inflation since then,it's likely a little more.
If you had to toss out a numberof like Less money and still
enough to to do what you feellike you want to do in this
(16:36):
world, where where's that rangeland for people?
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Hmm, I think it's so person dependent, because I
think a lot of people, I dothink that there are people who
get joy out of saving a dollar,like I think that there's like
this energy that they have oflike people pay $400 for this
service I'm gonna find a way todo it for seven or 15 and so I
(17:02):
think that that inherentlybrings them joy.
And so I Think the way thatI've answered this question is I
think that there's three levelsto it is Level one is what do I
need?
How much money do I need inorder to survive?
Like basic, keep the roof overmy head, keep food in the fridge
, not get huge.
(17:23):
Like my diet costs a lot ofmoney, but it's like what do I
need to, like survive?
So that's step one.
That's like level one how muchmoney do you need to survive?
And Then you can ask thequestion of what do I need to do
to replace how I'm currentlyliving?
How much money is my currentlifestyle costing me?
(17:44):
And in answering that questionor defining that, you can also
take the opportunity to revisitdo you actually have the
lifestyle that you want to have?
So then it becomes what is thelifestyle that you want to have.
And then I think, just plan that, like literally, just look at
like what is the life that youwould like to have, not like
(18:05):
what house you want to live in,how much money in the bank
account, all that stuff.
Like, candidly, it just itdoesn't do it for me.
It's like what is the day today that you wish to have.
Then, once you know the day today you wish to have, how much
does that cost?
And then, three is is thereanything that that would make
that day to day better?
(18:26):
And then, if yes, that is thething that you strive towards.
And that comes to increasingyour income, et cetera.
And so right now and the reasonwhy I came up with these three
levels is like this is how Ikind of mark my investment
income of like can I so myinvestment income affords me my
(18:48):
ideal lifestyle today?
It won't always do that, and soit's like I basically just
don't need to work, like I'mgood enough at like investing
and trading and owning realestate, that it's like I just
don't need to work because Irequire so little to maintain my
ideal lifestyle.
I've made enough money thatit's like good.
And so this my coach calls is aposition of fuck you.
(19:11):
It's like I basically have fuckyou money and it's like I can
now do the things that Iactually want to do.
It's like there's nobody haspower over me, like nobody.
It's like I can do whatever Iwould like to do.
And that has some demons withinit as well, because when you
can do whatever you like to do,you're faced with a question
(19:33):
well, what do I like to do?
And a lot of people honestlyjust like following instructions
, and that's why a lot of peoplehave jobs, because it's really
hard to be an entrepreneurbecause there's no manual, like
nobody's got an onboardingpackage for here's how to start
a business that solves aspecific.
Like nobody has that, and soit's a big part of it is just
(19:54):
like figuring it out, tryingstuff, talking to people who
have done it, talking to peoplewho you think might know the
answer.
And so now I'm in this positionwhich, like I can just talk to
people, I can think throughproblems I have.
I work with great people.
I have one company that I workwith and I just love what they
(20:16):
do so much.
That's like I just stay aroundbecause it's like I want to see
where they go, but the moneythat I make from that versus the
money that I make from myinvestments is like 20%, and so
it's like, yeah, it's nice, butit's also just like not the way
that I'm making my money todayanymore, and I think that's why
it's like I was talking to afriend about this.
(20:37):
If in you know, this isn't tosay that like if you're above 30
, it's too late or whatever, butit's like if you get rich young
, holy crap, that is like themost overpowered thing that
nobody fucking talks about.
Like if you, if you're under 30, if you're right now, if you're
24, all you should be focusedon is getting rich, because it's
(20:58):
like compound interest has justso much time to help you, so
much time, and so I'm just likethat will be my, that will be my
focus.
It's just like, if you're 18,like you should together, and
you will thank me later 100%,100%.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
You know what you're talking about there reminds me
of Justin Donald's book thelifestyle investor.
You know having investmentincome that you know he talks
about in there like hey, if wewant a new car, we get a cash
flow and asset that pays forthat new car.
You know, having investmentincome just provides for the
lifestyle that you want.
That's so massive.
What you said around like Idon't, I don't need the money
(21:39):
and allows me to coach as I wantto.
I want to.
I want to break open a pointabout society in general there.
And then I have a question foryou as well, and by all means,
you're so good at putting pinsand things and responding to
both.
150 years ago, we weren't ableto go out and do whatever we
wanted.
