May 6, 2025 • 27 mins
"What is my purpose?" stands among life's most profound questions, keeping us awake at night searching for clarity. But what if finding your purpose isn't about discovering one perfect answer or having a magical "aha" moment? What if purpose is something we actively build through daily work, meaningful connections, and overcoming challenges?
In this thought-provoking episode, we explore purpose as a dynamic, evolving force rather than a static destination. Purpose extends far beyond your job title—it encompasses how you show up as a parent, community member, friend, and human being. We challenge the damaging societal pressure that demands young people to "figure it all out" immediately and stick with one path forever. This narrative creates needless anxiety when the truth is that purpose development represents an ongoing journey of discovery.
The mindset you bring to your purpose journey matters tremendously. Those who approach life with openness, positivity, and a willingness to say "yes" to new challenges consistently find themselves gravitating toward meaningful work. Combined with the support of a strong community that both reflects your talents and connects you to opportunities, this growth mindset becomes the foundation for purpose-driven living.
Listen now and discover how to build a life that feels deeply aligned with who you are becoming.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Everything comes from other people, right.
So whether it's a newopportunity, whether you're
learning something justconnecting with other people,
they may give you even somethingto think about that you haven't
thought about before.
You are listening to Coffee andCareer Hour.
(00:23):
We are your hosts.
I'm Armina and I'm MJ, Twocareer counselors and friends
chatting about all things lifeand career.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
So grab a cup of coffee and join us.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Welcome back to Coffee and Career Hour, the
podcast where we sip, reflectand take bold steps toward
building a life and career thatfeels right for you.
And today we're diving into oneof the biggest questions of all
what is my purpose?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Oof that's a big one.
It's a question that reallykeeps us up at night and,
honestly, it doesn't always comewith a straightforward answer.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Exactly.
Whether you're just startingout, feeling stuck or going
through a career transition, theidea of purpose can feel
overwhelming.
But what if we stopped lookingfor one perfect answer and
started seeing purpose assomething we build over time?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
That part.
It's not always this magicalaha moment, but sometimes
purpose is found in the work youdo daily, the people you impact
or even the challenges youovercome.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
So in this episode we're going to explore what
purpose really means, how touncover it in your own life and
the ways it can evolve as yougrow.
We'll talk about strategies,stories and mindset shifts that
can help you feel more alignedeven when the path ahead isn't
crystal clear.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
If you've ever felt like you were meant for more or
something was missing, you're inthe right place.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So grab your coffee, get cozy and let's start the
conversation.
So, mj purpose.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
That's a big word.
It's a big word, I think, thatcarries a lot of weight in our
lives and how we dictate thechoices that we make and how we
really do process and reflect onthe things that we do.
I know that was like a lot, butI'm thinking like there's
purpose, is like, of coursewe're talking to talk about
purpose in your career, but I'mlike there's purpose as a human
(02:24):
purpose, as a parent purpose,purpose as a human purpose as a
parent, purpose as a sibling,purpose, as a as a caregiver,
purpose as a spouse.
There's so many ways you canreally interpret the word
purpose and I think you know wespend our lives trying to
understand the purpose of lifeyeah, so it has so much more
meaning to it than like a simple, like kind of answer oh my gosh
, that word holds so much weight.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It's such a heavy word, like I feel like I could
even see somebody's shoulderslike carrying that weight.
When you start talking aboutpurpose, like when we talk about
that with our students, ourclients, um it is.
It is a very uh complex concept, right, but as humans, we're
always seeking to find answersLike why am I doing whatever it
(03:10):
is that I'm doing?
Why am I here?
Like the purpose of life it'sso interesting.
Why do you think people ingeneral kind of want to find
these answers?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I think it gives them like a better sense, like feel
more grounded to the life thatthey're living, or feel more
like a foundation to it, or likethere's there's not that much
uncertainty or unknown.
So the more like you know, wehave this weird phenomenon as
humans like the more we know,the better like things can be,
or like the the better we feelsometimes, and I think these are
(03:42):
things that can remain unspokenor unhidden or just like like.
As you grow in life, youcontinue to evolve your
definition of purpose, or itchanges with you too.
So I don't know if thatanswered your question, but
that's kind of what came to mindyeah, no, I, I completely agree
.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I think the need to like know why we're doing things
or where we're headed is itallows us to feel, I think, in
control.
Yeah, like peace, yeah, yeah,and we see that with uh clients
that we work with who are makingcareer decisions and and they
don't know what they want to do,and the amount of anxiety that
(04:22):
comes with that uncertainty.
So I think it's that sense oflike control, of I know what I'm
doing and I know what I need todo to get there.
But unfortunately, as we'vebeen doing career counseling for
many years now, we've seen itall and we've seen how it it's
never really a clear, directpath.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Yeah, you know like I yes, you're right, it's not.
I'm just like thinking abouthow many individuals will
approach us or seek out careercounseling, advising or services
because they want to be unclear.
And then we sometimes are likedang, did we?
Did that person leave like withmore questions?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
than they came in.
Oh yeah, that happens all thetime, like it it really is a
thing of.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
It's more than just the one simple answer.
It's more than a like this isit, or there's, like here's a
list of things and pick it, orit's like one value of yours
right.
It goes way beyond that and Ithink individuals, as human
beings, sometimes we're notready to fully understand or
discover what our purpose is, orwe're not ready to really get
on track to do all the work todiscover and understand and and
(05:29):
be there like fully yeah, uh,well, because I think that
happens, because it's scary,yeah, right, because we have to
let go.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I love that reaction.
Tell me more what happenedthere.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I don't want to let go.
Like you said, I like to be incontrol.
Well, not, you weren't sayingabout me, but I like to be in
control.
I like to know.
