December 25, 2023 • 54 mins
Ready to transform your daily life with the power of mindfulness? Join me with my special guest co-host, Erin P. as we explore this profound practice. Together, we navigate through the role of mindfulness in everyday situations, from road rage to food choices, and how it can lead to a healthier, longer life. Discover how you can harness the space between stimulus and response and integrate mindfulness into your daily routine.
Delve deeper with us into the realm of neuroplasticity and the astounding ability of our brains to rewire themselves. Tina guides us through the concept of "Think Fit", the power of acknowledging our thoughts and behaviors, and the influence others have on our personal development. We journey into the world of meditation, debunking common myths and illuminating its benefits for managing thoughts, emotions, and even pain.
Finally, we reveal the potential of mind-body practices, such as yoga and meditation, and the transformative influence they can have on your emotional and physical well-being. Hear our personal experiences and confront the common excuses that deter people from these practices. We then broach the topic of technology and the benefits of disconnecting for achieving peace and focus. Round off the journey with us as we delve into the power of mindfulness in self-care and how you can incorporate it into small moments in your day. Join us in this enlightening exploration, and discover how to lead a life of mindfulness.
Don't get weird, use your head, it'll all be OK!
Looking for a coach to help you be YOUR best self? Let's get in touch!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello Erin.
Hello, so welcome to coaching.
We know what we didn'tintroduce podcasts last time.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
We introduced ourselves.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
This is coaching in cocktails.
The podcast God, I suck atpodcasting, I don't know.
This is why I'm never going tohave Brené Brown listen.
Listenership, because I'm sounprofessional.
This is Tita.
This is my special co-host,erin.
Hello, and we are going tocontinue our conversation from
Erin's interview that we did acouple of podcasts ago and if
(00:37):
you listen to our most recentpodcast, we just talked about
kind of going from how do you gofrom like zero to intuitive
eating, right, like how do youget to that space, and hopefully
we gave some actionable stepsin there, but we're, you know,
we talked a little bit aboutthis big word mindfulness which
(01:02):
I think is such a catch phraseanymore, like I almost wonder if
anybody's even paying attention, like I feel like it's gotten.
So I don't want to say overused,because I actually I do, I use
that a lot.
We want it to be used, butreally, you know, I want to kind
of demystify it a little bitand talk a little bit about what
, what it means, and like howyou can start using it, because
I I think it's a reallyimportant thing to do.
(01:23):
Like how you can start using itbecause I, I think people hear
mind, body, mindfulness,meditation and they think things
like that and they're like, oh,that hippie fruit, fruit, shit
is not for me Right Like that'shippie, fruit fruit, tree hugger
shit and I don't have time andI don't like to and I don't want
to and that's just not for me,right.
Yeah, but if you listen to ourlast podcast, at the end I said
(01:47):
you know I was going to go outon a limb and say I truly
believe that this is like thekey to longevity is is
mindfulness, and it's that's avery broad stroke, right, like
that's sort of the wave top ofit.
But I think there's like allthese little tentacles of
mindfulness, right that thatbecome this holistic part of
(02:07):
like how, how we do live alonger life, how we have more
joint our life, how we feelbetter, how we look better,
right, it's just kind of likethe thing that helps us get
there, cause this is bigoverarching thing.
And, in very simple terms, mydefinition of mindfulness and
when you look it up, it's prettymuch the same it's the space
(02:29):
between stimulus and reaction,right?
So if I were to make this realsimple, it is the stimulus.
Is somebody just cut me off intraffic?
Right, I could immediately, I'msorry.
It's a space between stimulusand response, with reaction in
(02:50):
the middle, right.
So that sorry, I had that wrong, so it was a response.
So if somebody cut me off intraffic, that's the stimulus.
If I'm not being mindful, myimmediate reaction is I'm going
to tailgate them, I'm going toget up in front of them.
I'm going to zoom in front ofthem and have road rage Right,
I'm going to flip them off.
I'm going to get up.
I'm just.
My heart rate is going to goingto go up, my blood pressure is
(03:11):
going to go up and do all thesethings.
I'm pissed.
Right, that's reaction.
I'm going to get up in front ofthem.
I'm going to get up in front ofthem.
If I'm using mindfulness, Igive myself some space, whether
that's taking a couple ofbreaths or whatever.
We'll kind of get into somepractices, but I can take a
moment, take a beat, take athought and go how do I really
(03:33):
want?
to respond to this, right, is itactually going to help me in
any way, shape or form to runinto the back of this guy or
zoom in my blood pressure up, orwill I more or less get to the
where I'm going At the same timeI would have had he not cut me
off?
Yeah, does it matter in thegrand scheme of life?
Right?
(03:53):
So I just made this, you knowit, this sound like really a
little hippie-froo-froo, butthat's what it is.
And then in that moment Idecide, no, it's not worth it,
right.
And so now I am relaxed again.
Right, I spiked my cortisol.
I was about to like I had toslam all my breaks and now I'm
like I'm right back to where Ineeded to be.
If I didn't use mindfulness Ijust spiked my cortisol I could
(04:16):
have gotten in an accident.
My heart rate goes up, I'mshaking, I'm upset.
Now my stomach's upset, and nowI can't think straight and I
get into work, and that's how Istart my day.
Yeah, right, would you agree?
Is that like, kind of like,totally agree?
A really sort of like real lifeexample of like how my?
That's what mindfulness is.
Yes, yeah 100%.
(04:37):
Yeah, and so really, it's justthat it's that space, it's that
taking that time to think, right, instead of just mindlessly
reacting to something, right?
So in our last podcast, wetalked about this in terms of of
eating, right?
So you talked about usingmindfulness as a space between
(04:59):
oh, there's a spaget chips infront of me.
Is this really what I want,right?
So if I was being mindless, Iwould just I'm tired, I'm hungry
and whatever.
I just came home from work andI'm just going to grab the bag
of chips and just start eating,or do I take a moment?
Am I really hungry?
Am I thirsty?
Is this going to help me feelbetter tomorrow?
Is this really, you know, likeasking yourself those questions
(05:24):
Again?
Stimulus is I just got homefrom work, I'm starving and
there's a bag of chips in thepantry, right?
What's my response going to be?
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Well, this is so funny.
I just thought about this asyou were giving that example.
So I took my nephew who's ninehe'll be 10 next month to
Christmas Lays last weekend andI got we packed really healthy
snacks and apples and carrotsticks and all the things and
popcorn and things.
And he was just going to townon that kind of stuff and we had
(06:00):
I met my sister at like a fastfood place just to meet up and
he said mommy, can we get BurgerKing?
And I said, well, wait a second, we have extra sandwiches in
the car, we have some appleslices still.
And then he goes oh, nevermind.
And I was like whoa.
(06:21):
So it was weird because I thinkabout that with people like
adults too.
You know, like when you comehome from work and you're really
, really hungry and you're like,well, I'm hungry, so I'm just
going to eat all these chips,okay, well, if you're really
that hungry, why don't you eat acouple of apples or like some
carrots?
And then if you're still hungry, then you can have the chips.
So when you do that, pausing alittle bit, that can lead you on
(06:44):
a better path than maybe whatyou would have went down if you
didn't take that time to say,wait, okay, I'm really really
hungry, let me eat some reallyhealthy things now and then.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
If I really want the chips after I eat the healthy
stuff, great, eat them Like youknow, right, because if you're
really, really hungry, if you'retruly hungry, then the healthy
stuff will be just as appealing,exactly, and in that moment,
yeah my nephew was not reallyhungry.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
He just saw Burger King and was like I want the
fries.
And when I said, oh, we shouldeat the, then he was like oh,
nevermind.
So it was really funny, youknow, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
So let's talk about.
So that's great, right To beable to use those things, but it
really is a skill, right?
So it's a skill that we have todevelop.
So, like you know, getting intoneuroscience which is my other
leaky favorite thing, right,because I was telling you before
we started, like I came up withthis whole sort of concept of
something that you know I mightdo as a program at some point in
(07:46):
the future called Think Fit,right, because the premise is
like, from a neuroscienceperspective, you know, our
brains are hardwired to be acertain way they're developed.
We have the wiring in ourbrains is the way.
It is because of habits andthings and learned behaviors
that we've had over the years,how we developed as children,
the experiences we had aschildren and to adulthood, so on
(08:07):
and so forth.
So we have these loops, right?
So just imagine I'm alwaysdoing things like people can see
.
So if you can see my hand goingaround in a loop, we have these
loops, these feedback loops inour brain, and those are the
things that are comfortable forus, right?
So if my comfort is, come home,I'm exhausted, eat a bag of
(08:29):
chips, cut people off in traffic, have really negative reactions
to everything because I'malways, you know, shooting off
the hip or whatever.
That's what I'm always going todo.
That's natural for me.
That is what is programmedcurrently in my brain, the only
way to.
I am here to tell everybodythat neuroplasticity is the
(08:50):
coolest thing on the planet.
So if you think you're just theway you are because that's how
you're always going to be, it'sabsolute bullshit.
Neuroscience, like actualscience, says you can change
your brain chemistry.
Right, you can changeeverything.
It's simple, but it's not easy,right?
(09:12):
So, in very simple terms, youcan rewire your thoughts, you
can rewire your behaviors, allof those things.
So if you practice it enough,right is.
So if you have a particularbehavior, so if it's go to the
pantry every day when I comehome from work, right, because
that's my nap go have a drink.
(09:33):
Let's have a drink every daywhen I go home from work.
So maybe that's not the bestone, because I don't want to.
I mean, I don't want to getinto, like actual addiction,
chemical addiction.
So go to the pantry every dayon the way home from work or
when I go home from work, so I'mhungry.
The only way to stop that is tochange the behavior, right.
So the first time you do it,it's not gonna be easy.
You're gonna be like, oh, Ireally want the chips, right,
(09:55):
but instead you go for a walk,or instead you have carrot
sticks, whatever, and then yougot to do it again.
It might be hard for a week,right, but every single time you
do it, whatever this new, youreplace an old behavior with a
new behavior or an old thoughtwith a new thought.
You're starting to create a newneurofeedback loop, right, so
(10:16):
you're kind of changing.
So if you think of, like how ariver starts to cut through a
mountain, right, like water cutsthrough a mountain and create
these crevices and likemountains, right.
So now we have riverbeds, butyou can redirect that, right, so
you could, like, put a dam upand then force the river to go
somewhere else and then it'llcut a whole through, cut a
riverbed through some other partof the rock.
(10:37):
So it's the same thing with ourbrain science.
So I have to practice it enoughfor it to take hold, because
our brains want to keep uscomfortable.
The only thing our brain is.
The number one thing is ourbrain is survival, right, it's
got to keep us alive, it's gotto keep us, and comfort is the
way to do that, even ifcomfortable is detrimental,
(11:00):
right, because there's a lot ofcomfortable things we do in our
lives that are detrimental toour health and well-being.
So the key is to recognize thatyou have this behavior and to
consciously change the behavioror the thought or whatever the
thing is that you want to changeand do it over and over and
over again.
(11:20):
So I say, like your brain isyour biggest muscle, if you're
somebody who likes to go to thegym and built big, giant biceps
like Aaron's, right, like she'dget big giant, weird bicep peaks
by not going to the gym anddoing repetition after
repetition after repetition,right, you don't change your
(11:41):
behavior, your thoughts, youdon't change your brain without
also doing the same type ofrepetition.
So you can change neurosciencesays so right, you just have to
be able to, and it is actuallyfairly simple as far as, like,
how that the wiring in yourbrain works, but it does take a
lot of work.
So it's simple, but it's noteasy because you have to be able
(12:03):
, you have to actually bewilling to do it.
Now, to that point, how do Ieven know I'm having these
thoughts, right?
Cause these thoughts are juston loop.
