You know him as Troy Hawke of the Greeters Guild on social media, but get to know the man behind the compliments, Milo McCabe, who pulled up a chair to the Comedy Roundtable virtually from the UK, his base of operations for his stand up comedy and online video creation. Milo took time out before departing for a tour in Australia.
Milo McCabe is the creator of Troy Hawke, through whom the viral Greeters Guild series was born. As well as surprising the Manchester City Team, Peter Andre, Naughty Boy and various other celebrities with off the cuff compliments, he has been performing full time on the comedy circuit (domestic and international) for the last ten years and has won several awards. His 2019, 2021 and 2022 tours have all sold out as well as his last two Edinburgh runs.
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@troy_hawke
Website: http://www.milomccabe.co.uk/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Billix1
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:00):
Ladies and gentleman comedy roundtable coming up on
this episode,did he try and get you to do it
when you're a kid, and then shewas there and then cover your
face and it's blood, you cried,and you're like this isn't for
me, I think Biden would have tohave a club or some kind of
knife or something,you're happy to hunt by the side
of a road or in a parking lot,because you just don't want to
(00:24):
do any cardio.
As you can see, by my size, Iavoid cardio at all.
We have saved a chair for youour listener and we've also
saved a chair here at theroundtable for our guest this
evening. ILO McKay, but normallywe are recording at the punch
line comedy club in Atlanta,Georgia. But we are doing this
(00:45):
off site in our regular studiobecause our guest is joining us
today from a different timezone. Welcome to the show. Milo.
Thank you for having me, Jamie.
Number one.
I want to jump in right thereand argue for the number one
spot. I don't know how I endedup number two.
It's simply by the timing of thevoice he's giving Jamie because
(01:05):
he was the first wasintroduced first. Appreciate you
joining us today how things beengoing pretty well.
Yeah, good, busy, hectic, nocomplaints that no one wants to
hear just just complaints aboutbeing busy and tired and all
that. Else. You're touring allaround the UK right now.
I'm touring around the UK. I'mabout to go to Australia for two
(01:26):
months. And I'm bringing myfamily with me. So we've got two
daughters nine and six. And wegot them off school, because we
argued fairly accurately I thinkthat it would be a formative
experience for those two to goaround the schools. The schools
were like Yeah, sounds great.
Bring them so we're gonna go ona family holiday for two months.
Wow. For holiday for them iswork for me because I'm doing
(01:47):
like old comedy festivals. Butyeah, it's playing about.
Alright, so our format here oncomedy round table is we ask
lightning round style questions.
Oh, shit ready? Yes. All right,let's go on right up your alley?
Milea. Don't you worry. Allright, we are I will tell you
all three of the topics, youonly choose them one at a time.
(02:09):
One of them does not get used.
All right. Okay. All right, yourchoices for this episode, our
mystery box, fight or flight orout of ink. I'm gonna go fight
or flight fight or flight.
Alright, excellent choicestarting with Adam.
(02:30):
So we've had discussions on onearlier podcasts about what
would be the best skill to havein an apocalypse, right? The
best would it be to be an armsguy would it be to be a you
know, the guy who can farm theguy who, and we've come to the
agreement that being charmingwould be an incredibly good
skill.
But the word Machiavellianpopped in my head, right? If you
(02:55):
don't have to do anything, youjust have to be able to convince
people to give you their shit,basically, right? Point. Because
as every Apocalypse series andshow, nobody trusts each other.
So you just got to jump overthat hurdle. And then you can
become whatever you need to bethis character though. Troy
Hawk, who is a very charmingindividual, but every once in a
(03:15):
while comes up against peoplethat are asking him to leave or
asking him, you know, kind ofget into an argument with you.
Why does charming not work inall situations?
So what you're referring to iswhen I do the videos, and
basically I'm able to deploy mycharm to passers by, and it's
fine, I can give them acompliment, they always take it,
(03:38):
I've been hit, and one of themanagers come out, yeah, and I
represent a set of variablesthat they haven't encountered
before. So that immediately putsthem on the back foot. And they
immediately it's a kind of aninherent xenophobia. I don't
understand what this is. Sotherefore, it must be a threat.
(04:01):
And I have to remove itimmediately. The only time it
hasn't happened was in Denmarkwhen a shop manager came out and
said, What are you doing? And Isaid, I'm greeting people and he
said, Okay, so you know, nobodyis the only store manager that's
that's applied logic. They comeout they don't know what's going
(04:22):
on. They just go straight. Thisis a threat that has to be
removed instantly.
So is the apocalypse ishappening is the first thing you
do to go get the smoking jacket.
Here's here's the thing, I amthe worst liar ever. Like I'm
very good. You see that like thetraitors show? You're like, well
for mafia wherever. I am a greatvillager. I'm a great I can't
(04:47):
like shit. So I if I werebasically my transferable
skills, what are they? I mean,I'd have to approach a
community. And I'd have to say,look, I don't know what this is
worth, but cuz I've got a tightcomedy our, everything kind of
fits and ties in. And I can juststand on that bench and do it in
(05:11):
front of all of these toppingangry people.
So you're gonna be the courtjester?
I believe it is in bread. Yeah,that'd be perfect. I think
they're gonna say, you know,we're full of prepper assholes
in here. And we actually needsomebody that we would like to
spend time with.
Right? So you said that you area terrible liar, though, does
that mean that in all of yourvideos, every compliment you
(05:32):
make you believe true to thecore
on mean it, I mean, it all likewhat I'll do when I'm being
Troy, I'll try and put 100% ofmy attention on to whoever
happens to be coming up, orwhoever I'm locked in on. And
I'll look at everything. AndI'll just try and put everything
on them. It's actually quitetiring. And then I'll try and
(05:52):
sort of pull something out ofwhat I'm seeing and throw it
back at them.
