October 30, 2025 • 31 mins
What happens when a chef known for speed, standards, and scaling brands decides to flip the script and live “God first, family second, work third”? We sat down with our friend John Franke—chef, leader, and founder of Franke Culinary Consulting—to talk about faith in a high-pressure industry and how convictions hold up when tickets are firing, clients are waiting, and home life is loud.
John opens up about the long arc from kitchen chaos to steady leadership, including a season when work paused, family tensions rose, and he had to choose surrender over spin. He shares how therapy and faith worked together, why boundaries are not posturing but proof, and how he measures success by integrity instead of applause. We unpack the shift from reputation with people to reputation with God, the daily practice of gratitude, and a simple idea that changed everything: enough. Enough time for family dinners. Enough humility to listen. Enough provision to keep moving when contracts fall through.
If you’re feeling frayed by the restaurant grind—or any hustle—this conversation offers practical steps and honest encouragement. You’ll hear how to set clear boundaries without burning bridges, how to lead teams without playing hero, and how to trust provision when plans take an unexpected turn. We end on a fun note with a candid food confession that proves even serious chefs savor simple comforts.
If this episode helps you exhale, share it with a friend who needs a reset. Subscribe for more candid conversations that put first things first, and leave a quick review to tell us what part hit home.
For more on Franke Culinary Consulting: https://www.frankeculinaryconsulting.com/about
Christian Counselors Network:
https://www.christiancounselordirectory.com/?https://ChristianCounselorDirectory.com&gad_source=1
Recovery:
https://celebraterecovery.com/
Focus on the Family: Offers a free, one-time phone consultation with a licensed or pastoral counselor at 1-855-771-HELP (4357).
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome to Confessions Beyond the Food.
I'm your host, Nancy Redwin.
Let's dig in and get inspired.
Hi, welcome back to ConfessionsBeyond the Food, where we go
beyond the kitchen and into theheart of what really matters.
Today's conversation, we welcomeback a guest that's been with
(00:23):
us, John Frankie, founder ofFrankie Culinary Consulting, a
chef, leader, and mentor whospent decades shaping teams and
building brands in the foodindustry.
But what I love about thisepisode is where John takes the
conversation, not just aboutsuccess or strategy, but about
(00:44):
priorities.
For him, it's simple, but verypowerful.
God first, family second, workthird.
We talk about what it looks liketo actually live that out,
especially in an industry thatoften flips that order upside
down.
John shares how faith guides hisdecisions, how he stays grounded
(01:04):
when the chaos hits, and whatsurrender really looks like when
things don't go as planned.
It's a conversation about faith,balance, and purpose.
And I think it'll speak toanyone trying to keep what
matters most at the center.
So let's jump in.
Here's my conversation with mygood friend, John Frankie.
(01:25):
Welcome.
Thanks.
Glad to have you on.
So let's get started.
So you have been in the game inthe food service world for a
long time.
Long time.
Chef, leader, now consultant.
So how has your faith shifted orgrown through all these seasons?
SPEAKER_01 (01:41):
Yeah, I think it's been an interesting journey.
You know, if you go back when Igot saved, I was a chef, you
know, and that was a bit of aninteresting pill to swallow for
a lot of people who had beenaround me and heard my voice and
my uh my words come out anddidn't really believe that I
could be such a new in person.
Then went on to be a missionaryin Africa and then came back and
(02:03):
you know had my moments, right?
My ups and downs of being thatChristian person that I could be
in the business place, but thenalso holding people accountable,
also uh getting fired upsometimes, and where you know
I'd go from saying, like, oh mygosh, you know, I wish we could
do this better to be like, youbetter do da-da-da, you know.
And so many people that wouldmaybe watch the and listen to
(02:26):
this or run into me today, theygo, There's absolutely no way
that you are a Christian, youknow, then.
And so my goal nowadays is tomake sure that there isn't a
question about that.
And that does not mean that Ihave to go and throw a Bible in
somebody's face.
I just, you know, to in myactions and my words and my sort
of how I carry myself should bein a more professional, mature,
(02:49):
gracious way that I think peoplesay, huh, what is that?
What is it about him that's alittle bit different?
So over the years, you know, thebiggest challenge of being a
chef has been and being aChristian is what I just
mentioned.
They were sort of going throughthe steps of what is holding
somebody accountable and what isbeing a Christian, right?
So somebody's consecutively lateor they're doing just a really
(03:09):
bad job or they have a badattitude.
Generally, you wouldn't go upand go, Well, let's talk about
it.
Well, go to church with me, andmaybe your attitude will change.
It's kind of like you're fired,get out, we'll do it to somebody
else.
So, not a real goodrepresentation of Christianity,
but again, you're in theworkplace.
So it's like, you know, I I'venever known how to sort of
balance that.
As a leader, it was alwayschallenging because for the same
(03:30):
reasons, and people will come tome for advice.
And then you had to weigh, well,how much advice should be
Christian slanted, and how muchadvice should just be sort of
worldly or professional advice?
And so, and learning how to sortof balance that a little bit.
And then nowadays as aconsultant, it's much easier
because it's my business.
And I, you know, I can I trustGod way more than I used to.
(03:52):
I put him first way more than Iused to, and I understand how to
do that uh and how what thatmeans to me anyway.
And so, again, it doesn't meanthat I walk into every first
meeting, any meeting with aBible.
I don't quote scriptures topeople, but what I do try to do
is I right up front sort of say,hey, look, something that's
important to me is my faith.
(04:12):
Something important to me is myfamily.
And, you know, those two thingsare paramount over everything
else.
And I don't ever really have todo this.
I don't have to say it.
I can just act on it, is I'm notgonna answer your call on a
Sunday.
I'm not gonna answer your calllate Saturday night.
I'm not gonna maybe even answerit on a Thursday, you know, at
7.30 if I'm having dinner withmy family.
(04:34):
So all those things don'tnecessarily portray me as a
Christian, but helps, you know,me sort of lay some boundaries
around what I'm doing.
And then if somebody were tosay, hey, again, never happened
yet, but like, hey, you didn'tanswer my email on Sunday, you
know, I'm not like, oh, I'mtaking a Sabbath.
I can't, it's just like, youknow, okay, I didn't, but you
know, the reason was I was atchurch that morning.
And I think it's a goodopportunity then to talk to
(04:55):
somebody about it, right?
So so but it's it's been achallenge all the way through.
And I think it's probably easierin some industries than other
industries to sort of put onthis Christian cloak, if you
will, and and walk around, butat least in consulting, and I
don't know that it's just somuch consulting that's made it
easier as much as the refocusingand reprioritizing my life
around what's the most importantthing, which again is God and
(05:17):
then my family, and thenconsulting, right?
Not work is first, my familymaybe is kind of second or
third, and God's kind of presseddown there, and I'll I'll see
him on Sunday.
SPEAKER_00 (05:28):
It's a really hard thing to do.
It's especially when you havedeadlines, you know, the
industry is fast-paced.
So that's definitely achallenge.
Absolutely.
But I think once people startseeing, you know, if you live
out your priorities again, Ifeel like it sets you apart and
that they're like, wow, youknow, look at how he is doing
(05:49):
this, you know, and and a likeyou said, ask more questions.
And and how are you able to dothat and why?
So I think that's a really greatexample you can set for lots of
different restaurants thatyou're consulting with and the
people that work there.
And so that's awesome.
So what does it look like foryou to really put God first in
(06:10):
your work, especially in abusiness where it's easy to get
caught up in results andreputation, kind of what we were
just talking about.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I think it's tough.
I think it's tough to say, youknow, it's easy to say I put God
first, and then it's sort of andthen but but it's not so easy to
articulate that and what doesthat mean, right?
