December 20, 2022 • 32 mins
Comedian Caleb Synan came into the Comedy Roundtable studio to talk about episode topics Fancy That, War and Peace and Religions-ish.
Caleb Synan is one of the hottest young comics in the country. He grew up as a preacher’s kid in a small southern town, which give him the ability to relate to any and every crowd -- even though he’s a big old millennial who lives in LA. You've seen him on CONAN (twice!), Last Comic Standing, and on his first Comedy Central special “30” released in 2022 (available on YouTube).
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:00):
Ladies and gentleman, comedy roundtable these are
great questions. Yes, goodcomedian a math question. Really
good question. Thank you. Thisis so much fun you guys. That is
a good question. And thatlightning round was so fun.
That's a really good question.
comedy fans con versationenthusiast it is a brand new
(00:23):
episode of the comedy roundtablepull up a chair settle in. We
have a great conversation foryou this episode. Let's get this
party started. Jamie BendelJamie, Hernan, Adam. Hey
look at you getting in on thegame. I appreciate that. Usually
you're so negative about himgiving me the big intro.
(00:44):
I just figured people deserve tohear it in stereo.
I didn't even know that ourpodcast was available in stereo.
Yeah, it is actually. Andactually, if you put the SAP
button, it's available inSpanish. We have
saved a cheer for you ourlistener and we've also saved a
chair here at the round tablefor our guest this evening.
Caleb sign in here on the comedyround table. It's the holiday
season right?
(01:05):
Angle curl. I feel bad.
There was a Kringle crawl. Wehave three Santos who
participated in said crawl.
Yeah, it was a good time.
It was a good time. It's likefun. It was a good time. It was
one of those mornings where theday after I woke up in bed
saying Did I sing last night andmy wife seems really mad at me.
I was angry Santa. So it mayhave looked like I wasn't having
a good time. But I did enjoymyself.
(01:26):
You were having an amazing time.
And you're supposed to be Yeah,I mean, I was
yeah, he looked like cranky bluesheets and that's that was what
he was going I washanding out toilet paper and
fireworks and car air freshenersto the children.
I had this idea get people inSanta suits. Now obviously not
the first person there are somecities that are notorious for
their Santa cons or the runningof the Santas or whatever it is.
(01:49):
I had a much simpler objectivecould I get 610 Guys in Santa
suits and do and across thestreet kind of little bar hop
and it was so embraced buthere's the thing that I think I
found right Jamie didn't knowwhat to expect right? Your
assessment of participationprobably exceeded what you
thought was what it was goingto be. Well I was expecting a
(02:09):
certain number of Santas Iwasn't expecting the periphery
players the buddy elf reindeerthe Mrs. Claus
so many elves yes showed upwhich I thought was weird. There
was a lot of elves there was alot of misses clauses clause
there were a few children whichare such like younger children
all can'tbe Christmas without children
it'll just be some it shouldn'tbe. I'm trying to think of how
(02:36):
many different kinds ofChristmas related alliterative
names that we can come up withbecause it was crinkle crawl
next year should it beslop, slanted slide. Right that
a slide?
There's Santa crawl seems alittle too clauses too on the
nose, too on the nose, right weshould call up Graper Yes, and
(02:58):
see what if we can borrow one ofthose Icelandic multi Santas
which bythe way, I will disclose now my
costume next year for crinkleHall is going to be one of those
Icelandicis it going to be spoon liqueur?
Shakerso in Iceland they have all
these 18 Santas.
Really? Yeah, and they're allhighly specific to the what they
do. Yeah,what's Lengai like comes in and
sneaks in your window yeahwindow picqer window
(03:23):
Yeah, one God. Right. PollySanta Santa is
one God one Santa one way to getpolyamorous going to hell? Yeah.
Probably are.
What a weird little play Ialways forget they're real nice.
Really have proof that they'rereal. Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprisedif they like if it came out like
(03:45):
Pluto's need more. If they'relike, isolated, we made it up.
We talked to a comedian fromthere. And we're like so beyond
Reykjavik. Can you name like thenext he's like, Well, the next
largest town has 25,000 peoplein it. Oh, really? Like that's
the second largest town inIceland. Oh, no.
No, we're in all fairness. Itwas a fun episode. It was nice.
And I learned so much about thealternate Santas. Yes. And
(04:08):
here's an interesting thing,which I would be interested in
your perspective on. He onefunniest person in Iceland.
Right. Iceland's greatest standup. Yeah. And then COVID hit?
Oh, no. And they've not held itsince. Don't you continue to be
the reigning champion, I wouldsay until there's another
competition held.
I think you get to. Yeah, Ithink that's right.
I think it renews like,it's like an automatic renewal,
like why wouldn't it be backyet? I'm wondering, it's like,
(04:31):
very cautious.
He is spreading COVID Everywherehe can to keep the contest from
coming back.
By the way, I don't know thatyou need to be so concerned
about COVID If you're inIceland, because it's like
there's six of us this entiretown like we can separate five
feet. And the only way peoplecome from outside is by boat and
(04:52):
airplane like and they rarelycome.
Alright, so it's good to haveyou back with us comedy round.
We're about to turn the page onthe New Year. Hmm 2022
retrospective been a good yearfor you.
Great Year. Yeah, busy and fun.
I love it. This is I mean, well,you also have compared to the
previous years, it's just morefun like 2020 who suck when he
21 was a little better. And it'slike, as long as it keeps doing
(05:13):
that, I'm very happy you know.
All right. So you are familiarwith the format of the show we
we do hypotheticals so thisepisodes topics are today of
which you will answer only two.
They are war and peace. Fancythat and religions ish. Let's do
religions ish, starting withreligions ish. With Adam. Okay,
(05:40):
so there's a lot of things thatactually are associated with
religions that are not, youknow, you don't think of as
religious like, first off youhave bunnies that Easter, right?
You have trees at Christmas. Butsome of the better ones are you
have Mardi Gras is and carnivalare actually based on religious
periods during the year. So Ithink for me, those are my
(06:01):
favorite religious events likethose kinds of it's so my
question though, is when do youfeel most religious? Like what's
something you do? That makes youfeel like maybe? And I don't
mean like, clearly like a formalreligion, but maybe like in
connection with the greaterhigher power or the universe in
general. But when do you feelmost connected? Ooh,
I mean, well, you haveturbulence on a plane. That's a
(06:25):
big one. Yeah. Oh, connected.
And I don't know who I'm like,is this the devil shaking this
plane? Right? It did God stopit. Something's up. Right. That
definitely gets you going.
How close does the snake have tobe to you on the plane, like in
five proximity for it to havethe same effect as turbulence?
I think I'd rather get bit bythe snake than have the
turbulence or not a turbulencefan. No, but I mean, it's like,
(06:46):
as long as it's less than aminute.
Yeah, the big shakers where youat least get a couple cocktails
off some trays. Yeah, there wego. And you get the screen.
There's always like some womanthat screams on the really big
shakers in the airplane.
Now who does not wear theirseatbelt while sitting?
I always love when people don'tlisten. And if they'll be like,
we turn the seatbelt. So no,it's gonna be bumpy. And then
(07:08):
people just don'tlike, right, they follow?
They're walking back for thebet. Whoa, yeah,
he had an arrow shot. It'd belike Whack a Mole. Yeah, he was
just comingup. Jamie, when you said do you
think everyone experiencesturbulence? The same thing. I
was wondering if like the lawsof physics tell us that, like a
roller coaster. Like the guy inthe back of the plane gets the
most turbulent shit. Right? Youknow how like on roller
(07:29):
coasters, that last car gets thebiggest whip. And like if you're
if you're in a minivan, like ina minivan, the last seat gets
the biggest bump.
I actually would like to know ifthey showed you during
turbulence, how much your planewas actually moving, because it
would change my perspective.
