July 8, 2025 • 14 mins
Have you ever caught yourself saying, "Just one more thing to do, then I can relax"? That sneaky mental trap might be stealing your joy right now.
This week, I'm diving into the dangerous "if only then" cycle that keeps so many of us chasing an ever-moving finish line. You know how it goes—if only I can clean the kitchen, then I'll enjoy making dinner. If only I finish the laundry, then I can play with my kids. If only I lose five more pounds, then I'll feel good about myself. Sound familiar?
What I've discovered is that there's a profound disconnect between our time and our values. We say we value rest, connection, and joy, but our to-do lists take priority. Last Thursday, after a week of postponing fun, I had my wake-up call. The house would never be perfectly done, so why keep waiting? That impromptu pool day with my kids taught me more than a week of productivity ever could.
Instead of letting your to-do list run your life, what if you build your schedule around what you value most? I'll share my game-changing "connection calendars" system and four practical steps to break free from the endless cycle: identify your values, schedule value-based time first, reframe your tasks from obligations to choices, and learn to declare "enough." Because peace isn't waiting at the end of your to-do list—it's available right now, in the middle of the mess.
Are you ready to stop postponing joy? What have you been putting off that you could give yourself permission to enjoy today? Share this episode with a friend who might need this reminder, and join me next week for more ways to stay confidently beautiful.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ciera (00:03):
You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
, a podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
we all have confidence inside us.
We just need to bring it outand I'm here to show you how
Body image, dreams, parenting,style, personality and more.
Here we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
Ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
(00:28):
Hello, welcome back to thepodcast.
I am so happy you chose to tunein.
If you are brand new, welcome.
My name is Ciera.
I am the host of this podcastand I help moms to feel
confidence and bring joy intotheir lives.
Last week we had an amazingepisode.
It was episode 71.
So if you missed that, you'regoing to want to go back and
listen because it was a hugelypopular episode.
It was with licensed marriageand family therapist, Lyndsey
(00:49):
Troccoli, and she talked allabout motherhood and mental
health and the different stagesof motherhood and mental health
throughout all of the differentstages, and it was a very, very
well-received episode.
I got a lot of people sayinghow much it helped them and it
obviously showed in the numbers,because it was one of my most
listened to episodes within thefirst 48 hours of it being
(01:11):
available.
So that was a really excitingmoment for the podcast and I am
so happy that we got to haveLindsay on, because I think that
mental health is hugelyimportant and something that we
all need to be more aware of.
Last week I found found myselfjust thinking if only I can
clean up the kitchen, then wecan go out and do something fun.
If only I can get two morethings done on my to-do list,
(01:33):
then we can go out and dosomething.
If only I can finish theseloads of laundry, then we can go
do something.
I found myself saying this tothe kids.
If they were asking me, like,let's go do something, what are
we going to do fun today?
Then I would just say I justneed to get this done, I just
need to get this done.
And it was just constantly allweek long.
And then Thursday came and Iwas like you know what?
We are not going to be doinganything fun because there is
(01:57):
always going to be somethingelse to do and I will always
feel like there is somethingmore than I could be doing.
So I just decided in the lateafternoon on Thursday I texted
my mom and said can we use yourpool?
And we just went over and wewent swimming, and you know what
it was great it was that Istill got home and there was all
the things that I still wantedto get done, but I was able to
(02:18):
just unplug for a minute andjust enjoy the moment of summer
and going swimming, and that wasreally, really a good moment
for me and a good wake up callfor me.
So today we're going to betalking about that sneaky belief
so many of us carry that ifonly I could just finish this
one more thing, then I'll feelbetter, then I'll be more
(02:39):
present, then I'll be more atpeace.
But what if that moment neveractually comes?
There's always going to besomething else.
This if only then mental loopcan come up in so many different
areas of our life.
The example that I gave waswithin my home.
If only I can get the kitchenclean, then I can actually enjoy
making dinner.
(02:59):
If only I can get through allthese loads of laundry, then I
can sit down and play with mykids.