So I think uh in terms of like areputation, the way I look at
that is is I I have a reputationfor those around me, uh, or the
way people look at me, and it'sthat is not as important to me
(06:40):
anymore as how God views me.
What is my reputation with God?
When I die and I go, you know,to the pearly gates, you know,
what is what is gonna what am Igonna have to answer to?
And so always remembering that,you know, I don't live every day
in fear of dying and what'sgonna happen when I get to
heaven.
I just want to live inconfidence that God's got my
back and that, you know, I'mgonna I'm gonna do the best I
can for him.
(07:01):
Um but I think in terms of theday-to-day, it's it's not easy
in the industry to uh exemplifythat and like I said, put on
that cloak.
Uh, but it's something you haveto do.
And I think um, you know, thatthe biggest thing is in terms of
putting him first, and the waythat I demonstrate that today,
when somebody says, well, whatdoes that mean?
You know, and I've had thatquestion people pose, like,
(07:21):
well, what does that mean,putting God first?
It means like what like everyday you go to church, it's like,
well, no.
What it is is that what I'mdoing is I'm excuse me,
remembering that everythingthat's provided for me and every
moment of every day isGod-centered, and that you know,
the the situation that I'membraced with, how do how am I
(07:42):
gonna handle that?
What is my reputation to Godgonna be?
So I'm invited to come into ameeting, I'm invited to come in
and help fix a brand.
How am I gonna handle myself?
What is it gonna be the mostprofessional way?
Is it gonna be again gracious,you know, loving, or is it gonna
be really crass and and hatefulor something, right?
And even in a from aprofessional standpoint,
Christian are not the you know,the second one's bad.
(08:03):
But the point is that I'm doingit with an anchor in not because
what's most professional, butbut more so what is more godly.
Um and that, like, you know,just driving here today, like
noticing that God created thetrees, the birds, the sky, the
clouds, like that if I can seeGod in everything, that's a way
for me to put God first.
That when I wake up, he's thefirst thing I think about and
(08:24):
the first person I talk, first,you know, entity I talk to,
right?
The first Jesus is the firstperson I speak to.
So, you know, remembering that,uh, you know, giving thanks to
him every day for everything,you know, my kids, good or bad,
whatever they've done, you know,thanking him for my marriage,
thanking him for my family,thanking them for just anything
and everything.
You know, and that alwaysremembering, even more so, that
(08:44):
yes, he's provided all thesethings, or he's you know,
created all these things, thathe's also provided for me a word
that I like to use when I dotalk about this occasionally is
enough.
Like God always provides enough.
Like if enough for me uh is youknow 10 bucks to get through
today, then that's providedenough in terms of that
financial enough, right?
(09:05):
Now, I need more than$10 a day,but as an example, some people
may only need, when I was amissionary in Africa, a dollar a
day was kind of sufficient.
That was the enough, you know.
Maybe for you know, somebodylike Jeff Bezos, you know, a
million bucks a day is enough,right?
So if this what is your enough?
And then and then if if you findif you zero in on that, that you
remember that God provided itall.
(09:27):
And so if he provided enough foryou, then he must provide enough
time, enough patience, enoughfinances, enough grace to get
you through that day.
And then tomorrow comes andhe'll provide enough again.
And so this sort of alwaysremembering that, so to help me
be less frustrated if I'mspeaking with somebody, uh,
whether that be a family member,a kid, a wife, or a client, you
(09:49):
know, just be like, you know, itlife isn't this tough.
You know, life isn't soone-sided.
You know, there's always twosides to every story, and let me
hear both, and let me God'sgonna provide the patience that
I need to help listen and tohear what's happening.
SPEAKER_00 (10:02):
That's amazing.
The spirit of gratitude.
I think I read that recently inone of my devotionals, and just
having that mindset goingthrough the day.
And some days it's hard to findsomething to be grateful for.
I mean, if you're hit withsomething really awful and
tragic.
And so there's a God that's hereto comfort us.
(10:22):
And so, and and it and mournswith us and and holds us during
that time.
So um, gratitude is such a greatthing.
Another thing that I love whatyou said is that you're not
judging yourself on what manthinks.
And I've I I struggle with thisas being a salesperson is just
needing man's approval, youknow, and and performance and
(10:46):
what this industry thinks aboutme, you know, if I if we lose a
contract, or what do they thinkof me?
And I somebody gave me thisanalogy that there's a throne.
And it's like, who's on thethrone, Nancy?
Is it God or is it the industry?
Is it, you know, whatever it is,even good, you know, it's not a
(11:07):
bad thing, you know, that I lovethis industry.
It's not a bad thing that I lovemy family.
But if I'm putting them on thethrone, then, you know, I've
kind of got it wrong.
I'm I'm not rooted really andanchored.
SPEAKER_01 (11:20):
Yeah, I agree with that.
And I think that's that enough,right?
So like you lose a client, youlose a customer, you you lose a
line of plate where it's thatthe belief that God will provide
enough.
And and I have uh said, not notdirectly to any client, but
jokingly to some friends who areclients, and then I say it every
day to myself is let's say I putout a proposal and I think I'm
(11:43):
gonna get this gig, whatever itis, and it's X amount of
dollars, and then I don't putall my weight on that.
I say, this is a client thatcalled me out of the out of
nowhere, and I am giving them aproposal for X amount of
dollars.
And if they take it, that meansit was meant to be.
And if they don't take it, God'sgot my back.
(12:03):
He's gonna provide enough, sohe'll backfill it with another
client.
I'm never worried.
And I use that word never, likeI am probably once in a while
thinking too much about it.
Most of the time, I I'm I'm haveto remind myself constantly, but
that God is always there toprovide.
And I think that the more that Isay that, and the more that I
(12:24):
believe that, and the more thatI believe that, not just with
like a client, uh, not justbecause it's a proposal that's X
amount of dollars, but it's withmy family.
Like God's provided enoughpatience, enough finances, He's
provided enough to my kids toput them in the right
situations, He's provided enoughto my wife to get her the
happiness that she deserves andneeds.
And if the more that I say that,and the more that I believe
(12:46):
that, that the real test, likeyou just said, the real test is
what if something goes wrong?
Right?
So if I keep saying that, andnot just saying it to like put
it out in the atmosphere, butlike I literally believe that,
that when something does happen,God forbid, like something
happens to a child, to my wife,to family, anything like that,
that now the true test is whatwill happen.
(13:06):
Will I live that, or will I go,it's all God's fault, I can't
believe that he did this to me.
And I truly believe that I havethe faith at this point in my
life to bel that that there's abigger story, there's a bigger
purpose, uh, and that myself andmy needs and my love for
(13:28):
different people um areimportant to me, but it's not
the grand plan.
And so if I can live throughsomething that happens that's
pretty bad or really bad, thatthat will really show me that my
faith is where I think it is.
I don't want to be put to thattest.
But if I am someday, I'm hopefulthat, you know, I'll live up to
(13:49):
that.
SPEAKER_00 (13:50):
Yeah, you're rooted and truth.
And I think the daily, theeveryday work towards, you know,
inviting God into our lives andbuilding that relationship.
It's like with any friendship.
The more you spend time withthem, the you know, the more you
you love them and you trustthem, you know, it goes the same
for God.
And so, and when those hardtimes do come, you know, you're
(14:13):
not just blown away bycircumstance.
So that's awesome.
So was there ever a moment whereyour faith had to lead?
Maybe it didn't even make sensefrom a business standpoint.
SPEAKER_01 (14:26):
Yes.
So a lot of people have theselike, you know, COVID, you
changed me, blah, blah, blah.