That's why a window seat is goodfor that. Because you can be
like, we're not moving at allright? Like, yeah, we're 10,000
feet. And we're just going like,inches, right? So it's like
(07:52):
nothing,nothing's happening, I think
long way to go tobe comforting for that. Because
you're really just going up anddown four inches.
It's amazing what kind of impactyou can have with four inches.
Oh, hey, that's what I feelreally?
All right. Question number two,question number two, Jamie. Just
on your new Colt lu a new cult.
I mean, I think it would be funto sort of combine all the
(08:16):
existing calls, because everycall has like one or two where
you're like, oh, that's how theygot. Yeah, that's the good
stuff. And then at the end,you're like, oh, so just combine
all of them into like, a nice,like a, like a blended whiskey,
you know? Yeah. Just take thegood stuff. Yeah, just take the
good stuff. Because I mean, Iwas reading the Book of Mormon.
(08:37):
And I was like, man, like,every, like five pages. I'm
like, No, that's not a badpoint. That's not That's not a
bad idea. But then he makeslike, 35 of the worst points you
ever heard?
Yeah. So I just want to pick andchoose, but just make sense. I'd
be like, Hey, I like the idea ofbeing on a farm in the middle.
That kind of going off grid fora little while meditating may be
(08:58):
the, you know, selling mychildren into being spouses of
other members really quickly.
Not so big a fan of that, right.
I can do the farm thing.
And I would want to be veryclear, because I think a lot of
people with cults like do I haveto have sex with the leader?
Yes. And that would be I wouldgo on the news and be like, you
do not write have to have sexwith me.
Right? This is one of the goodguy. One of our tenants of this
(09:19):
church is we get the cool stuff.
We don't get the bad stuff.
Yeah, just make sense. Yeah.
Everybody join, I thinkDo you think Cole would send
cease and desist letters to youbasically saying
no rhymes? Yeah.
And where they're doing op edpieces against you. They're like
that cold. Although it seemsreally awesome. Right now.
There's definitely a suicideback. And
(09:41):
yeah, I would just say it's acall. No one ever says it,
right. No one ever says oh, I'ma cold but I'll go I'm a call.
So if you send me a cease anddesist letter, you're admitting
you're one maybe like hey, look,we were the first call to marry
children at at eight years old.
Like how does he think he hasthe right to do that? We
don't do that. is awesome. Ourcold is awesome. That's not
(10:01):
the part that would let eightyear olds get married but only
to other eight year olds. Theyhave a little tiny house,
which technically happens inelementary schools all around
America. Yeah.
The tiny housevaried four times while I was in
elementary school. gratulationsthat could have been just a
second grade.
(10:21):
Oh, man, you imagine beingdivorced. You're like nine
you're like women.
Who gets a man?
So first of all, I don't knowthat it was technically divorce.
It was just summer break. Yeah,right. That was ever whoever
you're married to. It's allover. I
have a suggestion for marriagethat I think would be cool. Is
(10:42):
to make it like presidentialterms. That you're married for
four years and it ends unlessyou re up. Is it mutual? Re up?
Yeah, I think it has to bemutual. Gotta be mutual. And I
think you got to latterly re upat least one of your friends.
Yeah, say, you know,you're a good couple. Yeah.
The reason that your eight yearold marriage doesn't survive the
summer is because you have toraise hell summer. Get married.
(11:04):
Like, you can't raise hell whilemarried. That's
right. It's funny on your termidea for marriage. Like my wife
calls that an anniversary. Shekeeps looking at me like, Oh,
how'd you do last year? She'slike, I don't know if I'm
renewing this contract or not.
I'm like, come on, please.
I think couples will be on goodbehavior. Yeah, I think it'll
help.
Do you literally have like anannual evaluation?
Oh, she does. Every anniversary?
Yeah. What did we say we'regoing to work on last year.
(11:28):
How'd that go? That's whyeverybody's podcast with a bunch
of dudes. All right.
Religions. Ish. Yes. Do youthink could you have cross
religious trades? Basically saywill late in the game claim your
(11:49):
person? Oh, as hours?
Wow.
We talked about this, likepeople who follow the religion,
Ahmed's in the Bible. Are youtalking about like figures in
religion being traded aboutme showing it to church? And
they're like, Jamie, we'resorry. You got traded to the
Baptists. We got to really,really,
okay, you could do it eitherway. So I think individuals
oftentimes are very free agentwith their faith. Right, right.
(12:13):
Yeah. Are you talking aboutactual figures in the religion?
making a move? Right? That'sthat would be a huge trade.
Yeah, that'd be impactful.
Right? He's a franchise player.
He's probably franchise tag.
I'm honestly kind of surprised.
That doesn't happen. Like whensomebody's numbers are going
down to like, Man, oh, theHindus. What if we got Jesus in
here? You know, yeah, like thathelped at the box office.
(12:34):
Like this. Mary Magdalene. She'sgot some heat right now. Why
don't we trade her to theEpiscopal and see what they can
do?
So you mentioned Mormonism,right? In Mormonism, to my
understanding, I'm notdenigrating anybody who's a
Mormon is there was a person whoessentially said I'm going to it
was like an improv exercise. I'mgoing to Yes. And, and we're
(12:54):
going to add another section,right? Yeah. Right.
Not saying the Bible is wrong.
But here's the new Bible.
Right, right. Which is differentthan a cult, which basically
seems to say, I'm just gonnacreate stuff out of whole cloth.
Yeah, right. But the Mormon isthe only one I know that's a
direct Yeah, well, like, like areboot. You know,
(13:17):
it is a reboot cycle. This islike your Bible. That was good.
It's still a lot of copies. Butnow we have a Book of Mormon the
Bible too.
So why isn't there like, three?
Right, it's time, right? It'sprobably is time that's what
I should do. Your cold. Three.
This is really not a bad idea.
Honestly. Yeah. First,first Bible then Book of Mormon.
(13:38):
No. Book. Okay. lib.
Okay. So, is it possible thatI just stop you there? Caleb
really liked the idea of thebook. Okay.
This is kind of like, whoa.
Like, you know how Joseph Smithdied? He had to be like, 23 and
(13:58):
they threw him out a window.
Yeah,the whole town's turn on you
quick.
It's just I can't imaginejoining up in a religion that
started by a guy in his 20s Youknow, like Yeah, like shut up.
Like Jesus was like I'm 33 I'vebeen around I just like some 20
year olds like you know, Godtold me the new Bible I'd be
like, Come on, why didn't youtell an adult This is
so awkward when we go to breakand this it's the to joy Church
(14:19):
of Latter Day Saints This is socool this
choose joy. All right, we willwrap this discussion much as it
is the season of wrapping hereon the comedy roundtable. Jamie,
Jamie and Adam our guests Calebsigning we will be back with
more of the comedy roundtableright after this
we're Millennials very insecurewith the most insecure
(14:40):
generation we want everybodylike us nobody does. We figured
maybe Gen Z maybe they don'tmaybe they got something that
other generations don't notice.
It all I can see they're all mymillennial friends be like I was
at work. I think all the Gen Zkids don't like me like I walked
in the breaker they all stoppedtalking. I was like Oh no, my
cringe. I think I might becringe Am I correct? You think?
(15:02):
Yes, you're cringe. We're allfriends. Just live cringe. It's
fine. I never even looked it upand just using context clues we
all are it's fine who get why doyou need to hang out with kids?
These are children remember ineighth grade I didn't give a
shit what sixth graders thought.
Keep doing that.
(15:24):
Till me well hit them with yourhands worked in every grade.
That's cool. So my friends arehaving kids. Some Millennials
are having kids. What? Why?
