July 10, 2025 • 24 mins
Nancy Ridlen shares ten hard-earned lessons for women in foodservice, sales and entrepreneurship, drawing from her 25 years of experience navigating spaces that weren't always built for women. These personal confessions offer a roadmap for staying authentic while confronting biases and building successful careers in any industry.
- Embrace Who You Are
- Know You Will Face Challenges
- Understand Communication Perception
- Address Harassment and Microaggressions Head-On
- Be Kind and Uplifting to Other Women
- Mentor the Next Generation
- Do Your Homework on Company Culture
- Confront Bullying Tactics
- Leverage the Unique Strengths Women Bring
- Avoid Reverse Discrimination
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Confessions Beyond the Food.
I'm your host, nancy Redland.
Let's dig in and get inspired.
Hi, welcome back to ConfessionsBeyond the Food, where I share
the real, unpolished truths I'velearned about being a woman in
food service sales andentrepreneurship.
(00:22):
I'm Nancy, and if there's onething that this journey has
taught me, it's that success isnot just about strategy or a
good business plan.
It's about staying rooted inwho you are while navigating
spaces that weren't always builtfor you.
These are my top 10 lessons,some hard-earned, some
(00:43):
surprising and all deeplypersonal From embracing your
natural strengths to confrontingbias and learning how to lift
other women up along the way.
This isn't a list of theories.
It's just a roadmap I wish I'dhad when I started 25 years ago.
So whether you're here to pickup a few tips, feel less alone
(01:06):
or spark change in your owncorner of the industry, I hope
you'll find something thatresonates with you.
So let's dig into the top 10how-tos for being a female in
the food service sales and as anentrepreneur.
So the first thing is toembrace who you are.
You do not have to think or actlike a man to succeed.
(01:27):
I remember when I first startedand I was negotiating contracts
, and it was a new thing for meand there were some things that
had never been challenged beforewith other, with other reps
like me.
But I wanted to address theseparticular subjects and a mentor
(01:48):
told me Nancy, you need tothink like a man, you need to
speak like a man and just bullyyour way through this and I just
was like, wait, no, that's notme.
Um, that was not me.
While I did want to get mypoint across, I wanted to speak
it in a way that was true to myvoice, and I feel that when you
(02:12):
do that and when you pretend notto be somebody else, a man or
you know any leader that you youknow, I think it's really
important to be who you are anduse your authentic voice,
intuition and style, becausethose things become your
(02:33):
superpowers.
It's a great thing to thinkabout, whoever you are talking
about Like I mean, that's justsales 101, is to think about how
that person thinks about aparticular subject, or what
their background is or how theyapproach certain situations.
(02:54):
I mean, it's really good tounderstand that, but that
doesn't mean that I have to takeon that stance, really trust
these superpowers.
They really work.
It just comes with sitting backand really thinking about it
before having hard conversationsor negotiating and all those
(03:19):
things.
Be prepared, biases,assumptions and roadblocks will
appear and I think it's reallyimportant to anticipate them so
that they don't derail yourconfidence or momentum.
That one of my customers askedme when I was there for the
(03:44):
first time and I was finding outwhat they were looking for, and
he had an order to place, andhe said hey, will you sit in my
lap while we take the order?
And I just was like, wait what?
And so here I am in thisfive-star property and I'm so
excited he's about to place anorder and I want to make a
(04:07):
really good first impression.
And this is not just a one anddone type of a deal.
This is a relationship that Ihave to keep on going from here
on out.
And here he is making asuggestive comment to me and I
mean that is crazy.
There's lots of crazy thingsthat's happened to me.
But I said, no, uh, I willstand here and take your order
(04:33):
and and we should be good, right, and so and and so, once you
know, we got past that and Istood up for myself, even, as
you know, as a very young,female and wanting to make a
good impression for my companyand all the things.
You have to be prepared to facethose challenges and to say no.
And that is really, really OKIf you have knowing that these
(05:02):
things happen and that when youwalk into a room as a female,
they're going to assume certainthings about you potentially if
they don't know you.