And for me, it wasn'tnecessarily COVID, but it was
during that time period where itseemed like everything was
coming at me.
Uh it was, it was a lot ofturmoil with my wife and I, a
lot of turmoil with my kids whoare getting older.
And, you know, there I have twokids from my first marriage, two
(14:47):
kids from my second, and likehow that all kind of worked
together.
And uh a lot was kind ofhappening.
And and whether or not that wasbecause we were all stuck in the
same house, I don't know.
But it was that was the timeframe right there.
And I just was like, there'ssomething's gotta give, right?
I mean, it was just it was justlike it was everything seemed to
be falling apart.
And then of course I didn't haveuh work.
(15:09):
I was I was a consultant at thatby that point, and but those the
few clients I had at that momentuh you know stopped working,
right?
It's like we're not doinganything, our restaurants are
closed at the moment.
And so um, so I had nothing todo.
Uh I didn't have a work toescape to, you know, because
where I had been prior, uh theywere all you know busy doing to
go packaging, all this stuff.
(15:30):
Everybody was like working forhalf the price and half the
salary and busting their buttsto do everything.
And so it was really where Isaid, I dug in, I said, I gotta
find some help and found aChristian therapist.
And like that was like thecatalyst to see God do something
to say if you will submit to me,if you will lay down and say,
(15:51):
It's not, you can't control itanymore.
Like I can't I I got to thepoint where like I couldn't
control the narrative anymorewith my wife, with my kids, with
you know, my ex-wife, like itwould nothing.
I was out of uh out of sorts ina sense, right?
And by by talking to a therapistand being like, okay, here's
where I'm at, like it's justlike chaos, right?
(16:12):
And to kind of bring thosethings together and smooth them
out and then God be along thatride.
It wasn't just like, okay,here's the systematic scientific
way to do this.
It was like, you have got to laydown, you have got to find out
what the root causes of this is.
Where is God in this place?
And that's when I was like, Idon't really even put God in the
equation.
He was not really part of thedeal.
You know, it's like, yeah, yeah,he's in the backseat.
(16:34):
Um, and that was a time where Istarted to see true
transformation, like crazytransformation.
And what I realized is that likeI was doing a good job of
blaming sort of everybody elsefor my issues and my problems uh
and why things weren't working.
And what I realized, I was like,oh, whoops, it's me and my what
I need to do better, what whatGod is is opening my eyes to,
(16:56):
and it's been a journey.
I mean, that was five years ago.
I mean, it's it's been it wasprobably two to three years of
work, right?
And so, and that's why I thinkit's so great about God is that
if he needs to, you know, do amiracle, he'll do it.
But a lot of what I see is thatit's time and effort and
patience and and and fortitudeto get you to the point where
God says, All right, you arereally in this.
(17:18):
It's not like I'm gonna do itfor you.
I'm gonna like guide you andopen the doors for you and pass
you through.
And so just like this nicebuilding, and there was you know
ups and downs as it went up thetrail.
But like the last, let's say,two and a half years, I mean,
it's just been like I can't, Ihave nothing to complain about.
You know, it's been great.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:36):
So that's that's awesome.
I mean, one degree, even if youcould just go one degree a day.
SPEAKER_01 (17:41):
I mean, it can really re- Yeah, there's
something to be said for thatfor sure.
SPEAKER_00 (17:44):
So well, so let's get real.
The industry can chew you up ifyou let it.
SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (17:51):
How do you stay grounded and keep your face
steady in all the chaos?
SPEAKER_01 (17:55):
Yeah, I think I kind of mentioned that earlier, just
like seeing him in all things,remembering that God's there no
matter what happens, good orbad.
Um that if it's a new client, ifit's a client that I haven't
heard from in a while, if it'ssomething to do with my family,
if it's something to do withfriends or or ex-coworkers,
whatever it is, that that Godhas orchestrated this whole
entire thing.
(18:15):
And I think that's what keeps megrounded all the time.
And that, you know, one thing II came to terms with, more from
a professional level, and it andit really rings from a spiritual
level, is that when I wasrunning uh the the food service
of a very large company and allthese different brands and all
these different chefs, and Isort of self-perpetuated work,
(18:38):
right?
Because what I didn't want to dois be at home.
Like that seemed too chaotic tome.
So, but I get praise at work,let me go to work.
And so what I realized isopening restaurants and writing
recipes and whatever else I wasdoing, leading teams, that I
felt I was the only one whocould do it.
Like I was it.
I was the center of this entirething.
(18:58):
And without me, the whole thingwill crumble.
Um, and what I learned to dothen moving forward as a in a
consulting capacity is realize,oh my gosh, I'm not the only
person that can open arestaurant.
I'm not the only person that canlead a team, you know.
I am not as important as Ithought I was, you know, and
that was freeing for a lot ofreasons.
(19:19):
And so it's just a way that Ihave sort of re-looked at life
to say, God really is in thecenter of all of it.
He's the one that we can't livewithout.
So I almost was like, I guess,in a lot of ways, looking at
myself as like some sort ofGod-like person that could do no
wrong, that could be the onlyperson, the omnipotent one that
(19:41):
can run this restaurant.
Uh, and then when I was able towalk away and go, oh, they're
still doing good sales, thingsare still happening, you know.
Maybe it's not as perfect as Iwould have liked, but it's still
going well.
And so I've learned that, andI've learned that with my
family, that you know, we've gotto be collaborative in our
decisions together as a husbandand wife, and um, and even
involving our kids in decisionsthat, you know, hey, do you want
(20:03):
to do this?
And not a big decision like youwant to move to New York City,
right?
Like, well, I guess that youshould ask them that, but you
know, but like just trying to becommunicative with everybody and
be open and transparent withthem.
And so trying to me not likeit's me, I'm the one, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (20:18):
So yeah, it's hard to give up control.
SPEAKER_01 (20:21):
Yes, it is hard to give up.
SPEAKER_00 (20:23):
I mean, and just the even the everyday, it's really
hard.
I actually have a verse in mycar that reminds me that it's
not about me.
And so I'm I mean, I'm hard toremember that.
Yeah, it is, and like, andbecause you typically when you
do start can to control things,your anxiety just my anxiety
starts because I put all thispressure on myself.
(20:44):
And so yeah, it's just kind of areminder of like, hey, you're
not in control, and you've gotto look up instead of like
trying to always look inward.
SPEAKER_01 (20:53):
Yeah, and the more that you allow yourself to
believe you're the only one incontrol, the harder it gets, and
the more it is the harder it isto get out of that frame of
mind.
And that's what I have found.
You know, I'm not a perfectspecimen by any stretch of the
imagination.
I still have my moments, but youknow, again, verbalizing it,
speaking out about it helps putit in front of me to say, now
(21:14):
it's now I'm holding myselfaccountable to this expectation,
whether that's something badthat happens, like I mentioned
earlier, or something like this,where it's like I'm saying that
I'm not really the center of it.
Well, I have to believe that.
I have to, you know, live I haveto live by what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00 (21:27):
Right.
So let's see.
So when things don't go yourway, um a project fail, falls
apart, or doors closed, how doyou practice surrender and trust
that God's still got it?
What are some practical stepsyou can do?
SPEAKER_01 (21:42):
Yeah, so I think practically is what I mentioned
earlier is just believing thathe's got it under control, that
that there's no reason for anynothing really falls apart.
Nothing really goes wrong.
It's just something has turned adifferent direction.
So if you know you're drivingalong on a highway and God's
(22:03):
with you in that car and you'regood to go, and you have end up
on the frontage road or you endup taking a detour, that doesn't
mean that God's not there.
That God's still there, right?
It's like he's still part ofthis event that's happened in
your life.