I like to know what's the nextstep, what the plan is, plan A
through Z, right, like all of it.
So having to let go and letsomething bigger help me uncover
my purpose is really hardBecause at the end of the day,
(06:06):
we're like at the people say,right, we're in control of our
own lives.
But then when we think ofsomething as theoretical or
philosophical as your purposeand what that looks like in the
perspective of a whole humanrace, it goes beyond like what
your control is yeah, no,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I mean, sometimes we see it people will be forcing
this path and like the universeis like telling them, no, this
is not the right path and it maytake years for the person to
kind of redirect themselves dueto different circumstances.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
But it's because, yeah, there's a bigger kind of
purpose behind what they shouldbe doing or where maybe their
skills and their talents can beof service to, to the greater
human race and there's a huge, Ithink, misconception and armin
and I are going to talk aboutthis, but there's like a huge
misconception that your purposeonly exists in your job and in
your career, which is where wetend to really want to find it,
(07:00):
because we spend most of ourlives at work right, making
money to sustain our human state, so we want to tend to throw
our purpose or have our job beour purpose, because we feel
more fulfilled and and likehumanified if we do that, versus
our purpose being like outsideof our jobs.
So there's also like acontradiction there too, because
(07:21):
there's like the purpose ofbeing a human and then the
purpose of being like anemployee oh yeah, I mean, that's
why earlier, when we weretalking offline, and I was like
what is my purpose, mj?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I know why, why I do the work that I do.
I've shared it many times indifferent capacities and and it
is because I want to inspire andeducate people to find their
why and be as fulfilled as theycan be.
So to me, that is why I do thework that I do.
But the reason why I was likewhat is my purpose is because
(07:57):
now I have other roles in mylife.
Right, becoming a mother hasmade me rethink things as to why
do I do what I do, and I havethis whole bigger purpose of
raising another human being.
So I think, in that sense, tospeak to what you're talking
about, like we have differentroles and, over time, like
(08:17):
things shift in our lives towhere different roles and
identities will take precedenceover others too.
So our purpose is definitelyway bigger than the job that we
have, because it's in the waythat we show up for our
community, it's in the way thatwe serve other people who are in
our lives, and that can happenthrough volunteer work, that can
(08:38):
happen in our home life or itcan happen in our workspace.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, in our, in our, or it can happen, in our
workspace.
Yeah, I'm a firm believer that,like your purpose, development
or evolution, is a constant formof discovery.
You have to constantly I mean,I don't want to say like your
attention shouldn't solely beyour whole life like figuring
out your purpose.
Yes, figure it out, but alsoenjoy life because through
happenstance and throughunforeseen events, like you also
(09:05):
discover your purpose.
And it's constant discovery.
It's constant rediscovery orreignitement I don't know if
that's a word, but like of thatfeeling, of that thing, of that
movement, of that reason.
And I think, through the roleslike you're talking about, as we
obtain and we shift, throughpromotions, at work, through
different phases of our lives,we are constantly rediscovering
(09:28):
our purpose, redefining it,realigning it with who we are.
So for me, it's always likethis constant, like okay, go
back to the drawing board.
Or like making sure that thisis what it is, or how can I
tweak it, or what has changedover time too absolutely.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
But what breaks my heart is that when we talk to
young adults, people who aremaking decisions, they feel this
immense pressure to figure outtheir career goals and like tie
that in with what is the biggerpurpose and what am I passionate
about and who am I, and thenlike they're also feeling like
(10:06):
they need to make the decisionnow and this is going to be the
end, all be all and the only onething that they can be for the
rest of their lives.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, it's hard when we, you know, we work with young
adults and it's because they'removing on to this huge
transition in their life.
Right, they're becoming humans,functioning society members
that are going to give back andthey need to find this purpose,
because their purpose maybe wasschool or education or this one
program or training or whateverit is, and now they're moving on
and they need to find somethingto fill that hole.
(10:37):
And a lot of times we strugglewith understanding what our
purpose is, or hearing that it'snot one thing or you don't have
to figure it out now, or youwon't figure it out right now,
at the age of like 24.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Oh my gosh, the amount of time I've had.
Most clients students kind ofhave a reaction to what I'm
saying when I talk about careerdevelopment being a lifelong
process and our roles shift andour priorities shift, our values
may evolve over time.
Like the amount of time I have,like this visceral reaction, or
like they get tensed up andthey're like, oh you know, it's
(11:16):
not what they want to hear.
It's not what they want to hearbecause they they want to hear
that.
Okay, you like x, y and z.
You studied x, y and z.
Here are 10 jobs that you canpursue and pick one that sounds
the best, that also matches thelifestyle, and like the finances
that you're wanting to um haveand then, and that's it, and
(11:37):
you're gonna do that for thenext 30 to 40 years and then
retire that's yeah when you putit that way.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
No, thank you, um, I was when you said that I was
thinking about.
Recently I did a presentationto high school students, um, for
the la county, and I rememberone of them asking me like how
do you pick your major?
And you know like your major isso well.
They framed the question of inthe sense of like your, how do I
(12:03):
pick my major?
Because clearly it's a big dealbetween my major and my career
and what I do for the rest of mylife.
And you know like I, I myphilosophy is well, specifically
to education is what you studyis not going to confine you to a
list of 10 things, right to thelist of five my parents gave me
or whatever.
So I remember saying to thestudents like well, your major,
(12:28):
pick what you enjoy and you wantto study.
It's great if you know what youwant to do in the long term.
It's also great if you don'tknow and you get to try
different majors out.
You don't have to have itfigured out because in the long
run your major won't matter.
(12:48):
The amount of eyes that lookedup at me because they're in this
program for like extra supportand things like that, I was
shocked because I think wecreate a society of little
humans who, like, are growing upto be like.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I need to pick one thing and I'm going to be
perfect at this one thing.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I'm going to do this one thing.
