August 29, 2024 • 15 mins
Do you find yourself dismissing crucial business tasks as inauthentic or salesy, only to realize you're stuck in the same place? Discover how many online coaches, myself included, inadvertently gaslight ourselves into failure by avoiding essential sales and marketing tasks. In this episode, I share personal stories and actionable insights into overcoming this destructive mindset. We'll discuss how embracing these crucial skills can liberate you from self-imposed limitations and propel your coaching business to new heights.
What if your current reality is actually what your subconscious desires? We'll explore this provocative idea and examine the disconnect between what you think you want and what you truly achieve. By realigning your actions with your genuine goals, you can bridge this gap and manifest your desired reality. Tune in for a candid conversation on intentional actions, self-honesty, and transformative growth. Plus, I invite you to join me for a deeper dive into these concepts through the link provided. Let's break free from self-sabotage and unlock your full potential together!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
most online coaches who don't have the business that
they want are gaslightingthemselves into failure.
And let me explain what thatmeans.
What I mean by that because,yes, it may be a skill issue, it
may be a knowledge thing.
You know, I don't know how thebest way to get clients right
now and still gaslightingourselves into not going and
(00:24):
finding the knowledge.
Here's what I mean.
Like when I got into coaching, Iloved the fulfillment.
I loved delivering the product,which, at the time, went way
back when Chase first got intocoaching was delivering
in-person sessions.
Right, I loved delivering thefulfillment.
(00:44):
Doing fulfilling my product, myservice, my coaching lit me up,
so I did a bunch of that.
I opened a gym and I scheduledeight hours of classes on the
day and in between those classes, I cleaned the floors.
And in between those classes, Icleaned the floors.
And then I put a free introsession, one per week on
(01:08):
Saturday, and said, hey, come onin, try it if you want Y'all.
I got extremely, extremely luckythat CrossFit was on the rise
in 2014 and that people werelooking for it, because that was
a broken method and what it waswas me saying, oh, I just want
to help people, I want to helppeople.
(01:30):
So, like I don't want to do allthat sales stuff, I want to
help them sound familiar, like,listen, if all you want to do is
fulfill, if all you want to dois train people and you don't
want to do any of the sales ormarketing, then it might be time
to go and get a job forsomebody else.
Go and get one of those goodold personal training jobs
(01:51):
inside a gym and work for theirrules.
However, if you want theabsolute freedom to make your
own rules, to deliver theproduct that you want to deliver
, to make change under your ownpersonal brand and to create an
income that is under yourcontrol, well then, the first
(02:12):
step in serving people islearning, effective sales and
marketing.
And this is where a lot ofcoaches just completely gaslight
themselves into saying intofailure, because they say, well,
that that's inauthentic, that'ssalesy, that feels.
(02:33):
And hey, is it inauthentic or isit new?
Because let me ask you this Didyou feel authentic when you
were a kid and you were learningto ride your two-wheel bike
when your parents pulled thetraining wheels off?
Or was it just new?
Like when you fell and scrapedyour knees?
(02:54):
Did you say no, this isn't forme.
Or did you get back on the bikeand keep riding Like let's take
an honest look at that right?
Because now, for some reason,whether it be the instant hit of
dopamine from social media thatwe can get, or the
participation trophies that alot of us got growing up, it can
be way too easy to go.
(03:15):
Oh man, I tried and for thoseof y'all on audio, I'm putting
this in air quotes I tried thisthing, but it didn't work.
And be extremely honest withyourself, did you try, like, did
you actually put forth effortand did you buy into your
journey?
Because this is another waythat coaches give themselves an
(03:39):
out to fail and say, oh, I tried, but it's just it wasn't the
thing.
And say, oh, I tried, but it'sjust, it wasn't the thing Is
they take all the freeinformation out there a little
bit from Hormozy, a little bitfrom this guy, a little bit from
that guy, a little bit fromChase and they say, well, I can
figure it out.
