December 2, 2025 • 39 mins
Ask us a Question or Leave a Comment!
We follow a listener’s prompt on feeding the mind and trace how fear, habit, and culture shape our thoughts. We share a simple reframe, practical resets, and ways to turn negative triggers into cues for better thinking and calmer feeling.
• fear and social conditioning forming thought habits
• I am not my thoughts reframe
• using negative thoughts as triggers for opposites
• safety and aloneness at the core of many fears
• emotions amplifying inner speech and beliefs
• dialoguing with emotions for messages and causes
• replacing habits and breaking thought trains
• resets through movement, laughter, and immersive focus
• choosing action and asking for help to clear interference
We hope this helps a little as you go through your day.
We would love to hear your feedback or questions.
We will respond to both in future episodes.
Check us out at
www.somhypnosis.com
Join our online Community!
https://www.skool.com/infinite-mind-school/about
Email us at
info@somhypnosis.com
Start your own podcast with Buzzsprout!
https://www.buzzsprout.com/?referrer_id=1810507
Support Coffee With Hilary & Les
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1829917/support
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:08):
All right, we are on the line.
SPEAKER_00 (00:12):
Morning.
Kind of an overcast day over thelake, but it's cold.
Everything's frozen.
Frozen right across.
It usually takes mid-February toget there.
SPEAKER_01 (00:23):
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
It wasn't as bad yesterday.
I thought it was gonna be a nosehair frozen day, crunchy day,
but it wasn't that bad.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
It did take a while for me to clean off my car, but
well, in this part of the world,it's suddenly winter.
SPEAKER_01 (00:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (00:40):
We're doing something different today,
aren't we?
SPEAKER_01 (00:42):
We are, we're just winging it.
We're always winging it.
It's kind of like we asked ouraudience.
Yes, our live audience, whatthey would like to hear about.
And we heard back someone who isfeeding the birds and about
feeding the mind.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01):
How do you feed the mind?
And that's you know, there's amillion little things we can do,
but I think what we do alwaysflows um from our beliefs about
things.
And I think that what a lot ofpeople believe about their mind
(01:22):
is that it's pretty limited, oruncontrollable.
Yeah, yeah.
Out of control.
Does what it wants to do.
SPEAKER_01 (01:30):
This is what I'm stuck with.
SPEAKER_00 (01:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (01:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:34):
And I think that probably, you know, and just my
humble opinion, that one of thebiggest problems in the world
today is that people have becomemindless.
SPEAKER_01 (01:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:46):
There's not a lot of use of our minds.
And that part of that happensnaturally from the state of
forgetting that we come here in.
But I think that it has become acultural thing.
We're almost, you know, thatthat Marianne Williamson quote.
(02:08):
We're afraid of ourselves.
We're afraid of what we'recapable of.
We're afraid of what the mindmight be.
SPEAKER_03 (02:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (02:16):
We get afraid of our dreams at night.
We get afraid to think outsidethe box.
We get afraid to be wrong.
That's a that's an incrediblekind of limiting training that
we all go through when we'reyoung, is being trained to be
afraid of being wrong.
We're afraid to take chances.
(02:39):
Within that, the mind hasobviously been convinced that
something awful is going tohappen.
So I suppose as a as a firstresponse to the question, I
would say the process of feedingyour mind begins with knowing
that it's bigger than you thinkit is, that a lot of what's in
(02:59):
it is erroneous, it's nothelpful.
And the great news is all ofthat's changeable.
SPEAKER_01 (03:06):
Yeah.
Someone said it's our deepestfears.
Yeah, I, you know, a lot to godown to dreamland, down the path
of dreamland, that's for anotherday.
But yeah, the last couple nightsI've been having like my deepest
fears come out in dreams.
And I wake up and I wonder, whydid I think of that?
(03:28):
Or you know, why did that comeup?
What am I going through that isbringing all this up?
Very odd.
But yeah, the you know, evensometimes thinking the mind is
huge, right?
Is a little scary.
It's like taking it from alittle box to a warehouse
(03:52):
suddenly.
SPEAKER_00 (03:54):
That is an interesting meditation that I've
heard before of yes, seeing yourmind as a box and expanding it
as big as you possibly can.
I think we experience our mindsin these chaotic ways, and that
causes us to prefer to goinward.
(04:19):
I think you know, I've heardthis before, and I've thought it
myself, and I've thought I'msure glad people can't read my
thoughts.
What a mess, what a spectrum ofthoughts that in moments feel
like I'm enlightened.
(04:40):
I've got it, I figured it out.
Holy cow, I'm I I'm I'm there.
SPEAKER_01 (04:45):
And then start rising off the floor.
SPEAKER_00 (04:48):
Crazy, ugly things going through my head that you
know just cause me to just curlin and just like, oh, where did
that come from, Les?
Why are you thinking about that?
Yeah, I think that being honestwith yourself about your mind's
activities is a really great wayto begin the process of feeding
(05:12):
your mind.
SPEAKER_01 (05:13):
Yeah.
In the chat, it said, how do wefeed it the good stuff instead
of the negative stuff?
I sort of have a little bloodprayer for that.
I was thinking beforehand afterthe topic came up.
We tend to look externally.
When we talk about feeding themind, it's usually external.
(05:34):
You know, don't watch the newsor listen to nice music or
listen to meditations.
But I think on top of all that,it's um creating the habit, like
we mentioned the other day,creating the habit of thinking
some good thoughts towardsyourself, creating the habit of,
(05:56):
you know, waking up and I don'tknow, my habit now is sort of
talking to my body, to my soul,thank you for another day, that
kind of stuff.
And it feels nice, right?
And it sort of sort of stickswith me for throughout the day.
Of course, it's not perfect oranything.
(06:16):
I don't know if it's evenpossible for that.
But just creating those thosehabits of saying nice things to
yourself or thinking nicethings.
Not always possible, butstarting the habit is is a good
good way of doing that.
SPEAKER_00 (06:33):
Well, we went to the Canadian Hypnosis Conference.
I took a course with Luke.
I've forgotten Luke's last name.
Luke Howard.
Luke Howard.
And Luke is a mentalist, he's aperformer, he's a he's a stage
hypnotist, but he's also ahypnotherapist.
And he he taught a techniquethat he uses, which is a really
(06:56):
simple way to become lessconcerned about your thoughts.
And it's it's really simple.
And, you know, when we talkabout reframing, one of the most
important aspects of reframing,I think, is remembering that
your thoughts are habits.
What goes on in your mind ishabitual.
(07:18):
We are habit-making beings.
That's how we get efficient,that's how we get effective.
We like habits, we try to buildgood habits, and we built, we've
built the ability to thinknegatively, to anticipate the
negative.
Right?
(07:38):
These are habits.
We anticipate the worst, we planon things going wrong, we think
of these ideas, worrying andsuch, as actually helpful
because we're anticipatingnegative things.
And it I think for me, always,you know, I'm always trying to
(07:59):
understand.
And as hypnotists, I think it'sfundamental to understand where
the thought pattern come from,right?
You go back to the origins ofthe thought pattern and you try
to change it, you try to reframeit.
That's that's really in so manyways just the repetitive nature
of our work.
