#124 – Looking Back at 2024 and Season 5 of the College Parent Central Podcast

This is the time of year when we reflect on the year and another season of the College Parent Central podcast. It’s been a busy year for all of our cohosts, Vicki, Lynn, Elizabeth and Sarah. It’s always fun to get all of us together to share thoughts and stories, but our schedules just wouldn’t allow that to happen this year. So Vicki had a conversation with each of our cohosts and we share those conversations in this episode. We take a look at what’s happening in higher education, our favorite book/article/podcast recommendations for parents, and we offer some New Year’s resolutions for parents and students. It’s time to look back – and to look ahead. Can’t wait to get started on Season 6!

Thank you for listening!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
Whether your child is justbeginning the college admission
process or is already in college, this podcast is for you.
You'll find food for thoughtand information about college
and about navigating thatdelicate balance of guidance,
involvement and knowing when toget out of the way.

(00:31):
Join your hosts as they sharesupport and a celebration of the
amazing experience of having achild in college.

Speaker 2 (00:44):
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
This is the place where we talkabout everything that has to do
with parenting a student who'sin college parenting students
who are thinking about collegeand getting ready for college,
sometimes even those studentswho are finishing up college and
launching out into the world.
My name is Vicki Nelson and Iam one of the co-hosts of this

(01:08):
podcast.
I'm the parent of threedaughters and also a college
professor of communication, so Iwork with students all the time
who are in college, and this isa little bit of a different
episode.
Today.
This is the final episode of2024 and the final episode of

(01:29):
season five of the CollegeParent Central podcast.
I'm here by myself, but I havethree co-hosts and our hope for
this episode was that we couldall get together and talk a
little bit about what's happenedover the last year and what
we're looking forward to nextyear.
But we are very busy people andit was impossible for us to all

(01:54):
find the same time in ourschedules of teaching and
working with students and thethings that we do to all be
together.
So what we have done is hadsome separate conversations.
I spoke for a few minutes witheach of my co-hosts and asked
them to look backward andforward, and I'm going to share
with you today thoseconversations.

(02:16):
So I talked first to ElizabethHamblett and we will hear from
her, and then I had a chat withLynn Abrahams to hear a little
bit about what she was thinking,and finally with Sarah Shane,
and then at the end, I'll throwin my two cents about a couple

(02:36):
of thoughts.
So we hope you enjoy a chanceto look back and think about
what we're seeing in the worldof higher education and to think
about what might be ahead.
So here we are, finally gettingtogether to touch bases a little
bit, and I'm here withElizabeth Hamblett to talk a

(02:57):
little bit about the past year.
We're doing this in little bitsand pieces because we're all so
busy.
We're doing this in little bitsand pieces because we're all so
busy we haven't been able tofind a time when four co-hosts
could be online at the same time.
So individual conversations.
Elizabeth, how are you?

Speaker 3 (03:14):
I'm okay.
It has been a long semester,Vicki.
How?

Speaker 2 (03:18):
are you?
Yeah Well, it's really not fairto ask anybody who works in
higher ed how you are aboutthree weeks before the end of
the semester, because we neverhave anything good to say at
that point.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
It's not our best time.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
And it's.
You know it's hard for me torealize that it has been almost
a full year since we puttogether this little group of
co-hosts to work together, puttogether this little group of
co-hosts to work together, andit's also it's the end of the
calendar year getting close, butnot the end of the academic
year, so we kind of have funny,funny things going on.

(03:57):
But I thought it might be.
You know, it's always fun toreflect a little bit about what
the past year has been and thinka little bit about ahead and
kind of what messages.
So what do you think In thepast year-ish, have you seen any
trends?

(04:18):
You've worked with students andI know you do these webinars
and workshops and things forparents.
Are you hearing any messages orseeing what's happening?
What's going on?

Speaker 3 (04:34):
What is going on?
That's a good question.
I think it's a couple of thingsand they're sort of big out

(05:03):
there.
I do think that maybe you know,frankly, the price of college
and you know the exhaustion Ithink a lot of students are
feeling, it seems and this isjust anecdotal that maybe there
isn't as much in some places ofthis feel like, oh my gosh,

(05:24):
you've got to go right away andyou know, there, there isn't any
time to wait, I don't know.
So maybe it's just the the, thesort of corners of the internet
that I'm in.
You know, I don't really work.
I don't.
I don't work with families Inmy professional community of
college disability services.

(05:44):
Folks In my professionalcommunity of college disability

(06:08):
services folks, I do think,understand themselves to be
required to now set up hybridlearning environments, you know,
for students who would likethat and you know, again, there
are probably some anecdotesabout places where that's
happening but even for studentswith disabilities, it's not
necessarily something that wehave to, you know, now provide,

(06:29):
and so there's some tensionthere about, you know, students
having gotten used to a certainamount of flexibility.
I think I see that withdeadlines.
You know, and again I even hearthis about, you know, students
without disabilities,neurotypical students, having
gotten used to just kind ofhaving as much time as they need
.
So is it growing pains, wouldwe call it?

(06:52):
I'm not really sure, but it's areturn to sort of previous
business practices, maybe withsome adjustments.

Speaker 2 (07:03):
Well, I wonder how flexible we're going to be.
You know, we being on the otherside of the desk, so to speak.
You know, as you talk aboutdeadlines, you know, are we
going to get them to understandthat deadlines mean deadlines or
are we going to start to be alittle more flexible with our
deadlines?
We'll see.
It always surprises me when I'mtalking to students in my

(07:27):
classes that these students thatare coming in now were in
middle school for COVID.
So it hit them at a verydifferent time in their lives
than the ones we've had in thelast couple of years who lost
their last year or two of highschool.
And you know, I wonder, asyou're talking about people

(07:52):
thinking, you know maybe aboutgap years and that, whether
we're going to also start tofeel the effects of students who
opt out of college altogetherand more trade schools or
non-degree professionals of somekind.

Speaker 3 (08:11):
We'll see, you know, and it may be just like the
smart people, like theprofessionals that I'm listening
to and reading who are talkingabout this.
So you know, I think, listen weknow a lot more about the
development of the brain than wedid back in the 80s when.
I was in college and there arepeople and I have worked with

(08:33):
some of them who maybe startcollege at traditional age and
it doesn't work out well andcome back after their prefrontal
cortex is fully developed.
So I'm always sort of standinghere thinking, well, a gap year
is great, but boy, wouldn't itbe better if we waited for the

(08:56):
brain to mature even more beforeall of our students kind of
head into this?
And I think too, mental healthcontinues to be a theme among,
you know, adults and collegestudents.
So learning how to take care ofourselves, and obviously there
are still a lot of communitieswhere there's a lot of social

(09:17):
pressure to go to college.
Go to the one of the 50colleges anybody's ever heard of
with very high rejection rates,and so you know, hoping, hoping
, those forces sort of talk toeach other, so to speak.