Okay, yeah, I'm going to justdo this thing.
(04:01):
And they go and they try andpiece other people's information
together and put it together,and 30 days later it doesn't
work and they say, oh, I guessit just isn't meant to be, is it
?
Or did you go into that one withyour lens and your experience
level in business?
So you went into using top tiermarketing advice, but with your
(04:26):
lens on your product, and yousaid, well, I tried that stuff
for my marketing, but then whensomebody goes and reviews your
marketing, you're not speakingto your clients, you're still
speaking at them.
Then you say, well, well, butit's actually this thing, it's
not this.
Then you say, well, but it'sactually this thing, it's not
(05:10):
this, it's not this thing myclients need to hear.
Well, it's weird, because thatthing that you're saying they
don't need to hear, that's thewords they're actually using.
So why don't they need to hearthat?
Why don't they need to hearabout solving that problem?
Is it because you feel like youknow more than them and you
don't want to actually help them?
You just want to be right?
Or, more likely, is it becauseyou're giving yourself an out on
actually getting uncomfortableand having a successful business
, because to have a successfulbusiness, guess what else is
going to change you, your life?
This shit does not happen in avacuum.
(05:32):
People think that you know andand here's the fun part about
this when I got into coaching,unbeknownst to me as I look back
on it, I became a coach morefor me than I realized.
Like, yes, I love deliveringchange.
And a lot of health coaches outthere are out there doing all
(05:53):
these courses the holistic, this, the mindset course for this,
this and that and they're doingit mostly for themselves and for
how it uplevels their life andfor what systems.
They're doing it mostly forthemselves and for how it up
levels their life and for whatsystems they're able to put in
place for themselves.
And and right now some of y'allare like no chase, I like
(06:13):
applying that to my clients.
Well, do you like?
Do we really enjoy that?
Because if that's the goal,then why are we avoiding?
I use we as uh, why why would?
If that's the goal for somebody, why would they be avoiding
business growth by gaslightingthemselves into failure?
(06:35):
Now here's the cool thingbefore I lose you guys thinking
that I'm just talking a bunch ofshit here, you can gaslight
yourself into success too.
You can do it.
And that's honestly what ittakes in the early days to be
absolutely, delusionallyconfident about what you have,
(07:00):
with that little slice ofhumility, knowing that the
market dictates what you havewith that little slice of
humility, knowing that themarket dictates what you do, and
with knowing that there arepieces of your business that you
won't enjoy.
There are pieces of yourbusiness that you will only
learn to enjoy because it givesyou the freedom to go do the
(07:22):
pieces that you do enjoy.
There are pieces of yourbusiness that will feel new and
foreign and it'll feel like man,what am I even doing here?
This doesn't feel like me.
That's because that's not whatyou've done in the past, so of
course it doesn't fucking feellike you.
Okay, I want to make this veryclear here when you do something
(07:42):
new, it feels foreign.
It's a crazy idea, I know.
So when you are absolutelydelusionally confident and you
lean into that and you recognizeand even get excited about the
fact that learning new businessskills will mean that the rest
of your schedule might beimpacted, that the pieces of
(08:07):
your energy output that used togo into hiding in the easy, hard
and working out and ice bathingand meditating, that some of
that energy could get put intoyour business and your health
will stay absolutely vital andguess what?
Another lever of freedom yourfinances will actually improve,
(08:31):
which will likely actuallyimprove your health because
you'll be stressed less.
Crazy concept, I know, guys, weare in an epidemic right now of
health and fitness and mindsetcoaches who know how to make
change, who have all the toolsto be living with a regulated
nervous system, who have anabsolutely dysregulated nervous
(08:54):
system because they have yet toleaning into creating that fifth
pillar of freedom, that fifthlever finance physical, mental,
emotional, spiritual andfinancial.
So many coaches has physical,mental, emotional, spiritual on
lock.
The financial one, though it'slike this health is wealth
(09:18):
paradigm has went way too far,way too far.
