December 31, 2024 • 60 mins
In this holiday episode of Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver, we bring humor, honesty, and reflection to our caregiving journey over the last year. Join us as we look back on the highs and lows of caregiving, with no topic off-limits!
Natalie discusses the launch of our new Care Forward initiative, which connects individuals in need with local resources, while JJ shares a heartwarming moment baking brownies with our mom—a reminder of both progress and challenges. We also dive into deeper, more complex topics, including anticipatory grief and Jason’s ongoing health concerns.
As always, we balance the tough conversations with some light-hearted fun. The episode wraps up with a "lightning round" where we recount our most challenging, proud, and funny caregiving moments, including the story of our mom stockpiling Swiss Cake Rolls and Cokes at the nursing home.
Looking ahead to 2025, we're excited to continue supporting caregivers with more podcast episodes, caregiver retreats, and ongoing efforts to make a difference in the caregiving community.
Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver
Sisterhood of Care, LLC
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Natalie (00:03):
Hey guys, it's your favorite sisters with the
Confessions of a reluctantcaregiver. Podcast. On the show,
you'll hear caregiversconfessing the good, the bad and
the completely unexpected.
You're guaranteed to relate, beinspired, lead with helpful tips
and resources, and, of course,laugh. Now let's get to today's
confession. You know, we looklike we look like. When I woke
(00:29):
up this morning, I thought I'mgonna do something for our
holiday special the end of yearreview. And I wanted to be like,
I had a different shirt on thatwas a little bit more like
silver and gold. And then Istarted thinking, e I'm getting
(00:51):
old. And so I thought, I'm gonnado red, and little did I know
when the screen would pop up. Soguys, if you're not watching on
YouTube, JJ is in green, and welook like the epitome of
Christmas
Unknown (01:07):
or the holidays, whatever we are the holidays. We
Natalie (01:10):
we are the holidays.
That's all I'm gonna say. Yeah,we are the holidays.
Unknown (01:16):
With the holidays.
However, I have some issues withmy background right now, but
this really is worth seeing.
Like you just need to pop in
Natalie (01:24):
your background is awful.
Unknown (01:29):
So we went to PBS, you know, so we would be all cool
and small
Natalie (01:34):
and have really good audio. People are probably like,
what's wrong with theiraudience? Wrong with
Unknown (01:38):
your sound? And but currently I am, I'm living in a
an RV with my husband. That isthe hardest thing I've ever
done.
Natalie (01:49):
How big is your RV? Is it 14 feet?
Unknown (01:53):
Come on. I mean, help me out here. It's like it's 34
feet. And I am in the bunk room,which is also known as the
closet. So I'm in the closet andtwo Bucha and everything is in
here, like there's foursuitcases. Well, this winter and
summer, we don't really have aplace to live, right? So we're
(02:15):
like, building the house, and soI'm on site. It's fantastic.
It's a little risky. So anyway,so if you hear any hammering or
anything going on, that actuallyis just construction, but, yeah,
it's a hot mess here, and it'svery like nerve wracking. So
that is what's going on in mybackground. Yeah, it sounds
nerve wracking. So, yeah. Sothat is, that is the current
state of my union, marriage andlocation. So there you go. I
(02:39):
feel like the president, anddon't even have to wait till
State of the Union. Let's
Natalie (02:44):
talk about JJ and her hot mess. So
Unknown (02:47):
you know, this is, I love doing this episode. This is
the favorite. This is becauselast year we talked about peeing
on ourselves, and that waspretty funny. I gotta say,
Natalie (02:56):
You know what, I still pee on myself. That's not
changed at all.
Unknown (03:04):
That is true, and you still text me about that issue,
like when you're running for thebathroom in Washington, DC,
Natalie (03:10):
oh yeah, at the Marriott. So anyone who met me
at the Marriott one it was goodthat I didn't have my dress
clothes on for a conference. Asa national conference I was at
and I didn't think about the DCtraffic, and I was like, I'm all
about land speed records. Is theproblem. I want to beat the land
speed record, but I literallyalmost made it to the bathroom.
Unknown (03:35):
And no, no, no, I just want a note all most so you know
you, you, we really focus oncaregiving for others,
Natalie (03:47):
but I don't care for myself.
Unknown (03:51):
So you really need to start making a plan, Natalie,
about that caregiving foryourself. And I just want to
say, as we always do duringthese situations, thank you
tena. Thank you
Natalie (04:02):
tena, because I'm going to tell you, because I mean and,
and thank you folks who carrytena of friends at CVS. You
know, I know where I can getthese essential products. You
know, I never thought that Iwould get to this place, that I
would be using some of thesimilar products as mom. I just,
I did not expect it. And somenopause has been, well,
(04:25):
perimenopause, it's beeninteresting. People are like,
are we going to talk about yourP problem? Talk about
caregiving. Let's talk aboutcaregiving. And so, and let's, I
was getting ready to say, let'ssing, let's dance. Okay.
Unknown (04:42):
Okay. So it, you know, we want to talk about some
updates, I mean, and at the endof the year, we always talk
about some, you know, first ofall, inspire life, yeah, and,
um, but, you know, there's hard,there's uh, there's definitely
funny, there's things that we'velearned. And so. This is kind of
like our 45 minutes of, hey,let's toss it out there. What
(05:03):
have we done this year? So, youknow, Natalie, let's what in the
world, what have you done thisyear? Like, really high level,
like, Okay, what, you know, any,like, big things this year, you
and Jason, because, I mean,that's sometimes a hot mess.
We're going on. What's going onat the handy house. Well, we're
handy,
Natalie (05:21):
that's what I'm gonna tell you. You know, it's funny,
because this is we don't talk alot. No, we do, we do. We do
talk a good bit, but about lifeafter caregiving, and really,
for us, there is no life aftercaregiving. It is intermittent
(05:43):
care, because, as folks know,Jason's a head and neck cancer
survivor. We're two years out.
We go back to New York. By thetime you hear this, we'll have
gone to New York for his nextcheckup. He goes on the 15th to
memorials on Kettering and thelast year has been interesting
life after like when we returnedhome. I mean, the reason we
(06:05):
started the podcast, if youremember, is because I couldn't
figure out what was wrong withme, and so we had to find our
new normal, and we had to saywe're going to be happy again,
even if it's not what we thoughtit was going to be. And so
people look at us and think, Oh,they've got the best life. And
they're look at Jason looksbetter than he's ever looked and
(06:26):
and the reality is is we're juststill a dumpster fire. I mean,
Jason, Jason, people ask me,like, How's Jason's taste? I'm
like, it's still crap. It's notcoming back. And
Unknown (06:39):
so he can't taste anything. Loves to cook. Oh,
people,
Natalie (06:44):
he can't. It's not that he can't taste anything, it's
that it tastes awful. And sothat's the that's the side
effect of having radiation toyour head. It's really highly
advised against, and I wouldadvise against it. It's awful.
And so we've just been trying tofind the new normal. And the
funny thing is, you would notthink he used to love to cook,
(07:07):
and it's, it's been this year.
It's taken him almost two yearsto come back to cooking, and
he's and he's more confident inhis cooking, because he can't
taste anything and tell you ifit tastes good. And so I
Unknown (07:23):
want to know that I am the guinea pig. When I come to
the house, it's like, JJ, we'regonna have this. And I'm like,
that's fantastic, you know, hisand then my main question is,
how does it taste? And I feellike, how does it I feel like, I
feel like, I'm like, one ofthose food reviewers at the
fancy restaurant. I'm like,Jason, I feel like, you know,
the meat is a little tough, butthe vegetables are fantastic. I
(07:44):
mean, he expects a full review.
Yeah, he does.
Natalie (07:46):
And he's still full of bad decisions, because he
doesn't have as much energy, andso he tries to push himself and
as a caregiver, because I amstill a caregiver, just because
Jason is has no no cancerdetected. Doesn't mean that I
still don't provide support tohim, but as a husband and wife,
(08:07):
he's, he provides, I mean, weprovide support to one another,
but there's those very distinctmoments. And for those listeners
who are out there, who are onthe other side of a of an
illness, that it's, it may be along term illness, like with
moms, we're always it neverstops. And so I think that we
ebb and flow in and out ofcaregiving responsibilities. And
(08:29):
it's funny, because I don't seeit well, but I can feel it in my
body. My body feels it in myshoulders. I start feeling more.
I start tensing up a little bitmore. I actually become more
bossy, if that's even possible.
Now, I know Jay, that'sshocking. Wait, let me think
Unknown (08:47):
about that. I don't
Natalie (08:51):
like Stop it. Don't do that. I call that direct. I
don't call it bossy. I'm justmore I call that evil. But no,
it's not, I know. So you know, Ithink this year has been Jason
and and myself, like Jason hadto find his groove, and I had to
(09:14):
find my groove as well, so thatwe made a good rhythm. We and
we, we still go up and down, andthe cancer will, it will show
its face every time he's sick.
His his illness is worse, and sohow do we deal with that? But
we've traveled some. We havemade accommodations for the type
(09:35):
of vacations that we take tomake sure that he it offers him
normalcy, and we and guess what,we still had a good time. So,
you know, and and he has, hecontinues to have clear scans,
but Jason has this. The partthat makes me happy is when he's
happy. And as a caregiver, Ithink we all feel that we just.
(09:58):
US want our loved ones to be ashappy as they can be, and
setting realistic expectationsabout what they can and can't
do. That's that the high for meis Jason built his planter box,
and he has he grew all kinds oftomatoes and peppers and all
kinds of things, and we ate outof the garden, and it was so
(10:19):
good from a health standpoint.
It was so good for him mentallyand emotionally, and it was and
he was so happy. And the bestpart was, with the plants, he
could actually taste a little.
He could taste he tastes morefrom the natural plants than he
does any other food. And sothat's always encouraging, it
doesn't, it seem like a novelidea that we'd eat more plants
(10:41):
that are normally grown, notprocessed. So, so Jay, I mean,
so I think for the most part, Isaid, you know, and we've done
stuff with with us, and we'lltalk about that a little bit
later. But personally, for Jasonand myself, besides moments of
killing each other. It's beenpretty good, yeah. Oh, and the
(11:02):
Beagle, and the Beagle gotsprayed by a skunk in the face.
Oh, that was bad. That was superbad when Daisy the Beagle,
because everybody can see rightbehind me, the little redhead
behind me, really struggled withmaking poor choices on the
Fourth of July, she got right upin a skunk and it sprayed her
face. And then I didn't know,and I let her in the house now,
(11:23):
as everybody's like, no, andthen I didn't realize not to
wash her with regular shampoo,and then we poured tomato juice
over top of her. Yeah, that
Unknown (11:35):
was it was bad care. It was not a good I was a terrible
caregiver,
Natalie (11:41):
and it took four months for the smell to get out. It was
bad. Of that dog's face
Unknown (11:45):
is bad. So yeah, we've been your worst. Yeah, that's
bad moment. It's good
Natalie (11:49):
possibility. But, um, that was a low. That was a that
was a low. How about you, Jay,what have you been up to? Well,
I would like the minutes toreflect that JJ is the very,
very primary caregiver for ourmom. Now you got to understand,
(12:12):
Emily and I are total caregiversfor our mom, but really, our mom
likes JJ best. It's true. So I'mgonna go ahead when I'm and I
think it's because she makes JJfeel the guiltiest. And Emily
and I have like, we're like, nottoday, and but, but my mom, my
(12:34):
mom, will call JJ every time,and then she calls Emily,
Emily's their second favorite.
And then there's any other humanon the earth, and then there's
me. And so I think I'm just, ifyou want to know what a true
confession is, and it's becauseI am the most like my mom. I am
the most like mom is true. Shedoes not want to hear her own
thoughts.
Unknown (12:58):
She's like, I'm not gonna call her okay.
Natalie (12:59):
So now that you know that JJ is the primary, Emily is
the backup, well, and I'm alwaysthe backup for anything
regulatory and stuff like that,to make sure that they they
don't actually like do awful,terrible things at the facility.
So Jay, how about your year?
Unknown (13:18):
Yes. Well, let's just start with a summary that there
are so many conversations withConnie that I could share. But
you know, we
Natalie (13:27):
should do conversations with Connie for next year. Yes,
I'm gonna show you, and I'mgonna do, you know what? I'm
actually thinking about doing alife with Jason and us starting,
and I think we may put this guyson Tiktok. So this will be
something new for next year, Jword, JJ, and I talked about
conversations with Connie. I'mtelling you people you would
really love,
Unknown (13:48):
and usually they involve 60 to 70 text over a two
minute period,
Natalie (13:54):
and COVID. Coca Cola.
We would love for you to sponsorus, and we can be paid for our
mom like there's not enough cokefor our mom. And wait, what's
the other what's her other Swissrolls, Little Debbie. Oh, my
God. And we see, I love littleDebbie's too. The Swiss cake
rolls and you peel the chocolateapart. Jay, yeah, yeah. Okay.
(14:15):
Anyway, sorry, I got distractedby cokes and Little Debbie,
Unknown (14:20):
focus, focus, focus.