I don't ever think about mythoughts, they're just happening
.
I don't think about mybehaviors, they're just
happening.
So how do I get there, aaron,like how do I get to a place
where I even know that I'mhaving these thoughts and I'm
doing these things?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Well, I think this is where other people can kind of
help too.
If you are living with somebodyor people at work or what have
you, they can kind of like helpyou recognize things in yourself
that you don't know arehappening.
So people that I'm closer to,they know what sets me off,
(12:48):
quote unquote.
I'm very regimented and ifsomething goes off of that time
thing or if something doesn'thappen the way I thought it was
gonna happen, I react a certainway, and that's something that
I'm working on right now, soother people can kind of give
you feedback on that.
Also, the idea of changing yourbrain yeah, it can happen, for
(13:14):
sure, definitely.
And no, it's not a simple thingor it's not an easy thing to do
.
But I think what you need toknow is patience with yourself
too, because, especially withthe new year coming up, everyone
wants to change and be betterand that's wonderful, but it
never, it always kind of fallsby the wayside by February, you
(13:37):
know.
And why does that happen?
And it's because people don'thave patience with themselves
and they don't.
If they mess up or if theydon't do something or take a
step back and have thatmindfulness, then they're like
oh, it's not for me, I'm notgonna do it anymore.
You have to keep working at it.
(13:59):
Don't give up on yourself.
You are your biggestcheerleader.
You're the one that lovesyourself the most out of anybody
.
You cannot give up on yourself.
So when you're like, oh, thisisn't working, I've only been
doing it for a week or two, butI don't feel any different.
You can't give up.
I spent so long of not feelingdifferent and then when I
(14:23):
finally started getting thelittle wins over time and I was
like, oh my gosh, I am, I amdoing better.
Like this is working and Icannot wait for me to be better
than I am now.
Like you have to keep workingat it.
But you have to have patiencewith yourself and with time.
Everyone now is the instantgratification.
(14:46):
If it doesn't work in a day,then it's not.
For me, that has gotta stop,and I think social media and the
phone and all the technologyhas a lot to do with that.
But you have to give yourselfthat time and that patience and
consistency to allow it tohappen.
And it's going to happen, trustme.
(15:07):
It will happen.
It might not be in a month or aweek or whatever.
It might not even be in a year,but when it does, you're going
to know it and it's going to begreat Like you just have to keep
working at it.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
And I would say yes, 100%, to all of those things,
because changing your thoughts,changing your behaviors, these
are the keys to being able togrow, and whatever your goal is
(15:41):
right.
So if you wanna start going tothe gym, you wanna get bigger
biceps, you wanna lose body fat,you wanna run a marathon, you
wanna you know all of thesethings, if you want to achieve
those things, you're going tohave to change your mindset
about something right, likewhatever it is you're currently
doing is probably not going towork to get you there, so you're
(16:02):
going to have to do thesethings.
So, really, the thing we wannatalk about today is like, how do
we get to the space ofmindfulness?
Because it is.
We are not a mindful society,right?
So the instant gratification,the constant simulation, the go,
go, go, like we are just this,like fast paced driven.
(16:23):
There is no like sort of.
There's just no mindfulness,right.
So how do we get to?
I want our listeners to be ableto understand how to start to
get to this mindfulness place,which will allow them to be able
to stop and go.
What is my reaction to this?
(16:44):
Why am I reaching for the chips?
Why am I, you know, why is thistriggering something in me,
right?
Because these things that aregoing on in our brains are
hardwired and they're just goinggoing, going, going, going,
like I think a lot of us have somany like the negative thoughts
that we have I'm too fat, I'mtoo skinny, I'm ugly, I'm lazy,
(17:08):
I'm this, I should do that, Ishould do that.
They're just on loop and wedon't even know we're having
them because they're just onloop, right?
This is just the narrativegoing on in our brain.
So we have to get to a placewhere we can do that.
So I highly recommend to peoplelike I think one of the absolute
best places to start is withmeditation, and I get a lot of
(17:33):
pushback on meditation because Ithink people have these
misconceptions that when you'remeditating, you're supposed to
have no thoughts, you'resupposed to have to clear your
mind and everything's going tobe like I'm just going to be a
blank canvas and I'm just goingto sit there for five minutes,
10 minutes, however long, andI'm just going to.
I'm going to have no thoughts.
(17:54):
And every time I introducesomebody to a mindfulness or
meditation practice or like Ican't do it, it's too hard, my
thoughts won't stop racing.
I'm like that's the point.
That's the point.
That is the point.
So I want everybody tounderstand that when you first
start a meditation practice,meditation is not about stopping
your thoughts.
Meditation is about allowingthe thoughts, allowing the
(18:17):
thoughts to pass through likelittle clouds and like just let
them, without judgment.
Right, but the key is withoutjudgment, it's okay to have
thoughts.
I have ever had a and I've beenmeditating for years.
I haven't ever had a singlemeditation where my mind didn't
drift off to something else.
And I personally love guidedmeditation.
(18:37):
I do.
I will meditate for shortperiods of time without it, but
I love guided meditations forthat reason.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
So I think yeah, that's how I started.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
It's really important when you're getting started to
not try to just sit quietly in aroom, indian style, for 20
minutes with.
Guided meditation is great.
There's apps out there.
Headspace is great.
Healthy minds is a really coolone one of my clients introduced
me to because it literally itlike teaches you about all the
mindfulness stuff.
(19:06):
That one's really cool.
I use my Peloton app, for Ilove doing guided meditations
from Ross Rayburn.
I just love that man.
He's great.
I do his yoga too, so there'sno reason to not do a.
There's so much free shit outthere for guided meditation.
But that's how I recommendpeople start, because it helps
(19:27):
to you know, to kind of guideyou, to like where am I supposed
to be Right?
Like trying to go back to yourbreath or trying to go back to
whatever the thing you know,listening to the voice of the
person.
I think tends to help, or likeusing that guidance helps
because it's again like I can'ttell you, like I'm always like,
well, I'm thinking about what Igot to do the rest of the day,
(19:48):
or maybe I'm not really intolike whatever a visualization
Ross has given me that day, butI'm like, nope, bring it back
right.
Like I'm just bringing it back.
That's what meditation does andit is not, like I said, it's
not meant to silence your brain.
It's meant to teach you how tobring yourself back to your
(20:12):
breath or to something else.
Right, to pay attention to yourthoughts, without latching onto
that thought and hanging ontoit for dear life and then
running away with it, right.
So it's a practice that, again,in neuroscience terms and there
are lots of studies out thereabout this now, how meditation
(20:35):
and learn, you know, kind ofrewiring your brain through
meditation.
I mean, people live.
I'm not gonna go super crazy,but like diseases have been
healed.
People with chronic pain do notfeel they're pain anymore.
They can manage pain from it.
So, but to kind of bring it towhat we're talking about,
learning using meditation tolearn how to have a thought, let
(21:00):
it go and refocus your mind.
It's about refocusing your mindis how you get to this place of
I'm reaching in the pantry forthe food.
How do I stop myself frommindlessly eating, right, would
you agree?
Like that's kind of like, butyou can't get there without
practicing it.
Yeah, and meditation is hard.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
That's the key word here practice, like yoga is a
practice.
Meditation is a practice.
Everything you can't just begood at yoga or there's nobody
like everybody does thingsdifferently.
Like the way I practice yoga isdifferent from you know
somebody that I work with.
Or the way I do mindfulness iscompletely different from how
(21:42):
Tina does it or how somebodyelse does it.
It's the way that works for you.
Okay, it's ever evolving, soit's gonna get better.
You're gonna get better.
It's not just you reach aplateau and you're like, okay,
I'm the best meditator ever, I'mgonna just stop here.
Like, again, it's that wordpractice.
You just keep going and gettingbetter and better and better
(22:03):
and better.
You know.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
But I think that's key though, Erin.
It is a meditative practice, itis a yoga practice and it is
something you always are doingright, but that is the training,
that's your brain training.
Meditation is brain training tohelp you with all these other
things.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Right and I always go back to like when I think about
yoga.
Most people, when they hear theword yoga, they think of a very
thin woman in tight bra, tightspandex, you know stick thin,
doing all these poses, whenthat's really not what yoga is.
No, it's different foreverybody and there's no right
(22:45):
or wrong way to meditate.
There's no right or wrong wayin a meditative yoga.
So, like, when I'm giving my,when I give my kind of how I
started the meditation, like I'mnot telling you that that's how
you're supposed to do it.
There's no right way to do itLike and again, thinking about
like.
When people think of the wordmeditation, they think of a
(23:06):
Buddhist monk in a cave.
You know out.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
That doesn't speak for a week.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, who's in the like not eating for a week,
that's, you know, not thinkingabout anything.
And yeah, that's part ofmeditation, but that's not.
We can't do that.
That's not an everyday kind ofthing.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
So it's not practical for those of us who are monks
living in Tibet.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
No.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
So, yes, but you're right.
So it's not.
There's no right or wrong wayto do it.
And before I even started doinglike guided meditations cause I
really had to force myself todo it I was a.
I'm looking at it as hard.
I can't stop my brain until Istarted doing it and I was like
oh duh, you dummy, like that'sthat's but I, you know, I would
(23:48):
spend, excuse me, there aregutter cleaners apparently
coming up on my roof in front ofme, so let me put that down.
The dogs are going nuts.
That's why I have my my earbudsin, so hopefully nobody can
hear the dogs and the guttercleaners coming up on my roof.
Anyway, back to being mindful.
I spend, I kid you not aminimum of three to five minutes
(24:12):
at the end of my shower everymorning and scolding hot water,
with my head lowered and my eyesclosed, and that is how I end
every shower and I start every.
Well, my day started startsbefore my shower, cause I work
out and stuff in the morning,but that is how I center myself
for the day.
Right, I do deep breathing.
I'm in there just lettingthoughts pass.
(24:32):
So that is my non-guidedmeditation and that's how I
really started meditating.
It was this like three to fiveminutes in a scolding hot shower
every morning.
And then I started doing actualguided meditations and found you
know, found so much benefitfrom those.
And you know, some weeks I doone or two, some weeks I do
three or five.
But it's that practice of it,right?
(24:54):
So you know once, you and I andI can tell when I have fallen
out of practice, because I dostart to feel a little bit more
anxious.
I start to have a little bitmore like racing thoughts that I
can't quite get control of andI'm like, and we'd better get
back to our practice becausewe've been a little bit lax on
it, right so, but it really doestake practice.
But I think the number onething that I get pushed back on,
(25:15):
I want everybody to understandis yes, there's no right or
wrong way to do it.
You do not need to lightincense and sit on a pillow and
have a special little place.
You can do it in your car, youcan sit in your chair, you can
lay on the floor.
The key is to do it, practiceit it, keep working on getting
(25:36):
better at it, because there isno end to it.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
No, there's not.
You can only get better.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
And the same thing with yoga.
Yoga is another mind-bodypractice, right, and the goal of
yoga is to allow you to connectwith your breath, right during
movement, right, so it's bodyawareness, and yoga is not
hippie-frufru.
Bodybuilders and people wantingto build bigger biceps, like
Erin's, should be doing yoga too, not to keep beating you up
(26:05):
about your creepy biceps.
I might be a little jealous,but that is the point of it,
right?
Like you're going to be abetter bodybuilder.
You're going to be, I mean,bring the physical benefits,
right, you're going to be moreflexible, but you're going to
have better body awareness andconnection with your breath, and
that's only going to help youphysically, let alone
(26:28):
emotionally, right?
So that's why we call all ofthese things mind-body practices
.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Right, and it's another thing you know I do the
habit stacking, you know.
So, Tina, that's a perfectexample of you know, after your
shower you're sitting for justthree minutes and you're just
standing in the shower.
There's nothing that's.