If only I can get all thebathrooms cleaned, then I can
have a movie night with myfamily.
That shows up in our motherhoodmoments and our household
moments, but it even can show upwith work.
If only I can get through theseemails, then I can feel like I
(03:21):
can finally breathe and I cantake a break.
If only I can get this projectdone, then I will be able to
relax and finally hit this goalthat I've been trying to get.
It can also happen with ourself-worth.
If only I can lose five morepounds, then I'll feel good
about myself.
I need to get some familypictures.
So I don't like any of myclothes.
I don't feel really great inany of them, so I'm just going
to wait.
If only I can just get a fewmore clothes, then I can take
(03:43):
the family pictures and thenpretty soon, what do we know?
The family movie nighttime haspassed.
The picture season that youwanted has passed.
Your work deadline has come andgone and you still feel
stressed out and you haven'teven had a break.
So what's really going on here?
There is a disconnect betweentime and values.
We say we value rest,connection or fun, but then our
(04:08):
schedules or our to-do liststake over.
Do we really value those things?
Are we waiting for permissionto enjoy our life?
Are we waiting until we can getthat next thing done and then
we can go have some fun?
Who are we trying to earn itfrom.
Are we feeling like we need areward, like we need to work
hard so we can get the reward?
We keep chasing a finish linethat just keeps moving.
(04:32):
We keep running forward towardsit, but it gets further and
further away and all it does isit leaves us burnt out and
disconnected from the things weactually care about and value
the most.
So what do you value?
Do you value sitting down andspending time with your kids,
looking them in the eye?
Do you value that time foryourself on a Sunday evening to
(04:56):
do your nails, do a face mask,watch a show, get ready for the
new week?
Do you value that time withyour spouse to actually go on a
date and not think about all ofthe things that you have in your
to-do list, but actually bepresent and have fun?
So what are your values?
I know for me, some of my valuesare connection.
(05:16):
Connection is a huge value forme and it's something that I've
been working really hard on thisyear.
I have talked about it before,but I have my connection
calendars and I have differentcalendars for different people
in my life and every singlemonth I have a specific
connection that I want to dowith that person, because I
found myself thinking, oh, okay,I want to take my son to this
(05:37):
really cool new arcade placethat just opened, oh, but I need
to do this first and this firstand then.
And then, like everything keepscoming and I look at the
calendar and I'm like, okay,what Saturday can I take him?
Well, this Saturday I reallyshould probably spend mowing the
lawn and cleaning up the yardand getting ready for the new
season.
Oh, but then this next Saturday, like I have a whole bunch of
(05:57):
stuff that I want to do.
I wanted to get all thesefreezer meals done.
I wanted to do all these things.
And oh, this next Saturday,well, we have a dance rehearsal,
we have a piano recital, andthen I need to get some other
things done in there too.
So, and then, before I know it,like the new arcade place has
been open for months and westill haven't even gone.
And so I have found thatconnection for me.
(06:17):
I need to have an intentionalconnection every single month so
that I don't fall into this, ifonly then mindset trap, because
I am, I do this all the time.
So that's been one hack that Ihave found.
I determined that connection isa value for me, and so I have
then found how can I pre-plan tomake these connections super
(06:42):
important and priority so thatthis cycle doesn't continue and
eventually I find that it's beenfour months and I haven't done
the thing that I actually reallywant to do and the thing that
it means the most to me.
Another way to break this cycleis a mindset shift.
So, instead of thinking, ifonly I can get the bedroom
completely clean and picked upall the toys, then I will let
(07:04):
myself.
Go take the kids to the park,try flipping it.
Go take the kids to the park,Try flipping it.
And what if I say I am going tobuild my to-do list around what
I value the most, instead ofletting my to-do list run my
life?
So that could look like is ifyou were wanting to take your
kids to the park, but you have alist of three things that you
(07:26):
need to get done you need to goto the post office, you need to
pick up the groceries and youneed to get your master bathroom
cleaned.