So, no, it's been, it's been aninteresting year with mom. We
still, you know, it's hardsometimes, you know, as you
said, still feeling the guilt ofthe world here, let me show you,
like flush, my shoulders stillgo down, still. She has good
days and bad days, but as I'veas I watch her through the year,
(14:41):
I've seen we still continue tosee the decline. And you know,
we get the Jason where we'rereally excited, because there
are those up moments and thereare up moments with mom. But I
think with Mom, there's so manycaregivers we talk to that. We
hear that word anticipatorygrief, yeah, and it's there. And
(15:02):
I know that we feel it. We'vebeen doing it for over 20 years,
where mom's been struggling withParkinson's, but we see this
time now where I'm a lot ofthose, those symptoms I saw her
this past Thanksgiving, and alot of those things where she's
a little bit more confused, andthose things that I always
(15:25):
dreaded, those times that I wantto go out with her and do things
and and we're getting to thosemoments. And so even with people
on the podcast net that wetalked to about their lives and
how things kind of progress forthem. And I'm always like, oh
gosh, but I never think aboutthose in our own lives. That's
(15:46):
that's where we're getting to.
And so with each podcast that Ilisten to, or we talk to
somebody, I learn and I takeaway a lot, because that's kind
of where the year has been, isjust watching changes and being
more cognizant of those changes.
So for me, that's what I'mdealing with, because I'm always
(16:08):
struggling. You know, there'sbeen some, there's been a lot of
personal changes. For me, I'mlike, Really, what are you
doing? I mean, I'm not divorced.
My husband is still married toanother crazy stuff? Yeah, I
know, I know. I know
Natalie (16:23):
everybody needs at least one. Emily and I can't
read that.
Unknown (16:27):
So it has been funny, though. So we decided, you know,
we live in Florida. We moveddown there, and then we decided
we it hot.
Natalie (16:34):
Down there, it was hot.
Hey, Jay, it's hot. And you'rereally white and red
Unknown (16:40):
headed. We decided we wanted to move back to North
Carolina part time, right? Andso we started building a house.
Do you know
Natalie (16:47):
how Fauci that sounds?
We thought we'd live in NorthCarolina part time. Well,
Unknown (16:51):
I mean, it's not anyway, so, but we want to be
close to our kids. And so funnything is, we made this idea, you
know, like, well, we're gonnabuild a house. And then the
first thing I thought of was,well, we want to age in place.
So I need zero entry. I need tomake sure that, you know, I give
it to my safety location.
Natalie (17:09):
Okay, let's make sure people understand. Like, JJ,
you're not like a normal girl.
Like, that's true. Yeah. I mean,besides being wearing red and
green and looking likeChristmas, just in your in your
own self. What? What about youwere you had a contractor
license, and you thought Ishould get this certification,
because I don't have enoughstuff on my plate. Let's,
Unknown (17:33):
let's do this. I love.
I've loved since we started allthis, the concept of aging in
place, because we know thatpeople have better health
outcomes when they stay at home.
That's right, and that was oneof the issues that we had with
mom, was making the house safe.
And so once I started learningmore about it, like removing all
rugs and look at things that aretrip hazards, and look at
furniture and where is it, andlighting, you know, because I'm
(17:55):
practically going blind myglasses, I gotta have mom all
the time. And, you know, I gotmy certified Aging in Place
specialist with the HomeBuilders Association. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Very proudof that. So when we got these
plans for our house, I was like,that's not gonna work. Their
steps, their uniform floor, no.
(18:18):
And every door in my house extra
Natalie (18:22):
wide. I mean, Dexter is kind of wide. Anyway, it's I'm
not probably fat, but he'shusky.
Unknown (18:29):
Every door is 36 inches. Okay, every walkway is
like between my island and themain stove is 36 inches. We
didn't go with a gas about 36that's an it's a DA but you can
get wheelchairs through thereeasier to walk. We went with an
(18:50):
induction oven, which does notget hot. So that was a safety
thing for us, so you could touchit only. The pans get hot. The
pots get hot on it. There's justall kinds of things that's
pretty cool, where the outletsare. So I got really excited
about it. So now I feel likeI've made a positive choice, you
know. I'm like, What is youmaking? So, yeah, but the other,
(19:14):
you know, I'll say one morething, and that was, you know,
I've watched mom, and then wegot Dexter had a kidney stone.
I'm gonna tell you. I mean, I'vehad like eight kidney stones in
my life, ladies, if you're outthere, man, if you're out there
and you didn't complain, thatman was crying like a baby. And
I know they're painful, but I'mtrying to be insensitive. I'm
telling you, kidney
Natalie (19:34):
stone, childbirth.
Kidney
Unknown (19:36):
Stone, childbirth. But you know, there was, there were
some problems with it. And so hehad to go and have a CT scan, a
PET scan. And so they found someother things that were problems
with his health. And he, youknow, he's a little older. And
Natalie (19:53):
what do you like? What was her name? The model, what
was there? Anne Marie, oh,what's her name?
Unknown (20:00):
Oh, I remember she married that nine, yeah, but
yeah, that's so he's, it's notlike that, right? No, he's just
63 Okay, so he's not that old.
But anyway, when we got those, Iimmediately went into, first of
all, it was like, Oh my gosh. SoI panicked, because, you know,
Dad died young. He died at 58that's my heart, yeah. And so I
have this, you know, becausewe've got four issues that
(20:23):
they're like, we have someconcerns about this. We're going
to need to address these prettyquickly. And so I got freaked
out of it, and then I was like,caregiver mode. And so we went
to see a surgeon last Friday. Itook my notebook, I had my pen.
I was thinking about badassadvocate. I was thinking about,
I love her. You love hearingabout Aaron. I know. I was like,
I've got my notebook. And I wasasking those questions. I was
(20:45):
like, I'm gonna need to knowthis. So sister or sparkle?
Sisters really? Sparkle? Sister,yes, Michelle hop I was like,
writing all this stuff down, andI just hit that mode when I got
in there. I was like, so I'velearned so much so I wasn't, I
wasn't as freaked out as I mightpossibly have been. I gotta tell
you, I got back in the car, andI was a snot sandwich as I got I
(21:06):
was going home, and the reasonwas, then I had that anticipate,
anticipatory grief, like,Dexter's gonna die. And he
looked at me, and he was like,I'm not dying. I mean, you know,
first of all,
Natalie (21:19):
I mean, we're all dying. You know I'm the one that
burst the bubble? Well, we'reall dying. I feel like Mora from
anyway. So,
Unknown (21:30):
anyway, anyway. So, yeah, and so I went to worst
case scenario, and he was like,simmer down skillet. It's gonna
be okay. We're gonna pullthrough it. Okay. Anyway. So
that's, that's my year, but it'sbeen good, and I've learned a
lot. So, so that is my summer.
Has
Natalie (21:47):
it really been good?
Has it really there have beenmoments that had little
dumpstery moments, so there aredumpster
Unknown (21:54):
moments, and that is why I have created a lightning
round. We're gonna take, I knowwe're gonna take a commercial
break, we're gonna jump back in,okay? Do it, and then we're
gonna go Lightning, and it'sgonna be, it's gonna be hot and
crazy. Get ready. Let's do itall right.
Natalie (22:12):
I don't know about you, but my inbox is always cluttered
with useless emails. But there'sone I always open the
Confessions of a reluctantcaregiver newsletter. You may
say, Natalie, what makes yoursso special? Well, I'm biased,
but don't just take my word forit. Here's what our subscribers
say they love. First, it comesonce per month, and you can read
(22:35):
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(22:58):
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Unknown (23:16):
All right, guys, we're back here
Natalie (23:17):
and we are about to hit the light and rain. Everybody's
shocked that you took thecommercial break. I know, I
think that you forgot. I knowwe're
Unknown (23:25):
having so much fun. I mean, I was ready to pee on
myself. That's all I'm saying.
Okay, thank God for tena. Okay,here it is, all right. Um, here
I got the questions. I got tocreate these. I'm super excited.
I do not create these questions.
You can tell JJ is in charge. II'm so excited. Okay, ready? So,
um, best moment of the year,something that you remember that
(23:46):
really sticks out for you.
Personal moment, best thing. Oh,personal moment. What can be
personal or tied to the it canbe anything. So it can be
anything. Personal. Podcast,mixed. What is it? You
Natalie (23:57):
know, what I best moment for me for the year,
professional, professional isgoing to be we, we started a
company to help people calledcare forward. It's and it was
based on, and so folks are like,what is this care forward thing?
Care forward is a technologyplatform that connects
(24:18):
individuals in need. And we havebeen those individuals in need
Unknown (24:24):
with
Natalie (24:26):
volunteers and community organizations, partner
organizations, who donate time,talent or resource and these
individuals, and the big thingis these individuals need
support within the next seven to10 days, or they could have a
negative health outcome. And soI think about us, when we were
(24:46):
trying to move Mom, we weretransitioning for her, from
skilled nursing to the or,excuse me, from the community,
to skilled nursing, and we hadall these items that were left
over. And honestly. You and Ineeded to shower pretty bad. We
smelled, oh yeah. We had beencleaning all weekend, moving
stuff out and trying to get momin, and we had these items, and
(25:12):
we couldn't sell them, wecouldn't donate them, we
couldn't even give them away.
And that's when care forward wasborn. Because we were like, We
got to be able to help otherpeople. There are other
caregivers, there are people inneed and and we believe in this,
and so we've been working on itfor the last year and some year
and a half, and it went livewith the city of Roanoke doing
our beta test. And we'repartnering with anthem health
(25:35):
keepers, plus Aetna betterhealth of Virginia, United
Healthcare and Sentara healthplans, and so we really, for me,
I think that's one of theproudest things that we've done,
and we could not have done itwithout being caregivers, to
have this personal, livedexperience and to go through
this hard and hearing thestories of our fellow caregivers
(25:58):
on the on here absolutelyinspired us and and the comments
that we have, the comments thatwe had from people online,
that's probably my proudest,
Unknown (26:16):
personally, professionally,
professionally, so so so mine isprobably my best moment,
proudest moment, like it's mybest moment, I guess. And that
was, and it's funny now how nowthe there's so much of our
professional and and personalthat tie in together,
Natalie (26:36):
it totally crosses over. We have no boundaries,
because
Unknown (26:41):
it's, it's so intertwined, like care even
become so much a part of yourlife. And so I would say my best
moment, which is funny, becauseit has to do with my worst
moment last year. Last year, myworst moment was when Medicare
said that mom was deceased, andthey wanted us to pay $7,000 for
(27:04):
mom's medicine. That was myworst moment. Like, I remember
we did that podcast and you saidthat was your funniest sort she
goes, it's too fresh for JJ, butit was awful. And it was it was
so hard. So this year probablymy best moment, my proudest
moment. And everybody may laughat this was my mom stirring
brownies. And if you haven'tseen the video, CVS Natalie made
(27:28):
the connection with CVS at aconference. And I know the lady
you talked.
Natalie (27:32):
I don't know any strangers. Thanks Kristen for
talking to me. The
Unknown (27:36):
lady that she when she said, I want to tell you a
story. I got to tell yousomething. And the lady was
like, Whoa, I don't want any badnews. And she told her the story
about how CVS helped us, and CVSmade it possible, I still get
Terry. They made it possible forus to meet Eileen, which was a
dream. Eileen friend, no, she'sthe lady that changed it for me.
(27:56):
When she told me, your mom'sgonna get her medicine, she
changed everything, and CBS cameout and videoed the story about
it, and mom got to meet Eileen,and Eileen changed everything
for us. And we sat there withEileen, and what we did as part
of the video, it just it allkind of naturally came about. We
made brownies in our kitchen,and mom stirred the brownies,
(28:20):
and she had this moment ofnormalcy, that's right, that was
just watching that and watchingit in the video, was like, this,
is this the best moment? Like,and she was so great. Looked
Natalie (28:33):
happy, and I don't know that it's been a long time since
Mom has felt like herself, andeven, and and after we got done,
she was exhausted. It was a lot,but it was a lot for us. It's a
lot for anybody, um, but it was,it gave it took her back to a
(28:54):
place where, I mean, our mom wasthe Director of Tourism for
Anderson County. We get this, weget this personality on us, like
she was a motivational speaker,which I always joked, who would
listen because but I'm herdaughter, so that's again,
that's why I'm fourth in line.
But, um, she did so great, andit was, it was a throwback. It
was a throwback because webreak. We made brownies. We
(29:14):
were, I know people have seenour photos on our website. I'm
not saying we were chunky kids,but we didn't miss a meal, and
we were kind of Husky, and wegrow them big in Tennessee and
so and so it was. It was areally, it was a shared
experience. Is what CVS gave us.
(29:38):
Because here's the thing, whatwe gave them was an opportunity
to highlight just one of thehundreds of 1000s amazing
employees they have. And yes,CVS is a partner, but guys,
they're not sponsoring thisepisode. No, we when we
genuinely talk about products orpeople, that's because we
genuinely believe in them. And.
And so but, and I'm all aboutrecruitment, retention, you
(30:02):
know, I'm super business mindedin that sense. But then we're
like, people need to know aboutEileen and that, and good
policies that make it so thatcustomers like we should expect
that Jay from businesses. Weshould expect businesses to have
common sense policies that maythat that support the customers
they seek to serve right period,but yeah,
Unknown (30:25):
but as you know, when we talked about this, you and I
talked about it yesterday, andit's so hard when you're a
caregiver, because you're alwaysadvocating for someone else. And
when I think back to thatsituation, and I think back to
Eileen, oh, she, she, sheadvocated for me, and she, she,
I listened to that, I thinkabout that story, and I reread
(30:47):
the blog I wrote, and she was myadvocate when I didn't think I
had anybody on my side, because,you know, I had you guys. We
were all trying to figure outthis problem, this, yeah, I'm
helpless, and I have thispension company saying we'll
just playing the $7,000 don'tworry, they'll pay you back
some. And that was the thing.