You know, you don't have yourphone near you.
You don't have anybody elsethere, Like it's just you.
(26:51):
You hope, yeah, hopefully,Maybe a dog or cat or something,
Maybe you're hungry.
I don't even let them in thebathroom, like that is literally
my time.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Nobody's allowed in there during my shower
meditation time.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
But, like you know, you take just that and that in
itself is great.
And then once you figure outlike, okay, yeah, I could
probably do a little bit morethan you, maybe add on a little
bit more time, or get out of theshower and like when you're
putting your moisturizer on,really like think about what
you're doing, you know self-careand you're you know, after your
(27:24):
shower, so that could bemeditation.
When I started I I drink lemonwater in the morning before I do
anything.
So I come, you know, after I'mkind of doing my thing in the
bathroom, I come downstairs andI didn't even know it was quote
unquote meditation.
I poured myself my water in thelemon and I was like doing
(27:46):
things as I was drinking it andI realized that I wasn't
drinking it like because I'm ona time you know, construction
for, for work.
So I'm like doing all thesethings and I'm drinking my water
and I'm like, well, I have toeat my breakfast, but I like to
have my water in for a littlebit first before I eat.
And then I was like, sit on thecouch and drink your water.
(28:06):
So I started doing that and ohmy gosh, the piece I got just
from that and I'm like thatother stuff can wait, it's still
going to be there, like it'llget done.
But I take up just a fewminutes and I drink my water and
I feel the water going down andI think about, you know, like
it's just so crazy how.
(28:28):
That's how I started and now Ihave a meditation corner.
I have one in my office, likeso you just just build upon
those kind of things.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Because it's addictive in a good way, Right
Like it's.
It's one of those things whereyou're like, like.
I realized I had this habit oflike always having something on
in the background.
Right Like prior to COVID itwas the news, and now the news
is like literally never on in myhouse.
Prior to COVID in politics, Iwas like it was like just the 24
hour news cycle.
(28:56):
I always got the news on allday long.
I worked from home and it wason downstairs and I'd see it
when I go, and that went awayvery quickly.
But I realized, like, like,when I'm, even when I'm in the
kitchen doing dishes, cleaning,making dinner, cooking my
breakfast I've got a podcast andaudio book.
I've got something going on inthe background music, whatever
and I've actually started and Istill enjoy that.
(29:17):
That's how I get my readingdone, because I really don't sit
down to read.
I listen to books on audio book.
But I started I realized that Ihad stimulation all the time,
right.
So besides my actual meditationtime I make in my little shower
, meditation time, I make myselfbe in my kitchen, sometimes
(29:38):
eating or whatever, with nothingon, no phone beside me, no
music on.
I'm just sitting there with myfood taking a breath in between
each bite, right, it might onlybe five minutes and listen.
I am going everybody that'slistening to this like I don't
have time.
Fuck off.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
That's what I was just about to talk about.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yeah, no, no, no, no off because, right, like nobody
has time, I have the same 24hours, aaron has the same 24
hours.
Everybody has the same 24 hoursRight, you can make five.
There is five minutes in yourday.
You're scrolling on your phone,you're sitting too long on the
shitter or whatever it is thatyou're doing goofing off.
(30:17):
Right, like you have fiveminutes.
Three minutes.
Yeah, I don't care, don't takefive minutes, do three minutes,
I don't care.
Right, you have it.
You just need to make it apriority.
You're reading, right, heart,yep, heart.
Meditation is hard.
I'm not even going to pretendlike it's not, but so is
everything you do for the firsttime, right, I can't do it
(30:39):
because I have racing thoughts.
That's exactly why you need todo meditation, right?
The only way you're ever goingto get control of your stress,
your racing thoughts.
You're all the you know.
Your negative thoughts, you'reall the things You're not going
to.
So so, yes, and again,meditation is not the Buddhist
monk sitting in Tibet, for youknow, not speaking for months on
end.
Right, it is.
It could be two minutes in yourshower, it could be.
(31:01):
I'm sitting in my chair rightnow and I could just close my
eyes if I wasn't sitting heretalking to Aaron and just do
some deep breathing for twominutes.
Mm, hmm, say it, yeah, you justneed to do it, and consistently
, and put it into practice, andthen you can start to.
What happens, if you haven'tbeen a meditator and actually
(31:23):
done this, is that you do startto be able to pay attention to
your thoughts, right?
So, again, you're like I'mhaving these thoughts and there
goes that thought and there goesanother thought.
So now you're teaching yourmind, your brain, how to
recognize when these thoughtsare happening.
So now, as I put this intopractice, I have now training my
(31:44):
brain to see what my thoughtsare Right.
And so I started going oh, Ididn't know I was having that
thought and I didn't know I wasfeeling that way.
And that's how then you canstart to put these other things
we've talked about from anutrition perspective right
being a little bit more mindfulabout your nutrition or your
training day, or I mean God, Imean the way that being mindful
(32:08):
helps with Training strength isincredible, like the amount of
people I see scrolling away ontheir phone while they're
warming up on the treadmill.
Right, like I don't ever dothat, like my five minute warm
up on my treadmill will have awinner.
As I'm doing, I'm warming up, Iam like visualizing my workout,
(32:29):
I am like getting into, likethis is what I'm going to do,
right.
So that's another form ofmindfulness.
It's another form, almost, ofmeditation.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
It's like kind of my my training, my brain to get
ready, prepare for my workout,kind of thing and picturing
yourself working out and whatit's going to look like and how
you're going to feel and theweight you're going to do and
all the things.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Visualization is another form of mindfulness.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and there's so many things I can
talk about with this.
I think the most, most of thethings that we're going to be
talking about in this one, inthis podcast and other ones, I
think, if you remove your phoneaway from you for a little bit,
(33:15):
that's another thing that I wantto.
I guess we could tie that intomindfulness too.
Yes, everybody is so addictedto technology now it's scary,
like it's very scary, and wheretechnology is great, love it.
Obviously, use it all the timewe're using it right now.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
We're using it right now.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
But there are times and places for it and I think
when I would put my phone acrossthe room or in a different room
and focus on something thathelped me tremendously, and I
have ADHD, so having all thesethings in front of me that would
distract me definitely was notgood, and I couldn't.
(34:00):
I would never concentrate onone thing.
I was always the let me startthis, oh wait, let me get.
Oh I have to do this and gofrom one thing to the next.
And when I put my phone awayand I put it in a drawer or
whatever and I leave itsomewhere where I can't see it,
that helps a lot and that couldbe your first step to meditation
(34:22):
.
Just getting rid of that phonefor a few minutes and, my God,
the piece that you get from notscrolling.
It's absolutely amazing, likeyou forget what it was like not
having a phone.
But then, when you actually putit away and like don't think
about it, it just feels so muchbetter.
You feel so much better.
(34:43):
So maybe start with that andget rid of that cell phone.
And if you have kids, they'llsee that too, because the kids
now that's what it is.
It's glued to their hand andthey're like this.
And when their parents are onit they're like, okay, well, I'm
gonna be on it too, and they'relearning those bad habits from
(35:05):
the parents.
So put your phone away for alittle bit, get some peace and
do something.
Even if you have to dosomething like, oh, I have to
cook dinner.
Yeah, cook dinner but do itmindfully, like, don't have your
phone near you and scrolling onInstagram while you're putting
your ingredients in and stuff.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I can't tell you how many things I've burned on my
stove doing that.
By the way, I set the pan onthe stove to heat it up and I'm
like, why don't I go scroll myphone real quick?
Next thing I know, I'm like, ohGod, whatever my pan is.
But I wanna add to that.
I've had several.
I did a podcast a brand new.
I did one on kind of like doingthese factory resets of our
(35:46):
bodies.
Right, like, kind of like.
When I have these we term themhigh vibration clients who are
just like I can't get them totake rest days and it's like
when nutrition and trainingisn't working anymore and
weights going up, and itshouldn't be so it's just like
the body is in chaos.
Right, the body is in chaos,the mind is in chaos.
So we do this factory reset,and part of it is 30 minutes a
(36:10):
day, part of what I have askedthese clients that have had to
do this full blown factory reset30 minutes a day of no stimulus
.
You literally have to sit andstare at a wall, right, like.
You can get out your journaland write, but there's no phone,
tv, music, husband, wife,nothing Like I want you to sit
(36:32):
for 30 minutes and boy did I getsome feedback on that, right,
like it was miserable, it's hard, like whatever.
Now, once they got into thepractice of it like I have some
that have continued with it,right, they're just like wow,
like wow.
Some said, you know, I had allthese thoughts and then there
(36:54):
were tears, and then there waslike all of these things,
because we have a tendency tonever give ourselves time to sit
and think, for some, like it'sa trauma response, right, being
busy all the time is a traumaresponse, right, because then
you don't have to sit and thinkabout anything.
So, yeah, that shit's hard,feeling shit is hard, but not
(37:17):
allowing ourselves, you know andthis can get into a whole topic
of like, really why people tendto like emotionally overeat,
and there's all the numbingthings, right.
So, whether it's alcoholism oraddicted to training or whatever
addictions there are, right.
Or being just being busy allthe time, right, this martyrdom
I think we talked about, youknow, and just because I'm so
(37:38):
busy, and then just taking onmore and more and more this
human giver syndrome that wehave as women, right?
So all of the things that weput ourselves through, feelings
are hard, but not feelingfeelings is even harder because
it's going to kill you, right,like it's probably the biggest
stressor you can put on yourbody to like not let feelings
(37:59):
out and like, try to hide themand all these things.
So we hide them withmindfulness is how we get
through that, right, andallowing ourselves to feel the
feels and to let things gowithout judgment and all of
those things.
But it's never going to work tojust keep trying to avoid.
So you're and I can see thesepatterns in these high vibration
(38:20):
clients all the time right,it's this avoidance.
Have to have to have a goal,have to be busy, blah, blah,
blah.
And I was that person.
And the reason why I can see it?
Because I was there.
I was that person, right, I wasthe hashtag team.
No sleep, I'll sleep when I'mdead.
Grind, grind, grind, grind,grind, grind.
I only need four hours of sleep.
I'm up at 2.30 in the morningto do, you know, like, yes, I've
(38:41):
been there, I've done that.
We all have to go through it atsome point.
But it is incredible when youcan sit with yourself in a very
quiet setting and just be right,and the incredible benefits
that I know, I know you have had, I have had I'm speaking from
(39:02):
experience my clients who havemeditation practices and
journaling practices and, youknow, mindfulness practices and
yoga practices and all of thesethings that we practice.
They're just healthier in everyway, right, not just physically
, mentally, emotionally.
They have better relationships,right.
Like this, mindfulness carriesover into everything.
(39:24):
So, whether it's five maybe youdon't do 30 minutes but, like
you said, five minutes, we didit at our retreat last year.
Right, we surprised the shitout of it.
It was something we decided todo last minute.
We made everybody put theirphones in a basket and sent them
off.
At 30 minutes you can't talk toeach other, you can't.
You can take a journal, but yougo somewhere, you buy yourself
(39:46):
anywhere, and some of them wentfor walks.
That's another thingmindfulness, walking right.
Walks in nature, mindfulnesswalking, not with earbuds in
right, not listening to apodcast, not even talking to a
friend.
Go out, take a walk, listen tothe leaves, listen to the trees,
listen to look.
(40:07):
My mind starts racing.
I do mindfulness walking like Itry to go out in the middle of
the day when it's nice outside.
And I realized, like I'mthinking ahead to like what am I
gonna do when I'm home?
What are I gonna do when I'mhome, when I'm done with this 20
minute walk?
What am I gonna do?
And I'm like nope, listen tothe leaves crunch under my feet
in the fall, listen to the windblow, listen to that duck quack
over at the duck pond, right,like it's just that.