What? Butdon't do it. If you're a
millennial, and you already hada kid, give it back. Give it
back. One of my friends as akid, he's still a goth. Remember
(15:47):
Goths? He's still being a gothMiddle School. 30 years old.
He's a golfer with lower backpain and a kid. It's not gonna
work. How's it gonna work? How'sit gonna work off dad? How's it
gonna work kid comes home fromschool. He's like, I
hate my life.
I hate you go into my room.
You're like me too. Then youboth run up the stairs. Who
(16:09):
stays downstairs. So when askedto stay downstairs, like that.
put my foot down.
Can't put your foot down a pairof vans.
(16:32):
Right comedy round tablereturns. If you have enjoyed
this 2022 Season of comedy roundtable, make sure you're liking
subscribing. Most importantly,evangelizing based on our last
segment. For the comedy roundtable, we will have additional
exciting episodes in 2023. Andbeyond God willing, man really
(16:56):
bring him to God.
All right, so what do you gotcoming up in 2023?
You know, I'm working on a newspecial trying to do another
one. And hopefully they'll learna new album, all that kind of
stuff, working on a script bunchof a bunch of stuff. We'll see
what happens but uh, trying todo a bunch of things. Nice.
So your remaining subjects arewar and peace and fancy that I
(17:20):
like fancy that fancy thatstarting with Adam.
So this is again, an example ofour pre show kind of get you
behind the scenes a little bitwhen they say fancy that I
actually heard fans see that. SoI was thinking what do fans see
that others don't as a fan, oneof the hardest things for me to
ever see was Wade Boggs as ofRoss and Red Sox fan. It was
(17:41):
very difficult for me to seeWade Boggs riding a horse around
Yankee Stadium after they hadwon the world championship. Is
there anything that you've beena fan of? That kind of broke
your heart? You just say fanssee that it hurts.
Well, other than Kanye, it'sreally a big drop off. Right?
Right. Like he's beenridiculous.
(18:03):
Because I've always loved hismusic. Yeah. And then, you know,
and you're kind of like, maybehe's an artistic genius. That's
just a little bit off. But it'sokay. We still enjoy him a lot.
And now it's like, oh, no, he'sjust really off.
What's really crazy is you thinkabout there's millions of people
who are like, they're like, Man,I love what this guy says. And
then they listen to music andthey go, Oh, this sucks. They're
(18:24):
the opposite. Everybody's alittle disappointed. Yeah, Fancy
that. There's not one personthat loves the music and the
thoughts.
Right, right.
You're either Kanye.
Not not even as wide Yeah.
There's no I'm sure Kanye.
It's possible. He doesn't. Yeah,it's possible that he doesn't
(18:44):
a lot of people like Eminem. Youknow? Like, yeah, when he used
to be like a wild guy. And thennow He's like, he's like, a dad
corporate. Yeah. And he's like,he's got a restaurant. Yeah. Has
a restaurant. Yeah, it's calledMom's spaghetti.
The guys call with a real Jamie.
Hernan, please stand down.
(19:05):
Please stand up with a realJamie Hernan, please stand up.
Yeah, that's just it hurts. Youknow, because at some point,
he's gonna sell us a reversemortgage. Yeah, he's gonna be
right. No, yeah. Do you thinkabout all those people in the
27? Club? You know, like it likehow weird it would be to see
Kurt Cobain, you know, you know,commercial for Cialis? Yeah,
(19:30):
he's like, You ever get yourdangers out? You know, it's just
some people you don't want tosay just like I'd rather you be
the legend. Yes, absolutely.
Can you imagine watching themasked singer and the head comes
off? Oh, no.
Would you die a little insideobeying your child? Yours would
(19:50):
die.
So you're just finding out thathe didn't actually die? Yeah.
And he decided to do the bigreveal on the mask.
That would be pretty cool,actually. So it turns out Elvis
is still alive of Kurt Cobainstill alive sounds just like an
older Elvis. Could you imaginehow much better the ratings
would be for that show? They'relike, No, this last year, it was
Kurt Cobain. Like this year.
(20:10):
It could be. It's like abaseball card. It's like there's
probably one autograph card inthis whole box. Right? So each
season, they're like, one personyou think is dead. Not dead. If
it's everpossible to bring people back
from the dead. That's the firstthing that will do it. It'll be
a big corporation that like theMac singer. We're doing it for
the masked singer. Right, right.
They're not gonna bring backLincoln. It's gonna be Kurt
Cobain. That's right. What ifthey brought back Lincoln to
(20:32):
sing? Oh, no, that's what theywould do. They wouldn't let him
be president. Yeah, no, he wouldjust do Hello, honey
with that being in the firstround. So this guy comes up and
he's like a horrible singer.
Like the producers like no, youhave to give him good marks. We
have to get him through. Soyou're seeing we spent a billion
dollars to make this.
This is actually why JFK Jr.
didn't come back. And he wassupposed to because he got a
(20:55):
better deal with the maskedsinger for next season. So
I honestly hope so. That'd bereally cool. Gosh, we're we are
actually creating some prettycool stuff.
This cult is going great. Sofar. We are
admittedly, I'm still stuck atthe host stand at the Slim Shady
(21:15):
restaurant.
What do you got? Jamie? What dayto day activity would be
enhanced by you been able to doit in a tuxedo? Ooh,
I would say arguing with mygirlfriend. Nice. I feel like I
would get a little more respect.
Yeah, I feel like I'd be morelikely to win in a tuxedo.
(21:37):
He's clearly an authority onthis.
Yeah. Now she's just dressedhowever, or she's feeling like
sweatpants right? Yeah,you're wearing a tuxedo you're
like I'm wearing a tuxedo and Isay it's this way.
I probably still lose I'm goingon for a shorter point for
centuries of wedding daydisputes. That show you that
(21:58):
wearing a tuxedo does not changethe outcome. Oh no. But
see the bride is dressed up moreif she was wearing sweatpants to
the wedding the groom wouldwould win the art would
intimidatewith his with his outerwear
mutual fans. Were equals loss.
Correct. You have to have asymmetrical fans
if mutual fancy is the same assweatpants versus sweatpants.
Right, right. So you're on thesame level pants versus tuxedo
(22:21):
tuxedo wins. Okay, well, tuxedowedding dress ones.
Okay. I think that's that'd benumber one. For sure. All right,
sofancy that you have to deliver
the worst possible news toanother person. Yeah. Which
accent Are you picking to fancyit up?
(22:41):
Okay, the worst possible news. Imean, after I just saw that a
new knives out that insaneaccent James Bond has? Yeah,
just to be like, I have somenews about her mother. Like, I
would be fine with that. Like, Iactually wouldn't want a British
accent for like bad news. Yeah.
Cuz then I would feel like theywere enjoying it. You know?
(23:02):
Like, like, your mother hasdied. I'd be like, No, I love
you to do it.
That's a really good call.
That's probably that actually isthe correct answer. By the way.
We've We've done some researchand
Australia to be like, did youhave fun or like your mom's dead
to death? Yeah, the Benoit blancaccent? I would say it is
elevated southern sort ofFoghorn Leghorn. Yeah. Well,
(23:24):
they don't say they're ours.
Really? Yeah. There's been amurder. Yeah, I love that. It's
very soothing.
Alright, I watched the mostdisturbing documentary on Amazon
recently.
Not the most disturbingdocumentary pretty disturbing.
Okay, let's go with pretty it'sabout the Jets. No, it's about
two traveling young women whotake a three month gig
(23:49):
called taken. You would havethought I have a certain set of
skillswhere they take a gig at for
three months as bartenders at aremote truckstop bar. Oh, in
Australia. Oh, yeah. Gotta watchit is the tagline for the show.
You'd never believe what happensout back. Ooh.
(24:12):
Good, Be good. Be Awesome. Yeah.