And I think it's when you findsomeone, it's a person, it's
(31:07):
anyone, it's a company, and whenthey're willing to advocate for
you and stand up for you, that'ssomebody that you're like
shouting from the mountain,yeah,
Natalie (31:19):
shop with you. Think about it, but I'm that way with
my hairdresser, until two messesup my hair. I am staying with
her. I am not a cheater, and soI am that way about like, where
do I get my makeup? Where, ifyou think about it, and it's
brand loyalty, because youbelieve the company cares about
(31:39):
you, yeah, and, and that's who Iwant to work for. Like, you
know, I mean, like, I want to, Iwant my employer to be that way
to me, because I am more thanjust my job, yeah, but you as
employer have to make it, yeah,you have to make it so that your
employees can do good things.
Oh, yeah. So anyway, that'stalking about business. That's
important, because, yes, youshould know businesses who are
(32:02):
caregiver friendly. You justare. That's it. It's like you
are approved. Your sisterapproved. Our sister approved.
We should be a sister approvedfor next year too. Like, okay,
this is your proof. This is agood thing. Okay, okay, okay.
Next question on lightninground, okay,
Unknown (32:19):
lightning round, let's see hardest, hardest moment,
hardest moment, probably a wordlike, just a difficult time. You
start. Okay, I worked. I worked.
Oh yeah, I worked. Like, almost.
So mom has a significant decayon her teeth because of
(32:42):
medication. She broke a toothand a tooth fell out, and that
happened in September andthrough December. I'm calling
and begging and asking thefacility then says, Hey, we're
sorry, you know, we lost thereferral and this and this and
this and and then they tell me,this is what was really that hit
(33:03):
me so hard. They tell me that,oh yeah, they'll have somebody
come in and pull mom's teeththere at the facility. And I'm
like, Whoa, hold up. That's anoral surgeon job. And when I
talk to mom about it, sheactually is so upset that at the
thought of of someone coming inher facility, and, you know, a
(33:24):
nursing home, and pulling yourteeth. And it hit me hard,
because I don't understand whypeople are treated differently,
the old, the elderly, the sickpeople, they shouldn't be
treated, especially if they'rein congregate care. Yeah, and,
and that was, I think that's,first of all, one of the reasons
why I'm like fight. I don'tunderstand that. That makes me
(33:44):
mad, and especially when I thinkabout people who don't have like
us, or somebody that's out thereadvocating, or somebody that
didn't know the story there wasnobody to tell and say, Oh, I'm
sorry. We have to because of apolicy. I hate policy. We're
going to have to do this onsite. I just don't understand
that and so. But in the end, italso took until May and me
(34:12):
finally making this appointmentfor mom to actually get those to
that those teeth fixed. And thatis and I and, you know, Mom has
insurance and things like that,but because of policy, because
of all this tape, as acaregiver, I felt so bad because
she didn't have a front toothnet. And it was just like, I'll
we'll just pay for it until wegot the money together and we
(34:34):
paid for this dental work,because nobody
else cared. And you're justpissed. I mean, let's just roll
it out there.
Make us an explicit I'm sorry. Inever swear, but that's your
mad. Look at me. I'm like, myface is red. Now you are I think
that's as a caregiver that waslike, and I know that's maybe
people are like, but it's somuch more than just it's just so
(34:56):
much more than teeth. It's like,Why does. Why is the system?
It's it. Why is it failing mymom? But why? Why is it failing
these people who, some theydon't have voices to speak for
themselves? Well, there's somany out there, and
Natalie (35:12):
think about it. It's also ultimately going to fail us
as the is the implicit thingthat's going on in the back of
your mind. You're like, what'sgonna happen when I get hold I
can't older or I need care.
Let's not even when I get older.
We don't even know what olderlooks like. Jason was 55 when he
was diagnosed with cancer, butJason also has back and neck
(35:34):
issues, and that was when he was49 and so it's insult to injury.
Was the cancer, and so go
Unknown (35:41):
ahead. Well, no, and I think what finally got me fired
up, and the it was almost likeyelling. I was like, I don't
think you guys understand thesearen't just teeth. And the lady
was like, Well, you know, we,you know, if we understand this,
and I was like, this is causingsocial isolation. She will not
go out of her room because shedoesn't want people to see her.
First of all, she cannot eat. Soshe's not being nourished
(36:05):
correctly. She's not being fullynourished. And she is she, she
cannot speak like this iscausing a speech problem. And
that is, you know, I thinkpeople are thinking, Oh, she's
got a broken tooth. There's somuch more to everything that you
don't address. And so that wasmy, you know, my advocacy, just
that was my fire. There it is.
Okay.
Natalie (36:26):
That was my heart.
We're gonna take a break. Thatwas really good back. You gotta
know your heart, and then I'mgonna tell you mine, because
people will be like, Nataliedoesn't feel anything. JJ, is a
soft one. I'm like, I do allright. I do you love to listen
to podcasts? So do we? And thesesisters are excited to support
(36:46):
our fellow sister in care,Nicole will host of navigating
the world with your aging lovedone as former guests ourselves,
we love how Nicole explores theworld of aging and care beyond
the informative interviews,Nicole's gathered helpful
resources and practical toolsthat encourage and give hope to
caregivers navigating the agingjourney with their loved ones
(37:09):
for a more meaningful andfulfilled life. You can find
Nicole wherever you downloadyour favorite podcast or go to
her website, www.willgather.com.
Unknown (37:27):
Okay, guys, we're back here, and I've been I've been
complaining about some teeth.
Natalie, what's your heart?
Natalie (37:33):
What's your heart? All right, two cards. First, hard is
simple. It absolutely breaks myheart when you are upset. It is
very hard that I can't help youand help mom, and that you carry
so much of the burden and it itis very hard for me, and as much
(37:57):
as it makes me cry, well, don'tcry. It's okay. It's because I
love you. I'm your sister andand, and this is important. JJ,
and I will argue. JJ, am I notargue? Let's make sure we're all
clear. Because people are likethese. Sisters are like rainbows
and unicorns. The hell we are?
No, we're not. No, we will arguewith each other. Because I you
know, this is about being realand so, but I will tell you
(38:19):
this, no matter how much we doour normal sister stuff, you
know, and what it is istypically, it's just life
stresses. Life stressors willimpact us and but in the end,
we're sisters, and we will neverlet anything come between us.
And caregiving has been reallyhard on our relationships, and
(38:41):
so I think if we would be remissif we did not say caregiving is
hard on our relationship and andit's not about coming to an
agreement on a decision. It'sjust the stressors and the
frustrations and, you know, andthe responsibilities, and when
you're have a person that you'recaring for that really just
(39:02):
wants one person to take thelead, it's if I were you, I
would sometimes be resentful ofme or Emily, because we don't do
as much as you do. I wouldtotally support you in your
resentment and and you arealways really good about telling
us when you need things you'rereally good about, like girls, I
need you to take the call Idon't have it. Or I need you to
(39:23):
Natalie, can you help me withthis? And I think that's really
important in advocating foryourself and to all the siblings
out there who are secondfavorite, third favorite, last
favorite, like myself. I'm withthat with Jason. I encourage you
to not just say, What can I dofor you? Jay, it's know your
(39:45):
sibling know what they're doingand then ask them to do some of
the things that they're doing.
Or, can I just listen for you?
Can I can I be an ear for you?
And I'm gonna, and we're gonna.
Talk, and I want you to let itall out, and I want you to say
all the things that make youupset, because if you hold that
in, it's gonna it'll negativelyimpact you. So just FYI remind
(40:08):
you of that, to make sure thatyou don't carry it by yourself,
because you have people willingto carry it with you. Thank you.
Thank you. That was really nice.
Thank you. Don't tell anybody Iwas nice, though. The other
thing, the other thing, thething that has driven me crazy,
(40:30):
because I will talk about Jason,is he? He continues, he
continues to make poor choices.
He will not tell me that. And Iknow there's lots of people who
can relate to this. He will nottell me when something is wrong.
He will hold it in. He will tellme, Well, I know you're busy, or
I know you're this, or there'snothing you can do about it, so
(40:54):
I didn't bother telling you. Andso every time we go to the
doctor, we do checkup, or thingslike that. He'll he might say
things randomly. And I'm like,why did you not tell me that?
Or, and it's so frustrating. OrI'll say you need to take more
frequent breaks when you'reworking on your personal
projects. Like you need to takemore breaks instead of going
(41:15):
out. And, Oh, perfect example,he mowed the yard. We have a
riding lawn mower. And you wereat our house, we have a riding
lawn mower. We just mowed. Thiswas almost a fight. This was a
full on you. If you die in thatbed. It was justified, because
your crap choice did it. I amsuch a hard Emily. If Emily was
(41:37):
on here, she'd be like, Natalie,you need to be nice to her. And
I'm like, No, I'm not going tobe nicer because he's laying on
the bed and his face is so palefrom where he walked the yard.
He walked with the right pushlawn mower, which is self
propelled, because he's got somelimitations so but he did too
much. It was too hot, and heoverheated. And that's the
(41:58):
hardest thing for me is I am aperson who likes structure and
control. I know that seemsshocking, yeah, and and he is
bound and determined to do itwhat he wants. And I have to
remind him that if he destroyshis body now, I will I I don't
know how I would care for him.
(42:22):
Jason's 50 he'll be 58 inJanuary, and if he's if he
destroys his body. Now I don'tknow what I would do. Yeah, I
don't know what I would do. Itscares me because, and I think
that's and I think ascaregivers. And here's the
selfish part. Ready for theconfession? I don't want to care
(42:43):
again like that yet. I don't, Idon't want, I want to do it when
we're in our 80s. I want to doit like, later in life, I
probably won't even want to doit then. Like, I just want to be
married and I want to be able todo things, and I don't want you
to do things that are gonna,that will, will make it harder
for you. It's aging you faster.
It puts
Unknown (43:04):
him at risk. And I think that's, you know, you're
like, take care of yourself. Imean, I can't take care of all
of you. Take care of yourself.
If
Natalie (43:11):
you won't take it, here's a problem. And this is
how I feel. This is unpopular.
If you won't take care ofyourself, I'm not taking care of
you. That's, do you know howmean that sounds, but if you're
gonna intentionally do it, thenI'm not going to take care of
you when you because I'm notgoing to be punished. That's
what it feels like, is, I feellike I'm being punished when he
makes more choices.
Unknown (43:32):
So that kind of leads us to the funniest moment.
Totally. That leads us to thefunniest but it also leads us to
kind of the, it's kind of thetake care thing, but it's kind
of the funny thing as well. Somom has an OTC card, which is
the over the benefit.
I'm glad you knew OTC. You'restruggling Well,
(43:55):
it's called OTC. I don't know.
It's over the counter,
Natalie (43:58):
over the counter. If it's not, you know, funny that
would be,
Unknown (44:01):
I know, she goes, she gets to go and pick up things at
different locations, of itemsthat she might need through her
advantage or Medicare Advantage.
And it's like the highlight ofthe month. Y'all,
Natalie (44:15):
we got money on that card, and I am burning it up
products. Jay, so,
Unknown (44:19):
so here's the deal. So I took her when I was in for
Thanksgiving. I took her and we,first of all, we hit CBS. I
mean, this is like a fullshopping trip, and it's
exhausting for me y'all, becausethere's a lot of gear you got to
carry. One like, holy smoke. Soit's like taking a little you
know, when you got to have thatbackpack, when you take out kids
and stuff. Well, I got it, no,not like that. I mean, I was No,
(44:41):
but gotta have water. I gottahave
Natalie (44:43):
it is like having a baby. Like, don't downplay it.
Like, she's got a rollator.
She's Got You gotta have awheelchair, because you don't
know if we're gonna go betweenthe wheelchair or the rollator.
Depends on how she's feeling.
She's gonna have to have all thethings. She's got her purse.
You've gotta have the basket.
How are we doing things? Like,don't downplay it. At that is
super important, fair
Unknown (45:01):
enough. Okay, so, so we went to CVS, and we did our her
normal shopping. She gets herbeauty supplies there, and some
of those are on there. You know,we really try, and she needs
coke. And this is her,like, this is her COVID,
this is her guilty confession.
And so, first of all, she getsthree cases of coke. And I'm
like, okay, that's 30 soda. So Ineed to know, though, I need you
(45:25):
to know that the day before,Emily had had her and she had
already gotten three cases ofcoke. So we're up to 76 cans of
Coke. Seven. Wait a minute, 3672cans of Coke. I can't even add
anymore. We're 72 cans of COVID.
That's like, an exceptionalamount of coke. Yeah, that's a
lot
Natalie (45:44):
of coke. And I was doing math, like, if there's 16
ounces times 72
Unknown (45:51):
then it's the Dollar General, because they also do it
Dollar General. Love you. Takeit Dollar General. And she says,
Oh, and I can get my stuff here.
