July 31, 2023 • 24 mins
Meet Ri, he's 37 years old from Melbourne and spent 16 years working as a hairdresser, so It's not surprising that his hair IMMACULATE, and one of the first things he gets recognised for.
What is surprising about Ri, is that he's concealing something very unusual which has to do with his habit for cursing, love for nature, and being around fires...
Check it out on the socials:
Instagram: instagram.com/concealedwithartsimone/
Tik Tok: tiktok.com/@concealedwithartsimone
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Imagine if the world was just full of people who
get up in the morning, put on some atrociously bland outfit,
then sit in a windowless office and send some emails
about nothing important to then come back to their tragically
bland home to eat their meat and three vegemed inner,
chat to their partner about taxes or the inflation rate,
then go to bed at a reasonable hour, then get
(00:29):
up back again and do the same thing over and
over and over again.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Makes me sick. Well, we don't have any of that here.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Instead, we're shaging the people who seem normal but anything,
but they lead interesting, colorful, and sometimes scandalous lives, even
if you don't notice it on first meat. This is
concealed with me art simone. Time to meet our guest roleders.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Heay please, Hi, I'm right, I live. I am thirty
seven years old. I have been a hairdresser, m vidy
therapist for sixteen years. Are in three heir and vity salons,
Love a good movie and a good night corking at home?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Short and sweet. Haha, Hello, right, how are you good?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I'm doing really well? Actually, thank you, thanks for asking.
So your hair's justsa yes, so you're still hairdressing.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
No, no, that's where you've got to figure out.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Oh, okay, so you've gone from hair dressing into something else. Yep, okay,
what do you not like about hairdressing?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Hair? Because that would be really hard, you know, imagine
if you like.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
I love the entire thing. I just find that it
was my time to move on and do something else.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Said it was my time to go. Yes, you know
it's time to go, right, said Gretel. Colleen shows you
how I saw like a faux hawk. We've got a
fai hawk, a fox hawk. That's good.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
But you look you look like you're like smart, casual corporateer.
You know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I've never worked in office because you work in an
office in this I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Do you have to have a tie these days? I
don't know. You have a shirt on? I'll say you
can a shirt on?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And then as to show me the watch. Oh, it's
like is a gucky good Year Oh nummies? All right,
we've got a gucky watch. Rich Okay, is it real
or fake?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
It is real?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Rich? Rich?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, rise rich former hairdresser Okay, fauxhort are asking you
three questions and from the answer to those three questions,
I'm gonna try and work out what you were concealing
from me, and when I'm getting out, it's like what
you've migrated into post snipping.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Of the hair.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yep, ask away.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Okay, first question, what is your worst habit?
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I don't think this is my worst habit, but people
would say that I curse a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh it's not bad.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Probably you're in a fucking safe space for that today,
your little bitch, I love it. Okay, yeah, cussing. Probably
can't do that when you're cutting the hair though. No,
all right, well if people say that is your worst habit,
But what do you think your worst habit is?
Speaker 3 (03:07):
When I get very very busy, I forget certain things. Yes,
so it could be something like something cooking on the oven,
or it could be that is quite serious.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, fire has it and running that down.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
But let's stay here with the curse, all right, right,
Richie rich hairdress to form my historys a swearing fire breather.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Okay, got that. Question.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Number two, If you could time travel to a time
and place, where would you go?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Hands down, I would probably go back to medieval times.
I love the idea of having like no built ups
of burbia, being able to go and run through forests
and just see nature.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I just want to let you know you don't have
to go back in time to medieval times to escape
from suburbia.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Yeah, there's always people there, just.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Kind of like the bush love, it's all right, Okay,
medieval times, what specifically time was medieval in the date range?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
You know, I don't know. I don't know, before.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Teens or fourteen hundred. Get myself a sword, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, so sword legality is a big thing for you. Okay, yes,
this is random. Okay, I'm gonna work it out.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Question number three, where are you most likely to be
at a party with the sword.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
When I first get there?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
No, not the sword. I can't bring a sword to
a party.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
When I first get there, I'll be looking around for
a bowl of salt and vinegar chips, because, alright, a
lover's pack.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
As I get into the party, I do like a
good bonfire, staying nice and warm.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Parties you're going to in the bush, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
The medieval bush parties, but they still have salt vinegar
chips with swords.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, okay, yes, it all it's a big picture.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Well, I'm definitely seeing a picture. Is it the right
picture to know? Okay, let's recap, right. Former head dresser
Richie rich Gucci watch. Likes to swear a lot, can
leave things on the stove forgetful fire hazards okay, likes
medieval old things in the thirteen slash fourteens, like swords, Me.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Too, mane. And if you're at a party, be.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Floating around the salt and vega chips and then migrating
to the bottom fire.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
All right, what am I picking up? I need to
pick up? Okay?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
What the fuck? Okay, close your eyes process, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Mean I can't see out of these lashes anyway, so
my eyes are basically closed. St vinegar chips. Why are
you telling me that salt mina chips vinegar?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Oh? Bitter?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I don't know, I'm rude. Maybe you're rude? Oh swearing?