(40:28):
And again, five minutes, fiveminutes if you don't have 10, if
you don't have 20, right.
Like these are the just nostimulus and you practice it.
You make it as much a part ofyour daily routine as brushing
your teeth and taking a shower.
Cause, if you have time to dothose things, you have time to
do that, yeah Right.
Are there other like littlethings you think people could do
(40:53):
to kind of like start amindfulness practice that aren't
like hippie-froo-froomeditation?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Well, like I said, have it like building on is so
key and that's what's workingfor me, because I'm you know,
I'm like, oh, I want more,because this is so great, I want
to do something else.
So, you know, I don't knowmorning routines I think that
should be a podcast in itself.
And evening routines I think wecan, we can build on that.
But you know, in the morning Idon't know, most people reach
(41:23):
for their coffee or tea orsomething in the morning.
You know, start like with thattoo, like, take three minutes
and just sip on your coffeesitting at your kitchen table if
you have a second before youstart getting all your stuff
ready for work, and what reallyworked for me.
And people are going to be like,oh my gosh, I wake up early,
(41:44):
like I'm always been in amorning person anyway, so that
really doesn't bother me.
But when I told people that Iwake up a little bit like before
five o'clock in the morningbecause I want to, not because I
have to.
I don't have to wake up at foursomething in the morning to get
to work by seven or six thirty,like, I do it because I want to
.
You know, set your alarm justfive minutes early and get up
(42:07):
and just sit in your bed for acouple of minutes.
Do you like some lightstretching or something and feel
your body getting like readyfor the day?
You know, but starting small isso important.
You know, we're not asking youto do, you know, 30 minutes of
sitting on a pillow with youknow, your meditation area and
(42:29):
all that kind of stuff.
That would be awesome if youcould do that, because it does.
It's so nice.
But, but yeah, just starting sosmall, like think about your day
, think about all the thingsthat you have to do, and maybe a
little bit of time like be likeoh well, after lunch I don't
have a meeting until this timeMaybe I can take a quick walk
(42:50):
outside, even if it's around mywork building or you know up and
down the steps at work or youknow things like that.
So that was me and I.
I carved some time out afterlunch to go outside for myself,
because I'm very stimulated atwork.
I have a lot of things that Ihave to do, a lot of people that
I have to see, but I made thatthat 10 minutes.
(43:13):
I'm like, nope, that's an, I'mputting my boundaries there.
I'm going to go outside or I'mgoing to take a couple of laps
around the school without beingbothered to get away from my
computer and center myself backto being better.
Because when you do these things, you are a better person, for
not only yourself but for otherpeople you provide better your,
(43:37):
your listening's, better your,your, your empathy, I think,
grows, your gratitude grows somuch.
And it's really, it trulyreally is amazing.
Once you, you know, kind of geton that, that mindfulness train
.
You're like man, this is great,I don't want to stop.
I don't want to stop, you wantto keep getting more and more
(43:58):
and more.
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
It really.
It is like I mean, the benefitsare endless, like I can say.
For me personally, like I wasalways, I was that high
vibration, high strung, like Iwill like throw, punch you at
the drop of a dime, right, likeI was just, I was like a
firecracker, ready to be set offon a regular basis.
I was so high vibration and youknow, the more and more I
(44:21):
started doing this mindfulnessand again, it's little, it's
little things, and for me it wasturning off the fucking
television with COVID andpolitics.
I was like I cannot have thatstimulus in my life Period.
Right, like it might be backingaway from friendships or
relationships, even right, likeI think the more I I did so,
(44:43):
that habit sacking rate that youtalk about, the more you do,
the more you want right, themore you crave like the more
mindfulness I learned andpracticed, the more I wanted
right, and it was for me to letgo of the to identify toxic
thoughts, toxic people, toxicemotions, anything that was
going to impede on my own piece,cause, like my, my word is like
(45:05):
peace, right, like I.
Just I need internal peace, andso it became very easy for me
to filter everything in my lifethrough this Is this going to
bring me peace or is this notgoing to bring me peace?
Yeah, bring me joy.
Does this not bring me joy?
I wouldn't have had that if Ididn't start just doing those
little things.
Right, like, I'm not tellinganybody on this podcast that you
(45:27):
know you're going to suddenlyfind all the joy in your life
because you're meditating fiveminutes a day, right, like it's
not.
That's not what's going tohappen.
You have to do the mindfulnesspractice in some way, shape or
form.
Sit in your chair and do deepbreathing for a minute, 60
seconds.
If you can't give me fiveminutes, give me 60 seconds,
(45:47):
right, and maybe do that twotimes a day, right, before you
get out of your car and comeinto the house, if that's your
bewitching hour that you'realways like.
I got to.
Like you go from like a hardjob to like kids and sit in your
car for 60 seconds and breathedeep.
You have 60 seconds.
(46:08):
I promise you this.
Right, it will make all thedifference in the world.
Center yourself, groundsyourself, and you will be able
to start to do more of that.
The more you do, the more youwill be able to do.
Right.
And then it's weird because Isit here now still practicing.
Right, because it is an ongoingprocess.
(46:28):
Like we said, this is not likeI have not suddenly, like I'm
not healed and perfect.
I'm not a Tibetan monk yet,right, so it's like.
But it gives me the skill tocontrol what I need to control,
right, it gives me the skill tocontrol my mind.
It does not make all thethoughts go away.
I do not wake up and I'm likefilled with joy and peace and
(46:51):
gratitude, right Like sometimesI wake up and I feel fat.
Right, fat is not a feeling.
But sometimes you have those andyou're like, all right, I'm
moving on with my day right Likeagain.
You have thoughts.
You do not judge them.
There's no guilt, there's noshame.
It really teaches you to beable to be.
It's about awareness and thenbeing able to do something about
(47:13):
it or not.
That's what it comes down to,right, like if we had to really
simplify it, like because wehave talked about all these
wonderful benefits.
But if we're talking aboutchanging habits to be healthier,
whether it's nutrition,training, you know, job stuff,
trying to be better at your job,trying to be a better parent,
trying to be a better co-workerhusband, brother, mother, sister
(47:34):
, spouse if you can't getcontrol of your own thoughts,
your own emotions, you cannotextrinsically be there for
anyone else, right?
The fifth one in this and itlies about there being a very
powerful vacuum of custody.
Limit a skill, not armor theskill with your brain to be able
(47:57):
to handle all the othersituations.
And then you will find, like Isaid, like I sit here now and I
think back to like, wow, what adifferent person I am.
Yeah, right, like I, just I canwatch the new.
You know, my husband will stillget like really wound up about
like stuff and the news,watching the news and stuff and
I'm like unbothered, I mean,yeah, I'm like that's horrible
(48:22):
and that's really sad and that's, but also I got to let that go.
Right, like I can't, I can'thold on to all the things of
everybody.
Right, like there are things Ican do things about and there
are things I can't.
Yeah, but there's just that'sjust kind of like where I find
myself.
So, but to add on to your likewhen you wake up in the morning
so my husband does the samething.
(48:42):
He does not have to get up at430 in the morning, but he likes
to have this 30 minutes of it'snot really mindfulness, but it
is him like preparing for hisday with his coffee, he's got
the news on and he's scrollinghis phone Right.
So it's not exactly theembodiment of my, but it's his
me time, but it is his.
That is his 30 minutes of.
I just need to just set myselffor the day.
Right, like I'm scrollingstupid TikToks and that's what
(49:04):
makes him happy.
Right, like that's not reallymy finalist, but but that's what
he does.
Yeah, I, when I wake in themorning, I do.
I have a before I get out ofbed and when I get into the bed
routine and it we could.
You said we should do all theother podcasts, but I'll touch
on that.
I stretch in the morning in thebed like big cat stretches like
arms over my head, point mytoes like stretching.
(49:26):
It literally takes 20 seconds.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
I stretch in like a couple of different directions,
take a big breath and then I getout of bed.
I know Brandi does a gratitudething.
She lays in bed and thinks oflike a three to five things
she's grateful for before sheeven gets out of the bed.
Right, that's the first thingshe does, right?
And then I do the same thing atnight before I roll over and go
to sleep.
I do these big.
I got this actually from theburnout book.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
I have put this into practice every day, every.
I don't go to sleep withoutdoing.
I tense every muscle in my bodyand I hold it and I put my
breath.
I take a deep breath, I tenseeverything in my body.
I do that three times and thenI do five really deep breaths
and then I go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Yeah, I do that too.
I do that fast.
That is the whole concept.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
Like if you haven't read the burnout book I highly
recommend by Namasky, but it is.
It kind of talks a lot aboutthese things.
But there was a somebody didthis practice where they like
tense every muscle in their bodyand then let it go, and they
called it kind of like breakingthe stress cycle of the day,
right, it's just like all thistension and let it go, and it
was just.
It sounded silly.
When I did it I was like I'mgoing to try it one night and I
was like this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Yeah, it feels, great it feels amazing.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
It really does feel like you're just like taking all
the tension from the day andyou're like, and then you
breathe and then it's just gone.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, it's such a good release.
It really is.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
So little things and there's just going to be
different things for everybody.
But so that is.
I think we've given some reallyeasy ways to get into a
mindfulness practice.
But again like you know.
You know, as a coach, I do thisfor people.
I help people learn how to dothese things.
(51:09):
This is the benefit of having acoach.
I think, through some of thisstuff, like the things we talked
about, things Aaron and I aretalking about like this is
literally the benefit of havinga coach that that preaches this
kind of stuff.
So definitely something if youfeel like you're just a little
too stuck and can't get into iton your own.
But you know, feel free toreach out.
(51:29):
But I really can't stressenough that not to be stressed
about all the stress.
But I can't stress enough aboutthe benefits of mind-body work.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
Yeah, all right, so maybe we'll get into some more
details about some other topicsin our next podcast.
But, yeah, if you have anythingelse, any other thing else
critical you wanted to add forthis that we made?
Speaker 2 (51:52):
I just thought of something really quick.
Yeah, a lot of parents can doand I recommended this to
somebody a while ago and theylove it.
If you have kids, especiallylittle kids, play with your kids
.
Oh my God Play therapy.
Set a timer for 20 minutes andif your kids like, play dollies
with me and you're like, well, Ihave to get dinner on the stop
(52:15):
and play with your kids because,that not only benefits your
kids which nowadays kids areignored because of a cell phone
but two you get into your child,your inner child, when you're
playing Barbies or when you're.
I wrestle with my nephew and heloves playing, wrestling and
(52:35):
doing jumping around and doingit, and I'll tell you, jumping
on the couch, that's fun.
You know like I think that isso key to do too.
Actually, sit down with yourkids and play with them or read
a book with them or do somethingwithout a phone or a computer
or something distracting you,because the amount of stress
(52:57):
relief that is is you'll know.
When you're done You're like,oh, that was actually really fun
, I want to do that again, youknow, because so many people
just don't do it.
They're like, oh, my kids canplay with each other, it's fine,
but they actually do want youto play with them and you get a
lot out of it.
So that could also be a form ofmindfulness too.
(53:18):
You know you're not juststopping and thinking and not
thinking about being present inthe moment, but being present in
the moment being with thepeople that you love the most,
Like that is so important to.
Speaker 1 (53:29):
And if you don't have kids, play with your pets, yes.
And if you don't have pets,play with yourself.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
That's a whole other.
Speaker 1 (53:41):
I took it there.
I mean it's a thing, it is athing the whole thing.
Go for that.
Go for that.
Nature walk instead, yeah,there you go.
If you don't have pets, playwith somebody else's place.
Don't play with somebody else'skids, because then that could
get weird.
Speaker 2 (53:53):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
That's a whole other podcast.
All right, that was great.
I think that was really great.
Erin, thank you so much forco-hosting with me.
Again, we're going to come backon with some more topics.
