September 3, 2025 • 37 mins
Sending your child to college triggers that universal parental worry: who will take care of my student when I’m not there? As parents shift from caretaking to coaching, it's natural to wonder who fills that support gap on campus. The good news? Your student is surrounded by more help than either of you might realize. In this episode, Vicki and Lynn unpack the comprehensive support network that exists on every campus. From academic advisors who serve as mentors to professors who welcome student visits during office hours, your student has academic champions ready to guide them. Beyond these formal structures, we reveal the often-overlooked supports: residence hall staff who create safe living environments, academic success centers that boost learning strategies, and even campus workers like dining hall employees who often know students by name. We also remind you that parents remain a steady presence, helping your student recognize when to seek help and from whom. ." By understanding this support ecosystem, you can help your student navigate their college years with confidence, knowing they're surrounded by people who care about their success.
Thank you for listening!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
Whether your child is justbeginning the college admission
process or is already in college, this podcast is for you.
You'll find food for thoughtand information about college
and about navigating thatdelicate balance of guidance,
involvement and knowing when toget out of the way.
(00:31):
Join your hosts, vicki Nelsonand Lynn Abrahams, as they share
support and a celebration ofthe amazing child in college.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
This is the place where we talkabout so many things connected
to parenting our kids as theymake the shift from high school
to college and parenting throughthose college years.
Let me start just byintroducing ourselves.
My name is Lynn Abrahams.
(01:08):
I have worked pretty much mywhole career with college
students who have diagnosedlearning disabilities, learning
differences, and so I've workedclosely with with students and
their families.
I'm also a mom of two sons whohave been in and through and
(01:31):
around college, so I can speakabout those stories as well.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I'm here with my good friend and colleague and I am
Vicki Nelson and I'll do it inreverse.
I am also the parent, but Ihave the girls, lynn has the
gentlemen, I have the ladies andthey have gone to college and
come out the other side as well.
And so I've experienced collegeparenting three times and it
(02:02):
was different with everyone.
And I am also a collegeprofessor of communication, so I
meet with students every day inthe classroom and as an
academic advisor and workingwith students.
So we both have had theopportunity of being parents and
also seeing other students andseeing what works and what they
(02:24):
struggle with and all andthinking a lot about how those
two things fit together theparenting of those students.
So here we are to talk aboutthat.
And we have a topic we wantedto talk about today.
Is that concern that we have asparents and I think it's pretty
(02:46):
universal when we're sending ourstudent off to college for the
first time, there is thatnagging thing of who's going to
take care of my student.
I've been here as the parent.
We talk about moving fromcaretaking to coaching and the
parents' role shifts.
(03:07):
But if you shift fromcaretaking to coaching,
sometimes you worry about who'sgoing to take over the
caretaking part.
And who's going to take care ofmy student.
I'll be all alone there atschool.
That occur to us and that wewanted to talk a little bit
about is how many people thereare on campus that are there to
(03:29):
connect with and support andtake care of your student.
And so I think we have a sortof a dual idea in mind with
today's podcast, and one is toreassure you as a parent, that
there are people who are oncampus ready to take care of
(03:51):
your student and we'll talkabout who some of those people
are but then also for you to beable to pass that information on
to your student so that theyknow they have this web of
support out there and where theplaces are that they can go
Absolutely.
(04:11):
So that's what we want to talkabout, and these are in no
particular order other than therandom order.
We thought of them, and so I'llgo first and I'll start, and
I'll start with the beginning ofthe alphabet.
Again, it's totally random, butthat is the student's academic
advisor.
And at college most collegesnothing is universal, but at
(04:36):
most colleges, students, whenthey arrive, are assigned an
academic advisor.
That might be a faculty member,it might be a staff member in
an advising office, but it'ssomeone.
It's the student's go-to person.
It's the person who's assignedand their job is to help that
(04:58):
student navigate the curriculum,navigate courses, navigate
course selection.
But also the person who cangive advice and is an advisor
about the major, about thecurriculum, but also just
generally.
A student has a question,doesn't know where to go, what
(05:20):
to do.
Their academic advisor is aperson who really gets to know
them one-on-one, depending onthe school the advisor might
have.
If it's a professional advisor,they might have a lot of
assigned advisees, but often ifit's a faculty advisor or in
some other systems I know I'm afaculty advisor I have currently
(05:43):
21 advisees and that's a lotfor our school it's usually more
like 15 to 18.
So there's really anopportunity for that advisor to
serve as a mentor and to bethere for your student.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
You know, I had the experience of doing some
advising in the summer for a fewyears and I found that, first
of all, I was often, in thatrole, the first faculty member a
student met, so I could letthem know that we weren't going
to be scary, we weren't going toyou know, so that's.
(06:21):
And then, because I was thefirst person they met, they came
back and asked me questions.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Because I felt, you know, it felt safe for them
because they already met me.
So that relationship can oftenbe like the person that your
student will continue to go to.
I saw students even when theywere not my advisor anymore.
I always told people to stop bymy office, and so it can be
(06:49):
that person.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Yeah, and the advisor can also be the person who can
pave the way for them withsomeone else.
Let me walk you to thisperson's office, or I'll send
this person an email and letthem know you're coming, or
something like that, so it canbe a doorway as well.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Right.
So that connects with the nextperson on campus who's who's
played such an important role,and that's the professors.
As a professor, I agree yes,we're very important, very
important, but often we are thepeople, as professors, who see
the student when there'ssomething going on.
(07:29):
We're the ones that get oureyes on the student and see if
there's something worrisome orif they're looking good, so it's
often the most important personon campus.
Plus, if students are figuringout their major, if they're
(07:49):
figuring out what they want tobe doing in years, if they have
questions about the campus, theprofessors would love to answer
questions usually, and you knowthat's an important person to go
to to talk, we like to talkabout what we do.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I mean, most of us are in a field because we love
the field, and when a studentcomes and says I'm interested in
the thing you're teaching andthat you're doing, just have a
seat and let me tell you aboutit because we like to do that
and you know I would add onepossible.
I mean you can always make anappointment with a professor,
(08:28):
but one possible time to do thatis office hours, and I think
parents could help studentsunderstand that office hours
mean this is the time I'm in myoffice and available to you.
This is the time you know tostop by.
This is the you.
This is the time I'm, you knowto stop by.
This is the you know.
Lynn, you talked about, youknow I had students who would
(08:49):
just stop by my office.
That's what we want them to do.
Sometimes students think officehours means this is the time
the professor wants to beworking on their things and
don't bother them.
It's exactly the opposite ofwhat it is so often.
