May 21, 2025 • 40 mins
The summer between high school and college isn't just busy—it's a profound transition that transforms both students and parents. This emotional crossroads, where students are "no longer" in high school but "not yet" in college, demands navigation through unfamiliar territory. We did a bit of a turn for this episode as Lynn interviewed Vicki about her new E-book, The Summer Before College: A Parent's Survival Guide from Deposit to Move-In. The book is a comprehensive guide that walks parents step-by-step through the entire senior summer timeline. From the Deposit to the tearful (or celebratory!) drive home after Move-in Day, the book offers a roadmap for parents feeling overwhelmed by this transitional period. In this episode we talk about the crucial shift parents must make from caretakers to coaches, how to guide without controlling, support without hovering, and listen without immediately jumping to advice-giving. The conversation explores specific strategies for developing these skills, including thoughtful questions to ask your student and communication techniques that foster independence while maintaining connection.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Announcer (00:10):
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
Whether your child is justbeginning the college admission
process or is already in college, this podcast is for you.
You'll find food for thoughtand information about college
and about navigating thatdelicate balance of guidance,
involvement and knowing when toget out of the way.
(00:31):
Join your hosts, vicki Nelsonand Lynn Abrahams, as they share
support and a celebration ofthe amazing child in college.
Lynn Abrahams (00:47):
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
This is the place where we talkabout all things connected to
parenting our kids as they makethat transition to college.
My name is Lynn Abrahams and Iam a learning disability
specialist, have worked withcollege students for my whole
(01:08):
career and I am here not onlywith my colleague and friend,
but with the person who I willbe interviewing for this podcast
.
I will be interviewing for thispodcast, so, vicki, why don't
you first explain who you areand then I'll talk about what
we're?
Announcer (01:29):
going to talk about.
Vicki Nelson (01:30):
So my name is Vicki Nelson.
I am the co-host of the CollegeParent Central podcast, along
with Lynn and occasional otherco-hosts that join us, and I am
a college professor ofcommunication and I have been
doing that for many years, andso I work with students every
(01:51):
day and I see the things thatwork and I see the things that
sometimes cause them to struggle, and in addition to that, I am
the mother of three daughterswho have gone to college.
So, as Lynn and I always say,we both come to this podcast
both with our professional haton, having worked with college
(02:13):
students, and also our parenthat on, because we know it was
overwhelming for us when we werejust starting out sending that
first student to college.
Lynn Abrahams (02:26):
I remember.
Vicki Nelson (02:28):
That's what got us started saying if this is
overwhelming for us and we workin higher ed what must it be
like for everybody else?
Lynn Abrahams (02:38):
Yes, and the purpose of this episode is going
to be to talk a little bitabout a new e-book that has just
come out.
It is by Vicki Nelson.
The name of the book is theSummer Before College A Parent's
Survival Guide from Deposit toMove In.
(02:58):
And I would like to say thatfirst.
This is an amazing compilationof such good information,
focusing on the summer beforecollege, which is the craziest
time in the world.
Okay, but I would like to saythat, you know, this e-book is a
(03:24):
fabulous read.
It's easy to understand, it'swell organized, it's it's just
got some great stuff for parents.
And I guess, vicki, I justfirst want to ask you, you know,
how did you come to do this?
I've been pushing you for along time.
Vicki Nelson (03:42):
I was just going to say I came to do it because
you made me do it Right.
So thank you for those verykind words coming from someone
who is completely unbiased.
Yeah well, you wereinstrumental in having this
happen.
I started College ParentsCentral as a blog, as a website,
(04:04):
in 2009.
So I've been at this for awhile and the website now has
approximately a little over 900articles.
Over the years, gradually andslowly, one article at a time.
There's, you know, graduallyand slowly, one article at a
(04:26):
time On anything that you know,I encounter something with a
student and I write a post aboutit.
Or, you know, I see somethingthat's a problem and it's an
advice.
You know I want to say advicecolumn, but that dates me of
thinking about newspapers, butit's information for college
parents to make the journey work.
(04:47):
And you have been telling mefor a while now you should take
this information and put it in,pull it together, because it's.
You know, it's wonderful tojust bounce around a website and
read a post here and an articlethere, but sometimes you want
(05:08):
everything in one place.
And we have talked, lynn, youand I have talked multiple times
about how important this summerbefore college is.
It's that transition summer.
It's that summer of.
You know.
I sometimes term it like acrossroads, the crossroads
between no longer and not yet.
(05:29):
The students aren't high schoolanymore, but they're not in
college, so they've got a lotemotionally going on.
But it's also a summer whenthere's so much that has to get
done and I think what happenssometimes is, as parents, we
(05:50):
make it through graduation.
The spring of senior year iscrazy.
You've got senior events goingon and senior trips and proms
and all of this.
And then there's graduation andthat has some mixed emotions,
but you know that's a wonderfultime.
(06:10):
And then you just want to relaxand sit back and students want
to, you know, just enjoy thissummer that they have before
they go to college.
But there's a lot that has tohappen.
So I try to take some of theinformation that I know matters
(06:36):
in the summer and pull it alltogether in one place so that
parents can have it in one placeand not have to look all over
to see what they need to do andto think about the things that
they might easily forget need tobe something for the summer.
Lynn Abrahams (06:52):
And not just forget but know to know.
I remember feeling like I justdid not know what to expect when
I was in that situation.
I certainly didn't expect howcrazy that summer was and how
emotional you know it was, butin particular for first parents,
(07:13):
for parents who have theirfirst kids going off, this is a
very well-organized approach towhat happens before and through
move-in day.
Can you tell us a little bitabout just how you organized all
this information?
Vicki Nelson (07:34):
Well, that was the challenge when I started and,
interestingly, it was organizedcompletely differently.
When I started, I was thinkingin terms of, okay, what do
parents need to do, what doparents need to think about?
What do students need to do?
What do students need to thinkabout?
What conversations do they needto have?
And so I kind of and at somepoint it just clicked that wait
(08:01):
a minute, it would make moresense to think through the
summer, as you move through thesummer.
So this all really starts withdeposit.
Up until then, it's all aboutapplying and making the decision
and waiting and all, and thenthat May 1st deadline comes
along and students make theirdeposit.
(08:23):
Now it's real, you know whereyou're going to be, you know
you're in, you've made thedeposit and you start getting
different kind of informationfrom the school, and the amount
of information that students andparents receive and mostly
students receive over the summeris huge.
(08:45):
So then I decided to just setit up chronologically, so it
starts with a section on youknow just what to expect.
What's this summer going to belike?
Lynn, you just mentioned howemotional it is, and so you know
what do you think this summeris is going to be like.
(09:09):
And then it's got a second part.
That are the things, the thingsthat have to happen right away.
And I sometimes I've.
I think parents aren't andstudents aren't aware of the
timing.
So this email comes and it saysyou should do this.