Right? Because that would beimportant for people. Because if
I have a comedian give me acompliment. My first thing I'm
thinking is, are they mocking meright? orgasm, right?
Here's the thing, Jamie, astroke to stroke B. Nobody
knows. I'm a comedian. Even thepeople that come to my live
(06:14):
shows, the vast majority ofthem. Do not know that. I'm a
comedian. They just think I'mthe greatest guy. They don't
know. I've got like 15 years ofcomedy experience under my belt,
which which in a way is a goodthing, because the bar at my
tour show they come in. And if Iliterally greeted these people
for an hour, I think I'd belike, Well, yeah, what do we
expect?
Do you agree people at the doorfor your show?
(06:35):
I sometimes, but some of thevenues are getting too big now
and I can't Alright, Jamie,fight
or flight. Tell us about a timein your life when your fight or
flight response got it terriblywrong.
Oh, gosh, loads. So I remember.
I was a university and I was atuniversity in the 90s. And it
was lad culture. So everybodyreally prides themselves on if
(06:57):
not being tough presenting akind of a Laddie toughness, for
example, and we were walkingback and I went to university
and Liverpool. And some ladsstarted like it was a group of
us about three or four. Somelads stage shouting at us, there
was a bit of anti studentfeeling at the time. And I think
(07:18):
I shouted something funny back,this guy sort of stepped across
the road to come at me. And Ijust, I just fucking dusted I
was I was heels and smoke. Andyou think, yeah, fair enough,
but not in the culture. I was atuniversity because then you get
a name for yourself. And you'rethat guy that cut and ran away.
(07:40):
And these guys didn't doanything. They came up and they
sort of fronted up to my friendsand my friends fronted up back
to them, and nothing was evergonna happen. But in my mind,
all those alarm bells went off.
And I was like, and I justdusted I absolutely got out of
there. And my name was mudat uni, but you didn't make the
track and field team, right?
(08:02):
Yeah.
And that's why I started goingto boxing because I was like, I
can't can't have this happenagain. Yeah, I can't. It's just
a pathetic male ego thing.
I do think, though, that in anygood fight, the cutting runner
is an important position. Like,I wish I had a guy like you
again. Can you take our stuffand go, we'll meet you back at
(08:24):
the house. And then we willwe'll stay here. But we'd like
to know that our phones and ourkeys are in our wallets are all
taken care of.
I remember another time where ithappened. I was a bit drunk. So
I was a bit braver and I think Ihad all this suppressed rage
from all of my previous runningaway from these things. And I
pretended that I was fromGlasgow, and there's something
(08:46):
inherently terrifying about theGlaswegian accent. Now the risky
thing was that this guy was alsoScottish. So it was a really
high risk strategy, but I gotaway with it is like, I can't
remember what he said to me. Ithink something about me being
gay, and I was like, who youcall and gay, Paul. He called me
good. Where are you fit? I'menvious anyway. Oh, shorty, I
(09:09):
don't know is there I know,blah, blah, blah. And I was just
I was very high risk. But I waslike, alright, that works. Just
fine. I guess. What would be theequivalent accent in the states
that would make people go oh,Detroit.
Yeah. Or New York like aBrooklyn Right? Like Brooklyn. A
(09:31):
hard Brooklyn accent?
Detroit soundswe're gonna problem here. You
stupid milk. We're gonna we'regonna throw down. This is what's
gonna happen. You and me. We'regonna do this.
Yeah. All right. So fight andflight is the famous phrase, but
the other famous fighter pairingis love. Yeah, I'm a lover or a
(09:51):
fighter. So this is kind of atwo part question. The first is,
does it mean that all lovers arefighters.
Not because fight or flight it'slike an innate lizard response.
It's like a lizard brain thing.
It's just what loveror fighter is a choice? Yeah.
Okay, when with lover you may bedisrobed. So love might be
(10:11):
naked. suppose for the sake ofargument that fighters were
naked, yeah. Would you fight anaroused fighter?
Am I Jamie, number one for younow?
Yeah. Let's go back to Jamie.
Oh, just saying I think in afight or flight response, I
would run from the guy whowanted to have a fight and was
(10:33):
aroused while doing it.
That was such a tenuous segue.
I have a big question. Let's goto heavy question. I have a big
question.
No, no, no, no, no, let's staywith whatever strands of logic
were there? Would I fightsomeone who was aroused?
(10:53):
Somebody says I'm a lover or afighter. Right? It implies that
you're one or the only what I'msaying is, I love fighting, I
would want to avoid the person.
Because I think evolutionarilyit describes you can either be
only one or the other. You canlove or you can fight. Right?
And that your body isn't builtto do both at the same time. Is
your thinking always this blackand white?
(11:17):
Oh, it's always this gray,actually may end the fight not
because you want to avoid it.
But because that's a form offlattery. And then you realize
that maybe you you aren't as No,I would think enemies is
about to engage with an anomalyof evolution. Yeah, this guy who
loved fighting No, no, the factthat was able to do both at the
same time, because normallypeople don't think like, oh, I'm
(11:40):
about to be in a fistfight. Thisis kind of turning me on.
Oh, let me let me try and pullsomething out. There's Yeah, so
one thing I will say is that, Idon't know if you you know, but
as soon as you had a fight withsomeone in primary school, the
only way you could get you endedup best friends with them.
(12:00):
Right? I don't remember this,because you've seen each other
at your most primal. Sosomeone's like, you've got
nowhere else to go. But befriends, you, you can't really
have pretense or small talk whenyou've been rolling around on
the floor with someone tryingto, you know, scratch their eyes
out or whatever. We're talkingabout evolutionary anomalies.
(12:22):
And also, as soon as you foughtwith your partner, when you make
up, it's just like,but the days are separated.