I'm getting tons of informationcoming from the side of the
table. It's gonna do for thissegment of the cabinet
roundtable. Jamie, Jamie andAdam sometimes recorded live
outside the punch line comedyClub inside the dining room of
the landmark diner. Our guestthis episode, Caleb sign and
(24:34):
we'll be back with his finalthoughts about war and peace.
Alright, have you ever beenpulled over by a cop younger
than you that hurts like that atall. 22 year old guy walks over
with his first mustache. He'slike, hey, you know why I pulled
you over and like like, what doyou do you know anything. You
(24:56):
just learned the types of cloudsand you're over here telling me
cumulus noodle thisweird little things like that,
like I hate seeing a young kidsmoking. Some 21 year old
smoking a cigarette. I want toknock it out of his mouth. Just
like what do you what do you Oh,I gotta take the edge off.
(25:18):
No pain in my back. Oh, sevenmore years on my parent's
insuranceexcited one of my friends just
had a baby, little baby kid. Andit was taking a nap. And me and
her were in the kitchen. And shewas like, Ooh, he just found out
(25:39):
he has a penis. So he's goingthrough that phase where he's
touching it a lot.
And I was like phasewouldn't worry about it.
(26:06):
He'll grow out of that when he'sdead.
Got a few minutes left here inthis episode. So our remaining
subject is war and peace. Let'sstart with Adam.
So here we go. Again. I thoughtit was Warren peas like the
vegetable. And I was thinkingthat when I was a kid, we used
to have green peas on meals allthe time. And I just never see
(26:29):
green peas really going onanymore. So I'm going to ask you
when it comes to veggiebranding, who do you think is
overhyped? Like which vegetabledo you think is overhyped? And
which one is under hyped?
I'll tell you this. People got alot of beef with asparagus.
Yeah, like their pee smells sogood. The rest of the day? Yeah.
Yeah. I don't know why I thinkthat's really like kale is
crushing it. You know, Swisschard, there's all these
(26:51):
vegetables. They're like superfoods, and they're good, but
asparagus tastes great. Yep. Andthe people who I don't want my
pizza smell like, like, who'sgonna catch you? I just I love
asparagus. And I feel like it'sway down on the totem pole for
no reason, except forthe urine thing. And that's
bullshit, because one doesn'tnecessarily impact everybody,
youknow, packs no one it doesn't.
(27:12):
Well, it doesn't. Like somepeople don't even have the smell
genedinner party has gone way wrong.
Everyone is finding outyou flush it like what are we
talking about? Sean heartcare.
Yeah,that's not a true negative.
Right.
All right. So the United Statesentered a period of peace in the
early 1920s With PresidentWarren Harding. Warren's piece.
(27:32):
rumor had it that Harding had anickname for his manhood. He
referred to it as Jerry. So myquestion is, what do you think
Donald Trump nicknamed? Ischildhood imaginary friend
I made it seems impossible thatat some point, it wasn't Donald
Trump Jr. Right? Yeah,he still calls it Donald Trump
Jr. Which causes all kinds ofconfusion at Thanksgiving
dinner.
(27:53):
Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I that'sthat's my honest assessment. Had
you neverplayed with me? I play with
Donald Trump Jr. All the time.
Who also what I wonder aboutthese historians like Warren G.
Harding. When does that come up?
When they're like, oh, you know,he's president during the then
he's, what is he asking peoplethat worked at the White House?
(28:14):
Like, doyou know if you have any
nicknames for like, yeah, likekind of historian is this? Okay,
War and Peace. Give me somethingthat has a positive
collaborative relationship thatyou would like to see in
conflict.
Oh, okay. Positivecollaborative. I would, you
(28:34):
know, it'd be fun to see like,you know, that like, there was
that chicken sandwich war. Iwould like to see and I think it
would be fun. I'd like to seeTaco Bell just take on literally
every restaurant because I thinkthey could win. I think people
really are versus everybody. Ithink Taco Bell and I would
think it'd be a fun brand, wherethey're like, What do you got?
We'll do it. And I think though,when we're open on Sunday, we'll
(28:56):
do a chicken sandwich. We'll doa chicken taco
garden. We're doing a FettuccineAlfredo. Yeah. Taco Bell will
when?
When you first hear about TacoBell's Fettuccine Alfredo,
you're like that is I'm nevereating. Taco Bell you like
I gotta see what this historydoes talk.
(29:18):
I don't know why it's wrapped inDoritos, but yeah, I'm
gonna try I'm gonna try. I lovethem so much.
The only fast food restaurantwhere I off menu order is Taco
Bell.
Well wait talking about so theyeliminated the maximum
Maxi melt? Yeah, well, Ididn't even know it's a maxi
melt.
It's possibly a pizza. No, no,not the Mexican pizza. This was
(29:43):
Taco Bell had a beef maximalokay, I'm picturing a case of
deal with beef was like a minitaco roll up and it had cheese
and beef. And so you go and youorder that to talk about a limit
for you. They don't make themanymore. But they but they do
make A cheesy roll up so you doa cheesy roll up with beef, add
beef, add tomatoes.
(30:04):
Oh, I know. That's smart. That'sgood. I realized I'm that guy
ordering off theanimal style. Yeah, you're gonna
orderoff menu at Taco Bell, you need
to be wearing a tuxedo.
100% obviously, alright, so thatis your war. That's my war
Cobell versus everybody I thinkthey went.
(30:24):
Okay, Red Lobster. You gotlobsters.
Have you ever had Doritoscheddar biscuits?
You ever had? A Shrimp? Shrimp?
Best Taco Bell? Yeah. Cheddarbiscuit scampi. We got fries.
Like fire sauce in your scanner.
Window number one, you get topick out the live lobster.
(30:48):
Go to Window number two forpayment. Right window number
three, you pick up your last.
Okay, so he's hungry. Now. Giveme something that is in conflict
that you would like to see atpeace.
Oh, boy. I mean, there's so manyconflicts that are like, so many
serious answers. Yeah, we'regonna absolve you from all the
ones that like I can't believeyou didn't say that.
(31:12):
Power. It's not a wasted we'renot going to actually, who can
we get rid ofdon't underestimate our power.
I'll tell you this, it wouldactually make me feel good. I
think it would be one of myfavorite things as a comedian
ever was in the 80s. I wasn'teven alive in the 80s. But I my
favorite thing on YouTube stillis what limo used to go on
Letterman, like I think it wasevery six weeks. He was the
(31:34):
guest. And it was they were justgreat together. They were super
funny. I would love it. If theyjust the beef ended. I just want
to see him do that again.
Because I think it's so funnybecause Dave is always a little
mean to Jay Wright and kind ofmaking fun of his jokes and
going really, it seems unlikelyyour dad wouldn't be familiar
with that. Your dad is not 1000years old yet and he would just
like make fun of his premises.
(31:55):
So could you then see on anupcoming season of David
Letterman's My next guest needsno introduction to have Jay
Leno.
I wouldn't love that. I wouldreally I don't think it'll
happen but it's a wish I've hadfor a while
but you're actually going to seeis a duo on the masked singer.
(32:15):
If anyone's ever guessed soundslike Jay Leno.
Big chin on that mask? Huge.
Massive. The chins annoying justwalks out with his head and
everybody's like what's underthere? And he's like, No, it's
me.
That's me. Yeah.
Where'd you get this now?
Enormous beard just kind offalling out the bottom. Yeah.
(32:36):
Well, we appreciate you takingthe time to come in with any
plans to be back in Atlanta someof the time during the year.
Hopefully. I like to come asmuch as I can here. I mean, it's
just the best. All right,well, for Jamie, Jamie and Adam
and our guests Caleb signing youknow where to find them online
isfind me on Twitter at dumb Caleb
and find me on Instagram atCaleb signer.
