Empowering Tips to Manage Mom Guilt

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Introduction 

• Welcome: 
  • Confidence high and confidence low
  • Giveaway! 
• What to Expect: I will share three takeaways you can use to help manage mom guilt.

What is Mom Guilt? 

• Define Mom Guilt: feeling like you're not doing enough or that you're falling short as a mom
• Why it’s Common: Societal pressures, personal expectations, and comparison.
• Acknowledge the Emotion: Guilt is normal but doesn’t have to take over our lives. I think guilt is a good reminder for us of where we can be better and adjust our priorities. It doesn’t mean we aren’t doing a good job. 

Takeaway #1: Focus on the Present, Not the Past 

• My Practice: Focusing on the present, not dwelling on past mistakes or regrets.
• Grounding Techniques: Grounding myself helps me stay connected with my children and correct mistakes lovingly. 
• Implementation Tip:  
  • Feeling guilty or overwhelmed - Get outside. 
  • Look at their hands. 
  • Think of my mom 
  • Breathing and affirmations 
  • Ask for help 
• Mindset Shift: Each moment is a fresh opportunity to try again and show love.

Takeaway #2: Prioritize Self-Compassion 

• What is Self-Compassion?: Treating yourself with the same kindness you would show a friend. Think of my future self as my best friend! 
• Why It Helps with Guilt: Self-compassion can soften feelings of guilt and build resilience.
• Implementation Tip: Practical ways to be kinder to oneself - positive affirmations, journaling moments of success, recognizing small wins.
• Affirmation Examples:, 
  • “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
  • “I can always try again”
  • More in my instagram highlights

Takeaway #3: Set Realistic Expectations 

• Pressure to Be Perfect: Many moms feel pressure to do it all, perfectly.
• Letting Go of Unrealistic Goals: Release the need to be "supermom" and set more realistic, attainable goals.
• Implementation Tip: Use a priority list—what must get done today, what can wait, and what doesn’t matter. (Holiday cards, special holiday traditions, picture perfect moments) 
• Reframe Success: Success as a mom is not perfection, but connection and effort. Perfectionism kills progress. 

Conclusion and Encouragement

• Recap: Focusing on the present, practicing self-compassion, and setting realistic expectations.
• Final Encouragement: You are an amazing mom. Managing guilt is a journey, not a destination.
• This is Us & Parenthood quotes.

"I can’t be a perfect mom, but I can be a good one. And that's good enough for them." – This Is Us

"Being a mom is hard,

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a podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
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(00:26):
, hello.
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I am so happy to be talkingtoday and we are going to be
talking about something that Ithink a lot of us, as mothers,
can really relate to.
And to start off this episode,I thought it would be fun to
start off with a confidence highand a confidence low.
It's been a while since I'vedone these I used to do these a
lot where I just share aconfidence high that I've had

(00:46):
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It's always really great tohear different confidence highs
and different confidence lowsfrom different moms, so share
yours.
I'd love to hear it.
So my confidence high for thisweek was that I was able to
confidently help one of mychildren navigate some of their

(01:06):
big emotions that they werefeeling and I was able to remain
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implement into my parenting andI was able to remember them to
help them navigate this hardmoment for them, and that felt
really really good.
My confidence low for the weekwas definitely my house.

(01:29):
It is even still like, as I'msitting here recording this,
looking around, it is still adisaster, and so I just have not
been feeling like I have beenable to stay on top of things
with my house, and that has beenreally, really hard to try and
get rid of.
That negative feeling of likereflecting on myself and having

(01:49):
the clutter in the house being areflection of me and knowing
that sometimes things just getreally messy.
Like my husband's been very,very busy, we just haven't had a
lot of extra time to be pickingup all the stuff and we've
gotten a little bit lazy withour habits of putting things
away right away, and so it justit's a reminder be better about
putting things away right awayand not let the reflection of