What makes it interesting, whatmakes it so difficult is that
(08:20):
everyone's mind is unique tothem.
But there are things ineveryone's mind as a result of
our social environment, oursocieties that we grow up in.
Our societies train us to fitin.
And how do you get someone to goto work every day?
(08:44):
How do you get them to get upwhen they don't want to, in the
dark, in the winter, in thecold, get in their car, drive
through a snowstorm to go to aplace where they generally feel
kind of abused, kind ofmistreated.
Like that kind of training isamazing when you think about the
(09:05):
millions of people getting upevery morning and going to work.
This is the society we live in.
The vast majority of thosepeople are being driven by fear,
right?
Fear that they won't haveenough, fear that they need to
fit in, fear that they're notgood people if they don't.
(09:28):
These kinds of fears in us, youknow, are trained in us from the
instant we can walk.
When mom, as soon as we couldwalk, you know, I joke and I say
to my friends at the gym, youknow, we spend the first year
trying to get them to walk andtalk.
And then after that, we're busytelling them to sit down and
shut up.
(09:48):
And that's the kind of thingthat human beings are.
We are moving, interactingbeings.
And from the instant we startdoing that, our parents start to
train us with fear.
So if I'm living in a world thatI fear, it's really smart to
(10:09):
think and anticipate negative.
And that becomes my habit.
So when you say I want to feedit the good stuff and not the
bad stuff, what we're reallysaying is, how do I get out of
my cycles of fear?
That's the way I interpret it.
And I think the first thing isto just say you came upon that
(10:29):
honestly.
That came to you through anatural process of living around
the people that you lived in,and your mind got created.
And in that creation, you havehabits, thought habits.
And that stuff is going on allthe time, right?
(10:49):
It's just going on.
Negative reactions to things allaround you all the time, happens
naturally.
You've been trained, you're wellpracticed.
It comes even to the point wherewe don't want those thoughts
anymore.
Having those thoughts, you startto recognize that they're
bothersome, that they're nothelping, that they're getting
(11:12):
you in an emotional state thatyou don't want to be in.
So then we go back to that firstreframe, right?
I think that's so huge.
It changes everything.
It's the first one, basically,all the time with my clients.
We start there.
I am not my thoughts.
I am the thinker.
And for many people, just that,just that alone, that idea
(11:34):
alone, is food for their mind.
It's the beginning of changingtheir mind.
It's the beginning of saying,I've had enough of this.
I want to do somethingdifferent.
So let's go on to what Luketaught.
Luke, you know, what'll happenis clients will come in and
they'll say, I have theseconstant thoughts about, you
(11:54):
know, being poor.
I have these constant thoughtsabout losing my job.
I have these constant thoughts.
And when we understand thatthat's where they come from,
they come from an honest placewhere somebody loved you and was
teaching you to be careful andcautious and afraid out of their
love for you.
(12:15):
You ask yourself, you know, dodid I create this thought?
And you have a conversation andyou get to the place where the
the person acknowledges that thethought just comes upon them.
We have, you know, 90,000thoughts a day.
(12:36):
The science is really clear, and80% of that is what you thought
yesterday, and 90% of that isnegative, right?
So these thoughts just come uponyou.
When you're aware of them, whenyou when they come upon you and
you can grab a hold of them andbe aware of them, you can change
(12:59):
them.
You can say, I don't want tothink about this, I want to
think about this.
But they're just thoughts.
And that's what's critical.
My habitual thoughts are justthoughts.
They come and they go.
They come without invitation,they go when a new one replaces
it.
They're just thoughts.
And he asked a wonderfulquestion.
(13:20):
I liked it a lot.
Which weighs more?
The thought of 50,000 pounds orthe thought of a feather?
And in truth, they're both justthoughts.
So, what is the weight of athought?
Well, a thought that somethingbad might happen, or a thought
that something good mighthappen.
They're both just thoughts.
(13:43):
They come about habitually,without any effort on your part.
They just arrived.
You didn't invite them.
They're just there.
Now, what if we took thatnegative thought that just flies
up in our face, that one thatcomes up, the one that's often
repeated, one of those, youknow, 50,000 that we just don't
(14:04):
want in a day.
And what if that thought becamethe reminder that I am not my
thoughts?
I am the thinker.
I can choose what I think.
SPEAKER_01 (14:16):
Negative thought would be like an anchor to the
other thought.
SPEAKER_00 (14:21):
It can, yeah, exactly.
It can be the the trigger thatyou use.
Now, this is a habit, right?
You got you're going to want tocreate a habit.
You're going to ask yourself,and this is, I think, so
important.
There's a great book up calledAtomic Habits.
And it's important to know thatit doesn't take that long to
change a habit.
You know, it's a matter ofweeks.
(14:42):
In a in a matter of months, youcan change a habit if you
deliberately do it.
Now, I've always believed, I'vealways experienced, I've always
said, the easiest way to get ridof a bad habit is to replace it
with a good one.
That's the easiest way becauseyou are a habitual being.
You want habits.
And so using a negative thoughtto trigger and provoke and evoke
(15:07):
a positive thought.
You know, the Buddhists talkabout observing their mind.
And I think that's that's reallywhat I'm driving at.
You can learn a lot aboutyourself by observing your mind.
But what you're really learningis your history and your habits.
And when you observe your mind,you start to see how innocently
(15:31):
you've acquired this habit ofthinking this negative thought.
Now, what does it weigh?
It doesn't weigh anything.
It's just a thought.
It weighs no more than any otherthought.
But the truth is, some thoughtsare preferable.
So what would be a preferablethought?
What would be the opposite ofthis thought?
(15:52):
So whenever it comes to worry ornegative anticipation of a
negative outcome, you know, Ithink that you can always go to
the opposite, right?
And the opposite is always I amsafe.
And part of I am safe, and whatI've discovered through working
with people and their fears, isan element of every fear that
(16:16):
people don't articulate, but isthere when you examine the fear
is I am alone.
I am alone in this.
This is up to me.
Yeah, I am alone.
So a fear comes.
Yeah, and fears are a widespectrum of possibilities and a
wide spectrum of degrees.
(16:37):
And you can have a little bit ofanxiety or you can have a
downright panic attack.
And the point is that your fearsare across a large spectrum, and
they can take all kinds ofshapes, but that negative
thought is uninvited, and youallow that.
Well, I didn't create thisthought, I didn't want this
(16:57):
thought, I didn't ask for thisthought.
This thought just came upon melike 50,000 others in a day.
Now I'm going to use thatthought to remind myself I am
not my thoughts.
I am the thinker.
I can change what I think.
And then I can take that thoughtand I can try to find what's the
(17:17):
opposite of this thought.
What would the opposite be?
And I am safe.
I am not alone.
I am never alone is thebeginning.
And then that can lead you tothe positive anticipation of
what good might be sitting therewaiting to happen.
(17:39):
What good things.
I mean, we put a lot of effortto keep negative stuff away, but
keeping negative stuff awayalmost always has a really
positive side to it.
As, you know, something good'sgonna happen, right?
Something wonderful is gonnatake place, you know.
You're holding a dinner partyand you're not sure you got
enough cookies, right?