Speaker 2 (09:31):
Yeah, Well, we'll see in a year what we're saying
about, about next year, Right?
So then the other question, ofcourse, because we always like
to talk about books and podcasts, because we think podcasts are
a good thing, Are there any?

(09:53):
You know, thinking about what'sout there now, what you've read
books, articles, podcasts.
If you could recommend one ortwo things right now for parents
, what would they be?

Speaker 3 (10:07):
Well, I think you know, focused on this notion,
I've been talking about tryingto take a more considered
approach to college admissions,even though it's not necessarily
about college.
I am just such a huge fan ofthe Self-Driven Child by Ned
Johnson and Bill Stixrud.

(10:27):
No matter what your kid isplanning to do after college, I
just think it's such goodguidance about how to support
your student and help themdevelop their confidence and
competence.
And I just love this book.
I talk about it all the time.
You know helps parents kind ofunderstand what causes anxiety

(10:51):
in themselves and their studentsand, you know, take it a
different approach.
I love Bright Kids who Couldn'tCare Less by my friend, ellen
Broughton, and that'sB-R-A-A-T-E-N.
She's a psychologist whostudies processing speed and in

(11:13):
writing her previous book aboutstudents called Bright Kids who
Can't Keep Up, she noticed thatwhen looking at students with
processing speed problems shewas also noticing problems with
motivation.
And you know I always think ofher book and Ned's as sort of
cousins, if you will, as far astalking about how you know,

(11:36):
being parents who respond to alack of motivation by coming
down even harder isn't reallythe right approach to this.
So that's a great book and, asalways if we're talking about
parents of high school seniors,got to get Harlan Cohen's Naked
Roommate in there and he's got aversion just for parents too.

(11:58):
That's a classic it is.
It's so good and you know.
Then listen to Harlan's podcast.
Ned has his own podcast.
Ellen appears on a lot of them.
You know there's just so manygood people out there.
Rick and Brennan Barnard havetheir Truth About College

(12:21):
Admissions podcast that I thinkyou know.
They have a wonderful book bythe same name and it's.
They interview variousprofessionals and kind of try to
provide a peek behind thescenes of the admission process
and also remind people thatthere's sort of there's a
college for everybody and theimportance of fit and match.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
So we will put the list, everybody's list, in the
show notes.
Yeah, Cause I think one of thethings in all of these books in
in reading them, whichever one'sappeal, and that people pick up
is really just realizing thatthey're not alone.
People pick up is really justrealizing that they're not alone

(13:10):
.
I remember reading years agowhen Jeffrey Arnett came out
with the emerging adulthood andthat idea that you know, there's
this new phase betweenadolescence and adulthood that
goes up to age from like 18 to27.
And I just I remember readingthe book and saying he knows my

(13:30):
kids.
I think he interviewed my kidsfor this book because it was so
exactly on the mark and itreally opened up my eyes and
helped me realize, oh, what'sgoing on in our family, what's
going on with my kids is a thing, it's real.
So I think you know that's partof why we like to recommend

(13:54):
books all the time for parents.
So, because this is coming outright around New Year's, a
little before New Year's,Everybody's thinking about
resolutions.
If you could give one NewYear's resolution to parents of
high school or college students,what would it be?

Speaker 3 (14:15):
I think it would be to you know, remind yourself
that it's going to be okay.
Remind yourself that it's goingto be okay.
I think that you know, and youknow for some parents and their
students it may not be okay,whatever it is.
You know whether they'restruggling at college right now,
but that that moment thatthey're in right now is probably

(14:39):
not predictive of your studentsentire life.
You know, you and I I thinkboth probably talked to a lot of
students over many years whosometimes have difficulty
getting started and they comeback and things are better.
Or you know people who justbarely made it through and went

(14:59):
on to find something that theyreally like.
But life is long and that isthat the good news or the bad
news.
I think we put so much pressureon these four years and you know
it's not the world, at least ofour parents, where you get out
of college and you go to a joband you're in that job for 35
years and, ha ha, you get apension when you retire.

(15:23):
You know that world doesn'texist, and so I think students
are getting smarter aboutrealizing they don't know what
they want to do, and I think weneed to allow them some space to
figure that out, or recognizethat the first job that they
have out of college you knowwhich then for some people is
all about the major that theytake is not going to be probably

(15:45):
the job that they stay in.
And you know it's hard to saythat because this podcast host
once said this and it reallystuck with me the cost of
college is life altering, and sothis is a very expensive
education that we're talkingabout.
But you know, to the point of alot of the people that I follow
, you know and read, there arelots and lots of colleges and

(16:08):
they're not all as expensive assome others, and so, if that is
a concern, those are discussionsto have.
But you know, 18 is so, soyoung, and it's to say to these
young people oops, sorry, youneed to figure out now what you
want to do.
What's your passion?
I mean, yikes, most peopledon't have a passion ever, and

(16:31):
the passion they have at 18might not even be the same one
they have at 19.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
Yes, or 20 or 21.
And so many change majors overand over again and that's fine.
So you maybe have already kindof said it I was going to ask
you if you had a resolution youwould give to students, but I
think you kind of doubled upthere.

(16:58):
As parents are thinking aboutthe long road, for students to
also think about that long roadand not put the pressure on
themselves, unless there'ssomething else you would tell
students to resolve for the newyear.

Speaker 3 (17:15):
No, and I think that message too, of it's going to be
okay, it's going to be okay,it's a good one you know it's a
good one.
It's lots of.
You know.
There may be comfort in knowinga lot of people start and and
don't keep going from thatmoment of of starting but come
back to it or find somethingelse, and so I think things can

(17:37):
feel so, you know, monumental,like I've made this choice and
this is the thing I have to do,and then I have to commit to
that and that's what I'm lockedinto and I just don't think life
is that rigid anymore if itever was, and perhaps it's just
because I'm speaking as somebodywho started wanting to be an

(17:59):
English teacher and then theyweren't hiring English teachers,
even after I got my master'sdegree, and then I started doing
something else and then I wentback to school, so I'd got a
special ed degree and then Istarted working at a college.
So I mean, my path was very,very windy and I love what I'm
doing now.
It didn't always, but you know,over time there were things

(18:24):
that I did that weren't as muchfun as what I enjoy doing now.
But, like it's okay.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
Yeah, and we all really have those paths.
I remember one time we had acareer fair at the school.
You know all of these employerscame in and set up their tables
and you know it was a packedgym and, as you do at these
things, everybody had a name tagon.
But they had everybody puttheir name on and what their

(18:54):
college major was, and it was sofunny to see how many people
had this major that hadabsolutely nothing to do with
what they were doing at the time.
So, yeah, good advice.
So last thing, just to thinkabout what are you looking

(19:15):
forward to next year, again,personally, professionally, who
are you hoping to talk to andlearn from, or what do you want
to do?