That's what I'm saying is theactivities aren't existing in
the same space, the fight spaceis distinct from the love space.
You think, because I think youfight harder with the people
that you love. I think yourfamily and your closest people
(12:43):
have access to that big redbutton, they know exactly the
right thing to set you off, turnyou into the worst version of
yourself.
I've always thought that like ina bar fight. One of the scariest
things would be if the personkind of leaned in and said, I'm
so gonna love this, right?
That would be like going all inlike, like that would be if that
(13:07):
were a bluff. That would be atremendous bluff.
Yeah. To be like, I'm going tolove this I enjoy this so much.
This is by ng Ah.
Okay, so I'm trying to salvageso in a pairing, right,
opposites attract, but in arelationship lovers and fighters
(13:28):
seem like a poor match.
Okay? Well, my thoughts on thatis like, when you're in a
relationship you've got, you'vegot to fight, argue, because you
gotta, you gotta like, work outwhere each other's boundaries
are. And if you've got someonewho's running away from every
situation, or conflict, they'renever going to set their
boundaries. And they might nothave an argument. But then five
(13:48):
years later, they just split upbecause of a lack of, you know,
authentic communication. Solike, when I got together with
my wife, she'd never had anargument with the boyfriend. And
I'm very sort of, you know,let's get this out on the table
and process it. So it was a bitjarring for her at first, but
now we're at the point where we,we will have like an argument
heated discussion, but at theend of it, we'll kind of resolve
(14:12):
what the issue was, or we'll,we'll get to the nub of it. And
so you have to have thosearguments is my opinion.
Let's lock out this firstsegment here on the comedy round
table with our guests. MiloMcCabe we'll be back with more
right after this.
Do we have any teachers hit?
You, you get impostor syndromewhere Daniel costs you to your
teacher, good lord, every dayyou have to go in mindful of the
(14:35):
fact that one wrong word, onewrong foot, you could say
something to one of thosegentle, malleable minds that
could psychologically damagedthem for the rest and not only
damage them damage, their senseof self damage all of their
future relationships. Just onetiny thing you could say to
spiral them off into a psychicvortex of negativity. You have
(14:57):
to be on point every day and Iimagine the worry about that
keeps you awake some nightswould that be accurate
the reason that you haveimpostor syndrome is because
you're good at your job. Do youunderstand that? The fact that
you're analyzing and questioningyourself makes you good at what
(15:19):
you do to do was not good attheir jobs. People leave work
every day. Smash the grin out ofthat one. Not go to their jobs,
but they do end up running thecountry. You've got a trolley
Can I direct it this way intoPrisma? I know are symbols of
triangles. But I can assure youwe have nothing to do with the
(15:40):
Illuminati. Or Palo. They're funshopping or functional shopping.
School. I love you harder.
You're coming into Prisma Oh,wonderful. Not put off by the
triangles. Good for you can areall coming in. Fabulous. You
have a wonderful color scheme,sir. You are the finished Larry
(16:01):
David. And we are delighted tohave you in this store. Not many
people can pull off doubledenim. But you are smashing it.
You're the Marlboro Man afterhe's given up. I love it. I told
you you had a wonderful colorscheme. So does he and you both
match each other? What uh, ofcourse, I hope you have a lovely
day. Thank you very much. Soyou've got me out of my head.
(16:24):
Oh, there's wonderful sometimesyes, I'll say the thinker's with
our washing machine brains.
Welcome to plasma, we sometimesneed a moment to remind
ourselves. So the rewards ofbeing in the present. Welcome to
prisoners. Grab your trolley,get in there and smash it. Yeah,
of course. Thank you very much.
I think you might be on it.
(16:51):
Alright, second segment here ofthe comedy roundtable. Our guest
this episode is Milo McCabe, wehad a segment that I wanted to
take flight from from theawkwardness of question. And
which one of the seven questionsit was, I was I was fighting my
way out until I decided it wastime to take flight. Stop. Good.
(17:14):
All right. Your remaining topicsfor this episode are either
Mystery Box or out of ink.
Well, I mean, to be honest, outof anchors is essentially a
mystery box anyway. Right. SoI'm just gonna go for Mystery
BoxMystery Box starting with Adam.
(17:36):
Okay, so my Mystery Box is iswho do you think would win in a
fight? And I'm taking your PrimeMinister Sunak. And Joe Biden,
who wins in that fight? Oh,I've seen that Joe Biden is the
oldest fireclay hours. Yeah.
Unless there's, I mean, I feellike with Biden versus Senate
that have to be sort ofconditional elements to sort of
(17:57):
even up a little bit like, Ithink Biden would have to have a
club or some kind of knife orsomething. Like come on. How old
is Biden?
Oh, he's a million. Like he'sgot two years old. Yeah,
where she is? I don't know. Iwouldn't. You wouldn't
automatically look like he's gotfighting experience, but he
definitely looks like a youngman. And he's got a job.
(18:21):
What if Joe Biden leans in andsays I am so gonna enjoy it?
Yeah, Joe Biden says, Thank you.
It's, like, so cute. Hey, man,I'm still gonna beat the shit
out.
Yeah, exactly. I don't I don'tthink that you see if you hear
if you're about to have a fightwith a dude in his 80s. And you
hear I'm so going to enjoy this.
You start thinking you're partof some assisted suicide thing.
(18:41):
You're like, Oh, God. This guy.
This guy wants it the end now.
You can be as tall. Naked. Hi.
Don's. staring at each otherkills them. Yeah,
it's just yeah, I'll bring backa logical link to your question.
(19:02):
I appreciate that. My love.
Thank you the geopolitics comeinto that it did. And I want to
just get a little side note inhere that I went to college in
Washington, DC. And inWashington, you see one of the
worst places to park in theentire world. And you could
always find parking at theTibetan embassy because the
Buddhist would never do anythingyou like you could always Park
(19:24):
in their reserve spots, and theBuddhists would just let it
roll. Isn't that a bad use ofyour karma though?
