December 15, 2025 • 47 mins
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We explore why negative emotions stick, how to read their message, and how to release them with simple breath and mindset tools. A candid anxiety story anchors practical steps, from stacked and box breathing to parts work and refilling the space with calm.
• solstice as a symbol for shedding and renewal
• why the mind clings to negative emotions
• awareness versus attention as a practical reframe
• stacked breathing to move emotion and reduce intensity
• box breathing to engage the parasympathetic system
• extracting the message from fear and anxiety
• distinguishing emotions from bodily feelings
• quick parts work to comfort younger self
• pull it out of the body, forgive, and let‑go visualization
• filling the void with light and nature
• building habits that make the mind an ally
• course updates on emotions and meditations
We hope this helps a little as you go through your day.
We would love to hear your feedback or questions.
We will respond to both in future episodes.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:08):
We are on the line.
SPEAKER_03 (00:10):
Once we get close to the shortest day of the year
because the moon is still in thesky and it's still pretty dark
out there.
SPEAKER_00 (00:17):
It is.
But we're almost at the 21st.
Where it will all switch around.
SPEAKER_03 (00:23):
Almost?
SPEAKER_00 (00:24):
Yeah, it's only six days away.
unknown (00:26):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03 (00:28):
I guess it's a lot closer then.
So that means sort of like it'sone garbage day okay.
Yeah.
You gotta think, okay, so howmany more days like this or or
with less like than I think?
Okay, well that's 12 days.
Or six days away, that's 12days.
So in the next 14 days, I'mgonna notice things getting
(00:49):
better.
That's a judgment.
That's a judgment, isn't it?
I mean, it's just like if itmeans nothing, it's neither good
nor bad.
What we choose, what we prefer.
I prefer long days.
I love June 21st.
Those are my preferences.
But I could still love December21st.
SPEAKER_00 (01:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (01:12):
Well, it's a very important day, December 21st,
because you know what that's thereason we have Christmas at
Christmas, right?
It celebrates the the return ofthe sun.
Yeah, most historians would tellyou pretty clearly that wasn't
his actual birthday.
But that was a that was a nicesymbolic way of incorporating
what was then a Roman holiday ofthe return of the sun.
(01:35):
But it's a very important timeof year.
I think it's gonna be veryimportant this year.
I have uh seen so many bothpractical and psychic
predictions that the next fewweeks are going to be
significant in the lives ofhuman beings.
SPEAKER_00 (01:53):
Three eye atlas is gonna be at its closest
business.
SPEAKER_03 (01:57):
Yes, it is.
Exciting to waves.
Make sure you wave.
SPEAKER_00 (02:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:02):
Do you see me?
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's only, you know, millions oflight, or not lighting or miles
away.
SPEAKER_03 (02:09):
I don't know.
It's a long way away compared toyou like going to the store or
something.
unknown (02:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:18):
But yeah, it's an interesting time of year.
And so as the days get shorterand then start to get longer,
and we're moving from thedecrease of light to the
increase of light, I think it'simportant to talk about
releasing.
Releasing, I think one of thethings that we struggle with, I
struggle with, I haven't metsomebody who doesn't struggle
(02:40):
with it, but maybe I justhaven't met enough people.
You know, releasing negativeemotions.
There's this funny phenomenonI've noticed, which is it is
amazing how quickly we canexperience a positive emotion
and then let it go becausesomething negative happens.
(03:03):
And how long we cling tonegative emotions, how we can
really allow that old JoeDispenza idea that an emotion
hung onto becomes a mood, and amood that's hung on to becomes
an attitude, and an attitudethat's hung on to becomes a
personality, and that the mindis this very habitual thing.
(03:26):
And if we're in the practice ofhanging on to negative emotions,
we're going to be hard-pressedto expect something really
positive to flow from that.
And so I think that the idea,the practice, the techniques you
can use to release negativeemotions and rebound and respond
(03:46):
quickly, um, shift your frame ofmind.
I think that's a talent that wecould all develop.
It's an ability that we couldall really work on and turn into
a habit.
And yeah, it starts with thatold refrain, right?
I am not my thoughts, I am thethinker.
I can choose what I think.
SPEAKER_00 (04:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (04:05):
What are you doing on your phone?
SPEAKER_00 (04:07):
I'm looking up.
I wanted to talk about somethingquickly here, and so I'm looking
it up so I don't mess it up.
SPEAKER_03 (04:13):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00 (04:17):
I'm just chatting with friends.
SPEAKER_03 (04:20):
I was wondering.
SPEAKER_00 (04:21):
I'm just posting on Facebook.
SPEAKER_03 (04:23):
I was wondering.
SPEAKER_00 (04:24):
Oh my.
Yeah, I found it reallyinteresting how 2026 is the year
of the fire horse.
Fire horse.
Yeah, so this year was the yearof the snake and doing the day's
word.
Now that's later on.
(04:46):
If I'm on my phone while it's apodcast, I'm looking something
up to talk about.
So it's the year of the firehorse coming up, and it's also a
year 10.
And what I learned the other dayabout year 10, and I just wanted
to be really confident with it,it is it's first of all, it is
about letting go, it's aboutbeginnings, and it represents
(05:10):
energy, independence, andadventure.
And I think a lot of people I'vebeen speaking to, they are
letting go of things.
I mean, we're gonna talk aboutemotions here, but just like
we've been going through andpeople we know have been going
through, that it is it does feellike sort of a wrapping up of
(05:31):
things, right?
We're in I think we're in year,we'd be in year one uh nine
right now.
And so sort of this this bigletting go of things and then
starting, starting anew.
SPEAKER_03 (05:46):
Cool.
So the trick is getting rid ofthe old stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (05:49):
Yeah, getting rid of the old stuff.
I hope I'm saying that properly,but anyway, look it up.
Oh, here we go in the chat.
Okay, I love it.
Yes, we're you're in the year ofthe snake right now, shedding,
shedding the past, sheddingstuff.
Horse is charging forward.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (06:08):
Could you imagine what your life would be like if
you embraced some of these ideasand they became your habits?
Right?
If it became your habit thatthrough the past year, that it's
the year of the snake, and I'mgonna embrace that idea and I'm
gonna shed.
And so every time somethingcomes upon me that becomes
frustrating or not helpful, orin some way or another, feeling
(06:30):
like you're just done with it,that you could turn to that
beautiful metaphor of shedding,shedding your skin, knowing that
that's the symbol of growth,right?
SPEAKER_02 (06:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (06:42):
And embrace all those things that way.
I mean, as a neat little mentalexercise, every time something
comes to you that representssomething like that, to just
embrace that thought for alittle bit and just imagine
yourself shedding somethingaway.
I'm done with that, I've grownpast that, I'm not interested in
(07:03):
that.
To be able to just take some ofthese little ideas and choose to
think about them, choose to usethem in your mind, right?
Yeah, releasing.
I I wanted to talk about a bunchof different things about
releasing.
And uh I know that that I knowthat you have become really good
(07:24):
with your clients with this.
So we'll I'll let you talk aboutyour techniques.
But I wanted to talk about theidea of positive emotion or a
negative emotion, right?
And uh a positive emotion is onethat we don't really cling to.
A positive emotion is one thatcomes upon us.
We we could talk about happinessas a good example.
(07:47):
The science has really shownthat happiness is an emotion,
it's not a state of being.
You can maintain that emotion,you can cling to that emotion,
it's the result of thingsgetting better.
Happiness is the natural stateof things getting better.
Now, things can get better inreally easy ways, right?
You can sit down and grabyourself a nice fresh cup of
(08:10):
coffee, boom, happiness comes toyou because the situation you're
in has just improved.
Now I'm not just sitting lookingat the lake, I'm sitting looking
at the lake, drinking abeautiful coffee, right?
It can be really subtle, it canbe really small, but it's an
emotion that comes upon you.
And we treat it as the messagethat it is.
(08:31):
Things have gotten better.
And because we understand it,because we see it as temporary,
because we try to, we we can tryto cling to it, we can enjoy it
for the whole of that time thatwe're having a cup of coffee.
The opposite is, you know, wehave a negative experience,
something that we would say wedon't want, we don't prefer, and
(08:55):
it generates a negative emotion,whether that's fear or anger or
resentment or frustration.
These two are temporary, thesetwo are transient, these two are
meant to sort of send a message,motivate us to make a change,
and then let them go.
And yet, for some reason, Ithink our programming is such,
(09:18):
and this we've been talkingabout this now for days and
days, is that we just have thisreally intense childhood
programming of be careful, watchout, right?
Be cautious, anticipate thenegative, yeah, right.
And I believe that that is theprogramming that's inside us
(09:42):
that causes us to cling tonegative emotions, and then that
stinking confirmation bias getsin, right?
We have beliefs, we have a wayof viewing things, and like I
said, we've got this incrediblyintense, negative, fearful
upbringing that says, watch out,look out, the world's crazy,
(10:04):
people are not to be trusted,systems are meant to hurt you,
watch out, right?
And that causes us to have itconfirmed to us when we have a
negative emotion.
See, I told you, right?
See, I told you, I told you theworld's crap, I told you things
are scary, I told you to watchout, I told you this would
happen, right?
(10:25):
It's one of the worst thingsI've ever heard.
I told you that would happen.