You know, fill out this surveyabout classes.
(09:32):
This is for students.
Fill out the survey aboutclasses.
And students say I don't want tothink about that right now, I'm
going to do it a little later,but really the college needs
that information right awaybecause that's how they begin to
think about the student'sschedule for fall and different
colleges do schedulesdifferently, but they need that
information right away.
(09:53):
So, after thinking about whatto expect, the first thing is
okay, what do you need to doright away?
And your student may not evenhave graduated yet, but this is
to happen right away.
So there's a section on that.
And then you move toward kindof the middle of the summer and
(10:14):
that's that's the section ofthings that can happen
throughout the summer.
You know, you just chip away alittle bit and it's not going to
feel as overwhelming as itmight otherwise.
And then the the last part ofsummer sort of okay, now it's
really time to get ready andthere's some things that need to
happen closer to when it'sgoing to be time to go, and then
(10:39):
thinking about sending them offand that's move-in day and
waving goodbye and crying sometears, or not.
Or cheering in the car on theway home, whatever the case may
be.
So there's that end of summerand then I tacked on a little
section at the end.
It's not technically summer but, um, you know, kind of on the
(11:01):
home front, once you get home,um, just a few things to think
about as you, as you parent,make that transition from, uh
you know, all the focus onsending them off and now you
come home and for some parentsit's an empty nest or emptier,
and just a few things to thinkabout and do as you wind down
(11:24):
summer.
So it's meant to bechronological.
You can read it along as thesummer goes along.
Look at it at the beginning ofthe summer for a preview of
what's down the road.
Lynn Abrahams (11:39):
You know, one thing you and I talk a lot about
is the role of parents in termsof that shift from you know the
day-to-day caretaking kind ofthing to being on the sidelines
and coaching, coaching.
It strikes me that this ebookthat has just come out is a
(11:59):
really good way for parents it'sto the parents, not to the
students, really, but it's agood way for parents to know
what's coming so that they canthen shift into being the coach,
because how do you support yourkids if you don't really know
what's happening?
You know what I mean.
So this is a very cleardescription of what happens at
(12:24):
each section.
But anyways, can you talk alittle bit more about that shift
of parenting?
Vicki Nelson (12:32):
Yeah, oh boy, I don't think there has been a
podcast episode that we've done,that.
We haven't talked aboutshifting from caretaking to
coaching and the workshop thatwe sometimes do with school
groups or whatever is calledcaretaking to coaching.
Because when your student isliving at home, you know in high
(12:55):
school, even when they'refairly independent and some high
school students are veryindependent you're still the
caretaker.
Often parents are the keeper ofthe master calendar that's on
the wall in the kitchen or onthe fridge or something, to know
who's going where and when andkeeping track of those dentist
(13:18):
appointments and doctorappointments and you know when
the student heads out, it's, youknow where are you going and
who you're going with and who'sdriving and when are you going
to be home or this is whenyou'll be home, or those sorts
of things, and trying to keeptrack of what's going on in the
household.
So that caretaking role isreally where we live when the
(13:42):
student is living home and thenwhen they go to college, they're
on their own and it's changinga little bit, but the message
that so often goes to parents isokay, they're on their own, so
(14:02):
you're done.
So back off and don't be ahelicopter parent, and your
student will be fine.
And really, you know, we you andI talk about it all the time.
That's not true at all.
It's just that the role changesand it changes to a coach On
(14:22):
the sidelines.
The coach doesn't play the game, but the coach is helping the
athlete, the player, know whatto do and is encouraging the
player or sometimes, you know,sometimes pulling them into the
locker room and saying now look,this is what you've got to
change.
The approach isn't working,you've got to switch it.
(14:46):
So I think, if I don't know ifparents can think about that
role as being just as active arole, but just very different,
very different.
It's hands-off.
But we often say good athletesoften say I couldn't have done
it without my coach, I owe itall to my coach because they
(15:10):
helped me get ready, theyencouraged me, they kept me on
track, they encouraged me, theykept me on track.
So hopefully, as parents worktheir way through this sort of,
I like to think of it as kind ofa step-by-step.
The book takes you step-by-stepthrough the summer and hopefully
(15:31):
it helps them begin to makethat transition and anticipate
that transition over the summeras they have conversations with
their student and there are somethings that parents need to do
and some things that studentsneed to do.
For instance, you know theroommate survey, which is often
(15:52):
something students get early inthe summer If they're living on
campus.
Please fill out are you aneatnik or are you a slob, and
do you sleep with the shadespulled or the shades open?
And do you like to study withmusic or not with music?
Are you a smoker or not?
All of those sorts of questions.
(16:15):
Students need to do that, notparents, and so that's an
opportunity for the parents tostep back and say, nope, you
need to fill this out, and youneed to fill this out honestly
of who you really are, not whoyou wish you were because then
you're going to get put togetherwith a roommate that's not
(16:36):
going to be a match for you.
But parents need to be preparedto say and you don't have to
show it to me Fill it out andsend it, let me know that it's
gone or don't let me know.
It's up to you.
But I don't want to see itbecause maybe you would be
putting down different answersif you knew that I was going to
(16:57):
look.
So there are littleopportunities like that, I think
, throughout the summer forparents to say no it's up to you
.
Lynn Abrahams (17:07):
You know, one thing that you tend to do is
outline some conversations thatparents and students can have,
and I find that to be reallyhelpful, because you even model
in some of your short chaptersexactly what kind of questions
to ask and how to do it in a waythat is, you know,
(17:30):
non-judgmental, and so you knowI think that's a really helpful
thing what kinds of you know,what kinds of conversations do
you think are really crucial inthat summer?
Vicki Nelson (17:46):
Oh, there's so many.
And you know, I think as much asI said, there's hardly been a
podcast episode that hasn'ttalked about caretaking to
coaching.
I'm quite positive there hasn'tbeen a podcast episode that you
and I haven't talked aboutcaretaking to coaching.
I'm quite positive there hasn'tbeen a podcast episode that you
and I haven't talked about.
Have this conversation.
Have this conversation.
You need to communicate thecommunication and hopefully this
(18:08):
summer also gives parents anopportunity to practice some of
that communication, to reallytalk to students about things
like what they expect college tobe, like, what their goals are.
Why simple question why are yougoing to college?
(18:32):
That's really one of the firstconversations to have that.
Interestingly, for so manyfamilies, as much as they've
been immersed in this admissionsprocess for the last two or
more years, that question hasn'tcome up.
Lynn Abrahams (18:55):
I don't think I ever asked my kids that question
.
Vicki Nelson (18:57):
I didn't either.
Why are you going to college?
And then that forces studentsto think a little bit.
Well, because that's whatpeople do.
Well, do you have to?
And the point of the questionis not to talk them out of going
to college, but just to getthem to think about well, why am
(19:19):
I going to college?