Speaker 3 (19:25):
Well, you and I have started you know, started before
this conversation a list that Ithink we'll just keep our
little secret for now, but wehave some good ideas for who to
talk to next for the podcast.
I've been thinking about takingup knitting.
Oh, I know, I think it couldhelp take me off of doom

(19:45):
scrolling, give me something todo with my hands while I watch
TV.
So I have concerns about what aknitted object that I would
create would look like.

Speaker 2 (19:57):
So next time I see you I should, I'll see this
wonderful new sweater, or scarf,at least.

Speaker 3 (20:05):
Maybe a potholder that does or does not have four
even sides.
I would like to set that barreally low.
I will continue my baguettebaking journey.
I'm still trying to work outthe kinks with the first batch
being nicely browned andsubsequent ones not.
So send in your recommendations, folks.

(20:29):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
And then, when you get that baguette process down,
we need to put a picture in thepodcast newsletter that we send
out every month so that we cansee.
Lynn has a couple of timesshown off her sourdough bread
and I had one of my sourdoughbread, so we'll be the bread

(20:54):
baking college parent centralpeople.

Speaker 3 (20:59):
I would like to be the person who makes everybody
feel a lot better aboutthemselves and more comfortable
about failures.

Speaker 1 (21:05):
So that would be my role.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Well, my sourdough does that for everybody.
So, we're fine.
That's great.
It's good to talk to you andsee you and you know, in a
little more casual context thanwhen we are doing a formal
podcast interview and and wishyou happy holidays.

Speaker 3 (21:28):
Thank you and to you too, looking forward to new
ideas for next year.

Speaker 2 (21:32):
Can't wait.
Hi Lynn, hi Vicki, here we areagain.
We're talking individually thisyear because it's great to have
four co-hosts all working onthe podcast, but getting four of
us in one place at a time itdoesn't work.

(21:53):
But, lynn, it dawned on me thisis the fifth year in review
that you and I are doing thatyou and I are doing Unbelievable
it is.

Speaker 5 (22:04):
I still remember you talking me into this and I
wasn't sure, but you talked meinto it and there we went, and
the rest is history.

Speaker 2 (22:15):
We've been at it for five years.
I never would have believed it.
And this is episode 124.

Speaker 5 (22:26):
Unbelievable, so fabulous.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
It's a lot of episodes, that's a lot of
information, it's a lot ofreally interesting and fun
conversations that we've beenable to have.
So what we're doing this yearis kind of doing some individual
year in review and thinkingabout what's past, what's coming
up, kind of, you know, tryingto have the conversations be a

(22:54):
little bit similar.
So I mean, this is almost likeI'm interviewing you.
This is very strange.
I did do that one time for theepisode that we had on executive
function, which was sointeresting.
I learned so much from you.
So, since this is year in view,yep.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
I'm ready Looking back?

Speaker 2 (23:18):
Yeah, looking back.
What do you think?
Do you have a takeaway from thepast year or an observation of
things happening in higher ed,or what you've seen or heard in
working with students?
The trends, I don't know.
What do you think?

Speaker 5 (23:35):
Well, you know, first of all, you know, things are
definitely different for mepersonally.
Personally, I'm not full-timeanymore, working at Curry
College, I know, and I havestepped back and I'm working

(23:56):
with some individual families.
So it's a different world forme.
But I do see, especially in thelast I mean this is actually
fairly recent some shifts thatare happening.
I work with one family right now, who the student is an

(24:20):
international student and hebecame very worried that
something would happen with hisvisa, that he wouldn't be able
to stay here in the States tostudy, and that's really a
different layer of concern thatmost students don't have, right
right.

(24:41):
But there are a lot ofinternational students in you
know who come to the States andyou know I I believe that it
helps not just you know, thestudents who are coming here.
I think it the flavor of thecollege and it's exciting to be

(25:07):
in school as an American kid,you know with folks from all
over the world.
So that's exciting and my youknow take on some of the shifts
that are happening is that it'salways going to be a popular
thing for kids to come to theStates.
As I explained to my student, Idon't think he has anything to

(25:31):
worry about.
I think students are welcomefrom all over the world here in
the States and that's not goingto change in the next few years.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
I think you're right.
It's good for thoseinternational students, but it's
also good for our students aswell.

Speaker 5 (25:53):
It's so good for our students to get exposure to
different kids, and that'spartially what college does for
our students.
It gives them a view into whatit's like to be from another
culture, and culture meaningeven just different families, is

(26:13):
you know, a different familyculture or different parts of
the country?

Speaker 1 (26:18):
Right, even within our country.

Speaker 5 (26:20):
Right Even.
You know students, you knowfrom California and you know
Kansas and all over the placemixing.
So that's and I see that that isone of the benefits of higher
ed in general.
And I believe and I don't knowif this is going to happen, but

(26:45):
I really do believe that smallcolleges in particular need to
expand programming into morecertificate programs, Because
some of our students really dowant a shorter amount of time in
college, they want a hands-onskill and they want to leave
with some support in terms ofjob hunting.

(27:08):
So I'm hoping that smallfour-year liberal arts colleges
like the one we're comfortablewe're in, will expand a little
into certificate programs.

Speaker 2 (27:23):
That's going to be something to watch, because I
think you're.
I think you're right.
I think that different kindsnot everyone wants the
traditional four-year bachelor'sdegree and so figuring out how
to deliver different kinds ofexperiences for different people
, we'll have to keep our eye onthat.

(27:46):
There may be an episode on thatsomewhere along the line.

Speaker 5 (27:49):
Good, I hope there are things to talk about.
Yeah, you know in that.

Speaker 2 (27:53):
I bet there will be.
We'll see what happens.
So then, the next thing I wantto ask you has got to be your
favorite thing, because it's thething we always ask all of our
guests and we have.
But you know, thinking backover what you've read over the
last year or seen or heardwhether it's articles, books,

(28:16):
podcasts what would be one ortwo that you would put top of
the list, that you would besidesCollege Parent Central podcast,
Of course, of course, of course, that you would put top of the
list for you would besidesCollege Parents Central podcast.
Of course, of course, of courseyou would put top of the list
for parents to be helpful.

Speaker 5 (28:31):
Okay, well, I feel like such a guest on the podcast
, because you're asking me thisquestion and it's the question
that I usually ask everybody.

Speaker 2 (28:40):
And we have to keep you to one or two.
Yes, because I know youprobably have a list of 10.

Speaker 5 (28:46):
I do, but I'm going to keep it very small.
First of all, the most recentexciting book for me was Lindsay
Cormack's book how to Raise aCitizen.