(18:00):
And and you think, oh my God,should I have gotten bar
cookies?
I need more cookies.
You know, I am safe.
I'm not alone.
This party's gonna go really,really well because it's filled
with wonderful people.
We're going to enjoy whateverfood we have, and it's gonna be
a lot of fun.
I can hardly wait to see, youknow, Mary Joe again.
(18:21):
And Mary Jo is gonna be so muchfun, and we're gonna have such a
great conversation, and she'salways funny, and you know,
Billy Bob's always got a joke.
Isn't that funny?
Billy Bob's always brings a newjoke to every party, is gonna be
so much fun.
And so what happens then is thatidea that, you know, which
weighs more?
A thought of 50,000 pounds or athought of a feather?
(18:44):
Neither weighs more, they'rejust thoughts.
They come and they go, and I canuse them to trigger new, better
thoughts that move my emotionsin the opposite direction.
And so, you know, feeding yourmind, I think starts with
observing it, starts withforgiving yourself for how these
mental habits came about, andthen using techniques to start
(19:08):
to create new habits.
There you go.
SPEAKER_01 (19:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (19:13):
Sorry for talking so much.
SPEAKER_01 (19:14):
No, that's I get sucked in.
I'm like, oh yeah.
So that's it, folks.
No, I'm just kidding.
I have uh I've worked with manyclients that feel sort of the
same way, but they express it indifferent ways.
(19:35):
This idea that when they'realone with their emotions, or
sometimes in someone else in theroom, but they feel like they
don't have the capability orwhat it takes to move through
that emotion, and it's justoverwhelming.
And afterwards, after thesessions or a session, they're
(19:57):
like, Well, yeah, I that youknow, I I didn't think I had
that capability, I I didn'tthink I could move through that,
but now I can.
And they think that I didsomething to to make it so that
they could move through that.
And what I like to say to themis like I didn't I didn't
(20:20):
install the capability duringthe session.
You know, I didn't program touse those words sort of loosely,
but we we know what I think I'mtalking about.
But I didn't I didn't sayspecific things so that you
could be able to move throughthose emotions.
We just removed the barriers,right?
(20:41):
The thought patterns, the thethe stuck emotions.
We we worked on releasing those.
The capability is always there.
It's just sometimes when we getthat, you know, that weighted
thought of 50,000 pounds and wefeel it along with emotions and
and feelings.
Yeah, we can sometimes getcaught up in this thought that I
(21:04):
can't deal with this.
I I need to hide under covers, Ineed to just shut down for the
day.
And I think that for the mostpart, we're all born with that
capacity, right?
We're all born with the ability.
It's just to deal with ourthoughts and emotions and think
(21:25):
positive.
But it just it's clouded.
It's clouded.
And I I've and there's barriers,and I've sort of given this
metaphor before, where you'restanding at the end of your
driveway, and let's say yourhouse represents you, your your
abilities, your you as a whole.
(21:49):
And often people feel like theythey've lost themselves.
So imagine this house now isjust covered in fog.
Well, you don't think that thehouse is gone just because
there's fog there, right?
So we remove, we work together,we remove the fog,
metaphorically speaking, and andthen all your natural talents
(22:12):
and abilities and andcapacities, and they all rise to
the top.
And there's so much moreopenness to understanding, oh,
that's what I need to do, or orthis idea just came to me now,
or it just gives you so muchmore breathing room once you
(22:34):
unlock those emotions andrelease most of it or all of it,
just lets you think again,right?
There's no more fog, no morebarriers.
SPEAKER_00 (22:44):
Anyway, that's my uh I think that idea is is huge.
I think the idea, and it's in alot of places in spiritual
texts.
I think that embracing that ideais maybe a great way to feed
your mind.
(23:05):
My natural state is joy andlove.
That is my natural state.
However, I envision the creator,creator made me that way.
We talk about we talk abouthaving hobbies that make us
happy, and I love that idea thatthere's things we can do that
(23:28):
makes us happy.
You know, for me, music doesthat.
Just gotta turn on some music,and it will immediately shift my
mood.
Immediately.
(23:55):
Right?
This is not something that makesme happy.
This is something that isdistracting me, taking me away
from the thoughts that made meunhappy.
And that's just the process ofcomforting, right?
We all do that.
Let's get a blanket, I'll feelbetter.
Let's have some potato chips,that'll feel better.
Let's put on some music, I'llfeel better.
Let's watch Ted Lasso, I'll feelbetter.
(24:18):
Right?
These are all attempts tocomfort our otherwise
systematic, repetitive,habitual, out of control, not
even ours, negative thoughts.
And so to think about somethingmaking you happy, I think is a
confusion.
(24:39):
It's better to think of it asthis removes that which is
blocking my natural state.
Like you say, the fog or theclouds in the sky.
The sun's always there, but theclouds in the sky get in the
way.
To think of it in those terms,my natural state is joy.
My natural state is excitementand curiosity.
(25:00):
My natural processes arecreativity and active choice.
And what I have instead is avery elaborate, systematic
training filled with reasons whyI should be afraid.
And that is keeping me away.
That is blocking, that isinterfering with my natural
(25:23):
state of joy.
And that's okay.
Because what you can do isremove the clouds, blow the fog
away, recognize that you can dosomething that eliminates those
thoughts.
So to me, I think one of theincredible new thoughts, an
incredible new reframe you canlook at is to remember when
(25:47):
you're at your worst, whenyou're feeling the most upset.
You know, I get there, and thisis the new technique I've been
using for about eight monthsnow, and it's why it's right top
of mind.
And why when you started talkingabout the fog, I just thought
that was beautiful.
Joy is my natural state.
What's going on here?
(26:08):
Joy is my natural state.
What's going on in my mind herethat's interfering with that?
And then maybe I need to choosedifferently.
Maybe I need to start choosingmy thing.
That's when I can kick in, youknow.
I'm not my thoughts, I'm thethinker.
I can think whatever I want.
But joy is my natural state.
So what's going on here issomething's interfering with
(26:29):
that rather than how do I makemyself joyful?
How do I make myself happy?
Right?
It's something is interfering.
Sometimes those thoughts arevery present and they're very
real, and there's realconditions that need to be
addressed.
And one of the worst things wedo is we don't address them.
(26:50):
We spend our time in thefeeling, the negative feeling,
and then we don't address thething that would actually
alleviate the feeling because wemaybe don't feel we can, or we
feel alone, or we're not surehow to do it.
This is where I think help comesin.
This is the importance of help.
This is the importance ofturning to somebody close and
saying, I need some help withthis.
(27:11):
I'm caught up in these thoughts.
I'm afraid of this.
I need some help with that.
But sometimes we can come upwith the answer ourselves.
And the only response then is todo it.
Do it as quickly as you can.
Get it done, right?
Just get on with it.
Just say, yeah, this is thething that's interfering with my
(27:31):
happiness.
This is the thing that'sinhibiting my joy.
I want to address it.
And I want to address it now.
Now, I think that asking forhelp and being with others is an
important part of that.
But I think it's important tosee that my natural state of is
joy, and the thing interferingwith that is the way I'm using
(27:54):
my mind, the way I aminterpreting the situation in
front of me.