But what it does is it's aconfirmation bias.
We tend to find the things thatconfirm our biases, and then we
rethink them because they'remental habits.
And so being so aware thatwhat's going on in my mind is a
(10:46):
habit.
I just think that's just a hugetool to just lock in on and just
be aware.
What's going on in my mind is ahabit, and it doesn't have to be
that way.
I can change this habit.
I can come up with a differenthabit.
So I think that first of all,there's this idea that we cling
to the negative versus notclinging to the positive.
(11:06):
And so this is the process thatwe're going through in the
school.
It's a course that we're thatI'm teaching in the school about
emotions, what they are, whatthey mean, how to get rid of
them, how to allow them to befunctionally helpful and not
become functionally problematic.
And yeah, hopefully we'll getthe third lesson up this week
and we'll get some meditationsup there today.
(11:27):
The point is that for me, what'swhat's really important here is
to know that emotions aretransient and you don't need to
hang on to.
And this is the difference, inmy opinion, between awareness
and attention.
Awareness is exactly that.
Oh, look, there's frustration.
(11:50):
That's that old Buddhisttechnique of being aware of your
emotions, but not being youremotion, right?
It's not I am frustrated,because that's claiming it.
That's saying it's mine.
No wonder you're gonna cling toit and it's gonna stay with you
because you're claiming it asyou, I am, versus, oh look,
there's frustration.
SPEAKER_02 (12:11):
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03 (12:12):
That's awareness.
Attention is replaying in yourmind over and over why you're
frustrated, right?
Now I put my attention on it,and this is what keeps
happening, and this is whatalways happens, and this happens
so many times.
It happened the first time whenI was two months old.
And if a hypnotist would comealong and regress me to it, we
could find it.
But the point is, is this hasbeen going on in me all my life,
(12:35):
over and over and over and overand over and over.
And I'm gonna give it myattention, I'm gonna focus on
it, I'm gonna analyze it, I'mgonna think about it, and I'm
gonna see it as something that'sinside me.
I'm gonna see it as mine, I'mgonna see it as who I am, right?
And with all the good intentionthat's behind that, there's
nothing useful about that.
(12:56):
There's nothing helpful aboutthat.
The sum total of the effort youshould put into being frustrated
is thinking up something else totry.
I'm frustrated, and that's asign that says this isn't
working.
Right?
That's the only reason you'refeeling frustration is because
(13:18):
you're emotionally tellingyourself, this is not working.
Well, it's good to be aware ofthat.
It's not good to try to figureit out.
Just try something else.
SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (13:31):
Try something else.
And when you immediately move onto trying something else, the
frustration dissipates andyou're on to the next idea.
Now, sometimes it's hard to comeup with something else.
We could talk about that, butthe point that I'm getting at is
the emotion is bringing amessage.
The message is really clear.
You can cling to the emotion oryou can act on the message.
(13:53):
So that's that's the firstreally big idea to bring about.
And I knew you were writingstuff down, so I'll be quiet for
a while.
SPEAKER_00 (13:59):
Oh, just writing down what you were saying.
SPEAKER_03 (14:03):
I can notes.
So, what are your thoughts?
SPEAKER_00 (14:09):
Yeah, like I've, as you guys know, I like to give
examples, and really the onlydetailed example I can do is
myself.
And that's okay.
I don't mind talking aboutmyself if it helps people.
So yeah, like I as you'retalking, I'm thinking about the
last week or so for me.
And I haven't been going throughfrustration, maybe a little bit,
(14:33):
but like mostly anxiety.
And I can I can I can completelysee, and and I've been here I
usually sometimes I get hereabout once a year, once every
two years, where I have thisreally strong anxiety that
happens.
And I can completely see whypeople go to the doctor and get
(14:54):
medication.
But I try my hardest to see itas temporary.
And I noticed yesterday, soyesterday I spent the day with
my girlfriend.
We went out shopping, we wentout to have grabbed snacks and
lunch and breakfast, and wespent literally the whole day
(15:15):
together.
And then we watched a movie.
But as soon as I left her house,driving down the road, anxiety,
panic, I don't even know, hit meagain.
And I was trying to think, like,what are what were you thinking
when this hit?
You know, like what was the whatwas going on in your mind?
(15:35):
And recently it's been all, youknow, all the things about
moving, letting go.
I worry about our dog tyke, likeprobably way more than anyone
should.
But uh or you know, I worryabout things that just shouldn't
be worried about with her.
So I try to, in my mind, have asense of control, you know.
(16:01):
Oh, what's going on?
And and so that doesn't work.
I'm in a time of life right nowwhere I I'm really having to let
go of all control, the illusionof control, anyway, that I think
I've had so far.
And it's scary.
(16:23):
It's scary.
And I have to really keepbringing myself back to breath
work and imagining like this istemporary.
But at the same time, I'mthinking, okay, well, how
temporary is it?
Because, like, how long is itgonna take to sell the house?
And will I think about this andfeel this until the house sells
and all this stuff comes, youknow, this tsunami comes into my
(16:46):
mind.
And so I think that's why I'mfinding myself like just uh this
last week at least, just on edgeevery day and breaking down
every day.
Uh and yeah, so uh I I thinkwhat you're saying is something
that I'm really going throughright now at the moment is
having to be aware that this ishappening in my body and just
(17:15):
trying to know, like in thepast, when I've done it said,
you know, to myself over andover and over this is temporary,
but there's a there's a bigger,it seems, there's a bigger drive
in my mind right now to try tofigure this out.
And that brings my attention toit, right?
(17:37):
You have to figure this out, youhave to be in have some sort of
control here.
You have, you know, all thoseold illusions that come up.
So yeah, that's that's sort ofwhat I'm going through right
now.
And even if I as I talk aboutit, I've got major anxiety right
now, you know?
(17:57):
Yay!
SPEAKER_03 (17:59):
So to be aware of that is to be aware that that
emotion is bringing you amessage.
Fear is a warning, not a wall.
And you're seeking to protectyourself from some perceived
future problem.
And if you calm yourself withjust a simple breath, and we'll
(18:21):
talk about that in a second, youmight actually find that what
you're most accurately afraid ofcan be isolated in your mind.
Now, breath is a fantastictechnique to deal with emotion.
And so the first breathingtechnique I would tell you, if
you're dealing in fear or you'redealing in sadness, you're
(18:42):
dealing in anxiety, a firstreally good breathing technique
is called stacked breathing.
Stacked breathing mimics crying.
And crying is just about one ofthe most wonderful releasing
things you can do.
You know, tears mean truth,which means you're right on the
edge of understanding.
So to allow that to flow throughyou is probably going to lead
(19:03):
you to understanding it.
So a stacked breath is to takein a normal breath, but then
before you exhale, right on topof it, you take in another big
breath.
So it's kind of like I'm surethat'll come through the
microphone just fine.
Um the the idea is that you'reyou're taking in a normal breath
(19:30):
and then take in another normalbreath on top of it, and then
let that all flow out.
And for most people, the firsttime they do that, they feel
that kind of a jagged exhalethat sort of they they feel it
catch.
And that's quite literally theemotion coming.
That's the emotion coming out.
For some people, the emotionsare so intense right now that
(19:52):
they can't sort them out, theycan't, they can't spend time
simply observing it.
They they can't.
Can't see past the physicalnature of it.
Emotions can be so intense thatthey become feelings.
Talk about that in a second.
But that stacked breathingtechnique is a great way to turn
(20:12):
down the gauge, turn down thedial, get the emotion moving
through you so that you canengage it with less fixation and
more observation.
It's the observation that'sgoing to help you.
It's not the fixation on theemotion.
(20:32):
It's the observation of theemotion followed by the allowing
of its message to come forwardthat's going to help you.
It's not the emotion itself,right?
It's like imagine a controlpanel that has a red light, and
underneath it is a pan, a wordpanel that's going to flash up a
(20:54):
message.
The red light comes on and wefocus on the red light and we
keep our eyes on the red lightwhen really the red light should
come on as a way of getting ourattention to read what's come up
on the panel.
Right?
But if we're going to focus onthe red light, we're going to
get blinded.
We're not going to see thepanel.
We're going to get reallyabsorbed into the flashing light
and whatever noise comes alongwith it.
(21:16):
But what it is, it's sayingthere's a message here.
And then taking the time to tryto understand the message.
Oh, look, there's a red light.
What's the message?
That's like, oh, look, there'sfear.
What's the message?
And this is something we have topractice.
This is something we have to getgood at.
And this kind of breathing helpsturn down the tone on the light.
(21:38):
It quiets the noise, the hornthat comes with the warning.
And it gives you an opportunityto observe the emotion.
And, you know, fear in all itsforms, anxiety.
You know, the problem withanxiety is it's a bunch of fears
probably stacked on top of eachother.
And it's going to take a certainamount of releasing of the
(22:00):
emotion to be able to startrecognizing the messages.
And that that too can becomehabit.
That too can become really atalent to not respond to
emotions.
And we have all kinds ofexamples in that.
You know, I have Pat, mybrothers and sisters who are
firefighters, who are police,who are emergently emergency
(22:21):
medical techs, right?
Like what they do is quiteliterally take the emotion out
of a situation and make ittotally impersonal so that they
can respond.
Because whatever situationthey're responding to, it's
scary.