It's like, oh well, healthmeans you're dedicated, it means
you'll do well.
No, health means you're healthy, plain and simple.
There are absolutely obese, outof shape, unhappy
multimillionaires.
Now, does health mean that youcan stay in control of your
(09:41):
health while building that?
Yes, and if you are gaslightingyourself into believing that,
just because you're working outand just because you're focusing
on your mindset, you'll somehowbecome wealthy, good luck,
honestly good luck.
Let me know how that goes.
Come talk to me in five yearswhen you're instructing at a
(10:08):
group fitness gym because yourentrepreneurial dreams didn't
get the energy that they wanted.
Your inputs determine youroutputs and is Alex Hormozy's
whole.
Throw away your twenties tobuild for your thirties?
A little overboard?
Yes, we want to.
We want to keep ourrelationships intact.
We want to keep our healthintact mental, physical,
emotional and spiritual and yourinputs do determine your
(10:31):
outputs.
So, if you don't have thebusiness you want, start looking
at your schedule.
How do you spend each day andwhy do you spend it that way if
you don't yet have the goalsthat you want?
I could take a few guesses, andthat's an answer only you can
create.
(10:56):
I'm going to reiterate a point.
One of the biggest ways that Isee coaches gaslight themselves
into failure is by notcommitting.
The online entrepreneur age hassuch a low barrier to entry in
2024.
Oh, I put up an Instagram pageand maybe I built a website.
(11:18):
It's really not necessary below$10,000 a month.
Put up an Instagram page.
I have a Stripe account and Ihave a coach certification.
I'm a coach and then when youfail, you can check out because
you didn't invest that much intoactually knowing what you were
doing.
You didn't really like.
(11:40):
You watched a couple of YouTubevideos, but you didn't really
work to refine it.
And that's what happens.
I've seen it too many times togo.
Well, I'm going to.
Let's back up a second.
You guys ever heard somebody saythey're going to get in shape
before they start working with atrainer?
Well, I want to.
I want to get in shape a littlebit before I start at the gym.
(12:01):
You know, I'm going to do somestuff on my own.
You know what that is.
They're resistant to the change.
So they say they're going to dosomething.
But if they're going to do iton their own, they can continue
being not accountable tothemselves.
And I see the same shit withcoaches who want to make change
(12:23):
out here who say I, I'm, I'mgoing to, I'm going to figure
this out on my own, we'll talkin a quarter.
And I talked to them 90 dayslater because guess what I'm,
you know, I.
I ended up, I'm in a worse spotand I'm working over here now
as a side gig because I need topay down this debt when they had
(12:52):
built something before.
That gave them freedom, and Iwant to drive the other side of
that for a second.
Here you can build a businessthat gives you true freedom.
However, freedom means thatyou're in control.
Freedom means that you are theone determining what your
(13:15):
paycheck is week to week andmonth to month, you're not going
in and clocking in and you knowhow much you're getting paid
every couple weeks.
And if that scares you, good itought to a little bit.
It ought to light a little fireunder your ass and take a look
at that fear and ask yourself isthat true, or is it just false
(13:38):
evidence appearing real?
And can you take that andrealign it into excitement,
because you are the creator ofwhatever you want to create?
I'm going to end this one thereas a reminder.
You guys are the creators ofwhatever you want to create.
Okay, you can do it when youactually truly and authentically
(14:06):
give yourself permission, notthese excuses of oh well, it
just it needs to be the righttime.
I'm working through me things.
Guess what Me things arebusiness things.
Okay, business things are methings, because when you learn a
new business skill, guess whatyou learned it.
You took action.
(14:26):
That's a piece of personalgrowth, stepping into a new
paradigm, sitting in the samepersonal development pathway
that you've been in and tryingto find the key there that's
hiding from the new paradigm ofrunning your business.
So you are the creator ofwhatever you want to be and your
(14:50):
actions are the evidence ofwhat you want, what you truly
want in your subconscious rightnow.