All right. Not on Tik Tokas before, but I don't use it
(32:57):
much.
Yeah, yeah. It's a quality notquantity issue. Yeah.
All right for Jamie Damien. Andwe'll catch you next time. Put
your chair back where you foundit. This is comedy roundtable.
We will see you next episode.
Ladies and gentleman, comedy roundtable these are
great questions. Yes, goodcomedian a math question. Really
good question. Thank you. Thisis so much fun you guys. That is
a good question. And thatlightning round was so fun.
That's a really good question.
comedy fans con versationenthusiast it is a brand new
(00:23):
episode of the comedy roundtablepull up a chair settle in. We
have a great conversation foryou this episode. Let's get this
party started. Jamie BendelJamie, Hernan, Adam. Hey
look at you getting in on thegame. I appreciate that. Usually
you're so negative about himgiving me the big intro.
(00:44):
I just figured people deserve tohear it in stereo.
I didn't even know that ourpodcast was available in stereo.
Yeah, it is actually. Andactually, if you put the SAP
button, it's available inSpanish. We have
saved a cheer for you ourlistener and we've also saved a
chair here at the round tablefor our guest this evening.
Caleb sign in here on the comedyround table. It's the holiday
season right?
(01:05):
Angle curl. I feel bad.
There was a Kringle crawl. Wehave three Santos who
participated in said crawl.
Yeah, it was a good time.
It was a good time. It's likefun. It was a good time. It was
one of those mornings where theday after I woke up in bed
saying Did I sing last night andmy wife seems really mad at me.
I was angry Santa. So it mayhave looked like I wasn't having
a good time. But I did enjoymyself.
(01:26):
You were having an amazing time.
And you're supposed to be Yeah,I mean, I was
yeah, he looked like cranky bluesheets and that's that was what
he was going I washanding out toilet paper and
fireworks and car air freshenersto the children.
I had this idea get people inSanta suits. Now obviously not
the first person there are somecities that are notorious for
their Santa cons or the runningof the Santas or whatever it is.
(01:49):
I had a much simpler objectivecould I get 610 Guys in Santa
suits and do and across thestreet kind of little bar hop
and it was so embraced buthere's the thing that I think I
found right Jamie didn't knowwhat to expect right? Your
assessment of participationprobably exceeded what you
thought was what it was goingto be. Well I was expecting a
(02:09):
certain number of Santas Iwasn't expecting the periphery
players the buddy elf reindeerthe Mrs. Claus
so many elves yes showed upwhich I thought was weird. There
was a lot of elves there was alot of misses clauses clause
there were a few children whichare such like younger children
all can'tbe Christmas without children
it'll just be some it shouldn'tbe. I'm trying to think of how
(02:36):
many different kinds ofChristmas related alliterative
names that we can come up withbecause it was crinkle crawl
next year should it beslop, slanted slide. Right that
a slide?
There's Santa crawl seems alittle too clauses too on the
nose, too on the nose, right weshould call up Graper Yes, and
(02:58):
see what if we can borrow one ofthose Icelandic multi Santas
which bythe way, I will disclose now my
costume next year for crinkleHall is going to be one of those
Icelandicis it going to be spoon liqueur?
Shakerso in Iceland they have all
these 18 Santas.
Really? Yeah, and they're allhighly specific to the what they
do. Yeah,what's Lengai like comes in and
sneaks in your window yeahwindow picqer window
(03:23):
Yeah, one God. Right. PollySanta Santa is
one God one Santa one way to getpolyamorous going to hell? Yeah.
Probably are.
What a weird little play Ialways forget they're real nice.
Really have proof that they'rereal. Yeah.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprisedif they like if it came out like
(03:45):
Pluto's need more. If they'relike, isolated, we made it up.
We talked to a comedian fromthere. And we're like so beyond
Reykjavik. Can you name like thenext he's like, Well, the next
largest town has 25,000 peoplein it. Oh, really? Like that's
the second largest town inIceland. Oh, no.
No, we're in all fairness. Itwas a fun episode. It was nice.
And I learned so much about thealternate Santas. Yes. And
(04:08):
here's an interesting thing,which I would be interested in
your perspective on. He onefunniest person in Iceland.
Right. Iceland's greatest standup. Yeah. And then COVID hit?
Oh, no. And they've not held itsince. Don't you continue to be
the reigning champion, I wouldsay until there's another
competition held.
I think you get to. Yeah, Ithink that's right.
I think it renews like,it's like an automatic renewal,
like why wouldn't it be backyet? I'm wondering, it's like,
(04:31):
very cautious.
He is spreading COVID Everywherehe can to keep the contest from
coming back.
By the way, I don't know thatyou need to be so concerned
about COVID If you're inIceland, because it's like
there's six of us this entiretown like we can separate five
feet. And the only way peoplecome from outside is by boat and
(04:52):
airplane like and they rarelycome.
Alright, so it's good to haveyou back with us comedy round.
We're about to turn the page onthe New Year. Hmm 2022
retrospective been a good yearfor you.
Great Year. Yeah, busy and fun.
I love it. This is I mean, well,you also have compared to the
previous years, it's just morefun like 2020 who suck when he
21 was a little better. And it'slike, as long as it keeps doing
(05:13):
that, I'm very happy you know.
All right. So you are familiarwith the format of the show we
we do hypotheticals so thisepisodes topics are today of
which you will answer only two.
They are war and peace. Fancythat and religions ish. Let's do
religions ish, starting withreligions ish. With Adam. Okay,
(05:40):
so there's a lot of things thatactually are associated with
religions that are not, youknow, you don't think of as
religious like, first off youhave bunnies that Easter, right?
You have trees at Christmas. Butsome of the better ones are you
have Mardi Gras is and carnivalare actually based on religious
periods during the year. So Ithink for me, those are my
(06:01):
favorite religious events likethose kinds of it's so my
question though, is when do youfeel most religious? Like what's
something you do? That makes youfeel like maybe? And I don't
mean like, clearly like a formalreligion, but maybe like in
connection with the greaterhigher power or the universe in
general. But when do you feelmost connected? Ooh,
I mean, well, you haveturbulence on a plane. That's a
(06:25):
big one. Yeah. Oh, connected.
And I don't know who I'm like,is this the devil shaking this
plane? Right? It did God stopit. Something's up. Right. That
definitely gets you going.
How close does the snake have tobe to you on the plane, like in
five proximity for it to havethe same effect as turbulence?
I think I'd rather get bit bythe snake than have the
turbulence or not a turbulencefan. No, but I mean, it's like,
(06:46):
as long as it's less than aminute.
Yeah, the big shakers where youat least get a couple cocktails
off some trays. Yeah, there wego. And you get the screen.
There's always like some womanthat screams on the really big
shakers in the airplane.
Now who does not wear theirseatbelt while sitting?
I always love when people don'tlisten. And if they'll be like,
we turn the seatbelt. So no,it's gonna be bumpy. And then
(07:08):
people just don'tlike, right, they follow?
They're walking back for thebet. Whoa, yeah,
he had an arrow shot. It'd belike Whack a Mole. Yeah, he was
just comingup. Jamie, when you said do you
think everyone experiencesturbulence? The same thing. I
was wondering if like the lawsof physics tell us that, like a
roller coaster. Like the guy inthe back of the plane gets the
most turbulent shit. Right? Youknow how like on roller
(07:29):
coasters, that last car gets thebiggest whip. And like if you're
if you're in a minivan, like ina minivan, the last seat gets
the biggest bump.
I actually would like to know ifthey showed you during
turbulence, how much your planewas actually moving, because it
would change my perspective.
That's why a window seat is goodfor that. Because you can be
like, we're not moving at allright? Like, yeah, we're 10,000
feet. And we're just going like,inches, right? So it's like
(07:52):
nothing,nothing's happening, I think
long way to go tobe comforting for that. Because
you're really just going up anddown four inches.