It's just plain scary.
And they have this practicedability to lower their emotion
(22:46):
quickly and be practical withresponse.
And they practice that and theytrain for that and they work
really hard on that.
They work really hard to knowwhat to do without having to
think about it.
And they replace, they use thoseemotions to trigger all these
habitual behaviors that they doso well.
And, you know, uh, and I say tothem, the ones that that suffer
(23:10):
are the ones that don't know howto release those emotions later.
They don't know how to be awareof them and release them later,
and then they build up, andthat's the kind of horrible
stuff they go through.
And this is where we let themdown by not training them in
this, by not training them howto release emotions, because
they're still always just humanbeings, courageous human beings.
Anyway, with that said, sooftentimes that breathing
(23:32):
technique will bring the bringthe gear it right down, we'll
bring it right down and put itin the realm of, oh, there is
this emotion.
What does that emotion mean?
As we're sitting there, I'mwatching you do it.
Thoughts?
SPEAKER_00 (23:45):
Yeah, I've come down since talking.
I noticed something that happenswhen my clients go through the
same thing, when I take themthrough the same thing.
So as I'm asking the emotion,what's the message?
The message is you are safe.
And that happens with myclients, right?
(24:07):
And it's all it always seems tobe a night a nice message, a
supporting message.
But then my next question is,well, why do you suck so much?
Like, why is it so bad?
And the next message is kind ofhard to hear right now, but it's
something to do with uh sort ofwhat I was talking about earlier
(24:29):
about this sense of you know,not feeling can control and
feeling like, oh, you know, thethe image that comes to mind
right now is me slipping on ice,almost like everything's being
pulled out underneath me.
And I know it's on purpose.
I'm not slipping on ice, youknow, because I want because you
(24:50):
know, the rug's being pulled outunderneath me.
But I know that what what we'redoing right now in life is is
intentional, but it's stillscary AF.
I don't think I can use badwords on the podcast.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_03 (25:09):
Yeah.
Anyway.
Well, we don't want to be thatkind of podcast.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (25:12):
So let's let's shift now to something called they
call it box breathing, foursquare breathing, four by four
breathing.
There's lots of names for it,but what it is, is just
controlled breathing.
And it's the kind of breathingthat requires your attention.
So now you're shifting yourattention away from what you
(25:34):
perceive to be problematic,whatever it is, and you're
putting your attention on yourbreathing.
Now, what makes this just, youknow, why should you do it?
You should do it because this ishow they train uh the service
people.
Uh, you know, that the NavySEALs are famous for it, that
they quite literally drop intobox breathing as soon as they're
(25:58):
engaged.
And it's just simply breathingin which you even out the breath
in and out, and you even out thepauses in between.
You'll know naturally when youmonitor or pay attention to your
breath that there's a pause.
I call it a pause at the top.
After you breathe in, there's apause before you start breathing
out.
And the same thing after youbreathe out.
(26:20):
There's a pause before you startbreathing in.
And so what you want to do thenis have your breath coming in
match in time the amount of timeyou wait until you breathe out.
And then that matches the sameamount of time as you breathe
out, and then that matches theamount of time you wait between
breathing out and breathing in.
(26:41):
Now it doesn't have to be biglong breaths, right?
It can be shallow breathing.
But the point is that you'repaying attention, and so you use
kind of a rhythmic counting inyour mind for breathing in,
holding, breathing out, holding,breathing in, and it's matched
(27:02):
in the same amount of time.
Now, some people can reallyspread this out.
They breathe in, two, three,four, hold, two, three, four,
out, two, three, four, hold,two, three, four, in, but you
could shorten that to three.
(27:22):
In two, three, hold two, three,out, two, three, hold, two,
three.
So this is deliberate becauseyou're expanding the holds from
what they normally are, and sothat deliberate attention really
forces your sympathetic nervoussystem.
(27:43):
It almost forces it into theparasympathetic nervous system
and it calms you down.
And we did, we talked abouttechniques of relaxing last
week.
So, you know, you can use someof them.
Just being aware of yourperipheral vision, right?
Being uh expansive in your inyour hearing, listening for
things, that looking around.
(28:04):
These are the kinds of thingsthat shift your your unconscious
mind out of this reaction,reactionary mode into the
parasympathetic nervous system.
So that's another technique.
But in the end, what you want todo is you want to understand the
emotion.
(28:24):
It's got a message, and yousoften your attention on it by
being aware of it instead.
And in that awareness, you dowhat you do so well.
Just what do you mean?
What are you here for?
What are you telling me?
Yeah, what do you want me toknow?
And then you become aware ofwhat you're going through.
And becoming aware of whatyou're going through gives you
(28:46):
the ability to strategize aresponse.
It lets you say, okay, you know,this is this is shedding.
SPEAKER_00 (28:54):
Yeah, like this week.
unknown (28:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (28:57):
This is shedding.
And what's the opportunity thatcomes with that?
Right.
And so what comes here is thisidea that I I soften my
attention, I turned it intoawareness, I try to understand
it, I breathe my way through it,which is an incredible way of
lessening the feeling part,right?
(29:18):
Everybody feels emotionsdifferently.
There's commonalities.
And certainly you might findthat somebody else in the world
feels emotions the way you do,but you'll also find in the
world there are people who feelemotions differently than you
do.
SPEAKER_02 (29:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (29:32):
An emotion where the emotion meets the body is the
phrase.
That's my feeling.
And I think there's value inseparating those ideas, right?
Separating the idea by myfeelings from my emotions.
They're two different things,right?
Emotions create feelings.
Emotions are an interpretiveresponse to situations.
(29:54):
Feelings are where I experiencethat in my body.
I then respond to my body withthe easiest way are these
relaxation techniques that allowme to move away from the emotion
to observe it and understand itand come up with a strategy to
respond.
Whatever you do that isn't that,that's just a habit.
(30:19):
However, you might find yourespond to your emotions and
your feelings now, that's just ahabit.
And I think it's incrediblyempowering to see that as just a
habit that can change.
It's about practice, it's aboutusing these tools.
You've become habitual in yourexperience of these emotions,
(30:40):
and that can change.
I think that's a huge reframewhen you see it that way.
Because it's very easy to claimemotion, have a negative
emotion, say, I am angry, I amscared, I am frustrated.
It's very easy to grab thoseemotions, hold on to them, make
them part of you, focus on thefrustration part, the anger
(31:01):
part, the fear part, and not themessage, right?
Your eyes can get locked ontothat flashing red light and not
read the screen underneath itthat tells you what needs to
happen.
SPEAKER_02 (31:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (31:14):
So then comes, you know, if you've got the message,
if you've received the message,you know, and sometimes the
message is pretty clear, youknow, get the hell out of here.
This needs to stop.
SPEAKER_00 (31:25):
And that's uh it's it's it's funny because, and I
think I mentioned this the otherday in a podcast.
When we're feeling anxiety orfear, it's almost like if we
don't dive deeper and take thetime and ask what the message
is, it's very easy to getwrapped up in the feeling like
you need to run away from this.
(31:47):
It needs to stop.
And yeah, so it's it but youcan't, right?
We're we're not gonna just belike, oh well, we're just not
gonna sell the house now becausewe're full of fear.
It's just a it's not real,right?
And it doesn't just becauseyou're feeling fear and anxiety
for me so for myself, doesn'tmean it's real.
(32:10):
Does that make sense?
So like it's not just becauseI'm having those emotions or
feelings doesn't mean that it'swrong what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_03 (32:20):
Heck no.
SPEAKER_00 (32:21):
Right.
But it is easy to get caught upin that that feeling that, well,
if if I'm having these emotions,then something must be wrong.
SPEAKER_03 (32:30):
Well, and that that's really what the topic
today is really about.
How to release them.
I think there's no point,there's no value in releasing
emotions, there's no value inthese breathing techniques if
they're not leading you tounderstand your emotion.
If you're not using them to geta better understanding of your
emotion, get a betterunderstanding of your situation,
(32:53):
calming yourself so that theemotion and the feeling don't
overwhelm you.
If you're not using it for that,then it's not serving you.
These techniques are justprolonging it, really.
So you have to enter into thesetechniques with the intention of
understanding what it is, whatis the message.
I think that's really important.
(33:15):
That's a question we don't ask,right?
We we just react.
And again, those are habits.
So, with that said, now it'sabout releasing it.
Okay, I've looked at this andI've understood what I'm doing
here.
I've understood, I'munderstanding what the emotion's
message is, I'm understandingwhat I need to do so that I
don't have this emotion anymore.
(33:37):
And now I can let go of theemotion.
I don't have to keep myattention on it any longer.
You you're thinking.
SPEAKER_00 (33:47):
Yeah, I'm sitting here doing parts work uh in my
mind with myself, and I'm sureit's layered, but what came up
was my little self.
And it's it it it's funnybecause I didn't think at the
time I I to think back, I think,oh well, I was too young to
really feel much, but I rememberfeeling it.
(34:10):
When I was young, my houseburned down and I lost
everything.
And for some reason that came upwhen I was feeling the anxiety,
and maybe it is part of that.
There's a little me that's like,well, am I losing everything?
Or like, you know, what's gonnahappen?
I don't know.
(34:30):
I think that's worth unpacking.