And I think it's important totake ownership of that.
Otherwise, you're just going touse this technique to go around
blaming everybody.
SPEAKER_01 (28:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (28:06):
I didn't think of that yet.
I'm going to go around and blameeverything and everybody and all
the situations and my whole lifeis all to blame why I'm unhappy.
Um, joy is our natural state,there are things that we can do
to bring that forward.
SPEAKER_01 (28:20):
Yeah.
Also, too, something that I'vestarted to use in sessions, and
it's it's bringing up right awaythe the core of what's going on.
So normally, or in the past,let's say I would take people
(28:40):
through, you know, the streamtechnique, and then, you know,
can you feel that emotion in thebody anymore?
Yes, okay, let's stream it out.
Like let's get it out into thestream or pluck it out of the
body.
Just imagine it coming out.
And then once we're down to thelittle bits that are left,
usually what I'll say is, okay,imagine that's a marble and just
(29:04):
pluck that out of the body,right?
Like pull it out in front ofyou.
It floats in the air there.
And what message does it havefor you?
And nine times out of 10, themessage is lovely.
And I'm thinking, wow, isn'tthat fascinating that an emotion
(29:24):
can have a good message for you?
Right.
And so I started thinkingthough, well, what why is it
hurting then?
Like what's going on?
What's the other side to this?
What if it has such a nicemessage?
What's the other part of it?
And so I've started askingpeople.
I've started asking the them toask the emotion, why does this
(29:48):
hurt so much then?
If that's if that's yourmessage, what's going on, right?
Why is this paining me?
And they're answering.
The emotion is answering andgiving.
the ultimate belief that they'reholding on to.
It's quite fascinating.
So next time you pluck out ofemotion, ask what's your
(30:12):
message?
And why is this causing me griefor pain or hurt?
Like, you know, why is my mystomach all feeling terrible?
Or why do I have this pressurein my chest or throat or
whatever?
If it's such a nice message, youknow what's going on deeper
(30:34):
here?
SPEAKER_00 (30:36):
So yeah, how do I feed my mind?
Well I think first I understandit a little bit better.
Right?
It's just like any kind ofnutrition, right?
It's you know you you goats eatanything, right?
But you shouldn't.
And it's understanding whatnutrition is that causes you to
(31:00):
choose to take care of yourselfwith good food.
It's in understanding where ournegative thoughts come from and
deciding that we want somethingdifferent and picking the things
that feed our mind knowing thatwhat we're really trying to do
(31:24):
is stop a flow of thoughts thatare interfering with your
natural state of joy.
And that's why you know we couldhave answered this I think we we
could have answered this topicquickly with oh I'll listen to
music, read a book, watch TV,right?
But that's not that's notunderstanding the situation at
(31:46):
all.
That's not recognizing how themind comes about and how it's
shaped and what its habits are.
And that's more importantbecause then we can choose the
nutrition that we want for themind.
We can be more deliberate and wecan be more specific.
I think one last point I wouldmake is that you know thoughts
(32:10):
are like trains.
They attach on to thoughts likethem and then they start going
really fast.
They're really hard to steerthey're really hard to slow down
they're really hard to stop.
And I think it's important tosee that habitual continuous
nature of thoughts and do thingsthat literally break that
(32:34):
process.
Right?
There's a there's some loosescience out there that suggests
if you hold a thought for 15 to17 seconds, it will be joined by
a thought of very similarmeaning and vibration.
And that when you spend 64seconds on a thought you're now
(32:55):
absolutely shifting your mindand your body right and so these
these negative thought trainsthat come upon us, we have to I
think it's good to see them thatway.
This is a train right it's on atrack it's going for me to just
say stop right now is probablypretty tough.
(33:18):
Right.
But there are methods that youcan use to slow that train down
to change what's on that trainbut I think it starts with
understanding that this is thatthis is a this is a train this
is a collection of thoughts thathave momentum that are
(33:40):
duplicating themselves andfeeding themselves with the
emotional state that they arecreating.
It's hard to feel in a negativestate and have a positive
thought.
In fact we can often you know bein a negative state and think of
something positive and turn thatpositive thing negative that's
(34:02):
the power of the train.
So to me what's really importantis to find a way to reset.
And resets can be sleep resetscan be music but some of the
absolute best resets arephysical activity.
Physical activity engages thedeep unconscious mind as well as
(34:26):
the subconscious mind.
So for people who have hobbiesfor people who have sports and
gyms to go to for people whohave projects that they want to
engage oftentimes they will puta stop to the train and begin to
(34:47):
build a new train.
Watching a movie you know thisis why I think you know we are
obsessed with TV TV grabs allyour senses and takes it in the
direction of a story.
And I really believe thatsometimes like I do it when my
mind is just sort of lost in itsmess yeah I'll turn on the TV
(35:10):
and I'll watch a comedian talkor I'll watch a funny movie,
right?
I really think there's value inthat you know we've said for for
for millennia, you know,laughter is the best medicine
and I believe in the truth ofthat so sometimes when that
train is just going and you'renot able to stop it, yeah, you
(35:32):
can turn to some of thesecomforting mechanisms and just
with the idea, with theintention of breaking the
thought train, thinking being soabsorbed in something else and
physical is really helpful.
SPEAKER_03 (35:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (35:47):
Because it involves all parts of your mind and gets
you fully focused on somethingelse.
So you know if you're feedingyour mind and your mind is in it
one of its negative habits andyou're finding it really hard
because the train has a lot ofmomentum, these are some of the
more extreme things you can doexercise, immersive experiences
(36:09):
some for some people just gooutside, right?
To go from inside to outside issort of that all sensory shift
that breaks the train andcreates the opportunity for
something else.
SPEAKER_01 (36:22):
Yeah before we log off today something came to me
while we were speaking the otherday we were talking about how we
think you and I think right thedifferences and stuff.
And I thought this was kind ofinteresting and probably crosses
into everybody's thoughtpatterns.
So I'm very visual right I Idon't I don't want to say like I
(36:45):
don't have a lot of thoughtgoing on up there.
But I have thoughts in half halfmade sentences and I think okay
well if I say this sentencemaybe some you know I'll I'll
continue talking something willcome out I'm sure I guess is
good for channeling at themoment but what I noticed while
(37:06):
we were talking and I wasthinking about my thoughts is I
am very able to create sentencesin my mind when I am highly
emotional.
So like you know anger sadnessfrustration even happiness right
(37:29):
joy.
So when there's emotion attachedsuddenly it's like things get
really loud in there right andso anyway just something to
ponder what is that you knowit's could be a whole other
podcast but why does the emotionmake suddenly everything really
(37:50):
real right oh I must I'm I havethis deep thought over and over
and over again it must be realyou know especially when we get
caught up in those like angercycles or you know sad cycles or
hurt you know it just allbecomes so real but anyway
(38:10):
that's was just an interestingthought I noticed.
SPEAKER_00 (38:15):
Sometimes I think the best work that we do is
simply making people aware thatthey have a mind that there's
commonalities to it but it'spretty much unique to them that
it's functioning largely byhabit and that can change.
