July 20, 2025 • 13 mins
The journey of creating a truly effective offer is nothing short of a spiritual transformation that demands we leave our egos at the door. Are you struggling to attract clients despite knowing your coaching can transform lives? The answer might lie in your resistance to meeting clients where they actually are.
Through raw, personal examples from my fitness career, I share how I initially dreamed of training elite CrossFit competitors but had to pivot when reality showed my suburban gym members were busy professionals seeking better health, not competitive glory. Later, when I discovered the power of mindset and story work, I fell into the same trap online—trying to sell what I thought clients needed instead of what they were actively seeking. The painful result? Crickets in my DMs and a business that stalled.
The breakthrough came through a humbling realization: By insisting on selling "what they really need" rather than "what they think they want," I was letting my ego prevent me from serving people who could benefit from my skills. When I finally started talking about fitness results, hormonal optimization, and other tangible outcomes people were searching for, everything changed. Not only did leads return, but I could still deliver the deeper mindset work once clients were in my program—creating that magical moment where they exclaim, "This is so much more than I thought it would be!"
This mirrors Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey perfectly. As guides, we must meet our heroes in their ordinary world, not try to sell them tools for an abyss they don't yet know exists. Your offer should serve as the gateway drug that brings clients in through what they want, then delivers the transformation they truly need. Are you ready to undergo this spiritual journey yourself, or will you continue fighting the ego death required to create an offer that actually serves both your clients and your business? The answer may determine whether you'll build the impact and income you desire or remain stuck wondering why qualified prospects aren't responding to your message.
Ready to transform your approach? Reach out on Instagram with what resonated from this message. Let's make something happen.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
creating a world-class offer is an ego
death, a spiritual journey andwhatever else you want to call
it.
I mean, it really is, guys, andit has been this way for me
throughout the years.
You know when I opened my gym.
It's far back to that becausethere's still an offer there,
right, it's what we're servingup.
I wanted to create a CrossFitgames team.
(00:24):
I wanted to go to regionals.
Guys.
Oh man, go get that sub-230Fran time and that 300 power
clean.
Get a bunch of killers together.
Here's the thing.
I was opening a gym in thesuburbs, like, the median income
is like $100,000.
You got families.
(00:45):
People have mortg thousand, ahundred thousand dollars.
You got families.
You know people have mortgages,full-time jobs.
There's not those like 20something killers that you find
in like metropolises that aresingle and got all kinds of time
to train.
Their main goal is to go be theathlete.
And it was a hard pill toswallow back then and I went
from wanting to, from packingthese workouts with all this
(01:06):
performance stuff to making itlifestyle centered and the
people thrived more, becausethese are people who already
have a mortgage, a job, kids,they already have all these
stressors, right, they're justcoming in to burn off some steam
and go on with their day andalso, hopefully, be around for
their grandkids to to play with.
So I didn't learn the lessonfully then, though, because,
(01:32):
yeah, I understood that.
I understood it was weight lossand all that but then I went
online and, like you know 2018,2019, I was writing
individualized programs.
It was good it's just on theside from my gym but then in
2020, when that massive eventthat we all lived through came
through and upended our livesand shifted the trajectory of
(01:55):
everything, I went online fulltime, like a lot of people, full
time alongside my gym, and atthe same time, I was getting
into story work, into theenlifted method.
I had just met Mark England andI was really diving into the
magic of words and stories andthe story we tell ourselves
abracadabra with my word Icreate.
(02:16):
Any of you who have seen muchof my content sooner or later.
There's something of my back,shirtless.
I got that big abracadabratattoo right.
If I had an, had an editor, ifI, if I send this one to my
editor, maybe we'll put that inthere at this point in the video
.
Now here's the thing about thatpeople don't know they're
(02:36):
telling themselves a shit story,like how many of us actually
walk through life and say, oh,the story I'm telling myself
needs to change.
No, we get stuck in this.
If, then, man, if I can, ifcrypto moons, then I'll be good.
If I can get these clients,then I'll finally feel safe with
my money situation.
And a spoiler alert when youfeel safe with money, you'll
(02:58):
actually go to do the things toget the money.