SPEAKER_03 (34:32):
I think everybody should be really grateful.
You're proving how you can movethrough this stuff, right?
You're doing this live on air.
The exactly the stuff we'retalking about by allowing
yourself to move through theemotion into an understanding,
you're able to then use simplemind techniques of saying, well,
(34:55):
where does this come from?
And it's it's quite effective.
You know, we're gonna do acourse on self-hypnosis, but the
truth is you can release anawful lot in the state of, well,
in an alpha or a theta state.
So, so think about it this way.
If you were to experience anemotion that is overwhelming,
(35:18):
and allow yourself to be awareof the emotion, but separate
yourself from it.
There is this emotion, and thenuse some breathing techniques to
decrease the amount that it'scompelling you, and then ask it,
what's your message?
And you'll get a message, andthen you ask it, where did you
come from?
And you will quite literally beregressing yourself.
(35:41):
Because when you drop into thatkind of emotional state, you are
very much in your subconsciousmind, very much in your
unconscious mind.
And that's where you can programyourself.
And then when you say, Where didthis come from?
And you say, Wow, I hadn'tthought about that in a while,
there I was.
And I guess I'm having similarfeelings as I had when I was
(36:04):
there.
And now is your chance to giveyourself, because you're always
already deep in trance, now isyour chance to give yourself a
positive message.
I am safe.
I survived that.
One of my favorite techniques inhypnosis is just to bring in the
present-day self to sit besidethe young self that went through
it.
(36:24):
And imagine yourself sittingthere beside your little self
and telling your little selfit's going to be okay.
You're going to have a reallygreat life.
Yes, you've lost a lot, but youwill move on and you will
experience a whole lot more.
You will have so much more.
And you'll start to realize thatyour happiness doesn't matter on
things, it doesn't matter onhomes.
(36:47):
And you can even give yourselfanother message like I am my own
home.
SPEAKER_02 (36:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (36:53):
Right.
And so you can do this withyourself very, very easily.
You don't have to be a trainedhypnotist, you just have to
understand what's going on inyour own mind.
And that's that's the purpose ofthe podcast, right?
We're doing everything we can totry to help people understand
what's going on in their mindwith their mind.
(37:14):
So now we get to move on to Iunderstand where this is coming
from.
I am safe.
I know what I need to do.
The emotion will already startto dissipate.
And now, how do we release it?
How do we get rid of thatemotion?
Because we need to release it.
We need to say, okay, I'm donewith you.
I got your message.
(37:34):
It's time to move on.
SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
Yeah.
Excuse me.
When it comes to releasing,there's a a lovely technique
where I've I've spoken about itnumerous times on the podcast,
but just to break it down, trymy best to break it down into
really detailed ways.
(37:56):
Notice where you have thatfeeling attached to the emotion
in the body.
And imagine or get a sense thatyou are grasping onto that
emotion, feeling, and sort ofpulling it out of the body,
(38:19):
right?
You're pulling it out.
Sometimes the idea I give peopleis that you are a light body,
right?
That's your n that's youroriginal self, the light body.
And when we come into thesehuman forms, thought form can
(38:41):
can become dense.
But because it's dense, it doesnot, it can't really attach to
your light body.
It's just sort of stuck in thehuman body.
And so with that, you can graspit because it's dense.
And so you grasp it and you haulit out of the body, put it out
(39:01):
there in front of you, notice itout there in front of you.
And when you get a sense thatit's out there in front of you,
become a have that awarenessthat it's out there in front of
you.
And then as a secondary step toreally, really notice that it's
not actually part of the body,let's say, is to give it form.
(39:25):
What does that look like outthere?
Ah, it's a blob, or it's oh mygosh, the things that people
notice out there, chains,bricks, oil, blob, many blobs,
mist, fog.
It can be anything.
And there's no right or wrongabout it, right?
(39:46):
There's no good or bad.
It just is.
So notice what it might looklike, or notice what you sense
it is.
And when it's out there, I liketo I like to Ask people to
forgive it if they're open toforgiving it, right?
I understand you know this iswhere it's coming from.
(40:08):
I send forgiveness to you and tome, kind of thing.
SPEAKER_03 (40:13):
Thank you for the message.
SPEAKER_00 (40:14):
Thank you for the message.
Thank you.
And then depending on what it islinked to, I'll say, like if
it's a handed down beliefsystem, then we pass it back.
But let's say we're just focusedon the emotions right now.
You get a sense that the justthe universe is taking it, or
(40:37):
how do you want to see thatreleased?
Some people see it dissipating,disagre, disintegrating in front
of them into the air or youknow, the environment.
Some people see big hands comingin and taking it.
I've seen or I've had clientssee a vacuum, a big vacuum come
(40:58):
and vacuum it up.
And what's coming to me is justnot to be angry with it, just to
know that it was just a messageand it was trying to get your
attention.
And to to to definitely just letit go and forgive it.
Did I cover everything?
There's there's so many thingsthat could happen in that that I
(41:20):
was trying to take like the theshortest, you know, A to B line
there.
But because as you know, it canbe it can go into parts work, it
can go everywhere and anywhere.
So that's that's the easiest, Ithink, straightest line that you
can do.
SPEAKER_03 (41:38):
And this was the idea actually that I wanted to
convey when I first thought thiswould be a good topic, and that
is that the mind does not like avoid.
So now that you have softenedyour awareness, lightened the
emotional response, understoodthe emotion, taken that emotion
(42:01):
now, and instead of clinging toit, putting it out in front of
you and allowing it to go, it'simportant to realize that the
mind and then the ethereal bodydoes not want to be left in a
void, in a vacuum.
And you need to then fill thatspace with something very
helpful.
SPEAKER_02 (42:22):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (42:22):
So awareness, softening of attention, helping
the body, understanding themessage, understanding what
needs to happen, understandingwhere it came from.
It's amazing what you can do foryourself in your own mind.
And this is to me so important.
You know, this is some of thebest hypnosis work I've ever
(42:45):
done, I've done to myselfbecause I just understand that
I've come to understand betterhow to use my mind for my own
purposes.
So, with all of that said, nowwe have a release.
And now breathe, continue yourbreathing, and this is where you
would do deep breathing.
(43:06):
Deep breathing now becomes a wayof filling you.
And one of the best, most simpletechniques, I've taught this to
a few people, and they justthink it's marvelous.
I I thought it was marvelouswhen I learned it, is just to
simply breathe in light.
Whatever color means peace toyou, often blue or white, and
(43:27):
take nice deep breaths of thatlight.
And now you're filling up thespace that was left.
And it might take a few breathsto do that.
But when you become aware thatyou've now filled yourself up,
you filled that empty space upwith the white light, and you're
now your awareness is all aboutthat beautiful light.
(43:50):
When you feel like you're full,continue breathing and start
sharing it.
So your inhale is to take it in,and your exhale is to share it
with the world around you.
Oftentimes these intenseemotions involve somebody else,
another person.
And they might be the mostperfect person to focus on and
(44:11):
sharing it.
Breathing in, filling yourselfup, having it flow through you
and breathing it out and sharingit with the world, with specific
people, with your space.
It's now very, very calming,very, very releasing.
You've understood what thisemotion wants you to do.
(44:32):
You've understood why thatemotion came up.
And now you can release thatemotion and be clear.
You can do that with light.
You can do that just with yourbreath, just the breath energy.
You can imagine light, whateverlight you want.
You can sit in nature and takein nature's energy.
(44:52):
You know, you know, there'sthere's tree huggers out there,
right?
Sit by a tree and take in thetree's energy.
I love to sit by the water,that's why we live here.
Take in the water's energy, takein the bird's energy, take in
the sounds of whateverenvironment you're in, take in
that energy, fill that spacethat you've now emptied from an
(45:15):
emotion that you haven't beenable to move through easily.
So don't leave a void, becausethen the mind falls back into
habit.
The mind will go back tothinking that thought again.
SPEAKER_00 (45:25):
Well, what did you say even before?
The mind doesn't like a void.
Yeah, it wants to fill it.
It wants to think like the dog,two in the bone.
SPEAKER_03 (45:33):
There you go.
Yeah.
So what do you think of that?
SPEAKER_00 (45:37):
Like it sounds good.
Sounds great, says the chat.
Right?
Easy.
SPEAKER_03 (45:46):
Easy is when you get it's something that we don't get
taught, and that if we're reallylucky at some point in our
lives, we're having such acrisis that we're gonna get
taught this.
If we're really lucky, we bumpinto somebody, whether it's a
counselor or a friend or ahypnotist who helps us to get a
(46:12):
grasp on our own mind.
SPEAKER_02 (46:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (46:15):
That's you know, my biggest goal, how to teach
people to have their mind betheir ally, how to use their
mind to make their life betterand not feel so subject, so
controlled, so tortured by theirown mind.
SPEAKER_00 (46:29):
Yeah, absolutely.
So thank you for hanging out,everyone.
The classrooms have theclassroom called emotions, and
there's two videos in thereright now.
I think you would wanted to overthe course of time there will
be, I think you mentioned eight,ten, ten.
SPEAKER_03 (46:49):
Yeah.
There's gonna be lots of them,and yeah, it's it's meant to
really sort of treat it like abit of a course where you're
going to have a lesson and thenyou're going to experience a
meditation that's going to helpthat lesson lock in, and then
we'll move on.