What you have now is what youractions are saying that you want
.
So if you don't have what youthink you want, check in with
yourself and make that shift andmake that shift.
(15:20):
If you want to riff for 30minutes on how to make that
shift, grab that link below.
We can hop on.
We'll get you clear and get youmoving and if it makes sense to
move forward together, we canexplore the options.
Thank you for listening to my15 minute.
People need to hear this rantof the week.
I'll catch you guys next time.
most online coaches who don't have the business that
they want are gaslightingthemselves into failure.
And let me explain what thatmeans.
What I mean by that because,yes, it may be a skill issue, it
may be a knowledge thing.
You know, I don't know how thebest way to get clients right
now and still gaslightingourselves into not going and
(00:24):
finding the knowledge.
Here's what I mean.
Like when I got into coaching, Iloved the fulfillment.
I loved delivering the product,which, at the time, went way
back when Chase first got intocoaching was delivering
in-person sessions.
Right, I loved delivering thefulfillment.
(00:44):
Doing fulfilling my product, myservice, my coaching lit me up,
so I did a bunch of that.
I opened a gym and I scheduledeight hours of classes on the
day and in between those classes, I cleaned the floors.
And in between those classes, Icleaned the floors.
And then I put a free introsession, one per week on
(01:08):
Saturday, and said, hey, come onin, try it if you want Y'all.
I got extremely, extremely luckythat CrossFit was on the rise
in 2014 and that people werelooking for it, because that was
a broken method and what it waswas me saying, oh, I just want
to help people, I want to helppeople.
(01:30):
So, like I don't want to do allthat sales stuff, I want to
help them sound familiar, like,listen, if all you want to do is
fulfill, if all you want to dois train people and you don't
want to do any of the sales ormarketing, then it might be time
to go and get a job forsomebody else.
Go and get one of those goodold personal training jobs
(01:51):
inside a gym and work for theirrules.
However, if you want theabsolute freedom to make your
own rules, to deliver theproduct that you want to deliver
, to make change under your ownpersonal brand and to create an
income that is under yourcontrol, well then, the first
(02:12):
step in serving people islearning, effective sales and
marketing.
And this is where a lot ofcoaches just completely gaslight
themselves into saying intofailure, because they say, well,
that that's inauthentic, that'ssalesy, that feels.
(02:33):
And hey, is it inauthentic or isit new?
Because let me ask you this Didyou feel authentic when you
were a kid and you were learningto ride your two-wheel bike
when your parents pulled thetraining wheels off?
Or was it just new?
Like when you fell and scrapedyour knees?
(02:54):
Did you say no, this isn't forme.
Or did you get back on the bikeand keep riding Like let's take
an honest look at that right?
Because now, for some reason,whether it be the instant hit of
dopamine from social media thatwe can get, or the
participation trophies that alot of us got growing up, it can
be way too easy to go.
(03:15):
Oh man, I tried and for thoseof y'all on audio, I'm putting
this in air quotes I tried thisthing, but it didn't work.
And be extremely honest withyourself, did you try, like, did
you actually put forth effortand did you buy into your
journey?
Because this is another waythat coaches give themselves an
(03:39):
out to fail and say, oh, I tried, but it's just it wasn't the
thing.
And say, oh, I tried, but it'sjust, it wasn't the thing Is
they take all the freeinformation out there a little
bit from Hormozy, a little bitfrom this guy, a little bit from
that guy, a little bit fromChase and they say, well, I can
figure it out.
Okay, yeah, I'm going to justdo this thing.
(04:01):
And they go and they try andpiece other people's information
together and put it together,and 30 days later it doesn't
work and they say, oh, I guessit just isn't meant to be, is it
?
Or did you go into that one withyour lens and your experience
level in business?
So you went into using top tiermarketing advice, but with your
(04:26):
lens on your product, and yousaid, well, I tried that stuff
for my marketing, but then whensomebody goes and reviews your
marketing, you're not speakingto your clients, you're still
speaking at them.