It's probably is and I probablystill paying for
that. I don't want to contributeto your anxiety. But knowing
your life story, you probablyhaven't paid for that yet. Like
it's like I think it'samazing how difficult it is
spending time with you.
(19:48):
All right, Jamie mystery box.
All right, if you were to openup the greeters guild membership
to other members of the animalkingdom. Yeah, Which animal do
you think would make the bestreader. Oh 1,000%
a qualquer qualquera qualquer qu? O double k? So
qualquer zoo these animals inAustralia? I think I met I met
(20:11):
some in Perth, right? I don'tknow if they're just Perth, but
they're on Australia. So theseclockers I don't quite even know
what they are they're like thesekind of gerbil things they run
around this island right? CalledRottnest I think it's got. And
soon as they see you thesepockets, they just think you're
(20:34):
a big qualquer like they justrun up to you, they'll eat out
your hand, you can pet them, youcould stroke them that friendly
is how I think that only inAustralia though I as far as I'm
aware, but look them up becausethese are the most adorable,
innately friendly animals ever.
(20:55):
Which is weird because theirname sounds like an insult.
cuaca your Cauca Yeah, it does.
Actually it does. But it's avery on the nose answer but
with Australia like that theyhave an animal that is actually
evolutionary so messed up thatit comes towards the thing that
probably should fear most aqualquer they still about so
(21:15):
like, people haven't gotten ridof the walkers? Yeah.
So like, people were just like,these guys are cool. So they're
like, Oh, well, people are cool,too. So everyone's just hanging
out.
Not to go full circle here. Butcharming. The Kwok charming. And
that's how they survive. Right?
On the charm.
100%. Yeah.
All right. I do have a follow upquestion. You're interviewing
(21:37):
new members for the greetersguild?
What is one animal human human?
Human? Excellent question. Thatwas a good clarification. Yeah.
What is one question you mustask in each interview to vet out
charlatans?
Is it possible to be a lover anda fighter at the same time?
That's the That's the realquestion. That's a good point.
(21:58):
Yeah, the callbacks are amazing.
Thisquestion would be, I guess, is I
would say, I mean, once thequestions of the mouth, I just
put them right on the spot. AndI'd go right, compliment me now.
Got up. Who cares? Cuz like whenI'm doing this thing I have to
react. And so I'd be like, I'dsee how they got on with that.
(22:24):
Computers always have one readyto go. Yeah, the good
one. Great. I actually went toNew York. And I actually met
some because we don't havegreeters here really, in the UK.
But that's why I'm such ananomaly. But But like, when I, I
went to New York, I think I wentto a CVS. And it was a great
job. And it was a couple ofdifferent ones. I went to the
(22:46):
same CVS. And I don't know,there wasn't like a high level
of enthusiasm or excitement atmy presence in the store I have.
There's definitely a level ofgreeting is you could still take
a lot from The Guild.
Yeah, like great is the I'veseen they technically group.
It's like the bare minimum ofhuman interaction to like
(23:08):
fulfill the job. They say, Hey,how you doing? That is
alright, mystery box. It is atrend slash fad that you can
sign up for a service that willsend you a mystery box. It's a
it's a clothing service, you geta mystery box of clothes, or a
mystery box of something. Isthere a business or product for
(23:32):
which you would never subscribeto their monthly mystery box?
Probably the Conservativegovernment. Probably like the
Tories, like I would hate to seewhat you'd get in a Tory mystery
(23:53):
box.
Perhaps their mystery box wouldbe empty. And then you would
have to put things in it to sendit back
to the idea of that conservativebox. Yeah, that would be
interesting. In the UnitedStates. That would be a gun, a
Bible. A flag would be what youwould get. Yeah, you'd give you
every year. Last month's box.
Yeah. They throw that to youevery month and just saying you
(24:16):
got to have more guns. You gotto have more Bibles. And you got
to have more flag. I don't haveany issues with people who have
guns or having guns. I grew upin a house with lots of guns,
but they were all huntingrifles, right like my father was
a hunter. I don't hunt. I don'treally think that somebody's
going to break into maybe tryand get you to do it when you're
a kid and then shoot a deer andthen cover your face and it's
(24:38):
blood and you cry and and you'relike this isn't for me.
I wish it was a story like Iwish it was that it was more
about the fact that the idea ofwalking into the woods for a
long time taking down a buck andthen dragging that animal all
the way back seemed absolutelymiserable to me like the I
(24:59):
with you is more logical thanemotional? Yeah, I think so
you're happy to hunt by the sideof a road or in a parking lot, I
guess, because I would don'twant to do any cardio.
As you can see, by my size, Iavoid cardio at all costs.
Is it possible that we couldreschedule this episode at the
time it was originally scheduledfor and I can be late? Yeah,
we'll justdo and some of your materials
have been a little off today,but that's okay.
(25:26):
When this ultimately airs mylife it turns out, I thought
there were three people yeah,there's only a limited out of
this episode completely.
Alright. So online, peopleshould follow you to purchase
tickets to your live shows orsee your other content where?
Absolutely, so I, Troy hook onall late platforms, tick tock,
(25:50):
Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, allof that. And then I'm touring
the UK, Australia. And then I'min New York again in October for
a couple of weeks. I'm at theSoho House in New York for a
couple of weeks. Sowhere are you got gigs in the
city? Well, basically, Idid a little fringe that they
do. They do this thing calledfringe encore series. And they
(26:13):
have like 20 shows that the guyspick from around the world and,
and I was lucky enough to likeget best show. So the prize for
that was you get an extendedrun. So that's what we're doing
in October. But yeah, it's alovely, lovely venue. It's like
an off off Broadway venue. I'mlooking forward to that. All
right, wellcheck that out. I am going to
excuse myself from this episode.