You know, as faculty, many ofus complain a lot that students
(09:14):
don't use office hours.
I'm there to go over materialwith you, to answer questions,
to just talk to you, to tell youabout what I do, yeah, and to
make that contact.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
And I just want to add a reminder that the office
hours are for the students andnot for the parents.
Yes, office hours are for thestudents and not for the parents
.
Yes, so often when you do calla professor, they're not going
to be able to tell you muchinformation, and the role of
(09:48):
being a parent is to step asideand encourage your student to
make an appointment with aprofessor.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, and maybe help your student anticipate that
appointment.
You know, what should you takewith you.
What kinds of questions willyou ask so that it I don't know
why we all seem so scary tostudents, but they are nervous
about that sort of thing.
So parents can help themunderstand what's going to
happen and almost practice alittle bit, for an appointment,
(10:17):
and how to reach out too isanother piece.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I did get emails in the past saying, hey, prof you
know, hey, prof, but you knowsort of the professional way to
reach out, To write an email.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Yeah, yeah, we can list in the show notes.
I think we have a couple ofearlier podcasts where we did a
little bit of ranting about someof those things.
But it means that the studentwho writes me a nice polished
email dear Professor Nelson, myname is and I'm in your 1030
(10:51):
communication class and I have aquestion and all of that that's
the standout student.
I, you know, I reallyappreciate that sort of thing.
All right, I want to go on toanother one, and this one's a
little more formal and thatwould be, for some students, the
counseling center.
Just about every school has acounseling center where students
(11:11):
can go and talk to someoneabout whatever is on their mind,
and often, especially for newcollege students, I think it's
anxiety and stress and some ofthose things.
I think most of the timecounseling centers ask students
to make appointments unless it'san emergency, and there are
(11:34):
times, and there have been timeswhen I've met with a student
ask students to makeappointments unless it's an
emergency, you know, and thereare times and there have been
times when I've met with astudent said I think you need to
talk to someone in thecounseling center.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Let me walk you over, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I have to yeah and so , but they may have to make an
appointment and sometimes theymay have to wait a little bit
for an appointment.
Mental health is a huge issue.
We have a couple of podcastsabout that and we'll share those
in the show notes, and socounseling centers are busy and
so sometimes students may haveto wait just a little bit.
(12:04):
But they'll have an opportunityto someone who's trained as a
psychologist to work with themand talk with them and help them
, and usually the people whowork in college counseling
centers are trained in thestruggles that college students
have.
It's a specialized sort ofthing, so it's really great and
(12:29):
students should take advantage.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And remind your student that it's confidential
when you speak to a counselor,you, counselor.
It's just between them and thecounselor.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yep, that's covered by HIPAA.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
So that's really important and really all
colleges and universities havesome sort of counseling center
and they advertise how to reachthem.
So that's really important andthat connects with the next one,
which is the health center.
Some counseling centers are inthe health center.
(13:01):
I mean it depends on you knowthe different schools.
But, um, it's really good whenstudents get on campus, when
they take their first walkaround and figure out where
things are, to know where thehealth center is.
I know that when my kids firstwent to college the first time
(13:27):
my son Josh got sick, he calledme.
And I had to tell him that hisnext step was to call the health
center and make an appointmentand get a strep test or whatever
it was, or get a COVID test.
So students need to startgetting comfortable with the
fact that it's theirresponsibility to reach out to
the health center and allcolleges and universities have
(13:48):
some sort of medical support forstudents.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
And they may have a walk-in health center.
Maybe they can just walk in,but they may have to call and
make an appointment.
So, ahead of time, parents cantalk to students about how to
make an appointment.
What are they going to ask me?
What do I need?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
You might need your health card, your health
insurance card, or whatever, andfolks in a health center are
usually very they'reparticularly good at working
with first-year students.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
They know that first-year students need a
little more support and they'reused to first-year students
coming in and, like the peoplein the counseling center,
they're used to the kinds ofthings that college students are
apt to come with questionsabout.
We have an episode on.
Are apt to come with questionsabout.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
We have an episode on let's see a book about health
for college students?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Yes, Dr Jill Grimes' book.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Great.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yes, so we're just going to link to episode episode
, episode after this.
Yeah, that's a good one.
So counseling centers andhealth centers.
Thinking a little more aboutacademics, many colleges have
something called a successcenter or an academic center,
academic support center,something of that nature.
(15:06):
You know, at our school it'scalled the Office of Advising
and Academic Success, so they'vecombined those things there and
academic success.
So they've combined thosethings there.
But the staff members there areusually the ones who can work
particularly with students whoare struggling.
Maybe a student and thiswouldn't be a first semester
(15:28):
student, but a student who's onprobation, who is maybe a second
semester student, who had a notsuccessful first semester, is
on academic warning or academicprobation, and then they might
have a success counselor whowould meet with them even weekly
to help them work on the timemanagement skills or academic
(15:50):
skills that they need.
So it's worth investigatingwhat.
It's a little different.
We'll talk about a tutoringcenter, but it's a little
different.
They're coordinators orcounselors who work particularly
with helping students withtheir academic struggles in
(16:10):
navigating the soft skills thatthey need.
Not tutoring them about asubject, but just helping them
figure out what do they need todo, what are the strategies to
succeed?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
And in some colleges professors may send out like an
alert or something and the folksin the success office will get
that, so they'll have a studenton their radar if they're
struggling.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yes, so hopefully the student will reach out if they
know they need help.
But they might hear fromsomeone in the success center
and then they should answer thecall.
They should go and see them,because they can do a lot to
help them.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
You know, I think I want to jump down somewhere in
our list.
You're so rogue.
I'm going to ruin the rhythmhere, but I want to talk about
the support center because thatconnects a little bit to it.
I mean talk about writingsupport, math support, speaking
(17:13):
support, tutoring for specificclasses.
Sometimes that might be in thesame area as the advising
success.
And so, just to remind yourstudent to check out what their
college offers, most collegeshave a writing center because
(17:34):
most students struggle withwriting, that's just you know.
College writing is a wholedifferent level than high school
writing, so many colleges offersupport there.
There are some colleges thatoffer specific tutoring to
students, and some of that mightbe online tutoring.
Some of it might be with aprofessional.
(17:55):
Some of it might be onlinetutoring, um.
Some of it might be with a witha professional.
Some of it might be peertutoring, um, some colleges have
particular math and sciencesupport.
Um, so, um, there's always someacademic support for your
student, but it's on theirshoulders to look for it.
Um, had parents call me and saycan you get my son to the
(18:21):
writing center?
And my advice would be you maywant to bring that up with your
son.