(22:00):
We were 150 years ago, I mean1880.
We were 1870.
We were still on wagons andgetting shot at with poison
arrows at times, depending onwhich side of things we're on.
You know it's.
It's an interesting paradox.
We find ourselves in now wherewe have this time to do whatever
we want and on a certain level,it's like to go back to the
(22:23):
whole.
Well, my purpose, my purpose,my purpose.
Well, is it just that we havetoo much free time on our hands
and we're still figuring out howto fill that in this little
blip of existence.
And a more direct question howhelpful would it be for, like
there's going to be, that I needto get out of this hole for
(22:45):
some people building businessesor building coaching practices,
and how freeing would it be forthem to start focusing on the
other side of it as opposed togetting out of that hole?
Would it be freeing withoutleaving?
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Okay, hit me with a question one more time.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Do you think it would be freeing for a coach or a
business owner to focus more onthe freedom they're creating
rather than the freedom they'recreating rather than?
I need to do this to get out ofthis hole.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Okay, I think both are useful.
So, to respond to what you said, I think that human beings have
two purposes Stay alive andhave fun.
We've kind of just made it waymore complicated than that, and
I'm going to let you know in alittle secret most people have
fake jobs.
Most people do things and solveproblems that we created for no
(23:51):
good reason, and so it's likeif we're talking 200 or 150
years ago, like whatever thetimeline was, it was like most
of those people had real jobs.
They focused on health, keepingpeople alive, keeping people
clothed, contributing to theircommunity, and the way that
people lived 150 years ago isbecause things took time and
(24:14):
they took effort.
The only focus they had wasstaying alive and contributing
to the community.
So 1870, I don't know thehistory of that well, but it's
like I'm imagining they didn'thave when was electricity 88?
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Yeah, shortly after somewhat time after that.
I think we're like post civilwar at 1870.
Yeah, If I know.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
So it's like we don't even have electricity yeah, oh,
my goodness man and barely haveagriculture, and so it's like
people needed to contribute inevery which way to not only keep
themselves alive, but alsocreate a community in which was
focused on keeping others alive,because we knew that we can do
(25:00):
it alone.
I was like, holy crap, I haveto keep myself alive, my wife
alive, my kids alive, oh, butthis guy also has to do the same
thing.
I bet if we work together, wehave a better chance at this.
Yeah, and it became a lot oflike humans versus the
environment, which became theother people in the environment
(25:23):
became evil, wars, etc.
So, anyway, I think that thepeople who were in the
environment, who were in theenvironment, that we have this
amazing opportunity now toactually like.
There's never been a bettertime to be alive.
People will say it's like, ah,and what it used to be.
It's like dude, there's neverbeen a better time to be alive.
(25:47):
You have, it's so easy to be aliteral God, like Taylor Swift
is currently being treated likea God.
It is absurd, like idolized tothe nth degree.
Oh my gosh, it's just soridiculous.
So I look at this as Humanbeings have so much opportunity
(26:09):
to actually ask the questionwhat the hell would I like to do
while I'm here?
And then they can do that thing.
Crazy Like if somebody says Iwould like to see more of what
Mother Nature has given us.
It's like you can get on aplane and do that.
That's just like wild.
They used to take generations.
(26:30):
Like I can get from here to Peru.
I'm in Canada.
It's like I can get to here toPeru in eight hours.
It's like that used to take twopeople like a hundred years to
get there.
It's just mind boggling so good.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
And that used to in the span of human existence.
That used to was like the blinkof an eye in history, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
And so I think that it's just like this concept of
freeing is so new to humans.
It's like what do I want?
It's like a question thatpeople didn't have the
opportunity to ask.
Therefore, nobody really knowsit's like, and that's why I
think a lot of like what we wantis just to contribute to others
.
And if you actually think aboutwhat that question is, it's
(27:17):
like OK, well, who am I?
What do like?
What is it that I like doing?
What do I not like doing?
It's like everybody just likesgetting a hug, everybody likes
telling somebody else that theydid a good job, everybody likes
being told that they did a goodjob.
And like without others, whatam I Like if this world like
let's say, you wake up tomorrow,nobody else on this planet
(27:39):
exists, what do you do?
It's like that would be prettymiserable, right.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
I mean for the first, like if I didn't have my wife
and daughter and I was a singleguy and I woke up and nobody
else on this planet existed, Iprobably just lay in the sun for
a couple hours, then I getbored and it'd be miserable.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I would be.