It's going to be like I need topick one thing and I'm going to
be perfect at this one thing.
I'm going to do this one thing.
It's going to be like myidentity, it's going to be the
thing that I do, and I rememberlike saying that and these kids
were just like what in the worldis this woman saying yeah?
And I explained it a little bitmore and I talked about how
people you know choose thingsand when we're told to choose
things at a young age, like wedon't really know.
And education sometimes makesus take certain paths that like
(13:25):
don't align with the biggerpicture or like make us like
stay confined to certainopportunities, and college is a
time where you're like able topick them out.
But clearly this was for highschool students, but this goes
to anyone your purpose, what youstudied or what you have been
doing for the last 20 years,your purpose, what you studied
or what you have been doing forthe last 20 years shouldn't
(13:45):
dictate your purpose and whatyou do for the next 20 years of
your life?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
yeah, absolutely, because guess what people are
dynamic.
We are going to evolve.
Actually, it's a good thing.
You don't want to be in thesame job for 30, 40 years.
That sounds miserable, to behonest.
You want to experiencedifferent things.
You want to put yourself insituations that challenge you.
(14:07):
I mean, I can't think of anysingle time that I've had growth
.
When I think back to myexperiences, it's been where I
was in an uncomfortablesituation and then I had to like
, develop a new skill.
Then I grow from thatexperience right?
So imagine not.
And of course it'suncomfortable, so you don't want
(14:29):
to put yourself in thosesituations.
But taking those risks andtrying different things and
staying curious is really whatis going to help you kind of
create your purpose over time,because you're going to grow and
develop new skills, figure outnew interests and new things
that you didn't realize werealigned with you before, and
then you start exploring thoseand then that leads to another
(14:51):
opportunity keep learning, keepgrowing, don't, don't, don't
confine yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I said that earlier, but I'm going to say it again
and I think here I have like astory of someone that I know,
who.
Their purpose, like from thethird person perspective to me
and they've shared this just tonot the specific language is to
like entertain.
They enjoy, like seeing peoplelaugh and happy people together
and connecting others and justlike they're just such a
(15:19):
positive person.
They're always smiling, they'realways laughing, there's always
a joke up their sleeve or justa way to make you feel lighter,
and I know that.
And they went into theentertainment business in the
sense of like, um, food and, um,I guess, beverage or liquor, I
don't know, I don't know what tocall it.
But they started out as abartender Um, honestly think it
(15:39):
was uh, behind a bartender andthen they became a bartender and
they just constantly areentertaining individuals through
um, through stories, throughjokes, through music, like I
just remember hearing storiesand then from that that opened a
different opportunity and thisperson was like now, working for
the two top, like bars orcompanies in Los Angeles for
(16:01):
liquor and then ultimately gotlike, went from being a
bartender to now, like this,sales rep for a huge liquor
company and was traveling allover the world and seeing how
that liquor was made.
And I've always admired thembecause their purpose.
They've followed that andthey're someone with not a
traditional education experienceand they never went to higher
education, but their purpose hasgrown with them throughout all
(16:25):
these experiences and they'vealways held on to that, no
matter where they've climbed orthe roles that they've had or
how it's shifted over time andthey've just I think I've seen
them tweak it a little bit towhatever their, whatever life
phase they're living in.
It's always something where Iconstantly see this person where
their skills have grown, haveshaped them, have helped them
(16:46):
shape themselves for the nextopportunity and have been ready
for that and just constantlylike learning, growing, becoming
better every day, like theyhave this, this funny saying
every time it's a close familymember of mine.
But but every time I make likea mistake or something, he'll
tell me like you know, be better, like be better, do better, be
better.
And it's a joke to like teaseme, but it's something that has
(17:08):
always stuck with me and I seethat in them they're always
trying to do better, be betterand growing to the next thing.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Oh, that's amazing.
What a wholesome story.
I love that.
So you were talking about thisperson kind of starting off as
working behind a bartender rightand then working their way up
to traveling the world andgrowing their business and so
forth and perfecting their craft.
So what do you think MJ hasallowed this person to find new
(17:39):
opportunities and grow?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I think it was their mindset of being open to it.
They never have allowed like tohear the words no or to find
different directions to get tothe same outcome, like that one
path.
They're like I'm going to finda different route or I'm going
to do this, or they've neverlike I've never, ever heard them
say no to something or not beopen to try something.
(18:02):
They never had a limiting orfixed mindset.
They've always had a growthmindset that has carried them
through from opportunity toopportunity and I know that as
humans we have different rolesand phases, that we can't say
yes to every opportunity.
But I have seen him say yes tothings that have dramatically
changed his work experience.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Oh my gosh, I love that.
The mindset is so, sofoundational to finding out what
it is that we want to do andfiguring out why we're doing it,
figuring out who we're servingand what is the bigger reason
behind the work that we do orthe roles that we play in our
lives.
Like, having that mindset ofbeing open, wanting to learn,
(18:42):
wanting to grow is thefoundation to unlocking these
opportunities.
And, on that same note ofmindset, I think it's energy too
.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah oh, he's a goofball and a positive human
being.
Like when he's in a rut.
He's in a rut, but like 90 ofthe time this person is not he's
in a rut.
He's in a rut, but like 90% ofthe time this person is not.
He's just like has this justlight of energy?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, I love that.
But I think that energy, whenyou show up to the spaces that
you're in with that energy, italso unlocks opportunities.
Yeah, because then peoplegravitate towards like, okay,
you're really invested in thiswork, you're really invested in
living out that mission of whatit is that you're involved.