Yeah, if you guys have topics,if you know you want to shoot
them over to me or Erin, or youknow.
You know, just get them out tous and all of the information's
(54:16):
in the podcast notes.
But, yeah, we'd love to hearyour ideas for some other topics
.
Yeah, but don't get weird, useyour head, it'll all be okay.
Bye, bye, bye.
Hello Erin.
Hello, so welcome to coaching.
We know what we didn'tintroduce podcasts last time.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
We introduced ourselves.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
This is coaching in cocktails.
The podcast God, I suck atpodcasting, I don't know.
This is why I'm never going tohave Brené Brown listen.
Listenership, because I'm sounprofessional.
This is Tita.
This is my special co-host,erin.
Hello, and we are going tocontinue our conversation from
Erin's interview that we did acouple of podcasts ago and if
(00:37):
you listen to our most recentpodcast, we just talked about
kind of going from how do you gofrom like zero to intuitive
eating, right, like how do youget to that space, and hopefully
we gave some actionable stepsin there, but we're, you know,
we talked a little bit aboutthis big word mindfulness which
(01:02):
I think is such a catch phraseanymore, like I almost wonder if
anybody's even paying attention, like I feel like it's gotten.
So I don't want to say overused,because I actually I do, I use
that a lot.
We want it to be used, butreally, you know, I want to kind
of demystify it a little bitand talk a little bit about what
, what it means, and like howyou can start using it, because
I I think it's a reallyimportant thing to do.
(01:23):
Like how you can start using itbecause I, I think people hear
mind, body, mindfulness,meditation and they think things
like that and they're like, oh,that hippie fruit, fruit, shit
is not for me Right Like that'shippie, fruit fruit, tree hugger
shit and I don't have time andI don't like to and I don't want
to and that's just not for me,right.
Yeah, but if you listen to ourlast podcast, at the end I said
(01:47):
you know I was going to go outon a limb and say I truly
believe that this is like thekey to longevity is is
mindfulness, and it's that's avery broad stroke, right, like
that's sort of the wave top ofit.
But I think there's like allthese little tentacles of
mindfulness, right that thatbecome this holistic part of
(02:07):
like how, how we do live alonger life, how we have more
joint our life, how we feelbetter, how we look better,
right, it's just kind of likethe thing that helps us get
there, cause this is bigoverarching thing.
And, in very simple terms, mydefinition of mindfulness and
when you look it up, it's prettymuch the same it's the space
(02:29):
between stimulus and reaction,right?
So if I were to make this realsimple, it is the stimulus.
Is somebody just cut me off intraffic?
Right, I could immediately, I'msorry.
It's a space between stimulusand response, with reaction in
(02:50):
the middle, right.
So that sorry, I had that wrong, so it was a response.
So if somebody cut me off intraffic, that's the stimulus.
If I'm not being mindful, myimmediate reaction is I'm going
to tailgate them, I'm going toget up in front of them.
I'm going to zoom in front ofthem and have road rage Right,
I'm going to flip them off.
I'm going to get up.
I'm just.
My heart rate is going to goingto go up, my blood pressure is
(03:11):
going to go up and do all thesethings.
I'm pissed.
Right, that's reaction.
I'm going to get up in front ofthem.
I'm going to get up in front ofthem.
If I'm using mindfulness, Igive myself some space, whether
that's taking a couple ofbreaths or whatever.
We'll kind of get into somepractices, but I can take a
moment, take a beat, take athought and go how do I really
(03:33):
want?
to respond to this, right, is itactually going to help me in
any way, shape or form to runinto the back of this guy or
zoom in my blood pressure up, orwill I more or less get to the
where I'm going At the same timeI would have had he not cut me
off?
Yeah, does it matter in thegrand scheme of life?
Right?
(03:53):
So I just made this, you knowit, this sound like really a
little hippie-froo-froo, butthat's what it is.
And then in that moment Idecide, no, it's not worth it,
right.
And so now I am relaxed again.
Right, I spiked my cortisol.
I was about to like I had toslam all my breaks and now I'm
like I'm right back to where Ineeded to be.
If I didn't use mindfulness Ijust spiked my cortisol I could
(04:16):
have gotten in an accident.
My heart rate goes up, I'mshaking, I'm upset.
Now my stomach's upset, and nowI can't think straight and I
get into work, and that's how Istart my day.
Yeah, right, would you agree?
Is that like, kind of like,totally agree?
A really sort of like real lifeexample of like how my?
That's what mindfulness is.
Yes, yeah 100%.
(04:37):
Yeah, and so really, it's justthat it's that space, it's that
taking that time to think, right, instead of just mindlessly
reacting to something, right?
So in our last podcast, wetalked about this in terms of of
eating, right?
So you talked about usingmindfulness as a space between
(04:59):
oh, there's a spaget chips infront of me.
Is this really what I want,right?
So if I was being mindless, Iwould just I'm tired, I'm hungry
and whatever.
I just came home from work andI'm just going to grab the bag
of chips and just start eating,or do I take a moment?
Am I really hungry?
Am I thirsty?
Is this going to help me feelbetter tomorrow?
Is this really, you know, likeasking yourself those questions
(05:24):
Again?
Stimulus is I just got homefrom work, I'm starving and
there's a bag of chips in thepantry, right?
What's my response going to be?
Right?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Well, this is so funny.
I just thought about this asyou were giving that example.
So I took my nephew who's ninehe'll be 10 next month to
Christmas Lays last weekend andI got we packed really healthy
snacks and apples and carrotsticks and all the things and
popcorn and things.
And he was just going to townon that kind of stuff and we had
(06:00):
I met my sister at like a fastfood place just to meet up and
he said mommy, can we get BurgerKing?
And I said, well, wait a second, we have extra sandwiches in
the car, we have some appleslices still.
And then he goes oh, nevermind.
And I was like whoa.
(06:21):
So it was weird because I thinkabout that with people like
adults too.
You know, like when you comehome from work and you're really
, really hungry and you're like,well, I'm hungry, so I'm just
going to eat all these chips,okay, well, if you're really
that hungry, why don't you eat acouple of apples or like some
carrots?
And then if you're still hungry, then you can have the chips.
So when you do that, pausing alittle bit, that can lead you on
(06:44):
a better path than maybe whatyou would have went down if you
didn't take that time to say,wait, okay, I'm really really
hungry, let me eat some reallyhealthy things now and then.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
If I really want the chips after I eat the healthy
stuff, great, eat them Like youknow, right, because if you're
really, really hungry, if you'retruly hungry, then the healthy
stuff will be just as appealing,exactly, and in that moment,
yeah my nephew was not reallyhungry.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
He just saw Burger King and was like I want the
fries.
And when I said, oh, we shouldeat the, then he was like oh,
nevermind.
So it was really funny, youknow, yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
So let's talk about.
So that's great, right To beable to use those things, but it
really is a skill, right?
So it's a skill that we have todevelop.
So, like you know, getting intoneuroscience which is my other
leaky favorite thing, right,because I was telling you before
we started, like I came up withthis whole sort of concept of
something that you know I mightdo as a program at some point in
(07:46):
the future called Think Fit,right, because the premise is
like, from a neuroscienceperspective, you know, our
brains are hardwired to be acertain way they're developed.
We have the wiring in ourbrains is the way.
It is because of habits andthings and learned behaviors
that we've had over the years,how we developed as children,
the experiences we had aschildren and to adulthood, so on
(08:07):
and so forth.
So we have these loops, right?
So just imagine I'm alwaysdoing things like people can see
.
So if you can see my hand goingaround in a loop, we have these
loops, these feedback loops inour brain, and those are the
things that are comfortable forus, right?
So if my comfort is, come home,I'm exhausted, eat a bag of
(08:29):
chips, cut people off in traffic, have really negative reactions
to everything because I'malways, you know, shooting off
the hip or whatever.
That's what I'm always going todo.
That's natural for me.
That is what is programmedcurrently in my brain, the only
way to.
I am here to tell everybodythat neuroplasticity is the
(08:50):
coolest thing on the planet.
So if you think you're just theway you are because that's how
you're always going to be, it'sabsolute bullshit.
Neuroscience, like actualscience, says you can change
your brain chemistry.
Right, you can changeeverything.
It's simple, but it's not easy,right?
(09:12):
So, in very simple terms, youcan rewire your thoughts, you
can rewire your behaviors, allof those things.
So if you practice it enough,right is.
So if you have a particularbehavior, so if it's go to the
pantry every day when I comehome from work, right, because
that's my nap go have a drink.
(09:33):
Let's have a drink every daywhen I go home from work.
So maybe that's not the bestone, because I don't want to.
I mean, I don't want to getinto, like actual addiction,
chemical addiction.
So go to the pantry every dayon the way home from work or
when I go home from work, so I'mhungry.
The only way to stop that is tochange the behavior, right.
So the first time you do it,it's not gonna be easy.
You're gonna be like, oh, Ireally want the chips, right,
(09:55):
but instead you go for a walk,or instead you have carrot
sticks, whatever, and then yougot to do it again.
It might be hard for a week,right, but every single time you
do it, whatever this new, youreplace an old behavior with a
new behavior or an old thoughtwith a new thought.
You're starting to create a newneurofeedback loop, right, so
(10:16):
you're kind of changing.
So if you think of, like how ariver starts to cut through a
mountain, right, like water cutsthrough a mountain and create
these crevices and likemountains, right.
So now we have riverbeds, butyou can redirect that, right, so
you could, like, put a dam upand then force the river to go
somewhere else and then it'llcut a whole through, cut a
riverbed through some other partof the rock.
(10:37):
So it's the same thing with ourbrain science.
So I have to practice it enoughfor it to take hold, because
our brains want to keep uscomfortable.
The only thing our brain is.
The number one thing is ourbrain is survival, right, it's
got to keep us alive, it's gotto keep us, and comfort is the
way to do that, even ifcomfortable is detrimental,
(11:00):
right, because there's a lot ofcomfortable things we do in our
lives that are detrimental toour health and well-being.
So the key is to recognize thatyou have this behavior and to
consciously change the behavioror the thought or whatever the
thing is that you want to changeand do it over and over and
over again.
(11:20):
So I say, like your brain isyour biggest muscle, if you're
somebody who likes to go to thegym and built big, giant biceps
like Aaron's, right, like she'dget big giant, weird bicep peaks
by not going to the gym anddoing repetition after
repetition after repetition,right, you don't change your
(11:41):
behavior, your thoughts, youdon't change your brain without
also doing the same type ofrepetition.
So you can change neurosciencesays so right, you just have to
be able to, and it is actuallyfairly simple as far as, like,
how that the wiring in yourbrain works, but it does take a
lot of work.
So it's simple, but it's noteasy because you have to be able
(12:03):
, you have to actually bewilling to do it.
Now, to that point, how do Ieven know I'm having these
thoughts, right?
Cause these thoughts are juston loop.
I don't ever think about mythoughts, they're just happening
.
I don't think about mybehaviors, they're just
happening.
So how do I get there, aaron,like how do I get to a place
where I even know that I'mhaving these thoughts and I'm
doing these things?
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Well, I think this is where other people can kind of
help too.
If you are living with somebodyor people at work or what have
you, they can kind of like helpyou recognize things in yourself
that you don't know arehappening.
So people that I'm closer to,they know what sets me off,
(12:48):
quote unquote.
I'm very regimented and ifsomething goes off of that time
thing or if something doesn'thappen the way I thought it was
gonna happen, I react a certainway, and that's something that
I'm working on right now, soother people can kind of give
you feedback on that.
Also, the idea of changing yourbrain yeah, it can happen, for
(13:14):
sure, definitely.
And no, it's not a simple thingor it's not an easy thing to do
.