(26:35):
I think everyone else is as wellwhich back your chairs. We are
going to push back our chairsand we will see you next time at
the comedy roundtable for maybeJamie and Adam. Come visit us at
the punch line comedy club inAtlanta, Georgia or see our
comedians live on a stage nearyou. See you next time.
Ladies and gentleman comedy roundtable coming up on
this episode,did he try and get you to do it
when you're a kid, and then shewas there and then cover your
face and it's blood, you cried,and you're like this isn't for
me, I think Biden would have tohave a club or some kind of
knife or something,you're happy to hunt by the side
of a road or in a parking lot,because you just don't want to
(00:24):
do any cardio.
As you can see, by my size, Iavoid cardio at all.
We have saved a chair for youour listener and we've also
saved a chair here at theroundtable for our guest this
evening. ILO McKay, but normallywe are recording at the punch
line comedy club in Atlanta,Georgia. But we are doing this
(00:45):
off site in our regular studiobecause our guest is joining us
today from a different timezone. Welcome to the show. Milo.
Thank you for having me, Jamie.
Number one.
I want to jump in right thereand argue for the number one
spot. I don't know how I endedup number two.
It's simply by the timing of thevoice he's giving Jamie because
(01:05):
he was the first wasintroduced first. Appreciate you
joining us today how things beengoing pretty well.
Yeah, good, busy, hectic, nocomplaints that no one wants to
hear just just complaints aboutbeing busy and tired and all
that. Else. You're touring allaround the UK right now.
I'm touring around the UK. I'mabout to go to Australia for two
(01:26):
months. And I'm bringing myfamily with me. So we've got two
daughters nine and six. And wegot them off school, because we
argued fairly accurately I thinkthat it would be a formative
experience for those two to goaround the schools. The schools
were like Yeah, sounds great.
Bring them so we're gonna go ona family holiday for two months.
Wow. For holiday for them iswork for me because I'm doing
(01:47):
like old comedy festivals. Butyeah, it's playing about.
Alright, so our format here oncomedy round table is we ask
lightning round style questions.
Oh, shit ready? Yes. All right,let's go on right up your alley?
Milea. Don't you worry. Allright, we are I will tell you
all three of the topics, youonly choose them one at a time.
(02:09):
One of them does not get used.
All right. Okay. All right, yourchoices for this episode, our
mystery box, fight or flight orout of ink. I'm gonna go fight
or flight fight or flight.
Alright, excellent choicestarting with Adam.
(02:30):
So we've had discussions on onearlier podcasts about what
would be the best skill to havein an apocalypse, right? The
best would it be to be an armsguy would it be to be a you
know, the guy who can farm theguy who, and we've come to the
agreement that being charmingwould be an incredibly good
skill.
But the word Machiavellianpopped in my head, right? If you
(02:55):
don't have to do anything, youjust have to be able to convince
people to give you their shit,basically, right? Point. Because
as every Apocalypse series andshow, nobody trusts each other.
So you just got to jump overthat hurdle. And then you can
become whatever you need to bethis character though. Troy
Hawk, who is a very charmingindividual, but every once in a
(03:15):
while comes up against peoplethat are asking him to leave or
asking him, you know, kind ofget into an argument with you.
Why does charming not work inall situations?
So what you're referring to iswhen I do the videos, and
basically I'm able to deploy mycharm to passers by, and it's
fine, I can give them acompliment, they always take it,
(03:38):
I've been hit, and one of themanagers come out, yeah, and I
represent a set of variablesthat they haven't encountered
before. So that immediately putsthem on the back foot. And they
immediately it's a kind of aninherent xenophobia. I don't
understand what this is. Sotherefore, it must be a threat.
(04:01):
And I have to remove itimmediately. The only time it
hasn't happened was in Denmarkwhen a shop manager came out and
said, What are you doing? And Isaid, I'm greeting people and he
said, Okay, so you know, nobodyis the only store manager that's
that's applied logic. They comeout they don't know what's going
(04:22):
on. They just go straight. Thisis a threat that has to be
removed instantly.
So is the apocalypse ishappening is the first thing you
do to go get the smoking jacket.
Here's here's the thing, I amthe worst liar ever. Like I'm
very good. You see that like thetraitors show? You're like, well
for mafia wherever. I am a greatvillager. I'm a great I can't
(04:47):
like shit. So I if I werebasically my transferable
skills, what are they? I mean,I'd have to approach a
community. And I'd have to say,look, I don't know what this is
worth, but cuz I've got a tightcomedy our, everything kind of
fits and ties in. And I can juststand on that bench and do it in
(05:11):
front of all of these toppingangry people.
So you're gonna be the courtjester?
I believe it is in bread. Yeah,that'd be perfect. I think
they're gonna say, you know,we're full of prepper assholes
in here. And we actually needsomebody that we would like to
spend time with.
Right? So you said that you area terrible liar, though, does
that mean that in all of yourvideos, every compliment you
(05:32):
make you believe true to thecore
on mean it, I mean, it all likewhat I'll do when I'm being
Troy, I'll try and put 100% ofmy attention on to whoever
happens to be coming up, orwhoever I'm locked in on. And
I'll look at everything. AndI'll just try and put everything
on them. It's actually quitetiring. And then I'll try and
(05:52):
sort of pull something out ofwhat I'm seeing and throw it
back at them.
Right? Because that would beimportant for people. Because if
I have a comedian give me acompliment. My first thing I'm
thinking is, are they mocking meright? orgasm, right?