Okay, those are your threethings on your to-do list, but
you're like you know what Ireally want to go to the park.
What you could do is you couldtry and just pre-determine your
time and put your values first.
So, yes, the things still needto be done, but the park needs
(07:48):
to be done first.
So maybe you get up maybe 30minutes earlier than normal
because you're going to put inthat time to get what you value
the most in and you're going toget up 30 minutes early.
You're going to clean yourbathroom before you get in the
shower, then you're going to getin the shower, you're going to
go throughout your day, you'regoing to go to the park and then
you can go and run your othertwo errands, go to the grocery
store and go to go to the postoffice.
(08:09):
So you can just adjust thingsto make sure that you're putting
what you value the most.
And it might mean you need towake up a little bit earlier.
It might mean you need tosacrifice a little bit of
something else to be able to getwhat you value.
Maybe you're mindless scrollingon your phone, like you can put
your phone in the bedroom andsay I'm not touching my phone
today because I catch myselfjust mindlessly scrolling, and
(08:30):
that accumulates to 45 minutes,to an hour that you have just
wasted, like whether it's 10minutes here, 10 minutes there,
and you know, and that just addsup, and so then you can break
that cycle of if only this, thenthat, and you can put your
values first.
So the first thing you need todo is figure out your values.
What do you want more of thisweek?
(08:50):
Do you want more peace?
Do you want more laughter?
Do you want more connection?
Number two build yourvalue-based time first.
So start your day with 10minutes of joy before you do
something else.
So wake up 30 minutes early andmaybe spend a couple minutes
for yourself doing something,then get something done and then
just go in immediately intosomething that is value-based
(09:13):
and something that you arewanting to do.
Number three reframe your tasks.
So I'm choosing to do thisbecause it supports my bigger
goal versus.
I have to do this.
So I am going to choose to getup 30 minutes early and clean
the bathroom so that we can goto the park today and I can take
my kids out to do this.
So I am going to choose to getup 30 minutes early and clean
the bathroom so that we can goto the park today and I can take
my kids out to do something fun.
Number four is just to declarethat it's enough, like let's let
(09:34):
a task be good enough for todayso that you can move on.
Maybe your goal for the day wasthat you needed to go through
your emails.
You had dance emails, you hadschool emails, you had all these
emails.
As we're getting closer andcloser to August, I'm sure
you're noticing your inbox isstarting to fill up with more
and more things for fallregistration and soccer sign up
and football sign up and all thethings.
So maybe you just tell yourselfyou know what?
(09:56):
I don't have to get completelythrough this list this morning.
I'm just going to let it begood enough that I got a couple
things done, because a couple isbetter than nothing, and then
I'm going to go and I'm going todo something that I value and
something that is going to bringsome joy and some happiness
into my life, and something thatis actually going to be
worthwhile.
Because, yes, the soccer campsand the dance camps and school
(10:19):
emails, those are importantthings and they do need to be
done, but your values mattermore.
So put your values first andjust tell yourself that the task
can be good enough for todayand you can move on and you can
come back to it and schedule joylike you would a deadline If
you wait for it to happen,naturally it's not going to,
(10:39):
because that to-do list isalways going to keep coming.
That finish line is going tokeep moving and moving, and
moving and you're never going tobe completely done.
So have joy along the way.
Schedule your joy within yourlife and don't wait for
something to be done to be ableto enjoy.
If your little two-year-oldcomes up to you and wants you to
read a book, stop what you'redoing.
(10:59):
Read them the book.
Sometimes we can't stop.
I get that.
Sometimes we do need to finishwhat we're doing and that is
totally okay and I don't wantany mom guilt to be coming in.
But if it's something thatyou're you know you're doing, is
it really just take a second?
Is this really more importantthan doing something that I
(11:20):
value?
I value my children, I value myrelationship with my children
and my connection?
So you're going to stop whatyou're doing.
You can take a few minutes andyou can read the book and then
you can get back to it.