Rude swearing? Okay, fire fires are angry. I'm getting a
lot of angry vibes here. I'm drawing a picture. Come on,
think I'm a lot of like, you know, good because
no one nice like salted media chips.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
They're all mean. So do you yell at people for
a living. I would love to yell at people for
a living.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
You like you're like, ah, you're off, well, a professional insulter,
That's what I think you are, a professional insulter.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I am a witch. I own a witchcraft store. I've
been practicing witchcraft for twenty four years and I'm also
initiated into Haitian too. Do my day to day working
lines looks like waking up providing offerings to the different
spirits that I work with in servis at the store,
we provide a whole range of services like tarror reading workshops,
(06:50):
comsultations and spell work, as well as which he items
for people to use.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
In spell work. Why are we talking about stolen media.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Chips because it's delicious.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
There is a red hering.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
There was a red herring. Do you want to go
to medieval time? You're gonna be burnt at the steak,
your stupid bitch.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Come on, no one's going to know. So ray is
it a professional insult? And now he is a witch?
Has he cast it a spell on me?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Now? Is that how he arrived? The smoke behind me
at the moment? Did he cast it? Is that from him?
Is there a caldron here?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Recipes. I could do some soup, all right, So we're
here with Ray. He is not a professional insulter. No,
you are a witch, I am. You're a witchy bitch.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I like the biggest witch bitch of all.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Oh my god, this stupor hairdressing to witchy time. Let's
go back.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Can you explain what a witch is? Because at the moment,
people are picturing a myriad of things of what a
witch could be. It could be you know, the West
Little Green bitch. You know, you know, Wicked, the movie
there for me. At the moment, they might be thinking
of Ariana Grande. You could be Ariana Grande. We never
know what's a witch?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Tell me it is all of the above. I think
the is a witch.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You've heard it here first confirmed.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
It does depend on who you ask. The meaning will
change for me, which is somebody who lives outside of
social norms, somebody who does practice a form of magic,
which is witchcraft. Somebody who lives sort of on the edge,
fights for injustice and appropriation, everything like that.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So how do you become a witch?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Then I can relate to a bunch of things you said,
except for the bit where you said doing actual spells
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So how do you go from like, you.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Know, I've been a little bit left of center and
then going alak exam ala kazoo, I don't.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Like you do be do well?
Speaker 3 (08:56):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I done it. That was just someone I didn't like.
I was thinking of them.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
I think for everybody it's different. For me, it was
for like, I became a witch when I had an
introduction to witchcraft. I've always loved, like growing up history
and watching documentaries about Egypt and about pyramids and about mythology,
and it kind of went from there from loving that
to loving fantasy TV shows and movies and then reading
(09:27):
a few books and boom.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Well, what I've learned from this podcast is if you
want to do something, just go and do it.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
You got to read it.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You've got to read it.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
There's actually a lot of books that have been read.
A lot of these guests that I've had, they're like,
I read a book. We need to be sponsored by
book Topia, okay, because we could actually have a compendium
that goes with this and recommended books for people that
want to get into all the things rather they do actually,
So so you just kind of decide to be what essentially.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Is the way you A lot of people do have
a calling to that, to becoming a witch or having
a magical practice in some way or form. I think
under the umbrella of witchcraft, there are so many different
spiritual paths and practices and magical traditions that some people
accord to particular areas.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
So yours is to do Asian. I'm really smart Haitio.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Yes, yes, thinks.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
What's the difference between like that and witchcraft? Or is
it kind of the same umbrella?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
So I was in a sheditation Voodoo compared to my
witchcraft practice very very different culturally even cosmology, So how
spirits came about or how they would do different ceremonies
and rituals are very very different obviously, like cultural context
as well. So one being in Haiti drawn from the
slave trade compared to Europe who have had relatively not
(10:50):
many issues besides fighting amongst each other.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Mm hmmm, grumby bitches. Yes, well okay, So is zoo
do like what we see in the movie? You know?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Do you want it to be like what you've see
in the movie.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I don't know. I want to know, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
It is from like when we say voodoo A lot
of people do naturally think of, like American horror story
coven that that was my favorite one. It's good. I'm
going to probably say that it is ninety nine point
nine percent inaccurate.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
You see on TV we miss here today.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yes, for me, voodoo is about that's in there somewhere.
I got stopped witchcraft as well, Oh stop it. The
voodoo is for for me is the family. It's about community,
and it's about love, not stabbing dolls or anything like that.