I may bring it up, but I am notgoing to make anybody do
anything at the college level.
Students need to choose to dothat.
I may talk about what awonderful center we have, but
it's up to them.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
And you know interestingly, a lot of times
with a writing center and thewriting center isn't just
because I can't figure out howto write, but, you know, can you
help help me edit?
Can you help me polish?
Yep, um, to take a, you know ab paper and make it an a paper,
um, but I've noticed with bothwriting center and tutoring,
(19:05):
often it's some of the beststudents who make the most use
of it.
Yes, so.
So I think a message that thatparents can give to their
students is going to thetutoring center or the writing
center, which is a kind oftutoring center, is not seen at
(19:25):
all.
It's different, I think, inhigh school, in college it is
not seen as oh you know, you'rea dumb student, you have to go
to tutoring because you can't doit.
It's the students who want toturn that B into an A, the
students who would be crushed ifthey got an A so you know, it's
(19:47):
viewed very differently.
Its support there, you know,can you just help me?
And the writing centers aregreat, they can help students
brainstorm.
They can help studentsbrainstorm, they can help
students polish their grammar,they can help students figure
out how to organize the essay orthe paper or whatever, and
they're professionals who areready to do that.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
And some colleges offer even a speaking center.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Yes, a communicate?
Yes, and we used to have one.
We used to have one, a centerwhere students can go, and it's
the same sort of thing, but fororal presentations and practice
organizing and then practicegiving it and getting some
feedback and videotapinganalyzing.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
So lots of academic support.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Support centers is good.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
So, all right, you're jumping around.
I'm going to go back on thislittle list that we have and
think non-academic for a littlebit.
Another one that it can be areally good support for a
student could be a club advisoror someone in charge of an
affinity group, and by affinitygroup, you know, it's sometimes,
(20:55):
you know, like the BlackStudents Union or you know, the
International Students Club orsome group of some kind, and
those advisors who work withthose clubs, whether it's the
ski club or the radio club oryou know whatever and those
affinity groups are reallycommitted to those students who
are part of it.
(21:15):
So that can be a really goodperson that a student should
feel comfortable talking to andgoing to.
Just another piece of supportthere.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
We had somebody in our department who decided to do
a video club.
Like video games kind of thing.
And for some of the students Iworked with, that was their
place of safety.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
That was their home, so that was important, and some
of these groups and clubs have aliteral home as well.
They may have a space that'sset aside for them, and in
bigger universities it couldeven be a house.
So so those are.
Those are people who supporttoo.
I'm going to keep going.
(22:03):
I want to do one more becauseit's similar and that's an, an
athletic coach.
So those students who are onteams go to those coaches all
the time and and if your studentdid athletics in high school,
you have some sense of howcommitted a coach is to his, his
or her team members.
Uh, and I would say it's evenmore so on the college level.
(22:25):
You know they, they were thethe students bond with each
other, but they also really bondwith the coach and the coach is
really looking out for thestudents, their basic well-being
, but also because the coachwants them to do well
academically or they won't beallowed to play Right.
So that's a good person.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Really good, um, in the living situation, um, let's
talk a little bit about that.
Students have usually acommunity director, somebody
who's in charge of the, the dorm, and then usually a resident
assistant, sometimes for eachfloor.
(23:05):
Those people are crucial, inparticular the resident
assistants, at least in ourschool.
They're really well trained.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Oh, I think most places they are.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
And they know the kind of issues that are going to
come up.
They are a student, it's a peer, it's somebody your student can
go to with the questions thatthey think are dumb questions.
They can usually have thatperson as a mentor.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
And that is also another person on the front
lines that sees the studentevery day in their living
situation and will be, you know,could, will be a you know, an
early person who could spot astudent who is struggling or
having trouble or something likethat.
And the community director.
So the, the ras are studentswell-trained students and the
(23:58):
community directors are staffpeople, so they're trained on a
different level in terms oftaking care of students.
So, yeah, that's a realimportant one.
And then most campuses have achaplain or some kind of campus
ministry.
(24:18):
A chaplain or some kind ofcampus ministry and if a student
is involved in, well, even ifthey're not involved, anyone who
is in the spiritual life office, whatever their title might be,
is someone students can alwaysfeel that they can talk to and
(24:39):
get all kinds of support.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
That's a wonderful resource.
Here's a surprise kind ofresource and that's public
safety officers.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Sometimes public safety officers are the ones who
are around campus.
They're the ones you know.
Students see them all the time.
Sometimes they really reach outto students.
I know I have had students whoare majoring in criminal justice
who do ride-arounds with thepublic safety officers, but it's
(25:11):
usually a different kind offeeling than a police officer in
a town or city.
These are folks who are trainedto work again.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Work with college students yeah so it's um they
can actually be a support yeah,some students get very have very
close relationships withcertain public safety officers
because they see them all thetime they're around um and and
most of them, the officers,reach out and want to talk to
(25:42):
students.
The more they get to knowpeople in the community, the
more they are able to keepeverybody safe.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
It's a small community policing.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
It's really interesting to see the bond
sometimes with the public safetyofficers.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
And another one that I think is surprising, and it's
a staff thing, and that is oftenthe administrative assistants
or secretaries that are in thevarious offices, because they're
again, they're on the frontline.
If a student wants to, you know, make an appointment with the
dean or something or has somebusiness with the dean's office
(26:17):
or the registrar's office orwhatever, it's the person at
that front desk often that theytalk to and and all, and
sometimes they make very, youknow, they chat or whatever, and
then they make very closerelationships, especially a lot
of these staff people that we'retalking about.
If your student has a job oncampus, they'll really encounter
(26:39):
some of these people.
They may work side by side withthe administrative assistant,
or they may be the one whoanswers non-emergency phone
calls in the public safetyoffice.
So you know, thinking about howthey connect through their jobs
as well.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
And often the administrative assistant in a
particular major knowseverything.
Yes, like knows more than allthe professors you know because
they're sort of at the commanddesk you know, and so a good
person for a student to get toknow.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I'm going to.
We've sort of said we're goingto go back and forth but we're
all way off from our plan.
Anyway.
I want to do the next onebecause I love this one.
It's all of those campusworkers.
I mean, we talked about publicsafety and we talked about
secretaries because they're kindof frontline, but it's all
those other campus workers thatare all around campus, that
(27:32):
students.
You never know what student isgoing to connect with what
person.
So it's the people who work inthe library, the people who work
at the front desk at thelibrary and they encounter it
could be the custodian thatcleans the residence hall, and
this really goes back.