And I'm like, okay, okay. And soI start helping her. We got our
little basket, and weimmediately, like, we're not
going through like, yogurt anddairy, and she means healthy
things. So because she has alittle fridge in her room, she
gets, like, snacks. So weimmediately go to chips and
(46:13):
salsa, and that's okay, and thenwe go to cookies. And I'm like,
Mom, mom, because she's lostsome weight, I'm a little bit
concerned about her nutrition,and so I'm noticing these
things. And then we get to Swissrolls, little Debbie's, which is
one of her favorites,
Natalie (46:30):
Satan's playground over there. I get it the best. So I
Unknown (46:33):
get the Swiss rolls. I get her the box. She asked for
it, and it's on the lower shelf.
So I get it, and she says, Ineed another box. I'm like, Are
you sure? And then they didn'thave another box. I was like,
Thank You, Jesus. There's notanother box of Swiss rolls. And
but we get to the front store,and I'm like, well, they have
another box. And then I see theI say, Mom, they've got another
box. I need that box. And I goget it. And then I say, Mom,
this is, like, the jumbo box. Ithas 24 and she was like, I need
(46:55):
it. I look at the other box, ithas 24 that is 48
Natalie (47:01):
Swiss rolls. Let's make sure that's 48 packages of Swiss
rolls times two, which is 96individual Swiss rolls sorted.
So
Unknown (47:13):
it is my funniest moment. It is like my and I get
to the, I mean, you guys don'tknow, like all of the junk food
that I bought. And then Istarted getting frustrated. I
was like, Mom, I feel like mom,when she was like, No, you can't
have that. We get to the front,and it's like the candy bars,
and I feel but then I'm like,JJ, it's my let it go moment
like to whatever. I don't evencare, mom, whatever you want.
Natalie (47:36):
Just load it up, the medicine or the sugar.
Something's gonna happen. Like,
Unknown (47:41):
Mom, what if she wants 48 if she wants them go to town.
And so I realized at thatmoment, it's my let it go.
Moment I'm just like, what else?
What else could I get? Yeah, youwant it. Do you want any
Mountain Dew? I mean, load itup. I will tell you that the
second part of my funny is thatwhen we went into the facility,
yeah, we start walking throughthere, and she is, got her she's
(48:01):
got a rollator. I have all thecokes on there. And she says,
Oh, hey, John, do you need acoke? Oh, hey, Luanne, do you
wantto show giving all those cokes
away? Coke out? Like, I swear toGod.
So that was my I was like, Mom,mom. And then I was like, I'm
supplying coke for a facility of75 people.
Natalie (48:23):
You're welcome nursing facility. We know how much.
That's
Unknown (48:27):
why I have to purchase so many Cokes. She is a
just coke pedaling, Swiss cakeroll dealer.
Natalie (48:36):
Swiss cake roll dealer.
What is she getting back? Is thequestion, did you ask her what
she's getting back from thosepeople? I
Unknown (48:43):
don't think anything.
Ellie, I think she just gets alot of joy from handing it
Natalie (48:47):
out. And here's the thing, let's find the silver
lining. It's because our mom hasalways wanted to help other
people. She really has, like,again, she has a servant heart,
and if it's she is dealingservice through Swiss cake
rolls,
Unknown (49:01):
okay with that. And you know, I feel like I'm probably
gonna need roles
Natalie (49:04):
because I'm kind of hateful, so I'm probably gonna
need that whenever I get into afacility, because nobody will be
my friend. Otherwise,
Unknown (49:12):
my lesson learned was just to let it go. So what's
your funny? What's your lessonlearned from it? I know, I know.
Oh,
Natalie (49:18):
you know what, Jay, it's at the end of our time. I
mean, I mean, I can't believewe're at the end of our time.
We're gonna have to, we're gonnahave to, okay, we're gonna have
to wrap it up a little bit.
Okay, okay, so I'm gonna tellyou this my funniest moment has
to be my inability to manage mymanage my bathroom breaks, and I
(49:42):
know that has nothing to do withcaregiving, but dang it, I need
to care for myself, and knowthat perimenopause is really
hard, and sometimes I don't havethe same bladder control. And I
know there's people going youshould. See a doctor for that?
And the answer is, I went tothis women's conference by
(50:03):
Senator Warner in Virginia lastweekend, and I listened to the
menopause conference, and therewas a panel of physicians who
were there, and they talkedabout it, and they were like,
yes, you there are things youcan do. And I'm like, really.
Unknown (50:17):
So here's, here's your lesson learned. You must care
for yourself as
Natalie (50:20):
much and carry an extra pair of panties in your under
and you're okay. That is yourlesson learned, and that's my
brothers, and that's that's thego. Okay, so Jay, let's talk
about what's coming up in thenew year,
Unknown (50:30):
absolutely. So here you go. So I do have a couple I have
one question. I'm proudestmoment in the podcast last year,
this past year, one moment thatyou were like, This is stellar.
I'm so proud of this that I wasable to contribute this to the
audience. Okay,
Natalie (50:43):
so I don't want people to think that I play favorites.
Ready? Caregiving youth.
Caregiving youth series, and I'mgonna tell you I loved our
choral series. So we had achoral series talking about the
impact of your of dry mouth onyour overall health and
(51:04):
wellness, because that'ssomething very personal to Jason
and myself, and so if youhaven't heard that series,
people I'm telling you, got togo back and listen to it. It's
on YouTube. We had six amazingprofessional practitioners who
came and gave you everything.
Thank you to our friends at acoral and lots of sponsors for
that. That was that. Butcaregiving youth, because these
(51:27):
and they are truly hiddencaregivers, and we don't see
children as caregivers. Andhaving worked in the foster care
population for 25 years, theprivilege of getting to talk to
these our youngest, I think, was14, and them talking about
caring for their loved ones.
They are, you know, from Kaylinto Aditya to, I mean, every one
(51:48):
of these, these youth, thesisters from Australia, my girls
from from Canada, and I justhave to tell you, it was
absolutely the proudest momentand the organizations who
support them, kids kickingcancer. Kristen, you've got so
many I'm going to tell you, youcan listen to all of our special
(52:09):
series. It's not that people. Ilove heroes. I absolutely love
heroes. But we in the UnitedStates do not recognize the
impact that youth are having incaring for other people. Yeah,
that's my proudest moment,
Unknown (52:26):
I would say for me, because I do love heroes. I love
all the guests, first of all.
But if you were talking about asegment, and I think my proudest
moment was the ability with oursponsors to put out the PBS
series. But what that did whenwe put out the and I say,
series, but the the program thatwas done with us by PBS
Appalachia, when we put out thatspecial, it wasn't just about
(52:49):
the show itself, the programitself, but the fact that we got
to meet those individuals,personally amazing, and to see
them in action, To have dinnerwith them, but to see these fun
and vibrant and just funnypeople that have been through so
much, these veterans, andthey're, they're just, you see
(53:10):
the situation, and you see thatthey're, they're, they're just
making it. They're thriving.
Natalie (53:19):
Tom and Jack JP and Crystal Jose and Quinn, Bob and
Gretchen, like, and Angelina andher dad, oh, my God. Like, yeah,
Unknown (53:31):
I say that. You say they're thriving, but I know
that they have hard moments, andthey're open to talk about them,
but they're just like, You knowwhat? We're just gonna trudge on
through the mud and we're gonnamake it, and they're honest
about it. And I think that wasprobably my proudest, was to be
able to do that. I do lovemilitary. Yeah, I do love that.
So, okay, here it is. So we'rejust going to talk light around
us, because there's some, thereis some crazy stuff going on
(53:53):
next year, what do you got?
Natalie (53:55):
Okay, we have officially moved to PBS, yeah,
and we will be recording intheir state of the art studio,
in in the Hard Rock Hotel andCasino people like, it's gonna
be crazy awesome. And so if anyof our guests ever want to come
(54:17):
and record in studio with us,there will be You are welcome. I
guys, we are so excited topartner with PBS and the hard
rock to record down there thatis going to be amazing. And
we're sort of doing this littletelevision show just,
Unknown (54:32):
yeah, just a 10 part series program, yeah, I'm just
super excited about that. Yeah,take care and it is health,
lifestyle and home. It's goingover a little bit of everything.
It is not just for caregivers,but it
Natalie (54:50):
is for everybody. It's, How do you age? Well, yeah,
yeah. Hey, let's put the Sizzlerreal. Let's put the Sizzler.
Let's do that. Show Notes, guys,you got to watch the Sizzler.
It's hilarious. We playpickleball. I was
Unknown (55:03):
gonna say we play pickleball. So that is, that is
one of the fun things, andanother thing that we're excited
about, yeah, our
Natalie (55:10):
partners at NCL, we're going on a cruise. And we're not
only going on a cruise onNorwegian and it's for
caregivers, but it's foreveryone. And we also have
cohorts. And so we have CarrieAlberts with dementia, darling.
We have we have Kristen Miller,Miller with happy, healthy
caregiver. We have Cindy andKristina from AAC corner. Who
(55:35):
else we have? We
Unknown (55:36):
have Terence Hawthorne, which is caregivers lifestyle.
He's amazing with him and hiswife, Lucretia, and we have
Kristen of Kristen and Keys,keys for caregiving. So we've
got, we have got a crazy groupof fun people who love life, and
you want to talk to everybody.
Natalie (55:53):
It's better than a hallmark cruise. And I love you
Hallmark, I know.
Unknown (55:57):
And we're on a new year. There's
a lot of just it. I thinkthere's a lot of different
differentiating things that aregoing on with the sisters. Oh,
Jay, we got training too.
Natalie (56:08):
January. Holy crap, guys, you're gonna see this
January 23 we're gonna be doingwe're gonna be doing a training
guy, McCall and I with forgehealth, are gonna be doing a
four part training, and it'sfree, and we're probably gonna
have credits, continuingeducation credits, and it's like
a playbook. Oh, it's totally aplaybook on caregiving people.
We're looking to do youthcaregiving series again, and Jay
(56:32):
The Hero series, the heroes,it's
Unknown (56:35):
coming back, and where's it gonna be located.
It's
Natalie (56:37):
gonna be in a big, giant White House, is what we're
trying to do. Oh, guys, it's ait's a big white house. Is what
we're trying to do. We'respeaking this into existence
that we're going to getpermission to go and record in
the Big White House. So we'llkeep you posted. This is going
to be good. We
Unknown (56:56):
are super excited about what's to come. We are so
thankful for everybody that hasworked with us, that has helped
us grow. We're at our listeners.
I know we're at over 300,000streams so and we're in 54
countries, and if we can doanything, you know we're our
email is always open. Info atConfessions of a reluctant
(57:17):
caregiver.com. Tag us like us,follow
Natalie (57:23):
us, email us with everybody. Is what we're gonna
ask. Because here's the thing,we're all going to be
caregivers. All right, you know,the, the the four way test, I
mean, it's, it's really about,it's what Miss Carter talked
about. Rosalyn Carter talkedabout and our friends at the
rosalin Carter Institute. Youknow, we'll either have been a
caregiver. We will be acaregiver. We are a caregiver
(57:47):
that's not in the right order,or we will need care. That's the
thing. It is universal. We willall need care or be cared for.
And I say that with the utmostrespect to our friends at RCI,
our friends at Wounded WarriorFisher House Foundation. I mean,
I think about all the people.
Elizabeth Dole Foundation,possible, all the people. There
are so many partners we've hadthis year and so many
(58:08):
organizations that we have, wehave been had the privilege, the
privilege of learning about theprivilege of getting to share
with you. And Sharon is caring,and I'm going to tell you lots
of great podcasts. We got lotsof friends out there, so we're
always we're happy to crosspromote because there is more
than enough caregivers out thereto be supported for all of us.
(58:30):
Yeah, so Jay,
Unknown (58:34):
I cannot say thank you enough, and I wish everyone a
very, very fruitful andwonderful new year 2025 it's
gonna be big. It's gonna be big.
Forward to it and a veryhealthy, healthy happy new year.
A healthy, happy New Year.
Natalie (58:55):
To everyone, everybody, thank you so much for listening
to your favorite sisters. I knowthat JJ is your favorite. It's
fine, it's okay. We're used toit. Currently, Emily is the
favorite of both of us, so welove you, Emily. All right,
guys, happy New Year, and hereis to a big fat 25 Well,
(59:20):
friends, that's a wrap on thisweek's confession again. Thank
you so much for listening. Butbefore you go, please take a
moment to leave us a review andtell your friends about the
confessions podcast. Don'tforget to visit our website to
sign up for our newsletter.
You'll also find a videorecording of all of our episodes
on the confessions website andour YouTube channel. Don't
(59:42):
worry. All the details areincluded in the show notes
below. We'll see you nextTuesday when we come together to
confess again. Till then, takecare of you. Okay, let's talk
disclaimers. You may besurprised. To find out, but we
are not medical professionalsand are not providing any
(01:00:03):
medical advice. If you have anymedical questions, we recommend
that you talk with a medicalprofessional of your choice, as
always, my sisters and I, atConfessions of a reluctant
caregiver, have taken care inselecting speakers, but the
opinions of our speakers aretheirs alone. The views and
opinions stated in this podcastare solely those of the
(01:00:26):
contributors and not necessarilythose of our distributors or
hosting company. This podcast iscopyrighted, and no part can be
reproduced without the expressedwritten consent of the
sisterhood of care LLC. Thankyou for listening to the
confessions of our reluctantcaregiver podcast.