Not saying that you can't.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I mean, I don't want to reveal this, but I will.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I have a few voodoo dolls, but not in the
fact that anyone's actually like, I don't know, put any
like spells on them. But my grandmother used to make
me vooded of people that I didn't like and no joke,
and she would make them when I was like in school.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
How big is a collection?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Oh, we've got give me figures.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
There's only three because there was two that she made,
and then my mum carried on the tradition when she
passed away and made me another one back to the
one that my grandmother made. Her one was made out
of like old stockings. She nicknamed the guy that was
mean to me smarty pants, so she put little smarties
all over his pants and then I would stab him.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Sure, your grandmother wasn't a witch.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, she definitely was a bitch.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
So's the same family.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
That's what she used to do.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Because I'm not really good at farting, and I'm not
really good at like being aggressive towards other people. So
this is a nice passive way dab him in the dick.
Oh should do the knees. Oh my god, you got
a bag? Oh my god, job a vooty doll? This
is oh my god.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
So you've just handed me this voodoo doll? What's inside
of it? Because I can feel some things.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
So with that particular one, it is filled with rose
and a few other herbs. Who it is for love.
So with the.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Dolls, I wish you could smell this, But as I
smell this, you should do. It's nots lovely good.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
But with the with the poppets, they are so yeah,
that's what they call like the real name for them.
If it wasn't for movies and TV shows, the voodoo
doll wouldn't be technically a thing. But the poppet is
supposed to represent somebody and what you do to that
will then affect that person in life.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
How do you make that happen though? How do do
the connection?
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Lots of processes, but the idea is that, like historically
they were used a lot for like for fertility and
for love and for protection, blessings and obviously if you're
itbitu hate somebody you can stab and throw in a fire.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Believing karma you know you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Well, that one is for you, of you of me? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Oh, so you do voodoo and you mentioned spells, Like
what spells the work successfully.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
For you depends on what you want to do. Like
I've done like plenty of spells as a teenager. I
remember the very first one that actually worked. The next
day got the result. I was like, oh fuck, so
that kind of inspired me to continue. That was a
kiss spell, So I got kissed when I was younger.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
But do you sometimes think that it's also just you've
done that spell so in your brain you're kind of
like putting that out into the world to happen, so
you're more receptive for it to happen, or as also
all the process, you know, all of the because if
I did a spell and I was like, I really
want to get kissed tomorrow, I think I do it,
and then the next day I'd be like walking around
with my lips powdered, getting really close different spaces, expectantly.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Hello, and then it would happen potentially.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
The other thing I'm thinking of is we've been through
film and television like there's dark and light, magic, black
and white.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Is that a thing? You know? A good witch? Bad witch?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
I same as like the doll, Like I look at
it as everybody has their own their own intentions about
the intention of the person, rather than like you could
do a poppet to harm somebody, and if that person
is doing harm to a partner or to children, then
is that considered something evil?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
True?
Speaker 3 (15:25):
But if I'm doing say.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
At serial killers who kill bad people, it's like dexter
and they go, am I actually a bad guy because
I'm just killing bad guys?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
So are you a bad witch?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
If you're just giving people what they deserve, I or
in order it's for you.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
I think people need to be wise enough to know
that they're not judged or an executioner. I think there
are times when people do deserve certain things, and then
there are times when I need to take a step
back and say I'm not going to do that, or no,
that person doesn't deserve that because whatever other factors there are.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Now I had to ask, you know, witchy voodoo, is
anything spooky scary happened?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
I want to know, have you tried a Oiji board before? No?
Why not? You haven't lived until you've tried solving your
chips and then a Ouiji boy, I want to.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Do it by myself.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
You know, I don't feel like it's a thing to
do with someone, but you have to trust them that
they're not like playing with it, you know what I mean,
they're going, oh, yes. Actually, the best way to test
if someone was like messing with you would be to
do a Wiji board with a dyslexic person, because if
they're like spelling the words wrong, then okay.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Scary story guy.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I was probably about twenty one twenty two doing Ouiji
board with about four or five other people. We were
a bit intoxicated, so it wasn't one hundred percent like.
We went on board, started making fun of some of
the spirits coming through, and then all of a sudden
there was a massive thump under the table the coffee
table like kind of like jumped from the hit. And
(16:56):
then one of the girls grabbed one of the knives
and started hacking into her arms. So we had to
like jump on her to stop her doing that, and
she woke up and going what the hell you doing
on me? Didn't realize what she had done. She hacking
at you just started stabbing her arm.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, I don't like that, And you still said after that,
I'll still keep fondling in the arena.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
With Wiji boards. It is one of these things that
people either completely hate to want anything to do with,
or they love it. I think as long as they're
done correctly and finished correctly, then generally your ninety nine
percent nine percent chance, like you're fine.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Did you actually customize a Weigie board with your own
personal phrases?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Because you know there's like yes, no, maybe, and then
like all the letters, could you, like you know, save
your favorite phrases like slay.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Mama or like oker you.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
I'm going to say yes, yeah, because I don't know
how well it will work, but you'll get the answer.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Do you want I'm just trying to make it quicker,
you know, because it seems like to be a long
time this ballad word because I have my Apple TV
remote and I have to tap through every single little
keyboard thing. I hate to put my password in three
years later finally into it. Okay, if I'm doing that
with that unless they go faster. But on the TV show,
I can.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Go quite fast. Like I've had plan chets like fly
off the table, They've just gone.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
I want to talk to that spirit. That's more my type.