Then you say, well, well, butit's actually this thing, it's
not this.
Then you say, well, but it'sactually this thing, it's not
(05:10):
this, it's not this thing myclients need to hear.
Well, it's weird, because thatthing that you're saying they
don't need to hear, that's thewords they're actually using.
So why don't they need to hearthat?
Why don't they need to hearabout solving that problem?
Is it because you feel like youknow more than them and you
don't want to actually help them?
You just want to be right?
Or, more likely, is it becauseyou're giving yourself an out on
actually getting uncomfortableand having a successful business
, because to have a successfulbusiness, guess what else is
going to change you, your life?
This shit does not happen in avacuum.
(05:32):
People think that you know andand here's the fun part about
this when I got into coaching,unbeknownst to me as I look back
on it, I became a coach morefor me than I realized.
Like, yes, I love deliveringchange.
And a lot of health coaches outthere are out there doing all
(05:53):
these courses the holistic, this, the mindset course for this,
this and that and they're doingit mostly for themselves and for
how it uplevels their life andfor what systems.
They're doing it mostly forthemselves and for how it up
levels their life and for whatsystems they're able to put in
place for themselves.
And and right now some of y'allare like no chase, I like
(06:13):
applying that to my clients.
Well, do you like?
Do we really enjoy that?
Because if that's the goal,then why are we avoiding?
I use we as uh, why why would?
If that's the goal for somebody, why would they be avoiding
business growth by gaslightingthemselves into failure?
(06:35):
Now here's the cool thingbefore I lose you guys thinking
that I'm just talking a bunch ofshit here, you can gaslight
yourself into success too.
You can do it.
And that's honestly what ittakes in the early days to be
absolutely, delusionallyconfident about what you have,
(07:00):
with that little slice ofhumility, knowing that the
market dictates what you havewith that little slice of
humility, knowing that themarket dictates what you do, and
with knowing that there arepieces of your business that you
won't enjoy.
There are pieces of yourbusiness that you will only
learn to enjoy because it givesyou the freedom to go do the
(07:22):
pieces that you do enjoy.
There are pieces of yourbusiness that will feel new and
foreign and it'll feel like man,what am I even doing here?
This doesn't feel like me.
That's because that's not whatyou've done in the past, so of
course it doesn't fucking feellike you.
Okay, I want to make this veryclear here when you do something
(07:42):
new, it feels foreign.
It's a crazy idea, I know.
So when you are absolutelydelusionally confident and you
lean into that and you recognizeand even get excited about the
fact that learning new businessskills will mean that the rest
of your schedule might beimpacted, that the pieces of
(08:07):
your energy output that used togo into hiding in the easy, hard
and working out and ice bathingand meditating, that some of
that energy could get put intoyour business and your health
will stay absolutely vital andguess what?
Another lever of freedom yourfinances will actually improve,
(08:31):
which will likely actuallyimprove your health because
you'll be stressed less.
Crazy concept, I know, guys, weare in an epidemic right now of
health and fitness and mindsetcoaches who know how to make
change, who have all the toolsto be living with a regulated
nervous system, who have anabsolutely dysregulated nervous
(08:54):
system because they have yet toleaning into creating that fifth
pillar of freedom, that fifthlever finance physical, mental,
emotional, spiritual andfinancial.
So many coaches has physical,mental, emotional, spiritual on
lock.
The financial one, though it'slike this health is wealth
(09:18):
paradigm has went way too far,way too far.
It's like, oh well, healthmeans you're dedicated, it means
you'll do well.
No, health means you're healthy, plain and simple.
There are absolutely obese, outof shape, unhappy
multimillionaires.
Now, does health mean that youcan stay in control of your
(09:41):
health while building that?
Yes, and if you are gaslightingyourself into believing that,
just because you're working outand just because you're focusing
on your mindset, you'll somehowbecome wealthy, good luck,
honestly good luck.