I realize this can be so hardto do as a mom because you want
to feel like you're managingeverything.
You don't want to feel likeyou're behind, but what I have
(11:41):
found is when I can actuallytake those times to take a break
and reset and connect and calmmy mind, then I feel like such a
better mom and I feel so muchmore confident in so many
different areas.
And you need to remember thatyou are allowed to live a full,
beautiful, joy-filled life, evenif the dishwasher isn't
(12:05):
unloaded.
It's okay if the dishwasherisn't unloaded.
It's okay if the dishwasherisn't unloaded.
It's okay if you still have twoloads of laundry that you need
to get done.
It's okay if you're living outof the laundry basket for the
week.
Last week we lived off of mybedroom floor.
You know what?
Like it's okay.
I got all the laundry cleaned.
I dumped it in a pile in mybedroom, meant to all week long.
It started on Monday All weeklong.
I meant to all week longstarted.
It started on Monday all weeklong.
(12:26):
I meant to put it away.
I would get like maybe fiveitems put away and then I'd get
interrupted and so by the timethis weekend came, it was still
on the floor.
But you know what?
It's not a big deal.
I put it all away today.
It's today is Sunday and it'snot a big deal.
Life went on and we could stillhave beautiful, joy-filled
moments.
It goes back to what Lindsay wassaying in episode 71, the last
(12:50):
episode.
What are?
I think she called them primarypriorities and secondary
priorities, I think is how sheworded it.
So the secondary priorities arethe things like laundry and
dishes and cleaning your toilet,and you know the things that
are not going to be a big deal.
So get your basic needs metfirst and then also make sure
(13:11):
that you're getting your valuesmet, because that is so
important.
We do not want life to justpass us by.
Peace isn't waiting at the endof your to-do list.
It's available for you rightnow, in the middle of the mess.
A good journal prompt that youcould do to reflect on this and
to see how you are with this isthink about what have I been
putting off until later that Icould give myself permission to
(13:32):
enjoy today.
Is there something that yourkids have been asking to do?
Is there something that yourhusband has been asking to do?
Is there something that youhave been wanting to do?
Have you been wanting to signup for a class?
Have you been wanting to have agirls night?
Have you been wanting to go seea certain movie?
Is there something that you'vebeen wanting to do that you've
(13:54):
been putting off?
So journal this, think about itand then take some time to
actually schedule it into yourschedule.
Make it a priority.
Remember your values and sharethis episode with a friend who
you think might need this.
Keep showing up, keep choosingjoy and stay confidently
beautiful.
I'll talk to you next week.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram@confidently beautiful podcast
(14:16):
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
Stay confidently beautiful.
You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
, a podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
we all have confidence inside us.
We just need to bring it outand I'm here to show you how
Body image, dreams, parenting,style, personality and more.
Here we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
Ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
(00:28):
Hello, welcome back to thepodcast.
I am so happy you chose to tunein.
If you are brand new, welcome.
My name is Ciera.
I am the host of this podcastand I help moms to feel
confidence and bring joy intotheir lives.
Last week we had an amazingepisode.
It was episode 71.
So if you missed that, you'regoing to want to go back and
listen because it was a hugelypopular episode.
It was with licensed marriageand family therapist, Lyndsey
(00:49):
Troccoli, and she talked allabout motherhood and mental
health and the different stagesof motherhood and mental health
throughout all of the differentstages, and it was a very, very
well-received episode.
I got a lot of people sayinghow much it helped them and it
obviously showed in the numbers,because it was one of my most
listened to episodes within thefirst 48 hours of it being
(01:11):
available.
So that was a really excitingmoment for the podcast and I am
so happy that we got to haveLindsay on, because I think that
mental health is hugelyimportant and something that we
all need to be more aware of.
Last week I found found myselfjust thinking if only I can
clean up the kitchen, then wecan go out and do something fun.
If only I can get two morethings done on my to-do list,
(01:33):
then we can go out and dosomething.