Invested in this work, you'rereally invested in in living out
that mission of what it is thatyou're involved in, right, and
(19:23):
then people gravitate towardsthat.
That's true.
So I I that's such an amazingstory and kudos to your family
member for thank you reallyembracing that.
Like happenstance, growthmindset and positive energy um
cycle that has clearly led themto success.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, you know, one of the other things that I can
tell you when it comes to thisidea of Purpose Harmony is
sometimes we want to do it allalone, yeah, and we want to go
through this journeyindependently and figure it out
all on our own.
And you know, tough rocksbecause you're gonna need your
(20:03):
community to do this and, ascounselors, I think we really
encourage people to surroundthemselves around others who
want to uplift them, empowerthem and see them climb the
ladder and really holistically,find out who they are.
But you do need a community.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Absolutely.
I mean, everything comes fromother people, right?
So whether it's a newopportunity, whether you're
learning something justconnecting with other people,
they may give you even somethingto think about that you haven't
thought about before.
Right, I was actually listeningto another podcast, the Mel
Robbins podcast, and she had JayShetty on her show and they
(20:43):
were talking about purpose aswell, and they were talking
about asking people in yourcommunity to essentially help
you figure out what your purposeis.
So, asking people, what is itthat you think of when you think
of me?
What are some descriptive words?
Or what are times when you'vestruggled and you've thought of
me as like, oh, I could be veryhelpful in this situation?
(21:06):
So even in those types ofconversations, your community
can be a mirror for you right Tohelp you gain some clarity.
But it could also be to unlocknew opportunities.
We've talked about networkingon this show I don't know how
many times at this point andwe've we've shared statistics,
(21:26):
data 85% of opportunities arearen't even posted anywhere, if
we're talking traditional jobsand so forth.
So your community can be thatspace where you get referrals,
you opportunities, and it canalso just be a mirror for you to
reflect and figure out howpeople see you, what talents
they see in you, becausesometimes we have blind spots.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, I'm just soaking that in because I know
like each of us have gotten towhere we are through community.
It's through the people aroundus that have uplifted us into
these spaces and have seen thosepockets of greatness I should
say that have given us a chanceto unlock that or pushed us in a
certain direction that reallyjust allowed us to get closer to
(22:14):
our sense of purpose or liveout our sense of purpose too.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh my gosh, absolutely.
Had I not gotten feedback aboutlike being a good presenter
back in grad school?
Who knows, I may never haveeven had the courage to offer
workshops and speakingengagements to careerize, but
it's through my communityreflecting back talents that
they were seeing in me that Ididn't see in myself because of
(22:39):
my own limiting beliefs, right?
So that's just one smallexample of your community being
being a mirror for you.
I love that.
Yeah, one thing I also reallywant to acknowledge in finding
your purpose is that you've gotto take risks too, because you
can certainly find your purposein your current situation and
(23:03):
the work that you're doing andthe roles that you currently
have, but you can also take bigrisks depending on who you are,
depending on what, what's goingon in your life right now.
There's so many people that Ican think of who have taken a
big risk when they've foundalignment with something and you
know it's a risk you don't knowif you're going to succeed at
(23:25):
it or how it's going to go, butknowing that this is something
that's really speaking to theirsoul, and willing to risk
everything to get there I thinka lot of entrepreneurs are in
that, in a in alignment or inagreement with you, because they
sometimes risk it all.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Right, they leave what they know and what they're
comfortable with and go out andstart something, a new adventure
, without fully understanding orseeing the big picture or the
end result.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah, yeah, that's my husband as one example.
He chose to leave his job theyear we had a baby, so imagine
that.
A new baby and you all canimagine that already our life
was very different and financialcommitment that comes with that
(24:15):
.
But he was in alignment withhis purpose and he had figured
out that he wants to be acreator and offer his talents
and creativity to supportcommunities and children and be
in creative spaces where he canhave a positive impact in those
(24:37):
areas.
So he decided to leave and Iwas completely supportive
because I was like yes, I'm acareer counselor and I encourage
you to follow your talents,follow your dreams, completely
not knowing what that's going tolook like.
But here we are.
He did it, he's doing it.
He's creating multiple thingsin the crypto space, within
(24:59):
children's books and many otherthings that he's working on.
So super proud of him.
But he is a prime example ofsomebody who reflected on what
it is that he wants to offerthis world and what his
motivation is for the work thathe does, and then he decided to
take a risk so he can actuallydo that.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Yeah, and I know for some of our listeners they may
be thinking like why I justcan't just quit my job and just
do whatever it is Right, and Ithink that definitely comes with
a lot of like planning, rightI'm sure you guys talked about
it beforehand Plan.
There's, like you said,financial commitments and things
like this.
But I think Armani is alsogetting to the point that risks
can be big, like your husbands,but they can also be smaller too
(25:42):
, right.
And just because they're smalldoesn't mean that they don't
have enough significance as abig risk.
A risk can be you asking for adifferent project.
A risk can be you connectingwith people because maybe that
puts you out of your comfortzone.
A risk can be you learning anew skill or trying out a
different job or applying for adifferent role.
(26:03):
Risks are come in all shapesand sizes.
So definitely if you want tospice things up and see if your
purpose is still in alignment.
risk it.
Do something, Try something.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Thank you so much for listening.
If you enjoy our show, we askthat you write a review on Apple
Podcasts to help us reach morepeople looking to level up their
career Want to connect with us.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
More people looking to level up their career Want to
connect with us.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Be sure to follow our Instagrams and websites.
Follow Career Rise on Instagramfor career advice and
motivation.
To help you stay up to date onall things career.
Be sure to also visit mywebsite, careerriseorg, to book
a career counseling package andaccess free career resources.