But I think what you need toknow is patience with yourself
too, because, especially withthe new year coming up, everyone
wants to change and be betterand that's wonderful, but it
never, it always kind of fallsby the wayside by February, you
(13:37):
know.
And why does that happen?
And it's because people don'thave patience with themselves
and they don't.
If they mess up or if theydon't do something or take a
step back and have thatmindfulness, then they're like
oh, it's not for me, I'm notgonna do it anymore.
You have to keep working at it.
(13:59):
Don't give up on yourself.
You are your biggestcheerleader.
You're the one that lovesyourself the most out of anybody
.
You cannot give up on yourself.
So when you're like, oh, thisisn't working, I've only been
doing it for a week or two, butI don't feel any different.
You can't give up.
I spent so long of not feelingdifferent and then when I
(14:23):
finally started getting thelittle wins over time and I was
like, oh my gosh, I am, I amdoing better.
Like this is working and Icannot wait for me to be better
than I am now.
Like you have to keep workingat it.
But you have to have patiencewith yourself and with time.
Everyone now is the instantgratification.
(14:46):
If it doesn't work in a day,then it's not.
For me, that has gotta stop,and I think social media and the
phone and all the technologyhas a lot to do with that.
But you have to give yourselfthat time and that patience and
consistency to allow it tohappen.
And it's going to happen, trustme.
(15:07):
It will happen.
It might not be in a month or aweek or whatever.
It might not even be in a year,but when it does, you're going
to know it and it's going to begreat Like you just have to keep
working at it.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
And I would say yes, 100%, to all of those things,
because changing your thoughts,changing your behaviors, these
are the keys to being able togrow, and whatever your goal is
(15:41):
right.
So if you wanna start going tothe gym, you wanna get bigger
biceps, you wanna lose body fat,you wanna run a marathon, you
wanna you know all of thesethings, if you want to achieve
those things, you're going tohave to change your mindset
about something right, likewhatever it is you're currently
doing is probably not going towork to get you there, so you're
(16:02):
going to have to do thesethings.
So, really, the thing we wannatalk about today is like, how do
we get to the space ofmindfulness?
Because it is.
We are not a mindful society,right?
So the instant gratification,the constant simulation, the go,
go, go, like we are just this,like fast paced driven.
(16:23):
There is no like sort of.
There's just no mindfulness,right.
So how do we get to?
I want our listeners to be ableto understand how to start to
get to this mindfulness place,which will allow them to be able
to stop and go.
What is my reaction to this?
(16:44):
Why am I reaching for the chips?
Why am I, you know, why is thistriggering something in me,
right?
Because these things that aregoing on in our brains are
hardwired and they're just goinggoing, going, going, going,
like I think a lot of us have somany like the negative thoughts
that we have I'm too fat, I'mtoo skinny, I'm ugly, I'm lazy,
(17:08):
I'm this, I should do that, Ishould do that.
They're just on loop and wedon't even know we're having
them because they're just onloop, right?
This is just the narrativegoing on in our brain.
So we have to get to a placewhere we can do that.
So I highly recommend to peoplelike I think one of the absolute
best places to start is withmeditation, and I get a lot of
(17:33):
pushback on meditation because Ithink people have these
misconceptions that when you'remeditating, you're supposed to
have no thoughts, you'resupposed to have to clear your
mind and everything's going tobe like I'm just going to be a
blank canvas and I'm just goingto sit there for five minutes,
10 minutes, however long, andI'm just going to.
I'm going to have no thoughts.
(17:54):
And every time I introducesomebody to a mindfulness or
meditation practice or like Ican't do it, it's too hard, my
thoughts won't stop racing.
I'm like that's the point.
That's the point.
That is the point.
So I want everybody tounderstand that when you first
start a meditation practice,meditation is not about stopping
your thoughts.
Meditation is about allowingthe thoughts, allowing the
(18:17):
thoughts to pass through likelittle clouds and like just let
them, without judgment.
Right, but the key is withoutjudgment, it's okay to have
thoughts.
I have ever had a and I've beenmeditating for years.
I haven't ever had a singlemeditation where my mind didn't
drift off to something else.
And I personally love guidedmeditation.
(18:37):
I do.
I will meditate for shortperiods of time without it, but
I love guided meditations forthat reason.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
So I think yeah, that's how I started.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
It's really important when you're getting started to
not try to just sit quietly in aroom, indian style, for 20
minutes with.
Guided meditation is great.
There's apps out there.
Headspace is great.
Healthy minds is a really coolone one of my clients introduced
me to because it literally itlike teaches you about all the
mindfulness stuff.
(19:06):
That one's really cool.
I use my Peloton app, for Ilove doing guided meditations
from Ross Rayburn.
I just love that man.
He's great.
I do his yoga too, so there'sno reason to not do a.
There's so much free shit outthere for guided meditation.
But that's how I recommendpeople start, because it helps
(19:27):
to you know, to kind of guideyou, to like where am I supposed
to be Right?
Like trying to go back to yourbreath or trying to go back to
whatever the thing you know,listening to the voice of the
person.
I think tends to help, or likeusing that guidance helps
because it's again like I can'ttell you, like I'm always like,
well, I'm thinking about what Igot to do the rest of the day,
(19:48):
or maybe I'm not really intolike whatever a visualization
Ross has given me that day, butI'm like, nope, bring it back
right.
Like I'm just bringing it back.
That's what meditation does andit is not, like I said, it's
not meant to silence your brain.
It's meant to teach you how tobring yourself back to your
(20:12):
breath or to something else.
Right, to pay attention to yourthoughts, without latching onto
that thought and hanging ontoit for dear life and then
running away with it, right.
So it's a practice that, again,in neuroscience terms and there
are lots of studies out thereabout this now, how meditation
(20:35):
and learn, you know, kind ofrewiring your brain through
meditation.
I mean, people live.
I'm not gonna go super crazy,but like diseases have been
healed.
People with chronic pain do notfeel they're pain anymore.
They can manage pain from it.
So, but to kind of bring it towhat we're talking about,
learning using meditation tolearn how to have a thought, let
(21:00):
it go and refocus your mind.
It's about refocusing your mindis how you get to this place of
I'm reaching in the pantry forthe food.
How do I stop myself frommindlessly eating, right, would
you agree?
Like that's kind of like, butyou can't get there without
practicing it.
Yeah, and meditation is hard.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
That's the key word here practice, like yoga is a
practice.
Meditation is a practice.
Everything you can't just begood at yoga or there's nobody
like everybody does thingsdifferently.
Like the way I practice yoga isdifferent from you know
somebody that I work with.
Or the way I do mindfulness iscompletely different from how
(21:42):
Tina does it or how somebodyelse does it.
It's the way that works for you.
Okay, it's ever evolving, soit's gonna get better.
You're gonna get better.
It's not just you reach aplateau and you're like, okay,
I'm the best meditator ever, I'mgonna just stop here.
Like, again, it's that wordpractice.
You just keep going and gettingbetter and better and better
(22:03):
and better.
You know.
Speaker 1 (22:05):
But I think that's key though, Erin.
It is a meditative practice, itis a yoga practice and it is
something you always are doingright, but that is the training,
that's your brain training.
Meditation is brain training tohelp you with all these other
things.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Right and I always go back to like when I think about
yoga.
Most people, when they hear theword yoga, they think of a very
thin woman in tight bra, tightspandex, you know stick thin,
doing all these poses, whenthat's really not what yoga is.
No, it's different foreverybody and there's no right
(22:45):
or wrong way to meditate.
There's no right or wrong wayin a meditative yoga.
So, like, when I'm giving my,when I give my kind of how I
started the meditation, like I'mnot telling you that that's how
you're supposed to do it.
There's no right way to do itLike and again, thinking about
like.
When people think of the wordmeditation, they think of a
(23:06):
Buddhist monk in a cave.
You know out.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
That doesn't speak for a week.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Yeah, who's in the like not eating for a week,
that's, you know, not thinkingabout anything.
And yeah, that's part ofmeditation, but that's not.
We can't do that.
That's not an everyday kind ofthing.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
So it's not practical for those of us who are monks
living in Tibet.
Speaker 2 (23:25):
No.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
So, yes, but you're right.
So it's not.
There's no right or wrong wayto do it.
And before I even started doinglike guided meditations cause I
really had to force myself todo it I was a.
I'm looking at it as hard.
I can't stop my brain until Istarted doing it and I was like
oh duh, you dummy, like that'sthat's but I, you know, I would
(23:48):
spend, excuse me, there aregutter cleaners apparently
coming up on my roof in front ofme, so let me put that down.
The dogs are going nuts.
That's why I have my my earbudsin, so hopefully nobody can
hear the dogs and the guttercleaners coming up on my roof.
Anyway, back to being mindful.
I spend, I kid you not aminimum of three to five minutes
(24:12):
at the end of my shower everymorning and scolding hot water,
with my head lowered and my eyesclosed, and that is how I end
every shower and I start every.
Well, my day started startsbefore my shower, cause I work
out and stuff in the morning,but that is how I center myself
for the day.
Right, I do deep breathing.
I'm in there just lettingthoughts pass.
(24:32):
So that is my non-guidedmeditation and that's how I
really started meditating.
It was this like three to fiveminutes in a scolding hot shower
every morning.
And then I started doing actualguided meditations and found you
know, found so much benefitfrom those.
And you know, some weeks I doone or two, some weeks I do
three or five.
But it's that practice of it,right?
(24:54):
So you know once, you and I andI can tell when I have fallen
out of practice, because I dostart to feel a little bit more
anxious.
I start to have a little bitmore like racing thoughts that I
can't quite get control of andI'm like, and we'd better get
back to our practice becausewe've been a little bit lax on
it, right so, but it really doestake practice.
But I think the number onething that I get pushed back on,
(25:15):
I want everybody to understandis yes, there's no right or
wrong way to do it.
You do not need to lightincense and sit on a pillow and
have a special little place.
You can do it in your car, youcan sit in your chair, you can
lay on the floor.
The key is to do it, practiceit it, keep working on getting
(25:36):
better at it, because there isno end to it.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
No, there's not.
You can only get better.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
And the same thing with yoga.
Yoga is another mind-bodypractice, right, and the goal of
yoga is to allow you to connectwith your breath, right during
movement, right, so it's bodyawareness, and yoga is not
hippie-frufru.
Bodybuilders and people wantingto build bigger biceps, like
Erin's, should be doing yoga too, not to keep beating you up
(26:05):
about your creepy biceps.
I might be a little jealous,but that is the point of it,
right?
Like you're going to be abetter bodybuilder.
You're going to be, I mean,bring the physical benefits,
right, you're going to be moreflexible, but you're going to
have better body awareness andconnection with your breath, and
that's only going to help youphysically, let alone
(26:28):
emotionally, right?
So that's why we call all ofthese things mind-body practices
.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Right, and it's another thing you know I do the
habit stacking, you know.
So, Tina, that's a perfectexample of you know, after your
shower you're sitting for justthree minutes and you're just
standing in the shower.
There's nothing that's.
You know, you don't have yourphone near you.
You don't have anybody elsethere, Like it's just you.
(26:51):
You hope, yeah, hopefully,Maybe a dog or cat or something,
Maybe you're hungry.
I don't even let them in thebathroom, like that is literally
my time.
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Nobody's allowed in there during my shower
meditation time.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
But, like you know, you take just that and that in
itself is great.
And then once you figure outlike, okay, yeah, I could
probably do a little bit morethan you, maybe add on a little
bit more time, or get out of theshower and like when you're
putting your moisturizer on,really like think about what
you're doing, you know self-careand you're you know, after your
(27:24):
shower, so that could bemeditation.
When I started I I drink lemonwater in the morning before I do
anything.
So I come, you know, after I'mkind of doing my thing in the
bathroom, I come downstairs andI didn't even know it was quote
unquote meditation.