If only I can finish theseloads of laundry, then we can go
do something.
I found myself saying this tothe kids.
If they were asking me, like,let's go do something, what are
we going to do fun today?
Then I would just say I justneed to get this done, I just
need to get this done.
And it was just constantly allweek long.
And then Thursday came and Iwas like you know what?
We are not going to be doinganything fun because there is
(01:57):
always going to be somethingelse to do and I will always
feel like there is somethingmore than I could be doing.
So I just decided in the lateafternoon on Thursday I texted
my mom and said can we use yourpool?
And we just went over and wewent swimming, and you know what
it was great it was that Istill got home and there was all
the things that I still wantedto get done, but I was able to
(02:18):
just unplug for a minute andjust enjoy the moment of summer
and going swimming, and that wasreally, really a good moment
for me and a good wake up callfor me.
So today we're going to betalking about that sneaky belief
so many of us carry that ifonly I could just finish this
one more thing, then I'll feelbetter, then I'll be more
(02:39):
present, then I'll be more atpeace.
But what if that moment neveractually comes?
There's always going to besomething else.
This if only then mental loopcan come up in so many different
areas of our life.
The example that I gave waswithin my home.
If only I can get the kitchenclean, then I can actually enjoy
making dinner.
(02:59):
If only I can get through allthese loads of laundry, then I
can sit down and play with mykids.
If only I can get all thebathrooms cleaned, then I can
have a movie night with myfamily.
That shows up in our motherhoodmoments and our household
moments, but it even can show upwith work.
If only I can get through theseemails, then I can feel like I
(03:21):
can finally breathe and I cantake a break.
If only I can get this projectdone, then I will be able to
relax and finally hit this goalthat I've been trying to get.
It can also happen with ourself-worth.
If only I can lose five morepounds, then I'll feel good
about myself.
I need to get some familypictures.
So I don't like any of myclothes.
I don't feel really great inany of them, so I'm just going
to wait.
If only I can just get a fewmore clothes, then I can take
(03:43):
the family pictures and thenpretty soon, what do we know?
The family movie nighttime haspassed.
The picture season that youwanted has passed.
Your work deadline has come andgone and you still feel
stressed out and you haven'teven had a break.
So what's really going on here?
There is a disconnect betweentime and values.
We say we value rest,connection or fun, but then our
(04:08):
schedules or our to-do liststake over.
Do we really value those things?
Are we waiting for permissionto enjoy our life?
Are we waiting until we can getthat next thing done and then
we can go have some fun?
Who are we trying to earn itfrom.
Are we feeling like we need areward, like we need to work
hard so we can get the reward?
We keep chasing a finish linethat just keeps moving.
(04:32):
We keep running forward towardsit, but it gets further and
further away and all it does isit leaves us burnt out and
disconnected from the things weactually care about and value
the most.
So what do you value?
Do you value sitting down andspending time with your kids,
looking them in the eye?
Do you value that time foryourself on a Sunday evening to
(04:56):
do your nails, do a face mask,watch a show, get ready for the
new week?
Do you value that time withyour spouse to actually go on a
date and not think about all ofthe things that you have in your
to-do list, but actually bepresent and have fun?
So what are your values?
I know for me, some of my valuesare connection.
(05:16):
Connection is a huge value forme and it's something that I've
been working really hard on thisyear.
I have talked about it before,but I have my connection
calendars and I have differentcalendars for different people
in my life and every singlemonth I have a specific
connection that I want to dowith that person, because I
found myself thinking, oh, okay,I want to take my son to this
(05:37):
really cool new arcade placethat just opened, oh, but I need
to do this first and this firstand then.
And then, like everything keepscoming and I look at the
calendar and I'm like, okay,what Saturday can I take him?
Well, this Saturday I reallyshould probably spend mowing the
lawn and cleaning up the yardand getting ready for the new
season.
Oh, but then this next Saturday, like I have a whole bunch of
(05:57):
stuff that I want to do.