And I think, you know, a greatexample of that is, you know, I
was a like I said, I was amissionary in Africa, and there
was a a time when we had wewould get money for each month,
(22:27):
our supporters would send, andthere was one of the months
where we had run it down to like50 cents, like no joke.
We and and to get in a taxicabto drive either to the ATM to
get our next, like the nextmonth's you know, thing was
coming, uh, or to go downtown,which is another couple miles,
to go grocery shopping.
That's the same amount of moneyin the taxicab, which is the way
(22:49):
they did it.
And it was 400 franc.
At the time, it's like, I don'tknow, 40, 50 cents, something
like it was like whatever wehave was 400 franc.
That's all I have, like twocoins, two, two hundred coins.
And so we gave it to the guy andwe said, well, we're just gonna
the ATM, it's like a mile up,and then from there, we'll have
money, we'll give the tax thenext taxi driver some money and
go to the grocery store.
So we get to the ATM machine,we're out of money, and there's
the ATM machine's broken.
(23:11):
And I was like, literally thefirst time in my life where I've
been out of money completely.
Um, and it was like a reallylike this moment where I think
back on it.
I was like, okay.
And it's like, oh, I trudged upthe snowstorm to school.
You know, it's kind of one ofthose cliche stories, but it's
we had to make a decision, belike, okay, well, we got to get
to another ATM.
(23:31):
It's a couple miles away.
Like, it's fuck up, you know,it's not like 20 miles.
I mean, it's not the end of theworld.
But it was a moment in my lifewhere I realized, wow, like God
really was like right there, gotus to the next one, no problem.
We got the money we needed.
And, you know, it's just it alsomakes me realize uh that I can
(23:52):
that God provides enough.
You know, that He providedenough to get the ATM machine.
Jokes on us wasn't working,right?
And so now what are you gonnado?
You can freak out, say the wholeworld's crumbling, I have no
money, what am I gonna do?
It's hot out here, we don't haveany water, we're gonna buy water
with the money, you know.
I mean, they said anything.
I had no food, no water, nomoney.
And I was like, oh, well, allthe thousands of people I'm
(24:13):
living around and helping andand witnessing to don't have any
money either.
They're figuring it out.
So we can figure it out too.
And so I think I remember justthat those that moment
specifically when somethingmaybe goes a little bit off to
the side.
Like, could have been a lotcould be a lot worse.
You know, I got my I have moneyin my bank account, not worried
anymore about running out ofmoney and having enough, you
(24:36):
know, gas money to get to thenext stop.
So it's a way to put it inperspective.
SPEAKER_00 (24:40):
Yeah, that's a great way.
So for someone listening wholoves this industry but feels
worn out or disconnected, maybethey do have faith, maybe they
don't.
What would you tell them?
SPEAKER_01 (24:56):
What I would tell them is to find if they're
struggling, right?
So they're struggling, thingsare not going well.
I think the first practicalthing uh is to is to look
within, find out why are youstruggling, what's happening,
try to be as practical as youcan about it, write out, you
know, what I what did I do, whatwas I how was I part of this
(25:16):
struggle?
Uh, not blaming others for thestruggle that you're in, and not
just you know, pointing fingersto really look within, first and
foremost, if you have the means,and even if you don't, there are
churches and other organizationsthat have free therapy, you
know, uh, you know, uh resourcesto go find a therapist.
It's like the most incredibleimportant thing to do that I've
(25:38):
done for the last now five yearsplus, and you know, and just see
someone that you can be openwith and transparent with and
help kind of you know talk youdown and help you just realize
that life isn't so bad and thatto reprioritize.
I think it's unbelievablyimportant.
And I thank God every day thatHe came into my life years and
years ago when I went to churchand got saved, and I was in the
(26:01):
industry, right?
I was chewed up in thatindustry, you know, and I
thought I was the greatest thingand you know, and uh it really
humbled me and brought me downto earth.
And um, but I thinkreprioritizing from a practical
level, you know, kind of lookwithin, what can I do?
How can I make things better?
You know, is it is bad?
Look towards other people thatmaybe have it worse, right?
Um and then reprioritizing andsaying, I need to put I need to
(26:24):
bring God into my life.
Like I don't know how else tohelp somebody that's it that is
at their bottom, other than say,hey, like this is the person,
this is the entity, this is thething that you need to
re-prioritize your life.
Now, just because you bring Godinto your life, it doesn't mean
everything gets solved either.
You know, I think understandingthat even as Christians, and and
(26:48):
it's very biblical to say, like,almost life almost gets worse in
some way, or tougher in someways.
But the the question is, howmuch faith do you have?
How much have you reprioritizedyour life to realize, okay, I
know this is bad, and I know I'min a bad place, and I know I
don't want to be here anymore, Iknow I just you know can't take
it anymore.
That if you go, well, that's atyour bottom, that's where God
(27:09):
wants to meet you, and God wantsto bring you back up and prove
to you that He is real, right?
And so I just think that is thebest way to look at it.
Reprioritize, put God first,find some therapy, whatever
order you want to do that,right?
And then find a friend, findsomebody that you might be
dealing with the same thing.
Uh don't get caught up on onlinesocial media, right, and like
(27:33):
look for the answer there.
Really talking to a personone-on-one and the right person.
Not every therapist is right foreverybody, so finding that right
person, uh, and then gettinginvolved in your church.
I mean, it's like it sounds likean advertisement, but I mean, I
don't know how else to getconnected fully with God without
having a community of peoplearound you to worship and you
(27:54):
know, come around you, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (27:56):
So Yeah, I I heard something recently and it made a
lot of sense.
It's like the one person thatwho do you listen to the most?
Yourself.
So if you have a lie that you'reon repeat, uh maybe it's about
yourself, the situation, or justbeing let down and just what I
(28:17):
deserve.
And and it just goes on repeatuntil you break that cycle.
And for me, from a personalexperience, I mean, it has only
been God.
I can't, I can't watch enoughreality TV or um go shopping
online, you know, even justdoing really fun things like
spending time with my kids thatcan feel that like, you know,
(28:40):
turning to God.
And and there's so many greatrecovery programs out there that
at a lot of churches.
So I mean, we can link some hereon the podcast today, but I just
really, really appreciate youcoming on here and sharing your
story.
And I I mean, obviously, I thinkwe all need to make sure because
(29:01):
your priorities are reflected inwhat you do every day.
We can say that this is ourpriorities, that God, family,
work, but our our actions showthat.
And I think you've given us somereally good tools to go back and
look at reprioritize.
So I can't let you go without aconfession.
So, what is your confessiontoday?
SPEAKER_01 (29:23):
Well, we were talking about that earlier, and
um, you know, one of the thingsyou asked was like, What's my
favorite food?
I think that is a bit of aconfession because um, you know,
as a chef that sort of toutshimself as this creative,
innovative guy and done allthese different genres of food
and all these different menusand everything, and people ask
me all the time, Do you cook athome?
Like, do you cook the mostcreative stuff?
And I said, never, you know, Inever cook at home.
(29:44):
Uh, my wife loves to cook, andyou know, but if I had my dream
like, you know, meal in front ofme, it would be either a quarter
pounder with cheese fromMcDonald's, or it'd be like this
really thick, you know, superthinly shaved sh uh Virginia ham
with American cheese and justregular old mayonnaise,
Hellman's mayonnaise with whitebread, and that is like, and
(30:06):
then even take it next level andlike kind of toast it like a
little bit of grilled cheesesometimes.
Oof, that would be like aconfession of mine.
It's like secret closet eating,you know, as like a chef that's
supposed to be, you know, superinnovative.
The food that I love and eat, Iwould never put on a menu.
You know, it would just be like,oh, I would never do that, like
for somebody outside my house.