Do you do like ougi spells or like voodoo for
other people? Yep, okay, yeah, not voodoo I do. That's
just for myself. Okay, but witchcraft you do.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
The voodoo for you do?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
So I do do.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
But what the spell work do you do for other people?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
I get a lot of love, prosperity, and divination, so
seeing what's happening for certain situations or for future. I
do have the occasional like cleansing to do. And then
more baneful works are more like curses and xes. So
does watch out bitch.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Get back, get back, get back? Oh okay, so how
do you take on a curse? Texts like do you
case to case basis?
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:04):
If I come to you and I go Oh, you know,
I really don't like this person. Can you just go
and make sure their life is awful, needy context? You go, well,
tell me why they're bad, give me the evidence.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
So normally we do well, I do a consultation and
go through ask all these questions. A lot of people
who do want spell work and doesn't matter what it
is getting it through some sort of like emotion. So
either they've had their X break up with them and
now they want them back and they're not right in
the space, messed with that right, you know, depends on
how you do it, or sometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I count like a little bit like a counseling session
for someone because I feel like if I was really
upset about a situation and I felt like I was
being proactive and went to someone like you, maybe whether
you did something or didn't like didn't end up like
taking me on, it would just make me feel like
I've been proactive.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
With love, I normally don't do it for specific people.
It's more for like quality tears of a partner that
they want and that way they're not falling into the
same potentially like toxic relationship over and over again, all
the same habits and same issues up potions yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Like like potions? Potions? Yeah, what do you do with them?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Sometimes when we make things, it can just be like
an oil, so you apply to yourself. I have made
things to go in food before for.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
The person for them to sneak into something. And should
we were exposing you right now, not.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
A roofy like like we're real stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Can you're actually just a meth dealer and we had
no idea?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Like you brought it a mets dealer again the second time.
You gotta stop with I just mix up some potions.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Just take this with water, you'll be bad.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Okay, So some things you can consume.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Sometimes it's tea, sometimes it's something to put in your
mop worter, heaps of stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah yeah, So then what is the deciding factor? You'd
be like, yeah, I'll do it. No way.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Sometimes it may be like not now, I can do it,
but not now, like you need to go through and
this process something first, or I need you to give
it a little bit first before they can they're in
the right mind frame to be able to have it done.
Sometimes I say yes and I find myself running through
the forest midnight, freeze my ass off. Trying to do stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Are you just had a beat? I don't know. I'm
doing consensual babe.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I'm just going out to different spells. Don't wait up.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
You'll find me by the big bush.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
But I'll be following through the bushes looking for the row. Okay.
And is there a team of you?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
I have five staff.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah. And do they all do the same thing? Oh,
you've got specially.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Is it kind of like the spice skills where you
all have a thing that you're good at the other way,
I think that would love to be the spy skills,
but we're not cool enough to.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Use by skills. Spices in potions, don't you?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah? And herbs?
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Oh maybe you could be that after everything we've learned. Hypothetically,
let me pretend to be a client. Okay if over
the past year, you know, I may have had some
certain person latantly rip off one of my routines that
(22:23):
I do and that I personally created and using a
special show mix that's actually mine that I got customized
and commissioned, and I wanted to put a hex on them?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
How would I do it? And like, could we do
it today?
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But hypothetically, maybe hypothetically you could do lots of things.
What sort of personality is this hypothetical.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Person hypothetically dickhead who has no original ideas ever in
their life and likes to copy everything I do.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
And it's really ugly hypothetically.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
So so if you do want to do something, there
are quite a few things you can do. If it's
more like you could create a poppet for them and
have a representation of them so or that you would
realistically need it, like better if you have a piece
of their clothing or something of.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Them taken everything that I have? Sorry, hypothetically, do you
have their name or their birthday?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I have, yes.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
You get a photo from their Facebook or Instagram?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
I have all of those things.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
You can do something. You could tie their hands. You
could make them so they spill all the shit that
they're they are a.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Drag queen in high heels that I might see them
at a venue hypothetically.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Today, hypothetically if you push them over, was it the
spell or was that you.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I didn't mean to do it. With the spell, it
took over. I'm sorry. Ride does and yell at people
for a living?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
No, who is a witch speaking? You've been listening to
an iHeart Australia production.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
You can seal it with Simon, listen to more of
what you love on iHeart, and check us out on
the socials. Trust me, you think there's some sort of
sorcery to look this good.
Imagine if the world was just full of people who
get up in the morning, put on some atrociously bland outfit,
then sit in a windowless office and send some emails
about nothing important to then come back to their tragically
bland home to eat their meat and three vegemed inner,
chat to their partner about taxes or the inflation rate,
then go to bed at a reasonable hour, then get
(00:29):
up back again and do the same thing over and
over and over again.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Makes me sick. Well, we don't have any of that here.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
Instead, we're shaging the people who seem normal but anything,
but they lead interesting, colorful, and sometimes scandalous lives, even
if you don't notice it on first meat. This is
concealed with me art simone. Time to meet our guest roleders.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Heay please, Hi, I'm right, I live. I am thirty
seven years old. I have been a hairdresser, m vidy
therapist for sixteen years. Are in three heir and vity salons,
Love a good movie and a good night corking at home?