Here's the thing, Jamie, astroke to stroke B. Nobody
knows. I'm a comedian. Even thepeople that come to my live
(06:14):
shows, the vast majority ofthem. Do not know that. I'm a
comedian. They just think I'mthe greatest guy. They don't
know. I've got like 15 years ofcomedy experience under my belt,
which which in a way is a goodthing, because the bar at my
tour show they come in. And if Iliterally greeted these people
for an hour, I think I'd belike, Well, yeah, what do we
expect?
Do you agree people at the doorfor your show?
(06:35):
I sometimes, but some of thevenues are getting too big now
and I can't Alright, Jamie,fight
or flight. Tell us about a timein your life when your fight or
flight response got it terriblywrong.
Oh, gosh, loads. So I remember.
I was a university and I was atuniversity in the 90s. And it
was lad culture. So everybodyreally prides themselves on if
(06:57):
not being tough presenting akind of a Laddie toughness, for
example, and we were walkingback and I went to university
and Liverpool. And some ladsstarted like it was a group of
us about three or four. Somelads stage shouting at us, there
was a bit of anti studentfeeling at the time. And I think
(07:18):
I shouted something funny back,this guy sort of stepped across
the road to come at me. And Ijust, I just fucking dusted I
was I was heels and smoke. Andyou think, yeah, fair enough,
but not in the culture. I was atuniversity because then you get
a name for yourself. And you'rethat guy that cut and ran away.
(07:40):
And these guys didn't doanything. They came up and they
sort of fronted up to my friendsand my friends fronted up back
to them, and nothing was evergonna happen. But in my mind,
all those alarm bells went off.
And I was like, and I justdusted I absolutely got out of
there. And my name was mudat uni, but you didn't make the
track and field team, right?
(08:02):
Yeah.
And that's why I started goingto boxing because I was like, I
can't can't have this happenagain. Yeah, I can't. It's just
a pathetic male ego thing.
I do think, though, that in anygood fight, the cutting runner
is an important position. Like,I wish I had a guy like you
again. Can you take our stuffand go, we'll meet you back at
(08:24):
the house. And then we willwe'll stay here. But we'd like
to know that our phones and ourkeys are in our wallets are all
taken care of.
I remember another time where ithappened. I was a bit drunk. So
I was a bit braver and I think Ihad all this suppressed rage
from all of my previous runningaway from these things. And I
pretended that I was fromGlasgow, and there's something
(08:46):
inherently terrifying about theGlaswegian accent. Now the risky
thing was that this guy was alsoScottish. So it was a really
high risk strategy, but I gotaway with it is like, I can't
remember what he said to me. Ithink something about me being
gay, and I was like, who youcall and gay, Paul. He called me
good. Where are you fit? I'menvious anyway. Oh, shorty, I
(09:09):
don't know is there I know,blah, blah, blah. And I was just
I was very high risk. But I waslike, alright, that works. Just
fine. I guess. What would be theequivalent accent in the states
that would make people go oh,Detroit.
Yeah. Or New York like aBrooklyn Right? Like Brooklyn. A
(09:31):
hard Brooklyn accent?
Detroit soundswe're gonna problem here. You
stupid milk. We're gonna we'regonna throw down. This is what's
gonna happen. You and me. We'regonna do this.
Yeah. All right. So fight andflight is the famous phrase, but
the other famous fighter pairingis love. Yeah, I'm a lover or a
(09:51):
fighter. So this is kind of atwo part question. The first is,
does it mean that all lovers arefighters.
Not because fight or flight it'slike an innate lizard response.
It's like a lizard brain thing.
It's just what loveror fighter is a choice? Yeah.
Okay, when with lover you may bedisrobed. So love might be
(10:11):
naked. suppose for the sake ofargument that fighters were
naked, yeah. Would you fight anaroused fighter?
Am I Jamie, number one for younow?
Yeah. Let's go back to Jamie.
Oh, just saying I think in afight or flight response, I
would run from the guy whowanted to have a fight and was
(10:33):
aroused while doing it.
That was such a tenuous segue.
I have a big question. Let's goto heavy question. I have a big
question.
No, no, no, no, no, let's staywith whatever strands of logic
were there? Would I fightsomeone who was aroused?
(10:53):
Somebody says I'm a lover or afighter. Right? It implies that
you're one or the only what I'msaying is, I love fighting, I
would want to avoid the person.
Because I think evolutionarilyit describes you can either be
only one or the other. You canlove or you can fight. Right?
And that your body isn't builtto do both at the same time. Is
your thinking always this blackand white?
(11:17):
Oh, it's always this gray,actually may end the fight not
because you want to avoid it.
But because that's a form offlattery. And then you realize
that maybe you you aren't as No,I would think enemies is
about to engage with an anomalyof evolution. Yeah, this guy who
loved fighting No, no, the factthat was able to do both at the
same time, because normallypeople don't think like, oh, I'm
(11:40):
about to be in a fistfight. Thisis kind of turning me on.
Oh, let me let me try and pullsomething out. There's Yeah, so
one thing I will say is that, Idon't know if you you know, but
as soon as you had a fight withsomeone in primary school, the
only way you could get you endedup best friends with them.
(12:00):
Right? I don't remember this,because you've seen each other
at your most primal. Sosomeone's like, you've got
nowhere else to go. But befriends, you, you can't really
have pretense or small talk whenyou've been rolling around on
the floor with someone tryingto, you know, scratch their eyes
out or whatever. We're talkingabout evolutionary anomalies.
(12:22):
And also, as soon as you foughtwith your partner, when you make
up, it's just like,but the days are separated.
That's what I'm saying is theactivities aren't existing in
the same space, the fight spaceis distinct from the love space.
You think, because I think youfight harder with the people
that you love. I think yourfamily and your closest people
(12:43):
have access to that big redbutton, they know exactly the
right thing to set you off, turnyou into the worst version of
yourself.
I've always thought that like ina bar fight. One of the scariest
things would be if the personkind of leaned in and said, I'm
so gonna love this, right?