And so understanding thosebiases and what could be
roadblocks, that way you canhelp navigate those and have
(05:23):
really good confidence and buildmomentum as you go.
And you would think by 2025that we wouldn't have these
challenges still, but we do andit's just still there and
unfortunately it's sad but itstill happens.
So there it is.
(05:43):
Number three understandcommunication perception.
So what you say and how you say, it may be heard differently,
coming from a woman.
So when I say something, I maystand up for my company and come
to a client with agreements.
(06:04):
Sometimes I can tell that theyhave viewed me as being whiny,
that I'm complaining, that I'mjust adding something to their
to-do list almost like a wife,that I'm complaining, that I'm
whining, but I'm really comingwith a serious grievance to them
(06:29):
and giving them the facts.
And it still looked that wayand it's just going to happen.
Them the facts, and it stilllooked that way, and it's just
going to happen, that's justgoing to happen.
And so I think it's reallyimportant, when you say things,
to really think about it beforeyou come, you know, to your
employer or a client with verywith the facts, and speak in
(06:55):
facts and put your spin on it.
But it's really important tolay out the truth, especially if
you are viewed like that andyou know what I'm just going to
say.
It it's not fair.
It's just not fair because Joenext to me could say the exact
same thing.
Joe next to me could say theexact same thing and they're
(07:16):
like, wow, great suggestion, orwe'll work on it.
But I do not get that luxury ina lot of things that I do and
it's super frustrating.
And so that is just somethingthat I have continually have to
remember, to think about how Iwant to say it and communicate
(07:36):
it, while staying true to myself.
The next thing that is veryimportant is addressing
harassment and microaggressionshead on.
So back to the story about aguy sitting on me, sitting on
his lap.
That is a bing, bing, bing.
That's major sexual harassmentin the workplace, and so I was
(08:00):
able to turn it around and hebecame a really great client of
mine over time and reallyrespected me after I earned my
feather.
There was another time, notshortly after in my early on
career, that a man, one of myclients was, I mean, sexually
(08:23):
harassing me, like sending menotes, like sending me crazy
emails, and I didn't tellanybody because it wasn't bad,
but I was really reallyuncomfortable Because it wasn't
bad, but I was really reallyuncomfortable and I felt like
it's almost like being in anabusive relationship or it's
(08:43):
like the frog putting it in apot of cold water and you just
keep turning it up, up, up, upup and the next thing you know
you're boiling.
The next thing I knew in thatparticular situation he had
backed me in a walk-in coolerwith nobody around him and I had
a knife literally in my purse,like work bag, and it was like a
(09:07):
steak knife or something that Iwas showing, but I had it as
protection because I was thatscared of that guy, I didn't
pull it out or anything, but Ifinally was like, scared of that
guy, I didn't pull it out oranything, but I finally was like
this is enough.
I have to tell my VP of salesand and she just did I mean she
no questions asked she said wewill not call on that customer
(09:29):
and they spent a lot of moneywith me.
And that was really hard for meas a young person.
But I'm so glad I addressed itbecause not only did I not have
to go back in there and my bossstood up for me and they took
all the proper actions, but Ilearned from that with being,
(09:49):
with having young um or anyfemales or anyone on my team
that has any harassment and anymicroaggressions and saying, hey
, we do not tolerate that hereand that is not appropriate.
And so we take it veryseriously and I have very strong
(10:09):
boundaries and I do it withoutapology, because you want to
create a safe space for yourteam, you want to create a safe
space for yourself.
So if you are being harassed,please report it to a manager or
somebody within your company.
Number five be kind anduplifting to other women.
(10:32):
Collaboration over competition,all right.
So as women we like I mean thisis a generalization, guys for
me it's like comparison.
You know, we're very, wecompare each other, you know,
and and a lot of the times whenyou are in a male dominated
(10:54):
industry and there's anotherfemale in the room, it actually
can create sometimes for somepeople, animosity and they view
them as their competition andthat you know you're, you're the
, you're the female of the group.
Who's this chick?
So?