I think everybody would bemiserable.
Yeah it's like the point ofexperiences is to share them
with people, and so it's likesure you can drive a Ferrari
really fast around a couple oflaps.
But it's like who are you goingto talk to about it?
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Well, and let me ask you this when you see a Ferrari,
do you ever remember the persondriving it or do you remember
the Ferrari?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Well, I live in Ottawa, bro, so I actually have
the nice car here.
I don't know.
I will say I've never seen aFerrari, or I don't remember any
Ferrari drivers.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Okay, yeah, To that point.
People are just got donereading the psychology of money.
I read slower than you.
There's a chapter in therecalled the man in the car and he
makes that point in there.
We want these cars, thesethings that you know.
To our earlier point in thisconversation, that we've been
told that we're supposed to havebecause the status came, and we
(29:02):
think that everybody's lookingat us.
They're just looking at our car.
Hmm, it's an interestingsomething to be said there about
you know the thread that we'vebeen dancing around here about
how do you define yourself?
How do we define who we trulyare?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
And how do you do that?
And I think, honestly speaking,that just comes from like
objective observation and Ithink, like, just write down
what it is that you do.
So really interesting is wehave this idea of like who we
can be and like how we respond,how we would react in these
(29:46):
different situations.
But it's like if you actuallyspent, if you actually ask
somebody who knows you, well,there's what you think you would
do and then there's what youwould actually do.
And so it's like in terms ofhuman observation or a self like
objective observation of likewhat we would do in a given
situation.
Most people straight up, bad atit.
I give no validity to likepersonality tests or EMFG
(30:12):
whatever, because it's like youjust don't know how you behave
in different situations.
There's how you want to behaveand then there's how you
actually behave.
And I think that bridging thegap between how you want to
behave and then how you actuallybehave and then accurately
assessing because this goes bothways Like you can want to
behave a certain way and thenhow you behave is different, but
(30:32):
you can also behave a differentway and then say that you did
it differently and which is justdistorted reality, and so I
think that like it goes bothways, and so either do more
things or say less.
Very simple.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
It's so true I've talked about.
You know, in the mindset andpersonal development space,
people can essentially likegaslight themselves into
believing that they're doing thething.
Oh well, I've used all thesemindset tricks to make myself
feel good.
Why don't I wait?
Why don't I feel good long term?
Well, you don't have anysupporting evidence for that
story that you're trying to tellyourself.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
You've written a fictional story.
Right, yes, you're.
Why do I not feel better?
It's like you're actually lyingto yourself.
What so?
Thanks for paying me aconsulting fee.
I tell you that the facts andhow you describe the facts are
(31:29):
two totally different things.
And I just think it's just ahard pill for people to swallow,
because it's like I think thatso really interesting.
You'll find this superinteresting.
Do you know the number onequality that women look for in
men and what, and also what, menlook for in other men?
Speaker 2 (31:52):
Hmm, what comes to mind is security.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Okay, that's the first word.
Yeah, tell me more.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
Our first impression would be a man of big size,
hopefully, confidence, a strongvoice.
Yeah, that's what's coming tomind.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
Nice, yeah, and all of those things I believe are
constant.
So I think you hit the nail onthe head.
Okay, I think those areconsequences of the number one
trait that carries successful,that both men and women seek
within companionship of men,which is trustworthiness and
(32:40):
overall, just integrity.
Like, do you do the things yousay you will do?
As just a blanket question, Ialso asked, like, how well do
you do the things that you sayyou will do?
Hmm, it's like, did you take outthe trash?
Yes, but did you take out thetrash?
And like, complain the entirefucking time, did you take up
(33:02):
the trash?
Can say, oh my God, why am Ialways the one who has to do
this?
I pay all the bills and do allthis?
It's like, no, just where didyou do it?
With the smile on your face anddance.
And so the number one I thoughtthis is so interesting, the
number one trait that if youwould like to have, if you seek
a relationship with a man thatyou will look for, whether you
(33:24):
know it or not, istrustworthiness.
Do they follow through on thesame things that they say they
will do?
And so, once again, this givesyou two variables either say
more or sorry cheese, do more orsay less?
That's it, two variables.
And I think that a good.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
I'm going to drive this point home for any of my
coach friends listening.
If you're wondering why yourpipelines are empty, why people
get on sales calls and theydon't believe you, well, if
you're just putting on a show onInstagram and you're not
showing any of yourself, you'renot showing up authentically in
the stuff where you're trying toteach people.