That would be like going all inlike, like that would be if that
(13:07):
were a bluff. That would be atremendous bluff.
Yeah. To be like, I'm going tolove this I enjoy this so much.
This is by ng Ah.
Okay, so I'm trying to salvageso in a pairing, right,
opposites attract, but in arelationship lovers and fighters
(13:28):
seem like a poor match.
Okay? Well, my thoughts on thatis like, when you're in a
relationship you've got, you'vegot to fight, argue, because you
gotta, you gotta like, work outwhere each other's boundaries
are. And if you've got someonewho's running away from every
situation, or conflict, they'renever going to set their
boundaries. And they might nothave an argument. But then five
(13:48):
years later, they just split upbecause of a lack of, you know,
authentic communication. Solike, when I got together with
my wife, she'd never had anargument with the boyfriend. And
I'm very sort of, you know,let's get this out on the table
and process it. So it was a bitjarring for her at first, but
now we're at the point where we,we will have like an argument
heated discussion, but at theend of it, we'll kind of resolve
(14:12):
what the issue was, or we'll,we'll get to the nub of it. And
so you have to have thosearguments is my opinion.
Let's lock out this firstsegment here on the comedy round
table with our guests. MiloMcCabe we'll be back with more
right after this.
Do we have any teachers hit?
You, you get impostor syndromewhere Daniel costs you to your
teacher, good lord, every dayyou have to go in mindful of the
(14:35):
fact that one wrong word, onewrong foot, you could say
something to one of thosegentle, malleable minds that
could psychologically damagedthem for the rest and not only
damage them damage, their senseof self damage all of their
future relationships. Just onetiny thing you could say to
spiral them off into a psychicvortex of negativity. You have
(14:57):
to be on point every day and Iimagine the worry about that
keeps you awake some nightswould that be accurate
the reason that you haveimpostor syndrome is because
you're good at your job. Do youunderstand that? The fact that
you're analyzing and questioningyourself makes you good at what
(15:19):
you do to do was not good attheir jobs. People leave work
every day. Smash the grin out ofthat one. Not go to their jobs,
but they do end up running thecountry. You've got a trolley
Can I direct it this way intoPrisma? I know are symbols of
triangles. But I can assure youwe have nothing to do with the
(15:40):
Illuminati. Or Palo. They're funshopping or functional shopping.
School. I love you harder.
You're coming into Prisma Oh,wonderful. Not put off by the
triangles. Good for you can areall coming in. Fabulous. You
have a wonderful color scheme,sir. You are the finished Larry
(16:01):
David. And we are delighted tohave you in this store. Not many
people can pull off doubledenim. But you are smashing it.
You're the Marlboro Man afterhe's given up. I love it. I told
you you had a wonderful colorscheme. So does he and you both
match each other? What uh, ofcourse, I hope you have a lovely
day. Thank you very much. Soyou've got me out of my head.
(16:24):
Oh, there's wonderful sometimesyes, I'll say the thinker's with
our washing machine brains.
Welcome to plasma, we sometimesneed a moment to remind
ourselves. So the rewards ofbeing in the present. Welcome to
prisoners. Grab your trolley,get in there and smash it. Yeah,
of course. Thank you very much.
I think you might be on it.
(16:51):
Alright, second segment here ofthe comedy roundtable. Our guest
this episode is Milo McCabe, wehad a segment that I wanted to
take flight from from theawkwardness of question. And
which one of the seven questionsit was, I was I was fighting my
way out until I decided it wastime to take flight. Stop. Good.
(17:14):
All right. Your remaining topicsfor this episode are either
Mystery Box or out of ink.
Well, I mean, to be honest, outof anchors is essentially a
mystery box anyway. Right. SoI'm just gonna go for Mystery
BoxMystery Box starting with Adam.
(17:36):
Okay, so my Mystery Box is iswho do you think would win in a
fight? And I'm taking your PrimeMinister Sunak. And Joe Biden,
who wins in that fight? Oh,I've seen that Joe Biden is the
oldest fireclay hours. Yeah.
Unless there's, I mean, I feellike with Biden versus Senate
that have to be sort ofconditional elements to sort of
(17:57):
even up a little bit like, Ithink Biden would have to have a
club or some kind of knife orsomething. Like come on. How old
is Biden?
Oh, he's a million. Like he'sgot two years old. Yeah,
where she is? I don't know. Iwouldn't. You wouldn't
automatically look like he's gotfighting experience, but he
definitely looks like a youngman. And he's got a job.
(18:21):
What if Joe Biden leans in andsays I am so gonna enjoy it?
Yeah, Joe Biden says, Thank you.
It's, like, so cute. Hey, man,I'm still gonna beat the shit
out.
Yeah, exactly. I don't I don'tthink that you see if you hear
if you're about to have a fightwith a dude in his 80s. And you
hear I'm so going to enjoy this.
You start thinking you're partof some assisted suicide thing.
(18:41):
You're like, Oh, God. This guy.
This guy wants it the end now.
You can be as tall. Naked. Hi.
Don's. staring at each otherkills them. Yeah,
it's just yeah, I'll bring backa logical link to your question.
(19:02):
I appreciate that. My love.
Thank you the geopolitics comeinto that it did. And I want to
just get a little side note inhere that I went to college in
Washington, DC. And inWashington, you see one of the
worst places to park in theentire world. And you could
always find parking at theTibetan embassy because the
Buddhist would never do anythingyou like you could always Park
(19:24):
in their reserve spots, and theBuddhists would just let it
roll. Isn't that a bad use ofyour karma though?
It's probably is and I probablystill paying for
that. I don't want to contributeto your anxiety. But knowing
your life story, you probablyhaven't paid for that yet. Like
it's like I think it'samazing how difficult it is
spending time with you.
(19:48):
All right, Jamie mystery box.