But I think it's reallyimportant that we be kind to
(11:18):
other women and uplifting, and Ithink it's.
I have made so many good friendswith other women in the
industry, whether they are mysuperiors, whether they are my
coworkers or whether they reportto me, and I think I've learned
that you know being kind andmentoring them and you know the
(11:40):
younger one, that you know thenewer ones to the industry is um
, has been so rewarding for meas um, as a business leader and
being in sales and um, it'sreally important that we get to
not only encourage each otherbut celebrate wins, share
insight.
You know, share insights andtalk about some of the stuff
(12:04):
that comes up in the industrythat wants you know, that is
uncomfortable or even that wantsto pit us against each other.
So be kind to your fellow women.
The next thing is number sixmentor the next generation,
which kind of goes with what Iwas just talking about, but I
(12:27):
think that has been the most.
And I said rewarding it just is.
It's just such a gift to beable to take on the next
generation of female leaders andshow them what good leadership
looks like.
And I had, you know, we've allprobably had a female boss that
(12:49):
wasn't nice to us and at somepoint in our career and was
scary, and at some point in ourcareer and was scary and and,
while I did learn things fromthem for sure, the, the, the
lack of like, nurturing and kindof wanting to build me up and
kind of show me the ropes, um,was kind of discouraging and the
(13:13):
, the people that I can remember, the people that took the time
to get to know me, that broughtme under, you know, their wing
and um, and really just kind offed into me and and and gave me
lots of wisdom over the yearsand answered my questions and
(13:33):
and just helped me get through alot of difficult situations.
If you are new to an industry,in sales or wherever you are, I
really encourage you.
I think probably in all myhow-tos is find a mentor, find
somebody that you can defaultinformation to, to have
(13:54):
confidential conversations, butyou know somebody to help you
have these difficultconversations along your career
path.
Number seven do your homeworkon company culture.
So, before joining orpartnering with any organization
, I think it's really importantto research how they treat women
(14:16):
at every level.
And the second part of that isculture is contagious.
And so we had a situation thatwe were interviewing with a
client back when we firststarted our business, back when
we first started our business,and one of the things that he
(14:37):
asked us in our interviewbecause he was interviewing
myself and my business partneris what do your husbands do for
a living?
And I answered the question andmy business partner answered
the question and we both werelike wait, are you asking who
takes care of our children?
And he's like wait, are youasking like who takes care of
our children?
And he's like, yeah, I'm kindof wondering, I'm kind of
(15:00):
wondering if you have child care.
I seriously wanted to be likehey, kids come out, come out
from the bag.
They found us out.
You know, we've got a daycareback here in our, in our
showroom.
It really floored me and thiswas a very large company and I
couldn't believe that, that, youknow, and this was one of the
(15:24):
top leaders of the company and Icould not believe that that was
a question that people ask andmaybe that's just you know
something, that he you know,just doesn't know any better to
ask that question.
But it really was uncomfortableand and actually I wanted that.
I wanted to sign that clienteven though it wasn't a match
(15:47):
culturally, because I mean itwould have just been the most
awesome.
It was a great factory.
However, it did not work outand looking back, I'm glad it
didn't, and just because I thinkthat it wouldn't be a match
culturally, because we have alot of women on our team.
But I think it's reallyimportant to look how they view
(16:10):
women, how they treat womenaround them.
Do they have women inleadership?
And that could totally bechanged.
So don't count anybody out, butI think it's really important
on how they treat women at everylevel, because culture is truly
(16:30):
contagious contagious.
So the number eight confrontbullying tactics.
So if a man is trying toundermine or intimidate, you
respond with clarity andprofessionalism.
So when you are beingconfronted by a bully, if you
(16:51):
don't know what to say, I justrecommend just saying listen, I
need a second to think aboutthis.
Can we put a pin in it?
And I'll come back if it's justout of the blue.
But if you know that you arewalking into a situation where
somebody is a bully, I thinkit's really important to have
(17:12):
your case ready to go.
What are the facts?
What are you know, documenteverything, dates, timelines,
whatever.