And getting in the habit ofobserving your mind observing
(38:40):
your thoughts observing yourmoods questioning yourself these
are you know this is a discoveryof your mind and it's a
beautiful thing and it's auseful thing and it's it's
probably once you search it andspend time with it and examine
it and you know the Buddha spenta lifetime doing that you're
(39:04):
gonna discover who you reallyare and that makes it a really
worthwhile endeavor.
SPEAKER_01 (39:10):
Yeah.
All righty so thank you forjoining us everybody and have a
lovely day and we'll see youlater
All right, we are on the line.
SPEAKER_00 (00:12):
Morning.
Kind of an overcast day over thelake, but it's cold.
Everything's frozen.
Frozen right across.
It usually takes mid-February toget there.
SPEAKER_01 (00:23):
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
It wasn't as bad yesterday.
I thought it was gonna be a nosehair frozen day, crunchy day,
but it wasn't that bad.
SPEAKER_00 (00:34):
It did take a while for me to clean off my car, but
well, in this part of the world,it's suddenly winter.
SPEAKER_01 (00:40):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (00:40):
We're doing something different today,
aren't we?
SPEAKER_01 (00:42):
We are, we're just winging it.
We're always winging it.
It's kind of like we asked ouraudience.
Yes, our live audience, whatthey would like to hear about.
And we heard back someone who isfeeding the birds and about
feeding the mind.
SPEAKER_00 (01:01):
How do you feed the mind?
And that's you know, there's amillion little things we can do,
but I think what we do alwaysflows um from our beliefs about
things.
And I think that what a lot ofpeople believe about their mind
(01:22):
is that it's pretty limited, oruncontrollable.
Yeah, yeah.
Out of control.
Does what it wants to do.
SPEAKER_01 (01:30):
This is what I'm stuck with.
SPEAKER_00 (01:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (01:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:34):
And I think that probably, you know, and just my
humble opinion, that one of thebiggest problems in the world
today is that people have becomemindless.
SPEAKER_01 (01:45):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (01:46):
There's not a lot of use of our minds.
And that part of that happensnaturally from the state of
forgetting that we come here in.
But I think that it has become acultural thing.
We're almost, you know, thatthat Marianne Williamson quote.
(02:08):
We're afraid of ourselves.
We're afraid of what we'recapable of.
We're afraid of what the mindmight be.
SPEAKER_03 (02:15):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (02:16):
We get afraid of our dreams at night.
We get afraid to think outsidethe box.
We get afraid to be wrong.
That's a that's an incrediblekind of limiting training that
we all go through when we'reyoung, is being trained to be
afraid of being wrong.
We're afraid to take chances.
(02:39):
Within that, the mind hasobviously been convinced that
something awful is going tohappen.
So I suppose as a as a firstresponse to the question, I
would say the process of feedingyour mind begins with knowing
that it's bigger than you thinkit is, that a lot of what's in
(02:59):
it is erroneous, it's nothelpful.
And the great news is all ofthat's changeable.
SPEAKER_01 (03:06):
Yeah.
Someone said it's our deepestfears.
Yeah, I, you know, a lot to godown to dreamland, down the path
of dreamland, that's for anotherday.
But yeah, the last couple nightsI've been having like my deepest
fears come out in dreams.
And I wake up and I wonder, whydid I think of that?
(03:28):
Or you know, why did that comeup?
What am I going through that isbringing all this up?
Very odd.
But yeah, the you know, evensometimes thinking the mind is
huge, right?
Is a little scary.
It's like taking it from alittle box to a warehouse
(03:52):
suddenly.
SPEAKER_00 (03:54):
That is an interesting meditation that I've
heard before of yes, seeing yourmind as a box and expanding it
as big as you possibly can.
I think we experience our mindsin these chaotic ways, and that
causes us to prefer to goinward.
(04:19):
I think you know, I've heardthis before, and I've thought it
myself, and I've thought I'msure glad people can't read my
thoughts.
What a mess, what a spectrum ofthoughts that in moments feel
like I'm enlightened.
(04:40):
I've got it, I figured it out.
Holy cow, I'm I I'm I'm there.
SPEAKER_01 (04:45):
And then start rising off the floor.
SPEAKER_00 (04:48):
Crazy, ugly things going through my head that you
know just cause me to just curlin and just like, oh, where did
that come from, Les?
Why are you thinking about that?
Yeah, I think that being honestwith yourself about your mind's
activities is a really great wayto begin the process of feeding
(05:12):
your mind.
SPEAKER_01 (05:13):
Yeah.
In the chat, it said, how do wefeed it the good stuff instead
of the negative stuff?
I sort of have a little bloodprayer for that.
I was thinking beforehand afterthe topic came up.
We tend to look externally.
When we talk about feeding themind, it's usually external.
(05:34):
You know, don't watch the newsor listen to nice music or
listen to meditations.
But I think on top of all that,it's um creating the habit, like
we mentioned the other day,creating the habit of thinking
some good thoughts towardsyourself, creating the habit of,
(05:56):
you know, waking up and I don'tknow, my habit now is sort of
talking to my body, to my soul,thank you for another day, that
kind of stuff.
And it feels nice, right?
And it sort of sort of stickswith me for throughout the day.
Of course, it's not perfect oranything.
(06:16):
I don't know if it's evenpossible for that.
But just creating those thosehabits of saying nice things to
yourself or thinking nicethings.
Not always possible, butstarting the habit is is a good
good way of doing that.
SPEAKER_00 (06:33):
Well, we went to the Canadian Hypnosis Conference.
I took a course with Luke.
I've forgotten Luke's last name.
Luke Howard.
Luke Howard.
And Luke is a mentalist, he's aperformer, he's a he's a stage
hypnotist, but he's also ahypnotherapist.
And he he taught a techniquethat he uses, which is a really
(06:56):
simple way to become lessconcerned about your thoughts.
And it's it's really simple.
And, you know, when we talkabout reframing, one of the most
important aspects of reframing,I think, is remembering that
your thoughts are habits.
What goes on in your mind ishabitual.
(07:18):
We are habit-making beings.
That's how we get efficient,that's how we get effective.
We like habits, we try to buildgood habits, and we built, we've
built the ability to thinknegatively, to anticipate the
negative.
Right?
(07:38):
These are habits.
We anticipate the worst, we planon things going wrong, we think
of these ideas, worrying andsuch, as actually helpful
because we're anticipatingnegative things.
And it I think for me, always,you know, I'm always trying to
(07:59):
understand.
And as hypnotists, I think it'sfundamental to understand where
the thought pattern come from,right?
You go back to the origins ofthe thought pattern and you try
to change it, you try to reframeit.
That's that's really in so manyways just the repetitive nature
of our work.
What makes it interesting, whatmakes it so difficult is that
(08:20):
everyone's mind is unique tothem.
But there are things ineveryone's mind as a result of
our social environment, oursocieties that we grow up in.
Our societies train us to fitin.
And how do you get someone to goto work every day?
(08:44):
How do you get them to get upwhen they don't want to, in the
dark, in the winter, in thecold, get in their car, drive
through a snowstorm to go to aplace where they generally feel
kind of abused, kind ofmistreated.