My goal is to help you clarifyyour goals, make a plan and feel
(26:49):
confident in your careerjourney.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
You can follow me on Instagram at
CareerConfidentLatina for yourdaily dose of career advice and
my journey as a first-generationLatina counselor.
You can access free resourcesor even work with me by visiting
my website,careerconfidenceonline.
I want to help you grow yourconfidence and help you reach
your career dreams.
(27:12):
Adios.
Everything comes from other people, right.
So whether it's a newopportunity, whether you're
learning something justconnecting with other people,
they may give you even somethingto think about that you haven't
thought about before.
You are listening to Coffee andCareer Hour.
(00:23):
We are your hosts.
I'm Armina and I'm MJ, Twocareer counselors and friends
chatting about all things lifeand career.
Speaker 2 (00:31):
So grab a cup of coffee and join us.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Welcome back to Coffee and Career Hour, the
podcast where we sip, reflectand take bold steps toward
building a life and career thatfeels right for you.
And today we're diving into oneof the biggest questions of all
what is my purpose?
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Oof that's a big one.
It's a question that reallykeeps us up at night and,
honestly, it doesn't always comewith a straightforward answer.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Exactly.
Whether you're just startingout, feeling stuck or going
through a career transition, theidea of purpose can feel
overwhelming.
But what if we stopped lookingfor one perfect answer and
started seeing purpose assomething we build over time?
Speaker 2 (01:17):
That part.
It's not always this magicalaha moment, but sometimes
purpose is found in the work youdo daily, the people you impact
or even the challenges youovercome.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
So in this episode we're going to explore what
purpose really means, how touncover it in your own life and
the ways it can evolve as yougrow.
We'll talk about strategies,stories and mindset shifts that
can help you feel more alignedeven when the path ahead isn't
crystal clear.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
If you've ever felt like you were meant for more or
something was missing, you're inthe right place.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
So grab your coffee, get cozy and let's start the
conversation.
So, mj purpose.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
That's a big word.
It's a big word, I think, thatcarries a lot of weight in our
lives and how we dictate thechoices that we make and how we
really do process and reflect onthe things that we do.
I know that was like a lot, butI'm thinking like there's
purpose, is like, of coursewe're talking to talk about
purpose in your career, but I'mlike there's purpose as a human
(02:24):
purpose, as a parent purpose,purpose as a human purpose as a
parent, purpose as a sibling,purpose, as a as a caregiver,
purpose as a spouse.
There's so many ways you canreally interpret the word
purpose and I think you know wespend our lives trying to
understand the purpose of lifeyeah, so it has so much more
meaning to it than like a simple, like kind of answer oh my gosh
, that word holds so much weight.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
It's such a heavy word, like I feel like I could
even see somebody's shoulderslike carrying that weight.
When you start talking aboutpurpose, like when we talk about
that with our students, ourclients, um it is.
It is a very uh complex concept, right, but as humans, we're
always seeking to find answersLike why am I doing whatever it
(03:10):
is that I'm doing?
Why am I here?
Like the purpose of life it'sso interesting.
Why do you think people ingeneral kind of want to find
these answers?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
I think it gives them like a better sense, like feel
more grounded to the life thatthey're living, or feel more
like a foundation to it, or likethere's there's not that much
uncertainty or unknown.
So the more like you know, wehave this weird phenomenon as
humans like the more we know,the better like things can be,
or like the the better we feelsometimes, and I think these are
(03:42):
things that can remain unspokenor unhidden or just like like.
As you grow in life, youcontinue to evolve your
definition of purpose, or itchanges with you too.
So I don't know if thatanswered your question, but
that's kind of what came to mindyeah, no, I, I completely agree
.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
I think the need to like know why we're doing things
or where we're headed is itallows us to feel, I think, in
control.
Yeah, like peace, yeah, yeah,and we see that with uh clients
that we work with who are makingcareer decisions and and they
don't know what they want to do,and the amount of anxiety that
(04:22):
comes with that uncertainty.
So I think it's that sense oflike control, of I know what I'm
doing and I know what I need todo to get there.
But unfortunately, as we'vebeen doing career counseling for
many years now, we've seen itall and we've seen how it it's
never really a clear, directpath.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Yeah, you know like I yes, you're right, it's not.
I'm just like thinking abouthow many individuals will
approach us or seek out careercounseling, advising or services
because they want to be unclear.
And then we sometimes are likedang, did we?
Did that person leave like withmore questions?
Speaker 1 (05:01):
than they came in.
Oh yeah, that happens all thetime, like it it really is a
thing of.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
It's more than just the one simple answer.
It's more than a like this isit, or there's, like here's a
list of things and pick it, orit's like one value of yours
right.
It goes way beyond that and Ithink individuals, as human
beings, sometimes we're notready to fully understand or
discover what our purpose is, orwe're not ready to really get
on track to do all the work todiscover and understand and and
(05:29):
be there like fully yeah, uh,well, because I think that
happens, because it's scary,yeah, right, because we have to
let go.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, I love that reaction.
Tell me more what happenedthere.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I don't want to let go.
Like you said, I like to be incontrol.
Well, not, you weren't sayingabout me, but I like to be in
control.
I like to know.
I like to know what's the nextstep, what the plan is, plan A
through Z, right, like all of it.
So having to let go and letsomething bigger help me uncover
my purpose is really hardBecause at the end of the day,
(06:06):
we're like at the people say,right, we're in control of our
own lives.