It is that you that you cangive yourself, feel confident in
facts, not emotion, not emotion.
And just to have thatconversation, not emotion.
(17:39):
And just to have thatconversation and also to just
know when to just totally bowout or if you are able to
escalate that situation to theirsuperior.
So you know you want you'regoing to run into bullies.
I mean women, men, whoever allthe time, men, whoever all the
time.
I think it's really importantto know how to talk to a bully
(17:59):
and also don't be a bully,please.
But know how to talk to a bully, but also know when hey, this
person is not going to changetheir mind.
They are firm in their thing.
It's like you need to cut theconversation, walk away.
And my mom always says do youwant it to die here?
Do you want to die on the hill?
(18:20):
You know, and that's, that'sgoing to be your call.
You have to make Number nineleverage the unique strengths
women bring.
So the thing I love about beinga female is that we have an
empathy.
I think that that, I think, isreally special, that we can we
(18:42):
really can read a room and I'veseen so many times where men and
women they'lluging the room,not adding any finesse to it.
It's just like blah, you knowsometimes and that is you know,
and that works for some people.
But for as a female I thinkthat's one thing we do really
(19:29):
well is like we can walk into aroom and see what's happening
around us and know that, hey,that guy looks really busy right
now.
I think I'm going to get youknow.
I don't think I'm going to comein and start vomiting a 15
minute spill.
I'll probably come in, say hi,you know, and try to catch him
at a different time.
But you know, empathy issomething we really do well.
(19:53):
I think we do resilience verywell.
We can get smacked down, but weget right back up.
Adaptability I think that, as afemale, females were very
adaptable and in differentsituations and different
personalities and certainsituations, and these aren't
just like soft skills.
(20:14):
These are very great traitsthat drive lasting success.
So definitely figure out, likeyou know, what your strengths
are.
Again, female or man, figureout what makes you unique and
really use those as yourstrengths are.
Again, female or man, figureout what makes you unique and
really use those as yoursuperpowers.
(20:34):
Number 10, advocate for equality, not revenge.
So avoid reverse discrimination.
So I think it's important to dounto others as you would have
done to them.
I think it's important to dounto others as you would have
done to them.
And so you want to model theinclusive culture that you want
(20:54):
to see, and never assume thatmen are your enemy.
We do not want to punish a manfor being a man or want him to
think, you know, want him to beinauthentic to who he is.
So, just like we want to haveour voice, we need to let men
(21:20):
have their voice.
And the cool thing is is thatwhen you get men and women
together, ideas flowing and justwithout abandon, not worrying
about what other people arethinking, you come up with some
incredible ideas andcollaborations.
And so I just you know I reallyenjoy working with men and I
(21:42):
you know they're, we have, youknow they're, they're amazing.
I'm married to a great man andhe is.
He knows how to bring me down,like 10 levels and um, but I, I
really want to really stressthat.
You know, we all have our bents, we all have our weaknesses, we
all have our strengths and weall are gifted uniquely, and so
(22:07):
we don't want to hold thatagainst, you know, the opposite
sex, and what we want to do istry to lift them up, find those
unique qualities, find ways thatyou can connect with them at
the same level, um, withoutsacrificing on either side who
you are, um, and just be, justbe proud of who you are.
(22:30):
And you know, obviously we'reall not perfect.
We're not perfect at all andthere's room for improvement for
everyone.
And so I just think, you know,overall, being a female has been
really, really fun, but it'salso, you know, been challenging
(22:50):
.
But overall, those challengingtimes and you know, epiphanies
I've had that may have just comeout differently, in the ways
that we've approached the marketand doing things different,
that some really cool thingshave emerged.
And again, I'm still learningand I'm really hopeful that in
(23:14):
the next 10 years, as youcontinue your career, wherever
you are on that spectrum, thatwe can spark a change in each
and every organization and wecan treat others well.
If you treat people well, theyare going to treat you well back
.
If someone is just, if you'rein a position where you're
(23:36):
miserable and you're constantlybeaten down, then it's time to
go.
Try to.