I remember as a first yearstudent living in the residence
(27:57):
hall on campus.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
This is you.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
This is me, so this is a year or two ago and two of
the people we you know, a lot ofus had great relationships with
were the public safety officerwho walked the hall at night.
I don't know if they do itanymore, but we had somebody who
(28:19):
just came through like one inthe morning just to make sure
everything was okay, and thenthe custodian that cleaned the
hall and cleaned our bathroomsand did that, and we would see
that person just about everysingle day and it was a great
(28:40):
relationship and it was fun, andso it can be those public
safety officers.
It could be the custodian.
The librarian Buildings andgrounds are people who are
around campus all the time andsome students connect with the
van or bus driver.
Often, if there's a regular vanor a bus that goes around
(29:01):
campus or a shuttle that runssomewhere, um are other people,
and then the other one are thefood service the dining hall
folks, the dining hall folks areamazing and really get to know.
You know, sometimes get to knowwhat kinds of food your student
likes, or some.
Sometimes we'll save a littlesomething for somebody.
We have one in our dining hallwho's been there for years and
(29:25):
everyone on campus knows her andI swear she knows every
student's name.
And they walk in the dininghall and it's a hi, lynn, how
are you, how's it going?
And I joke.
And I told her I go to tocommencement every year and year
after year after year, in astudent commencement speech
(29:45):
where they're summing up theirexperiences at the college, her
name gets brought up every year,after every year.
So it's amazing thoseconnections that they can make.
Just a couple more.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Let's see, it's your turn.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
What's more?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Where are we?
Speaker 3 (30:02):
The student advocate.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Oh, did I add that.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
I don't have that one .
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Okay, we're very organized here today folks.
Okay, I have two more that Iadded after I sent the list to
Lynn.
Okay, and I apologize.
One is a student advocate andnot all schools have it, but and
I apologize, one is a studentadvocate and not all schools
have it, but some schools dohave one with different titles,
often in a dean's office orsomething, but it's someone who
(30:30):
is just that.
It's a person who willrepresent your student, or it's
the kind of person your studentgoes to when they don't know who
to go to.
They don't want to go to theiradvisor, or it's not an academic
thing, so they don't know whoto go to.
They don't want to go to theiradvisor, or it's not an academic
thing, so they don't think theyshould go to their advisor.
Maybe they're having adifficulty with a particular
professor and they don't knowhow to deal with that.
(30:54):
You know, maybe somethinghappened, I don't know, it's
worth checking.
Some schools have someone, astudent ombudsman or a student
advocate or something like that.
So we used to have one.
I don't think we do anymore.
And then the last thing I addedwe've talked about it, we've
touched on it, and that is justpeers.
You know, students, friendsfirst of all, can be a great
(31:15):
support system.
You talked about an RA andthat's a peer thing.
Peer tutors are great.
Sometimes parents particularly,I think, when their student is
being tutored say I want, youknow, I want a professional
tutor.
I don't want a student tutoring.
But sometimes students are bestbecause they've been in the
(31:36):
class and they know the subject,they know what the student's
really going to have to learn.
Professional tutors sometimes,because if I'm a professional
math tutor, it's because mathhas always been easy for me and
it might be hard for me tounderstand the student's
struggles.
And then some schools useteaching assistants.
(31:56):
Those are students and theother one is a team captain.
If your student is an athlete,the captain is usually someone
on the team who is respected,has some leadership, has some
experience and is a good personto go to.
So it's a pretty comprehensivelist of people who are there.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
So it's good to know, when you send your kids off,
that there's probably moresupport than you realize.
There's probably more supportthan your student realizes.
I do want to have just say onereminder to parents, and that's
that you still are a veryimportant support to your
(32:37):
students off campus.
You are important support toyour students off campus.
You are, you know, incrediblyimportant, but it is in a
different way than you were inhigh school, so you know your
job would be to remind yourstudents that all these things
are out there for them.
Your job would be to, you know,to listen to what's going on,
(33:01):
not necessarily fixing, but justlistening.
Listening.
You know your kids best also,and so you may know where to
help, guide them or support themto.
You know where to go to getsome help.
So, even though your role isnot to solve any problems, your
(33:21):
role is still crucial and it'sto be there to encourage your
students to believe in them andknow that they can do it.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
And help them believe in themselves Right and know
that they can do it Right.
That's such a that's such agood and important message for
us as parents to hear.
I wanted to add one note and Ishould have done it before you
did that, because yours is sucha good way to end, but one note
that you might remind yourstudent and hopefully they never
(33:53):
need to know.
But, that is, depending on what,why they're going to someone,
why they need to talk to someoneif it is something that
involves criminal action, if itis something they want to talk
(34:16):
to somebody because they've beenassaulted, they've been
sexually assaulted, they've beenraped, they've been sexually
harassed, threatened, somethingof that nature.
What they need to remember isthat most of the people not all
most of the people we talkedabout are what we call mandatory
(34:38):
reporters, and that means, ifI'm an academic advisor, if a
student comes to me and sayssomething happened to me over
the weekend and I want to talkto somebody about it and I want
to tell you, but please don'ttell anybody Before that student
(34:58):
says anything, I need to say tothat student.
You need to understand I'm amandatory reporter.
If you're going to tell meabout something, let's say
sexual assault, I'm going tohave to report that to the Title
IX office.
I'm required by law to do thatand so, if it's something like
that, go talk to the counselingcenter covered by HIPAA.
(35:23):
They do not.
The health center covered byHIPAA, they do not.
And, depending on the state,the chaplain or campus ministry
may or may not have to report,but all the rest of us are
legally required to report.
All the rest of us are legallyrequired to report Now it's rare
.
Thank goodness it's rare thatthese things happen on campus,
(35:50):
but it's important that studentsknow you know I want to be
there for them.
But they have to know that ifthey tell me and I can help them
through the process, then Ifyou tell me that I can help you
now, we'll figure out who weneed to report to and I can, you
know, be there to support you.
But I think that's important.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
So there's all of our supports.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
And then just the reminder of what Lynn said
before I jumped in with thisdowner about mandatory reporting
, and that is parents.
You're still so important inhelping your students um figure
out how they handle things andwho can help them handle it.
Um, with all this support there, and, uh, parents know that,
you know, know that your, yourkid, isn't there on their own.
(36:33):
Yeah, college isn't anindividual sport it's a team,
group activity.
So thanks for listening andbeing with us.
We hope this was helpful.
We're going to put a lot oflinks in the show notes of other
episodes about a number of thethings that we talked about, and
if you know someone else whohas a student going to college,
(36:56):
headed to college soon or incollege, share this with them
and maybe it will be helpful tothem too.