Hey guys, it's your favorite sisters with the
Confessions of a reluctantcaregiver. Podcast. On the show,
you'll hear caregiversconfessing the good, the bad and
the completely unexpected.
You're guaranteed to relate, beinspired, lead with helpful tips
and resources, and, of course,laugh. Now let's get to today's
confession. You know, we looklike we look like. When I woke
(00:29):
up this morning, I thought I'mgonna do something for our
holiday special the end of yearreview. And I wanted to be like,
I had a different shirt on thatwas a little bit more like
silver and gold. And then Istarted thinking, e I'm getting
(00:51):
old. And so I thought, I'm gonnado red, and little did I know
when the screen would pop up. Soguys, if you're not watching on
YouTube, JJ is in green, and welook like the epitome of
Christmas
Unknown (01:07):
or the holidays, whatever we are the holidays. We
Natalie (01:10):
we are the holidays.
That's all I'm gonna say. Yeah,we are the holidays.
Unknown (01:16):
With the holidays.
However, I have some issues withmy background right now, but
this really is worth seeing.
Like you just need to pop in
Natalie (01:24):
your background is awful.
Unknown (01:29):
So we went to PBS, you know, so we would be all cool
and small
Natalie (01:34):
and have really good audio. People are probably like,
what's wrong with theiraudience? Wrong with
Unknown (01:38):
your sound? And but currently I am, I'm living in a
an RV with my husband. That isthe hardest thing I've ever
done.
Natalie (01:49):
How big is your RV? Is it 14 feet?
Unknown (01:53):
Come on. I mean, help me out here. It's like it's 34
feet. And I am in the bunk room,which is also known as the
closet. So I'm in the closet andtwo Bucha and everything is in
here, like there's foursuitcases. Well, this winter and
summer, we don't really have aplace to live, right? So we're
(02:15):
like, building the house, and soI'm on site. It's fantastic.
It's a little risky. So anyway,so if you hear any hammering or
anything going on, that actuallyis just construction, but, yeah,
it's a hot mess here, and it'svery like nerve wracking. So
that is what's going on in mybackground. Yeah, it sounds
nerve wracking. So, yeah. Sothat is, that is the current
state of my union, marriage andlocation. So there you go. I
(02:39):
feel like the president, anddon't even have to wait till
State of the Union. Let's
Natalie (02:44):
talk about JJ and her hot mess. So
Unknown (02:47):
you know, this is, I love doing this episode. This is
the favorite. This is becauselast year we talked about peeing
on ourselves, and that waspretty funny. I gotta say,
Natalie (02:56):
You know what, I still pee on myself. That's not
changed at all.
Unknown (03:04):
That is true, and you still text me about that issue,
like when you're running for thebathroom in Washington, DC,
Natalie (03:10):
oh yeah, at the Marriott. So anyone who met me
at the Marriott one it was goodthat I didn't have my dress
clothes on for a conference. Asa national conference I was at
and I didn't think about the DCtraffic, and I was like, I'm all
about land speed records. Is theproblem. I want to beat the land
speed record, but I literallyalmost made it to the bathroom.
Unknown (03:35):
And no, no, no, I just want a note all most so you know
you, you, we really focus oncaregiving for others,
Natalie (03:47):
but I don't care for myself.
Unknown (03:51):
So you really need to start making a plan, Natalie,
about that caregiving foryourself. And I just want to
say, as we always do duringthese situations, thank you
tena. Thank you
Natalie (04:02):
tena, because I'm going to tell you, because I mean and,
and thank you folks who carrytena of friends at CVS. You
know, I know where I can getthese essential products. You
know, I never thought that Iwould get to this place, that I
would be using some of thesimilar products as mom. I just,
I did not expect it. And somenopause has been, well,
(04:25):
perimenopause, it's beeninteresting. People are like,
are we going to talk about yourP problem? Talk about
caregiving. Let's talk aboutcaregiving. And so, and let's, I
was getting ready to say, let'ssing, let's dance. Okay.
Unknown (04:42):
Okay. So it, you know, we want to talk about some
updates, I mean, and at the endof the year, we always talk
about some, you know, first ofall, inspire life, yeah, and,
um, but, you know, there's hard,there's uh, there's definitely
funny, there's things that we'velearned. And so. This is kind of
like our 45 minutes of, hey,let's toss it out there. What
(05:03):
have we done this year? So, youknow, Natalie, let's what in the
world, what have you done thisyear? Like, really high level,
like, Okay, what, you know, any,like, big things this year, you
and Jason, because, I mean,that's sometimes a hot mess.
We're going on. What's going onat the handy house. Well, we're
handy,
Natalie (05:21):
that's what I'm gonna tell you. You know, it's funny,
because this is we don't talk alot. No, we do, we do. We do
talk a good bit, but about lifeafter caregiving, and really,
for us, there is no life aftercaregiving. It is intermittent
(05:43):
care, because, as folks know,Jason's a head and neck cancer
survivor. We're two years out.
We go back to New York. By thetime you hear this, we'll have
gone to New York for his nextcheckup. He goes on the 15th to
memorials on Kettering and thelast year has been interesting
life after like when we returnedhome. I mean, the reason we
(06:05):
started the podcast, if youremember, is because I couldn't
figure out what was wrong withme, and so we had to find our
new normal, and we had to saywe're going to be happy again,
even if it's not what we thoughtit was going to be. And so
people look at us and think, Oh,they've got the best life. And
they're look at Jason looksbetter than he's ever looked and
(06:26):
and the reality is is we're juststill a dumpster fire. I mean,
Jason, Jason, people ask me,like, How's Jason's taste? I'm
like, it's still crap. It's notcoming back. And
Unknown (06:39):
so he can't taste anything. Loves to cook. Oh,
people,
Natalie (06:44):
he can't. It's not that he can't taste anything, it's
that it tastes awful. And sothat's the that's the side
effect of having radiation toyour head. It's really highly
advised against, and I wouldadvise against it. It's awful.
And so we've just been trying tofind the new normal. And the
funny thing is, you would notthink he used to love to cook,
(07:07):
and it's, it's been this year.
It's taken him almost two yearsto come back to cooking, and
he's and he's more confident inhis cooking, because he can't
taste anything and tell you ifit tastes good. And so I
Unknown (07:23):
want to know that I am the guinea pig. When I come to
the house, it's like, JJ, we'regonna have this. And I'm like,
that's fantastic, you know, hisand then my main question is,
how does it taste? And I feellike, how does it I feel like, I
feel like, I'm like, one ofthose food reviewers at the
fancy restaurant. I'm like,Jason, I feel like, you know,
the meat is a little tough, butthe vegetables are fantastic. I
(07:44):
mean, he expects a full review.
Yeah, he does.
Natalie (07:46):
And he's still full of bad decisions, because he
doesn't have as much energy, andso he tries to push himself and
as a caregiver, because I amstill a caregiver, just because
Jason is has no no cancerdetected. Doesn't mean that I
still don't provide support tohim, but as a husband and wife,
(08:07):
he's, he provides, I mean, weprovide support to one another,
but there's those very distinctmoments. And for those listeners
who are out there, who are onthe other side of a of an
illness, that it's, it may be along term illness, like with
moms, we're always it neverstops. And so I think that we
ebb and flow in and out ofcaregiving responsibilities. And
(08:29):
it's funny, because I don't seeit well, but I can feel it in my
body. My body feels it in myshoulders. I start feeling more.
I start tensing up a little bitmore. I actually become more
bossy, if that's even possible.
Now, I know Jay, that'sshocking. Wait, let me think
Unknown (08:47):
about that. I don't
Natalie (08:51):
like Stop it. Don't do that. I call that direct. I
don't call it bossy. I'm justmore I call that evil. But no,
it's not, I know. So you know, Ithink this year has been Jason
and and myself, like Jason hadto find his groove, and I had to
(09:14):
find my groove as well, so thatwe made a good rhythm. We and
we, we still go up and down, andthe cancer will, it will show
its face every time he's sick.
His his illness is worse, and sohow do we deal with that? But
we've traveled some. We havemade accommodations for the type
(09:35):
of vacations that we take tomake sure that he it offers him
normalcy, and we and guess what,we still had a good time. So,
you know, and and he has, hecontinues to have clear scans,
but Jason has this. The partthat makes me happy is when he's
happy. And as a caregiver, Ithink we all feel that we just.
(09:58):
US want our loved ones to be ashappy as they can be, and
setting realistic expectationsabout what they can and can't
do. That's that the high for meis Jason built his planter box,
and he has he grew all kinds oftomatoes and peppers and all
kinds of things, and we ate outof the garden, and it was so
(10:19):
good from a health standpoint.
It was so good for him mentallyand emotionally, and it was and
he was so happy. And the bestpart was, with the plants, he
could actually taste a little.
He could taste he tastes morefrom the natural plants than he
does any other food. And sothat's always encouraging, it
doesn't, it seem like a novelidea that we'd eat more plants
(10:41):
that are normally grown, notprocessed. So, so Jay, I mean,
so I think for the most part, Isaid, you know, and we've done
stuff with with us, and we'lltalk about that a little bit
later. But personally, for Jasonand myself, besides moments of
killing each other. It's beenpretty good, yeah. Oh, and the
(11:02):
Beagle, and the Beagle gotsprayed by a skunk in the face.
Oh, that was bad. That was superbad when Daisy the Beagle,
because everybody can see rightbehind me, the little redhead
behind me, really struggled withmaking poor choices on the
Fourth of July, she got right upin a skunk and it sprayed her
face. And then I didn't know,and I let her in the house now,
(11:23):
as everybody's like, no, andthen I didn't realize not to
wash her with regular shampoo,and then we poured tomato juice
over top of her. Yeah, that
Unknown (11:35):
was it was bad care. It was not a good I was a terrible
caregiver,
Natalie (11:41):
and it took four months for the smell to get out. It was
bad. Of that dog's face
Unknown (11:45):
is bad. So yeah, we've been your worst. Yeah, that's
bad moment. It's good
Natalie (11:49):
possibility. But, um, that was a low. That was a that
was a low. How about you, Jay,what have you been up to? Well,
I would like the minutes toreflect that JJ is the very,
very primary caregiver for ourmom. Now you got to understand,
(12:12):
Emily and I are total caregiversfor our mom, but really, our mom
likes JJ best. It's true. So I'mgonna go ahead when I'm and I
think it's because she makes JJfeel the guiltiest. And Emily
and I have like, we're like, nottoday, and but, but my mom, my
(12:34):
mom, will call JJ every time,and then she calls Emily,
Emily's their second favorite.
And then there's any other humanon the earth, and then there's
me. And so I think I'm just, ifyou want to know what a true
confession is, and it's becauseI am the most like my mom. I am
the most like mom is true. Shedoes not want to hear her own
thoughts.
Unknown (12:58):
She's like, I'm not gonna call her okay.
Natalie (12:59):
So now that you know that JJ is the primary, Emily is
the backup, well, and I'm alwaysthe backup for anything
regulatory and stuff like that,to make sure that they they
don't actually like do awful,terrible things at the facility.
So Jay, how about your year?
Unknown (13:18):
Yes. Well, let's just start with a summary that there
are so many conversations withConnie that I could share. But
you know, we
Natalie (13:27):
should do conversations with Connie for next year. Yes,
I'm gonna show you, and I'mgonna do, you know what? I'm
actually thinking about doing alife with Jason and us starting,
and I think we may put this guyson Tiktok. So this will be
something new for next year, Jword, JJ, and I talked about
conversations with Connie. I'mtelling you people you would
really love,
Unknown (13:48):
and usually they involve 60 to 70 text over a two
minute period,
Natalie (13:54):
and COVID. Coca Cola.
We would love for you to sponsorus, and we can be paid for our
mom like there's not enough cokefor our mom. And wait, what's
the other what's her other Swissrolls, Little Debbie. Oh, my
God. And we see, I love littleDebbie's too. The Swiss cake
rolls and you peel the chocolateapart. Jay, yeah, yeah. Okay.
(14:15):
Anyway, sorry, I got distractedby cokes and Little Debbie,
Unknown (14:20):
focus, focus, focus.
So, no, it's been, it's been aninteresting year with mom. We
still, you know, it's hardsometimes, you know, as you
said, still feeling the guilt ofthe world here, let me show you,
like flush, my shoulders stillgo down, still. She has good
days and bad days, but as I'veas I watch her through the year,
(14:41):
I've seen we still continue tosee the decline. And you know,
we get the Jason where we'rereally excited, because there
are those up moments and thereare up moments with mom. But I
think with Mom, there's so manycaregivers we talk to that. We
hear that word anticipatorygrief, yeah, and it's there. And
(15:02):
I know that we feel it. We'vebeen doing it for over 20 years,
where mom's been struggling withParkinson's, but we see this
time now where I'm a lot ofthose, those symptoms I saw her
this past Thanksgiving, and alot of those things where she's
a little bit more confused, andthose things that I always
(15:25):
dreaded, those times that I wantto go out with her and do things
and and we're getting to thosemoments. And so even with people
on the podcast net that wetalked to about their lives and
how things kind of progress forthem. And I'm always like, oh
gosh, but I never think aboutthose in our own lives. That's
(15:46):
that's where we're getting to.