Because that leads directly to.
So then, what are some of yourgoals?
What do you want college to dofor you?
Are you going for personalfulfillment?
Are you going for social life?
Are you going forcareer-specific knowledge?
(19:41):
All of those answers would leadyou to different goals, and
then parents can follow that upwith another conversation about
so what are your action plans toaccomplish those goals?
So you know, if it's career,what are you going to do while
(20:03):
you're at college to lead towardthat career?
Of course, it has to do withyour choice of major.
And then, well then, what kindsof classes are you hoping that
you're going to be able to take?
And are you going to try tovolunteer somewhere, or are you
going to try to do an internship?
(20:24):
You're going to try to do aninternship, not to have a
student plan out their entirecollege life, but just to begin
to open the door to some ofthose conversations.
Thinking about roommate Studentsdread.
You know, I know I'm going toget the roommate from hell.
(20:45):
I just know.
I know what's it going to belike, because most kids have
never shared a room with anybody, and certainly not a room that
small that is, your living roomand your kitchen and your study
room and your bedroom and all ofthat.
So they're worried about theroommate and perhaps a
conversation that a parent andstudent could have would be, and
(21:07):
perhaps a conversation that aparent and student could have
would be.
So what are you going to do tobe a good roommate?
What makes a good roommate?
And flipping the table a littlebit to have the student think
differently.
So I think, yeah.
There are a number of places inhere where I've suggested maybe
this is a good time to have aconversation about this, and
(21:29):
that lays the groundwork.
It's the foundation for thecommunication you're going to
have with your student oncethey're away, which you, lynn, I
know have talked about oncethey go away.
Some of those conversations areso rich because you've taken
that caretaking piece out of itand you can just have
(21:51):
interesting conversations.
Lynn Abrahams (21:53):
Well, one of the themes here is, um, learning how
to listen, um, you know, as aparent, I think, especially when
our kids are younger, you knowwe spend so much time doing what
we think parents should do.
I mean sort of telling themwhat to do, you know.
But but as as our students turninto, you know, adults, um,
(22:19):
it's, um, it's.
So it's such a wonderfulreminder to step back and listen
, um, and ask questions and becurious about what your kids are
thinking.
And I loved reading books withmy kids once they went away to
school and we could share whatthey were reading, and I would
read it too, we would talk aboutit and that kind of thing.
(22:41):
So there's a lot in here abouthow to shift your habits in
communicating with your kids.
Vicki Nelson (22:52):
Well, I am a communication professor.
Lynn Abrahams (22:54):
That is true.
Vicki Nelson (22:56):
So there probably is a little bit little bias, a
little leaning that way.
But and listening is one of thethings I teach in my
communication classes and it'sone of the hardest things to do
and do.
Well, in part, as you just said, we think it's part of our job
description and it is part ofour job description to give
(23:18):
advice.
So when students are telling uswhatever they're telling us
maybe we've asked a questionwe're often busy thinking about
what we're going to say andwe're really only half listening
to what they're going to saybecause we're listening with the
intent to respond.
(23:39):
So we're busy thinking well,then I'm going to tell him this
and then I'm going to react thatway rather than really
listening.
And that kind of listening,where you really focus on
hearing, takes practice.
So this is a good time Summeris a great time in some of the
(24:13):
great time in some of thesituations and topics here, to
really practice that fulllistening.
And some parents talk about howyou know my kid never talks to
me.
They never talk to me andsometimes I think that's because
they know we're not reallylistening.
We have the best of intentions,it's not that we don't care, but
they know they're going to saysomething and are we really
(24:37):
going to hear what they'retelling us?
And so maybe experimenting alittle bit with some new habits
and ways of listening, of givingit space, giving it time and
being a sounding board, insteadof coming in right away with the
advice, asking whether theywant our advice, you know, they
(24:58):
lay something out to us andinstead of coming right in and
saying, well, what you could dois this or what you should do,
is this, what you could do, isthis or what you should do is
this, sitting with it and thensaying, do you want my advice or
do you just want me to hearwhat you have to say?
Or just sounding it back.
You know, well, I'm hearing yousay that you really don't like
(25:23):
that subject, and the studentsays no, no, no, no, it's not
that it's that I don't like thesubject, and the student says no
, no, no, no, it's not that it'sthat I don't like the professor
, and so it's different, butit's so important.
Lynn Abrahams (25:34):
You know it occurs to me that the summer
before college there's a lot ofmaterial out there about
students and the transitionthey're going through, but what
you're addressing in this ebookis the shifts that parents are
going through to.
You know that there are.
They're shifting also fromparenting a high school student
(25:56):
to parenting a college student.
One thing that you do in thisebook is give some real good
information that parents don'tknow or may not know and that
helps with that shift.
Like you know, you write aboutFERPA in a way that makes sense.
Vicki Nelson (26:14):
I knew you were going to think FERPA.
Lynn Abrahams (26:17):
And there are other things.
I mean, what other things canyou think of that are in there?
Vicki Nelson (26:21):
Well, you're right in pointing out FERPA, because
FERPA is one of the mostimportant ones and there is a
chapter on that understandingthat when students go to college
, the right to their academicinformation belongs to them and
not to parents.
And then again, going back toconversations, that it's
(26:45):
important to have a conversationwith your student.
A lot of students have neverheard of FERPA, so if the
information in that chapter herecan help parents understand it,
to explain it, to their kids Tothen explain it to their
students and then decidetogether whether, because it
(27:06):
means bottom line, it means thatall academic information,
including grades, are going togo to your student and not to
the parent.
And you can have a student signa FERPA waiver which says it's
okay for you to release thingslike my grades to my parents.
And many parents will sayimmediately well, of course,
sign this FERPA waiver because Iwant to see your grades.
(27:30):
But then thinking about, whatmessage is that sending to my
student?
Is that saying I don't trustthat when I say what are your
grades, you're going to tell me?
And is that the message that Iwant to send right away?
So again, that's a conversation.
So the FERPA.
(27:51):
And then there there's someinformation about health, proxy
and HIPAA that you know.
If your students in a caraccident and they're unconscious
, the hospital can't tell youanything because they are, you
know, legally there's not arelease, so you can.
(28:13):
There's some paperwork that youcan do over the summer that
says that you know parents canhave access to that information
in an emergency.
Some things about thinking,thinking about a departure plan
(28:33):
for students, which doesn't meanthinking about how you're going
to drop out of college.
That's not what that's talkingabout, but it's in an emergency.
Does your student have like aweather emergency or some kind
of crisis on?
campus hurricane or you knowwhatever?
Um, does your student have aplan of what they're going to do
(28:54):
if they have to leave campus,if the campus is evacuated?
Um, for, for whatever reason?
Um, and thinking now ahead oftime, proactively?
Um, let's plan together whatare you going to do?
You know, will you make sureyou always have a little cash?
Do you know where you'll go?