But uh I guess that's areasonable confession to say.
SPEAKER_00 (30:28):
Yeah, that's a big confession, especially like
having eaten a lot of your foodat different restaurants.
I mean, you would never guessthat because your um your
entrees are sick.
So in a good way, I try.
In a great way.
SPEAKER_01 (30:45):
I try.
SPEAKER_00 (30:45):
So it's amazing.
So well, thank you so much forjoining us.
And if you guys check out hiswebsite, we'll also link that on
this podcast.
But thank you so much forjoining us.
SPEAKER_01 (30:55):
Oh, I'm happy to be here.
Thanks.
SPEAKER_00 (30:57):
All right, guys, have a good day.
For more inspiration, follow oursocial media at W3Cells.
Please like, comment, andsubscribe.
You know, all the things.
We would love to connect withyou.
Welcome to Confessions Beyond the Food.
I'm your host, Nancy Redwin.
Let's dig in and get inspired.
Hi, welcome back to ConfessionsBeyond the Food, where we go
beyond the kitchen and into theheart of what really matters.
Today's conversation, we welcomeback a guest that's been with
(00:23):
us, John Frankie, founder ofFrankie Culinary Consulting, a
chef, leader, and mentor whospent decades shaping teams and
building brands in the foodindustry.
But what I love about thisepisode is where John takes the
conversation, not just aboutsuccess or strategy, but about
(00:44):
priorities.
For him, it's simple, but verypowerful.
God first, family second, workthird.
We talk about what it looks liketo actually live that out,
especially in an industry thatoften flips that order upside
down.
John shares how faith guides hisdecisions, how he stays grounded
(01:04):
when the chaos hits, and whatsurrender really looks like when
things don't go as planned.
It's a conversation about faith,balance, and purpose.
And I think it'll speak toanyone trying to keep what
matters most at the center.
So let's jump in.
Here's my conversation with mygood friend, John Frankie.
(01:25):
Welcome.
Thanks.
Glad to have you on.
So let's get started.
So you have been in the game inthe food service world for a
long time.
Long time.
Chef, leader, now consultant.
So how has your faith shifted orgrown through all these seasons?
SPEAKER_01 (01:41):
Yeah, I think it's been an interesting journey.
You know, if you go back when Igot saved, I was a chef, you
know, and that was a bit of aninteresting pill to swallow for
a lot of people who had beenaround me and heard my voice and
my uh my words come out anddidn't really believe that I
could be such a new in person.
Then went on to be a missionaryin Africa and then came back and
(02:03):
you know had my moments, right?
My ups and downs of being thatChristian person that I could be
in the business place, but thenalso holding people accountable,
also uh getting fired upsometimes, and where you know
I'd go from saying, like, oh mygosh, you know, I wish we could
do this better to be like, youbetter do da-da-da, you know.
And so many people that wouldmaybe watch the and listen to
(02:26):
this or run into me today, theygo, There's absolutely no way
that you are a Christian, youknow, then.
And so my goal nowadays is tomake sure that there isn't a
question about that.
And that does not mean that Ihave to go and throw a Bible in
somebody's face.
I just, you know, to in myactions and my words and my sort
of how I carry myself should bein a more professional, mature,
(02:49):
gracious way that I think peoplesay, huh, what is that?
What is it about him that's alittle bit different?
So over the years, you know, thebiggest challenge of being a
chef has been and being aChristian is what I just
mentioned.
They were sort of going throughthe steps of what is holding
somebody accountable and what isbeing a Christian, right?
So somebody's consecutively lateor they're doing just a really
(03:09):
bad job or they have a badattitude.
Generally, you wouldn't go upand go, Well, let's talk about
it.
Well, go to church with me, andmaybe your attitude will change.
It's kind of like you're fired,get out, we'll do it to somebody
else.
So, not a real goodrepresentation of Christianity,
but again, you're in theworkplace.
So it's like, you know, I I'venever known how to sort of
balance that.
As a leader, it was alwayschallenging because for the same
(03:30):
reasons, and people will come tome for advice.
And then you had to weigh, well,how much advice should be
Christian slanted, and how muchadvice should just be sort of
worldly or professional advice?
And so, and learning how to sortof balance that a little bit.
And then nowadays as aconsultant, it's much easier
because it's my business.
And I, you know, I can I trustGod way more than I used to.
(03:52):
I put him first way more than Iused to, and I understand how to
do that uh and how what thatmeans to me anyway.
And so, again, it doesn't meanthat I walk into every first
meeting, any meeting with aBible.
I don't quote scriptures topeople, but what I do try to do
is I right up front sort of say,hey, look, something that's
important to me is my faith.
(04:12):
Something important to me is myfamily.
And, you know, those two thingsare paramount over everything
else.
And I don't ever really have todo this.
I don't have to say it.
I can just act on it, is I'm notgonna answer your call on a
Sunday.
I'm not gonna answer your calllate Saturday night.
I'm not gonna maybe even answerit on a Thursday, you know, at
7.30 if I'm having dinner withmy family.
(04:34):
So all those things don'tnecessarily portray me as a
Christian, but helps, you know,me sort of lay some boundaries
around what I'm doing.
And then if somebody were tosay, hey, again, never happened
yet, but like, hey, you didn'tanswer my email on Sunday, you
know, I'm not like, oh, I'mtaking a Sabbath.
I can't, it's just like, youknow, okay, I didn't, but you
know, the reason was I was atchurch that morning.
And I think it's a goodopportunity then to talk to
(04:55):
somebody about it, right?
So so but it's it's been achallenge all the way through.
And I think it's probably easierin some industries than other
industries to sort of put onthis Christian cloak, if you
will, and and walk around, butat least in consulting, and I
don't know that it's just somuch consulting that's made it
easier as much as the refocusingand reprioritizing my life
around what's the most importantthing, which again is God and
(05:17):
then my family, and thenconsulting, right?
Not work is first, my familymaybe is kind of second or
third, and God's kind of presseddown there, and I'll I'll see
him on Sunday.
SPEAKER_00 (05:28):
It's a really hard thing to do.
It's especially when you havedeadlines, you know, the
industry is fast-paced.
So that's definitely achallenge.
Absolutely.
But I think once people startseeing, you know, if you live
out your priorities again, Ifeel like it sets you apart and
that they're like, wow, youknow, look at how he is doing
(05:49):
this, you know, and and a likeyou said, ask more questions.
And and how are you able to dothat and why?
So I think that's a really greatexample you can set for lots of
different restaurants thatyou're consulting with and the
people that work there.
And so that's awesome.
So what does it look like foryou to really put God first in
(06:10):
your work, especially in abusiness where it's easy to get
caught up in results andreputation, kind of what we were
just talking about.
SPEAKER_01 (06:17):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I think it's tough.
I think it's tough to say, youknow, it's easy to say I put God
first, and then it's sort of andthen but but it's not so easy to
articulate that and what doesthat mean, right?
So I think uh in terms of like areputation, the way I look at
that is is I I have a reputationfor those around me, uh, or the
way people look at me, and it'sthat is not as important to me
(06:40):
anymore as how God views me.
What is my reputation with God?
When I die and I go, you know,to the pearly gates, you know,
what is what is gonna what am Igonna have to answer to?
And so always remembering that,you know, I don't live every day
in fear of dying and what'sgonna happen when I get to
heaven.
I just want to live inconfidence that God's got my
back and that, you know, I'mgonna I'm gonna do the best I
can for him.
(07:01):
Um but I think in terms of theday-to-day, it's it's not easy
in the industry to uh exemplifythat and like I said, put on
that cloak.
Uh, but it's something you haveto do.