And so with each podcast that Ilisten to, or we talk to
somebody, I learn and I takeaway a lot, because that's kind
of where the year has been, isjust watching changes and being
more cognizant of those changes.
So for me, that's what I'mdealing with, because I'm always
(16:08):
struggling. You know, there'sbeen some, there's been a lot of
personal changes. For me, I'mlike, Really, what are you
doing? I mean, I'm not divorced.
My husband is still married toanother crazy stuff? Yeah, I
know, I know. I know
Natalie (16:23):
everybody needs at least one. Emily and I can't
read that.
Unknown (16:27):
So it has been funny, though. So we decided, you know,
we live in Florida. We moveddown there, and then we decided
we it hot.
Natalie (16:34):
Down there, it was hot.
Hey, Jay, it's hot. And you'rereally white and red
Unknown (16:40):
headed. We decided we wanted to move back to North
Carolina part time, right? Andso we started building a house.
Do you know
Natalie (16:47):
how Fauci that sounds?
We thought we'd live in NorthCarolina part time. Well,
Unknown (16:51):
I mean, it's not anyway, so, but we want to be
close to our kids. And so funnything is, we made this idea, you
know, like, well, we're gonnabuild a house. And then the
first thing I thought of was,well, we want to age in place.
So I need zero entry. I need tomake sure that, you know, I give
it to my safety location.
Natalie (17:09):
Okay, let's make sure people understand. Like, JJ,
you're not like a normal girl.
Like, that's true. Yeah. I mean,besides being wearing red and
green and looking likeChristmas, just in your in your
own self. What? What about youwere you had a contractor
license, and you thought Ishould get this certification,
because I don't have enoughstuff on my plate. Let's,
Unknown (17:33):
let's do this. I love.
I've loved since we started allthis, the concept of aging in
place, because we know thatpeople have better health
outcomes when they stay at home.
That's right, and that was oneof the issues that we had with
mom, was making the house safe.
And so once I started learningmore about it, like removing all
rugs and look at things that aretrip hazards, and look at
furniture and where is it, andlighting, you know, because I'm
(17:55):
practically going blind myglasses, I gotta have mom all
the time. And, you know, I gotmy certified Aging in Place
specialist with the HomeBuilders Association. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Very proudof that. So when we got these
plans for our house, I was like,that's not gonna work. Their
steps, their uniform floor, no.
(18:18):
And every door in my house extra
Natalie (18:22):
wide. I mean, Dexter is kind of wide. Anyway, it's I'm
not probably fat, but he'shusky.
Unknown (18:29):
Every door is 36 inches. Okay, every walkway is
like between my island and themain stove is 36 inches. We
didn't go with a gas about 36that's an it's a DA but you can
get wheelchairs through thereeasier to walk. We went with an
(18:50):
induction oven, which does notget hot. So that was a safety
thing for us, so you could touchit only. The pans get hot. The
pots get hot on it. There's justall kinds of things that's
pretty cool, where the outletsare. So I got really excited
about it. So now I feel likeI've made a positive choice, you
know. I'm like, What is youmaking? So, yeah, but the other,
(19:14):
you know, I'll say one morething, and that was, you know,
I've watched mom, and then wegot Dexter had a kidney stone.
I'm gonna tell you. I mean, I'vehad like eight kidney stones in
my life, ladies, if you're outthere, man, if you're out there
and you didn't complain, thatman was crying like a baby. And
I know they're painful, but I'mtrying to be insensitive. I'm
telling you, kidney
Natalie (19:34):
stone, childbirth.
Kidney
Unknown (19:36):
Stone, childbirth. But you know, there was, there were
some problems with it. And so hehad to go and have a CT scan, a
PET scan. And so they found someother things that were problems
with his health. And he, youknow, he's a little older. And
Natalie (19:53):
what do you like? What was her name? The model, what
was there? Anne Marie, oh,what's her name?
Unknown (20:00):
Oh, I remember she married that nine, yeah, but
yeah, that's so he's, it's notlike that, right? No, he's just
63 Okay, so he's not that old.
But anyway, when we got those, Iimmediately went into, first of
all, it was like, Oh my gosh. SoI panicked, because, you know,
Dad died young. He died at 58that's my heart, yeah. And so I
have this, you know, becausewe've got four issues that
(20:23):
they're like, we have someconcerns about this. We're going
to need to address these prettyquickly. And so I got freaked
out of it, and then I was like,caregiver mode. And so we went
to see a surgeon last Friday. Itook my notebook, I had my pen.
I was thinking about badassadvocate. I was thinking about,
I love her. You love hearingabout Aaron. I know. I was like,
I've got my notebook. And I wasasking those questions. I was
(20:45):
like, I'm gonna need to knowthis. So sister or sparkle?
Sisters really? Sparkle? Sister,yes, Michelle hop I was like,
writing all this stuff down, andI just hit that mode when I got
in there. I was like, so I'velearned so much so I wasn't, I
wasn't as freaked out as I mightpossibly have been. I gotta tell
you, I got back in the car, andI was a snot sandwich as I got I
(21:06):
was going home, and the reasonwas, then I had that anticipate,
anticipatory grief, like,Dexter's gonna die. And he
looked at me, and he was like,I'm not dying. I mean, you know,
first of all,
Natalie (21:19):
I mean, we're all dying. You know I'm the one that
burst the bubble? Well, we'reall dying. I feel like Mora from
anyway. So,
Unknown (21:30):
anyway, anyway. So, yeah, and so I went to worst
case scenario, and he was like,simmer down skillet. It's gonna
be okay. We're gonna pullthrough it. Okay. Anyway. So
that's, that's my year, but it'sbeen good, and I've learned a
lot. So, so that is my summer.
Has
Natalie (21:47):
it really been good?
Has it really there have beenmoments that had little
dumpstery moments, so there aredumpster
Unknown (21:54):
moments, and that is why I have created a lightning
round. We're gonna take, I knowwe're gonna take a commercial
break, we're gonna jump back in,okay? Do it, and then we're
gonna go Lightning, and it'sgonna be, it's gonna be hot and
crazy. Get ready. Let's do itall right.
Natalie (22:12):
I don't know about you, but my inbox is always cluttered
with useless emails. But there'sone I always open the
Confessions of a reluctantcaregiver newsletter. You may
say, Natalie, what makes yoursso special? Well, I'm biased,
but don't just take my word forit. Here's what our subscribers
say they love. First, it comesonce per month, and you can read
(22:35):
it in under five minutes. Nextyou'll find amazing tips and
resources to use in youreveryday life. And hook doesn't
love a recommendation thesesisters do, which is why we
share sister approved productsand discount links to save you
time and money. And of course,your first to know about the
upcoming month's confessions,just like our show, you're
(22:58):
guaranteed to relate, beinspired. Leave with helpful
tips and resources and, ofcourse, laugh. Go to our
website, Confessions of areluctant caregiver.com. To sign
up for our newsletter today.
Unknown (23:16):
All right, guys, we're back here
Natalie (23:17):
and we are about to hit the light and rain. Everybody's
shocked that you took thecommercial break. I know, I
think that you forgot. I knowwe're
Unknown (23:25):
having so much fun. I mean, I was ready to pee on
myself. That's all I'm saying.
Okay, thank God for tena. Okay,here it is, all right. Um, here
I got the questions. I got tocreate these. I'm super excited.
I do not create these questions.
You can tell JJ is in charge. II'm so excited. Okay, ready? So,
um, best moment of the year,something that you remember that
(23:46):
really sticks out for you.
Personal moment, best thing. Oh,personal moment. What can be
personal or tied to the it canbe anything. So it can be
anything. Personal. Podcast,mixed. What is it? You
Natalie (23:57):
know, what I best moment for me for the year,
professional, professional isgoing to be we, we started a
company to help people calledcare forward. It's and it was
based on, and so folks are like,what is this care forward thing?
Care forward is a technologyplatform that connects
(24:18):
individuals in need. And we havebeen those individuals in need
Unknown (24:24):
with
Natalie (24:26):
volunteers and community organizations, partner
organizations, who donate time,talent or resource and these
individuals, and the big thingis these individuals need
support within the next seven to10 days, or they could have a
negative health outcome. And soI think about us, when we were
(24:46):
trying to move Mom, we weretransitioning for her, from
skilled nursing to the or,excuse me, from the community,
to skilled nursing, and we hadall these items that were left
over. And honestly. You and Ineeded to shower pretty bad. We
smelled, oh yeah. We had beencleaning all weekend, moving
stuff out and trying to get momin, and we had these items, and
(25:12):
we couldn't sell them, wecouldn't donate them, we
couldn't even give them away.
And that's when care forward wasborn. Because we were like, We
got to be able to help otherpeople. There are other
caregivers, there are people inneed and and we believe in this,
and so we've been working on itfor the last year and some year
and a half, and it went livewith the city of Roanoke doing
our beta test. And we'repartnering with anthem health
(25:35):
keepers, plus Aetna betterhealth of Virginia, United
Healthcare and Sentara healthplans, and so we really, for me,
I think that's one of theproudest things that we've done,
and we could not have done itwithout being caregivers, to
have this personal, livedexperience and to go through
this hard and hearing thestories of our fellow caregivers
(25:58):
on the on here absolutelyinspired us and and the comments
that we have, the comments thatwe had from people online,
that's probably my proudest,
Unknown (26:16):
personally, professionally,
professionally, so so so mine isprobably my best moment,
proudest moment, like it's mybest moment, I guess. And that
was, and it's funny now how nowthe there's so much of our
professional and and personalthat tie in together,
Natalie (26:36):
it totally crosses over. We have no boundaries,
because
Unknown (26:41):
it's, it's so intertwined, like care even
become so much a part of yourlife. And so I would say my best
moment, which is funny, becauseit has to do with my worst
moment last year. Last year, myworst moment was when Medicare
said that mom was deceased, andthey wanted us to pay $7,000 for
(27:04):
mom's medicine. That was myworst moment. Like, I remember
we did that podcast and you saidthat was your funniest sort she
goes, it's too fresh for JJ, butit was awful. And it was it was
so hard. So this year probablymy best moment, my proudest
moment. And everybody may laughat this was my mom stirring
brownies. And if you haven'tseen the video, CVS Natalie made
(27:28):
the connection with CVS at aconference. And I know the lady
you talked.
Natalie (27:32):
I don't know any strangers. Thanks Kristen for
talking to me. The
Unknown (27:36):
lady that she when she said, I want to tell you a
story. I got to tell yousomething. And the lady was
like, Whoa, I don't want any badnews. And she told her the story
about how CVS helped us, and CVSmade it possible, I still get
Terry. They made it possible forus to meet Eileen, which was a
dream. Eileen friend, no, she'sthe lady that changed it for me.
(27:56):
When she told me, your mom'sgonna get her medicine, she
changed everything, and CBS cameout and videoed the story about
it, and mom got to meet Eileen,and Eileen changed everything
for us. And we sat there withEileen, and what we did as part
of the video, it just it allkind of naturally came about. We
made brownies in our kitchen,and mom stirred the brownies,
(28:20):
and she had this moment ofnormalcy, that's right, that was
just watching that and watchingit in the video, was like, this,
is this the best moment? Like,and she was so great. Looked
Natalie (28:33):
happy, and I don't know that it's been a long time since
Mom has felt like herself, andeven, and and after we got done,
she was exhausted. It was a lot,but it was a lot for us. It's a
lot for anybody, um, but it was,it gave it took her back to a
(28:54):
place where, I mean, our mom wasthe Director of Tourism for
Anderson County. We get this, weget this personality on us, like
she was a motivational speaker,which I always joked, who would
listen because but I'm herdaughter, so that's again,
that's why I'm fourth in line.
But, um, she did so great, andit was, it was a throwback. It
was a throwback because webreak. We made brownies. We
(29:14):
were, I know people have seenour photos on our website. I'm
not saying we were chunky kids,but we didn't miss a meal, and
we were kind of Husky, and wegrow them big in Tennessee and
so and so it was. It was areally, it was a shared
experience. Is what CVS gave us.
(29:38):
Because here's the thing, whatwe gave them was an opportunity
to highlight just one of thehundreds of 1000s amazing
employees they have. And yes,CVS is a partner, but guys,
they're not sponsoring thisepisode. No, we when we
genuinely talk about products orpeople, that's because we
genuinely believe in them. And.
And so but, and I'm all aboutrecruitment, retention, you
(30:02):
know, I'm super business mindedin that sense. But then we're
like, people need to know aboutEileen and that, and good
policies that make it so thatcustomers like we should expect
that Jay from businesses. Weshould expect businesses to have
common sense policies that maythat that support the customers
they seek to serve right period,but yeah,
Unknown (30:25):
but as you know, when we talked about this, you and I
talked about it yesterday, andit's so hard when you're a
caregiver, because you're alwaysadvocating for someone else. And
when I think back to thatsituation, and I think back to
Eileen, oh, she, she, sheadvocated for me, and she, she,
I listened to that, I thinkabout that story, and I reread
(30:47):
the blog I wrote, and she was myadvocate when I didn't think I
had anybody on my side, because,you know, I had you guys. We
were all trying to figure outthis problem, this, yeah, I'm
helpless, and I have thispension company saying we'll
just playing the $7,000 don'tworry, they'll pay you back
some. And that was the thing.