And so those meditations are allsketched out.
I've got to record them andupload them today.
unknown (47:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (47:08):
That's my intention.
SPEAKER_00 (47:09):
Intention.
Okay, everyone.
Well, have a good day, and umwe'll see you later.
We are on the line.
SPEAKER_03 (00:10):
Once we get close to the shortest day of the year
because the moon is still in thesky and it's still pretty dark
out there.
SPEAKER_00 (00:17):
It is.
But we're almost at the 21st.
Where it will all switch around.
SPEAKER_03 (00:23):
Almost?
SPEAKER_00 (00:24):
Yeah, it's only six days away.
unknown (00:26):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03 (00:28):
I guess it's a lot closer then.
So that means sort of like it'sone garbage day okay.
Yeah.
You gotta think, okay, so howmany more days like this or or
with less like than I think?
Okay, well that's 12 days.
Or six days away, that's 12days.
So in the next 14 days, I'mgonna notice things getting
(00:49):
better.
That's a judgment.
That's a judgment, isn't it?
I mean, it's just like if itmeans nothing, it's neither good
nor bad.
What we choose, what we prefer.
I prefer long days.
I love June 21st.
Those are my preferences.
But I could still love December21st.
SPEAKER_00 (01:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (01:12):
Well, it's a very important day, December 21st,
because you know what that's thereason we have Christmas at
Christmas, right?
It celebrates the the return ofthe sun.
Yeah, most historians would tellyou pretty clearly that wasn't
his actual birthday.
But that was a that was a nicesymbolic way of incorporating
what was then a Roman holiday ofthe return of the sun.
(01:35):
But it's a very important timeof year.
I think it's gonna be veryimportant this year.
I have uh seen so many bothpractical and psychic
predictions that the next fewweeks are going to be
significant in the lives ofhuman beings.
SPEAKER_00 (01:53):
Three eye atlas is gonna be at its closest
business.
SPEAKER_03 (01:57):
Yes, it is.
Exciting to waves.
Make sure you wave.
SPEAKER_00 (02:01):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:02):
Do you see me?
SPEAKER_00 (02:03):
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's only, you know, millions oflight, or not lighting or miles
away.
SPEAKER_03 (02:09):
I don't know.
It's a long way away compared toyou like going to the store or
something.
unknown (02:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (02:18):
But yeah, it's an interesting time of year.
And so as the days get shorterand then start to get longer,
and we're moving from thedecrease of light to the
increase of light, I think it'simportant to talk about
releasing.
Releasing, I think one of thethings that we struggle with, I
struggle with, I haven't metsomebody who doesn't struggle
(02:40):
with it, but maybe I justhaven't met enough people.
You know, releasing negativeemotions.
There's this funny phenomenonI've noticed, which is it is
amazing how quickly we canexperience a positive emotion
and then let it go becausesomething negative happens.
(03:03):
And how long we cling tonegative emotions, how we can
really allow that old JoeDispenza idea that an emotion
hung onto becomes a mood, and amood that's hung on to becomes
an attitude, and an attitudethat's hung on to becomes a
personality, and that the mindis this very habitual thing.
(03:26):
And if we're in the practice ofhanging on to negative emotions,
we're going to be hard-pressedto expect something really
positive to flow from that.
And so I think that the idea,the practice, the techniques you
can use to release negativeemotions and rebound and respond
(03:46):
quickly, um, shift your frame ofmind.
I think that's a talent that wecould all develop.
It's an ability that we couldall really work on and turn into
a habit.
And yeah, it starts with thatold refrain, right?
I am not my thoughts, I am thethinker.
I can choose what I think.
SPEAKER_00 (04:04):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (04:05):
What are you doing on your phone?
SPEAKER_00 (04:07):
I'm looking up.
I wanted to talk about somethingquickly here, and so I'm looking
it up so I don't mess it up.
SPEAKER_03 (04:13):
Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00 (04:17):
I'm just chatting with friends.
SPEAKER_03 (04:20):
I was wondering.
SPEAKER_00 (04:21):
I'm just posting on Facebook.
SPEAKER_03 (04:23):
I was wondering.
SPEAKER_00 (04:24):
Oh my.
Yeah, I found it reallyinteresting how 2026 is the year
of the fire horse.
Fire horse.
Yeah, so this year was the yearof the snake and doing the day's
word.
Now that's later on.
(04:46):
If I'm on my phone while it's apodcast, I'm looking something
up to talk about.
So it's the year of the firehorse coming up, and it's also a
year 10.
And what I learned the other dayabout year 10, and I just wanted
to be really confident with it,it is it's first of all, it is
about letting go, it's aboutbeginnings, and it represents
(05:10):
energy, independence, andadventure.
And I think a lot of people I'vebeen speaking to, they are
letting go of things.
I mean, we're gonna talk aboutemotions here, but just like
we've been going through andpeople we know have been going
through, that it is it does feellike sort of a wrapping up of
(05:31):
things, right?
We're in I think we're in year,we'd be in year one uh nine
right now.
And so sort of this this bigletting go of things and then
starting, starting anew.
SPEAKER_03 (05:46):
Cool.
So the trick is getting rid ofthe old stuff.
SPEAKER_00 (05:49):
Yeah, getting rid of the old stuff.
I hope I'm saying that properly,but anyway, look it up.
Oh, here we go in the chat.
Okay, I love it.
Yes, we're you're in the year ofthe snake right now, shedding,
shedding the past, sheddingstuff.
Horse is charging forward.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (06:08):
Could you imagine what your life would be like if
you embraced some of these ideasand they became your habits?
Right?
If it became your habit thatthrough the past year, that it's
the year of the snake, and I'mgonna embrace that idea and I'm
gonna shed.
And so every time somethingcomes upon me that becomes
frustrating or not helpful, orin some way or another, feeling
(06:30):
like you're just done with it,that you could turn to that
beautiful metaphor of shedding,shedding your skin, knowing that
that's the symbol of growth,right?
SPEAKER_02 (06:41):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (06:42):
And embrace all those things that way.
I mean, as a neat little mentalexercise, every time something
comes to you that representssomething like that, to just
embrace that thought for alittle bit and just imagine
yourself shedding somethingaway.
I'm done with that, I've grownpast that, I'm not interested in
(07:03):
that.
To be able to just take some ofthese little ideas and choose to
think about them, choose to usethem in your mind, right?
Yeah, releasing.
I I wanted to talk about a bunchof different things about
releasing.
And uh I know that that I knowthat you have become really good
(07:24):
with your clients with this.
So we'll I'll let you talk aboutyour techniques.
But I wanted to talk about theidea of positive emotion or a
negative emotion, right?
And uh a positive emotion is onethat we don't really cling to.
A positive emotion is one thatcomes upon us.
We we could talk about happinessas a good example.
(07:47):
The science has really shownthat happiness is an emotion,
it's not a state of being.
You can maintain that emotion,you can cling to that emotion,
it's the result of thingsgetting better.
Happiness is the natural stateof things getting better.
Now, things can get better inreally easy ways, right?
You can sit down and grabyourself a nice fresh cup of
(08:10):
coffee, boom, happiness comes toyou because the situation you're
in has just improved.
Now I'm not just sitting lookingat the lake, I'm sitting looking
at the lake, drinking abeautiful coffee, right?
It can be really subtle, it canbe really small, but it's an
emotion that comes upon you.
And we treat it as the messagethat it is.
(08:31):
Things have gotten better.
And because we understand it,because we see it as temporary,
because we try to, we we can tryto cling to it, we can enjoy it
for the whole of that time thatwe're having a cup of coffee.
The opposite is, you know, wehave a negative experience,
something that we would say wedon't want, we don't prefer, and
(08:55):
it generates a negative emotion,whether that's fear or anger or
resentment or frustration.
These two are temporary, thesetwo are transient, these two are
meant to sort of send a message,motivate us to make a change,
and then let them go.
And yet, for some reason, Ithink our programming is such,
(09:18):
and this we've been talkingabout this now for days and
days, is that we just have thisreally intense childhood
programming of be careful, watchout, right?
Be cautious, anticipate thenegative, yeah, right.
And I believe that that is theprogramming that's inside us
(09:42):
that causes us to cling tonegative emotions, and then that
stinking confirmation bias getsin, right?
We have beliefs, we have a wayof viewing things, and like I
said, we've got this incrediblyintense, negative, fearful
upbringing that says, watch out,look out, the world's crazy,
(10:04):
people are not to be trusted,systems are meant to hurt you,
watch out, right?
And that causes us to have itconfirmed to us when we have a
negative emotion.
See, I told you, right?
See, I told you, I told you theworld's crap, I told you things
are scary, I told you to watchout, I told you this would
happen, right?
(10:25):
It's one of the worst thingsI've ever heard.
I told you that would happen.
But what it does is it's aconfirmation bias.
We tend to find the things thatconfirm our biases, and then we
rethink them because they'remental habits.
And so being so aware thatwhat's going on in my mind is a
(10:46):
habit.
I just think that's just a hugetool to just lock in on and just
be aware.
What's going on in my mind is ahabit, and it doesn't have to be
that way.
I can change this habit.
I can come up with a differenthabit.
So I think that first of all,there's this idea that we cling
to the negative versus notclinging to the positive.