I wanted to get all thesefreezer meals done.
I wanted to do all these things.
And oh, this next Saturday,well, we have a dance rehearsal,
we have a piano recital, andthen I need to get some other
things done in there too.
So, and then, before I know it,like the new arcade place has
been open for months and westill haven't even gone.
And so I have found thatconnection for me.
(06:17):
I need to have an intentionalconnection every single month so
that I don't fall into this, ifonly then mindset trap, because
I am, I do this all the time.
So that's been one hack that Ihave found.
I determined that connection isa value for me, and so I have
then found how can I pre-plan tomake these connections super
(06:42):
important and priority so thatthis cycle doesn't continue and
eventually I find that it's beenfour months and I haven't done
the thing that I actually reallywant to do and the thing that
it means the most to me.
Another way to break this cycleis a mindset shift.
So, instead of thinking, ifonly I can get the bedroom
completely clean and picked upall the toys, then I will let
(07:04):
myself.
Go take the kids to the park,try flipping it.
Go take the kids to the park,Try flipping it.
And what if I say I am going tobuild my to-do list around what
I value the most, instead ofletting my to-do list run my
life?
So that could look like is ifyou were wanting to take your
kids to the park, but you have alist of three things that you
(07:26):
need to get done you need to goto the post office, you need to
pick up the groceries and youneed to get your master bathroom
cleaned.
Okay, those are your threethings on your to-do list, but
you're like you know what Ireally want to go to the park.
What you could do is you couldtry and just pre-determine your
time and put your values first.
So, yes, the things still needto be done, but the park needs
(07:48):
to be done first.
So maybe you get up maybe 30minutes earlier than normal
because you're going to put inthat time to get what you value
the most in and you're going toget up 30 minutes early.
You're going to clean yourbathroom before you get in the
shower, then you're going to getin the shower, you're going to
go throughout your day, you'regoing to go to the park and then
you can go and run your othertwo errands, go to the grocery
store and go to go to the postoffice.
(08:09):
So you can just adjust thingsto make sure that you're putting
what you value the most.
And it might mean you need towake up a little bit earlier.
It might mean you need tosacrifice a little bit of
something else to be able to getwhat you value.
Maybe you're mindless scrollingon your phone, like you can put
your phone in the bedroom andsay I'm not touching my phone
today because I catch myselfjust mindlessly scrolling, and
(08:30):
that accumulates to 45 minutes,to an hour that you have just
wasted, like whether it's 10minutes here, 10 minutes there,
and you know, and that just addsup, and so then you can break
that cycle of if only this, thenthat, and you can put your
values first.
So the first thing you need todo is figure out your values.
What do you want more of thisweek?
(08:50):
Do you want more peace?
Do you want more laughter?
Do you want more connection?
Number two build yourvalue-based time first.
So start your day with 10minutes of joy before you do
something else.
So wake up 30 minutes early andmaybe spend a couple minutes
for yourself doing something,then get something done and then
just go in immediately intosomething that is value-based
(09:13):
and something that you arewanting to do.
Number three reframe your tasks.
So I'm choosing to do thisbecause it supports my bigger
goal versus.
I have to do this.
So I am going to choose to getup 30 minutes early and clean
the bathroom so that we can goto the park today and I can take
my kids out to do this.
So I am going to choose to getup 30 minutes early and clean
the bathroom so that we can goto the park today and I can take
my kids out to do something fun.
Number four is just to declarethat it's enough, like let's let
(09:34):
a task be good enough for todayso that you can move on.
Maybe your goal for the day wasthat you needed to go through
your emails.
You had dance emails, you hadschool emails, you had all these
emails.
As we're getting closer andcloser to August, I'm sure
you're noticing your inbox isstarting to fill up with more
and more things for fallregistration and soccer sign up
and football sign up and all thethings.
So maybe you just tell yourselfyou know what?
(09:56):
I don't have to get completelythrough this list this morning.