And I think it's when you findsomeone, it's a person, it's
(31:07):
anyone, it's a company, and whenthey're willing to advocate for
you and stand up for you, that'ssomebody that you're like
shouting from the mountain,yeah,
Natalie (31:19):
shop with you. Think about it, but I'm that way with
my hairdresser, until two messesup my hair. I am staying with
her. I am not a cheater, and soI am that way about like, where
do I get my makeup? Where, ifyou think about it, and it's
brand loyalty, because youbelieve the company cares about
(31:39):
you, yeah, and, and that's who Iwant to work for. Like, you
know, I mean, like, I want to, Iwant my employer to be that way
to me, because I am more thanjust my job, yeah, but you as
employer have to make it, yeah,you have to make it so that your
employees can do good things.
Oh, yeah. So anyway, that'stalking about business. That's
important, because, yes, youshould know businesses who are
(32:02):
caregiver friendly. You justare. That's it. It's like you
are approved. Your sisterapproved. Our sister approved.
We should be a sister approvedfor next year too. Like, okay,
this is your proof. This is agood thing. Okay, okay, okay.
Next question on lightninground, okay,
Unknown (32:19):
lightning round, let's see hardest, hardest moment,
hardest moment, probably a wordlike, just a difficult time. You
start. Okay, I worked. I worked.
Oh yeah, I worked. Like, almost.
So mom has a significant decayon her teeth because of
(32:42):
medication. She broke a toothand a tooth fell out, and that
happened in September andthrough December. I'm calling
and begging and asking thefacility then says, Hey, we're
sorry, you know, we lost thereferral and this and this and
this and and then they tell me,this is what was really that hit
(33:03):
me so hard. They tell me that,oh yeah, they'll have somebody
come in and pull mom's teeththere at the facility. And I'm
like, Whoa, hold up. That's anoral surgeon job. And when I
talk to mom about it, sheactually is so upset that at the
thought of of someone coming inher facility, and, you know, a
(33:24):
nursing home, and pulling yourteeth. And it hit me hard,
because I don't understand whypeople are treated differently,
the old, the elderly, the sickpeople, they shouldn't be
treated, especially if they'rein congregate care. Yeah, and,
and that was, I think that's,first of all, one of the reasons
why I'm like fight. I don'tunderstand that. That makes me
(33:44):
mad, and especially when I thinkabout people who don't have like
us, or somebody that's out thereadvocating, or somebody that
didn't know the story there wasnobody to tell and say, Oh, I'm
sorry. We have to because of apolicy. I hate policy. We're
going to have to do this onsite. I just don't understand
that and so. But in the end, italso took until May and me
(34:12):
finally making this appointmentfor mom to actually get those to
that those teeth fixed. And thatis and I and, you know, Mom has
insurance and things like that,but because of policy, because
of all this tape, as acaregiver, I felt so bad because
she didn't have a front toothnet. And it was just like, I'll
we'll just pay for it until wegot the money together and we
(34:34):
paid for this dental work,because nobody
else cared. And you're justpissed. I mean, let's just roll
it out there.
Make us an explicit I'm sorry. Inever swear, but that's your
mad. Look at me. I'm like, myface is red. Now you are I think
that's as a caregiver that waslike, and I know that's maybe
people are like, but it's somuch more than just it's just so
(34:56):
much more than teeth. It's like,Why does. Why is the system?
It's it. Why is it failing mymom? But why? Why is it failing
these people who, some theydon't have voices to speak for
themselves? Well, there's somany out there, and
Natalie (35:12):
think about it. It's also ultimately going to fail us
as the is the implicit thingthat's going on in the back of
your mind. You're like, what'sgonna happen when I get hold I
can't older or I need care.
Let's not even when I get older.
We don't even know what olderlooks like. Jason was 55 when he
was diagnosed with cancer, butJason also has back and neck
(35:34):
issues, and that was when he was49 and so it's insult to injury.
Was the cancer, and so go
Unknown (35:41):
ahead. Well, no, and I think what finally got me fired
up, and the it was almost likeyelling. I was like, I don't
think you guys understand thesearen't just teeth. And the lady
was like, Well, you know, we,you know, if we understand this,
and I was like, this is causingsocial isolation. She will not
go out of her room because shedoesn't want people to see her.
First of all, she cannot eat. Soshe's not being nourished
(36:05):
correctly. She's not being fullynourished. And she is she, she
cannot speak like this iscausing a speech problem. And
that is, you know, I thinkpeople are thinking, Oh, she's
got a broken tooth. There's somuch more to everything that you
don't address. And so that wasmy, you know, my advocacy, just
that was my fire. There it is.
Okay.
Natalie (36:26):
That was my heart.
We're gonna take a break. Thatwas really good back. You gotta
know your heart, and then I'mgonna tell you mine, because
people will be like, Nataliedoesn't feel anything. JJ, is a
soft one. I'm like, I do allright. I do you love to listen
to podcasts? So do we? And thesesisters are excited to support
(36:46):
our fellow sister in care,Nicole will host of navigating
the world with your aging lovedone as former guests ourselves,
we love how Nicole explores theworld of aging and care beyond
the informative interviews,Nicole's gathered helpful
resources and practical toolsthat encourage and give hope to
caregivers navigating the agingjourney with their loved ones
(37:09):
for a more meaningful andfulfilled life. You can find
Nicole wherever you downloadyour favorite podcast or go to
her website, www.willgather.com.
Unknown (37:27):
Okay, guys, we're back here, and I've been I've been
complaining about some teeth.
Natalie, what's your heart?
Natalie (37:33):
What's your heart? All right, two cards. First, hard is
simple. It absolutely breaks myheart when you are upset. It is
very hard that I can't help youand help mom, and that you carry
so much of the burden and it itis very hard for me, and as much
(37:57):
as it makes me cry, well, don'tcry. It's okay. It's because I
love you. I'm your sister andand, and this is important. JJ,
and I will argue. JJ, am I notargue? Let's make sure we're all
clear. Because people are likethese. Sisters are like rainbows
and unicorns. The hell we are?
No, we're not. No, we will arguewith each other. Because I you
know, this is about being realand so, but I will tell you
(38:19):
this, no matter how much we doour normal sister stuff, you
know, and what it is istypically, it's just life
stresses. Life stressors willimpact us and but in the end,
we're sisters, and we will neverlet anything come between us.
And caregiving has been reallyhard on our relationships, and
(38:41):
so I think if we would be remissif we did not say caregiving is
hard on our relationship and andit's not about coming to an
agreement on a decision. It'sjust the stressors and the
frustrations and, you know, andthe responsibilities, and when
you're have a person that you'recaring for that really just
(39:02):
wants one person to take thelead, it's if I were you, I
would sometimes be resentful ofme or Emily, because we don't do
as much as you do. I wouldtotally support you in your
resentment and and you arealways really good about telling
us when you need things you'rereally good about, like girls, I
need you to take the call Idon't have it. Or I need you to
(39:23):
Natalie, can you help me withthis? And I think that's really
important in advocating foryourself and to all the siblings
out there who are secondfavorite, third favorite, last
favorite, like myself. I'm withthat with Jason. I encourage you
to not just say, What can I dofor you? Jay, it's know your
(39:45):
sibling know what they're doingand then ask them to do some of
the things that they're doing.
Or, can I just listen for you?
Can I can I be an ear for you?
And I'm gonna, and we're gonna.
Talk, and I want you to let itall out, and I want you to say
all the things that make youupset, because if you hold that
in, it's gonna it'll negativelyimpact you. So just FYI remind
(40:08):
you of that, to make sure thatyou don't carry it by yourself,
because you have people willingto carry it with you. Thank you.
Thank you. That was really nice.
Thank you. Don't tell anybody Iwas nice, though. The other
thing, the other thing, thething that has driven me crazy,
(40:30):
because I will talk about Jason,is he? He continues, he
continues to make poor choices.
He will not tell me that. And Iknow there's lots of people who
can relate to this. He will nottell me when something is wrong.
He will hold it in. He will tellme, Well, I know you're busy, or
I know you're this, or there'snothing you can do about it, so
(40:54):
I didn't bother telling you. Andso every time we go to the
doctor, we do checkup, or thingslike that. He'll he might say
things randomly. And I'm like,why did you not tell me that?
Or, and it's so frustrating. OrI'll say you need to take more
frequent breaks when you'reworking on your personal
projects. Like you need to takemore breaks instead of going
(41:15):
out. And, Oh, perfect example,he mowed the yard. We have a
riding lawn mower. And you wereat our house, we have a riding
lawn mower. We just mowed. Thiswas almost a fight. This was a
full on you. If you die in thatbed. It was justified, because
your crap choice did it. I amsuch a hard Emily. If Emily was
(41:37):
on here, she'd be like, Natalie,you need to be nice to her. And
I'm like, No, I'm not going tobe nicer because he's laying on
the bed and his face is so palefrom where he walked the yard.
He walked with the right pushlawn mower, which is self
propelled, because he's got somelimitations so but he did too
much. It was too hot, and heoverheated. And that's the
(41:58):
hardest thing for me is I am aperson who likes structure and
control. I know that seemsshocking, yeah, and and he is
bound and determined to do itwhat he wants. And I have to
remind him that if he destroyshis body now, I will I I don't
know how I would care for him.
(42:22):
Jason's 50 he'll be 58 inJanuary, and if he's if he
destroys his body. Now I don'tknow what I would do. Yeah, I
don't know what I would do. Itscares me because, and I think
that's and I think ascaregivers. And here's the
selfish part. Ready for theconfession? I don't want to care
(42:43):
again like that yet. I don't, Idon't want, I want to do it when
we're in our 80s. I want to doit like, later in life, I
probably won't even want to doit then. Like, I just want to be
married and I want to be able todo things, and I don't want you
to do things that are gonna,that will, will make it harder
for you. It's aging you faster.
It puts
Unknown (43:04):
him at risk. And I think that's, you know, you're
like, take care of yourself. Imean, I can't take care of all
of you. Take care of yourself.
If
Natalie (43:11):
you won't take it, here's a problem. And this is
how I feel. This is unpopular.
If you won't take care ofyourself, I'm not taking care of
you. That's, do you know howmean that sounds, but if you're
gonna intentionally do it, thenI'm not going to take care of
you when you because I'm notgoing to be punished. That's
what it feels like, is, I feellike I'm being punished when he
makes more choices.
Unknown (43:32):
So that kind of leads us to the funniest moment.
Totally. That leads us to thefunniest but it also leads us to
kind of the, it's kind of thetake care thing, but it's kind
of the funny thing as well. Somom has an OTC card, which is
the over the benefit.
I'm glad you knew OTC. You'restruggling Well,
(43:55):
it's called OTC. I don't know.
It's over the counter,
Natalie (43:58):
over the counter. If it's not, you know, funny that
would be,
Unknown (44:01):
I know, she goes, she gets to go and pick up things at
different locations, of itemsthat she might need through her
advantage or Medicare Advantage.
And it's like the highlight ofthe month. Y'all,
Natalie (44:15):
we got money on that card, and I am burning it up
products. Jay, so,
Unknown (44:19):
so here's the deal. So I took her when I was in for
Thanksgiving. I took her and we,first of all, we hit CBS. I
mean, this is like a fullshopping trip, and it's
exhausting for me y'all, becausethere's a lot of gear you got to
carry. One like, holy smoke. Soit's like taking a little you
know, when you got to have thatbackpack, when you take out kids
and stuff. Well, I got it, no,not like that. I mean, I was No,
(44:41):
but gotta have water. I gottahave
Natalie (44:43):
it is like having a baby. Like, don't downplay it.
Like, she's got a rollator.
She's Got You gotta have awheelchair, because you don't
know if we're gonna go betweenthe wheelchair or the rollator.
Depends on how she's feeling.
She's gonna have to have all thethings. She's got her purse.
You've gotta have the basket.
How are we doing things? Like,don't downplay it. At that is
super important, fair
Unknown (45:01):
enough. Okay, so, so we went to CVS, and we did our her
normal shopping. She gets herbeauty supplies there, and some
of those are on there. You know,we really try, and she needs
coke. And this is her,like, this is her COVID,
this is her guilty confession.
And so, first of all, she getsthree cases of coke. And I'm
like, okay, that's 30 soda. So Ineed to know, though, I need you
(45:25):
to know that the day before,Emily had had her and she had
already gotten three cases ofcoke. So we're up to 76 cans of
Coke. Seven. Wait a minute, 3672cans of Coke. I can't even add
anymore. We're 72 cans of COVID.
That's like, an exceptionalamount of coke. Yeah, that's a
lot
Natalie (45:44):
of coke. And I was doing math, like, if there's 16
ounces times 72
Unknown (45:51):
then it's the Dollar General, because they also do it
Dollar General. Love you. Takeit Dollar General. And she says,
Oh, and I can get my stuff here.