(29:06):
We had the honor ofinterviewing her recently.
It was such a different topic Idon't think, in terms of
parenting, the idea of teachingour kids about government and
civics, it of the, it's just notthe first thing that comes to

(29:27):
mind.
And yet, given all the changesin our country, given the fact
that high schools or schools arenot spending really enough time
teaching our kids about USgovernment, teaching our kids
about US government, US politics, it just was so exciting to

(29:51):
have this book pop out at theright time and so easy to
understand.
Half the book is about why thisis important and half the book
is actually the material that weneed to be teaching our kids
which we don't know.

Speaker 2 (30:04):
She slipped that in there because she knows that
it's hard to say okay, I've gotto help my student understand
this if I don't know it.
And so it's a nice way to do alittle cramming on a few of the
things that you're not as sureabout.
That episode was really I mean,that's hot off the press.
That was the last episode thatwe did so.
Episode was really I mean,that's hot off the press.

(30:25):
That was the last episode thatwe did so.
That was episode 123.
And she made it clear that it'snever too late.
So I really liked that aspectof the book too that she started
with how to start when they'reyoung and teach them but, if, if
, if what you have now is a highschool student or a college

(30:47):
student, it's not too late tostart thinking about how to have
some of those conversations.

Speaker 5 (30:53):
Yeah, and even when you're an adult and in your
forties or fifties, it's not toolate to learn.
So, um, yeah.

Speaker 1 (31:03):
So that's so, that's one that book.

Speaker 5 (31:06):
The other thing is a um.
It's actually probably awebsite, that um, and it's a
friend of mine.
So I'm, I'm, I'm bringing upsomebody who I, who I respect a
lot, and, um, this is a collegecounselor who works with
students with learningdifferences, and it's Judy Bass

(31:29):
and she is from the Washingtonarea, maryland, but of course
everything's online.
But anyways, her website or her, I guess you could just look up
Judy Bass.
Her company is called the BassEducational Services, but what

(31:50):
she has started doing in thelast couple of years is having
articles and she has articlesabout really interesting things
that do connect with studentswho have learning differences,
but also all students.

(32:10):
The one that I just read in herlast sort of.
She sends out these emails, butthe last one was about.
It was an article called theImportance of being College
Capable Before being CollegeReady, and it's written by a guy

(32:35):
named Jonathan Steele who is acollege counselor, and he talks
about the difference betweencollege ready is pretty much
academics, you know, are youready to do the reading and do
the writing?
But college capable is allabout living on a college campus

(32:55):
and managing your life as acollege student, and that is
such a different thing than theacademic piece, and you and I do
talk about this a lot, and soit was nice to see an article
written that really explained itto the point where he gives
questions to ask for parentsabout whether their kids are

(33:20):
college capable, and it's donein a really respectful way.
It's really well done.
But anyways, I think parentsshould look up Bass Educational
Services and they'll see these.
A series of articles everymonth comes out.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
So I'm sure if they go to the website they can sign
up to be on the newsletter, theemail, and get more of that.
And we actually talked to Judy.
Yes, we interviewed her she wasa guest on the podcast and that
was way back in Episode 74.
So if people would like to hearmore from her and then the show

(34:02):
notes for that episode wouldalso have her website, and that
sounds like a great article Good.

Speaker 5 (34:11):
Good stuff there's so much good stuff out there.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
I know, and that's why it was hard to say, okay,
only one or two.
You can't talk about 10.

Speaker 5 (34:20):
It's important also for parents not to be
overwhelmed by all the stuff outthere.
And that's why I think you andI and this podcast provides a
service, because we go throughall this stuff and then we
recommend what we think you knowthe top of the so we do some
curating and then parents canExactly, and the College Parents

(34:42):
Central website under resourceshas, if you want, more than
just the curated ones.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
It has a long, long list of all of the books and
resources that really that werecommend.
You can't recommend everythingequally, but there's a long list
there under resources on thewebsite.

Speaker 5 (35:06):
We're all readers.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
So this is coming out in December.
We only do one episode inDecember because we need a
little break and it's theholidays, but so I'm thinking
ahead about New Year's, and NewYear's is all about resolutions,
some of which we keep and someof which we don't.
But what would you say would beone New Year's resolution that

(35:32):
you would give to or wouldsuggest to parents?

Speaker 5 (35:39):
Well, this is something that I talk about a
lot You've heard me say this,but it just seems really
important to me and that I thinkthat, as parents, we need to
take good care of ourselves andwe need to make ourselves high
priority as parents.

(36:00):
When we're worried about ourkids, it is so easy to put
ourselves on the side burner and, just, you know, hyper-focus on
our kids who were, you know, ifwe're concerned about them or
worried about something.
But the best thing we can do ismodel to our kids, taking good
care of ourselves.
You know, I've started in thelast couple of years, I've

(36:23):
started meditating and you knowI don't.
Everybody's got to find theirown thing, you know, and it may
not be a better parent as wellas just be a happier person.

(36:52):
So, you've heard me talk aboutthat.

Speaker 1 (36:54):
I think before about taking care of ourselves.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
You're consistent and it's an important idea that we
do get caught up and we forgetabout that, especially if we
have worries and we all haveworries Sure.
So then that's for parents.
What would you tell students ifyou could give them one New

(37:19):
Year's resolution?

Speaker 5 (37:22):
So for students this is going to be a kind of an odd
one, um, but when I think of mystudents, what I want to say to
them is to listen to their ownintuition, to their own gut,

(37:42):
which sort of means don't listento your parents first?
You know, like you're sure yourparents that everything's okay.
But when push comes to shove,it's you who needs to feel
comfortable with decisions thatyou're making, and I have had

(38:04):
this conversation with a numberof students.
You know to, you know, rememberthat you, you count in here.
And, for example, if you knowyou love graphic design but your
parents want you to do business, you know you got to go.
Maybe there's some you knowcombination of things, but

(38:25):
you've got to go.
Maybe there's some combinationof things, but you've got to
honor your own self.
And it's easier said than done,for students, for kids who love
their parents and want to pleasetheir parents.
It is hard to do.

Speaker 2 (38:42):
But it also requires some soul searching.
You can't do it on a surfacelevel, or you can, but it
doesn't work out as well if it'son the surface level.
Oh, I just want to do this, Idon't want to do that.
But it really requires makingsome effort to know yourself

(39:04):
well enough that this really isthe right thing for you.
So that's a good resolution.
That is going to require somework.

Speaker 5 (39:15):
Well, growing up requires some work, you know,
yeah, and it is, you know, butit pays off, because then, you
know, I think that students willfeel a little bit more
confident.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
And it's authentic and real.
Right.