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Short and sweet. Haha, Hello, right, how are you good?
Speaker 3 (01:21):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I'm doing really well? Actually, thank you, thanks for asking.
So your hair's justsa yes, so you're still hairdressing.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
No, no, that's where you've got to figure out.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
Oh, okay, so you've gone from hair dressing into something else. Yep, okay,
what do you not like about hairdressing?
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Hair? Because that would be really hard, you know, imagine
if you like.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
I love the entire thing. I just find that it
was my time to move on and do something else.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Said it was my time to go. Yes, you know
it's time to go, right, said Gretel. Colleen shows you
how I saw like a faux hawk. We've got a
fai hawk, a fox hawk. That's good.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
But you look you look like you're like smart, casual corporateer.
You know, I don't.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
I've never worked in office because you work in an
office in this I don't know.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Do you have to have a tie these days? I
don't know. You have a shirt on? I'll say you
can a shirt on?
Speaker 1 (02:07):
And then as to show me the watch. Oh, it's
like is a gucky good Year Oh nummies? All right,
we've got a gucky watch. Rich Okay, is it real
or fake?
Speaker 3 (02:16):
It is real?
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Rich? Rich?
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Okay, rise rich former hairdresser Okay, fauxhort are asking you
three questions and from the answer to those three questions,
I'm gonna try and work out what you were concealing
from me, and when I'm getting out, it's like what
you've migrated into post snipping.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Of the hair.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yep, ask away.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Okay, first question, what is your worst habit?
Speaker 3 (02:43):
I don't think this is my worst habit, but people
would say that I curse a lot.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Oh it's not bad.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Probably you're in a fucking safe space for that today,
your little bitch, I love it. Okay, yeah, cussing. Probably
can't do that when you're cutting the hair though. No,
all right, well if people say that is your worst habit,
But what do you think your worst habit is?
Speaker 3 (03:07):
When I get very very busy, I forget certain things. Yes,
so it could be something like something cooking on the oven,
or it could be that is quite serious.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yeah, fire has it and running that down.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
But let's stay here with the curse, all right, right,
Richie rich hairdress to form my historys a swearing fire breather.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Okay, got that. Question.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
Number two, If you could time travel to a time
and place, where would you go?
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Hands down, I would probably go back to medieval times.
I love the idea of having like no built ups
of burbia, being able to go and run through forests
and just see nature.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
I just want to let you know you don't have
to go back in time to medieval times to escape
from suburbia.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
Yeah, there's always people there, just.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
Kind of like the bush love, it's all right, Okay,
medieval times, what specifically time was medieval in the date range?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
You know, I don't know. I don't know, before.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
Teens or fourteen hundred. Get myself a sword, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Okay, so sword legality is a big thing for you. Okay, yes,
this is random. Okay, I'm gonna work it out.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
Question number three, where are you most likely to be
at a party with the sword.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
When I first get there?
Speaker 3 (04:33):
No, not the sword. I can't bring a sword to
a party.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
When I first get there, I'll be looking around for
a bowl of salt and vinegar chips, because, alright, a
lover's pack.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
As I get into the party, I do like a
good bonfire, staying nice and warm.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Parties you're going to in the bush, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
The medieval bush parties, but they still have salt vinegar
chips with swords.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, okay, yes, it all it's a big picture.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
Well, I'm definitely seeing a picture. Is it the right
picture to know? Okay, let's recap, right. Former head dresser
Richie rich Gucci watch. Likes to swear a lot, can
leave things on the stove forgetful fire hazards okay, likes
medieval old things in the thirteen slash fourteens, like swords, Me.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Too, mane. And if you're at a party, be.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Floating around the salt and vega chips and then migrating
to the bottom fire.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
All right, what am I picking up? I need to
pick up? Okay?
Speaker 3 (05:36):
What the fuck? Okay, close your eyes process, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Mean I can't see out of these lashes anyway, so
my eyes are basically closed. St vinegar chips. Why are
you telling me that salt mina chips vinegar?
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Oh? Bitter?
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I don't know, I'm rude. Maybe you're rude? Oh swearing?
Rude swearing? Okay, fire fires are angry. I'm getting a
lot of angry vibes here. I'm drawing a picture. Come on,
think I'm a lot of like, you know, good because
no one nice like salted media chips.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
They're all mean. So do you yell at people for
a living. I would love to yell at people for
a living.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
You like you're like, ah, you're off, well, a professional insulter,
That's what I think you are, a professional insulter.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
I am a witch. I own a witchcraft store. I've
been practicing witchcraft for twenty four years and I'm also
initiated into Haitian too. Do my day to day working
lines looks like waking up providing offerings to the different
spirits that I work with in servis at the store,
we provide a whole range of services like tarror reading workshops,
(06:50):
comsultations and spell work, as well as which he items
for people to use.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
In spell work. Why are we talking about stolen media.