All right, if you were to openup the greeters guild membership
to other members of the animalkingdom. Yeah, Which animal do
you think would make the bestreader. Oh 1,000%
a qualquer qualquera qualquer qu? O double k? So
qualquer zoo these animals inAustralia? I think I met I met
(20:11):
some in Perth, right? I don'tknow if they're just Perth, but
they're on Australia. So theseclockers I don't quite even know
what they are they're like thesekind of gerbil things they run
around this island right? CalledRottnest I think it's got. And
soon as they see you thesepockets, they just think you're
(20:34):
a big qualquer like they justrun up to you, they'll eat out
your hand, you can pet them, youcould stroke them that friendly
is how I think that only inAustralia though I as far as I'm
aware, but look them up becausethese are the most adorable,
innately friendly animals ever.
(20:55):
Which is weird because theirname sounds like an insult.
cuaca your Cauca Yeah, it does.
Actually it does. But it's avery on the nose answer but
with Australia like that theyhave an animal that is actually
evolutionary so messed up thatit comes towards the thing that
probably should fear most aqualquer they still about so
(21:15):
like, people haven't gotten ridof the walkers? Yeah.
So like, people were just like,these guys are cool. So they're
like, Oh, well, people are cool,too. So everyone's just hanging
out.
Not to go full circle here. Butcharming. The Kwok charming. And
that's how they survive. Right?
On the charm.
100%. Yeah.
All right. I do have a follow upquestion. You're interviewing
(21:37):
new members for the greetersguild?
What is one animal human human?
Human? Excellent question. Thatwas a good clarification. Yeah.
What is one question you mustask in each interview to vet out
charlatans?
Is it possible to be a lover anda fighter at the same time?
That's the That's the realquestion. That's a good point.
(21:58):
Yeah, the callbacks are amazing.
Thisquestion would be, I guess, is I
would say, I mean, once thequestions of the mouth, I just
put them right on the spot. AndI'd go right, compliment me now.
Got up. Who cares? Cuz like whenI'm doing this thing I have to
react. And so I'd be like, I'dsee how they got on with that.
(22:24):
Computers always have one readyto go. Yeah, the good
one. Great. I actually went toNew York. And I actually met
some because we don't havegreeters here really, in the UK.
But that's why I'm such ananomaly. But But like, when I, I
went to New York, I think I wentto a CVS. And it was a great
job. And it was a couple ofdifferent ones. I went to the
(22:46):
same CVS. And I don't know,there wasn't like a high level
of enthusiasm or excitement atmy presence in the store I have.
There's definitely a level ofgreeting is you could still take
a lot from The Guild.
Yeah, like great is the I'veseen they technically group.
It's like the bare minimum ofhuman interaction to like
(23:08):
fulfill the job. They say, Hey,how you doing? That is
alright, mystery box. It is atrend slash fad that you can
sign up for a service that willsend you a mystery box. It's a
it's a clothing service, you geta mystery box of clothes, or a
mystery box of something. Isthere a business or product for
(23:32):
which you would never subscribeto their monthly mystery box?
Probably the Conservativegovernment. Probably like the
Tories, like I would hate to seewhat you'd get in a Tory mystery
(23:53):
box.
Perhaps their mystery box wouldbe empty. And then you would
have to put things in it to sendit back
to the idea of that conservativebox. Yeah, that would be
interesting. In the UnitedStates. That would be a gun, a
Bible. A flag would be what youwould get. Yeah, you'd give you
every year. Last month's box.
Yeah. They throw that to youevery month and just saying you
(24:16):
got to have more guns. You gotto have more Bibles. And you got
to have more flag. I don't haveany issues with people who have
guns or having guns. I grew upin a house with lots of guns,
but they were all huntingrifles, right like my father was
a hunter. I don't hunt. I don'treally think that somebody's
going to break into maybe tryand get you to do it when you're
a kid and then shoot a deer andthen cover your face and it's
(24:38):
blood and you cry and and you'relike this isn't for me.
I wish it was a story like Iwish it was that it was more
about the fact that the idea ofwalking into the woods for a
long time taking down a buck andthen dragging that animal all
the way back seemed absolutelymiserable to me like the I
(24:59):
with you is more logical thanemotional? Yeah, I think so
you're happy to hunt by the sideof a road or in a parking lot, I
guess, because I would don'twant to do any cardio.
As you can see, by my size, Iavoid cardio at all costs.
Is it possible that we couldreschedule this episode at the
time it was originally scheduledfor and I can be late? Yeah,
we'll justdo and some of your materials
have been a little off today,but that's okay.
(25:26):
When this ultimately airs mylife it turns out, I thought
there were three people yeah,there's only a limited out of
this episode completely.
Alright. So online, peopleshould follow you to purchase
tickets to your live shows orsee your other content where?
Absolutely, so I, Troy hook onall late platforms, tick tock,
(25:50):
Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, allof that. And then I'm touring
the UK, Australia. And then I'min New York again in October for
a couple of weeks. I'm at theSoho House in New York for a
couple of weeks. Sowhere are you got gigs in the
city? Well, basically, Idid a little fringe that they
do. They do this thing calledfringe encore series. And they
(26:13):
have like 20 shows that the guyspick from around the world and,
and I was lucky enough to likeget best show. So the prize for
that was you get an extendedrun. So that's what we're doing
in October. But yeah, it's alovely, lovely venue. It's like
an off off Broadway venue. I'mlooking forward to that. All
right, wellcheck that out. I am going to
excuse myself from this episode.
(26:35):
I think everyone else is as wellwhich back your chairs. We are
going to push back our chairsand we will see you next time at
the comedy roundtable for maybeJamie and Adam. Come visit us at
the punch line comedy club inAtlanta, Georgia or see our
comedians live on a stage nearyou. See you next time.
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