(29:15):
Do we have relatives that liveclose or friends that live close
to where you go to college thatare willing that we could
contact and say, in an emergency, would you be willing?
You know?
Just, that's some of theinformation that parents may not
realize.
There's some financial piecestoo, money stuff.
(29:35):
Oh yeah, not only the big money, the tuition money, but many
parents don't realize how manyother small incremental fees
there are going to be and othercosts, and how much textbooks
cost.
I mean, it's outrageous,textbooks cost way too much and
(29:59):
I think most of us agree aboutthat, but we can't do anything
about it.
So if you have a student whohas five classes and they need
five, and subclasses requiremore than one book and they need
five books, it would not beunreasonable for it to cost four
, five, six hundred dollars fora semester's books.
(30:21):
Now you multiply that by eightsemesters, they can sell them
back, but they usually don't getvery much, so anticipating some
of the extra costs is reallyimportant.
So, yeah, there's information,things to know.
Lynn Abrahams (30:39):
You know you also give some great tips on packing
and getting ready to go, likeeven a first aid.
You know list of things to pack.
I never knew that.
Vicki Nelson (30:55):
Well, yeah, I mean , we've both said Lynn for as
long as we've been doing thepodcast.
We wish we had known when wesent our kids what we know now.
And that was a little bit on mymind as I was doing this too.
Oh gosh, it would have beennice to know now.
And that was a little bit on mymind as I was doing this too.
Oh gosh, it would have beennice to know this.
Oh, it would have been good ifI had known that back then.
But I don't even know if I sentmy student with a first aid kit
(31:17):
.
Lynn Abrahams (31:18):
I probably gave them Band-Aids or something, I
don't remember.
Vicki Nelson (31:21):
Because there are wonderful health centers on
campus but not everything raisesto the level of going to the
health center you get.
You know you cut yourself witha knife, you need to know what
kind of ointment to put on itand you need to have some
band-aids and you wake up with afever.
You know it's nice to have athermometer and find out how
(31:41):
much you really have and youknow if you have a cough, when
do you go?
When do you go to the healthcenter and when do you deal with
it?
So, yeah, things to go into afirst aid kit and then talking
to your student about what to dowith the things that are in the
first aid kit, because if yousend them with this packed thing
(32:02):
and they don't know whatanything is or when to use what,
it doesn't help.
And then my favorite is the ideaof a comfort pack and I've
included some things there tothink about.
And that's really something yousort of box up and wrap up and
(32:23):
give to your student to tuck intheir luggage and say you know,
this is for when, that firsttime when you get sick, because
it's inevitable, almostinevitable, long about October,
they all start dropping likeflies because they've been
sharing all their germs in theresidence hall and it's cold
(32:45):
season and flu season starts andall, and they, you know they
can get something that's notlife-threatening but they feel
pretty miserable and that firsttime away from home feeling
miserable is kind of tough.
So you know that's when youpull out this pack that I sent
with you that you know maybe hassome, you know some, chicken
(33:08):
soup in it and you know a niceblanket, a comfortable blanket,
maybe some magazines and youknow maybe a DVD.
I don't know, it's verypersonal, but to think about
some of the kinds of things thatif you can't be there when your
student feels sick, what mightbe some things?
Lynn Abrahams (33:30):
that they would like Even just a card.
Yeah, yeah, I really appreciatethat there is a glossary at the
end of this of terms that youknow that apply to college.
I mean, it's a new language andit's just really helpful for
parents to know the new language.
Announcer (33:51):
Yep.
Lynn Abrahams (33:52):
And then you also give a list of books for
parents and a book in a list forbooks for students.
We like books.
Vicki Nelson (33:59):
Have we ever not talked about books, lynn?
We have every year.
The podcast is now in its sixthyear and every year we've done
a podcast episode on summerreads things to read for the
summer and I think that's comingup.
I'm not sure this year's hascome out yet, but you know we've
(34:22):
each chosen two, three, fourbooks that we think are great
and we've recommended them.
So I couldn't not recommendsome books for parents to read
and then some books for studentsto read, and you're right about
the terminology.
We've done two or three podcastepisodes, I think on talking the
(34:44):
talk and knowing the lingo, soI compiled that a little bit.
It helps to have some idea andwhen your student comes home and
starts spouting these terms,you have some idea of what they
are.
Lynn Abrahams (35:01):
Well, I have to say I do recommend this book
highly.
Vicki Nelson (35:05):
Thank you for your highly unbiased opinion.
Lynn Abrahams (35:11):
But really it's filled with such important
information, but it's an easyread also.
Vicki Nelson (35:17):
Yeah, I really tried Short chapters and easy to
grasp, easy read also.
Yeah, I, I really triedchapters yeah, I tried to do
that.
I mean it's a little scary whenyou know if you look at the
table of contents and there are49 chapters and you know kind of
ah.
But I tried to keep most ofthem to a page or two.
Um, and and, rather than bigchapters that you know you have
(35:42):
to wade through to get theinformation you need, I opted
for lots of short, very specificchapters.
So, yes, hopefully parents sitdown and you know, read it.
But also to be able to pick itup at any point in the summer
and say I need to know somethingabout a first aid kit and I can
(36:04):
find that chapter and I don'thave to read a 15-page chapter
to get the information I need.
Lynn Abrahams (36:11):
So how do parents get this book?
Vicki Nelson (36:13):
Oh, it's only available on the College Parent
Central website.
Okay, so that's the only placeyou can get it and you just go
to collegeparentcentralcom andthen there's a tab that says
Resources and the dropdown ofthat has e-books.
So you can go there and readmore about it, get a little more
(36:39):
sense of what's in it and orderit right there.
There's also another e-bookthere.
If you are not the parent of agraduate but you have a student
in high school, there's anothere-book there some tips on.
That's a much smaller, shorterone, but, um, some practical
(37:01):
tips for using the last year ortwo of high school to help them
get ready.
So you can start with that andget help them through high
school and then, when it comestime for the summer, before
college, move on to to this one,but collegeparentcentralcom,
the tab that says resources andthen ebooks, and there you are
(37:26):
it's fabulous.
Lynn Abrahams (37:27):
I wish I had had it back way back me too fabulous
job.
Vicki Nelson (37:33):
thanks for talking to me about it and I hope um, I
hope some parents will find ituseful and you know we'll put
the link if you go to the shownotes.
We'll put the link there in theshow notes and also my email
(37:53):
address so that if you do getthe book and you have feedback,
I'd love to hear it.
Or if there are additionalquestions, let me know.
If you do get the book and youhave feedback, I'd love to hear
it.
Lynn Abrahams (38:05):
Or if there are additional questions, let me
know.
We'll give us ideas for newepisodes.
Vicki Nelson (38:08):
Yeah, that's true, we'll keep talking about
everything else.