Word of mouth is the greatestadvertising we can get, so
thanks a lot and we'll see younext time.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
See you later.
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
Whether your child is justbeginning the college admission
process or is already in college, this podcast is for you.
You'll find food for thoughtand information about college
and about navigating thatdelicate balance of guidance,
involvement and knowing when toget out of the way.
(00:31):
Join your hosts, vicki Nelsonand Lynn Abrahams, as they share
support and a celebration ofthe amazing child in college.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
Welcome to the College Parent Central podcast.
This is the place where we talkabout so many things connected
to parenting our kids as theymake the shift from high school
to college and parenting throughthose college years.
Let me start just byintroducing ourselves.
My name is Lynn Abrahams.
(01:08):
I have worked pretty much mywhole career with college
students who have diagnosedlearning disabilities, learning
differences, and so I've workedclosely with with students and
their families.
I'm also a mom of two sons whohave been in and through and
(01:31):
around college, so I can speakabout those stories as well.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
I'm here with my good friend and colleague and I am
Vicki Nelson and I'll do it inreverse.
I am also the parent, but Ihave the girls, lynn has the
gentlemen, I have the ladies andthey have gone to college and
come out the other side as well.
And so I've experienced collegeparenting three times and it
(02:02):
was different with everyone.
And I am also a collegeprofessor of communication, so I
meet with students every day inthe classroom and as an
academic advisor and workingwith students.
So we both have had theopportunity of being parents and
also seeing other students andseeing what works and what they
(02:24):
struggle with and all andthinking a lot about how those
two things fit together theparenting of those students.
So here we are to talk aboutthat.
And we have a topic we wantedto talk about today.
Is that concern that we have asparents and I think it's pretty
(02:46):
universal when we're sending ourstudent off to college for the
first time, there is thatnagging thing of who's going to
take care of my student.
I've been here as the parent.
We talk about moving fromcaretaking to coaching and the
parents' role shifts.
(03:07):
But if you shift fromcaretaking to coaching,
sometimes you worry about who'sgoing to take over the
caretaking part.
And who's going to take care ofmy student.
I'll be all alone there atschool.
That occur to us and that wewanted to talk a little bit
about is how many people thereare on campus that are there to
(03:29):
connect with and support andtake care of your student.
And so I think we have a sortof a dual idea in mind with
today's podcast, and one is toreassure you as a parent, that
there are people who are oncampus ready to take care of
(03:51):
your student and we'll talkabout who some of those people
are but then also for you to beable to pass that information on
to your student so that theyknow they have this web of
support out there and where theplaces are that they can go
Absolutely.
(04:11):
So that's what we want to talkabout, and these are in no
particular order other than therandom order.
We thought of them, and so I'llgo first and I'll start, and
I'll start with the beginning ofthe alphabet.
Again, it's totally random, butthat is the student's academic
advisor.
And at college most collegesnothing is universal, but at
(04:36):
most colleges, students, whenthey arrive, are assigned an
academic advisor.
That might be a faculty member,it might be a staff member in
an advising office, but it'ssomeone.
It's the student's go-to person.
It's the person who's assignedand their job is to help that
(04:58):
student navigate the curriculum,navigate courses, navigate
course selection.
But also the person who cangive advice and is an advisor
about the major, about thecurriculum, but also just
generally.
A student has a question,doesn't know where to go, what
(05:20):
to do.
Their academic advisor is aperson who really gets to know
them one-on-one, depending onthe school the advisor might
have.
If it's a professional advisor,they might have a lot of
assigned advisees, but often ifit's a faculty advisor or in
some other systems I know I'm afaculty advisor I have currently
(05:43):
21 advisees and that's a lotfor our school it's usually more
like 15 to 18.
So there's really anopportunity for that advisor to
serve as a mentor and to bethere for your student.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
You know, I had the experience of doing some
advising in the summer for a fewyears and I found that, first
of all, I was often, in thatrole, the first faculty member a
student met, so I could letthem know that we weren't going
to be scary, we weren't going toyou know, so that's.
(06:21):
And then, because I was thefirst person they met, they came
back and asked me questions.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Because I felt, you know, it felt safe for them
because they already met me.
So that relationship can oftenbe like the person that your
student will continue to go to.
I saw students even when theywere not my advisor anymore.
I always told people to stop bymy office, and so it can be
(06:49):
that person.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Yeah, and the advisor can also be the person who can
pave the way for them withsomeone else.
Let me walk you to thisperson's office, or I'll send
this person an email and letthem know you're coming, or
something like that, so it canbe a doorway as well.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Right.
So that connects with the nextperson on campus who's who's
played such an important role,and that's the professors.
As a professor, I agree yes,we're very important, very
important, but often we are thepeople, as professors, who see
the student when there'ssomething going on.
(07:29):
We're the ones that get oureyes on the student and see if
there's something worrisome orif they're looking good, so it's
often the most important personon campus.
Plus, if students are figuringout their major, if they're
(07:49):
figuring out what they want tobe doing in years, if they have
questions about the campus, theprofessors would love to answer
questions usually, and you knowthat's an important person to go
to to talk, we like to talkabout what we do.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
I mean, most of us are in a field because we love
the field, and when a studentcomes and says I'm interested in
the thing you're teaching andthat you're doing, just have a
seat and let me tell you aboutit because we like to do that
and you know I would add onepossible.
I mean you can always make anappointment with a professor,
(08:28):
but one possible time to do thatis office hours, and I think
parents could help studentsunderstand that office hours
mean this is the time I'm in myoffice and available to you.
This is the time you know tostop by.
This is the you.
This is the time I'm, you knowto stop by.
This is the you know.
Lynn, you talked about, youknow I had students who would
(08:49):
just stop by my office.
That's what we want them to do.
Sometimes students think officehours means this is the time
the professor wants to beworking on their things and
don't bother them.
It's exactly the opposite ofwhat it is so often.
You know, as faculty, many ofus complain a lot that students
(09:14):
don't use office hours.
I'm there to go over materialwith you, to answer questions,
to just talk to you, to tell youabout what I do, yeah, and to
make that contact.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
And I just want to add a reminder that the office
hours are for the students andnot for the parents.
Yes, office hours are for thestudents and not for the parents
.
Yes, so often when you do calla professor, they're not going
to be able to tell you muchinformation, and the role of
(09:48):
being a parent is to step asideand encourage your student to
make an appointment with aprofessor.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Yeah, and maybe help your student anticipate that
appointment.
You know, what should you takewith you.
What kinds of questions willyou ask so that it I don't know
why we all seem so scary tostudents, but they are nervous
about that sort of thing.