Speaker 3 (06:57):
Chips because it's delicious.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
There is a red hering.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
There was a red herring. Do you want to go
to medieval time? You're gonna be burnt at the steak,
your stupid bitch.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Come on, no one's going to know. So ray is
it a professional insult? And now he is a witch?
Has he cast it a spell on me?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Now? Is that how he arrived? The smoke behind me
at the moment? Did he cast it? Is that from him?
Is there a caldron here?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Recipes. I could do some soup, all right, So we're
here with Ray. He is not a professional insulter. No,
you are a witch, I am. You're a witchy bitch.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
I like the biggest witch bitch of all.
Speaker 2 (07:48):
Oh my god, this stupor hairdressing to witchy time. Let's
go back.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Can you explain what a witch is? Because at the moment,
people are picturing a myriad of things of what a
witch could be. It could be you know, the West
Little Green bitch. You know, you know, Wicked, the movie
there for me. At the moment, they might be thinking
of Ariana Grande. You could be Ariana Grande. We never
know what's a witch?
Speaker 3 (08:09):
Tell me it is all of the above. I think
the is a witch.
Speaker 2 (08:14):
You've heard it here first confirmed.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
It does depend on who you ask. The meaning will
change for me, which is somebody who lives outside of
social norms, somebody who does practice a form of magic,
which is witchcraft. Somebody who lives sort of on the edge,
fights for injustice and appropriation, everything like that.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
So how do you become a witch?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Then I can relate to a bunch of things you said,
except for the bit where you said doing actual spells
and stuff.
Speaker 2 (08:46):
So how do you go from like, you.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Know, I've been a little bit left of center and
then going alak exam ala kazoo, I don't.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Like you do be do well?
Speaker 3 (08:56):
There you go.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
I done it. That was just someone I didn't like.
I was thinking of them.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
I think for everybody it's different. For me, it was
for like, I became a witch when I had an
introduction to witchcraft. I've always loved, like growing up history
and watching documentaries about Egypt and about pyramids and about mythology,
and it kind of went from there from loving that
to loving fantasy TV shows and movies and then reading
(09:27):
a few books and boom.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Well, what I've learned from this podcast is if you
want to do something, just go and do it.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
You got to read it.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
You've got to read it.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
There's actually a lot of books that have been read.
A lot of these guests that I've had, they're like,
I read a book. We need to be sponsored by
book Topia, okay, because we could actually have a compendium
that goes with this and recommended books for people that
want to get into all the things rather they do actually,
So so you just kind of decide to be what essentially.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Is the way you A lot of people do have
a calling to that, to becoming a witch or having
a magical practice in some way or form. I think
under the umbrella of witchcraft, there are so many different
spiritual paths and practices and magical traditions that some people
accord to particular areas.
Speaker 2 (10:15):
So yours is to do Asian. I'm really smart Haitio.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
Yes, yes, thinks.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
What's the difference between like that and witchcraft? Or is
it kind of the same umbrella?
Speaker 3 (10:26):
So I was in a sheditation Voodoo compared to my
witchcraft practice very very different culturally even cosmology, So how
spirits came about or how they would do different ceremonies
and rituals are very very different obviously, like cultural context
as well. So one being in Haiti drawn from the
slave trade compared to Europe who have had relatively not
(10:50):
many issues besides fighting amongst each other.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Mm hmmm, grumby bitches. Yes, well okay, So is zoo
do like what we see in the movie? You know?
Speaker 3 (11:01):
Do you want it to be like what you've see
in the movie.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I don't know. I want to know, you know.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
It is from like when we say voodoo A lot
of people do naturally think of, like American horror story
coven that that was my favorite one. It's good. I'm
going to probably say that it is ninety nine point
nine percent inaccurate.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
You see on TV we miss here today.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yes, for me, voodoo is about that's in there somewhere.
I got stopped witchcraft as well, Oh stop it. The
voodoo is for for me is the family. It's about community,
and it's about love, not stabbing dolls or anything like that.
Not saying that you can't.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I mean, I don't want to reveal this, but I will.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
I have a few voodoo dolls, but not in the
fact that anyone's actually like, I don't know, put any
like spells on them. But my grandmother used to make
me vooded of people that I didn't like and no joke,
and she would make them when I was like in school.
Speaker 3 (12:07):
How big is a collection?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Oh, we've got give me figures.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
There's only three because there was two that she made,
and then my mum carried on the tradition when she
passed away and made me another one back to the
one that my grandmother made. Her one was made out
of like old stockings. She nicknamed the guy that was
mean to me smarty pants, so she put little smarties
all over his pants and then I would stab him.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Sure, your grandmother wasn't a witch.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Well, she definitely was a bitch.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
So's the same family.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
That's what she used to do.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Because I'm not really good at farting, and I'm not
really good at like being aggressive towards other people. So
this is a nice passive way dab him in the dick.