Speaker 1 (39:36):
Right.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
So last one, thinking ahead, because you know we look
back and then the resolutionsare looking ahead.
Yeah, what are you lookingforward to in the next year?
Professionally, personally,reading, thinking, doing.

Speaker 5 (40:00):
I'm very excited about stepping back from the
parts of my job that are morerequirements and stepping
forward into the parts of my jobthat are just who I am and what
I love to do, which is workingwith students and working with
students and their families.

(40:21):
So, you know, I am hoping tobranch out a little bit and work
with families of students whohave learning differences,
learning challenges and arefiguring out what to do post
high school.
And personally, I have moretime to do things right now, and

(40:44):
so I did something about a weekago that was really fun.
I took a class out of the blue,an art class.
I'm learning about drawing,like botanical drawing.
So I like gardening and I likeflowers and I like to learn
about drawing, but I'm focusingjust on that one specific thing

(41:06):
botanical drawing.
And again, it's a little bitlike a meditation, because I who
end up retiring at some point,that you know you can just
explore different things andwhat a you know, what an

(41:33):
exciting thing at you know, atmy age, to learn something brand
new.
It gives me a sense of whatit's like for my kids, my
students, to learn somethingbrand new my kids, my students,
to learn something brand new.
It gives me a sense of what itfeels like to not be an expert
but to be, you know, have thehumility of being a beginner,
beginner, beginner withsomething.

(41:54):
It is so much fun to learnsomething brand new, well that's
cool.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
I hadn't heard about your, your drawing adventure so.
So perhaps if people sign upfor our mailing list and they
get the podcast email, we trysomewhere in the email to put a
little personal thing ofsomething that's going on.
Maybe we'll have an asparaguspicture somewhere along the line

(42:21):
.
Or of a flower or somethingGrapes.
I'm good at grapes, okay.
Well, sign up for the mailinglist, folks, because you will
get to see Lynn's art, butthat's great.
So we look back once again andwe look forward to another year.
We're going to be back inJanuary and we'll see what the

(42:48):
next year brings.
We have lots of goodopportunities these days to talk
to some great people out there,so I think there will be more
of that.

Speaker 5 (42:58):
I love it.
It's so exciting for us to dothat, you know, to read these
books and meet people and figureout what people are saying
about this whole world ofparenting that changes as our
kids get older.

Speaker 2 (43:16):
All right, lots to look forward to.
Good to see you again and we'llget a little break over the
holidays and see you in January.

Speaker 5 (43:25):
We'll be back.
See you later.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
So Sarah Shane, hello .

Speaker 1 (43:31):
Hello there.

Speaker 2 (43:32):
It feels as though it's been a long time since
we've had a chance to chat.
Yes, it's been a minute andyou've been sitting around doing
nothing.
I know, I know the kind of workthat you do for your job.
It's a very busy one in thatadvising and student success
world, especially as we'reapproaching the end of the

(43:54):
semester.

Speaker 4 (43:55):
So I know you've been busy.
Yes, it's been a semester forsure, for sure, but we're
getting there.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
Yep, yep, we are almost at the finish line.
As we are recording this, andby the time it comes out in a
couple of weeks, we will be pastthe finish line and just are
just about at the finish line ofthe semester, which is good for
everybody.
Yes, I think the students areready as well, yeah, but I think
the faculty are more ready thanthe students.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
So it's been impossible to get the four
co-hosts together in the sametime because we've all been so
busy.
So we're having some littleseparate chats, just to you know
, just to sort of think aboutthe year that's passed I can't
believe we're finishing upseason five of the podcast and
to think a little bit aboutwhat's ahead.
So let me ask you that,starting with looking backwards,

(44:50):
you are on the front lineworking with students, not in a
class, but as they're sort oflooking at the big picture of
college.
And as you think about the pastyear, any observations or
thoughts about what you'reseeing in students, what they're
like, what they're challengedwith?

(45:11):
I don't know what went on inthe past year.

Speaker 4 (45:15):
Sure, sure.
And, as you said, our office isvery busy.
I'm in the Office of Advisingand Academic Success, so we see
all sides of everything in termsof the advising piece and as
well as when students could usesupport in the academic success
realm, and there's so much thatwe have to offer that I know all
schools do.
And I think one thing that youknow I really wish we could get

(45:39):
through to students earlier inthe semester, earlier in the
year, is for them to understandthe importance of utilizing
their resources, and I think somany of them don't like to ask
for help and feel like it'seither a failure to ask for help
or just feel so nervous askingfor help.
And you know we have a uniquecourse, a one credit course that

(46:00):
allows us to go into the firstyear classrooms in the first
semester, which is great.
That seems to have helped in anumber of ways.
We've gone in twice thissemester, which does seem to
have helped students be moreopen to outreach from our office
and at least feel yes, we'rehere to help, we're friendly, we
don't have eight heads andgreen horns and we're not scary

(46:21):
and you know.
So I think that has helpedsomewhat, but it just so often
we, you know, we send emails, wetext students, we try a
thousand things and you knowthere kind of falls on deaf ears
initially, and then eventually,throughout the semester, when
more and more students startutilizing our resources and
coming to us to learn more aboutreading strategies and

(46:42):
test-taking strategies and thetutoring opportunities that we
offer and different things,they're so happy and they feel
so much better after they'veutilized everything and they
always say I wish I'd come heresooner.
And I don't know if it's thestudents kind of not trusting
themselves to who do I go seeand who do I ask?
And what if I don't understandthem?

(47:03):
And what if I sit down next toan adult and don't even know?
You know they expect me to askthem questions and I don't know
what to say.
So I think that's somethingthat you know.
We're constantly kind of tryingto break down those barriers to
make sure students know we wantthem to know they don't need to
know everything.
They don't really need to knowanything.
That's what we're here to helpthem with.

Speaker 2 (47:21):
If they knew everything, they wouldn't need
to be in college.

Speaker 4 (47:23):
Yeah, they wouldn't need us.
So you know, kind of feel safeasking questions and not feeling
insecure about that.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
So I think that's really, really important and
that's a piece that parents canhelp students understand.
I think institutions workreally really hard, especially
with new first-year students, tolet them know about all of the

(47:50):
resources and also to letparents know you know, we've got
this, we've got a writingcenter, we've got tutors, we've
got, you know, support, we'vegot counselors, we've got all of
these.
We let them know about theresources, but we don't teach
them how to be proactive aboutusing the resources.
It's not enough for them justto know about them.

(48:12):
They've got to reach out, and Ithink it's really a good
observation, sarah, that theyfeel like they're almost a
failure or there's that impostersyndrome.
If I have to ask for help, it'sbecause I'm not smart enough
and the college made a mistakein accepting me.