We also, though, by the way, dohave a series of three episodes
way back that touch on thesetopics, and then this allowed me
, you know, to go deeper in thebook.
So if you look back to episodes43, 44, and 45, those are all
(38:34):
about summer prep, so that wouldbe some additional information.
Lynn Abrahams (38:39):
Well, this is a very thorough um and easy read,
though too.
Fabulous thanks.
Vicki Nelson (38:46):
Thank you, vicki, thanks for having me as a guest
on the podcast.
This was fun all right, thankseverybody.
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
Whether your child is justbeginning the college admission
process or is already in college, this podcast is for you.
You'll find food for thoughtand information about college
and about navigating thatdelicate balance of guidance,
involvement and knowing when toget out of the way.
(00:31):
Join your hosts, vicki Nelsonand Lynn Abrahams, as they share
support and a celebration ofthe amazing child in college.
Lynn Abrahams (00:47):
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
This is the place where we talkabout all things connected to
parenting our kids as they makethat transition to college.
My name is Lynn Abrahams and Iam a learning disability
specialist, have worked withcollege students for my whole
(01:08):
career and I am here not onlywith my colleague and friend,
but with the person who I willbe interviewing for this podcast
.
I will be interviewing for thispodcast, so, vicki, why don't
you first explain who you areand then I'll talk about what
we're?
Announcer (01:29):
going to talk about.
Vicki Nelson (01:30):
So my name is Vicki Nelson.
I am the co-host of the CollegeParent Central podcast, along
with Lynn and occasional otherco-hosts that join us, and I am
a college professor ofcommunication and I have been
doing that for many years, andso I work with students every
(01:51):
day and I see the things thatwork and I see the things that
sometimes cause them to struggle, and in addition to that, I am
the mother of three daughterswho have gone to college.
So, as Lynn and I always say,we both come to this podcast
both with our professional haton, having worked with college
(02:13):
students, and also our parenthat on, because we know it was
overwhelming for us when we werejust starting out sending that
first student to college.
Lynn Abrahams (02:26):
I remember.
Vicki Nelson (02:28):
That's what got us started saying if this is
overwhelming for us and we workin higher ed what must it be
like for everybody else?
Lynn Abrahams (02:38):
Yes, and the purpose of this episode is going
to be to talk a little bitabout a new e-book that has just
come out.
It is by Vicki Nelson.
The name of the book is theSummer Before College A Parent's
Survival Guide from Deposit toMove In.
(02:58):
And I would like to say thatfirst.
This is an amazing compilationof such good information,
focusing on the summer beforecollege, which is the craziest
time in the world.
Okay, but I would like to saythat, you know, this e-book is a
(03:24):
fabulous read.
It's easy to understand, it'swell organized, it's it's just
got some great stuff for parents.
And I guess, vicki, I justfirst want to ask you, you know,
how did you come to do this?
I've been pushing you for along time.
Vicki Nelson (03:42):
I was just going to say I came to do it because
you made me do it Right.
So thank you for those verykind words coming from someone
who is completely unbiased.
Yeah well, you wereinstrumental in having this
happen.
I started College ParentsCentral as a blog, as a website,
(04:04):
in 2009.
So I've been at this for awhile and the website now has
approximately a little over 900articles.
Over the years, gradually andslowly, one article at a time.
There's, you know, graduallyand slowly, one article at a
(04:26):
time On anything that you know,I encounter something with a
student and I write a post aboutit.
Or, you know, I see somethingthat's a problem and it's an
advice.
You know I want to say advicecolumn, but that dates me of
thinking about newspapers, butit's information for college
parents to make the journey work.
(04:47):
And you have been telling mefor a while now you should take
this information and put it in,pull it together, because it's.
You know, it's wonderful tojust bounce around a website and
read a post here and an articlethere, but sometimes you want
(05:08):
everything in one place.
And we have talked, lynn, youand I have talked multiple times
about how important this summerbefore college is.
It's that transition summer.
It's that summer of.
You know.
I sometimes term it like acrossroads, the crossroads
between no longer and not yet.
(05:29):
The students aren't high schoolanymore, but they're not in
college, so they've got a lotemotionally going on.
But it's also a summer whenthere's so much that has to get
done and I think what happenssometimes is, as parents, we
(05:50):
make it through graduation.
The spring of senior year iscrazy.
You've got senior events goingon and senior trips and proms
and all of this.
And then there's graduation andthat has some mixed emotions,
but you know that's a wonderfultime.
(06:10):
And then you just want to relaxand sit back and students want
to, you know, just enjoy thissummer that they have before
they go to college.
But there's a lot that has tohappen.
So I try to take some of theinformation that I know matters
(06:36):
in the summer and pull it alltogether in one place so that
parents can have it in one placeand not have to look all over
to see what they need to do andto think about the things that
they might easily forget need tobe something for the summer.
Lynn Abrahams (06:52):
And not just forget but know to know.
I remember feeling like I justdid not know what to expect when
I was in that situation.
I certainly didn't expect howcrazy that summer was and how
emotional you know it was, butin particular for first parents,
(07:13):
for parents who have theirfirst kids going off, this is a
very well-organized approach towhat happens before and through
move-in day.
Can you tell us a little bitabout just how you organized all
this information?
Vicki Nelson (07:34):
Well, that was the challenge when I started and,
interestingly, it was organizedcompletely differently.
When I started, I was thinkingin terms of, okay, what do
parents need to do, what doparents need to think about?
What do students need to do?
What do students need to thinkabout?
What conversations do they needto have?
And so I kind of and at somepoint it just clicked that wait
(08:01):
a minute, it would make moresense to think through the
summer, as you move through thesummer.
So this all really starts withdeposit.
Up until then, it's all aboutapplying and making the decision
and waiting and all, and thenthat May 1st deadline comes
along and students make theirdeposit.
(08:23):
Now it's real, you know whereyou're going to be, you know
you're in, you've made thedeposit and you start getting
different kind of informationfrom the school, and the amount
of information that students andparents receive and mostly
students receive over the summeris huge.
(08:45):
So then I decided to just setit up chronologically, so it
starts with a section on youknow just what to expect.
What's this summer going to belike?
Lynn, you just mentioned howemotional it is, and so you know
what do you think this summeris is going to be like.
(09:09):
And then it's got a second part.
That are the things, the thingsthat have to happen right away.
And I sometimes I've.
I think parents aren't andstudents aren't aware of the
timing.
So this email comes and it saysyou should do this.
You know, fill out this surveyabout classes.
(09:32):
This is for students.
Fill out the survey aboutclasses.
And students say I don't want tothink about that right now, I'm
going to do it a little later,but really the college needs
that information right awaybecause that's how they begin to
think about the student'sschedule for fall and different
colleges do schedulesdifferently, but they need that
information right away.
(09:53):
So, after thinking about whatto expect, the first thing is
okay, what do you need to doright away?