It's amazing what kind of impactyou can have with four inches.
Oh, hey, that's what I feelreally?
All right. Question number two,question number two, Jamie. Just
on your new Colt lu a new cult.
I mean, I think it would be funto sort of combine all the
(08:16):
existing calls, because everycall has like one or two where
you're like, oh, that's how theygot. Yeah, that's the good
stuff. And then at the end,you're like, oh, so just combine
all of them into like, a nice,like a, like a blended whiskey,
you know? Yeah. Just take thegood stuff. Yeah, just take the
good stuff. Because I mean, Iwas reading the Book of Mormon.
(08:37):
And I was like, man, like,every, like five pages. I'm
like, No, that's not a badpoint. That's not That's not a
bad idea. But then he makeslike, 35 of the worst points you
ever heard?
Yeah. So I just want to pick andchoose, but just make sense. I'd
be like, Hey, I like the idea ofbeing on a farm in the middle.
That kind of going off grid fora little while meditating may be
(08:58):
the, you know, selling mychildren into being spouses of
other members really quickly.
Not so big a fan of that, right.
I can do the farm thing.
And I would want to be veryclear, because I think a lot of
people with cults like do I haveto have sex with the leader?
Yes. And that would be I wouldgo on the news and be like, you
do not write have to have sexwith me.
Right? This is one of the goodguy. One of our tenants of this
(09:19):
church is we get the cool stuff.
We don't get the bad stuff.
Yeah, just make sense. Yeah.
Everybody join, I thinkDo you think Cole would send
cease and desist letters to youbasically saying
no rhymes? Yeah.
And where they're doing op edpieces against you. They're like
that cold. Although it seemsreally awesome. Right now.
There's definitely a suicideback. And
(09:41):
yeah, I would just say it's acall. No one ever says it,
right. No one ever says oh, I'ma cold but I'll go I'm a call.
So if you send me a cease anddesist letter, you're admitting
you're one maybe like hey, look,we were the first call to marry
children at at eight years old.
Like how does he think he hasthe right to do that? We
don't do that. is awesome. Ourcold is awesome. That's not
(10:01):
the part that would let eightyear olds get married but only
to other eight year olds. Theyhave a little tiny house,
which technically happens inelementary schools all around
America. Yeah.
The tiny housevaried four times while I was in
elementary school. gratulationsthat could have been just a
second grade.
(10:21):
Oh, man, you imagine beingdivorced. You're like nine
you're like women.
Who gets a man?
So first of all, I don't knowthat it was technically divorce.
It was just summer break. Yeah,right. That was ever whoever
you're married to. It's allover. I
have a suggestion for marriagethat I think would be cool. Is
(10:42):
to make it like presidentialterms. That you're married for
four years and it ends unlessyou re up. Is it mutual? Re up?
Yeah, I think it has to bemutual. Gotta be mutual. And I
think you got to latterly re upat least one of your friends.
Yeah, say, you know,you're a good couple. Yeah.
The reason that your eight yearold marriage doesn't survive the
summer is because you have toraise hell summer. Get married.
(11:04):
Like, you can't raise hell whilemarried. That's
right. It's funny on your termidea for marriage. Like my wife
calls that an anniversary. Shekeeps looking at me like, Oh,
how'd you do last year? She'slike, I don't know if I'm
renewing this contract or not.
I'm like, come on, please.
I think couples will be on goodbehavior. Yeah, I think it'll
help.
Do you literally have like anannual evaluation?
Oh, she does. Every anniversary?
Yeah. What did we say we'regoing to work on last year.
(11:28):
How'd that go? That's whyeverybody's podcast with a bunch
of dudes. All right.
Religions. Ish. Yes. Do youthink could you have cross
religious trades? Basically saywill late in the game claim your
(11:49):
person? Oh, as hours?
Wow.
We talked about this, likepeople who follow the religion,
Ahmed's in the Bible. Are youtalking about like figures in
religion being traded aboutme showing it to church? And
they're like, Jamie, we'resorry. You got traded to the
Baptists. We got to really,really,
okay, you could do it eitherway. So I think individuals
oftentimes are very free agentwith their faith. Right, right.
(12:13):
Yeah. Are you talking aboutactual figures in the religion?
making a move? Right? That'sthat would be a huge trade.
Yeah, that'd be impactful.
Right? He's a franchise player.
He's probably franchise tag.
I'm honestly kind of surprised.
That doesn't happen. Like whensomebody's numbers are going
down to like, Man, oh, theHindus. What if we got Jesus in
here? You know, yeah, like thathelped at the box office.
(12:34):
Like this. Mary Magdalene. She'sgot some heat right now. Why
don't we trade her to theEpiscopal and see what they can
do?
So you mentioned Mormonism,right? In Mormonism, to my
understanding, I'm notdenigrating anybody who's a
Mormon is there was a person whoessentially said I'm going to it
was like an improv exercise. I'mgoing to Yes. And, and we're
(12:54):
going to add another section,right? Yeah. Right.
Not saying the Bible is wrong.
But here's the new Bible.
Right, right. Which is differentthan a cult, which basically
seems to say, I'm just gonnacreate stuff out of whole cloth.
Yeah, right. But the Mormon isthe only one I know that's a
direct Yeah, well, like, like areboot. You know,
(13:17):
it is a reboot cycle. This islike your Bible. That was good.
It's still a lot of copies. Butnow we have a Book of Mormon the
Bible too.
So why isn't there like, three?
Right, it's time, right? It'sprobably is time that's what
I should do. Your cold. Three.
This is really not a bad idea.
Honestly. Yeah. First,first Bible then Book of Mormon.
(13:38):
No. Book. Okay. lib.
Okay. So, is it possible thatI just stop you there? Caleb
really liked the idea of thebook. Okay.
This is kind of like, whoa.
Like, you know how Joseph Smithdied? He had to be like, 23 and
(13:58):
they threw him out a window.
Yeah,the whole town's turn on you
quick.
It's just I can't imaginejoining up in a religion that
started by a guy in his 20s Youknow, like Yeah, like shut up.
Like Jesus was like I'm 33 I'vebeen around I just like some 20
year olds like you know, Godtold me the new Bible I'd be
like, Come on, why didn't youtell an adult This is
so awkward when we go to breakand this it's the to joy Church
(14:19):
of Latter Day Saints This is socool this
choose joy. All right, we willwrap this discussion much as it
is the season of wrapping hereon the comedy roundtable. Jamie,
Jamie and Adam our guests Calebsigning we will be back with
more of the comedy roundtableright after this
we're Millennials very insecurewith the most insecure
(14:40):
generation we want everybodylike us nobody does. We figured
maybe Gen Z maybe they don'tmaybe they got something that
other generations don't notice.
It all I can see they're all mymillennial friends be like I was
at work. I think all the Gen Zkids don't like me like I walked
in the breaker they all stoppedtalking. I was like Oh no, my
cringe. I think I might becringe Am I correct? You think?
(15:02):
Yes, you're cringe. We're allfriends. Just live cringe. It's
fine. I never even looked it upand just using context clues we
all are it's fine who get why doyou need to hang out with kids?
These are children remember ineighth grade I didn't give a
shit what sixth graders thought.
Keep doing that.
(15:24):
Till me well hit them with yourhands worked in every grade.
That's cool. So my friends arehaving kids. Some Millennials
are having kids. What? Why?
What? Butdon't do it. If you're a
millennial, and you already hada kid, give it back. Give it
back. One of my friends as akid, he's still a goth. Remember
(15:47):
Goths? He's still being a gothMiddle School. 30 years old.
He's a golfer with lower backpain and a kid. It's not gonna
work. How's it gonna work? How'sit gonna work off dad? How's it
gonna work kid comes home fromschool. He's like, I
hate my life.