Like that kind of training isamazing when you think about the
(09:05):
millions of people getting upevery morning and going to work.
This is the society we live in.
The vast majority of thosepeople are being driven by fear,
right?
Fear that they won't haveenough, fear that they need to
fit in, fear that they're notgood people if they don't.
(09:28):
These kinds of fears in us, youknow, are trained in us from the
instant we can walk.
When mom, as soon as we couldwalk, you know, I joke and I say
to my friends at the gym, youknow, we spend the first year
trying to get them to walk andtalk.
And then after that, we're busytelling them to sit down and
shut up.
(09:48):
And that's the kind of thingthat human beings are.
We are moving, interactingbeings.
And from the instant we startdoing that, our parents start to
train us with fear.
So if I'm living in a world thatI fear, it's really smart to
(10:09):
think and anticipate negative.
And that becomes my habit.
So when you say I want to feedit the good stuff and not the
bad stuff, what we're reallysaying is, how do I get out of
my cycles of fear?
That's the way I interpret it.
And I think the first thing isto just say you came upon that
(10:29):
honestly.
That came to you through anatural process of living around
the people that you lived in,and your mind got created.
And in that creation, you havehabits, thought habits.
And that stuff is going on allthe time, right?
(10:49):
It's just going on.
Negative reactions to things allaround you all the time, happens
naturally.
You've been trained, you're wellpracticed.
It comes even to the point wherewe don't want those thoughts
anymore.
Having those thoughts, you startto recognize that they're
bothersome, that they're nothelping, that they're getting
(11:12):
you in an emotional state thatyou don't want to be in.
So then we go back to that firstreframe, right?
I think that's so huge.
It changes everything.
It's the first one, basically,all the time with my clients.
We start there.
I am not my thoughts.
I am the thinker.
And for many people, just that,just that alone, that idea
(11:34):
alone, is food for their mind.
It's the beginning of changingtheir mind.
It's the beginning of saying,I've had enough of this.
I want to do somethingdifferent.
So let's go on to what Luketaught.
Luke, you know, what'll happenis clients will come in and
they'll say, I have theseconstant thoughts about, you
(11:54):
know, being poor.
I have these constant thoughtsabout losing my job.
I have these constant thoughts.
And when we understand thatthat's where they come from,
they come from an honest placewhere somebody loved you and was
teaching you to be careful andcautious and afraid out of their
love for you.
(12:15):
You ask yourself, you know, dodid I create this thought?
And you have a conversation andyou get to the place where the
the person acknowledges that thethought just comes upon them.
We have, you know, 90,000thoughts a day.
(12:36):
The science is really clear, and80% of that is what you thought
yesterday, and 90% of that isnegative, right?
So these thoughts just come uponyou.
When you're aware of them, whenyou when they come upon you and
you can grab a hold of them andbe aware of them, you can change
(12:59):
them.
You can say, I don't want tothink about this, I want to
think about this.
But they're just thoughts.
And that's what's critical.
My habitual thoughts are justthoughts.
They come and they go.
They come without invitation,they go when a new one replaces
it.
They're just thoughts.
And he asked a wonderfulquestion.
(13:20):
I liked it a lot.
Which weighs more?
The thought of 50,000 pounds orthe thought of a feather?
And in truth, they're both justthoughts.
So, what is the weight of athought?
Well, a thought that somethingbad might happen, or a thought
that something good mighthappen.
They're both just thoughts.
(13:43):
They come about habitually,without any effort on your part.
They just arrived.
You didn't invite them.
They're just there.
Now, what if we took thatnegative thought that just flies
up in our face, that one thatcomes up, the one that's often
repeated, one of those, youknow, 50,000 that we just don't
(14:04):
want in a day.
And what if that thought becamethe reminder that I am not my
thoughts?
I am the thinker.
I can choose what I think.
SPEAKER_01 (14:16):
Negative thought would be like an anchor to the
other thought.
SPEAKER_00 (14:21):
It can, yeah, exactly.
It can be the the trigger thatyou use.
Now, this is a habit, right?
You got you're going to want tocreate a habit.
You're going to ask yourself,and this is, I think, so
important.
There's a great book up calledAtomic Habits.
And it's important to know thatit doesn't take that long to
change a habit.
You know, it's a matter ofweeks.
(14:42):
In a in a matter of months, youcan change a habit if you
deliberately do it.
Now, I've always believed, I'vealways experienced, I've always
said, the easiest way to get ridof a bad habit is to replace it
with a good one.
That's the easiest way becauseyou are a habitual being.
You want habits.
And so using a negative thoughtto trigger and provoke and evoke
(15:07):
a positive thought.
You know, the Buddhists talkabout observing their mind.
And I think that's that's reallywhat I'm driving at.
You can learn a lot aboutyourself by observing your mind.
But what you're really learningis your history and your habits.
And when you observe your mind,you start to see how innocently
(15:31):
you've acquired this habit ofthinking this negative thought.
Now, what does it weigh?
It doesn't weigh anything.
It's just a thought.
It weighs no more than any otherthought.
But the truth is, some thoughtsare preferable.
So what would be a preferablethought?
What would be the opposite ofthis thought?
(15:52):
So whenever it comes to worry ornegative anticipation of a
negative outcome, you know, Ithink that you can always go to
the opposite, right?
And the opposite is always I amsafe.
And part of I am safe, and whatI've discovered through working
with people and their fears, isan element of every fear that
(16:16):
people don't articulate, but isthere when you examine the fear
is I am alone.
I am alone in this.
This is up to me.
Yeah, I am alone.
So a fear comes.
Yeah, and fears are a widespectrum of possibilities and a
wide spectrum of degrees.
(16:37):
And you can have a little bit ofanxiety or you can have a
downright panic attack.
And the point is that your fearsare across a large spectrum, and
they can take all kinds ofshapes, but that negative
thought is uninvited, and youallow that.
Well, I didn't create thisthought, I didn't want this
(16:57):
thought, I didn't ask for thisthought.
This thought just came upon melike 50,000 others in a day.
Now I'm going to use thatthought to remind myself I am
not my thoughts.
I am the thinker.
I can change what I think.
And then I can take that thoughtand I can try to find what's the
(17:17):
opposite of this thought.
What would the opposite be?
And I am safe.
I am not alone.
I am never alone is thebeginning.
And then that can lead you tothe positive anticipation of
what good might be sitting therewaiting to happen.
(17:39):
What good things.
I mean, we put a lot of effortto keep negative stuff away, but
keeping negative stuff awayalmost always has a really
positive side to it.
As, you know, something good'sgonna happen, right?
Something wonderful is gonnatake place, you know.
You're holding a dinner partyand you're not sure you got
enough cookies, right?
(18:00):
And and you think, oh my God,should I have gotten bar
cookies?
I need more cookies.
You know, I am safe.
I'm not alone.
This party's gonna go really,really well because it's filled
with wonderful people.
We're going to enjoy whateverfood we have, and it's gonna be
a lot of fun.
I can hardly wait to see, youknow, Mary Joe again.
(18:21):
And Mary Jo is gonna be so muchfun, and we're gonna have such a
great conversation, and she'salways funny, and you know,
Billy Bob's always got a joke.