But there I am breaking thefourth wall, telling you guys
the things that you might noteven think are the problem right
now.
And it was happening in myonline fitness business, right,
because I was still serving upfitness and nutrition, because I
knew it was a whole picturething.
(03:18):
I also knew that the mostimportant piece of it was the
stories that these guys weretelling themselves so that they
could become the man who istruly proud of what he sees in
the mirror.
And that starts inside, right.
But you know what happened tomy business when I went hard on
that message?
The leads dried up Crickets inmy DMs.
(03:41):
I mean, my content was engagedwith well by the coaches who I
was in the mindsetcertifications with.
When we talk about the thingsthat we just learned, we're
going well over our client'shead.
And here's the thing about that.
Especially those of us withmindset coaching or who get
their whole like moving past theego thing, we'll tell our
(04:01):
clients that it's not about thatthing, it's not about the ego.
But then we won't put our ownfucking ego aside to say this is
what I'm going to sell becausethis is what they need and I
know what they actually need isthe thing that'll move the lever
to get them what they say theywant.
But I'm not going to sell whatthey say they want, cause I
think that's gimmicky, I thinkthat's salesy.
(04:24):
I mean, if you still have theskills to, to affect the change
of what they actually what theythink they want, then why aren't
you selling that?
Why are you sitting in theresistance and saying no, no, no
, no, no, no, no.
I want to sell this thing, thething that I like my interests.
Guys, your business isn't yourhobby farm, right?
(04:48):
Your business is a business andit needs to match the hole that
the market wants filled.
So if that means that peoplewant nutrition coaching, if they
think nutrition is the problemand their performance in the gym
, well, if you have the skillsto help them with their
nutrition.
Maybe you start talking aboutnutrition and how it helps right
(05:13):
, or go out and find the marketwith the problems that you want
to solve.
Here's the thing, though If thatmarket isn't out there, if that
market is too elevated and theysee you as a peer more than a
leader, you're going to spendtime establishing your authority
before you have the inflow ofleads that you want.
So you can sit in theresistance and say that you're
right, and say that you know youneed to sell this thing, but if
(05:36):
your market doesn't know thatthey need that and you can help
these people, well, you aredoing them an absolute fucking
disservice, and I'm talking tome in the past like chase.
You are doing them an absolutedisservice by selling words and
stories and not selling fitness,not selling hormone
(05:58):
optimization, not selling youknow six pack abs, and I was,
and then I shifted back and Istarted talking about fitness
and how alcohol gives you manboobs and all that stuff, waking
up with a hard dick.
I'm on one today, guys, and youknow what happened.
(06:19):
I started getting a bunch ofleads, and then you know what
else happened.
I still practice the skillsthat I knew would get people
that results and they'd be ontheir first call with me.
And this is what happens, guys.
They go oh my goodness, this isso much more than I thought it
was going to be.
That is how you become aneffective and extremely powerful
(06:40):
guide.
Because if you look at JosephCampbell's hero's journey go
Google it If you want JosephCampbell's hero's journey is the
perfect display of this,because they meet the mentor,
they meet the guide in theordinary world, but we're trying
to talk to them about the abyss.
(07:00):
We're trying to sell the elixirthat they come back with.
We're trying to sell the toolsthat they'll need in the abyss,
but they don't.
They don't want to hear aboutthat, guys.
They just need us to help themget through the refusal of the
call to adventure.
That's it Okay.
And that's the ego death partof this thing.
That's the spiritual journey,that's the.
(07:21):
You know, on one hand, the, youeither die a hero or live long
enough to see yourself become avillain, and you're not
necessarily becoming an actualfucking villain, right?
You're just fucking villain,right?
You're just.
You're just changing the lensand what you used to hold this
(07:41):
egotistical, uh, high horse viewon that no, I can't sell that
you.
Then you come around to see,that is actually of service to
my clients, because if that iswhere they are, I'm a more
effective coach, I have a biggerimpact by meeting them where
they are.
Or I could be an egotisticaldickhead and tell them that
they're wrong about what theywant and I need to sell them
(08:03):
what they actually need.