I hate you go into my room.
You're like me too. Then youboth run up the stairs. Who
(16:09):
stays downstairs. So when askedto stay downstairs, like that.
put my foot down.
Can't put your foot down a pairof vans.
(16:32):
Right comedy round tablereturns. If you have enjoyed
this 2022 Season of comedy roundtable, make sure you're liking
subscribing. Most importantly,evangelizing based on our last
segment. For the comedy roundtable, we will have additional
exciting episodes in 2023. Andbeyond God willing, man really
(16:56):
bring him to God.
All right, so what do you gotcoming up in 2023?
You know, I'm working on a newspecial trying to do another
one. And hopefully they'll learna new album, all that kind of
stuff, working on a script bunchof a bunch of stuff. We'll see
what happens but uh, trying todo a bunch of things. Nice.
So your remaining subjects arewar and peace and fancy that I
(17:20):
like fancy that fancy thatstarting with Adam.
So this is again, an example ofour pre show kind of get you
behind the scenes a little bitwhen they say fancy that I
actually heard fans see that. SoI was thinking what do fans see
that others don't as a fan, oneof the hardest things for me to
ever see was Wade Boggs as ofRoss and Red Sox fan. It was
(17:41):
very difficult for me to seeWade Boggs riding a horse around
Yankee Stadium after they hadwon the world championship. Is
there anything that you've beena fan of? That kind of broke
your heart? You just say fanssee that it hurts.
Well, other than Kanye, it'sreally a big drop off. Right?
Right. Like he's beenridiculous.
(18:03):
Because I've always loved hismusic. Yeah. And then, you know,
and you're kind of like, maybehe's an artistic genius. That's
just a little bit off. But it'sokay. We still enjoy him a lot.
And now it's like, oh, no, he'sjust really off.
What's really crazy is you thinkabout there's millions of people
who are like, they're like, Man,I love what this guy says. And
then they listen to music andthey go, Oh, this sucks. They're
(18:24):
the opposite. Everybody's alittle disappointed. Yeah, Fancy
that. There's not one personthat loves the music and the
thoughts.
Right, right.
You're either Kanye.
Not not even as wide Yeah.
There's no I'm sure Kanye.
It's possible. He doesn't. Yeah,it's possible that he doesn't
(18:44):
a lot of people like Eminem. Youknow? Like, yeah, when he used
to be like a wild guy. And thennow He's like, he's like, a dad
corporate. Yeah. And he's like,he's got a restaurant. Yeah. Has
a restaurant. Yeah, it's calledMom's spaghetti.
The guys call with a real Jamie.
Hernan, please stand down.
(19:05):
Please stand up with a realJamie Hernan, please stand up.
Yeah, that's just it hurts. Youknow, because at some point,
he's gonna sell us a reversemortgage. Yeah, he's gonna be
right. No, yeah. Do you thinkabout all those people in the
27? Club? You know, like it likehow weird it would be to see
Kurt Cobain, you know, you know,commercial for Cialis? Yeah,
(19:30):
he's like, You ever get yourdangers out? You know, it's just
some people you don't want tosay just like I'd rather you be
the legend. Yes, absolutely.
Can you imagine watching themasked singer and the head comes
off? Oh, no.
Would you die a little insideobeying your child? Yours would
(19:50):
die.
So you're just finding out thathe didn't actually die? Yeah.
And he decided to do the bigreveal on the mask.
That would be pretty cool,actually. So it turns out Elvis
is still alive of Kurt Cobainstill alive sounds just like an
older Elvis. Could you imaginehow much better the ratings
would be for that show? They'relike, No, this last year, it was
Kurt Cobain. Like this year.
(20:10):
It could be. It's like abaseball card. It's like there's
probably one autograph card inthis whole box. Right? So each
season, they're like, one personyou think is dead. Not dead. If
it's everpossible to bring people back
from the dead. That's the firstthing that will do it. It'll be
a big corporation that like theMac singer. We're doing it for
the masked singer. Right, right.
They're not gonna bring backLincoln. It's gonna be Kurt
Cobain. That's right. What ifthey brought back Lincoln to
(20:32):
sing? Oh, no, that's what theywould do. They wouldn't let him
be president. Yeah, no, he wouldjust do Hello, honey
with that being in the firstround. So this guy comes up and
he's like a horrible singer.
Like the producers like no, youhave to give him good marks. We
have to get him through. Soyou're seeing we spent a billion
dollars to make this.
This is actually why JFK Jr.
didn't come back. And he wassupposed to because he got a
(20:55):
better deal with the maskedsinger for next season. So
I honestly hope so. That'd bereally cool. Gosh, we're we are
actually creating some prettycool stuff.
This cult is going great. Sofar. We are
admittedly, I'm still stuck atthe host stand at the Slim Shady
(21:15):
restaurant.
What do you got? Jamie? What dayto day activity would be
enhanced by you been able to doit in a tuxedo? Ooh,
I would say arguing with mygirlfriend. Nice. I feel like I
would get a little more respect.
Yeah, I feel like I'd be morelikely to win in a tuxedo.
(21:37):
He's clearly an authority onthis.
Yeah. Now she's just dressedhowever, or she's feeling like
sweatpants right? Yeah,you're wearing a tuxedo you're
like I'm wearing a tuxedo and Isay it's this way.
I probably still lose I'm goingon for a shorter point for
centuries of wedding daydisputes. That show you that
(21:58):
wearing a tuxedo does not changethe outcome. Oh no. But
see the bride is dressed up moreif she was wearing sweatpants to
the wedding the groom wouldwould win the art would
intimidatewith his with his outerwear
mutual fans. Were equals loss.
Correct. You have to have asymmetrical fans
if mutual fancy is the same assweatpants versus sweatpants.
Right, right. So you're on thesame level pants versus tuxedo
(22:21):
tuxedo wins. Okay, well, tuxedowedding dress ones.
Okay. I think that's that'd benumber one. For sure. All right,
sofancy that you have to deliver
the worst possible news toanother person. Yeah. Which
accent Are you picking to fancyit up?
(22:41):
Okay, the worst possible news. Imean, after I just saw that a
new knives out that insaneaccent James Bond has? Yeah,
just to be like, I have somenews about her mother. Like, I
would be fine with that. Like, Iactually wouldn't want a British
accent for like bad news. Yeah.
Cuz then I would feel like theywere enjoying it. You know?
(23:02):
Like, like, your mother hasdied. I'd be like, No, I love
you to do it.
That's a really good call.
That's probably that actually isthe correct answer. By the way.
We've We've done some researchand
Australia to be like, did youhave fun or like your mom's dead
to death? Yeah, the Benoit blancaccent? I would say it is
elevated southern sort ofFoghorn Leghorn. Yeah. Well,
(23:24):
they don't say they're ours.
Really? Yeah. There's been amurder. Yeah, I love that. It's
very soothing.
Alright, I watched the mostdisturbing documentary on Amazon
recently.
Not the most disturbingdocumentary pretty disturbing.
Okay, let's go with pretty it'sabout the Jets. No, it's about
two traveling young women whotake a three month gig
(23:49):
called taken. You would havethought I have a certain set of
skillswhere they take a gig at for
three months as bartenders at aremote truckstop bar. Oh, in
Australia. Oh, yeah. Gotta watchit is the tagline for the show.
You'd never believe what happensout back. Ooh.
(24:12):
Good, Be good. Be Awesome. Yeah.
I'm getting tons of informationcoming from the side of the
table. It's gonna do for thissegment of the cabinet
roundtable. Jamie, Jamie andAdam sometimes recorded live
outside the punch line comedyClub inside the dining room of
the landmark diner. Our guestthis episode, Caleb sign and
(24:34):
we'll be back with his finalthoughts about war and peace.