(11:06):
And so this is the process thatwe're going through in the
school.
It's a course that we're thatI'm teaching in the school about
emotions, what they are, whatthey mean, how to get rid of
them, how to allow them to befunctionally helpful and not
become functionally problematic.
And yeah, hopefully we'll getthe third lesson up this week
and we'll get some meditationsup there today.
(11:27):
The point is that for me, what'swhat's really important here is
to know that emotions aretransient and you don't need to
hang on to.
And this is the difference, inmy opinion, between awareness
and attention.
Awareness is exactly that.
Oh, look, there's frustration.
(11:50):
That's that old Buddhisttechnique of being aware of your
emotions, but not being youremotion, right?
It's not I am frustrated,because that's claiming it.
That's saying it's mine.
No wonder you're gonna cling toit and it's gonna stay with you
because you're claiming it asyou, I am, versus, oh look,
there's frustration.
SPEAKER_02 (12:11):
Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03 (12:12):
That's awareness.
Attention is replaying in yourmind over and over why you're
frustrated, right?
Now I put my attention on it,and this is what keeps
happening, and this is whatalways happens, and this happens
so many times.
It happened the first time whenI was two months old.
And if a hypnotist would comealong and regress me to it, we
could find it.
But the point is, is this hasbeen going on in me all my life,
(12:35):
over and over and over and overand over and over.
And I'm gonna give it myattention, I'm gonna focus on
it, I'm gonna analyze it, I'mgonna think about it, and I'm
gonna see it as something that'sinside me.
I'm gonna see it as mine, I'mgonna see it as who I am, right?
And with all the good intentionthat's behind that, there's
nothing useful about that.
(12:56):
There's nothing helpful aboutthat.
The sum total of the effort youshould put into being frustrated
is thinking up something else totry.
I'm frustrated, and that's asign that says this isn't
working.
Right?
That's the only reason you'refeeling frustration is because
(13:18):
you're emotionally tellingyourself, this is not working.
Well, it's good to be aware ofthat.
It's not good to try to figureit out.
Just try something else.
SPEAKER_02 (13:30):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (13:31):
Try something else.
And when you immediately move onto trying something else, the
frustration dissipates andyou're on to the next idea.
Now, sometimes it's hard to comeup with something else.
We could talk about that, butthe point that I'm getting at is
the emotion is bringing amessage.
The message is really clear.
You can cling to the emotion oryou can act on the message.
(13:53):
So that's that's the firstreally big idea to bring about.
And I knew you were writingstuff down, so I'll be quiet for
a while.
SPEAKER_00 (13:59):
Oh, just writing down what you were saying.
SPEAKER_03 (14:03):
I can notes.
So, what are your thoughts?
SPEAKER_00 (14:09):
Yeah, like I've, as you guys know, I like to give
examples, and really the onlydetailed example I can do is
myself.
And that's okay.
I don't mind talking aboutmyself if it helps people.
So yeah, like I as you'retalking, I'm thinking about the
last week or so for me.
And I haven't been going throughfrustration, maybe a little bit,
(14:33):
but like mostly anxiety.
And I can I can I can completelysee, and and I've been here I
usually sometimes I get hereabout once a year, once every
two years, where I have thisreally strong anxiety that
happens.
And I can completely see whypeople go to the doctor and get
(14:54):
medication.
But I try my hardest to see itas temporary.
And I noticed yesterday, soyesterday I spent the day with
my girlfriend.
We went out shopping, we wentout to have grabbed snacks and
lunch and breakfast, and wespent literally the whole day
(15:15):
together.
And then we watched a movie.
But as soon as I left her house,driving down the road, anxiety,
panic, I don't even know, hit meagain.
And I was trying to think, like,what are what were you thinking
when this hit?
You know, like what was the whatwas going on in your mind?
(15:35):
And recently it's been all, youknow, all the things about
moving, letting go.
I worry about our dog tyke, likeprobably way more than anyone
should.
But uh or you know, I worryabout things that just shouldn't
be worried about with her.
So I try to, in my mind, have asense of control, you know.
(16:01):
Oh, what's going on?
And and so that doesn't work.
I'm in a time of life right nowwhere I I'm really having to let
go of all control, the illusionof control, anyway, that I think
I've had so far.
And it's scary.
(16:23):
It's scary.
And I have to really keepbringing myself back to breath
work and imagining like this istemporary.
But at the same time, I'mthinking, okay, well, how
temporary is it?
Because, like, how long is itgonna take to sell the house?
And will I think about this andfeel this until the house sells
and all this stuff comes, youknow, this tsunami comes into my
(16:46):
mind.
And so I think that's why I'mfinding myself like just uh this
last week at least, just on edgeevery day and breaking down
every day.
Uh and yeah, so uh I I thinkwhat you're saying is something
that I'm really going throughright now at the moment is
having to be aware that this ishappening in my body and just
(17:15):
trying to know, like in thepast, when I've done it said,
you know, to myself over andover and over this is temporary,
but there's a there's a bigger,it seems, there's a bigger drive
in my mind right now to try tofigure this out.
And that brings my attention toit, right?
(17:37):
You have to figure this out, youhave to be in have some sort of
control here.
You have, you know, all thoseold illusions that come up.
So yeah, that's that's sort ofwhat I'm going through right
now.
And even if I as I talk aboutit, I've got major anxiety right
now, you know?
(17:57):
Yay!
SPEAKER_03 (17:59):
So to be aware of that is to be aware that that
emotion is bringing you amessage.
Fear is a warning, not a wall.
And you're seeking to protectyourself from some perceived
future problem.
And if you calm yourself withjust a simple breath, and we'll
(18:21):
talk about that in a second, youmight actually find that what
you're most accurately afraid ofcan be isolated in your mind.
Now, breath is a fantastictechnique to deal with emotion.
And so the first breathingtechnique I would tell you, if
you're dealing in fear or you'redealing in sadness, you're
(18:42):
dealing in anxiety, a firstreally good breathing technique
is called stacked breathing.
Stacked breathing mimics crying.
And crying is just about one ofthe most wonderful releasing
things you can do.
You know, tears mean truth,which means you're right on the
edge of understanding.
So to allow that to flow throughyou is probably going to lead
(19:03):
you to understanding it.
So a stacked breath is to takein a normal breath, but then
before you exhale, right on topof it, you take in another big
breath.
So it's kind of like I'm surethat'll come through the
microphone just fine.
Um the the idea is that you'reyou're taking in a normal breath
(19:30):
and then take in another normalbreath on top of it, and then
let that all flow out.
And for most people, the firsttime they do that, they feel
that kind of a jagged exhalethat sort of they they feel it
catch.
And that's quite literally theemotion coming.
That's the emotion coming out.
For some people, the emotionsare so intense right now that
(19:52):
they can't sort them out, theycan't, they can't spend time
simply observing it.
They they can't.
Can't see past the physicalnature of it.
Emotions can be so intense thatthey become feelings.
Talk about that in a second.
But that stacked breathingtechnique is a great way to turn
(20:12):
down the gauge, turn down thedial, get the emotion moving
through you so that you canengage it with less fixation and
more observation.
It's the observation that'sgoing to help you.
It's not the fixation on theemotion.
(20:32):
It's the observation of theemotion followed by the allowing
of its message to come forwardthat's going to help you.
It's not the emotion itself,right?
It's like imagine a controlpanel that has a red light, and
underneath it is a pan, a wordpanel that's going to flash up a
(20:54):
message.
The red light comes on and wefocus on the red light and we
keep our eyes on the red lightwhen really the red light should
come on as a way of getting ourattention to read what's come up
on the panel.
Right?
But if we're going to focus onthe red light, we're going to
get blinded.
We're not going to see thepanel.
We're going to get reallyabsorbed into the flashing light
and whatever noise comes alongwith it.
(21:16):
But what it is, it's sayingthere's a message here.
And then taking the time to tryto understand the message.
Oh, look, there's a red light.
What's the message?
That's like, oh, look, there'sfear.
What's the message?
And this is something we have topractice.
This is something we have to getgood at.
And this kind of breathing helpsturn down the tone on the light.
(21:38):
It quiets the noise, the hornthat comes with the warning.
And it gives you an opportunityto observe the emotion.
And, you know, fear in all itsforms, anxiety.
You know, the problem withanxiety is it's a bunch of fears
probably stacked on top of eachother.
And it's going to take a certainamount of releasing of the
(22:00):
emotion to be able to startrecognizing the messages.
And that that too can becomehabit.
That too can become really atalent to not respond to
emotions.
And we have all kinds ofexamples in that.
You know, I have Pat, mybrothers and sisters who are
firefighters, who are police,who are emergently emergency
(22:21):
medical techs, right?
Like what they do is quiteliterally take the emotion out
of a situation and make ittotally impersonal so that they
can respond.
Because whatever situationthey're responding to, it's
scary.
It's just plain scary.
And they have this practicedability to lower their emotion
(22:46):
quickly and be practical withresponse.
And they practice that and theytrain for that and they work
really hard on that.
They work really hard to knowwhat to do without having to
think about it.
And they replace, they use thoseemotions to trigger all these
habitual behaviors that they doso well.
And, you know, uh, and I say tothem, the ones that that suffer
(23:10):
are the ones that don't know howto release those emotions later.