Let me know how that goes.
Come talk to me in five yearswhen you're instructing at a
(10:08):
group fitness gym because yourentrepreneurial dreams didn't
get the energy that they wanted.
Your inputs determine youroutputs and is Alex Hormozy's
whole.
Throw away your twenties tobuild for your thirties?
A little overboard?
Yes, we want to.
We want to keep ourrelationships intact.
We want to keep our healthintact mental, physical,
emotional and spiritual and yourinputs do determine your
(10:31):
outputs.
So, if you don't have thebusiness you want, start looking
at your schedule.
How do you spend each day andwhy do you spend it that way if
you don't yet have the goalsthat you want?
I could take a few guesses, andthat's an answer only you can
create.
(10:56):
I'm going to reiterate a point.
One of the biggest ways that Isee coaches gaslight themselves
into failure is by notcommitting.
The online entrepreneur age hassuch a low barrier to entry in
2024.
Oh, I put up an Instagram pageand maybe I built a website.
(11:18):
It's really not necessary below$10,000 a month.
Put up an Instagram page.
I have a Stripe account and Ihave a coach certification.
I'm a coach and then when youfail, you can check out because
you didn't invest that much intoactually knowing what you were
doing.
You didn't really like.
(11:40):
You watched a couple of YouTubevideos, but you didn't really
work to refine it.
And that's what happens.
I've seen it too many times togo.
Well, I'm going to.
Let's back up a second.
You guys ever heard somebody saythey're going to get in shape
before they start working with atrainer?
Well, I want to.
I want to get in shape a littlebit before I start at the gym.
(12:01):
You know, I'm going to do somestuff on my own.
You know what that is.
They're resistant to the change.
So they say they're going to dosomething.
But if they're going to do iton their own, they can continue
being not accountable tothemselves.
And I see the same shit withcoaches who want to make change
(12:23):
out here who say I, I'm, I'mgoing to, I'm going to figure
this out on my own, we'll talkin a quarter.
And I talked to them 90 dayslater because guess what I'm,
you know, I.
I ended up, I'm in a worse spotand I'm working over here now
as a side gig because I need topay down this debt when they had
(12:52):
built something before.
That gave them freedom, and Iwant to drive the other side of
that for a second.
Here you can build a businessthat gives you true freedom.
However, freedom means thatyou're in control.
Freedom means that you are theone determining what your
(13:15):
paycheck is week to week andmonth to month, you're not going
in and clocking in and you knowhow much you're getting paid
every couple weeks.
And if that scares you, good itought to a little bit.
It ought to light a little fireunder your ass and take a look
at that fear and ask yourself isthat true, or is it just false
(13:38):
evidence appearing real?
And can you take that andrealign it into excitement,
because you are the creator ofwhatever you want to create?
I'm going to end this one thereas a reminder.
You guys are the creators ofwhatever you want to create.
Okay, you can do it when youactually truly and authentically
(14:06):
give yourself permission, notthese excuses of oh well, it
just it needs to be the righttime.
I'm working through me things.
Guess what Me things arebusiness things.
Okay, business things are methings, because when you learn a
new business skill, guess whatyou learned it.
You took action.
(14:26):
That's a piece of personalgrowth, stepping into a new
paradigm, sitting in the samepersonal development pathway
that you've been in and tryingto find the key there that's
hiding from the new paradigm ofrunning your business.
So you are the creator ofwhatever you want to be and your
(14:50):
actions are the evidence ofwhat you want, what you truly
want in your subconscious rightnow.
What you have now is what youractions are saying that you want
.
So if you don't have what youthink you want, check in with
yourself and make that shift andmake that shift.
(15:20):
If you want to riff for 30minutes on how to make that
shift, grab that link below.
We can hop on.
We'll get you clear and get youmoving and if it makes sense to
move forward together, we canexplore the options.
Thank you for listening to my15 minute.
People need to hear this rantof the week.
I'll catch you guys next time.
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