You know, find somewhere elseor, you know, you know advocate
for change.
Talk to a mentor.
There's so many things that wecan do to be a part of the
solution, and it takes bothsides, men and females.
So I just want to thank you somuch for joining me today on my
(24:01):
podcast and I hope you will tunein to our next episode For more
inspiration.
Follow our social media atW3Cells.
Please like, comment andsubscribe.
You know all the things wewould love to connect with you.
Welcome to Confessions Beyond the Food.
I'm your host, nancy Redland.
Let's dig in and get inspired.
Hi, welcome back to ConfessionsBeyond the Food, where I share
the real, unpolished truths I'velearned about being a woman in
food service sales andentrepreneurship.
(00:22):
I'm Nancy, and if there's onething that this journey has
taught me, it's that success isnot just about strategy or a
good business plan.
It's about staying rooted inwho you are while navigating
spaces that weren't always builtfor you.
These are my top 10 lessons,some hard-earned, some
(00:43):
surprising and all deeplypersonal From embracing your
natural strengths to confrontingbias and learning how to lift
other women up along the way.
This isn't a list of theories.
It's just a roadmap I wish I'dhad when I started 25 years ago.
So whether you're here to pickup a few tips, feel less alone
(01:06):
or spark change in your owncorner of the industry, I hope
you'll find something thatresonates with you.
So let's dig into the top 10how-tos for being a female in
the food service sales and as anentrepreneur.
So the first thing is toembrace who you are.
You do not have to think or actlike a man to succeed.
(01:27):
I remember when I first startedand I was negotiating contracts
, and it was a new thing for meand there were some things that
had never been challenged beforewith other, with other reps
like me.
But I wanted to address theseparticular subjects and a mentor
(01:48):
told me Nancy, you need tothink like a man, you need to
speak like a man and just bullyyour way through this and I just
was like, wait, no, that's notme.
Um, that was not me.
While I did want to get mypoint across, I wanted to speak
it in a way that was true to myvoice, and I feel that when you
(02:12):
do that and when you pretend notto be somebody else, a man or
you know any leader that you youknow, I think it's really
important to be who you are anduse your authentic voice,
intuition and style, becausethose things become your
(02:33):
superpowers.
It's a great thing to thinkabout, whoever you are talking
about Like I mean, that's justsales 101, is to think about how
that person thinks about aparticular subject, or what
their background is or how theyapproach certain situations.
(02:54):
I mean, it's really good tounderstand that, but that
doesn't mean that I have to takeon that stance, really trust
these superpowers.
They really work.
It just comes with sitting backand really thinking about it
before having hard conversationsor negotiating and all those
(03:19):
things.
Be prepared, biases,assumptions and roadblocks will
appear and I think it's reallyimportant to anticipate them so
that they don't derail yourconfidence or momentum.
That one of my customers askedme when I was there for the
(03:44):
first time and I was finding outwhat they were looking for, and
he had an order to place, andhe said hey, will you sit in my
lap while we take the order?
And I just was like, wait what?
And so here I am in thisfive-star property and I'm so
excited he's about to place anorder and I want to make a
(04:07):
really good first impression.
And this is not just a one anddone type of a deal.
This is a relationship that Ihave to keep on going from here
on out.
And here he is making asuggestive comment to me and I
mean that is crazy.
There's lots of crazy thingsthat's happened to me.
But I said, no, uh, I willstand here and take your order
(04:33):
and and we should be good, right, and so and and so, once you
know, we got past that and Istood up for myself, even, as
you know, as a very young,female and wanting to make a
good impression for my companyand all the things.
You have to be prepared to facethose challenges and to say no.
And that is really, really OKIf you have knowing that these
(05:02):
things happen and that when youwalk into a room as a female,
they're going to assume certainthings about you potentially if
they don't know you.
And so understanding thosebiases and what could be
roadblocks, that way you canhelp navigate those and have
(05:23):
really good confidence and buildmomentum as you go.
And you would think by 2025that we wouldn't have these
challenges still, but we do andit's just still there and
unfortunately it's sad but itstill happens.