And I think um, you know, thatthe biggest thing is in terms of
putting him first, and the waythat I demonstrate that today,
when somebody says, well, whatdoes that mean?
You know, and I've had thatquestion people pose, like,
(07:21):
well, what does that mean,putting God first?
It means like what like everyday you go to church, it's like,
well, no.
What it is is that what I'mdoing is I'm excuse me,
remembering that everythingthat's provided for me and every
moment of every day isGod-centered, and that you know,
the the situation that I'membraced with, how do how am I
(07:42):
gonna handle that?
What is my reputation to Godgonna be?
So I'm invited to come into ameeting, I'm invited to come in
and help fix a brand.
How am I gonna handle myself?
What is it gonna be the mostprofessional way?
Is it gonna be again gracious,you know, loving, or is it gonna
be really crass and and hatefulor something, right?
And even in a from aprofessional standpoint,
Christian are not the you know,the second one's bad.
(08:03):
But the point is that I'm doingit with an anchor in not because
what's most professional, butbut more so what is more godly.
Um and that, like, you know,just driving here today, like
noticing that God created thetrees, the birds, the sky, the
clouds, like that if I can seeGod in everything, that's a way
for me to put God first.
That when I wake up, he's thefirst thing I think about and
(08:24):
the first person I talk, first,you know, entity I talk to,
right?
The first Jesus is the firstperson I speak to.
So, you know, remembering that,uh, you know, giving thanks to
him every day for everything,you know, my kids, good or bad,
whatever they've done, you know,thanking him for my marriage,
thanking him for my family,thanking them for just anything
and everything.
You know, and that alwaysremembering, even more so, that
(08:44):
yes, he's provided all thesethings, or he's you know,
created all these things, thathe's also provided for me a word
that I like to use when I dotalk about this occasionally is
enough.
Like God always provides enough.
Like if enough for me uh is youknow 10 bucks to get through
today, then that's providedenough in terms of that
financial enough, right?
(09:05):
Now, I need more than$10 a day,but as an example, some people
may only need, when I was amissionary in Africa, a dollar a
day was kind of sufficient.
That was the enough, you know.
Maybe for you know, somebodylike Jeff Bezos, you know, a
million bucks a day is enough,right?
So if this what is your enough?
And then and then if if you findif you zero in on that, that you
remember that God provided itall.
(09:27):
And so if he provided enough foryou, then he must provide enough
time, enough patience, enoughfinances, enough grace to get
you through that day.
And then tomorrow comes andhe'll provide enough again.
And so this sort of alwaysremembering that, so to help me
be less frustrated if I'mspeaking with somebody, uh,
whether that be a family member,a kid, a wife, or a client, you
(09:49):
know, just be like, you know, itlife isn't this tough.
You know, life isn't soone-sided.
You know, there's always twosides to every story, and let me
hear both, and let me God'sgonna provide the patience that
I need to help listen and tohear what's happening.
SPEAKER_00 (10:02):
That's amazing.
The spirit of gratitude.
I think I read that recently inone of my devotionals, and just
having that mindset goingthrough the day.
And some days it's hard to findsomething to be grateful for.
I mean, if you're hit withsomething really awful and
tragic.
And so there's a God that's hereto comfort us.
(10:22):
And so, and and it and mournswith us and and holds us during
that time.
So um, gratitude is such a greatthing.
Another thing that I love whatyou said is that you're not
judging yourself on what manthinks.
And I've I I struggle with thisas being a salesperson is just
needing man's approval, youknow, and and performance and
(10:46):
what this industry thinks aboutme, you know, if I if we lose a
contract, or what do they thinkof me?
And I somebody gave me thisanalogy that there's a throne.
And it's like, who's on thethrone, Nancy?
Is it God or is it the industry?
Is it, you know, whatever it is,even good, you know, it's not a
(11:07):
bad thing, you know, that I lovethis industry.
It's not a bad thing that I lovemy family.
But if I'm putting them on thethrone, then, you know, I've
kind of got it wrong.
I'm I'm not rooted really andanchored.
SPEAKER_01 (11:20):
Yeah, I agree with that.
And I think that's that enough,right?
So like you lose a client, youlose a customer, you you lose a
line of plate where it's thatthe belief that God will provide
enough.
And and I have uh said, not notdirectly to any client, but
jokingly to some friends who areclients, and then I say it every
day to myself is let's say I putout a proposal and I think I'm
(11:43):
gonna get this gig, whatever itis, and it's X amount of
dollars, and then I don't putall my weight on that.
I say, this is a client thatcalled me out of the out of
nowhere, and I am giving them aproposal for X amount of
dollars.
And if they take it, that meansit was meant to be.
And if they don't take it, God'sgot my back.
(12:03):
He's gonna provide enough, sohe'll backfill it with another
client.
I'm never worried.
And I use that word never, likeI am probably once in a while
thinking too much about it.
Most of the time, I I'm I'm haveto remind myself constantly, but
that God is always there toprovide.
And I think that the more that Isay that, and the more that I
(12:24):
believe that, and the more thatI believe that, not just with
like a client, uh, not justbecause it's a proposal that's X
amount of dollars, but it's withmy family.
Like God's provided enoughpatience, enough finances, He's
provided enough to my kids toput them in the right
situations, He's provided enoughto my wife to get her the
happiness that she deserves andneeds.
And if the more that I say that,and the more that I believe
(12:46):
that, that the real test, likeyou just said, the real test is
what if something goes wrong?
Right?
So if I keep saying that, andnot just saying it to like put
it out in the atmosphere, butlike I literally believe that,
that when something does happen,God forbid, like something
happens to a child, to my wife,to family, anything like that,
that now the true test is whatwill happen.
(13:06):
Will I live that, or will I go,it's all God's fault, I can't
believe that he did this to me.
And I truly believe that I havethe faith at this point in my
life to bel that that there's abigger story, there's a bigger
purpose, uh, and that myself andmy needs and my love for
(13:28):
different people um areimportant to me, but it's not
the grand plan.
And so if I can live throughsomething that happens that's
pretty bad or really bad, thatthat will really show me that my
faith is where I think it is.
I don't want to be put to thattest.
But if I am someday, I'm hopefulthat, you know, I'll live up to
(13:49):
that.
SPEAKER_00 (13:50):
Yeah, you're rooted and truth.
And I think the daily, theeveryday work towards, you know,
inviting God into our lives andbuilding that relationship.
It's like with any friendship.
The more you spend time withthem, the you know, the more you
you love them and you trustthem, you know, it goes the same
for God.
And so, and when those hardtimes do come, you know, you're
(14:13):
not just blown away bycircumstance.
So that's awesome.
So was there ever a moment whereyour faith had to lead?
Maybe it didn't even make sensefrom a business standpoint.
SPEAKER_01 (14:26):
Yes.
So a lot of people have theselike, you know, COVID, you
changed me, blah, blah, blah.
And for me, it wasn'tnecessarily COVID, but it was
during that time period where itseemed like everything was
coming at me.
Uh it was, it was a lot ofturmoil with my wife and I, a
lot of turmoil with my kids whoare getting older.
And, you know, there I have twokids from my first marriage, two
(14:47):
kids from my second, and likehow that all kind of worked
together.
And uh a lot was kind ofhappening.
And and whether or not that wasbecause we were all stuck in the
same house, I don't know.
But it was that was the timeframe right there.
And I just was like, there'ssomething's gotta give, right?
I mean, it was just it was justlike it was everything seemed to
be falling apart.
And then of course I didn't haveuh work.
(15:09):
I was I was a consultant at thatby that point, and but those the
few clients I had at that momentuh you know stopped working,
right?
It's like we're not doinganything, our restaurants are
closed at the moment.