So parents can help themunderstand what's going to
happen and almost practice alittle bit, for an appointment,
(10:17):
and how to reach out too isanother piece.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
I did get emails in the past saying, hey, prof you
know, hey, prof, but you knowsort of the professional way to
reach out, To write an email.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
Yeah, yeah, we can list in the show notes.
I think we have a couple ofearlier podcasts where we did a
little bit of ranting about someof those things.
But it means that the studentwho writes me a nice polished
email dear Professor Nelson, myname is and I'm in your 1030
(10:51):
communication class and I have aquestion and all of that that's
the standout student.
I, you know, I reallyappreciate that sort of thing.
All right, I want to go on toanother one, and this one's a
little more formal and thatwould be, for some students, the
counseling center.
Just about every school has acounseling center where students
(11:11):
can go and talk to someoneabout whatever is on their mind,
and often, especially for newcollege students, I think it's
anxiety and stress and some ofthose things.
I think most of the timecounseling centers ask students
to make appointments unless it'san emergency, and there are
(11:34):
times, and there have been timeswhen I've met with a student
ask students to makeappointments unless it's an
emergency, you know, and thereare times and there have been
times when I've met with astudent said I think you need to
talk to someone in thecounseling center.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Let me walk you over, yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
I have to yeah and so , but they may have to make an
appointment and sometimes theymay have to wait a little bit
for an appointment.
Mental health is a huge issue.
We have a couple of podcastsabout that and we'll share those
in the show notes, and socounseling centers are busy and
so sometimes students may haveto wait just a little bit.
(12:04):
But they'll have an opportunityto someone who's trained as a
psychologist to work with themand talk with them and help them
, and usually the people whowork in college counseling
centers are trained in thestruggles that college students
have.
It's a specialized sort ofthing, so it's really great and
(12:29):
students should take advantage.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
And remind your student that it's confidential
when you speak to a counselor,you, counselor.
It's just between them and thecounselor.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yep, that's covered by HIPAA.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
So that's really important and really all
colleges and universities havesome sort of counseling center
and they advertise how to reachthem.
So that's really important andthat connects with the next one,
which is the health center.
Some counseling centers are inthe health center.
(13:01):
I mean it depends on you knowthe different schools.
But, um, it's really good whenstudents get on campus, when
they take their first walkaround and figure out where
things are, to know where thehealth center is.
I know that when my kids firstwent to college the first time
(13:27):
my son Josh got sick, he calledme.
And I had to tell him that hisnext step was to call the health
center and make an appointmentand get a strep test or whatever
it was, or get a COVID test.
So students need to startgetting comfortable with the
fact that it's theirresponsibility to reach out to
the health center and allcolleges and universities have
(13:48):
some sort of medical support forstudents.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
And they may have a walk-in health center.
Maybe they can just walk in,but they may have to call and
make an appointment.
So, ahead of time, parents cantalk to students about how to
make an appointment.
What are they going to ask me?
What do I need?
Speaker 2 (14:05):
You might need your health card, your health
insurance card, or whatever, andfolks in a health center are
usually very they'reparticularly good at working
with first-year students.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
They know that first-year students need a
little more support and they'reused to first-year students
coming in and, like the peoplein the counseling center,
they're used to the kinds ofthings that college students are
apt to come with questionsabout.
We have an episode on.
Are apt to come with questionsabout.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
We have an episode on let's see a book about health
for college students?
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Yes, Dr Jill Grimes' book.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Great.
Speaker 3 (14:43):
Yes, so we're just going to link to episode episode
, episode after this.
Yeah, that's a good one.
So counseling centers andhealth centers.
Thinking a little more aboutacademics, many colleges have
something called a successcenter or an academic center,
academic support center,something of that nature.
(15:06):
You know, at our school it'scalled the Office of Advising
and Academic Success, so they'vecombined those things there and
academic success.
So they've combined thosethings there.
But the staff members there areusually the ones who can work
particularly with students whoare struggling.
Maybe a student and thiswouldn't be a first semester
(15:28):
student, but a student who's onprobation, who is maybe a second
semester student, who had a notsuccessful first semester, is
on academic warning or academicprobation, and then they might
have a success counselor whowould meet with them even weekly
to help them work on the timemanagement skills or academic
(15:50):
skills that they need.
So it's worth investigatingwhat.
It's a little different.
We'll talk about a tutoringcenter, but it's a little
different.
They're coordinators orcounselors who work particularly
with helping students withtheir academic struggles in
(16:10):
navigating the soft skills thatthey need.
Not tutoring them about asubject, but just helping them
figure out what do they need todo, what are the strategies to
succeed?
Speaker 2 (16:21):
And in some colleges professors may send out like an
alert or something and the folksin the success office will get
that, so they'll have a studenton their radar if they're
struggling.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Yes, so hopefully the student will reach out if they
know they need help.
But they might hear fromsomeone in the success center
and then they should answer thecall.
They should go and see them,because they can do a lot to
help them.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
You know, I think I want to jump down somewhere in
our list.
You're so rogue.
I'm going to ruin the rhythmhere, but I want to talk about
the support center because thatconnects a little bit to it.
I mean talk about writingsupport, math support, speaking
(17:13):
support, tutoring for specificclasses.
Sometimes that might be in thesame area as the advising
success.
And so, just to remind yourstudent to check out what their
college offers, most collegeshave a writing center because
(17:34):
most students struggle withwriting, that's just you know.
College writing is a wholedifferent level than high school
writing, so many colleges offersupport there.
There are some colleges thatoffer specific tutoring to
students, and some of that mightbe online tutoring.
Some of it might be with aprofessional.
(17:55):
Some of it might be onlinetutoring, um.
Some of it might be with a witha professional.
Some of it might be peertutoring, um, some colleges have
particular math and sciencesupport.
Um, so, um, there's always someacademic support for your
student, but it's on theirshoulders to look for it.
Um, had parents call me and saycan you get my son to the
(18:21):
writing center?
And my advice would be you maywant to bring that up with your
son.
I may bring it up, but I am notgoing to make anybody do
anything at the college level.
Students need to choose to dothat.
I may talk about what awonderful center we have, but
it's up to them.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:42):
And you know interestingly, a lot of times
with a writing center and thewriting center isn't just
because I can't figure out howto write, but, you know, can you
help help me edit?
Can you help me polish?
Yep, um, to take a, you know ab paper and make it an a paper,
um, but I've noticed with bothwriting center and tutoring,
(19:05):
often it's some of the beststudents who make the most use
of it.
Yes, so.