They know.
Speaker 1 (34:07):
Yeah, and I mean honestly speaking you can be as
your way to some pretty goodincome, but you're going to hate
yourself.
Like I hired a mindset coach.
It's like three years ago now,I had a mindset coach.
I paid him like 40 grand moremoney than I had.
I went into debt to pay himmoney and he could not afford
(34:29):
the house that he lived in andhe had a dog shit marriage and
he told me both of these thingson a mindset call for me.
I was like what's happening?
I was like, no wonder you don'tlike doing this.
And so if number one, if youlook at this stuff, like, why
(34:55):
are people not taking meseriously?
It's like, well, you've made 11promisters to yourself in the
past three days and you've keptone of them.
I'm confused as to why peopleshould listen to you.
Yeah, right, and so if youstruggle to maintain promises
(35:25):
that you are making to yourself,very simple make less promises
and make ones that you canactually keep.
Like I just lower the bar,because if you lower the bar and
make it something that you canactually do, you will do it, and
then you develop the skill ofkeeping, or making and keeping
(35:48):
promises that you set withyourself and then you become
somebody who develops the skillof integrity, of the skill of
trustworthiness, of the skill offollowing through, of the skill
of consistency.
And I would much rather, muchrather you work out for 15
minutes a day for the rest ofyour life, or 15 minutes a day,
(36:10):
than you do one hour here andthere.
I would much rather you switchto diet coke than like try to
updo your whole diet.
I'd much rather you meditatefor 10 minutes instead of 30
minutes.
Whatever, just lower the bar.
But a lot of people aren'twilling to lower the bar and
therefore they continue to makeoutlandish promises to
themselves that they just can'tfucking keep.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Well, how are you supposed to climb a ladder that
doesn't have any rungs in themiddle of it?
Speaker 1 (36:38):
Yeah, Like you're trying to do a pull-up.
It's like just use the fuckingstair-stepper, bro.
I don't know Nobody successfulthat I know has skipped any of
the basics.
Speaker 2 (36:54):
And in choosing one simple promise to make to
yourself now.
This is something that Ilearned in a roundabout way when
I was in the Navy and this guythat was standing in as being in
charge of our engine room, he'slike, hey, listen, the CEO he's
going to have.
You know, we have a list oflike eight different things to
fix every day, whatever, but Iwant to take by lunch.
(37:16):
I want you guys to have onedone so I can take it to the
department head and say we gotthis done.
I'm going to knock them off ontime today and that that like
blew my world wide open and Iwas like 21 years old in the
Navy.
I'm like, oh, okay, and I'vetaken that and applied it since
then.
It's just, it's magic.
Pick one thing, just chop awayat that, finish it.
Speaker 1 (37:40):
Right, and then pick the thing and then, after you do
the thing, tell yourself youdid a good job, like be proud of
the thing that you did, likedon't say don't finish the thing
that you wanted to do, that yousaid you would do, and then
hate yourself for not doing more, like you've missed.
You missed all elements of thething.
(38:02):
So once you can create a cycleof which you do things and then
reward yourself for doing thething, you become somebody that
does things and then somebodythat you like, and so it's like
if you actually give yourself apat on the back for doing the
thing that you said you weregoing to do, that pat on the
back gets stronger every timethat you do it and so you know
you can like.
This is my problem withHuberman.
(38:23):
He talks about like dopamine,and here's this like you know,
you can do it, you can do it,you can do it, you can do it,
you can do it.
And he talks about likedopamine, and here's this, like
oh, this is like a neuralpathways and all this.
It's like, dog, do something,tell yourself you did a good job
, keep doing that.
(38:44):
You don't need a three hourpodcast talking about dopamine
to figure this one out.
It's like just don't complicateit.
You said you would read for 10minutes.
You read for 10 minutes.
Give yourself a high five, kissyour wife have some great sex.
Go to bed Like I, just like put.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
As I like to say, underthink it.
Speaker 1 (39:08):
Sure, yeah, yeah, just, I don't I will.
I opened up this one book andit didn't make any sense to me.
I just went.
This is way too complicated,I'm good, and so the acceptance
of now that I have of like thiswill confuse me more than it
will help me has gone very far.
(39:30):
It's there is very.
Just make it as simple aspossible, as simple as you can.
If you would like to do things.
Create an environment in whichyou can do that thing.