So there it is.
(05:43):
Number three understandcommunication perception.
So what you say and how you say, it may be heard differently,
coming from a woman.
So when I say something, I maystand up for my company and come
to a client with agreements.
(06:04):
Sometimes I can tell that theyhave viewed me as being whiny,
that I'm complaining, that I'mjust adding something to their
to-do list almost like a wife,that I'm complaining, that I'm
whining, but I'm really comingwith a serious grievance to them
(06:29):
and giving them the facts.
And it still looked that wayand it's just going to happen.
Them the facts, and it stilllooked that way, and it's just
going to happen, that's justgoing to happen.
And so I think it's reallyimportant, when you say things,
to really think about it beforeyou come, you know, to your
employer or a client with verywith the facts, and speak in
(06:55):
facts and put your spin on it.
But it's really important tolay out the truth, especially if
you are viewed like that andyou know what I'm just going to
say.
It it's not fair.
It's just not fair because Joenext to me could say the exact
same thing.
Joe next to me could say theexact same thing and they're
(07:16):
like, wow, great suggestion, orwe'll work on it.
But I do not get that luxury ina lot of things that I do and
it's super frustrating.
And so that is just somethingthat I have continually have to
remember, to think about how Iwant to say it and communicate
(07:36):
it, while staying true to myself.
The next thing that is veryimportant is addressing
harassment and microaggressionshead on.
So back to the story about aguy sitting on me, sitting on
his lap.
That is a bing, bing, bing.
That's major sexual harassmentin the workplace, and so I was
(08:00):
able to turn it around and hebecame a really great client of
mine over time and reallyrespected me after I earned my
feather.
There was another time, notshortly after in my early on
career, that a man, one of myclients was, I mean, sexually
(08:23):
harassing me, like sending menotes, like sending me crazy
emails, and I didn't tellanybody because it wasn't bad,
but I was really reallyuncomfortable Because it wasn't
bad, but I was really reallyuncomfortable and I felt like
it's almost like being in anabusive relationship or it's
(08:43):
like the frog putting it in apot of cold water and you just
keep turning it up, up, up, upup and the next thing you know
you're boiling.
The next thing I knew in thatparticular situation he had
backed me in a walk-in coolerwith nobody around him and I had
a knife literally in my purse,like work bag, and it was like a
(09:07):
steak knife or something that Iwas showing, but I had it as
protection because I was thatscared of that guy, I didn't
pull it out or anything, but Ifinally was like, scared of that
guy, I didn't pull it out oranything, but I finally was like
this is enough.
I have to tell my VP of salesand and she just did I mean she
no questions asked she said wewill not call on that customer
(09:29):
and they spent a lot of moneywith me.
And that was really hard for meas a young person.
But I'm so glad I addressed itbecause not only did I not have
to go back in there and my bossstood up for me and they took
all the proper actions, but Ilearned from that with being,
(09:49):
with having young um or anyfemales or anyone on my team
that has any harassment and anymicroaggressions and saying, hey
, we do not tolerate that hereand that is not appropriate.
And so we take it veryseriously and I have very strong
(10:09):
boundaries and I do it withoutapology, because you want to
create a safe space for yourteam, you want to create a safe
space for yourself.
So if you are being harassed,please report it to a manager or
somebody within your company.
Number five be kind anduplifting to other women.
(10:32):
Collaboration over competition,all right.
So as women we like I mean thisis a generalization, guys for
me it's like comparison.
You know, we're very, wecompare each other, you know,
and and a lot of the times whenyou are in a male dominated
(10:54):
industry and there's anotherfemale in the room, it actually
can create sometimes for somepeople, animosity and they view
them as their competition andthat you know you're, you're the
, you're the female of the group.
Who's this chick?
So?
But I think it's reallyimportant that we be kind to
(11:18):
other women and uplifting, and Ithink it's.