And so um, so I had nothing todo.
Uh I didn't have a work toescape to, you know, because
where I had been prior, uh theywere all you know busy doing to
go packaging, all this stuff.
(15:30):
Everybody was like working forhalf the price and half the
salary and busting their buttsto do everything.
And so it was really where Isaid, I dug in, I said, I gotta
find some help and found aChristian therapist.
And like that was like thecatalyst to see God do something
to say if you will submit to me,if you will lay down and say,
(15:51):
It's not, you can't control itanymore.
Like I can't I I got to thepoint where like I couldn't
control the narrative anymorewith my wife, with my kids, with
you know, my ex-wife, like itwould nothing.
I was out of uh out of sorts ina sense, right?
And by by talking to a therapistand being like, okay, here's
where I'm at, like it's justlike chaos, right?
(16:12):
And to kind of bring thosethings together and smooth them
out and then God be along thatride.
It wasn't just like, okay,here's the systematic scientific
way to do this.
It was like, you have got to laydown, you have got to find out
what the root causes of this is.
Where is God in this place?
And that's when I was like, Idon't really even put God in the
equation.
He was not really part of thedeal.
You know, it's like, yeah, yeah,he's in the backseat.
(16:34):
Um, and that was a time where Istarted to see true
transformation, like crazytransformation.
And what I realized is that likeI was doing a good job of
blaming sort of everybody elsefor my issues and my problems uh
and why things weren't working.
And what I realized, I was like,oh, whoops, it's me and my what
I need to do better, what whatGod is is opening my eyes to,
(16:56):
and it's been a journey.
I mean, that was five years ago.
I mean, it's it's been it wasprobably two to three years of
work, right?
And so, and that's why I thinkit's so great about God is that
if he needs to, you know, do amiracle, he'll do it.
But a lot of what I see is thatit's time and effort and
patience and and and fortitudeto get you to the point where
God says, All right, you arereally in this.
(17:18):
It's not like I'm gonna do itfor you.
I'm gonna like guide you andopen the doors for you and pass
you through.
And so just like this nicebuilding, and there was you know
ups and downs as it went up thetrail.
But like the last, let's say,two and a half years, I mean,
it's just been like I can't, Ihave nothing to complain about.
You know, it's been great.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:36):
So that's that's awesome.
I mean, one degree, even if youcould just go one degree a day.
SPEAKER_01 (17:41):
I mean, it can really re- Yeah, there's
something to be said for thatfor sure.
SPEAKER_00 (17:44):
So well, so let's get real.
The industry can chew you up ifyou let it.
SPEAKER_01 (17:51):
Yep.
SPEAKER_00 (17:51):
How do you stay grounded and keep your face
steady in all the chaos?
SPEAKER_01 (17:55):
Yeah, I think I kind of mentioned that earlier, just
like seeing him in all things,remembering that God's there no
matter what happens, good orbad.
Um that if it's a new client, ifit's a client that I haven't
heard from in a while, if it'ssomething to do with my family,
if it's something to do withfriends or or ex-coworkers,
whatever it is, that that Godhas orchestrated this whole
entire thing.
(18:15):
And I think that's what keeps megrounded all the time.
And that, you know, one thing II came to terms with, more from
a professional level, and it andit really rings from a spiritual
level, is that when I wasrunning uh the the food service
of a very large company and allthese different brands and all
these different chefs, and Isort of self-perpetuated work,
(18:38):
right?
Because what I didn't want to dois be at home.
Like that seemed too chaotic tome.
So, but I get praise at work,let me go to work.
And so what I realized isopening restaurants and writing
recipes and whatever else I wasdoing, leading teams, that I
felt I was the only one whocould do it.
Like I was it.
I was the center of this entirething.
(18:58):
And without me, the whole thingwill crumble.
Um, and what I learned to dothen moving forward as a in a
consulting capacity is realize,oh my gosh, I'm not the only
person that can open arestaurant.
I'm not the only person that canlead a team, you know.
I am not as important as Ithought I was, you know, and
that was freeing for a lot ofreasons.
(19:19):
And so it's just a way that Ihave sort of re-looked at life
to say, God really is in thecenter of all of it.
He's the one that we can't livewithout.
So I almost was like, I guess,in a lot of ways, looking at
myself as like some sort ofGod-like person that could do no
wrong, that could be the onlyperson, the omnipotent one that
(19:41):
can run this restaurant.
Uh, and then when I was able towalk away and go, oh, they're
still doing good sales, thingsare still happening, you know.
Maybe it's not as perfect as Iwould have liked, but it's still
going well.
And so I've learned that, andI've learned that with my
family, that you know, we've gotto be collaborative in our
decisions together as a husbandand wife, and um, and even
involving our kids in decisionsthat, you know, hey, do you want
(20:03):
to do this?
And not a big decision like youwant to move to New York City,
right?
Like, well, I guess that youshould ask them that, but you
know, but like just trying to becommunicative with everybody and
be open and transparent withthem.
And so trying to me not likeit's me, I'm the one, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (20:18):
So yeah, it's hard to give up control.
SPEAKER_01 (20:21):
Yes, it is hard to give up.
SPEAKER_00 (20:23):
I mean, and just the even the everyday, it's really
hard.
I actually have a verse in mycar that reminds me that it's
not about me.
And so I'm I mean, I'm hard toremember that.
Yeah, it is, and like, andbecause you typically when you
do start can to control things,your anxiety just my anxiety
starts because I put all thispressure on myself.
(20:44):
And so yeah, it's just kind of areminder of like, hey, you're
not in control, and you've gotto look up instead of like
trying to always look inward.
SPEAKER_01 (20:53):
Yeah, and the more that you allow yourself to
believe you're the only one incontrol, the harder it gets, and
the more it is the harder it isto get out of that frame of
mind.
And that's what I have found.
You know, I'm not a perfectspecimen by any stretch of the
imagination.
I still have my moments, but youknow, again, verbalizing it,
speaking out about it helps putit in front of me to say, now
(21:14):
it's now I'm holding myselfaccountable to this expectation,
whether that's something badthat happens, like I mentioned
earlier, or something like this,where it's like I'm saying that
I'm not really the center of it.
Well, I have to believe that.
I have to, you know, live I haveto live by what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_00 (21:27):
Right.
So let's see.
So when things don't go yourway, um a project fail, falls
apart, or doors closed, how doyou practice surrender and trust
that God's still got it?
What are some practical stepsyou can do?
SPEAKER_01 (21:42):
Yeah, so I think practically is what I mentioned
earlier is just believing thathe's got it under control, that
that there's no reason for anynothing really falls apart.
Nothing really goes wrong.
It's just something has turned adifferent direction.
So if you know you're drivingalong on a highway and God's
(22:03):
with you in that car and you'regood to go, and you have end up
on the frontage road or you endup taking a detour, that doesn't
mean that God's not there.
That God's still there, right?
It's like he's still part ofthis event that's happened in
your life.
And I think, you know, a greatexample of that is, you know, I
was a like I said, I was amissionary in Africa, and there
was a a time when we had wewould get money for each month,
(22:27):
our supporters would send, andthere was one of the months
where we had run it down to like50 cents, like no joke.
We and and to get in a taxicabto drive either to the ATM to
get our next, like the nextmonth's you know, thing was
coming, uh, or to go downtown,which is another couple miles,
to go grocery shopping.
That's the same amount of moneyin the taxicab, which is the way
(22:49):
they did it.
And it was 400 franc.
At the time, it's like, I don'tknow, 40, 50 cents, something
like it was like whatever wehave was 400 franc.
That's all I have, like twocoins, two, two hundred coins.