They don't know how to be awareof them and release them later,
and then they build up, andthat's the kind of horrible
stuff they go through.
And this is where we let themdown by not training them in
this, by not training them howto release emotions, because
they're still always just humanbeings, courageous human beings.
Anyway, with that said, sooftentimes that breathing
(23:32):
technique will bring the bringthe gear it right down, we'll
bring it right down and put itin the realm of, oh, there is
this emotion.
What does that emotion mean?
As we're sitting there, I'mwatching you do it.
Thoughts?
SPEAKER_00 (23:45):
Yeah, I've come down since talking.
I noticed something that happenswhen my clients go through the
same thing, when I take themthrough the same thing.
So as I'm asking the emotion,what's the message?
The message is you are safe.
And that happens with myclients, right?
(24:07):
And it's all it always seems tobe a night a nice message, a
supporting message.
But then my next question is,well, why do you suck so much?
Like, why is it so bad?
And the next message is kind ofhard to hear right now, but it's
something to do with uh sort ofwhat I was talking about earlier
(24:29):
about this sense of you know,not feeling can control and
feeling like, oh, you know, thethe image that comes to mind
right now is me slipping on ice,almost like everything's being
pulled out underneath me.
And I know it's on purpose.
I'm not slipping on ice, youknow, because I want because you
(24:50):
know, the rug's being pulled outunderneath me.
But I know that what what we'redoing right now in life is is
intentional, but it's stillscary AF.
I don't think I can use badwords on the podcast.
I don't know.
SPEAKER_03 (25:09):
Yeah.
Anyway.
Well, we don't want to be thatkind of podcast.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (25:12):
So let's let's shift now to something called they
call it box breathing, foursquare breathing, four by four
breathing.
There's lots of names for it,but what it is, is just
controlled breathing.
And it's the kind of breathingthat requires your attention.
So now you're shifting yourattention away from what you
(25:34):
perceive to be problematic,whatever it is, and you're
putting your attention on yourbreathing.
Now, what makes this just, youknow, why should you do it?
You should do it because this ishow they train uh the service
people.
Uh, you know, that the NavySEALs are famous for it, that
they quite literally drop intobox breathing as soon as they're
(25:58):
engaged.
And it's just simply breathingin which you even out the breath
in and out, and you even out thepauses in between.
You'll know naturally when youmonitor or pay attention to your
breath that there's a pause.
I call it a pause at the top.
After you breathe in, there's apause before you start breathing
out.
And the same thing after youbreathe out.
(26:20):
There's a pause before you startbreathing in.
And so what you want to do thenis have your breath coming in
match in time the amount of timeyou wait until you breathe out.
And then that matches the sameamount of time as you breathe
out, and then that matches theamount of time you wait between
breathing out and breathing in.
(26:41):
Now it doesn't have to be biglong breaths, right?
It can be shallow breathing.
But the point is that you'repaying attention, and so you use
kind of a rhythmic counting inyour mind for breathing in,
holding, breathing out, holding,breathing in, and it's matched
(27:02):
in the same amount of time.
Now, some people can reallyspread this out.
They breathe in, two, three,four, hold, two, three, four,
out, two, three, four, hold,two, three, four, in, but you
could shorten that to three.
(27:22):
In two, three, hold two, three,out, two, three, hold, two,
three.
So this is deliberate becauseyou're expanding the holds from
what they normally are, and sothat deliberate attention really
forces your sympathetic nervoussystem.
(27:43):
It almost forces it into theparasympathetic nervous system
and it calms you down.
And we did, we talked abouttechniques of relaxing last
week.
So, you know, you can use someof them.
Just being aware of yourperipheral vision, right?
Being uh expansive in your inyour hearing, listening for
things, that looking around.
(28:04):
These are the kinds of thingsthat shift your your unconscious
mind out of this reaction,reactionary mode into the
parasympathetic nervous system.
So that's another technique.
But in the end, what you want todo is you want to understand the
emotion.
(28:24):
It's got a message, and yousoften your attention on it by
being aware of it instead.
And in that awareness, you dowhat you do so well.
Just what do you mean?
What are you here for?
What are you telling me?
Yeah, what do you want me toknow?
And then you become aware ofwhat you're going through.
And becoming aware of whatyou're going through gives you
(28:46):
the ability to strategize aresponse.
It lets you say, okay, you know,this is this is shedding.
SPEAKER_00 (28:54):
Yeah, like this week.
unknown (28:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (28:57):
This is shedding.
And what's the opportunity thatcomes with that?
Right.
And so what comes here is thisidea that I I soften my
attention, I turned it intoawareness, I try to understand
it, I breathe my way through it,which is an incredible way of
lessening the feeling part,right?
(29:18):
Everybody feels emotionsdifferently.
There's commonalities.
And certainly you might findthat somebody else in the world
feels emotions the way you do,but you'll also find in the
world there are people who feelemotions differently than you
do.
SPEAKER_02 (29:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (29:32):
An emotion where the emotion meets the body is the
phrase.
That's my feeling.
And I think there's value inseparating those ideas, right?
Separating the idea by myfeelings from my emotions.
They're two different things,right?
Emotions create feelings.
Emotions are an interpretiveresponse to situations.
(29:54):
Feelings are where I experiencethat in my body.
I then respond to my body withthe easiest way are these
relaxation techniques that allowme to move away from the emotion
to observe it and understand itand come up with a strategy to
respond.
Whatever you do that isn't that,that's just a habit.
(30:19):
However, you might find yourespond to your emotions and
your feelings now, that's just ahabit.
And I think it's incrediblyempowering to see that as just a
habit that can change.
It's about practice, it's aboutusing these tools.
You've become habitual in yourexperience of these emotions,
(30:40):
and that can change.
I think that's a huge reframewhen you see it that way.
Because it's very easy to claimemotion, have a negative
emotion, say, I am angry, I amscared, I am frustrated.
It's very easy to grab thoseemotions, hold on to them, make
them part of you, focus on thefrustration part, the anger
(31:01):
part, the fear part, and not themessage, right?
Your eyes can get locked ontothat flashing red light and not
read the screen underneath itthat tells you what needs to
happen.
SPEAKER_02 (31:13):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (31:14):
So then comes, you know, if you've got the message,
if you've received the message,you know, and sometimes the
message is pretty clear, youknow, get the hell out of here.
This needs to stop.
SPEAKER_00 (31:25):
And that's uh it's it's it's funny because, and I
think I mentioned this the otherday in a podcast.
When we're feeling anxiety orfear, it's almost like if we
don't dive deeper and take thetime and ask what the message
is, it's very easy to getwrapped up in the feeling like
you need to run away from this.
(31:47):
It needs to stop.
And yeah, so it's it but youcan't, right?
We're we're not gonna just belike, oh well, we're just not
gonna sell the house now becausewe're full of fear.
It's just a it's not real,right?
And it doesn't just becauseyou're feeling fear and anxiety
for me so for myself, doesn'tmean it's real.
(32:10):
Does that make sense?
So like it's not just becauseI'm having those emotions or
feelings doesn't mean that it'swrong what I'm doing.
SPEAKER_03 (32:20):
Heck no.
SPEAKER_00 (32:21):
Right.
But it is easy to get caught upin that that feeling that, well,
if if I'm having these emotions,then something must be wrong.
SPEAKER_03 (32:30):
Well, and that that's really what the topic
today is really about.
How to release them.
I think there's no point,there's no value in releasing
emotions, there's no value inthese breathing techniques if
they're not leading you tounderstand your emotion.
If you're not using them to geta better understanding of your
emotion, get a betterunderstanding of your situation,
(32:53):
calming yourself so that theemotion and the feeling don't
overwhelm you.
If you're not using it for that,then it's not serving you.
These techniques are justprolonging it, really.
So you have to enter into thesetechniques with the intention of
understanding what it is, whatis the message.
I think that's really important.
(33:15):
That's a question we don't ask,right?
We we just react.
And again, those are habits.
So, with that said, now it'sabout releasing it.
Okay, I've looked at this andI've understood what I'm doing
here.
I've understood, I'munderstanding what the emotion's
message is, I'm understandingwhat I need to do so that I
don't have this emotion anymore.
(33:37):
And now I can let go of theemotion.
I don't have to keep myattention on it any longer.
You you're thinking.
SPEAKER_00 (33:47):
Yeah, I'm sitting here doing parts work uh in my
mind with myself, and I'm sureit's layered, but what came up
was my little self.
And it's it it it's funnybecause I didn't think at the
time I I to think back, I think,oh well, I was too young to
really feel much, but I rememberfeeling it.
(34:10):
When I was young, my houseburned down and I lost
everything.
And for some reason that came upwhen I was feeling the anxiety,
and maybe it is part of that.
There's a little me that's like,well, am I losing everything?
Or like, you know, what's gonnahappen?
I don't know.
(34:30):
I think that's worth unpacking.
SPEAKER_03 (34:32):
I think everybody should be really grateful.
You're proving how you can movethrough this stuff, right?
You're doing this live on air.
The exactly the stuff we'retalking about by allowing
yourself to move through theemotion into an understanding,
you're able to then use simplemind techniques of saying, well,
(34:55):
where does this come from?
And it's it's quite effective.