Oh should do the knees. Oh my god, you got
a bag? Oh my god, job a vooty doll? This
is oh my god.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Stop.
Speaker 1 (12:56):
So you've just handed me this voodoo doll? What's inside
of it? Because I can feel some things.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
So with that particular one, it is filled with rose
and a few other herbs. Who it is for love.
So with the.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Dolls, I wish you could smell this, But as I
smell this, you should do. It's nots lovely good.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
But with the with the poppets, they are so yeah,
that's what they call like the real name for them.
If it wasn't for movies and TV shows, the voodoo
doll wouldn't be technically a thing. But the poppet is
supposed to represent somebody and what you do to that
will then affect that person in life.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
How do you make that happen though? How do do
the connection?
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Lots of processes, but the idea is that, like historically
they were used a lot for like for fertility and
for love and for protection, blessings and obviously if you're
itbitu hate somebody you can stab and throw in a fire.
Speaker 2 (13:57):
Believing karma you know you know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (14:00):
Well, that one is for you, of you of me? Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Oh, so you do voodoo and you mentioned spells, Like
what spells the work successfully.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
For you depends on what you want to do. Like
I've done like plenty of spells as a teenager. I
remember the very first one that actually worked. The next
day got the result. I was like, oh fuck, so
that kind of inspired me to continue. That was a
kiss spell, So I got kissed when I was younger.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (14:28):
But do you sometimes think that it's also just you've
done that spell so in your brain you're kind of
like putting that out into the world to happen, so
you're more receptive for it to happen, or as also
all the process, you know, all of the because if
I did a spell and I was like, I really
want to get kissed tomorrow, I think I do it,
and then the next day I'd be like walking around
with my lips powdered, getting really close different spaces, expectantly.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
Hello, and then it would happen potentially.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
The other thing I'm thinking of is we've been through
film and television like there's dark and light, magic, black
and white.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Is that a thing? You know? A good witch? Bad witch?
Speaker 3 (15:05):
I same as like the doll, Like I look at
it as everybody has their own their own intentions about
the intention of the person, rather than like you could
do a poppet to harm somebody, and if that person
is doing harm to a partner or to children, then
is that considered something evil?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
True?
Speaker 3 (15:25):
But if I'm doing say.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
At serial killers who kill bad people, it's like dexter
and they go, am I actually a bad guy because
I'm just killing bad guys?
Speaker 2 (15:35):
So are you a bad witch?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
If you're just giving people what they deserve, I or
in order it's for you.
Speaker 3 (15:42):
I think people need to be wise enough to know
that they're not judged or an executioner. I think there
are times when people do deserve certain things, and then
there are times when I need to take a step
back and say I'm not going to do that, or no,
that person doesn't deserve that because whatever other factors there are.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Now I had to ask, you know, witchy voodoo, is
anything spooky scary happened?
Speaker 3 (16:06):
I want to know, have you tried a Oiji board before? No?
Why not? You haven't lived until you've tried solving your
chips and then a Ouiji boy, I want to.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Do it by myself.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
You know, I don't feel like it's a thing to
do with someone, but you have to trust them that
they're not like playing with it, you know what I mean,
they're going, oh, yes. Actually, the best way to test
if someone was like messing with you would be to
do a Wiji board with a dyslexic person, because if
they're like spelling the words wrong, then okay.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Scary story guy.
Speaker 3 (16:35):
I was probably about twenty one twenty two doing Ouiji
board with about four or five other people. We were
a bit intoxicated, so it wasn't one hundred percent like.
We went on board, started making fun of some of
the spirits coming through, and then all of a sudden
there was a massive thump under the table the coffee
table like kind of like jumped from the hit. And
(16:56):
then one of the girls grabbed one of the knives
and started hacking into her arms. So we had to
like jump on her to stop her doing that, and
she woke up and going what the hell you doing
on me? Didn't realize what she had done. She hacking
at you just started stabbing her arm.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah, I don't like that, And you still said after that,
I'll still keep fondling in the arena.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
With Wiji boards. It is one of these things that
people either completely hate to want anything to do with,
or they love it. I think as long as they're
done correctly and finished correctly, then generally your ninety nine
percent nine percent chance, like you're fine.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Did you actually customize a Weigie board with your own
personal phrases?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Because you know there's like yes, no, maybe, and then
like all the letters, could you, like you know, save
your favorite phrases like slay.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Mama or like oker you.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
I'm going to say yes, yeah, because I don't know
how well it will work, but you'll get the answer.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
Do you want I'm just trying to make it quicker,
you know, because it seems like to be a long
time this ballad word because I have my Apple TV
remote and I have to tap through every single little
keyboard thing. I hate to put my password in three
years later finally into it. Okay, if I'm doing that
with that unless they go faster. But on the TV show,
I can.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Go quite fast. Like I've had plan chets like fly
off the table, They've just gone.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
I want to talk to that spirit. That's more my type.