I poured myself my water in thelemon and I was like doing
(27:46):
things as I was drinking it andI realized that I wasn't
drinking it like because I'm ona time you know, construction
for, for work.
So I'm like doing all thesethings and I'm drinking my water
and I'm like, well, I have toeat my breakfast, but I like to
have my water in for a littlebit first before I eat.
And then I was like, sit on thecouch and drink your water.
(28:06):
So I started doing that and ohmy gosh, the piece I got just
from that and I'm like thatother stuff can wait, it's still
going to be there, like it'llget done.
But I take up just a fewminutes and I drink my water and
I feel the water going down andI think about, you know, like
it's just so crazy how.
(28:28):
That's how I started and now Ihave a meditation corner.
I have one in my office, likeso you just just build upon
those kind of things.
Speaker 1 (28:36):
Because it's addictive in a good way, Right
Like it's.
It's one of those things whereyou're like, like.
I realized I had this habit oflike always having something on
in the background.
Right Like prior to COVID itwas the news, and now the news
is like literally never on in myhouse.
Prior to COVID in politics, Iwas like it was like just the 24
hour news cycle.
(28:56):
I always got the news on allday long.
I worked from home and it wason downstairs and I'd see it
when I go, and that went awayvery quickly.
But I realized, like, like,when I'm, even when I'm in the
kitchen doing dishes, cleaning,making dinner, cooking my
breakfast I've got a podcast andaudio book.
I've got something going on inthe background music, whatever
and I've actually started and Istill enjoy that.
(29:17):
That's how I get my readingdone, because I really don't sit
down to read.
I listen to books on audio book.
But I started I realized that Ihad stimulation all the time,
right.
So besides my actual meditationtime I make in my little shower
, meditation time, I make myselfbe in my kitchen, sometimes
(29:38):
eating or whatever, with nothingon, no phone beside me, no
music on.
I'm just sitting there with myfood taking a breath in between
each bite, right, it might onlybe five minutes and listen.
I am going everybody that'slistening to this like I don't
have time.
Fuck off.
Speaker 2 (29:55):
That's what I was just about to talk about.
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Yeah, no, no, no, no off because, right, like nobody
has time, I have the same 24hours, aaron has the same 24
hours.
Everybody has the same 24 hoursRight, you can make five.
There is five minutes in yourday.
You're scrolling on your phone,you're sitting too long on the
shitter or whatever it is thatyou're doing goofing off.
(30:17):
Right, like you have fiveminutes.
Three minutes.
Yeah, I don't care, don't takefive minutes, do three minutes,
I don't care.
Right, you have it.
You just need to make it apriority.
You're reading, right, heart,yep, heart.
Meditation is hard.
I'm not even going to pretendlike it's not, but so is
everything you do for the firsttime, right, I can't do it
(30:39):
because I have racing thoughts.
That's exactly why you need todo meditation, right?
The only way you're ever goingto get control of your stress,
your racing thoughts.
You're all the you know.
Your negative thoughts, you'reall the things You're not going
to.
So so, yes, and again,meditation is not the Buddhist
monk sitting in Tibet, for youknow, not speaking for months on
end.
Right, it is.
It could be two minutes in yourshower, it could be.
(31:01):
I'm sitting in my chair rightnow and I could just close my
eyes if I wasn't sitting heretalking to Aaron and just do
some deep breathing for twominutes.
Mm, hmm, say it, yeah, you justneed to do it, and consistently
, and put it into practice, andthen you can start to.
What happens, if you haven'tbeen a meditator and actually
(31:23):
done this, is that you do startto be able to pay attention to
your thoughts, right?
So, again, you're like I'mhaving these thoughts and there
goes that thought and there goesanother thought.
So now you're teaching yourmind, your brain, how to
recognize when these thoughtsare happening.
So now, as I put this intopractice, I have now training my
(31:44):
brain to see what my thoughtsare Right.
And so I started going oh, Ididn't know I was having that
thought and I didn't know I wasfeeling that way.
And that's how then you canstart to put these other things
we've talked about from anutrition perspective right
being a little bit more mindfulabout your nutrition or your
training day, or I mean God, Imean the way that being mindful
(32:08):
helps with Training strength isincredible, like the amount of
people I see scrolling away ontheir phone while they're
warming up on the treadmill.
Right, like I don't ever dothat, like my five minute warm
up on my treadmill will have awinner.
As I'm doing, I'm warming up, Iam like visualizing my workout,
(32:29):
I am like getting into, likethis is what I'm going to do,
right.
So that's another form ofmindfulness.
It's another form, almost, ofmeditation.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
It's like kind of my my training, my brain to get
ready, prepare for my workout,kind of thing and picturing
yourself working out and whatit's going to look like and how
you're going to feel and theweight you're going to do and
all the things.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
Visualization is another form of mindfulness.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and there's so many things I can
talk about with this.
I think the most, most of thethings that we're going to be
talking about in this one, inthis podcast and other ones, I
think, if you remove your phoneaway from you for a little bit,
(33:15):
that's another thing that I wantto.
I guess we could tie that intomindfulness too.
Yes, everybody is so addictedto technology now it's scary,
like it's very scary, and wheretechnology is great, love it.
Obviously, use it all the timewe're using it right now.
Speaker 1 (33:35):
We're using it right now.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
But there are times and places for it and I think
when I would put my phone acrossthe room or in a different room
and focus on something thathelped me tremendously, and I
have ADHD, so having all thesethings in front of me that would
distract me definitely was notgood, and I couldn't.
(34:00):
I would never concentrate onone thing.
I was always the let me startthis, oh wait, let me get.
Oh I have to do this and gofrom one thing to the next.
And when I put my phone awayand I put it in a drawer or
whatever and I leave itsomewhere where I can't see it,
that helps a lot and that couldbe your first step to meditation
(34:22):
.
Just getting rid of that phonefor a few minutes and, my God,
the piece that you get from notscrolling.
It's absolutely amazing, likeyou forget what it was like not
having a phone.
But then, when you actually putit away and like don't think
about it, it just feels so muchbetter.
You feel so much better.
(34:43):
So maybe start with that andget rid of that cell phone.
And if you have kids, they'llsee that too, because the kids
now that's what it is.
It's glued to their hand andthey're like this.
And when their parents are onit they're like, okay, well, I'm
gonna be on it too, and they'relearning those bad habits from
(35:05):
the parents.
So put your phone away for alittle bit, get some peace and
do something.
Even if you have to dosomething like, oh, I have to
cook dinner.
Yeah, cook dinner but do itmindfully, like, don't have your
phone near you and scrolling onInstagram while you're putting
your ingredients in and stuff.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
I can't tell you how many things I've burned on my
stove doing that.
By the way, I set the pan onthe stove to heat it up and I'm
like, why don't I go scroll myphone real quick?
Next thing I know, I'm like, ohGod, whatever my pan is.
But I wanna add to that.
I've had several.
I did a podcast a brand new.
I did one on kind of like doingthese factory resets of our
(35:46):
bodies.
Right, like, kind of like.
When I have these we term themhigh vibration clients who are
just like I can't get them totake rest days and it's like
when nutrition and trainingisn't working anymore and
weights going up, and itshouldn't be so it's just like
the body is in chaos.
Right, the body is in chaos,the mind is in chaos.
So we do this factory reset,and part of it is 30 minutes a
(36:10):
day, part of what I have askedthese clients that have had to
do this full blown factory reset30 minutes a day of no stimulus
.
You literally have to sit andstare at a wall, right, like.
You can get out your journaland write, but there's no phone,
tv, music, husband, wife,nothing Like I want you to sit
(36:32):
for 30 minutes and boy did I getsome feedback on that, right,
like it was miserable, it's hard, like whatever.
Now, once they got into thepractice of it like I have some
that have continued with it,right, they're just like wow,
like wow.
Some said, you know, I had allthese thoughts and then there
(36:54):
were tears, and then there waslike all of these things,
because we have a tendency tonever give ourselves time to sit
and think, for some, like it'sa trauma response, right, being
busy all the time is a traumaresponse, right, because then
you don't have to sit and thinkabout anything.
So, yeah, that shit's hard,feeling shit is hard, but not
(37:17):
allowing ourselves, you know andthis can get into a whole topic
of like, really why people tendto like emotionally overeat,
and there's all the numbingthings, right.
So, whether it's alcoholism oraddicted to training or whatever
addictions there are, right.
Or being just being busy allthe time, right, this martyrdom
I think we talked about, youknow, and just because I'm so
(37:38):
busy, and then just taking onmore and more and more this
human giver syndrome that wehave as women, right?
So all of the things that weput ourselves through, feelings
are hard, but not feelingfeelings is even harder because
it's going to kill you, right,like it's probably the biggest
stressor you can put on yourbody to like not let feelings
(37:59):
out and like, try to hide themand all these things.
So we hide them withmindfulness is how we get
through that, right, andallowing ourselves to feel the
feels and to let things gowithout judgment and all of
those things.
But it's never going to work tojust keep trying to avoid.
So you're and I can see thesepatterns in these high vibration
(38:20):
clients all the time right,it's this avoidance.
Have to have to have a goal,have to be busy, blah, blah,
blah.
And I was that person.
And the reason why I can see it?
Because I was there.
I was that person, right, I wasthe hashtag team.
No sleep, I'll sleep when I'mdead.
Grind, grind, grind, grind,grind, grind.
I only need four hours of sleep.
I'm up at 2.30 in the morningto do, you know, like, yes, I've
(38:41):
been there, I've done that.
We all have to go through it atsome point.
But it is incredible when youcan sit with yourself in a very
quiet setting and just be right,and the incredible benefits
that I know, I know you have had, I have had I'm speaking from
(39:02):
experience my clients who havemeditation practices and
journaling practices and, youknow, mindfulness practices and
yoga practices and all of thesethings that we practice.
They're just healthier in everyway, right, not just physically
, mentally, emotionally.
They have better relationships,right.
Like this, mindfulness carriesover into everything.
(39:24):
So, whether it's five maybe youdon't do 30 minutes but, like
you said, five minutes, we didit at our retreat last year.
Right, we surprised the shitout of it.
It was something we decided todo last minute.
We made everybody put theirphones in a basket and sent them
off.
At 30 minutes you can't talk toeach other, you can't.
You can take a journal, but yougo somewhere, you buy yourself
(39:46):
anywhere, and some of them wentfor walks.
That's another thingmindfulness, walking right.
Walks in nature, mindfulnesswalking, not with earbuds in
right, not listening to apodcast, not even talking to a
friend.
Go out, take a walk, listen tothe leaves, listen to the trees,
listen to look.
(40:07):
My mind starts racing.
I do mindfulness walking like Itry to go out in the middle of
the day when it's nice outside.
And I realized, like I'mthinking ahead to like what am I
gonna do when I'm home?
What are I gonna do when I'mhome, when I'm done with this 20
minute walk?
What am I gonna do?
And I'm like nope, listen tothe leaves crunch under my feet
in the fall, listen to the windblow, listen to that duck quack
over at the duck pond, right,like it's just that.
(40:28):
And again, five minutes, fiveminutes if you don't have 10, if
you don't have 20, right.
Like these are the just nostimulus and you practice it.
You make it as much a part ofyour daily routine as brushing
your teeth and taking a shower.
Cause, if you have time to dothose things, you have time to
do that, yeah Right.
Are there other like littlethings you think people could do
(40:53):
to kind of like start amindfulness practice that aren't
like hippie-froo-froomeditation?
Speaker 2 (40:59):
Well, like I said, have it like building on is so
key and that's what's workingfor me, because I'm you know,
I'm like, oh, I want more,because this is so great, I want
to do something else.
So, you know, I don't knowmorning routines I think that
should be a podcast in itself.
And evening routines I think wecan, we can build on that.