So I think a message that thatparents can give to their
students is going to thetutoring center or the writing
center, which is a kind oftutoring center, is not seen at
(19:25):
all.
It's different, I think, inhigh school, in college it is
not seen as oh you know, you'rea dumb student, you have to go
to tutoring because you can't doit.
It's the students who want toturn that B into an A, the
students who would be crushed ifthey got an A so you know, it's
(19:47):
viewed very differently.
Its support there, you know,can you just help me?
And the writing centers aregreat, they can help students
brainstorm.
They can help studentsbrainstorm, they can help
students polish their grammar,they can help students figure
out how to organize the essay orthe paper or whatever, and
they're professionals who areready to do that.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
And some colleges offer even a speaking center.
Speaker 3 (20:09):
Yes, a communicate?
Yes, and we used to have one.
We used to have one, a centerwhere students can go, and it's
the same sort of thing, but fororal presentations and practice
organizing and then practicegiving it and getting some
feedback and videotapinganalyzing.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
So lots of academic support.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
Support centers is good.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
So, all right, you're jumping around.
I'm going to go back on thislittle list that we have and
think non-academic for a littlebit.
Another one that it can be areally good support for a
student could be a club advisoror someone in charge of an
affinity group, and by affinitygroup, you know, it's sometimes,
(20:55):
you know, like the BlackStudents Union or you know, the
International Students Club orsome group of some kind, and
those advisors who work withthose clubs, whether it's the
ski club or the radio club oryou know whatever and those
affinity groups are reallycommitted to those students who
are part of it.
(21:15):
So that can be a really goodperson that a student should
feel comfortable talking to andgoing to.
Just another piece of supportthere.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
We had somebody in our department who decided to do
a video club.
Like video games kind of thing.
And for some of the students Iworked with, that was their
place of safety.
Speaker 3 (21:42):
That was their home, so that was important, and some
of these groups and clubs have aliteral home as well.
They may have a space that'sset aside for them, and in
bigger universities it couldeven be a house.
So so those are.
Those are people who supporttoo.
I'm going to keep going.
(22:03):
I want to do one more becauseit's similar and that's an, an
athletic coach.
So those students who are onteams go to those coaches all
the time and and if your studentdid athletics in high school,
you have some sense of howcommitted a coach is to his, his
or her team members.
Uh, and I would say it's evenmore so on the college level.
(22:25):
You know they, they were thethe students bond with each
other, but they also really bondwith the coach and the coach is
really looking out for thestudents, their basic well-being
, but also because the coachwants them to do well
academically or they won't beallowed to play Right.
So that's a good person.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Really good, um, in the living situation, um, let's
talk a little bit about that.
Students have usually acommunity director, somebody
who's in charge of the, the dorm, and then usually a resident
assistant, sometimes for eachfloor.
(23:05):
Those people are crucial, inparticular the resident
assistants, at least in ourschool.
They're really well trained.
Speaker 3 (23:16):
Oh, I think most places they are.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
And they know the kind of issues that are going to
come up.
They are a student, it's a peer, it's somebody your student can
go to with the questions thatthey think are dumb questions.
They can usually have thatperson as a mentor.
Speaker 3 (23:37):
And that is also another person on the front
lines that sees the studentevery day in their living
situation and will be, you know,could, will be a you know, an
early person who could spot astudent who is struggling or
having trouble or something likethat.
And the community director.
So the, the ras are studentswell-trained students and the
(23:58):
community directors are staffpeople, so they're trained on a
different level in terms oftaking care of students.
So, yeah, that's a realimportant one.
And then most campuses have achaplain or some kind of campus
ministry.
(24:18):
A chaplain or some kind ofcampus ministry and if a student
is involved in, well, even ifthey're not involved, anyone who
is in the spiritual life office, whatever their title might be,
is someone students can alwaysfeel that they can talk to and
(24:39):
get all kinds of support.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
That's a wonderful resource.
Here's a surprise kind ofresource and that's public
safety officers.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Sometimes public safety officers are the ones who
are around campus.
They're the ones you know.
Students see them all the time.
Sometimes they really reach outto students.
I know I have had students whoare majoring in criminal justice
who do ride-arounds with thepublic safety officers, but it's
(25:11):
usually a different kind offeeling than a police officer in
a town or city.
These are folks who are trainedto work again.
Speaker 3 (25:19):
Work with college students yeah so it's um they
can actually be a support yeah,some students get very have very
close relationships withcertain public safety officers
because they see them all thetime they're around um and and
most of them, the officers,reach out and want to talk to
(25:42):
students.
The more they get to knowpeople in the community, the
more they are able to keepeverybody safe.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
It's a small community policing.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
It's really interesting to see the bond
sometimes with the public safetyofficers.
Speaker 3 (25:57):
And another one that I think is surprising, and it's
a staff thing, and that is oftenthe administrative assistants
or secretaries that are in thevarious offices, because they're
again, they're on the frontline.
If a student wants to, you know, make an appointment with the
dean or something or has somebusiness with the dean's office
(26:17):
or the registrar's office orwhatever, it's the person at
that front desk often that theytalk to and and all, and
sometimes they make very, youknow, they chat or whatever, and
then they make very closerelationships, especially a lot
of these staff people that we'retalking about.
If your student has a job oncampus, they'll really encounter
(26:39):
some of these people.
They may work side by side withthe administrative assistant,
or they may be the one whoanswers non-emergency phone
calls in the public safetyoffice.
So you know, thinking about howthey connect through their jobs
as well.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
And often the administrative assistant in a
particular major knowseverything.
Yes, like knows more than allthe professors you know because
they're sort of at the commanddesk you know, and so a good
person for a student to get toknow.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
I'm going to.
We've sort of said we're goingto go back and forth but we're
all way off from our plan.
Anyway.
I want to do the next onebecause I love this one.
It's all of those campusworkers.
I mean, we talked about publicsafety and we talked about
secretaries because they're kindof frontline, but it's all
those other campus workers thatare all around campus, that
(27:32):
students.
You never know what student isgoing to connect with what
person.
So it's the people who work inthe library, the people who work
at the front desk at thelibrary and they encounter it
could be the custodian thatcleans the residence hall, and
this really goes back.
I remember as a first yearstudent living in the residence
(27:57):
hall on campus.
Speaker 2 (27:57):
This is you.
Speaker 3 (27:58):
This is me, so this is a year or two ago and two of
the people we you know, a lot ofus had great relationships with
were the public safety officerwho walked the hall at night.