Do you do like ougi spells or like voodoo for
other people? Yep, okay, yeah, not voodoo I do. That's
just for myself. Okay, but witchcraft you do.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
The voodoo for you do?
Speaker 3 (18:28):
So I do do.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
But what the spell work do you do for other people?
Speaker 3 (18:35):
I get a lot of love, prosperity, and divination, so
seeing what's happening for certain situations or for future. I
do have the occasional like cleansing to do. And then
more baneful works are more like curses and xes. So
does watch out bitch.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Get back, get back, get back? Oh okay, so how
do you take on a curse? Texts like do you
case to case basis?
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:04):
If I come to you and I go Oh, you know,
I really don't like this person. Can you just go
and make sure their life is awful, needy context? You go, well,
tell me why they're bad, give me the evidence.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
So normally we do well, I do a consultation and
go through ask all these questions. A lot of people
who do want spell work and doesn't matter what it
is getting it through some sort of like emotion. So
either they've had their X break up with them and
now they want them back and they're not right in
the space, messed with that right, you know, depends on
how you do it, or sometimes.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I count like a little bit like a counseling session
for someone because I feel like if I was really
upset about a situation and I felt like I was
being proactive and went to someone like you, maybe whether
you did something or didn't like didn't end up like
taking me on, it would just make me feel like
I've been proactive.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
With love, I normally don't do it for specific people.
It's more for like quality tears of a partner that
they want and that way they're not falling into the
same potentially like toxic relationship over and over again, all
the same habits and same issues up potions yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:12):
Like like potions? Potions? Yeah, what do you do with them?
Speaker 3 (20:16):
Sometimes when we make things, it can just be like
an oil, so you apply to yourself. I have made
things to go in food before for.
Speaker 1 (20:24):
The person for them to sneak into something. And should
we were exposing you right now, not.
Speaker 3 (20:28):
A roofy like like we're real stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:32):
Can you're actually just a meth dealer and we had
no idea?
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Like you brought it a mets dealer again the second time.
You gotta stop with I just mix up some potions.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Just take this with water, you'll be bad.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Okay, So some things you can consume.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
Sometimes it's tea, sometimes it's something to put in your
mop worter, heaps of stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah yeah, So then what is the deciding factor? You'd
be like, yeah, I'll do it. No way.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Sometimes it may be like not now, I can do it,
but not now, like you need to go through and
this process something first, or I need you to give
it a little bit first before they can they're in
the right mind frame to be able to have it done.
Sometimes I say yes and I find myself running through
the forest midnight, freeze my ass off. Trying to do stuff.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Are you just had a beat? I don't know. I'm
doing consensual babe.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
I'm just going out to different spells. Don't wait up.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
You'll find me by the big bush.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
But I'll be following through the bushes looking for the row. Okay.
And is there a team of you?
Speaker 3 (21:47):
I have five staff.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Yeah. And do they all do the same thing? Oh,
you've got specially.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Is it kind of like the spice skills where you
all have a thing that you're good at the other way,
I think that would love to be the spy skills,
but we're not cool enough to.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Use by skills. Spices in potions, don't you?
Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah? And herbs?
Speaker 1 (22:03):
Oh maybe you could be that after everything we've learned. Hypothetically,
let me pretend to be a client. Okay if over
the past year, you know, I may have had some
certain person latantly rip off one of my routines that
(22:23):
I do and that I personally created and using a
special show mix that's actually mine that I got customized
and commissioned, and I wanted to put a hex on them?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
How would I do it? And like, could we do
it today?
Speaker 3 (22:36):
But hypothetically, maybe hypothetically you could do lots of things.
What sort of personality is this hypothetical.
Speaker 1 (22:43):
Person hypothetically dickhead who has no original ideas ever in
their life and likes to copy everything I do.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
And it's really ugly hypothetically.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
So so if you do want to do something, there
are quite a few things you can do. If it's
more like you could create a poppet for them and
have a representation of them so or that you would
realistically need it, like better if you have a piece
of their clothing or something of.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Them taken everything that I have? Sorry, hypothetically, do you
have their name or their birthday?
Speaker 2 (23:20):
I have, yes.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
You get a photo from their Facebook or Instagram?
Speaker 2 (23:24):
I have all of those things.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
You can do something. You could tie their hands. You
could make them so they spill all the shit that
they're they are a.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Drag queen in high heels that I might see them
at a venue hypothetically.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Today, hypothetically if you push them over, was it the
spell or was that you.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I didn't mean to do it. With the spell, it
took over. I'm sorry. Ride does and yell at people
for a living?
Speaker 2 (23:52):
No, who is a witch speaking? You've been listening to
an iHeart Australia production.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
You can seal it with Simon, listen to more of
what you love on iHeart, and check us out on
the socials. Trust me, you think there's some sort of
sorcery to look this good.
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