(02:12):
the mess.
That doesn't mean that I am abig mess.
I just need to remind myselfthat.
So that's my confidence low.
We all have those and it's okay.
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People say like a lot of timesthat like how do you have a
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Today we are going to be talkingabout how we can find peace and
confidence as a mother as weare managing our mom guilt.
Mom guilt is something that weare all, as mothers, guilty of
feeling.
We all feel it, and I'm goingto share three takeaways that

(04:01):
you can use to help you manageyour own mom guilt, because it's
something that we will all feeland we will all have to try and
navigate.
And it's not.
I don't like to think mom guiltis necessarily a bad thing, but
it's something that I thinkthat we can try and work better
at navigating through thosefeelings and taking, like, the

(04:22):
shame and the negative contextaway from it and just taking it
more as a sign and anopportunity to grow as a mom.
So, basically, in a nutshell,what mom guilt is.
I think we all know from feelingit is just feeling like you're
not doing enough or that you'refalling short as a mom.
I felt that this week as Ilooked around my house and my

(04:44):
house is so cluttered and evenstarting to get too dirty and I
feel that way like, oh, thisisn't fair to my kids to be
living in this and you know, Ifeel all those negative thoughts
that can come into my head,negative emotions.
It's so common to feel this.
Every person feels this.
Who is a parent.
They feel some sort of guilt.

(05:04):
You're not present enough withyour kids, you snapped at your
kids, you're not providingenough joy or opportunity for
your kids.
Like there's so many thoughtsthat we have as parents that
come into our head that can betranslated into guilt, and I
think that, like there'spressures from people around us
that maybe we feel like thereare certain expectations that

(05:25):
the world has that we need tomaintain, our own personal
expectations that we feel likewe need to maintain.
I think comparison is I mean,comparison is the thief of joy,
like that.
That quote is so true in somany areas of our life, and and
if we spend a lot of timecomparing ourselves to other
families or to other situations,then I think it can take a lot

(05:51):
of guilt on into our life andbring a lot of that negative
feeling.
I think idolizing other womenas like they've got it all put
together, they've got it likewhatever, and just like the
little snippets that we see ofeither of their life, what
social media portrays or littleconversations we have we don't
always have the big picture, ormaybe we do have the big picture

(06:13):
, maybe that mom is justliterally rocking it.
But I also think that there isreally something awesome about
acknowledging those moms thatare having their moments of
awesomeness and just being soproud of them and like like I
could be so happy for myselfthis past week when I helped my
child navigate their feelingsand I was able to take all of

(06:36):
the things that I have beentrying and learning and able to
help.
And so I think celebratingother moms around us but not
letting their victories andtheir good moments and their
shining moments make us feel anyworse about ours, even if we're
in a really lower moment, beingjust genuinely happy for them
and not letting their happymoment put guilt onto us Does

(07:00):
that make sense?
I just think that that issomething that you can kind of
spin that you could take on tolike social media portrayals or
conversations or whatever it isthat you see, and then also
remember that you don't alwayshave the big picture.
I think to acknowledge thosefeelings is also fine, like, I
think, to feel if you have afeeling of like well, I didn't

(07:23):
do this for my kids, this persondid this, or I really shouldn't
have snapped at my kids whenthey were just asking for help,
or whatever it is that you'resaying, I think to acknowledge
that you're feeling those thingsis important, like those
feelings, I think can be a goodreminder for us of where we can
be better and where we canadjust our priorities and how we

(07:44):
can just become a better mom ingeneral, but it doesn't mean
that we aren't doing a good job.
My first takeaway I mean I kindof already have gone into it,
but my first takeaway is tofocus on the present, not the
past.
I like to try and focus onliving in the moment.
It brings more joy into myhouse.
It brings more joy to me notdwelling on all the mistakes
that I've made, and I thinkthere's a fine line, like you

(08:07):
definitely want to remember themistakes that you've made so
that you can learn from them andnot make them again, but don't
like dwell on them so much thatyou're just letting that guilt
overtake you.
And I have a lot of mistakes, alot of mistakes that I have
made as a mom and I willcontinue to make mistakes every
day.
I am not perfect.
I remind my kids of that allthe time.
I am so not perfect.
I make mistakes all the timeand I just try and take those