That's great, guys.
I mean good luck, just turningup more bad noise on them,
because that's all these peoplewant in the beginning.
They've been running from badnoise for so long that they're
trying to turn up the good noiseon things that they think are
good you know, fitness, money,relationships, whatever it be
and they think if I go get thatthing, I can make the good noise
(08:26):
loud enough that it will drownout the bad noise.
Then you just need to make thegood noise louder and louder and
louder, because it is neverpurely joy and bliss enjoying
that stuff until the bad noiseis gone.
And most of y'all in myaudience, you get this.
But for some reason, a lot of uscontinue to resist it, continue
(08:48):
to tell our clients that no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's not just about fitness,it's about this.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's not just about fitness,it's about this, it's not just
about nutrition, it's about thiswhat if, instead, that identity
that you know you can take themto because you have that
skillset, you, you help get themto and you advertise it as the
(09:09):
gateway drug?
Your offer is the is advertisedas the gateway drug that they're
looking for.
If it's fitness, fitness is agateway drug to personal
development, right, a lot ofthings can be a gateway drug, so
give them what they want.
If only and here's the onlyonly if you truly have the
(09:31):
skills to affect that change.
Don't do something unethicalhere and try and sell something
and give them completelydifferent.
Still, take them on the journeythey think they want to go on.
And oh, by the way, now youactually have people who are
going to get in and be so superimpressed that they stick around
, that they refer people becauseit's like, wow, wow, this is so
(09:53):
much more than I thought itwould be.
This is why creating anextremely effective offer is an
ego death, a spiritual journey,because we hold on to that thing
that we think is the offer,that we think is the thing, and
we're like, oh man, it needs tobe this, cause I know, you know,
I, I know that this specificexercise exercise methodology is
(10:16):
the way, and I need to talkabout all my high end tools.
I need to talk about functionalpatterns.
I need to talk aboutintermittent fasting.
I need to, like go in deep intothe science, not really Now
talk about the result that yourclients think they want.
Talk about the identity thatthey think they're going to get
from that that you know thatyour tools will help them get.
(10:37):
But don't go before they're,even before they even trust you,
telling them they're wrongabout what they think they want.
I mean, that's ego right there.
So creating a good offer isthat ego death and then
reintegration of that ego, inthat you are allowed to make
money in your business and youare allowed to go out and put a
(10:58):
marketing message out there thatactually speaks to them where
they are, so that you can enrollclients, so that you can have
more impact, so that your ripplecan exponentially increase in
this world.
I am more and more of theopinion that coaches who fight
this ego death, fight thisspiritual journey that is
creating a good offer.
I've been here before and I'lladmit it is because I didn't
(11:22):
think I deserve the money guys,I didn't think I actually
deserve to have clients, Ididn't think I deserve to make
the impact that I make and, ifI'm being completely brutally
honest, it has taken steps tounwind that.
Because so many of us in thecoaching world we get into a
little bit of personaldevelopment.
(11:42):
We're like, oh man, Iunderstand it all.
We have decades of shit tounwind.
So we do a little bit ofpersonal development.
We're like, nope, nope, I hadthis big, great breakthrough.
Why don't I have the life Iwant?
Why don't I have the business Iwant?
Well, it's the same as afitness journey, right?
We don't get single digit bodyfat percentage.
We don't get a massive backsquat or a fast mile or whatever
(12:05):
your fitness goal is, by justlike going and working out a few
times, right?
So what?
What part of your personaldevelopment journey are you
missing?
Are you resistant?
And is it just that, like, youstill haven't fully addressed
the fact that you think you,that you don't deserve, you
(12:25):
think you don't deserve toactually make good money for
your life-changing skills?
So you're fighting that egodeath and you're fighting that
spiritual journey, because somany of us would rather be right
than have what we say we wantand that's a tough pill to
(12:46):
swallow and that's a tough pillto swallow.
So on that note because I couldgo into a whole diatribe about
your actions are indicative ofwhat you want.
So if you say you want something, if you say you want a business
, but you take three days to getback to any conversation,
you're not moving with speed ofsomebody who wants a business.