And so we gave it to the guy andwe said, well, we're just gonna
the ATM, it's like a mile up,and then from there, we'll have
money, we'll give the tax thenext taxi driver some money and
go to the grocery store.
So we get to the ATM machine,we're out of money, and there's
the ATM machine's broken.
(23:11):
And I was like, literally thefirst time in my life where I've
been out of money completely.
Um, and it was like a reallylike this moment where I think
back on it.
I was like, okay.
And it's like, oh, I trudged upthe snowstorm to school.
You know, it's kind of one ofthose cliche stories, but it's
we had to make a decision, belike, okay, well, we got to get
to another ATM.
(23:31):
It's a couple miles away.
Like, it's fuck up, you know,it's not like 20 miles.
I mean, it's not the end of theworld.
But it was a moment in my lifewhere I realized, wow, like God
really was like right there, gotus to the next one, no problem.
We got the money we needed.
And, you know, it's just it alsomakes me realize uh that I can
(23:52):
that God provides enough.
You know, that He providedenough to get the ATM machine.
Jokes on us wasn't working,right?
And so now what are you gonnado?
You can freak out, say the wholeworld's crumbling, I have no
money, what am I gonna do?
It's hot out here, we don't haveany water, we're gonna buy water
with the money, you know.
I mean, they said anything.
I had no food, no water, nomoney.
And I was like, oh, well, allthe thousands of people I'm
(24:13):
living around and helping andand witnessing to don't have any
money either.
They're figuring it out.
So we can figure it out too.
And so I think I remember justthat those that moment
specifically when somethingmaybe goes a little bit off to
the side.
Like, could have been a lotcould be a lot worse.
You know, I got my I have moneyin my bank account, not worried
anymore about running out ofmoney and having enough, you
(24:36):
know, gas money to get to thenext stop.
So it's a way to put it inperspective.
SPEAKER_00 (24:40):
Yeah, that's a great way.
So for someone listening wholoves this industry but feels
worn out or disconnected, maybethey do have faith, maybe they
don't.
What would you tell them?
SPEAKER_01 (24:56):
What I would tell them is to find if they're
struggling, right?
So they're struggling, thingsare not going well.
I think the first practicalthing uh is to is to look
within, find out why are youstruggling, what's happening,
try to be as practical as youcan about it, write out, you
know, what I what did I do, whatwas I how was I part of this
(25:16):
struggle?
Uh, not blaming others for thestruggle that you're in, and not
just you know, pointing fingersto really look within, first and
foremost, if you have the means,and even if you don't, there are
churches and other organizationsthat have free therapy, you
know, uh, you know, uh resourcesto go find a therapist.
It's like the most incredibleimportant thing to do that I've
(25:38):
done for the last now five yearsplus, and you know, and just see
someone that you can be openwith and transparent with and
help kind of you know talk youdown and help you just realize
that life isn't so bad and thatto reprioritize.
I think it's unbelievablyimportant.
And I thank God every day thatHe came into my life years and
years ago when I went to churchand got saved, and I was in the
(26:01):
industry, right?
I was chewed up in thatindustry, you know, and I
thought I was the greatest thingand you know, and uh it really
humbled me and brought me downto earth.
And um, but I thinkreprioritizing from a practical
level, you know, kind of lookwithin, what can I do?
How can I make things better?
You know, is it is bad?
Look towards other people thatmaybe have it worse, right?
Um and then reprioritizing andsaying, I need to put I need to
(26:24):
bring God into my life.
Like I don't know how else tohelp somebody that's it that is
at their bottom, other than say,hey, like this is the person,
this is the entity, this is thething that you need to
re-prioritize your life.
Now, just because you bring Godinto your life, it doesn't mean
everything gets solved either.
You know, I think understandingthat even as Christians, and and
(26:48):
it's very biblical to say, like,almost life almost gets worse in
some way, or tougher in someways.
But the the question is, howmuch faith do you have?
How much have you reprioritizedyour life to realize, okay, I
know this is bad, and I know I'min a bad place, and I know I
don't want to be here anymore, Iknow I just you know can't take
it anymore.
That if you go, well, that's atyour bottom, that's where God
(27:09):
wants to meet you, and God wantsto bring you back up and prove
to you that He is real, right?
And so I just think that is thebest way to look at it.
Reprioritize, put God first,find some therapy, whatever
order you want to do that,right?
And then find a friend, findsomebody that you might be
dealing with the same thing.
Uh don't get caught up on onlinesocial media, right, and like
(27:33):
look for the answer there.
Really talking to a personone-on-one and the right person.
Not every therapist is right foreverybody, so finding that right
person, uh, and then gettinginvolved in your church.
I mean, it's like it sounds likean advertisement, but I mean, I
don't know how else to getconnected fully with God without
having a community of peoplearound you to worship and you
(27:54):
know, come around you, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (27:56):
So Yeah, I I heard something recently and it made a
lot of sense.
It's like the one person thatwho do you listen to the most?
Yourself.
So if you have a lie that you'reon repeat, uh maybe it's about
yourself, the situation, or justbeing let down and just what I
(28:17):
deserve.
And and it just goes on repeatuntil you break that cycle.
And for me, from a personalexperience, I mean, it has only
been God.
I can't, I can't watch enoughreality TV or um go shopping
online, you know, even justdoing really fun things like
spending time with my kids thatcan feel that like, you know,
(28:40):
turning to God.
And and there's so many greatrecovery programs out there that
at a lot of churches.
So I mean, we can link some hereon the podcast today, but I just
really, really appreciate youcoming on here and sharing your
story.
And I I mean, obviously, I thinkwe all need to make sure because
(29:01):
your priorities are reflected inwhat you do every day.
We can say that this is ourpriorities, that God, family,
work, but our our actions showthat.
And I think you've given us somereally good tools to go back and
look at reprioritize.
So I can't let you go without aconfession.
So, what is your confessiontoday?
SPEAKER_01 (29:23):
Well, we were talking about that earlier, and
um, you know, one of the thingsyou asked was like, What's my
favorite food?
I think that is a bit of aconfession because um, you know,
as a chef that sort of toutshimself as this creative,
innovative guy and done allthese different genres of food
and all these different menusand everything, and people ask
me all the time, Do you cook athome?
Like, do you cook the mostcreative stuff?
And I said, never, you know, Inever cook at home.
(29:44):
Uh, my wife loves to cook, andyou know, but if I had my dream
like, you know, meal in front ofme, it would be either a quarter
pounder with cheese fromMcDonald's, or it'd be like this
really thick, you know, superthinly shaved sh uh Virginia ham
with American cheese and justregular old mayonnaise,
Hellman's mayonnaise with whitebread, and that is like, and
(30:06):
then even take it next level andlike kind of toast it like a
little bit of grilled cheesesometimes.
Oof, that would be like aconfession of mine.
It's like secret closet eating,you know, as like a chef that's
supposed to be, you know, superinnovative.
The food that I love and eat, Iwould never put on a menu.
You know, it would just be like,oh, I would never do that, like
for somebody outside my house.
But uh I guess that's areasonable confession to say.
SPEAKER_00 (30:28):
Yeah, that's a big confession, especially like
having eaten a lot of your foodat different restaurants.
I mean, you would never guessthat because your um your
entrees are sick.
So in a good way, I try.
In a great way.
SPEAKER_01 (30:45):
I try.
SPEAKER_00 (30:45):
So it's amazing.
So well, thank you so much forjoining us.
And if you guys check out hiswebsite, we'll also link that on
this podcast.
But thank you so much forjoining us.
SPEAKER_01 (30:55):
Oh, I'm happy to be here.
Thanks.
SPEAKER_00 (30:57):
All right, guys, have a good day.
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