I don't know if they do itanymore, but we had somebody who
(28:19):
just came through like one inthe morning just to make sure
everything was okay, and thenthe custodian that cleaned the
hall and cleaned our bathroomsand did that, and we would see
that person just about everysingle day and it was a great
(28:40):
relationship and it was fun, andso it can be those public
safety officers.
It could be the custodian.
The librarian Buildings andgrounds are people who are
around campus all the time andsome students connect with the
van or bus driver.
Often, if there's a regular vanor a bus that goes around
(29:01):
campus or a shuttle that runssomewhere, um are other people,
and then the other one are thefood service the dining hall
folks, the dining hall folks areamazing and really get to know.
You know, sometimes get to knowwhat kinds of food your student
likes, or some.
Sometimes we'll save a littlesomething for somebody.
We have one in our dining hallwho's been there for years and
(29:25):
everyone on campus knows her andI swear she knows every
student's name.
And they walk in the dininghall and it's a hi, lynn, how
are you, how's it going?
And I joke.
And I told her I go to tocommencement every year and year
after year after year, in astudent commencement speech
(29:45):
where they're summing up theirexperiences at the college, her
name gets brought up every year,after every year.
So it's amazing thoseconnections that they can make.
Just a couple more.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Let's see, it's your turn.
Speaker 3 (30:01):
What's more?
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Where are we?
Speaker 3 (30:02):
The student advocate.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (30:05):
Oh, did I add that.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
I don't have that one .
Speaker 3 (30:08):
Okay, we're very organized here today folks.
Okay, I have two more that Iadded after I sent the list to
Lynn.
Okay, and I apologize.
One is a student advocate andnot all schools have it, but and
I apologize, one is a studentadvocate and not all schools
have it, but some schools dohave one with different titles,
often in a dean's office orsomething, but it's someone who
(30:30):
is just that.
It's a person who willrepresent your student, or it's
the kind of person your studentgoes to when they don't know who
to go to.
They don't want to go to theiradvisor, or it's not an academic
thing, so they don't know whoto go to.
They don't want to go to theiradvisor, or it's not an academic
thing, so they don't think theyshould go to their advisor.
Maybe they're having adifficulty with a particular
professor and they don't knowhow to deal with that.
(30:54):
You know, maybe somethinghappened, I don't know, it's
worth checking.
Some schools have someone, astudent ombudsman or a student
advocate or something like that.
So we used to have one.
I don't think we do anymore.
And then the last thing I addedwe've talked about it, we've
touched on it, and that is justpeers.
You know, students, friendsfirst of all, can be a great
(31:15):
support system.
You talked about an RA andthat's a peer thing.
Peer tutors are great.
Sometimes parents particularly,I think, when their student is
being tutored say I want, youknow, I want a professional
tutor.
I don't want a student tutoring.
But sometimes students are bestbecause they've been in the
(31:36):
class and they know the subject,they know what the student's
really going to have to learn.
Professional tutors sometimes,because if I'm a professional
math tutor, it's because mathhas always been easy for me and
it might be hard for me tounderstand the student's
struggles.
And then some schools useteaching assistants.
(31:56):
Those are students and theother one is a team captain.
If your student is an athlete,the captain is usually someone
on the team who is respected,has some leadership, has some
experience and is a good personto go to.
So it's a pretty comprehensivelist of people who are there.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
So it's good to know, when you send your kids off,
that there's probably moresupport than you realize.
There's probably more supportthan your student realizes.
I do want to have just say onereminder to parents, and that's
that you still are a veryimportant support to your
(32:37):
students off campus.
You are important support toyour students off campus.
You are, you know, incrediblyimportant, but it is in a
different way than you were inhigh school, so you know your
job would be to remind yourstudents that all these things
are out there for them.
Your job would be to, you know,to listen to what's going on,
(33:01):
not necessarily fixing, but justlistening.
Listening.
You know your kids best also,and so you may know where to
help, guide them or support themto.
You know where to go to getsome help.
So, even though your role isnot to solve any problems, your
(33:21):
role is still crucial and it'sto be there to encourage your
students to believe in them andknow that they can do it.
Speaker 3 (33:29):
And help them believe in themselves Right and know
that they can do it Right.
That's such a that's such agood and important message for
us as parents to hear.
I wanted to add one note and Ishould have done it before you
did that, because yours is sucha good way to end, but one note
that you might remind yourstudent and hopefully they never
(33:53):
need to know.
But, that is, depending on what,why they're going to someone,
why they need to talk to someoneif it is something that
involves criminal action, if itis something they want to talk
(34:16):
to somebody because they've beenassaulted, they've been
sexually assaulted, they've beenraped, they've been sexually
harassed, threatened, somethingof that nature.
What they need to remember isthat most of the people not all
most of the people we talkedabout are what we call mandatory
(34:38):
reporters, and that means, ifI'm an academic advisor, if a
student comes to me and sayssomething happened to me over
the weekend and I want to talkto somebody about it and I want
to tell you, but please don'ttell anybody Before that student
(34:58):
says anything, I need to say tothat student.
You need to understand I'm amandatory reporter.
If you're going to tell meabout something, let's say
sexual assault, I'm going tohave to report that to the Title
IX office.
I'm required by law to do thatand so, if it's something like
that, go talk to the counselingcenter covered by HIPAA.
(35:23):
They do not.
The health center covered byHIPAA, they do not.
And, depending on the state,the chaplain or campus ministry
may or may not have to report,but all the rest of us are
legally required to report.
All the rest of us are legallyrequired to report Now it's rare
.
Thank goodness it's rare thatthese things happen on campus,
(35:50):
but it's important that studentsknow you know I want to be
there for them.
But they have to know that ifthey tell me and I can help them
through the process, then Ifyou tell me that I can help you
now, we'll figure out who weneed to report to and I can, you
know, be there to support you.
But I think that's important.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
So there's all of our supports.
Yes.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
And then just the reminder of what Lynn said
before I jumped in with thisdowner about mandatory reporting
, and that is parents.
You're still so important inhelping your students um figure
out how they handle things andwho can help them handle it.
Um, with all this support there, and, uh, parents know that,
you know, know that your, yourkid, isn't there on their own.
(36:33):
Yeah, college isn't anindividual sport it's a team,
group activity.
So thanks for listening andbeing with us.
We hope this was helpful.
We're going to put a lot oflinks in the show notes of other
episodes about a number of thethings that we talked about, and
if you know someone else whohas a student going to college,
(36:56):
headed to college soon or incollege, share this with them
and maybe it will be helpful tothem too.
Word of mouth is the greatestadvertising we can get, so
thanks a lot and we'll see younext time.
Speaker 2 (37:11):
See you later.
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