But then when we think ofsomething as theoretical or
philosophical as your purposeand what that looks like in the
perspective of a whole humanrace, it goes beyond like what
your control is yeah, no,absolutely.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
I mean, sometimes we see it people will be forcing
this path and like the universeis like telling them, no, this
is not the right path and it maytake years for the person to
kind of redirect themselves dueto different circumstances.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
But it's because, yeah, there's a bigger kind of
purpose behind what they shouldbe doing or where maybe their
skills and their talents can beof service to, to the greater
human race and there's a huge, Ithink, misconception and armin
and I are going to talk aboutthis, but there's like a huge
misconception that your purposeonly exists in your job and in
your career, which is where wetend to really want to find it,
(07:00):
because we spend most of ourlives at work right, making
money to sustain our human state, so we want to tend to throw
our purpose or have our job beour purpose, because we feel
more fulfilled and and likehumanified if we do that, versus
our purpose being like outsideof our jobs.
So there's also like acontradiction there too, because
(07:21):
there's like the purpose ofbeing a human and then the
purpose of being like anemployee oh yeah, I mean, that's
why earlier, when we weretalking offline, and I was like
what is my purpose, mj?
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I know why, why I do the work that I do.
I've shared it many times indifferent capacities and and it
is because I want to inspire andeducate people to find their
why and be as fulfilled as theycan be.
So to me, that is why I do thework that I do.
But the reason why I was likewhat is my purpose is because
(07:57):
now I have other roles in mylife.
Right, becoming a mother hasmade me rethink things as to why
do I do what I do, and I havethis whole bigger purpose of
raising another human being.
So I think, in that sense, tospeak to what you're talking
about, like we have differentroles and, over time, like
(08:17):
things shift in our lives towhere different roles and
identities will take precedenceover others too.
So our purpose is definitelyway bigger than the job that we
have, because it's in the waythat we show up for our
community, it's in the way thatwe serve other people who are in
our lives, and that can happenthrough volunteer work, that can
(08:38):
happen in our home life or itcan happen in our workspace.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Yeah, in our, in our, or it can happen, in our
workspace.
Yeah, I'm a firm believer that,like your purpose, development
or evolution, is a constant formof discovery.
You have to constantly I mean,I don't want to say like your
attention shouldn't solely beyour whole life like figuring
out your purpose.
Yes, figure it out, but alsoenjoy life because through
happenstance and throughunforeseen events, like you also
(09:05):
discover your purpose.
And it's constant discovery.
It's constant rediscovery orreignitement I don't know if
that's a word, but like of thatfeeling, of that thing, of that
movement, of that reason.
And I think, through the roleslike you're talking about, as we
obtain and we shift, throughpromotions, at work, through
different phases of our lives,we are constantly rediscovering
(09:28):
our purpose, redefining it,realigning it with who we are.
So for me, it's always likethis constant, like okay, go
back to the drawing board.
Or like making sure that thisis what it is, or how can I
tweak it, or what has changedover time too absolutely.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
But what breaks my heart is that when we talk to
young adults, people who aremaking decisions, they feel this
immense pressure to figure outtheir career goals and like tie
that in with what is the biggerpurpose and what am I passionate
about and who am I, and thenlike they're also feeling like
(10:06):
they need to make the decisionnow and this is going to be the
end, all be all and the only onething that they can be for the
rest of their lives.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, it's hard when we, you know, we work with young
adults and it's because they'removing on to this huge
transition in their life.
Right, they're becoming humans,functioning society members
that are going to give back andthey need to find this purpose,
because their purpose maybe wasschool or education or this one
program or training or whateverit is, and now they're moving on
and they need to find somethingto fill that hole.
(10:37):
And a lot of times we strugglewith understanding what our
purpose is, or hearing that it'snot one thing or you don't have
to figure it out now, or youwon't figure it out right now,
at the age of like 24.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Oh my gosh, the amount of time I've had.
Most clients students kind ofhave a reaction to what I'm
saying when I talk about careerdevelopment being a lifelong
process and our roles shift andour priorities shift, our values
may evolve over time.
Like the amount of time I have,like this visceral reaction, or
like they get tensed up andthey're like, oh you know, it's
(11:16):
not what they want to hear.
It's not what they want to hearbecause they they want to hear
that.
Okay, you like x, y and z.
You studied x, y and z.
Here are 10 jobs that you canpursue and pick one that sounds
the best, that also matches thelifestyle, and like the finances
that you're wanting to um haveand then, and that's it, and
(11:37):
you're gonna do that for thenext 30 to 40 years and then
retire that's yeah when you putit that way.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
No, thank you, um, I was when you said that I was
thinking about.
Recently I did a presentationto high school students, um, for
the la county, and I rememberone of them asking me like how
do you pick your major?
And you know like your major isso well.
They framed the question of inthe sense of like your, how do I
(12:03):
pick my major?
Because clearly it's a big dealbetween my major and my career
and what I do for the rest of mylife.
And you know like I, I myphilosophy is well, specifically
to education is what you studyis not going to confine you to a
list of 10 things, right to thelist of five my parents gave me
or whatever.
So I remember saying to thestudents like well, your major,
(12:28):
pick what you enjoy and you wantto study.
It's great if you know what youwant to do in the long term.
It's also great if you don'tknow and you get to try
different majors out.
You don't have to have itfigured out because in the long
run your major won't matter.
(12:48):
The amount of eyes that lookedup at me because they're in this
program for like extra supportand things like that, I was
shocked because I think wecreate a society of little
humans who, like, are growing upto be like.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
I need to pick one thing and I'm going to be
perfect at this one thing.
Speaker 2 (12:59):
I'm going to do this one thing.
It's going to be like I need topick one thing and I'm going to
be perfect at this one thing.
I'm going to do this one thing.
It's going to be like myidentity, it's going to be the
thing that I do, and I rememberlike saying that and these kids
were just like what in the worldis this woman saying yeah?
And I explained it a little bitmore and I talked about how
people you know choose thingsand when we're told to choose
things at a young age, like wedon't really know.