And your student may not evenhave graduated yet, but this is
to happen right away.
So there's a section on that.
And then you move toward kindof the middle of the summer and
(10:14):
that's that's the section ofthings that can happen
throughout the summer.
You know, you just chip away alittle bit and it's not going to
feel as overwhelming as itmight otherwise.
And then the the last part ofsummer sort of okay, now it's
really time to get ready andthere's some things that need to
happen closer to when it'sgoing to be time to go, and then
(10:39):
thinking about sending them offand that's move-in day and
waving goodbye and crying sometears, or not.
Or cheering in the car on theway home, whatever the case may
be.
So there's that end of summerand then I tacked on a little
section at the end.
It's not technically summer but, um, you know, kind of on the
(11:01):
home front, once you get home,um, just a few things to think
about as you, as you parent,make that transition from, uh
you know, all the focus onsending them off and now you
come home and for some parentsit's an empty nest or emptier,
and just a few things to thinkabout and do as you wind down
(11:24):
summer.
So it's meant to bechronological.
You can read it along as thesummer goes along.
Look at it at the beginning ofthe summer for a preview of
what's down the road.
Lynn Abrahams (11:39):
You know, one thing you and I talk a lot about
is the role of parents in termsof that shift from you know the
day-to-day caretaking kind ofthing to being on the sidelines
and coaching, coaching.
It strikes me that this ebookthat has just come out is a
(11:59):
really good way for parents it'sto the parents, not to the
students, really, but it's agood way for parents to know
what's coming so that they canthen shift into being the coach,
because how do you support yourkids if you don't really know
what's happening?
You know what I mean.
So this is a very cleardescription of what happens at
(12:24):
each section.
But anyways, can you talk alittle bit more about that shift
of parenting?
Vicki Nelson (12:32):
Yeah, oh boy, I don't think there has been a
podcast episode that we've done,that.
We haven't talked aboutshifting from caretaking to
coaching and the workshop thatwe sometimes do with school
groups or whatever is calledcaretaking to coaching.
Because when your student isliving at home, you know in high
(12:55):
school, even when they'refairly independent and some high
school students are veryindependent you're still the
caretaker.
Often parents are the keeper ofthe master calendar that's on
the wall in the kitchen or onthe fridge or something, to know
who's going where and when andkeeping track of those dentist
(13:18):
appointments and doctorappointments and you know when
the student heads out, it's, youknow where are you going and
who you're going with and who'sdriving and when are you going
to be home or this is whenyou'll be home, or those sorts
of things, and trying to keeptrack of what's going on in the
household.
So that caretaking role isreally where we live when the
(13:42):
student is living home and thenwhen they go to college, they're
on their own and it's changinga little bit, but the message
that so often goes to parents isokay, they're on their own, so
(14:02):
you're done.
So back off and don't be ahelicopter parent, and your
student will be fine.
And really, you know, we you andI talk about it all the time.
That's not true at all.
It's just that the role changesand it changes to a coach On
(14:22):
the sidelines.
The coach doesn't play the game, but the coach is helping the
athlete, the player, know whatto do and is encouraging the
player or sometimes, you know,sometimes pulling them into the
locker room and saying now look,this is what you've got to
change.
The approach isn't working,you've got to switch it.
(14:46):
So I think, if I don't know ifparents can think about that
role as being just as active arole, but just very different,
very different.
It's hands-off.
But we often say good athletesoften say I couldn't have done
it without my coach, I owe itall to my coach because they
(15:10):
helped me get ready, theyencouraged me, they kept me on
track, they encouraged me, theykept me on track.
So hopefully, as parents worktheir way through this sort of,
I like to think of it as kind ofa step-by-step.
The book takes you step-by-stepthrough the summer and hopefully
(15:31):
it helps them begin to makethat transition and anticipate
that transition over the summeras they have conversations with
their student and there are somethings that parents need to do
and some things that studentsneed to do.
For instance, you know theroommate survey, which is often
(15:52):
something students get early inthe summer If they're living on
campus.
Please fill out are you aneatnik or are you a slob, and
do you sleep with the shadespulled or the shades open?
And do you like to study withmusic or not with music?
Are you a smoker or not?
All of those sorts of questions.
(16:15):
Students need to do that, notparents, and so that's an
opportunity for the parents tostep back and say, nope, you
need to fill this out, and youneed to fill this out honestly
of who you really are, not whoyou wish you were because then
you're going to get put togetherwith a roommate that's not
(16:36):
going to be a match for you.
But parents need to be preparedto say and you don't have to
show it to me Fill it out andsend it, let me know that it's
gone or don't let me know.
It's up to you.
But I don't want to see itbecause maybe you would be
putting down different answersif you knew that I was going to
(16:57):
look.
So there are littleopportunities like that, I think
, throughout the summer forparents to say no it's up to you
.
Lynn Abrahams (17:07):
You know, one thing that you tend to do is
outline some conversations thatparents and students can have,
and I find that to be reallyhelpful, because you even model
in some of your short chaptersexactly what kind of questions
to ask and how to do it in a waythat is, you know,
(17:30):
non-judgmental, and so you knowI think that's a really helpful
thing what kinds of you know,what kinds of conversations do
you think are really crucial inthat summer?
Vicki Nelson (17:46):
Oh, there's so many.
And you know, I think as much asI said, there's hardly been a
podcast episode that hasn'ttalked about caretaking to
coaching.
I'm quite positive there hasn'tbeen a podcast episode that you
and I haven't talked aboutcaretaking to coaching.
I'm quite positive there hasn'tbeen a podcast episode that you
and I haven't talked about.
Have this conversation.
Have this conversation.
You need to communicate thecommunication and hopefully this
(18:08):
summer also gives parents anopportunity to practice some of
that communication, to reallytalk to students about things
like what they expect college tobe, like, what their goals are.
Why simple question why are yougoing to college?
(18:32):
That's really one of the firstconversations to have that.
Interestingly, for so manyfamilies, as much as they've
been immersed in this admissionsprocess for the last two or
more years, that question hasn'tcome up.
Lynn Abrahams (18:55):
I don't think I ever asked my kids that question
.
Vicki Nelson (18:57):
I didn't either.
Why are you going to college?
And then that forces studentsto think a little bit.
Well, because that's whatpeople do.
Well, do you have to?
And the point of the questionis not to talk them out of going
to college, but just to getthem to think about well, why am
(19:19):
I going to college?
Because that leads directly to.
So then, what are some of yourgoals?
What do you want college to dofor you?
Are you going for personalfulfillment?
Are you going for social life?
Are you going forcareer-specific knowledge?
(19:41):
All of those answers would leadyou to different goals, and
then parents can follow that upwith another conversation about
so what are your action plans toaccomplish those goals?
So you know, if it's career,what are you going to do while
(20:03):
you're at college to lead towardthat career?
Of course, it has to do withyour choice of major.