You know, we're gonna do acourse on self-hypnosis, but the
truth is you can release anawful lot in the state of, well,
in an alpha or a theta state.
So, so think about it this way.
If you were to experience anemotion that is overwhelming,
(35:18):
and allow yourself to be awareof the emotion, but separate
yourself from it.
There is this emotion, and thenuse some breathing techniques to
decrease the amount that it'scompelling you, and then ask it,
what's your message?
And you'll get a message, andthen you ask it, where did you
come from?
And you will quite literally beregressing yourself.
(35:41):
Because when you drop into thatkind of emotional state, you are
very much in your subconsciousmind, very much in your
unconscious mind.
And that's where you can programyourself.
And then when you say, Where didthis come from?
And you say, Wow, I hadn'tthought about that in a while,
there I was.
And I guess I'm having similarfeelings as I had when I was
(36:04):
there.
And now is your chance to giveyourself, because you're always
already deep in trance, now isyour chance to give yourself a
positive message.
I am safe.
I survived that.
One of my favorite techniques inhypnosis is just to bring in the
present-day self to sit besidethe young self that went through
it.
(36:24):
And imagine yourself sittingthere beside your little self
and telling your little selfit's going to be okay.
You're going to have a reallygreat life.
Yes, you've lost a lot, but youwill move on and you will
experience a whole lot more.
You will have so much more.
And you'll start to realize thatyour happiness doesn't matter on
things, it doesn't matter onhomes.
(36:47):
And you can even give yourselfanother message like I am my own
home.
SPEAKER_02 (36:52):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (36:53):
Right.
And so you can do this withyourself very, very easily.
You don't have to be a trainedhypnotist, you just have to
understand what's going on inyour own mind.
And that's that's the purpose ofthe podcast, right?
We're doing everything we can totry to help people understand
what's going on in their mindwith their mind.
(37:14):
So now we get to move on to Iunderstand where this is coming
from.
I am safe.
I know what I need to do.
The emotion will already startto dissipate.
And now, how do we release it?
How do we get rid of thatemotion?
Because we need to release it.
We need to say, okay, I'm donewith you.
I got your message.
(37:34):
It's time to move on.
SPEAKER_00 (37:36):
Yeah.
Excuse me.
When it comes to releasing,there's a a lovely technique
where I've I've spoken about itnumerous times on the podcast,
but just to break it down, trymy best to break it down into
really detailed ways.
(37:56):
Notice where you have thatfeeling attached to the emotion
in the body.
And imagine or get a sense thatyou are grasping onto that
emotion, feeling, and sort ofpulling it out of the body,
(38:19):
right?
You're pulling it out.
Sometimes the idea I give peopleis that you are a light body,
right?
That's your n that's youroriginal self, the light body.
And when we come into thesehuman forms, thought form can
(38:41):
can become dense.
But because it's dense, it doesnot, it can't really attach to
your light body.
It's just sort of stuck in thehuman body.
And so with that, you can graspit because it's dense.
And so you grasp it and you haulit out of the body, put it out
(39:01):
there in front of you, notice itout there in front of you.
And when you get a sense thatit's out there in front of you,
become a have that awarenessthat it's out there in front of
you.
And then as a secondary step toreally, really notice that it's
not actually part of the body,let's say, is to give it form.
(39:25):
What does that look like outthere?
Ah, it's a blob, or it's oh mygosh, the things that people
notice out there, chains,bricks, oil, blob, many blobs,
mist, fog.
It can be anything.
And there's no right or wrongabout it, right?
(39:46):
There's no good or bad.
It just is.
So notice what it might looklike, or notice what you sense
it is.
And when it's out there, I liketo I like to Ask people to
forgive it if they're open toforgiving it, right?
I understand you know this iswhere it's coming from.
(40:08):
I send forgiveness to you and tome, kind of thing.
SPEAKER_03 (40:13):
Thank you for the message.
SPEAKER_00 (40:14):
Thank you for the message.
Thank you.
And then depending on what it islinked to, I'll say, like if
it's a handed down beliefsystem, then we pass it back.
But let's say we're just focusedon the emotions right now.
You get a sense that the justthe universe is taking it, or
(40:37):
how do you want to see thatreleased?
Some people see it dissipating,disagre, disintegrating in front
of them into the air or youknow, the environment.
Some people see big hands comingin and taking it.
I've seen or I've had clientssee a vacuum, a big vacuum come
(40:58):
and vacuum it up.
And what's coming to me is justnot to be angry with it, just to
know that it was just a messageand it was trying to get your
attention.
And to to to definitely just letit go and forgive it.
Did I cover everything?
There's there's so many thingsthat could happen in that that I
(41:20):
was trying to take like the theshortest, you know, A to B line
there.
But because as you know, it canbe it can go into parts work, it
can go everywhere and anywhere.
So that's that's the easiest, Ithink, straightest line that you
can do.
SPEAKER_03 (41:38):
And this was the idea actually that I wanted to
convey when I first thought thiswould be a good topic, and that
is that the mind does not like avoid.
So now that you have softenedyour awareness, lightened the
emotional response, understoodthe emotion, taken that emotion
(42:01):
now, and instead of clinging toit, putting it out in front of
you and allowing it to go, it'simportant to realize that the
mind and then the ethereal bodydoes not want to be left in a
void, in a vacuum.
And you need to then fill thatspace with something very
helpful.
SPEAKER_02 (42:22):
Yep.
SPEAKER_03 (42:22):
So awareness, softening of attention, helping
the body, understanding themessage, understanding what
needs to happen, understandingwhere it came from.
It's amazing what you can do foryourself in your own mind.
And this is to me so important.
You know, this is some of thebest hypnosis work I've ever
(42:45):
done, I've done to myselfbecause I just understand that
I've come to understand betterhow to use my mind for my own
purposes.
So, with all of that said, nowwe have a release.
And now breathe, continue yourbreathing, and this is where you
would do deep breathing.
(43:06):
Deep breathing now becomes a wayof filling you.
And one of the best, most simpletechniques, I've taught this to
a few people, and they justthink it's marvelous.
I I thought it was marvelouswhen I learned it, is just to
simply breathe in light.
Whatever color means peace toyou, often blue or white, and
(43:27):
take nice deep breaths of thatlight.
And now you're filling up thespace that was left.
And it might take a few breathsto do that.
But when you become aware thatyou've now filled yourself up,
you filled that empty space upwith the white light, and you're
now your awareness is all aboutthat beautiful light.
(43:50):
When you feel like you're full,continue breathing and start
sharing it.
So your inhale is to take it in,and your exhale is to share it
with the world around you.
Oftentimes these intenseemotions involve somebody else,
another person.
And they might be the mostperfect person to focus on and
(44:11):
sharing it.
Breathing in, filling yourselfup, having it flow through you
and breathing it out and sharingit with the world, with specific
people, with your space.
It's now very, very calming,very, very releasing.
You've understood what thisemotion wants you to do.
(44:32):
You've understood why thatemotion came up.
And now you can release thatemotion and be clear.
You can do that with light.
You can do that just with yourbreath, just the breath energy.
You can imagine light, whateverlight you want.
You can sit in nature and takein nature's energy.
(44:52):
You know, you know, there'sthere's tree huggers out there,
right?
Sit by a tree and take in thetree's energy.
I love to sit by the water,that's why we live here.
Take in the water's energy, takein the bird's energy, take in
the sounds of whateverenvironment you're in, take in
that energy, fill that spacethat you've now emptied from an
(45:15):
emotion that you haven't beenable to move through easily.
So don't leave a void, becausethen the mind falls back into
habit.
The mind will go back tothinking that thought again.
SPEAKER_00 (45:25):
Well, what did you say even before?
The mind doesn't like a void.
Yeah, it wants to fill it.
It wants to think like the dog,two in the bone.
SPEAKER_03 (45:33):
There you go.
Yeah.
So what do you think of that?
SPEAKER_00 (45:37):
Like it sounds good.
Sounds great, says the chat.
Right?
Easy.
SPEAKER_03 (45:46):
Easy is when you get it's something that we don't get
taught, and that if we're reallylucky at some point in our
lives, we're having such acrisis that we're gonna get
taught this.
If we're really lucky, we bumpinto somebody, whether it's a
counselor or a friend or ahypnotist who helps us to get a
(46:12):
grasp on our own mind.
SPEAKER_02 (46:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (46:15):
That's you know, my biggest goal, how to teach
people to have their mind betheir ally, how to use their
mind to make their life betterand not feel so subject, so
controlled, so tortured by theirown mind.
SPEAKER_00 (46:29):
Yeah, absolutely.
So thank you for hanging out,everyone.
The classrooms have theclassroom called emotions, and
there's two videos in thereright now.
I think you would wanted to overthe course of time there will
be, I think you mentioned eight,ten, ten.
SPEAKER_03 (46:49):
Yeah.
There's gonna be lots of them,and yeah, it's it's meant to
really sort of treat it like abit of a course where you're
going to have a lesson and thenyou're going to experience a
meditation that's going to helpthat lesson lock in, and then
we'll move on.
And so those meditations are allsketched out.
I've got to record them andupload them today.
unknown (47:08):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03 (47:08):
That's my intention.
SPEAKER_00 (47:09):
Intention.
Okay, everyone.
Well, have a good day, and umwe'll see you later.
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