I have made so many good friendswith other women in the
industry, whether they are mysuperiors, whether they are my
coworkers or whether they reportto me, and I think I've learned
that you know being kind andmentoring them and you know the
(11:40):
younger one, that you know thenewer ones to the industry is um
, has been so rewarding for meas um, as a business leader and
being in sales and um, it'sreally important that we get to
not only encourage each otherbut celebrate wins, share
insight.
You know, share insights andtalk about some of the stuff
(12:04):
that comes up in the industrythat wants you know, that is
uncomfortable or even that wantsto pit us against each other.
So be kind to your fellow women.
The next thing is number sixmentor the next generation,
which kind of goes with what Iwas just talking about, but I
(12:27):
think that has been the most.
And I said rewarding it just is.
It's just such a gift to beable to take on the next
generation of female leaders andshow them what good leadership
looks like.
And I had, you know, we've allprobably had a female boss that
(12:49):
wasn't nice to us and at somepoint in our career and was
scary, and at some point in ourcareer and was scary and and,
while I did learn things fromthem for sure, the, the, the
lack of like, nurturing and kindof wanting to build me up and
kind of show me the ropes, um,was kind of discouraging and the
(13:13):
, the people that I can remember, the people that took the time
to get to know me, that broughtme under, you know, their wing
and um, and really just kind offed into me and and and gave me
lots of wisdom over the yearsand answered my questions and
(13:33):
and just helped me get through alot of difficult situations.
If you are new to an industry,in sales or wherever you are, I
really encourage you.
I think probably in all myhow-tos is find a mentor, find
somebody that you can defaultinformation to, to have
(13:54):
confidential conversations, butyou know somebody to help you
have these difficultconversations along your career
path.
Number seven do your homeworkon company culture.
So, before joining orpartnering with any organization
, I think it's really importantto research how they treat women
(14:16):
at every level.
And the second part of that isculture is contagious.
And so we had a situation thatwe were interviewing with a
client back when we firststarted our business, back when
we first started our business,and one of the things that he
(14:37):
asked us in our interviewbecause he was interviewing
myself and my business partneris what do your husbands do for
a living?
And I answered the question andmy business partner answered
the question and we both werelike wait, are you asking who
takes care of our children?
And he's like wait, are youasking like who takes care of
our children?
And he's like, yeah, I'm kindof wondering, I'm kind of
(15:00):
wondering if you have child care.
I seriously wanted to be likehey, kids come out, come out
from the bag.
They found us out.
You know, we've got a daycareback here in our, in our
showroom.
It really floored me and thiswas a very large company and I
couldn't believe that, that, youknow, and this was one of the
(15:24):
top leaders of the company and Icould not believe that that was
a question that people ask andmaybe that's just you know
something, that he you know,just doesn't know any better to
ask that question.
But it really was uncomfortableand and actually I wanted that.
I wanted to sign that clienteven though it wasn't a match
(15:47):
culturally, because I mean itwould have just been the most
awesome.
It was a great factory.
However, it did not work outand looking back, I'm glad it
didn't, and just because I thinkthat it wouldn't be a match
culturally, because we have alot of women on our team.
But I think it's reallyimportant to look how they view
(16:10):
women, how they treat womenaround them.
Do they have women inleadership?
And that could totally bechanged.
So don't count anybody out, butI think it's really important
on how they treat women at everylevel, because culture is truly
(16:30):
contagious contagious.
So the number eight confrontbullying tactics.
So if a man is trying toundermine or intimidate, you
respond with clarity andprofessionalism.
So when you are beingconfronted by a bully, if you
(16:51):
don't know what to say, I justrecommend just saying listen, I
need a second to think aboutthis.
Can we put a pin in it?
And I'll come back if it's justout of the blue.
But if you know that you arewalking into a situation where
somebody is a bully, I thinkit's really important to have
(17:12):
your case ready to go.
What are the facts?
What are you know, documenteverything, dates, timelines,
whatever.
It is that you that you cangive yourself, feel confident in
facts, not emotion, not emotion.
And just to have thatconversation, not emotion.
(17:39):
And just to have thatconversation and also to just
know when to just totally bowout or if you are able to
escalate that situation to theirsuperior.
So you know you want you'regoing to run into bullies.