I'm just going to let it begood enough that I got a couple
things done, because a couple isbetter than nothing, and then
I'm going to go and I'm going todo something that I value and
something that is going to bringsome joy and some happiness
into my life, and something thatis actually going to be
worthwhile.
Because, yes, the soccer campsand the dance camps and school
(10:19):
emails, those are importantthings and they do need to be
done, but your values mattermore.
So put your values first andjust tell yourself that the task
can be good enough for todayand you can move on and you can
come back to it and schedule joylike you would a deadline If
you wait for it to happen,naturally it's not going to,
(10:39):
because that to-do list isalways going to keep coming.
That finish line is going tokeep moving and moving, and
moving and you're never going tobe completely done.
So have joy along the way.
Schedule your joy within yourlife and don't wait for
something to be done to be ableto enjoy.
If your little two-year-oldcomes up to you and wants you to
read a book, stop what you'redoing.
(10:59):
Read them the book.
Sometimes we can't stop.
I get that.
Sometimes we do need to finishwhat we're doing and that is
totally okay and I don't wantany mom guilt to be coming in.
But if it's something thatyou're you know you're doing, is
it really just take a second?
Is this really more importantthan doing something that I
(11:20):
value?
I value my children, I value myrelationship with my children
and my connection?
So you're going to stop whatyou're doing.
You can take a few minutes andyou can read the book and then
you can get back to it.
I realize this can be so hardto do as a mom because you want
to feel like you're managingeverything.
You don't want to feel likeyou're behind, but what I have
(11:41):
found is when I can actuallytake those times to take a break
and reset and connect and calmmy mind, then I feel like such a
better mom and I feel so muchmore confident in so many
different areas.
And you need to remember thatyou are allowed to live a full,
beautiful, joy-filled life, evenif the dishwasher isn't
(12:05):
unloaded.
It's okay if the dishwasherisn't unloaded.
It's okay if the dishwasherisn't unloaded.
It's okay if you still have twoloads of laundry that you need
to get done.
It's okay if you're living outof the laundry basket for the
week.
Last week we lived off of mybedroom floor.
You know what?
Like it's okay.
I got all the laundry cleaned.
I dumped it in a pile in mybedroom, meant to all week long.
It started on Monday All weeklong.
I meant to all week longstarted.
It started on Monday all weeklong.
(12:26):
I meant to put it away.
I would get like maybe fiveitems put away and then I'd get
interrupted and so by the timethis weekend came, it was still
on the floor.
But you know what?
It's not a big deal.
I put it all away today.
It's today is Sunday and it'snot a big deal.
Life went on and we could stillhave beautiful, joy-filled
moments.
It goes back to what Lindsay wassaying in episode 71, the last
(12:50):
episode.
What are?
I think she called them primarypriorities and secondary
priorities, I think is how sheworded it.
So the secondary priorities arethe things like laundry and
dishes and cleaning your toilet,and you know the things that
are not going to be a big deal.
So get your basic needs metfirst and then also make sure
(13:11):
that you're getting your valuesmet, because that is so
important.
We do not want life to justpass us by.
Peace isn't waiting at the endof your to-do list.
It's available for you rightnow, in the middle of the mess.
A good journal prompt that youcould do to reflect on this and
to see how you are with this isthink about what have I been
putting off until later that Icould give myself permission to
(13:32):
enjoy today.
Is there something that yourkids have been asking to do?
Is there something that yourhusband has been asking to do?
Is there something that youhave been wanting to do?
Have you been wanting to signup for a class?
Have you been wanting to have agirls night?
Have you been wanting to go seea certain movie?
Is there something that you'vebeen wanting to do that you've
(13:54):
been putting off?
So journal this, think about itand then take some time to
actually schedule it into yourschedule.
Make it a priority.
Remember your values and sharethis episode with a friend who
you think might need this.
Keep showing up, keep choosingjoy and stay confidently
beautiful.
I'll talk to you next week.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram@confidently beautiful podcast
(14:16):
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
Stay confidently beautiful.
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