And education sometimes makesus take certain paths that like
(13:25):
don't align with the biggerpicture or like make us like
stay confined to certainopportunities, and college is a
time where you're like able topick them out.
But clearly this was for highschool students, but this goes
to anyone your purpose, what youstudied or what you have been
doing for the last 20 years,your purpose, what you studied
or what you have been doing forthe last 20 years shouldn't
(13:45):
dictate your purpose and whatyou do for the next 20 years of
your life?
Speaker 1 (13:47):
yeah, absolutely, because guess what people are
dynamic.
We are going to evolve.
Actually, it's a good thing.
You don't want to be in thesame job for 30, 40 years.
That sounds miserable, to behonest.
You want to experiencedifferent things.
You want to put yourself insituations that challenge you.
(14:07):
I mean, I can't think of anysingle time that I've had growth
.
When I think back to myexperiences, it's been where I
was in an uncomfortablesituation and then I had to like
, develop a new skill.
Then I grow from thatexperience right?
So imagine not.
And of course it'suncomfortable, so you don't want
(14:29):
to put yourself in thosesituations.
But taking those risks andtrying different things and
staying curious is really whatis going to help you kind of
create your purpose over time,because you're going to grow and
develop new skills, figure outnew interests and new things
that you didn't realize werealigned with you before, and
then you start exploring thoseand then that leads to another
(14:51):
opportunity keep learning, keepgrowing, don't, don't, don't
confine yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
I said that earlier, but I'm going to say it again
and I think here I have like astory of someone that I know,
who.
Their purpose, like from thethird person perspective to me
and they've shared this just tonot the specific language is to
like entertain.
They enjoy, like seeing peoplelaugh and happy people together
and connecting others and justlike they're just such a
(15:19):
positive person.
They're always smiling, they'realways laughing, there's always
a joke up their sleeve or justa way to make you feel lighter,
and I know that.
And they went into theentertainment business in the
sense of like, um, food and, um,I guess, beverage or liquor, I
don't know, I don't know what tocall it.
But they started out as abartender Um, honestly think it
(15:39):
was uh, behind a bartender andthen they became a bartender and
they just constantly areentertaining individuals through
um, through stories, throughjokes, through music, like I
just remember hearing storiesand then from that that opened a
different opportunity and thisperson was like now, working for
the two top, like bars orcompanies in Los Angeles for
(16:01):
liquor and then ultimately gotlike, went from being a
bartender to now, like this,sales rep for a huge liquor
company and was traveling allover the world and seeing how
that liquor was made.
And I've always admired thembecause their purpose.
They've followed that andthey're someone with not a
traditional education experienceand they never went to higher
education, but their purpose hasgrown with them throughout all
(16:25):
these experiences and they'vealways held on to that, no
matter where they've climbed orthe roles that they've had or
how it's shifted over time andthey've just I think I've seen
them tweak it a little bit towhatever their, whatever life
phase they're living in.
It's always something where Iconstantly see this person where
their skills have grown, haveshaped them, have helped them
(16:46):
shape themselves for the nextopportunity and have been ready
for that and just constantlylike learning, growing, becoming
better every day, like theyhave this, this funny saying
every time it's a close familymember of mine.
But but every time I make likea mistake or something, he'll
tell me like you know, be better, like be better, do better, be
better.
And it's a joke to like teaseme, but it's something that has
(17:08):
always stuck with me and I seethat in them they're always
trying to do better, be betterand growing to the next thing.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Oh, that's amazing.
What a wholesome story.
I love that.
So you were talking about thisperson kind of starting off as
working behind a bartender rightand then working their way up
to traveling the world andgrowing their business and so
forth and perfecting their craft.
So what do you think MJ hasallowed this person to find new
(17:39):
opportunities and grow?
Speaker 2 (17:41):
I think it was their mindset of being open to it.
They never have allowed like tohear the words no or to find
different directions to get tothe same outcome, like that one
path.
They're like I'm going to finda different route or I'm going
to do this, or they've neverlike I've never, ever heard them
say no to something or not beopen to try something.
(18:02):
They never had a limiting orfixed mindset.
They've always had a growthmindset that has carried them
through from opportunity toopportunity and I know that as
humans we have different rolesand phases, that we can't say
yes to every opportunity.
But I have seen him say yes tothings that have dramatically
changed his work experience.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Oh my gosh, I love that.
The mindset is so, sofoundational to finding out what
it is that we want to do andfiguring out why we're doing it,
figuring out who we're servingand what is the bigger reason
behind the work that we do orthe roles that we play in our
lives.
Like, having that mindset ofbeing open, wanting to learn,
(18:42):
wanting to grow is thefoundation to unlocking these
opportunities.
And, on that same note ofmindset, I think it's energy too
.
Speaker 2 (18:50):
Yeah oh, he's a goofball and a positive human
being.
Like when he's in a rut.
He's in a rut, but like 90 ofthe time this person is not he's
in a rut.
He's in a rut, but like 90% ofthe time this person is not.
He's just like has this justlight of energy?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
Yeah, I love that.
But I think that energy, whenyou show up to the spaces that
you're in with that energy, italso unlocks opportunities.
Yeah, because then peoplegravitate towards like, okay,
you're really invested in thiswork, you're really invested in
living out that mission of whatit is that you're involved.
Invested in this work, you'rereally invested in in living out
that mission of what it is thatyou're involved in, right, and
(19:23):
then people gravitate towardsthat.
That's true.
So I I that's such an amazingstory and kudos to your family
member for thank you reallyembracing that.
Like happenstance, growthmindset and positive energy um
cycle that has clearly led themto success.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
Yeah, you know, one of the other things that I can
tell you when it comes to thisidea of Purpose Harmony is
sometimes we want to do it allalone, yeah, and we want to go
through this journeyindependently and figure it out
all on our own.