After you do the thing, giveyourself a high five.
I just, man, I don't know.
(39:50):
It just boggles my mind that wehave to like talk about how
neuroscience works and all theseother things to just figure out
that.
It's like no exercise.
You'll probably feel good.
That feeling good will last.
It will help.
You do get endorphins, sure,but also, like you did a thing
(40:11):
that you said you were going todo, tell yourself you did a good
job.
I know I speak in circles, butit's like I just think it's so
important.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
It's.
It's.
That's why I'm sitting hereletting you speak in circles.
It's yeah.
And to tie it back intosomething you said in the middle
and to what we open the showwith, you know talking about
people not making promises tothemselves or not keeping
promises to themselves.
You know, everything is a lie,including the story you're
(40:41):
telling yourself.
Speaker 1 (40:43):
Dude, everything is a lie because it is all so
complicated and useless.
Like, do you really need toknow how dopamine works in order
to figure out that?
Like you should probably tellyour wife you love her at the
end of the day.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
If you think you do, you're likely overthinking it
for some reason.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Yeah, and like you know, not your fault.
You care about, like gettingbetter the environment.
Like you have all thesestimulus and people that say
that like this is a reliablesource of information.
It's like sure, no problem.
And it's like why should youlisten to me?
It's like I don't really careif you do.
I just know that, like life isway more simple than humans
today have made it, and that'sokay.
(41:24):
If you want to complicated, goahead, like I'll be here.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Well, I mean, we can, uh, in starting to put a bow on
this one, why should theylisten to you?
You're, you're, how old 27.
27.
And you've created a life whereyou can live comfortably off
your investment income,partially because you understand
all the things we're talkingabout and you don't want for
like this extremely lavishlifestyle that is laden with
(41:54):
status symbols.
Uh, I'd imagine that thatthat's a little bit of a
credibility in why they ought tolisten to Steve, I mean it's
it's, it's why I, it's why I'm,uh, one of his consulting
clients right now, because I geton a call and he gets me more
uncomfortable than I've been inyears on coaching calls.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
So yeah, Well, I appreciate that a lot and I
think that you know I tried thislike flex thing of like.
Let me state why you shouldlisten to me.
It's like I just don't care,like I just I'm so happy.
It's like I would say I figuredout most things and I live the
(42:35):
exact life that I want to beliving and I would like to help
other people do that.
And so it's like, if that helpspeople, great, if it doesn't,
no problem.
And I think that, like, unless Ispeak from a place of like, no,
like I'm really good.
It's like I set a goal, I hitthe goal, now I can do whatever
the fuck I would like to do andnobody has power over me.
(42:58):
It's like that's pretty cool.
I think other people wouldenjoy this.
And so, in terms of likecredibility, I tried all these,
I tried this hook of like Icoach eight figure sales teams.
It's like I'm 27.
I'm worth $4 million.
It's like none of them, none ofthem are the honest.
Well, sorry, they're all honest, they're all truthful, they're
all factual, but like, the thingthat I really want to say as to
(43:19):
why people listen to me is likeI just think that I have the
life that most people would liketo have.
It's like most people wouldlike to hit the gym.
Most people would like to learn.
Most people would like to study.
Most people would like to haveamazing relationships in their
life.
Most people would like a decentenough car.
(43:40):
Most people would like to be ingood shape.
Most people would like to bereally hard to kill.
Most people would like a greatrelationship, and so it's like
man, I check a lot of theseboxes.
It's like if people would liketo understand how simple I think
it is terrific and great yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:00):
What kind of car do you drive?
Speaker 1 (44:02):
I got, I got, I got the Model S.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (44:08):
So fun.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Nice, as we, as we put a bow on this, we we opened
it with what they were going toget out of it, and it may be the
same thing, and I, this monthmy, go to question what's one
thing for the listeners to takeaway from this conversation.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
There's always something that you can do that
is so simple, that will help youso long, or so much, that you
know what it is Like.
You definitely know what it is.
We all know what it is andinstead of going man, why?
Speaker 2 (44:47):
can't I figure this out?
Speaker 1 (44:48):
It's like what can I do to figure this out?
What can I do to make thishappen?
It's like what environmentwould make this the easiest
thing that I could do in the war?
And so don't ask yourself whatyou need to change.
It's like what do you need tochange in your environment?
I'm going to ask you what aremy surprises?
(45:10):
I'm going to ask you what aremy surprises.
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