But you know, in the morning Idon't know, most people reach
(41:23):
for their coffee or tea orsomething in the morning.
You know, start like with thattoo, like, take three minutes
and just sip on your coffeesitting at your kitchen table if
you have a second before youstart getting all your stuff
ready for work, and what reallyworked for me.
And people are going to be like,oh my gosh, I wake up early,
(41:44):
like I'm always been in amorning person anyway, so that
really doesn't bother me.
But when I told people that Iwake up a little bit like before
five o'clock in the morningbecause I want to, not because I
have to.
I don't have to wake up at foursomething in the morning to get
to work by seven or six thirty,like, I do it because I want to
.
You know, set your alarm justfive minutes early and get up
(42:07):
and just sit in your bed for acouple of minutes.
Do you like some lightstretching or something and feel
your body getting like readyfor the day?
You know, but starting small isso important.
You know, we're not asking youto do, you know, 30 minutes of
sitting on a pillow with youknow, your meditation area and
(42:29):
all that kind of stuff.
That would be awesome if youcould do that, because it does.
It's so nice.
But, but yeah, just starting sosmall, like think about your day
, think about all the thingsthat you have to do, and maybe a
little bit of time like be likeoh well, after lunch I don't
have a meeting until this timeMaybe I can take a quick walk
(42:50):
outside, even if it's around mywork building or you know up and
down the steps at work or youknow things like that.
So that was me and I.
I carved some time out afterlunch to go outside for myself,
because I'm very stimulated atwork.
I have a lot of things that Ihave to do, a lot of people that
I have to see, but I made thatthat 10 minutes.
(43:13):
I'm like, nope, that's an, I'mputting my boundaries there.
I'm going to go outside or I'mgoing to take a couple of laps
around the school without beingbothered to get away from my
computer and center myself backto being better.
Because when you do these things, you are a better person, for
not only yourself but for otherpeople you provide better your,
(43:37):
your listening's, better your,your, your empathy, I think,
grows, your gratitude grows somuch.
And it's really, it trulyreally is amazing.
Once you, you know, kind of geton that, that mindfulness train
.
You're like man, this is great,I don't want to stop.
I don't want to stop, you wantto keep getting more and more
(43:58):
and more.
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
It really.
It is like I mean, the benefitsare endless, like I can say.
For me personally, like I wasalways, I was that high
vibration, high strung, like Iwill like throw, punch you at
the drop of a dime, right, likeI was just, I was like a
firecracker, ready to be set offon a regular basis.
I was so high vibration and youknow, the more and more I
(44:21):
started doing this mindfulnessand again, it's little, it's
little things, and for me it wasturning off the fucking
television with COVID andpolitics.
I was like I cannot have thatstimulus in my life Period.
Right, like it might be backingaway from friendships or
relationships, even right, likeI think the more I I did so,
(44:43):
that habit sacking rate that youtalk about, the more you do,
the more you want right, themore you crave like the more
mindfulness I learned andpracticed, the more I wanted
right, and it was for me to letgo of the to identify toxic
thoughts, toxic people, toxicemotions, anything that was
going to impede on my own piece,cause, like my, my word is like
(45:05):
peace, right, like I.
Just I need internal peace, andso it became very easy for me
to filter everything in my lifethrough this Is this going to
bring me peace or is this notgoing to bring me peace?
Yeah, bring me joy.
Does this not bring me joy?
I wouldn't have had that if Ididn't start just doing those
little things.
Right, like, I'm not tellinganybody on this podcast that you
(45:27):
know you're going to suddenlyfind all the joy in your life
because you're meditating fiveminutes a day, right, like it's
not.
That's not what's going tohappen.
You have to do the mindfulnesspractice in some way, shape or
form.
Sit in your chair and do deepbreathing for a minute, 60
seconds.
If you can't give me fiveminutes, give me 60 seconds,
(45:47):
right, and maybe do that twotimes a day, right, before you
get out of your car and comeinto the house, if that's your
bewitching hour that you'realways like.
I got to.
Like you go from like a hardjob to like kids and sit in your
car for 60 seconds and breathedeep.
You have 60 seconds.
(46:08):
I promise you this.
Right, it will make all thedifference in the world.
Center yourself, groundsyourself, and you will be able
to start to do more of that.
The more you do, the more youwill be able to do.
Right.
And then it's weird because Isit here now still practicing.
Right, because it is an ongoingprocess.
(46:28):
Like we said, this is not likeI have not suddenly, like I'm
not healed and perfect.
I'm not a Tibetan monk yet,right, so it's like.
But it gives me the skill tocontrol what I need to control,
right, it gives me the skill tocontrol my mind.
It does not make all thethoughts go away.
I do not wake up and I'm likefilled with joy and peace and
(46:51):
gratitude, right Like sometimesI wake up and I feel fat.
Right, fat is not a feeling.
But sometimes you have those andyou're like, all right, I'm
moving on with my day right Likeagain.
You have thoughts.
You do not judge them.
There's no guilt, there's noshame.
It really teaches you to beable to be.
It's about awareness and thenbeing able to do something about
(47:13):
it or not.
That's what it comes down to,right, like if we had to really
simplify it, like because wehave talked about all these
wonderful benefits.
But if we're talking aboutchanging habits to be healthier,
whether it's nutrition,training, you know, job stuff,
trying to be better at your job,trying to be a better parent,
trying to be a better co-workerhusband, brother, mother, sister
(47:34):
, spouse if you can't getcontrol of your own thoughts,
your own emotions, you cannotextrinsically be there for
anyone else, right?
The fifth one in this and itlies about there being a very
powerful vacuum of custody.
Limit a skill, not armor theskill with your brain to be able
(47:57):
to handle all the othersituations.
And then you will find, like Isaid, like I sit here now and I
think back to like, wow, what adifferent person I am.
Yeah, right, like I, just I canwatch the new.
You know, my husband will stillget like really wound up about
like stuff and the news,watching the news and stuff and
I'm like unbothered, I mean,yeah, I'm like that's horrible
(48:22):
and that's really sad and that's, but also I got to let that go.
Right, like I can't, I can'thold on to all the things of
everybody.
Right, like there are things Ican do things about and there
are things I can't.
Yeah, but there's just that'sjust kind of like where I find
myself.
So, but to add on to your likewhen you wake up in the morning
so my husband does the samething.
(48:42):
He does not have to get up at430 in the morning, but he likes
to have this 30 minutes of it'snot really mindfulness, but it
is him like preparing for hisday with his coffee, he's got
the news on and he's scrollinghis phone Right.
So it's not exactly theembodiment of my, but it's his
me time, but it is his.
That is his 30 minutes of.
I just need to just set myselffor the day.
Right, like I'm scrollingstupid TikToks and that's what
(49:04):
makes him happy.
Right, like that's not reallymy finalist, but but that's what
he does.
Yeah, I, when I wake in themorning, I do.
I have a before I get out ofbed and when I get into the bed
routine and it we could.
You said we should do all theother podcasts, but I'll touch
on that.
I stretch in the morning in thebed like big cat stretches like
arms over my head, point mytoes like stretching.
(49:26):
It literally takes 20 seconds.
Speaker 2 (49:29):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
I stretch in like a couple of different directions,
take a big breath and then I getout of bed.
I know Brandi does a gratitudething.
She lays in bed and thinks oflike a three to five things
she's grateful for before sheeven gets out of the bed.
Right, that's the first thingshe does, right?
And then I do the same thing atnight before I roll over and go
to sleep.
I do these big.
I got this actually from theburnout book.
Speaker 2 (49:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (49:53):
I have put this into practice every day, every.
I don't go to sleep withoutdoing.
I tense every muscle in my bodyand I hold it and I put my
breath.
I take a deep breath, I tenseeverything in my body.
I do that three times and thenI do five really deep breaths
and then I go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (50:11):
Yeah, I do that too.
I do that fast.
That is the whole concept.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
Like if you haven't read the burnout book I highly
recommend by Namasky, but it is.
It kind of talks a lot aboutthese things.
But there was a somebody didthis practice where they like
tense every muscle in their bodyand then let it go, and they
called it kind of like breakingthe stress cycle of the day,
right, it's just like all thistension and let it go, and it
was just.
It sounded silly.
When I did it I was like I'mgoing to try it one night and I
was like this is amazing.
Speaker 2 (50:36):
Yeah, it feels, great it feels amazing.
Speaker 1 (50:39):
It really does feel like you're just like taking all
the tension from the day andyou're like, and then you
breathe and then it's just gone.
Speaker 2 (50:46):
Yeah, it's such a good release.
It really is.
Speaker 1 (50:49):
So little things and there's just going to be
different things for everybody.
But so that is.
I think we've given some reallyeasy ways to get into a
mindfulness practice.
But again like you know.
You know, as a coach, I do thisfor people.
I help people learn how to dothese things.
(51:09):
This is the benefit of having acoach.
I think, through some of thisstuff, like the things we talked
about, things Aaron and I aretalking about like this is
literally the benefit of havinga coach that that preaches this
kind of stuff.
So definitely something if youfeel like you're just a little
too stuck and can't get into iton your own.
But you know, feel free toreach out.
(51:29):
But I really can't stressenough that not to be stressed
about all the stress.
But I can't stress enough aboutthe benefits of mind-body work.
Speaker 2 (51:40):
Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker 1 (51:41):
Yeah, all right, so maybe we'll get into some more
details about some other topicsin our next podcast.
But, yeah, if you have anythingelse, any other thing else
critical you wanted to add forthis that we made?
Speaker 2 (51:52):
I just thought of something really quick.
Yeah, a lot of parents can doand I recommended this to
somebody a while ago and theylove it.
If you have kids, especiallylittle kids, play with your kids
.
Oh my God Play therapy.
Set a timer for 20 minutes andif your kids like, play dollies
with me and you're like, well, Ihave to get dinner on the stop
(52:15):
and play with your kids because,that not only benefits your
kids which nowadays kids areignored because of a cell phone
but two you get into your child,your inner child, when you're
playing Barbies or when you're.
I wrestle with my nephew and heloves playing, wrestling and
(52:35):
doing jumping around and doingit, and I'll tell you, jumping
on the couch, that's fun.
You know like I think that isso key to do too.
Actually, sit down with yourkids and play with them or read
a book with them or do somethingwithout a phone or a computer
or something distracting you,because the amount of stress
(52:57):
relief that is is you'll know.
When you're done You're like,oh, that was actually really fun
, I want to do that again, youknow, because so many people
just don't do it.
They're like, oh, my kids canplay with each other, it's fine,
but they actually do want youto play with them and you get a
lot out of it.
So that could also be a form ofmindfulness too.
(53:18):
You know you're not juststopping and thinking and not
thinking about being present inthe moment, but being present in
the moment being with thepeople that you love the most,
Like that is so important to.
Speaker 1 (53:29):
And if you don't have kids, play with your pets, yes.
And if you don't have pets,play with yourself.
Speaker 2 (53:36):
That's a whole other.
Speaker 1 (53:41):
I took it there.
I mean it's a thing, it is athing the whole thing.
Go for that.
Go for that.
Nature walk instead, yeah,there you go.
If you don't have pets, playwith somebody else's place.
Don't play with somebody else'skids, because then that could
get weird.
Speaker 2 (53:53):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (53:55):
That's a whole other podcast.
All right, that was great.
I think that was really great.
Erin, thank you so much forco-hosting with me.
Again, we're going to come backon with some more topics.
Yeah, if you guys have topics,if you know you want to shoot
them over to me or Erin, or youknow.
You know, just get them out tous and all of the information's
(54:16):
in the podcast notes.
But, yeah, we'd love to hearyour ideas for some other topics
.
Yeah, but don't get weird, useyour head, it'll all be okay.
Bye, bye, bye.
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