And I'm like, okay, okay. And soI start helping her. We got our
little basket, and weimmediately, like, we're not
going through like, yogurt anddairy, and she means healthy
things. So because she has alittle fridge in her room, she
gets, like, snacks. So weimmediately go to chips and
(46:13):
salsa, and that's okay, and thenwe go to cookies. And I'm like,
Mom, mom, because she's lostsome weight, I'm a little bit
concerned about her nutrition,and so I'm noticing these
things. And then we get to Swissrolls, little Debbie's, which is
one of her favorites,
Natalie (46:30):
Satan's playground over there. I get it the best. So I
Unknown (46:33):
get the Swiss rolls. I get her the box. She asked for
it, and it's on the lower shelf.
So I get it, and she says, Ineed another box. I'm like, Are
you sure? And then they didn'thave another box. I was like,
Thank You, Jesus. There's notanother box of Swiss rolls. And
but we get to the front store,and I'm like, well, they have
another box. And then I see theI say, Mom, they've got another
box. I need that box. And I goget it. And then I say, Mom,
this is, like, the jumbo box. Ithas 24 and she was like, I need
(46:55):
it. I look at the other box, ithas 24 that is 48
Natalie (47:01):
Swiss rolls. Let's make sure that's 48 packages of Swiss
rolls times two, which is 96individual Swiss rolls sorted.
So
Unknown (47:13):
it is my funniest moment. It is like my and I get
to the, I mean, you guys don'tknow, like all of the junk food
that I bought. And then Istarted getting frustrated. I
was like, Mom, I feel like mom,when she was like, No, you can't
have that. We get to the front,and it's like the candy bars,
and I feel but then I'm like,JJ, it's my let it go moment
like to whatever. I don't evencare, mom, whatever you want.
Natalie (47:36):
Just load it up, the medicine or the sugar.
Something's gonna happen. Like,
Unknown (47:41):
Mom, what if she wants 48 if she wants them go to town.
And so I realized at thatmoment, it's my let it go.
Moment I'm just like, what else?
What else could I get? Yeah, youwant it. Do you want any
Mountain Dew? I mean, load itup. I will tell you that the
second part of my funny is thatwhen we went into the facility,
yeah, we start walking throughthere, and she is, got her she's
(48:01):
got a rollator. I have all thecokes on there. And she says,
Oh, hey, John, do you need acoke? Oh, hey, Luanne, do you
wantto show giving all those cokes
away? Coke out? Like, I swear toGod.
So that was my I was like, Mom,mom. And then I was like, I'm
supplying coke for a facility of75 people.
Natalie (48:23):
You're welcome nursing facility. We know how much.
That's
Unknown (48:27):
why I have to purchase so many Cokes. She is a
just coke pedaling, Swiss cakeroll dealer.
Natalie (48:36):
Swiss cake roll dealer.
What is she getting back? Is thequestion, did you ask her what
she's getting back from thosepeople? I
Unknown (48:43):
don't think anything.
Ellie, I think she just gets alot of joy from handing it
Natalie (48:47):
out. And here's the thing, let's find the silver
lining. It's because our mom hasalways wanted to help other
people. She really has, like,again, she has a servant heart,
and if it's she is dealingservice through Swiss cake
rolls,
Unknown (49:01):
okay with that. And you know, I feel like I'm probably
gonna need roles
Natalie (49:04):
because I'm kind of hateful, so I'm probably gonna
need that whenever I get into afacility, because nobody will be
my friend. Otherwise,
Unknown (49:12):
my lesson learned was just to let it go. So what's
your funny? What's your lessonlearned from it? I know, I know.
Oh,
Natalie (49:18):
you know what, Jay, it's at the end of our time. I
mean, I mean, I can't believewe're at the end of our time.
We're gonna have to, we're gonnahave to, okay, we're gonna have
to wrap it up a little bit.
Okay, okay, so I'm gonna tellyou this my funniest moment has
to be my inability to manage mymanage my bathroom breaks, and I
(49:42):
know that has nothing to do withcaregiving, but dang it, I need
to care for myself, and knowthat perimenopause is really
hard, and sometimes I don't havethe same bladder control. And I
know there's people going youshould. See a doctor for that?
And the answer is, I went tothis women's conference by
(50:03):
Senator Warner in Virginia lastweekend, and I listened to the
menopause conference, and therewas a panel of physicians who
were there, and they talkedabout it, and they were like,
yes, you there are things youcan do. And I'm like, really.
Unknown (50:17):
So here's, here's your lesson learned. You must care
for yourself as
Natalie (50:20):
much and carry an extra pair of panties in your under
and you're okay. That is yourlesson learned, and that's my
brothers, and that's that's thego. Okay, so Jay, let's talk
about what's coming up in thenew year,
Unknown (50:30):
absolutely. So here you go. So I do have a couple I have
one question. I'm proudestmoment in the podcast last year,
this past year, one moment thatyou were like, This is stellar.
I'm so proud of this that I wasable to contribute this to the
audience. Okay,
Natalie (50:43):
so I don't want people to think that I play favorites.
Ready? Caregiving youth.
Caregiving youth series, and I'mgonna tell you I loved our
choral series. So we had achoral series talking about the
impact of your of dry mouth onyour overall health and
(51:04):
wellness, because that'ssomething very personal to Jason
and myself, and so if youhaven't heard that series,
people I'm telling you, got togo back and listen to it. It's
on YouTube. We had six amazingprofessional practitioners who
came and gave you everything.
Thank you to our friends at acoral and lots of sponsors for
that. That was that. Butcaregiving youth, because these
(51:27):
and they are truly hiddencaregivers, and we don't see
children as caregivers. Andhaving worked in the foster care
population for 25 years, theprivilege of getting to talk to
these our youngest, I think, was14, and them talking about
caring for their loved ones.
They are, you know, from Kaylinto Aditya to, I mean, every one
(51:48):
of these, these youth, thesisters from Australia, my girls
from from Canada, and I justhave to tell you, it was
absolutely the proudest momentand the organizations who
support them, kids kickingcancer. Kristen, you've got so
many I'm going to tell you, youcan listen to all of our special
(52:09):
series. It's not that people. Ilove heroes. I absolutely love
heroes. But we in the UnitedStates do not recognize the
impact that youth are having incaring for other people. Yeah,
that's my proudest moment,
Unknown (52:26):
I would say for me, because I do love heroes. I love
all the guests, first of all.
But if you were talking about asegment, and I think my proudest
moment was the ability with oursponsors to put out the PBS
series. But what that did whenwe put out the and I say,
series, but the the program thatwas done with us by PBS
Appalachia, when we put out thatspecial, it wasn't just about
(52:49):
the show itself, the programitself, but the fact that we got
to meet those individuals,personally amazing, and to see
them in action, To have dinnerwith them, but to see these fun
and vibrant and just funnypeople that have been through so
much, these veterans, andthey're, they're just, you see
(53:10):
the situation, and you see thatthey're, they're, they're just
making it. They're thriving.
Natalie (53:19):
Tom and Jack JP and Crystal Jose and Quinn, Bob and
Gretchen, like, and Angelina andher dad, oh, my God. Like, yeah,
Unknown (53:31):
I say that. You say they're thriving, but I know
that they have hard moments, andthey're open to talk about them,
but they're just like, You knowwhat? We're just gonna trudge on
through the mud and we're gonnamake it, and they're honest
about it. And I think that wasprobably my proudest, was to be
able to do that. I do lovemilitary. Yeah, I do love that.
So, okay, here it is. So we'rejust going to talk light around
us, because there's some, thereis some crazy stuff going on
(53:53):
next year, what do you got?
Natalie (53:55):
Okay, we have officially moved to PBS, yeah,
and we will be recording intheir state of the art studio,
in in the Hard Rock Hotel andCasino people like, it's gonna
be crazy awesome. And so if anyof our guests ever want to come
(54:17):
and record in studio with us,there will be You are welcome. I
guys, we are so excited topartner with PBS and the hard
rock to record down there thatis going to be amazing. And
we're sort of doing this littletelevision show just,
Unknown (54:32):
yeah, just a 10 part series program, yeah, I'm just
super excited about that. Yeah,take care and it is health,
lifestyle and home. It's goingover a little bit of everything.
It is not just for caregivers,but it
Natalie (54:50):
is for everybody. It's, How do you age? Well, yeah,
yeah. Hey, let's put the Sizzlerreal. Let's put the Sizzler.
Let's do that. Show Notes, guys,you got to watch the Sizzler.
It's hilarious. We playpickleball. I was
Unknown (55:03):
gonna say we play pickleball. So that is, that is
one of the fun things, andanother thing that we're excited
about, yeah, our
Natalie (55:10):
partners at NCL, we're going on a cruise. And we're not
only going on a cruise onNorwegian and it's for
caregivers, but it's foreveryone. And we also have
cohorts. And so we have CarrieAlberts with dementia, darling.
We have we have Kristen Miller,Miller with happy, healthy
caregiver. We have Cindy andKristina from AAC corner. Who
(55:35):
else we have? We
Unknown (55:36):
have Terence Hawthorne, which is caregivers lifestyle.
He's amazing with him and hiswife, Lucretia, and we have
Kristen of Kristen and Keys,keys for caregiving. So we've
got, we have got a crazy groupof fun people who love life, and
you want to talk to everybody.
Natalie (55:53):
It's better than a hallmark cruise. And I love you
Hallmark, I know.
Unknown (55:57):
And we're on a new year. There's
a lot of just it. I thinkthere's a lot of different
differentiating things that aregoing on with the sisters. Oh,
Jay, we got training too.
Natalie (56:08):
January. Holy crap, guys, you're gonna see this
January 23 we're gonna be doingwe're gonna be doing a training
guy, McCall and I with forgehealth, are gonna be doing a
four part training, and it'sfree, and we're probably gonna
have credits, continuingeducation credits, and it's like
a playbook. Oh, it's totally aplaybook on caregiving people.
We're looking to do youthcaregiving series again, and Jay
(56:32):
The Hero series, the heroes,it's
Unknown (56:35):
coming back, and where's it gonna be located.
It's
Natalie (56:37):
gonna be in a big, giant White House, is what we're
trying to do. Oh, guys, it's ait's a big white house. Is what
we're trying to do. We'respeaking this into existence
that we're going to getpermission to go and record in
the Big White House. So we'llkeep you posted. This is going
to be good. We
Unknown (56:56):
are super excited about what's to come. We are so
thankful for everybody that hasworked with us, that has helped
us grow. We're at our listeners.
I know we're at over 300,000streams so and we're in 54
countries, and if we can doanything, you know we're our
email is always open. Info atConfessions of a reluctant
(57:17):
caregiver.com. Tag us like us,follow
Natalie (57:23):
us, email us with everybody. Is what we're gonna
ask. Because here's the thing,we're all going to be
caregivers. All right, you know,the, the the four way test, I
mean, it's, it's really about,it's what Miss Carter talked
about. Rosalyn Carter talkedabout and our friends at the
rosalin Carter Institute. Youknow, we'll either have been a
caregiver. We will be acaregiver. We are a caregiver
(57:47):
that's not in the right order,or we will need care. That's the
thing. It is universal. We willall need care or be cared for.
And I say that with the utmostrespect to our friends at RCI,
our friends at Wounded WarriorFisher House Foundation. I mean,
I think about all the people.
Elizabeth Dole Foundation,possible, all the people. There
are so many partners we've hadthis year and so many
(58:08):
organizations that we have, wehave been had the privilege, the
privilege of learning about theprivilege of getting to share
with you. And Sharon is caring,and I'm going to tell you lots
of great podcasts. We got lotsof friends out there, so we're
always we're happy to crosspromote because there is more
than enough caregivers out thereto be supported for all of us.
(58:30):
Yeah, so Jay,
Unknown (58:34):
I cannot say thank you enough, and I wish everyone a
very, very fruitful andwonderful new year 2025 it's
gonna be big. It's gonna be big.
Forward to it and a veryhealthy, healthy happy new year.
A healthy, happy New Year.
Natalie (58:55):
To everyone, everybody, thank you so much for listening
to your favorite sisters. I knowthat JJ is your favorite. It's
fine, it's okay. We're used toit. Currently, Emily is the
favorite of both of us, so welove you, Emily. All right,
guys, happy New Year, and hereis to a big fat 25 Well,
(59:20):
friends, that's a wrap on thisweek's confession again. Thank
you so much for listening. Butbefore you go, please take a
moment to leave us a review andtell your friends about the
confessions podcast. Don'tforget to visit our website to
sign up for our newsletter.
You'll also find a videorecording of all of our episodes
on the confessions website andour YouTube channel. Don't
(59:42):
worry. All the details areincluded in the show notes
below. We'll see you nextTuesday when we come together to
confess again. Till then, takecare of you. Okay, let's talk
disclaimers. You may besurprised. To find out, but we
are not medical professionalsand are not providing any
(01:00:03):
medical advice. If you have anymedical questions, we recommend
that you talk with a medicalprofessional of your choice, as
always, my sisters and I, atConfessions of a reluctant
caregiver, have taken care inselecting speakers, but the
opinions of our speakers aretheirs alone. The views and
opinions stated in this podcastare solely those of the
(01:00:26):
contributors and not necessarilythose of our distributors or
hosting company. This podcast iscopyrighted, and no part can be
reproduced without the expressedwritten consent of the
sisterhood of care LLC. Thankyou for listening to the
confessions of our reluctantcaregiver podcast.
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