If you say you want a specificoutcome, but then you go oh, can
(13:08):
I get back to you tomorrow onthat.
You don't want that guy.
It's something in you is sayingah wait, I don't know this.
I'm going to stay exactly whereI am.
And, hey, I'm totally projectingon you guys right now by saying
you, you, you, you, you.
I know damn well, I, I, I stillexpress these patterns every
time that I come up against anew level.
(13:29):
It still express these patternsevery time that I come up
against a new level.
It's part of the game and thequestion is whether we choose to
lean into that game andactually step into the next
level or if we're just going tostay where we are and keep
proving ourselves right aboutthe shit story in our head and
then sit on our deathbed andregret that we never did the
thing.
If you're ready to actually dothe thing, come on over to
(13:51):
Instagram.
Shoot me a DM about what landedin this video.
Let's make something happen.
creating a world-class offer is an ego
death, a spiritual journey andwhatever else you want to call
it.
I mean, it really is, guys, andit has been this way for me
throughout the years.
You know when I opened my gym.
It's far back to that becausethere's still an offer there,
right, it's what we're servingup.
I wanted to create a CrossFitgames team.
(00:24):
I wanted to go to regionals.
Guys.
Oh man, go get that sub-230Fran time and that 300 power
clean.
Get a bunch of killers together.
Here's the thing.
I was opening a gym in thesuburbs, like, the median income
is like $100,000.
You got families.
(00:45):
People have mortg thousand, ahundred thousand dollars.
You got families.
You know people have mortgages,full-time jobs.
There's not those like 20something killers that you find
in like metropolises that aresingle and got all kinds of time
to train.
Their main goal is to go be theathlete.
And it was a hard pill toswallow back then and I went
from wanting to, from packingthese workouts with all this
(01:06):
performance stuff to making itlifestyle centered and the
people thrived more, becausethese are people who already
have a mortgage, a job, kids,they already have all these
stressors, right, they're justcoming in to burn off some steam
and go on with their day andalso, hopefully, be around for
their grandkids to to play with.
So I didn't learn the lessonfully then, though, because,
(01:32):
yeah, I understood that.
I understood it was weight lossand all that but then I went
online and, like you know 2018,2019, I was writing
individualized programs.
It was good it's just on theside from my gym but then in
2020, when that massive eventthat we all lived through came
through and upended our livesand shifted the trajectory of
(01:55):
everything, I went online fulltime, like a lot of people, full
time alongside my gym, and atthe same time, I was getting
into story work, into theenlifted method.
I had just met Mark England andI was really diving into the
magic of words and stories andthe story we tell ourselves
abracadabra with my word Icreate.
(02:16):
Any of you who have seen muchof my content sooner or later.
There's something of my back,shirtless.
I got that big abracadabratattoo right.
If I had an, had an editor, ifI, if I send this one to my
editor, maybe we'll put that inthere at this point in the video
.
Now here's the thing about thatpeople don't know they're
(02:36):
telling themselves a shit story,like how many of us actually
walk through life and say, oh,the story I'm telling myself
needs to change.
No, we get stuck in this.
If, then, man, if I can, ifcrypto moons, then I'll be good.
If I can get these clients,then I'll finally feel safe with
my money situation.
And a spoiler alert when youfeel safe with money, you'll
(02:58):
actually go to do the things toget the money.
But there I am breaking thefourth wall, telling you guys
the things that you might noteven think are the problem right
now.
And it was happening in myonline fitness business, right,
because I was still serving upfitness and nutrition, because I
knew it was a whole picturething.
(03:18):
I also knew that the mostimportant piece of it was the
stories that these guys weretelling themselves so that they
could become the man who istruly proud of what he sees in
the mirror.
And that starts inside, right.
But you know what happened tomy business when I went hard on
that message?
The leads dried up Crickets inmy DMs.
(03:41):
I mean, my content was engagedwith well by the coaches who I
was in the mindsetcertifications with.
When we talk about the thingsthat we just learned, we're
going well over our client'shead.
And here's the thing about that.
Especially those of us withmindset coaching or who get
their whole like moving past theego thing, we'll tell our
(04:01):
clients that it's not about thatthing, it's not about the ego.