Alright, have you ever beenpulled over by a cop younger
than you that hurts like that atall. 22 year old guy walks over
with his first mustache. He'slike, hey, you know why I pulled
you over and like like, what doyou do you know anything. You
(24:56):
just learned the types of cloudsand you're over here telling me
cumulus noodle thisweird little things like that,
like I hate seeing a young kidsmoking. Some 21 year old
smoking a cigarette. I want toknock it out of his mouth. Just
like what do you what do you Oh,I gotta take the edge off.
(25:18):
No pain in my back. Oh, sevenmore years on my parent's
insuranceexcited one of my friends just
had a baby, little baby kid. Andit was taking a nap. And me and
her were in the kitchen. And shewas like, Ooh, he just found out
(25:39):
he has a penis. So he's goingthrough that phase where he's
touching it a lot.
And I was like phasewouldn't worry about it.
(26:06):
He'll grow out of that when he'sdead.
Got a few minutes left here inthis episode. So our remaining
subject is war and peace. Let'sstart with Adam.
So here we go. Again. I thoughtit was Warren peas like the
vegetable. And I was thinkingthat when I was a kid, we used
to have green peas on meals allthe time. And I just never see
(26:29):
green peas really going onanymore. So I'm going to ask you
when it comes to veggiebranding, who do you think is
overhyped? Like which vegetabledo you think is overhyped? And
which one is under hyped?
I'll tell you this. People got alot of beef with asparagus.
Yeah, like their pee smells sogood. The rest of the day? Yeah.
Yeah. I don't know why I thinkthat's really like kale is
crushing it. You know, Swisschard, there's all these
(26:51):
vegetables. They're like superfoods, and they're good, but
asparagus tastes great. Yep. Andthe people who I don't want my
pizza smell like, like, who'sgonna catch you? I just I love
asparagus. And I feel like it'sway down on the totem pole for
no reason, except forthe urine thing. And that's
bullshit, because one doesn'tnecessarily impact everybody,
youknow, packs no one it doesn't.
(27:12):
Well, it doesn't. Like somepeople don't even have the smell
genedinner party has gone way wrong.
Everyone is finding outyou flush it like what are we
talking about? Sean heartcare.
Yeah,that's not a true negative.
Right.
All right. So the United Statesentered a period of peace in the
early 1920s With PresidentWarren Harding. Warren's piece.
(27:32):
rumor had it that Harding had anickname for his manhood. He
referred to it as Jerry. So myquestion is, what do you think
Donald Trump nicknamed? Ischildhood imaginary friend
I made it seems impossible thatat some point, it wasn't Donald
Trump Jr. Right? Yeah,he still calls it Donald Trump
Jr. Which causes all kinds ofconfusion at Thanksgiving
dinner.
(27:53):
Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, I that'sthat's my honest assessment. Had
you neverplayed with me? I play with
Donald Trump Jr. All the time.
Who also what I wonder aboutthese historians like Warren G.
Harding. When does that come up?
When they're like, oh, you know,he's president during the then
he's, what is he asking peoplethat worked at the White House?
(28:14):
Like, doyou know if you have any
nicknames for like, yeah, likekind of historian is this? Okay,
War and Peace. Give me somethingthat has a positive
collaborative relationship thatyou would like to see in
conflict.
Oh, okay. Positivecollaborative. I would, you
(28:34):
know, it'd be fun to see like,you know, that like, there was
that chicken sandwich war. Iwould like to see and I think it
would be fun. I'd like to seeTaco Bell just take on literally
every restaurant because I thinkthey could win. I think people
really are versus everybody. Ithink Taco Bell and I would
think it'd be a fun brand, wherethey're like, What do you got?
We'll do it. And I think though,when we're open on Sunday, we'll
(28:56):
do a chicken sandwich. We'll doa chicken taco
garden. We're doing a FettuccineAlfredo. Yeah. Taco Bell will
when?
When you first hear about TacoBell's Fettuccine Alfredo,
you're like that is I'm nevereating. Taco Bell you like
I gotta see what this historydoes talk.
(29:18):
I don't know why it's wrapped inDoritos, but yeah, I'm
gonna try I'm gonna try. I lovethem so much.
The only fast food restaurantwhere I off menu order is Taco
Bell.
Well wait talking about so theyeliminated the maximum
Maxi melt? Yeah, well, Ididn't even know it's a maxi
melt.
It's possibly a pizza. No, no,not the Mexican pizza. This was
(29:43):
Taco Bell had a beef maximalokay, I'm picturing a case of
deal with beef was like a minitaco roll up and it had cheese
and beef. And so you go and youorder that to talk about a limit
for you. They don't make themanymore. But they but they do
make A cheesy roll up so you doa cheesy roll up with beef, add
beef, add tomatoes.
(30:04):
Oh, I know. That's smart. That'sgood. I realized I'm that guy
ordering off theanimal style. Yeah, you're gonna
orderoff menu at Taco Bell, you need
to be wearing a tuxedo.
100% obviously, alright, so thatis your war. That's my war
Cobell versus everybody I thinkthey went.
(30:24):
Okay, Red Lobster. You gotlobsters.
Have you ever had Doritoscheddar biscuits?
You ever had? A Shrimp? Shrimp?
Best Taco Bell? Yeah. Cheddarbiscuit scampi. We got fries.
Like fire sauce in your scanner.
Window number one, you get topick out the live lobster.
(30:48):
Go to Window number two forpayment. Right window number
three, you pick up your last.
Okay, so he's hungry. Now. Giveme something that is in conflict
that you would like to see atpeace.
Oh, boy. I mean, there's so manyconflicts that are like, so many
serious answers. Yeah, we'regonna absolve you from all the
ones that like I can't believeyou didn't say that.
(31:12):
Power. It's not a wasted we'renot going to actually, who can
we get rid ofdon't underestimate our power.
I'll tell you this, it wouldactually make me feel good. I
think it would be one of myfavorite things as a comedian
ever was in the 80s. I wasn'teven alive in the 80s. But I my
favorite thing on YouTube stillis what limo used to go on
Letterman, like I think it wasevery six weeks. He was the
(31:34):
guest. And it was they were justgreat together. They were super
funny. I would love it. If theyjust the beef ended. I just want
to see him do that again.
Because I think it's so funnybecause Dave is always a little
mean to Jay Wright and kind ofmaking fun of his jokes and
going really, it seems unlikelyyour dad wouldn't be familiar
with that. Your dad is not 1000years old yet and he would just
like make fun of his premises.
(31:55):
So could you then see on anupcoming season of David
Letterman's My next guest needsno introduction to have Jay
Leno.
I wouldn't love that. I wouldreally I don't think it'll
happen but it's a wish I've hadfor a while
but you're actually going to seeis a duo on the masked singer.
(32:15):
If anyone's ever guessed soundslike Jay Leno.
Big chin on that mask? Huge.
Massive. The chins annoying justwalks out with his head and
everybody's like what's underthere? And he's like, No, it's
me.
That's me. Yeah.
Where'd you get this now?
Enormous beard just kind offalling out the bottom. Yeah.
(32:36):
Well, we appreciate you takingthe time to come in with any
plans to be back in Atlanta someof the time during the year.
Hopefully. I like to come asmuch as I can here. I mean, it's
just the best. All right,well, for Jamie, Jamie and Adam
and our guests Caleb signing youknow where to find them online
isfind me on Twitter at dumb Caleb
and find me on Instagram atCaleb signer.
All right. Not on Tik Tokas before, but I don't use it
(32:57):
much.
Yeah, yeah. It's a quality notquantity issue. Yeah.
All right for Jamie Damien. Andwe'll catch you next time. Put
your chair back where you foundit. This is comedy roundtable.
We will see you next episode.
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