I mean women, men, whoever allthe time, men, whoever all the
time.
I think it's really importantto know how to talk to a bully
(17:59):
and also don't be a bully,please.
But know how to talk to a bully, but also know when hey, this
person is not going to changetheir mind.
They are firm in their thing.
It's like you need to cut theconversation, walk away.
And my mom always says do youwant it to die here?
Do you want to die on the hill?
(18:20):
You know, and that's, that'sgoing to be your call.
You have to make Number nineleverage the unique strengths
women bring.
So the thing I love about beinga female is that we have an
empathy.
I think that that, I think, isreally special, that we can we
(18:42):
really can read a room and I'veseen so many times where men and
women they'lluging the room,not adding any finesse to it.
It's just like blah, you knowsometimes and that is you know,
and that works for some people.
But for as a female I thinkthat's one thing we do really
(19:29):
well is like we can walk into aroom and see what's happening
around us and know that, hey,that guy looks really busy right
now.
I think I'm going to get youknow.
I don't think I'm going to comein and start vomiting a 15
minute spill.
I'll probably come in, say hi,you know, and try to catch him
at a different time.
But you know, empathy issomething we really do well.
(19:53):
I think we do resilience verywell.
We can get smacked down, but weget right back up.
Adaptability I think that, as afemale, females were very
adaptable and in differentsituations and different
personalities and certainsituations, and these aren't
just like soft skills.
(20:14):
These are very great traitsthat drive lasting success.
So definitely figure out, likeyou know, what your strengths
are.
Again, female or man, figureout what makes you unique and
really use those as yourstrengths are.
Again, female or man, figureout what makes you unique and
really use those as yoursuperpowers.
(20:34):
Number 10, advocate for equality, not revenge.
So avoid reverse discrimination.
So I think it's important to dounto others as you would have
done to them.
I think it's important to dounto others as you would have
done to them.
And so you want to model theinclusive culture that you want
(20:54):
to see, and never assume thatmen are your enemy.
We do not want to punish a manfor being a man or want him to
think, you know, want him to beinauthentic to who he is.
So, just like we want to haveour voice, we need to let men
(21:20):
have their voice.
And the cool thing is is thatwhen you get men and women
together, ideas flowing and justwithout abandon, not worrying
about what other people arethinking, you come up with some
incredible ideas andcollaborations.
And so I just you know I reallyenjoy working with men and I
(21:42):
you know they're, we have, youknow they're, they're amazing.
I'm married to a great man andhe is.
He knows how to bring me down,like 10 levels and um, but I, I
really want to really stressthat.
You know, we all have our bents, we all have our weaknesses, we
all have our strengths and weall are gifted uniquely, and so
(22:07):
we don't want to hold thatagainst, you know, the opposite
sex, and what we want to do istry to lift them up, find those
unique qualities, find ways thatyou can connect with them at
the same level, um, withoutsacrificing on either side who
you are, um, and just be, justbe proud of who you are.
(22:30):
And you know, obviously we'reall not perfect.
We're not perfect at all andthere's room for improvement for
everyone.
And so I just think, you know,overall, being a female has been
really, really fun, but it'salso, you know, been challenging
(22:50):
.
But overall, those challengingtimes and you know, epiphanies
I've had that may have just comeout differently, in the ways
that we've approached the marketand doing things different,
that some really cool thingshave emerged.
And again, I'm still learningand I'm really hopeful that in
(23:14):
the next 10 years, as youcontinue your career, wherever
you are on that spectrum, thatwe can spark a change in each
and every organization and wecan treat others well.
If you treat people well, theyare going to treat you well back
.
If someone is just, if you'rein a position where you're
(23:36):
miserable and you're constantlybeaten down, then it's time to
go.
Try to.
You know, find somewhere elseor, you know, you know advocate
for change.
Talk to a mentor.
There's so many things that wecan do to be a part of the
solution, and it takes bothsides, men and females.
So I just want to thank you somuch for joining me today on my
(24:01):
podcast and I hope you will tunein to our next episode For more
inspiration.
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