Isn't that funny?
Billy Bob's always brings a newjoke to every party, is gonna be
so much fun.
And so what happens then is thatidea that, you know, which
weighs more?
A thought of 50,000 pounds or athought of a feather?
(18:44):
Neither weighs more, they'rejust thoughts.
They come and they go, and I canuse them to trigger new, better
thoughts that move my emotionsin the opposite direction.
And so, you know, feeding yourmind, I think starts with
observing it, starts withforgiving yourself for how these
mental habits came about, andthen using techniques to start
(19:08):
to create new habits.
There you go.
SPEAKER_01 (19:12):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (19:13):
Sorry for talking so much.
SPEAKER_01 (19:14):
No, that's I get sucked in.
I'm like, oh yeah.
So that's it, folks.
No, I'm just kidding.
I have uh I've worked with manyclients that feel sort of the
same way, but they express it indifferent ways.
(19:35):
This idea that when they'realone with their emotions, or
sometimes in someone else in theroom, but they feel like they
don't have the capability orwhat it takes to move through
that emotion, and it's justoverwhelming.
And afterwards, after thesessions or a session, they're
(19:57):
like, Well, yeah, I that youknow, I I didn't think I had
that capability, I I didn'tthink I could move through that,
but now I can.
And they think that I didsomething to to make it so that
they could move through that.
And what I like to say to themis like I didn't I didn't
(20:20):
install the capability duringthe session.
You know, I didn't program touse those words sort of loosely,
but we we know what I think I'mtalking about.
But I didn't I didn't sayspecific things so that you
could be able to move throughthose emotions.
We just removed the barriers,right?
(20:41):
The thought patterns, the thethe stuck emotions.
We we worked on releasing those.
The capability is always there.
It's just sometimes when we getthat, you know, that weighted
thought of 50,000 pounds and wefeel it along with emotions and
and feelings.
Yeah, we can sometimes getcaught up in this thought that I
(21:04):
can't deal with this.
I I need to hide under covers, Ineed to just shut down for the
day.
And I think that for the mostpart, we're all born with that
capacity, right?
We're all born with the ability.
It's just to deal with ourthoughts and emotions and think
(21:25):
positive.
But it just it's clouded.
It's clouded.
And I I've and there's barriers,and I've sort of given this
metaphor before, where you'restanding at the end of your
driveway, and let's say yourhouse represents you, your your
abilities, your you as a whole.
(21:49):
And often people feel like theythey've lost themselves.
So imagine this house now isjust covered in fog.
Well, you don't think that thehouse is gone just because
there's fog there, right?
So we remove, we work together,we remove the fog,
metaphorically speaking, and andthen all your natural talents
(22:12):
and abilities and andcapacities, and they all rise to
the top.
And there's so much moreopenness to understanding, oh,
that's what I need to do, or orthis idea just came to me now,
or it just gives you so muchmore breathing room once you
(22:34):
unlock those emotions andrelease most of it or all of it,
just lets you think again,right?
There's no more fog, no morebarriers.
SPEAKER_00 (22:44):
Anyway, that's my uh I think that idea is is huge.
I think the idea, and it's in alot of places in spiritual
texts.
I think that embracing that ideais maybe a great way to feed
your mind.
(23:05):
My natural state is joy andlove.
That is my natural state.
However, I envision the creator,creator made me that way.
We talk about we talk abouthaving hobbies that make us
happy, and I love that idea thatthere's things we can do that
(23:28):
makes us happy.
You know, for me, music doesthat.
Just gotta turn on some music,and it will immediately shift my
mood.
Immediately.
(23:55):
Right?
This is not something that makesme happy.
This is something that isdistracting me, taking me away
from the thoughts that made meunhappy.
And that's just the process ofcomforting, right?
We all do that.
Let's get a blanket, I'll feelbetter.
Let's have some potato chips,that'll feel better.
Let's put on some music, I'llfeel better.
Let's watch Ted Lasso, I'll feelbetter.
(24:18):
Right?
These are all attempts tocomfort our otherwise
systematic, repetitive,habitual, out of control, not
even ours, negative thoughts.
And so to think about somethingmaking you happy, I think is a
confusion.
(24:39):
It's better to think of it asthis removes that which is
blocking my natural state.
Like you say, the fog or theclouds in the sky.
The sun's always there, but theclouds in the sky get in the
way.
To think of it in those terms,my natural state is joy.
My natural state is excitementand curiosity.
(25:00):
My natural processes arecreativity and active choice.
And what I have instead is avery elaborate, systematic
training filled with reasons whyI should be afraid.
And that is keeping me away.
That is blocking, that isinterfering with my natural
(25:23):
state of joy.
And that's okay.
Because what you can do isremove the clouds, blow the fog
away, recognize that you can dosomething that eliminates those
thoughts.
So to me, I think one of theincredible new thoughts, an
incredible new reframe you canlook at is to remember when
(25:47):
you're at your worst, whenyou're feeling the most upset.
You know, I get there, and thisis the new technique I've been
using for about eight monthsnow, and it's why it's right top
of mind.
And why when you started talkingabout the fog, I just thought
that was beautiful.
Joy is my natural state.
What's going on here?
(26:08):
Joy is my natural state.
What's going on in my mind herethat's interfering with that?
And then maybe I need to choosedifferently.
Maybe I need to start choosingmy thing.
That's when I can kick in, youknow.
I'm not my thoughts, I'm thethinker.
I can think whatever I want.
But joy is my natural state.
So what's going on here issomething's interfering with
(26:29):
that rather than how do I makemyself joyful?
How do I make myself happy?
Right?
It's something is interfering.
Sometimes those thoughts arevery present and they're very
real, and there's realconditions that need to be
addressed.
And one of the worst things wedo is we don't address them.
(26:50):
We spend our time in thefeeling, the negative feeling,
and then we don't address thething that would actually
alleviate the feeling because wemaybe don't feel we can, or we
feel alone, or we're not surehow to do it.
This is where I think help comesin.
This is the importance of help.
This is the importance ofturning to somebody close and
saying, I need some help withthis.
(27:11):
I'm caught up in these thoughts.
I'm afraid of this.
I need some help with that.
But sometimes we can come upwith the answer ourselves.
And the only response then is todo it.
Do it as quickly as you can.
Get it done, right?
Just get on with it.
Just say, yeah, this is thething that's interfering with my
(27:31):
happiness.
This is the thing that'sinhibiting my joy.
I want to address it.
And I want to address it now.
Now, I think that asking forhelp and being with others is an
important part of that.
But I think it's important tosee that my natural state of is
joy, and the thing interferingwith that is the way I'm using
(27:54):
my mind, the way I aminterpreting the situation in
front of me.
And I think it's important totake ownership of that.
Otherwise, you're just going touse this technique to go around
blaming everybody.
SPEAKER_01 (28:05):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (28:06):
I didn't think of that yet.
I'm going to go around and blameeverything and everybody and all
the situations and my whole lifeis all to blame why I'm unhappy.
Um, joy is our natural state,there are things that we can do
to bring that forward.
SPEAKER_01 (28:20):
Yeah.