Speaker 4 (48:33):
Right, and then I'm supposed to know.
Everybody else knows whatthey're doing, which of course
they don't.
But everyone else knows.
I'm the only one who doesn'tknow what's going on, and of
course that's so not true.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
So if parents can you know, encourage you know,
certainly if parents know alittle bit about what the
resources are and they can sayoh, you know there's a writing
center, have you gone?
But that's not really enough,because we do that, All colleges
do that.
You know, they know there's awriting center.

(49:03):
What they don't know is whythey should go or how they
should go.
What should I take with me?
What should I be prepared tosay?
What is likely to happen?

Speaker 4 (49:15):
Almost preparing for the meeting and when we go into
this class that we do.
And then we sometimes get askedto speak to different segments
of student populations and wesay you don't have to come super
prepared.
We want you to show up andwe'll help you with everything
you need to know.
But it does help a little bitif you've put a little thought

(49:35):
into an assignment or even ifyou aren't sure where to start
on an assignment, even knowingthat, like you've thought about
it and are already confused.
Great, let us know yourthoughts on you know, in the
writing faculty or the writingpeer tutors or whoever, whomever
you're meeting with, let themknow where you're blocked so
that they can help you not onlyfigure that out but kind of

(49:56):
start the process, the kind ofbreakdown, the confusion process
of what steps to take, becauseyou'll invariably have many of
the same questions for the nextassignment or another class.
So learning the process of howto find information and break
down things and think aboutthings is, is it's a skill.
So you know why would you knowit if you haven't done it before
?
But wherever you are in theprocess is fine.

(50:18):
You don't have to have writtena whole paper and then have to
have it at you know anythinglike that.
But just kind of come with somethoughts, that's all you need
and we'll kind of walk youthrough the rest.

Speaker 2 (50:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (50:29):
Yeah, and I and yeah, I think sorry, the only other
thing I can think of it thatparents could help with this is
that two things One thing forparents to kind of feel
reassured that you probably willat some point in the semester
get a call once or twice fromyour student, sometimes about a
month into things, when you knowpapers start being due and
tests start to happen, and thenagain around midterms and or

(50:51):
finals, but with student kind offreaking out, feeling
overwhelmed, not feelingprepared, feeling like oh, this
is, you know, I haven't stayedon top of things.
And for the parent to not feelthat's a terrible thing in any
way or that it's unusual.
All students go through this,so don't you get nervous and
worried and freaked out and addto your students' stress and

(51:12):
anxiety.
Direct your student back totheir resources, whether it's
their advisor, their advisingcenter, their academic success
coordinator, their coachingstudent success, whatever their
resources are at the school andI'm sure they can find all that
in their email and on linksthey've been sent and all that.
But kind of reassure them thatthat is normal to feel that way

(51:33):
and they shouldn't despair andthey shouldn't feel like they
shouldn't be here.
It's a very normal,understandable way of processing
all that, especially in thefirst semester, so kind of
redirecting the student, helping, kind of calm and deescalate
them and not taking itpersonally on their end too that
my gosh, they can't do this.

Speaker 2 (51:54):
You know, don't realize they're not alone,
Absolutely, that's important.
So you know what you're talkingabout and students and
understanding resources andunderstanding a lot of that I
think relates to because you andI chatted for a little bit
before we started recording andI know that you have a book that

(52:17):
that you, that you are goingto- read all of that free time
that you have over holiday break.
But talk a little bit aboutthis book that you heard about
at a conference.

Speaker 4 (52:30):
Yeah, sure I'd love to.
You know it would have beeneven lovelier had I had the
chance to read it, but I'veheard good things.
It's called the secret syllabusand it's essentially the you
know kind of their, their goal,their claim is the guide to
unwritten rules of collegesuccess, and I've heard good
things about it from a number offolks and I heard about it at
an advising conference as well,and I think that there's so much

(52:54):
to be said for students notreally understanding the hidden
information that isn't writteneverywhere.
Things like utilizing yourfaculty as resources and not
just looking at them the way youknow they did in high school,

(53:16):
as somebody who grades them orsomeone who marks them late or
someone who's an authorityfigure that they should be, you
know, not really afraid of, but,you know, utilizing, kind of
getting rid of that mentality ofhigh school, and utilizing your
professors and your faculty aspeople who can be your support
system and your support networkto help you learn about
different fields and learn aboutjobs that are going to be

(53:37):
coming up in the industry, andthey're so on the front lines
and have been for years, sothey're such a wonderful
resource.
They're not just there to, youknow, give you grades, but to
help you with your life search.
And you know once and I knowthis isn't something students
think about initially in theirfirst semester of their first
year, but eventually asreferences as well for jobs or

(53:57):
grad school and that type ofthing Like you have all these
wonderful resources that youknow you don't want to, you want
to make sure to utilize, youknow, and other things as well,
and I think that this is some ofthe things that the secret
syllabus talks about.
Some of the things that thesecret syllabus talks about, and
I and I think that you know,especially for students who are

(54:18):
first generation collegestudents, they don't have
someone kind of telling themthese things in the background
and saying did you go to officehours and did you fill out this
form so that you, you know,don't lose your housing for next
semester?
Did you read your email to makesure you're not missing
important things?
I think you know not that every, every parent who's gone to

(54:39):
college does that either, but atleast they can sometimes think
of those things.

Speaker 2 (54:43):
We don't realize how much we assume they know, and I
think I suspect that, and whenyou're done reading it, I'm
going to borrow that book andread it too.
I may have to wait a couple ofyears at how busy you are in
having a chance to read it.
Yes, I'm going to read it too.
I may have to wait a couple ofyears at how busy you are, and
having a chance to read it.
But I think we do assume a lotthat there are just those hidden
things that those of us wholive in this higher ed world.

(55:07):
It's par for the course for usand we need to remember that
it's new information for a lotof students.
So that book sounds like it'spar for the course for us and we
need to remember that it's newinformation for a lot of
students.
So that book sounds like it'sreally good.
We'll put a link to the bookand a little more information
about it in the show notes.
So, if anyone's looking, thisepisode is coming out before
Christmas.
So if anyone's looking for aChristmas or a holiday gift of

(55:31):
any kind, that might besomething you want to think
about for your student.
Okay, I have a couple of quickones for you.
If you were to think about?
New Year is coming up and manyof us make New Year's
resolutions that we keep for 10minutes.
But if you were to make up aNew Year's resolution for

(55:56):
college, high school or collegeparents, what would it be?