And you know, tough rocksbecause you're gonna need your
(20:03):
community to do this and, ascounselors, I think we really
encourage people to surroundthemselves around others who
want to uplift them, empowerthem and see them climb the
ladder and really holistically,find out who they are.
But you do need a community.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Absolutely.
I mean, everything comes fromother people, right?
So whether it's a newopportunity, whether you're
learning something justconnecting with other people,
they may give you even somethingto think about that you haven't
thought about before.
Right, I was actually listeningto another podcast, the Mel
Robbins podcast, and she had JayShetty on her show and they
(20:43):
were talking about purpose aswell, and they were talking
about asking people in yourcommunity to essentially help
you figure out what your purposeis.
So, asking people, what is itthat you think of when you think
of me?
What are some descriptive words?
Or what are times when you'vestruggled and you've thought of
me as like, oh, I could be veryhelpful in this situation?
(21:06):
So even in those types ofconversations, your community
can be a mirror for you right Tohelp you gain some clarity.
But it could also be to unlocknew opportunities.
We've talked about networkingon this show I don't know how
many times at this point andwe've we've shared statistics,
(21:26):
data 85% of opportunities arearen't even posted anywhere, if
we're talking traditional jobsand so forth.
So your community can be thatspace where you get referrals,
you opportunities, and it canalso just be a mirror for you to
reflect and figure out howpeople see you, what talents
they see in you, becausesometimes we have blind spots.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
Yeah, I'm just soaking that in because I know
like each of us have gotten towhere we are through community.
It's through the people aroundus that have uplifted us into
these spaces and have seen thosepockets of greatness I should
say that have given us a chanceto unlock that or pushed us in a
certain direction that reallyjust allowed us to get closer to
(22:14):
our sense of purpose or liveout our sense of purpose too.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
Oh my gosh, absolutely.
Had I not gotten feedback aboutlike being a good presenter
back in grad school?
Who knows, I may never haveeven had the courage to offer
workshops and speakingengagements to careerize, but
it's through my communityreflecting back talents that
they were seeing in me that Ididn't see in myself because of
(22:39):
my own limiting beliefs, right?
So that's just one smallexample of your community being
being a mirror for you.
I love that.
Yeah, one thing I also reallywant to acknowledge in finding
your purpose is that you've gotto take risks too, because you
can certainly find your purposein your current situation and
(23:03):
the work that you're doing andthe roles that you currently
have, but you can also take bigrisks depending on who you are,
depending on what, what's goingon in your life right now.
There's so many people that Ican think of who have taken a
big risk when they've foundalignment with something and you
know it's a risk you don't knowif you're going to succeed at
(23:25):
it or how it's going to go, butknowing that this is something
that's really speaking to theirsoul, and willing to risk
everything to get there I thinka lot of entrepreneurs are in
that, in a in alignment or inagreement with you, because they
sometimes risk it all.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Right, they leave what they know and what they're
comfortable with and go out andstart something, a new adventure
, without fully understanding orseeing the big picture or the
end result.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
Yeah, yeah, that's my husband as one example.
He chose to leave his job theyear we had a baby, so imagine
that.
A new baby and you all canimagine that already our life
was very different and financialcommitment that comes with that
(24:15):
.
But he was in alignment withhis purpose and he had figured
out that he wants to be acreator and offer his talents
and creativity to supportcommunities and children and be
in creative spaces where he canhave a positive impact in those
(24:37):
areas.
So he decided to leave and Iwas completely supportive
because I was like yes, I'm acareer counselor and I encourage
you to follow your talents,follow your dreams, completely
not knowing what that's going tolook like.
But here we are.
He did it, he's doing it.
He's creating multiple thingsin the crypto space, within
(24:59):
children's books and many otherthings that he's working on.
So super proud of him.
But he is a prime example ofsomebody who reflected on what
it is that he wants to offerthis world and what his
motivation is for the work thathe does, and then he decided to
take a risk so he can actuallydo that.
Speaker 2 (25:20):
Yeah, and I know for some of our listeners they may
be thinking like why I justcan't just quit my job and just
do whatever it is Right, and Ithink that definitely comes with
a lot of like planning, rightI'm sure you guys talked about
it beforehand Plan.
There's, like you said,financial commitments and things
like this.
But I think Armani is alsogetting to the point that risks
can be big, like your husbands,but they can also be smaller too
(25:42):
, right.
And just because they're smalldoesn't mean that they don't
have enough significance as abig risk.
A risk can be you asking for adifferent project.
A risk can be you connectingwith people because maybe that
puts you out of your comfortzone.
A risk can be you learning anew skill or trying out a
different job or applying for adifferent role.
(26:03):
Risks are come in all shapesand sizes.
So definitely if you want tospice things up and see if your
purpose is still in alignment.
risk it.
Do something, Try something.
Speaker 1 (26:15):
Thank you so much for listening.
If you enjoy our show, we askthat you write a review on Apple
Podcasts to help us reach morepeople looking to level up their
career Want to connect with us.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
More people looking to level up their career Want to
connect with us.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Be sure to follow our Instagrams and websites.
Follow Career Rise on Instagramfor career advice and
motivation.
To help you stay up to date onall things career.
Be sure to also visit mywebsite, careerriseorg, to book
a career counseling package andaccess free career resources.
My goal is to help you clarifyyour goals, make a plan and feel
(26:49):
confident in your careerjourney.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
You can follow me on Instagram at
CareerConfidentLatina for yourdaily dose of career advice and
my journey as a first-generationLatina counselor.
You can access free resourcesor even work with me by visiting
my website,careerconfidenceonline.
I want to help you grow yourconfidence and help you reach
your career dreams.
(27:12):
Adios.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.