But then we won't put our ownfucking ego aside to say this is
what I'm going to sell becausethis is what they need and I
know what they actually need isthe thing that'll move the lever
to get them what they say theywant.
But I'm not going to sell whatthey say they want, cause I
think that's gimmicky, I thinkthat's salesy.
(04:24):
I mean, if you still have theskills to, to affect the change
of what they actually what theythink they want, then why aren't
you selling that?
Why are you sitting in theresistance and saying no, no, no
, no, no, no, no.
I want to sell this thing, thething that I like my interests.
Guys, your business isn't yourhobby farm, right?
(04:48):
Your business is a business andit needs to match the hole that
the market wants filled.
So if that means that peoplewant nutrition coaching, if they
think nutrition is the problemand their performance in the gym
, well, if you have the skillsto help them with their
nutrition.
Maybe you start talking aboutnutrition and how it helps right
(05:13):
, or go out and find the marketwith the problems that you want
to solve.
Here's the thing, though If thatmarket isn't out there, if that
market is too elevated and theysee you as a peer more than a
leader, you're going to spendtime establishing your authority
before you have the inflow ofleads that you want.
So you can sit in theresistance and say that you're
right, and say that you know youneed to sell this thing, but if
(05:36):
your market doesn't know thatthey need that and you can help
these people, well, you aredoing them an absolute fucking
disservice, and I'm talking tome in the past like chase.
You are doing them an absolutedisservice by selling words and
stories and not selling fitness,not selling hormone
(05:58):
optimization, not selling youknow six pack abs, and I was,
and then I shifted back and Istarted talking about fitness
and how alcohol gives you manboobs and all that stuff, waking
up with a hard dick.
I'm on one today, guys, and youknow what happened.
(06:19):
I started getting a bunch ofleads, and then you know what
else happened.
I still practice the skillsthat I knew would get people
that results and they'd be ontheir first call with me.
And this is what happens, guys.
They go oh my goodness, this isso much more than I thought it
was going to be.
That is how you become aneffective and extremely powerful
(06:40):
guide.
Because if you look at JosephCampbell's hero's journey go
Google it If you want JosephCampbell's hero's journey is the
perfect display of this,because they meet the mentor,
they meet the guide in theordinary world, but we're trying
to talk to them about the abyss.
(07:00):
We're trying to sell the elixirthat they come back with.
We're trying to sell the toolsthat they'll need in the abyss,
but they don't.
They don't want to hear aboutthat, guys.
They just need us to help themget through the refusal of the
call to adventure.
That's it Okay.
And that's the ego death partof this thing.
That's the spiritual journey,that's the.
(07:21):
You know, on one hand, the, youeither die a hero or live long
enough to see yourself become avillain, and you're not
necessarily becoming an actualfucking villain, right?
You're just fucking villain,right?
You're just.
You're just changing the lensand what you used to hold this
(07:41):
egotistical, uh, high horse viewon that no, I can't sell that
you.
Then you come around to see,that is actually of service to
my clients, because if that iswhere they are, I'm a more
effective coach, I have a biggerimpact by meeting them where
they are.
Or I could be an egotisticaldickhead and tell them that
they're wrong about what theywant and I need to sell them
(08:03):
what they actually need.
That's great, guys.
I mean good luck, just turningup more bad noise on them,
because that's all these peoplewant in the beginning.
They've been running from badnoise for so long that they're
trying to turn up the good noiseon things that they think are
good you know, fitness, money,relationships, whatever it be
and they think if I go get thatthing, I can make the good noise
(08:26):
loud enough that it will drownout the bad noise.
Then you just need to make thegood noise louder and louder and
louder, because it is neverpurely joy and bliss enjoying
that stuff until the bad noiseis gone.
And most of y'all in myaudience, you get this.
But for some reason, a lot of uscontinue to resist it, continue
(08:48):
to tell our clients that no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's not just about fitness,it's about this.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's not just about fitness,it's about this, it's not just
about nutrition, it's about thiswhat if, instead, that identity
that you know you can take themto because you have that
skillset, you, you help get themto and you advertise it as the
(09:09):
gateway drug?