Also, too, something that I'vestarted to use in sessions, and
it's it's bringing up right awaythe the core of what's going on.
So normally, or in the past,let's say I would take people
(28:40):
through, you know, the streamtechnique, and then, you know,
can you feel that emotion in thebody anymore?
Yes, okay, let's stream it out.
Like let's get it out into thestream or pluck it out of the
body.
Just imagine it coming out.
And then once we're down to thelittle bits that are left,
usually what I'll say is, okay,imagine that's a marble and just
(29:04):
pluck that out of the body,right?
Like pull it out in front ofyou.
It floats in the air there.
And what message does it havefor you?
And nine times out of 10, themessage is lovely.
And I'm thinking, wow, isn'tthat fascinating that an emotion
(29:24):
can have a good message for you?
Right.
And so I started thinkingthough, well, what why is it
hurting then?
Like what's going on?
What's the other side to this?
What if it has such a nicemessage?
What's the other part of it?
And so I've started askingpeople.
I've started asking the them toask the emotion, why does this
(29:48):
hurt so much then?
If that's if that's yourmessage, what's going on, right?
Why is this paining me?
And they're answering.
The emotion is answering andgiving.
the ultimate belief that they'reholding on to.
It's quite fascinating.
So next time you pluck out ofemotion, ask what's your
(30:12):
message?
And why is this causing me griefor pain or hurt?
Like, you know, why is my mystomach all feeling terrible?
Or why do I have this pressurein my chest or throat or
whatever?
If it's such a nice message, youknow what's going on deeper
(30:34):
here?
SPEAKER_00 (30:36):
So yeah, how do I feed my mind?
Well I think first I understandit a little bit better.
Right?
It's just like any kind ofnutrition, right?
It's you know you you goats eatanything, right?
But you shouldn't.
And it's understanding whatnutrition is that causes you to
(31:00):
choose to take care of yourselfwith good food.
It's in understanding where ournegative thoughts come from and
deciding that we want somethingdifferent and picking the things
that feed our mind knowing thatwhat we're really trying to do
(31:24):
is stop a flow of thoughts thatare interfering with your
natural state of joy.
And that's why you know we couldhave answered this I think we we
could have answered this topicquickly with oh I'll listen to
music, read a book, watch TV,right?
But that's not that's notunderstanding the situation at
(31:46):
all.
That's not recognizing how themind comes about and how it's
shaped and what its habits are.
And that's more importantbecause then we can choose the
nutrition that we want for themind.
We can be more deliberate and wecan be more specific.
I think one last point I wouldmake is that you know thoughts
(32:10):
are like trains.
They attach on to thoughts likethem and then they start going
really fast.
They're really hard to steerthey're really hard to slow down
they're really hard to stop.
And I think it's important tosee that habitual continuous
nature of thoughts and do thingsthat literally break that
(32:34):
process.
Right?
There's a there's some loosescience out there that suggests
if you hold a thought for 15 to17 seconds, it will be joined by
a thought of very similarmeaning and vibration.
And that when you spend 64seconds on a thought you're now
(32:55):
absolutely shifting your mindand your body right and so these
these negative thought trainsthat come upon us, we have to I
think it's good to see them thatway.
This is a train right it's on atrack it's going for me to just
say stop right now is probablypretty tough.
(33:18):
Right.
But there are methods that youcan use to slow that train down
to change what's on that trainbut I think it starts with
understanding that this is thatthis is a this is a train this
is a collection of thoughts thathave momentum that are
(33:40):
duplicating themselves andfeeding themselves with the
emotional state that they arecreating.
It's hard to feel in a negativestate and have a positive
thought.
In fact we can often you know bein a negative state and think of
something positive and turn thatpositive thing negative that's
(34:02):
the power of the train.
So to me what's really importantis to find a way to reset.
And resets can be sleep resetscan be music but some of the
absolute best resets arephysical activity.
Physical activity engages thedeep unconscious mind as well as
(34:26):
the subconscious mind.
So for people who have hobbiesfor people who have sports and
gyms to go to for people whohave projects that they want to
engage oftentimes they will puta stop to the train and begin to
(34:47):
build a new train.
Watching a movie you know thisis why I think you know we are
obsessed with TV TV grabs allyour senses and takes it in the
direction of a story.
And I really believe thatsometimes like I do it when my
mind is just sort of lost in itsmess yeah I'll turn on the TV
(35:10):
and I'll watch a comedian talkor I'll watch a funny movie,
right?
I really think there's value inthat you know we've said for for
for millennia, you know,laughter is the best medicine
and I believe in the truth ofthat so sometimes when that
train is just going and you'renot able to stop it, yeah, you
(35:32):
can turn to some of thesecomforting mechanisms and just
with the idea, with theintention of breaking the
thought train, thinking being soabsorbed in something else and
physical is really helpful.
SPEAKER_03 (35:47):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (35:47):
Because it involves all parts of your mind and gets
you fully focused on somethingelse.
So you know if you're feedingyour mind and your mind is in it
one of its negative habits andyou're finding it really hard
because the train has a lot ofmomentum, these are some of the
more extreme things you can doexercise, immersive experiences
(36:09):
some for some people just gooutside, right?
To go from inside to outside issort of that all sensory shift
that breaks the train andcreates the opportunity for
something else.
SPEAKER_01 (36:22):
Yeah before we log off today something came to me
while we were speaking the otherday we were talking about how we
think you and I think right thedifferences and stuff.
And I thought this was kind ofinteresting and probably crosses
into everybody's thoughtpatterns.
So I'm very visual right I Idon't I don't want to say like I
(36:45):
don't have a lot of thoughtgoing on up there.
But I have thoughts in half halfmade sentences and I think okay
well if I say this sentencemaybe some you know I'll I'll
continue talking something willcome out I'm sure I guess is
good for channeling at themoment but what I noticed while
(37:06):
we were talking and I wasthinking about my thoughts is I
am very able to create sentencesin my mind when I am highly
emotional.
So like you know anger sadnessfrustration even happiness right
(37:29):
joy.
So when there's emotion attachedsuddenly it's like things get
really loud in there right andso anyway just something to
ponder what is that you knowit's could be a whole other
podcast but why does the emotionmake suddenly everything really
(37:50):
real right oh I must I'm I havethis deep thought over and over
and over again it must be realyou know especially when we get
caught up in those like angercycles or you know sad cycles or
hurt you know it just allbecomes so real but anyway
(38:10):
that's was just an interestingthought I noticed.
SPEAKER_00 (38:15):
Sometimes I think the best work that we do is
simply making people aware thatthey have a mind that there's
commonalities to it but it'spretty much unique to them that
it's functioning largely byhabit and that can change.
And getting in the habit ofobserving your mind observing
(38:40):
your thoughts observing yourmoods questioning yourself these
are you know this is a discoveryof your mind and it's a
beautiful thing and it's auseful thing and it's it's
probably once you search it andspend time with it and examine
it and you know the Buddha spenta lifetime doing that you're
(39:04):
gonna discover who you reallyare and that makes it a really
worthwhile endeavor.
SPEAKER_01 (39:10):
Yeah.
All righty so thank you forjoining us everybody and have a
lovely day and we'll see youlater
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.