And then, well then, what kindsof classes are you hoping that
you're going to be able to take?
And are you going to try tovolunteer somewhere, or are you
going to try to do an internship?
(20:24):
You're going to try to do aninternship, not to have a
student plan out their entirecollege life, but just to begin
to open the door to some ofthose conversations.
Thinking about roommate Studentsdread.
You know, I know I'm going toget the roommate from hell.
(20:45):
I just know.
I know what's it going to belike, because most kids have
never shared a room with anybody, and certainly not a room that
small that is, your living roomand your kitchen and your study
room and your bedroom and all ofthat.
So they're worried about theroommate and perhaps a
conversation that a parent andstudent could have would be, and
(21:07):
perhaps a conversation that aparent and student could have
would be.
So what are you going to do tobe a good roommate?
What makes a good roommate?
And flipping the table a littlebit to have the student think
differently.
So I think, yeah.
There are a number of places inhere where I've suggested maybe
this is a good time to have aconversation about this, and
(21:29):
that lays the groundwork.
It's the foundation for thecommunication you're going to
have with your student oncethey're away, which you, lynn, I
know have talked about oncethey go away.
Some of those conversations areso rich because you've taken
that caretaking piece out of itand you can just have
(21:51):
interesting conversations.
Lynn Abrahams (21:53):
Well, one of the themes here is, um, learning how
to listen, um, you know, as aparent, I think, especially when
our kids are younger, you knowwe spend so much time doing what
we think parents should do.
I mean sort of telling themwhat to do, you know.
But but as as our students turninto, you know, adults, um,
(22:19):
it's, um, it's.
So it's such a wonderfulreminder to step back and listen
, um, and ask questions and becurious about what your kids are
thinking.
And I loved reading books withmy kids once they went away to
school and we could share whatthey were reading, and I would
read it too, we would talk aboutit and that kind of thing.
(22:41):
So there's a lot in here abouthow to shift your habits in
communicating with your kids.
Vicki Nelson (22:52):
Well, I am a communication professor.
Lynn Abrahams (22:54):
That is true.
Vicki Nelson (22:56):
So there probably is a little bit little bias, a
little leaning that way.
But and listening is one of thethings I teach in my
communication classes and it'sone of the hardest things to do
and do.
Well, in part, as you just said, we think it's part of our job
description and it is part ofour job description to give
(23:18):
advice.
So when students are telling uswhatever they're telling us
maybe we've asked a questionwe're often busy thinking about
what we're going to say andwe're really only half listening
to what they're going to saybecause we're listening with the
intent to respond.
(23:39):
So we're busy thinking well,then I'm going to tell him this
and then I'm going to react thatway rather than really
listening.
And that kind of listening,where you really focus on
hearing, takes practice.
So this is a good time Summeris a great time in some of the
(24:13):
great time in some of thesituations and topics here, to
really practice that fulllistening.
And some parents talk about howyou know my kid never talks to
me.
They never talk to me andsometimes I think that's because
they know we're not reallylistening.
We have the best of intentions,it's not that we don't care, but
they know they're going to saysomething and are we really
(24:37):
going to hear what they'retelling us?
And so maybe experimenting alittle bit with some new habits
and ways of listening, of givingit space, giving it time and
being a sounding board, insteadof coming in right away with the
advice, asking whether theywant our advice, you know, they
(24:58):
lay something out to us andinstead of coming right in and
saying, well, what you could dois this or what you should do,
is this, what you could do, isthis or what you should do is
this, sitting with it and thensaying, do you want my advice or
do you just want me to hearwhat you have to say?
Or just sounding it back.
You know, well, I'm hearing yousay that you really don't like
(25:23):
that subject, and the studentsays no, no, no, no, it's not
that it's that I don't like thesubject, and the student says no
, no, no, no, it's not that it'sthat I don't like the professor
, and so it's different, butit's so important.
Lynn Abrahams (25:34):
You know it occurs to me that the summer
before college there's a lot ofmaterial out there about
students and the transitionthey're going through, but what
you're addressing in this ebookis the shifts that parents are
going through to.
You know that there are.
They're shifting also fromparenting a high school student
(25:56):
to parenting a college student.
One thing that you do in thisebook is give some real good
information that parents don'tknow or may not know and that
helps with that shift.
Like you know, you write aboutFERPA in a way that makes sense.
Vicki Nelson (26:14):
I knew you were going to think FERPA.
Lynn Abrahams (26:17):
And there are other things.
I mean, what other things canyou think of that are in there?
Vicki Nelson (26:21):
Well, you're right in pointing out FERPA, because
FERPA is one of the mostimportant ones and there is a
chapter on that understandingthat when students go to college
, the right to their academicinformation belongs to them and
not to parents.
And then again, going back toconversations, that it's
(26:45):
important to have a conversationwith your student.
A lot of students have neverheard of FERPA, so if the
information in that chapter herecan help parents understand it,
to explain it, to their kids Tothen explain it to their
students and then decidetogether whether, because it
(27:06):
means bottom line, it means thatall academic information,
including grades, are going togo to your student and not to
the parent.
And you can have a student signa FERPA waiver which says it's
okay for you to release thingslike my grades to my parents.
And many parents will sayimmediately well, of course,
sign this FERPA waiver because Iwant to see your grades.
(27:30):
But then thinking about, whatmessage is that sending to my
student?
Is that saying I don't trustthat when I say what are your
grades, you're going to tell me?
And is that the message that Iwant to send right away?
So again, that's a conversation.
So the FERPA.
(27:51):
And then there there's someinformation about health, proxy
and HIPAA that you know.
If your students in a caraccident and they're unconscious
, the hospital can't tell youanything because they are, you
know, legally there's not arelease, so you can.
(28:13):
There's some paperwork that youcan do over the summer that
says that you know parents canhave access to that information
in an emergency.
Some things about thinking,thinking about a departure plan
(28:33):
for students, which doesn't meanthinking about how you're going
to drop out of college.
That's not what that's talkingabout, but it's in an emergency.
Does your student have like aweather emergency or some kind
of crisis on?
campus hurricane or you knowwhatever?
Um, does your student have aplan of what they're going to do
(28:54):
if they have to leave campus,if the campus is evacuated?
Um, for, for whatever reason?
Um, and thinking now ahead oftime, proactively?
Um, let's plan together whatare you going to do?
You know, will you make sureyou always have a little cash?
Do you know where you'll go?
(29:15):
Do we have relatives that liveclose or friends that live close
to where you go to college thatare willing that we could
contact and say, in an emergency, would you be willing?
You know?
Just, that's some of theinformation that parents may not
realize.
There's some financial piecestoo, money stuff.
(29:35):
Oh yeah, not only the big money, the tuition money, but many
parents don't realize how manyother small incremental fees
there are going to be and othercosts, and how much textbooks
cost.