Speaker 4 (56:00):
Okay, that's a good one.
I think what I would love tosee is to have parents work with
students more on their abilityto be okay in the state of
confusion and in learning tolive with ambiguity.
So what I mean by that is youknow we see such a rise in

(56:23):
anxiety in students and you knowthe past number of years and
you know for a number of reasonsand I think too, part of it is
so many students feel like theyA should know things or, and
again, don't feel comfortableasking questions and just the in
the back of their mind, they'realways afraid they're going to
fail or they're not wherethey're supposed to be, or they

(56:45):
should know something they don'tknow.
And I think if parents could acouple of things work with
students on letting them knowyou're 18, you're 20 or you're
22.
You don't have to have it allfigured out.
You're not supposed to have itall figured out.
You're supposed to be askingquestions and you're supposed to
be going down different paths,and not all those paths are
going to be the right ones foryou.
But you're not going to knowuntil you try.

(57:06):
It's okay to fail.
It's okay to try a major thatdoesn't turn out like you
thought it would be Okay to trya class that, oh, you got to see
and oh well, it's not the endof the world.
Like you have to try things tofigure out where your next steps
are.
And if you sit in a state ofconfusion because you're too
afraid to take that next step,you're never going to make any
forward progress.

(57:26):
So having students feelcomfortable with the internal
and external search process andnot feeling like they're
supposed to know things and Iknow how many times do is a
graduating senior in high school.
What are you going to be?
What do you want to do?
What are you going to study?
What are you going to major in?
Oh, and it's okay to say thatand to feel that and to work

(57:48):
through that and to notinadvertently contribute to
pressure that a student can feel, especially when, oh well, you
got to get a major, that you geta good job, like, okay, like
that's a whole otherconversation, but not putting
inadvertent pressure on on yourchildren or your students to
know things they don't know.
And be okay with stumblingthrough the process.
Figure it out.

Speaker 2 (58:09):
That would be great.
That's a great resolution.
It's not an easy resolution but, to you know, the expression we
sometimes use is to becomfortable with the
uncomfortable, and students needto do that, but so do parents.
Yeah, so yeah good, so thismight be.
You know, maybe there's overlaphere.

(58:30):
I was going to ask you if youwould have a New Year's
resolution for students, but Idon't know.
Is it the same one, or wouldyou tell them something else?

Speaker 4 (58:37):
I mean a couple of things.
I mean, I think very similarly,like don't think that all your
friends really know what theywant to do, even though they're
telling you what they'remajoring in, and you feel like
you're the only one in the worldwho doesn't have it figured out
.
I mean, the percentage ofstudents who change their major
at least once in college isastronomical.
So don't think that you know,you don't have it figured out

(58:59):
while everyone else does.
Life is a process and you kindof be kind to yourself and be
open to things.
I think, and I can tell you thisfor sure, the students who come
in with as undecided majors areso much more open and willing
to explore different courses,majors, careers, different

(59:20):
things while they're here,especially in the first semester
, in the first year, Whereaswe'll have students who come in
knowing they want to be X major,whatever it is, whether it's a
science major or a businessmajor, and sometimes it's
because they know someone who'sin that field and they respect
that person and they, they thinkhighly of them and the work
that they do.
So you know, maybe for greatreasons, this is what they think

(59:42):
they want to do, but theydidn't really have any practical
knowledge of it or what thatentails.
So then they try a similarmajor and hate it.
And they get so confused andfeel, oh, I can't do this, this
is too hard, and they spiraluntil it's college isn't for me,
as opposed to taking a stepback and saying, oh wow, well,

(01:00:03):
that's interesting, all thosedifferent aspects of this field
and this major that I didn'trealize.
That may not really speak to myskills.
After all, what else you got?
What else, what else can I do?
So not taking everythingpersonally and thinking every
first step has to be the onlystep and being open to trying
new things and realizing thatyou're gonna change and you're

(01:00:25):
gonna explore different thingsif you let yourself.
And college is much harder ifyou're locked into one specific
thing without giving yourselfwiggle room and chance to grow
and explore.
And I think you know we've seenthat so often in students, and
they go through such internalcrises when they force
themselves to try to dosomething, either they or their

(01:00:46):
parents, that they think theirparents want them to do, when
it's when it's not reallypossibly what they're meant to
do and they're not givingthemselves the freedom to try
other things and explore thingsand be who they maybe ought to
be.

Speaker 2 (01:01:02):
Yeah, so it sounds as though your resolution for
parents and your resolution forstudents kind of go hand in hand
, and that's great, because thatthat you know.
So the students need to be openand able to, willing to explore
and be flexible, and parentsneed to be willing to allow them
to do that and and not bepushing them.

(01:01:23):
So that's good, because if thathappens in a family, so you
know, then everybody will getalong.

Speaker 1 (01:01:32):
Ideally.

Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
So, last thing, the resolutions are looking forward
a little bit.
But what are you lookingforward to next year, personally
, professionally, other thantime to read some of the books
you have stacked up?

Speaker 4 (01:01:46):
Oh my gosh, I know I'm so excited.
That's what my husband alwayssays.
That's how I'm going to go.
The stack of books on mynightstand is going gonna crash
on me in the middle of the night.
Um, so a couple things I meanpersonally.
I guess my older son isgraduating from college a
semester early.
So super excited, exciting, yes, yes, and he's thinking about

(01:02:07):
different options and hasapplied for different in
different, for different jobs indifferent fields and is also
thinking grad school.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14):
So kind of exploring that with him and encouraging
him and you need to take yourown advice and back off and let
him explore.

Speaker 4 (01:02:22):
Oh, absolutely Just giving him the permission to try
all kinds of different thingsand I think he puts a little
pressure on himself wants tomake some money, pay off loans,
you know different things andkind of reminding him that you
don't have to have it allfigured out right now.
You don't have to know step ato z, just be kind to yourself,
explore different things and seewhere that takes you.

(01:02:43):
It's sort of freshman year allover, exactly, but for life,
right.
So so, yeah, so that's anexciting thing, personally and
professionally.
We do have some exciting thingskind of happening in our neck
of the woods, in our office nextyear that I'm looking forward
to in terms of getting.
We might be getting a couple newstaff to try to kind of create

(01:03:04):
some new dynamics within ouroffice and be able to reach out
to students in different waysand bring our resources to them
in different ways.
And I'd love to be able to havethe opportunity to explore a
couple of different conferenceswith some of my folks to try to
get you know, kind of on top ofa bunch of you know maybe, some
new initiatives we have someideas and outlines for to reach

(01:03:28):
students and to connect withstudents and have students
connect with each other BecauseI think that's a thing too is
often students, you know, and Ithink we all do this probably
somewhat, but when you feeluncertain and you feel worried
and you feel concerned, you kindof withdraw.
So trying to help studentsconnect to each other so you can
all realize you're goingthrough the same thing and you
know, probably at differenttimes to some extent, but

(01:03:50):
working with students to helpthem connect with each other so
that they don't feel, you know,and certainly with us of course
but that they feel like theyhave partners in crime and all
of this as they go through this.