Your offer is the is advertisedas the gateway drug that they're
looking for.
If it's fitness, fitness is agateway drug to personal
development, right, a lot ofthings can be a gateway drug, so
give them what they want.
If only and here's the onlyonly if you truly have the
(09:31):
skills to affect that change.
Don't do something unethicalhere and try and sell something
and give them completelydifferent.
Still, take them on the journeythey think they want to go on.
And oh, by the way, now youactually have people who are
going to get in and be so superimpressed that they stick around
, that they refer people becauseit's like, wow, wow, this is so
(09:53):
much more than I thought itwould be.
This is why creating anextremely effective offer is an
ego death, a spiritual journey,because we hold on to that thing
that we think is the offer,that we think is the thing, and
we're like, oh man, it needs tobe this, cause I know, you know,
I, I know that this specificexercise exercise methodology is
(10:16):
the way, and I need to talkabout all my high end tools.
I need to talk about functionalpatterns.
I need to talk aboutintermittent fasting.
I need to, like go in deep intothe science, not really Now
talk about the result that yourclients think they want.
Talk about the identity thatthey think they're going to get
from that that you know thatyour tools will help them get.
(10:37):
But don't go before they're,even before they even trust you,
telling them they're wrongabout what they think they want.
I mean, that's ego right there.
So creating a good offer isthat ego death and then
reintegration of that ego, inthat you are allowed to make
money in your business and youare allowed to go out and put a
(10:58):
marketing message out there thatactually speaks to them where
they are, so that you can enrollclients, so that you can have
more impact, so that your ripplecan exponentially increase in
this world.
I am more and more of theopinion that coaches who fight
this ego death, fight thisspiritual journey that is
creating a good offer.
I've been here before and I'lladmit it is because I didn't
(11:22):
think I deserve the money guys,I didn't think I actually
deserve to have clients, Ididn't think I deserve to make
the impact that I make and, ifI'm being completely brutally
honest, it has taken steps tounwind that.
Because so many of us in thecoaching world we get into a
little bit of personaldevelopment.
(11:42):
We're like, oh man, Iunderstand it all.
We have decades of shit tounwind.
So we do a little bit ofpersonal development.
We're like, nope, nope, I hadthis big, great breakthrough.
Why don't I have the life Iwant?
Why don't I have the business Iwant?
Well, it's the same as afitness journey, right?
We don't get single digit bodyfat percentage.
We don't get a massive backsquat or a fast mile or whatever
(12:05):
your fitness goal is, by justlike going and working out a few
times, right?
So what?
What part of your personaldevelopment journey are you
missing?
Are you resistant?
And is it just that, like, youstill haven't fully addressed
the fact that you think you,that you don't deserve, you
(12:25):
think you don't deserve toactually make good money for
your life-changing skills?
So you're fighting that egodeath and you're fighting that
spiritual journey, because somany of us would rather be right
than have what we say we wantand that's a tough pill to
(12:46):
swallow and that's a tough pillto swallow.
So on that note because I couldgo into a whole diatribe about
your actions are indicative ofwhat you want.
So if you say you want something, if you say you want a business
, but you take three days to getback to any conversation,
you're not moving with speed ofsomebody who wants a business.
If you say you want a specificoutcome, but then you go oh, can
(13:08):
I get back to you tomorrow onthat.
You don't want that guy.
It's something in you is sayingah wait, I don't know this.
I'm going to stay exactly whereI am.
And, hey, I'm totally projectingon you guys right now by saying
you, you, you, you, you.
I know damn well, I, I, I stillexpress these patterns every
time that I come up against anew level.
(13:29):
It still express these patternsevery time that I come up
against a new level.
It's part of the game and thequestion is whether we choose to
lean into that game andactually step into the next
level or if we're just going tostay where we are and keep
proving ourselves right aboutthe shit story in our head and
then sit on our deathbed andregret that we never did the
thing.
If you're ready to actually dothe thing, come on over to
(13:51):
Instagram.
Shoot me a DM about what landedin this video.
Let's make something happen.
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