I mean, it's outrageous,textbooks cost way too much and
(29:59):
I think most of us agree aboutthat, but we can't do anything
about it.
So if you have a student whohas five classes and they need
five, and subclasses requiremore than one book and they need
five books, it would not beunreasonable for it to cost four
, five, six hundred dollars fora semester's books.
(30:21):
Now you multiply that by eightsemesters, they can sell them
back, but they usually don't getvery much, so anticipating some
of the extra costs is reallyimportant.
So, yeah, there's information,things to know.
Lynn Abrahams (30:39):
You know you also give some great tips on packing
and getting ready to go, likeeven a first aid.
You know list of things to pack.
I never knew that.
Vicki Nelson (30:55):
Well, yeah, I mean , we've both said Lynn for as
long as we've been doing thepodcast.
We wish we had known when wesent our kids what we know now.
And that was a little bit on mymind as I was doing this too.
Oh gosh, it would have beennice to know now.
And that was a little bit on mymind as I was doing this too.
Oh gosh, it would have beennice to know this.
Oh, it would have been good ifI had known that back then.
But I don't even know if I sentmy student with a first aid kit
(31:17):
.
Lynn Abrahams (31:18):
I probably gave them Band-Aids or something, I
don't remember.
Vicki Nelson (31:21):
Because there are wonderful health centers on
campus but not everything raisesto the level of going to the
health center you get.
You know you cut yourself witha knife, you need to know what
kind of ointment to put on itand you need to have some
band-aids and you wake up with afever.
You know it's nice to have athermometer and find out how
(31:41):
much you really have and youknow if you have a cough, when
do you go?
When do you go to the healthcenter and when do you deal with
it?
So, yeah, things to go into afirst aid kit and then talking
to your student about what to dowith the things that are in the
first aid kit, because if yousend them with this packed thing
(32:02):
and they don't know whatanything is or when to use what,
it doesn't help.
And then my favorite is the ideaof a comfort pack and I've
included some things there tothink about.
And that's really something yousort of box up and wrap up and
(32:23):
give to your student to tuck intheir luggage and say you know,
this is for when, that firsttime when you get sick, because
it's inevitable, almostinevitable, long about October,
they all start dropping likeflies because they've been
sharing all their germs in theresidence hall and it's cold
(32:45):
season and flu season starts andall, and they, you know they
can get something that's notlife-threatening but they feel
pretty miserable and that firsttime away from home feeling
miserable is kind of tough.
So you know that's when youpull out this pack that I sent
with you that you know maybe hassome, you know some, chicken
(33:08):
soup in it and you know a niceblanket, a comfortable blanket,
maybe some magazines and youknow maybe a DVD.
I don't know, it's verypersonal, but to think about
some of the kinds of things thatif you can't be there when your
student feels sick, what mightbe some things?
Lynn Abrahams (33:30):
that they would like Even just a card.
Yeah, yeah, I really appreciatethat there is a glossary at the
end of this of terms that youknow that apply to college.
I mean, it's a new language andit's just really helpful for
parents to know the new language.
Announcer (33:51):
Yep.
Lynn Abrahams (33:52):
And then you also give a list of books for
parents and a book in a list forbooks for students.
We like books.
Vicki Nelson (33:59):
Have we ever not talked about books, lynn?
We have every year.
The podcast is now in its sixthyear and every year we've done
a podcast episode on summerreads things to read for the
summer and I think that's comingup.
I'm not sure this year's hascome out yet, but you know we've
(34:22):
each chosen two, three, fourbooks that we think are great
and we've recommended them.
So I couldn't not recommendsome books for parents to read
and then some books for studentsto read, and you're right about
the terminology.
We've done two or three podcastepisodes, I think on talking the
(34:44):
talk and knowing the lingo, soI compiled that a little bit.
It helps to have some idea andwhen your student comes home and
starts spouting these terms,you have some idea of what they
are.
Lynn Abrahams (35:01):
Well, I have to say I do recommend this book
highly.
Vicki Nelson (35:05):
Thank you for your highly unbiased opinion.
Lynn Abrahams (35:11):
But really it's filled with such important
information, but it's an easyread also.
Vicki Nelson (35:17):
Yeah, I really tried Short chapters and easy to
grasp, easy read also.
Yeah, I, I really triedchapters yeah, I tried to do
that.
I mean it's a little scary whenyou know if you look at the
table of contents and there are49 chapters and you know kind of
ah.
But I tried to keep most ofthem to a page or two.
Um, and and, rather than bigchapters that you know you have
(35:42):
to wade through to get theinformation you need, I opted
for lots of short, very specificchapters.
So, yes, hopefully parents sitdown and you know, read it.
But also to be able to pick itup at any point in the summer
and say I need to know somethingabout a first aid kit and I can
(36:04):
find that chapter and I don'thave to read a 15-page chapter
to get the information I need.
Lynn Abrahams (36:11):
So how do parents get this book?
Vicki Nelson (36:13):
Oh, it's only available on the College Parent
Central website.
Okay, so that's the only placeyou can get it and you just go
to collegeparentcentralcom andthen there's a tab that says
Resources and the dropdown ofthat has e-books.
So you can go there and readmore about it, get a little more
(36:39):
sense of what's in it and orderit right there.
There's also another e-bookthere.
If you are not the parent of agraduate but you have a student
in high school, there's anothere-book there some tips on.
That's a much smaller, shorterone, but, um, some practical
(37:01):
tips for using the last year ortwo of high school to help them
get ready.
So you can start with that andget help them through high
school and then, when it comestime for the summer, before
college, move on to to this one,but collegeparentcentralcom,
the tab that says resources andthen ebooks, and there you are
(37:26):
it's fabulous.
Lynn Abrahams (37:27):
I wish I had had it back way back me too fabulous
job.
Vicki Nelson (37:33):
thanks for talking to me about it and I hope um, I
hope some parents will find ituseful and you know we'll put
the link if you go to the shownotes.
We'll put the link there in theshow notes and also my email
(37:53):
address so that if you do getthe book and you have feedback,
I'd love to hear it.
Or if there are additionalquestions, let me know.
If you do get the book and youhave feedback, I'd love to hear
it.
Lynn Abrahams (38:05):
Or if there are additional questions, let me
know.
We'll give us ideas for newepisodes.
Vicki Nelson (38:08):
Yeah, that's true, we'll keep talking about
everything else.
We also, though, by the way, dohave a series of three episodes
way back that touch on thesetopics, and then this allowed me
, you know, to go deeper in thebook.
So if you look back to episodes43, 44, and 45, those are all
(38:34):
about summer prep, so that wouldbe some additional information.
Lynn Abrahams (38:39):
Well, this is a very thorough um and easy read,
though too.
Fabulous thanks.
Vicki Nelson (38:46):
Thank you, vicki, thanks for having me as a guest
on the podcast.
This was fun all right, thankseverybody.
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