Speaker 2 (01:04:02):
Yeah, those connections are so important and
that's why sometimes peertutoring works so well, because
you know they're on the samewavelength Absolutely.

Speaker 4 (01:04:14):
And we often find students feel more comfortable
asking other students questions,whereas they're afraid to ask
you know an adult questionbecause they feel silly asking
it or they feel like they shouldknow it, whereas another
student they're happy to saywhat?
Can you go back again?
Can you show me that again?
I don't even know where tostart.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
So it sounds like exciting things coming along.
I'll have to hear a little moreabout some of those, and I
think it's helpful for parentsto know that we are constantly
rethinking, you know, looking atthe students and seeing what
they need and rethinkingdifferent ways to approach
working with them and all ofthat.
So we'll see what the next yearbrings, and we will be back in

(01:04:57):
January with new episodes forseason six of the College
Parents Central podcast, andmaybe somewhere along the line
we'll be hearing some more aboutsome of the new and creative
initiatives that are happeningin your world, which will be
great.

Speaker 4 (01:05:11):
Yeah, sure, we're hoping to launch another one, or
try a new facet of one, in theend of January.
So happy to tell you how thatgoes Well we'll look forward to
hearing a little more about that.

Speaker 2 (01:05:22):
So, good to have a chance to talk to you.

Speaker 4 (01:05:26):
And we'll talk again soon.
Great Sounds great.
Have a wonderful holiday.

Speaker 2 (01:05:31):
And end of the year.
I guess we have to make itthrough the end of the year
semester first.

Speaker 4 (01:05:36):
We do, we're not quite there yet, but it's coming
.

Speaker 2 (01:05:38):
Yes, amen Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:05:39):
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
It's Vicki back again .
I had a great time talking tomy co-hosts in a way that we
often don't have a chance to do,and I hope you enjoyed
listening to some of thesuggestions that they made and
their observations.
I wanted to just add my twocents on a couple of the kinds
of things that I asked mycolleagues about, and I asked

(01:06:04):
them to think about the pastyear and what they're seeing,
perhaps in higher ed, and itoccurred to me that one of the
things I've noticed is there's agrowing emphasis on a lot of
campuses to think about helpingstudents feel a sense of
engagement and belonging.
It's not just enough to bethere to be part of the

(01:06:27):
community, but to really feellike they belong and that
they're connected and engaged ina different kind of way,
whether that's throughactivities and seeing people on
campus that look like them andfeeling seen and heard and
respected.
So that's kind of exciting.

(01:06:48):
I think that there's a move ascolleges and universities,
institutions, are really workingat helping students feel like
this is a place where I belong,not just where I learn.
So that's one thing I'm seeing.
And then, of course, we love totalk about books, so I asked
about books and we're going tolist all of the books that

(01:07:09):
everybody talked about in theshow notes and I have two that I
.
There's so many, it was hard.
But if you're looking for abook for your student, I would
recommend Outsmart your Brain byDaniel Willingham.
He's a psychologist and this ishis field and he talks a lot
about how our brain tricks usinto thinking that some of the

(01:07:32):
ways that we study are effective, but why they're really not,
and an alternative way to dosome things that outsmarts your
brain, that sort of tricks yourbrain, and really works better
than the way your brain tellsyou oh, this is easy, this will
work.
So it's a great, great book,one that students can kind of

(01:07:54):
dip into and out of, but wouldmake a great holiday gift or any
kind of gift, or stuck in acare package or something.
So it's Outsmart your Brain byDaniel Willingham.
And another book especially forhigh school parents, if you're
thinking about cost and yourstudent coming up, is Ron

(01:08:17):
Lieber's book the Price you Payfor College.
It's a wonderful book aboutfinancial aid, but also about
the inner workings of theadmissions process and financial
aid and helping students andparents together think about
what's important for them.

(01:08:38):
That's why I think his book isnot called the Cost of College,
but the Price you Pay.
What are you willing to pay for?
What are your priorities?
It's a great book.
He's the financial writer forthe New York Times, so it's a
different approach and a greatbook for financial aid.

(01:08:59):
So that's the Price you Pay forCollege by Ron Lieber.
And then I asked everybody aboutresolutions if you would have a
resolution for parents and aresolution for students, and I
do.
I would say, for a parent, aresolution for the new year

(01:09:21):
would be to allow for your owntransition.
We're so focused on helping ourstudents make that transition
to college and supporting themand helping them achieve success
that sometimes we forget thatwe are making a transition as
well.
It's a new role for parents.
It's a little different thanthe role you've had before and

(01:09:45):
it's a time for you to grow andfind some change.
And find some changes you needto do.
And also, as my colleague Lynnis always so eager to talk about
, the relationship with yourstudent is a new student.
You will understand yourstudent in new and different

(01:10:08):
ways as they go to school andyou talk to them differently.
So my resolution for parentswould be to allow for your own
transition and to rememberyou're going through a lot too.
And then, if you want to give aresolution to your student, I
would suggest that studentsresolve to think more broadly
about who they want to be beyondcareer.

(01:10:31):
There's a great focus now oncareer development and career
readiness and colleges workingharder than ever to help
students get ready for that job,to find that job, and all of
that is a wonderful thing and Idon't want to diminish that.
I don't want to diminish that.
But I would encourage studentsto think not just about their

(01:10:55):
professional life and what kindof job and career they want, but
what kind of person they wantto be, and think about what they
can do while they're in collegeto create that person that they
want to be beyond just theircareer.
This is a great college, is agreat time of development, and

(01:11:19):
what do they want to develop?
What aspects of, what strengthsdo they have that they want to
bring out?
What challenges do they facethat they might want to work on?
Who do they want to be beyondthe nine to five when they
graduate?
So that's my resolution forstudents.
And then, thinking forward, nextyear is going to be season six

(01:11:41):
of the College Parent Centralpodcast.
It's hard to believe, but we'llbe back and talking about all
kinds of things that we see andhear.
We'd love to hear fromlisteners to let us know what
you'd like to hear more about,and I think it's going to be a
year of change, a year offlexibility.

(01:12:01):
I talked about that forstudents and parents thinking
about that, and I think it's.
I have a lot going on in mylife that's going to be
requiring some flexibility andchange and it's making me think
about how important that is foreverything, including perhaps

(01:12:24):
the College Parents Centralpodcast.
I don't know, we'll see whattopics we talk about, but we're
looking forward to it.
We hope you will join us inJanuary as we begin season six
of the College Parents Centralpodcast.
As always, we're so gratefulfor our listeners.
Thank you for being with us.
If you're here hearing this,you've made it all the way

(01:12:46):
through this episode.
Thank you for that.
We wish you a great holidayseason, a great end of the year,
and we'll see you in Januaryfor season six.