(08:28):
mistakes and I try and learnfrom them.
I definitely have moments whereI am having my own pity party,
but I think to try and justfocus on okay, well, what can I
do now?
What am I doing right now andwhat can I do?
Going forward and not dwellingon the past too much is really
important.
Whenever I am in the moment andI am feeling that guilt come on,

(08:48):
I like to take a step outside.
I do this with my babies whenthey're screaming.
I do it with my toddlers.
I sometimes will just take themoutside and just go look around
, go see what you can see innature, just get some fresh air.
And I find for even for myself,as I'm feeling like those
feelings of overwhelm or guilt,it helps me so much to just get

(09:09):
outside.
I also like to look at my kids'hands just when they're having
their moments of melting down orI'm having moments of like wow,
I, I have not done enough forthem.
I just look at their littlehands and I remember that they
are just tiny little people andit really puts in perspective to
be present and focus on thatmoment.
I also think of my mom, becauseI know my mom wasn't perfect,

(09:32):
but I still remember having anamazing childhood and so I can
think of think of it in thatperspective of like I would
never want my mom to feel likeshe failed, because I don't
think she did.
And so I think of her and justkind of, and that helps bring me
back into the moment.
Breathing and affirmations, Ithink, are so helpful.
And asking for help.

(09:52):
This is something that I'mstill trying to learn, but
asking for help before you getto your breaking point, before
you are over the edge, saying toyour husband when he walks in
the door, I need you to take thekids, I need a 10 minute walk.
Or calling a mom or a friendand say, hey, let's go to the
park, let's just get outtogether, or maybe not even
getting being able to be withsomebody, but just call somebody

(10:14):
and just hear another voice orjust to say, like this is really
, really hard and just talkabout it and then to focus on
the present after that.
It will help you to rememberthat each moment is a brand new
opportunity to try again andshow more love.
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And now let's get back to theepisode.
My takeaway number two is toprioritize self-compassion, so
treating yourself with like thesame kindness that you would
show a friend.

(11:18):
Think of your future self asyour best friend.
Like what is future Sierragoing to want from this moment?
Like she's not going to want tofeel this way, and so how can I
treat her the best way that Ican?
If Sierra came to me and said,well, I did this to my kids, or
I didn't do this for them, or Iwas away for this much time,

(11:40):
then am I going to sit there andsay, wow, you're a terrible
mother?
Like no, I would never.
I would never do that to any ofmy friends.
I would never do that to my mybest friend.
So why do I do it to myself?
So I think of myself as my bestfriend.
My future self is my bestfriend.
And as I'm talking to myself,like how how can I talk to

(12:03):
myself in a way that is going tobe loving and to help ease the
guilt?
This just helps me to have alot more self-compassion, can
soften my feelings of guilt andhelps me to kind of build
resilience and to just rememberthat I can try again.
It's each moment is a freshopportunity to try again.
Some ideas of like how you couldhave the self-compassion
moments and to grow this kinderway of speaking to yourself is

(12:28):
to put a note in your phone andanytime that you have like a
personal win, a moment ofsuccess, write it down in a note
in your phone or keep a journalwhere you write down your
moments of success, even thesmall ones, like don't just
think of just the really bigones, but even the small ones,
even that random, like playingon the playground and then all

(12:48):
of a sudden kid runs towards you, gives you the giant hug and
says I love you, mom, and thenruns back to this to the slide
to keep playing.
Just even those small things,those are small wins, those are
small moments, so that when wedo have those feelings of guilt
and overwhelm and frustrationwith ourselves, come then we can
remember and we can maybe lookback and read some ourselves.
Come then we can remember andwe can maybe look back and read
some of our entries, of thesesmall wins and small moments,

(13:10):
saying like a positiveaffirmation through your head
I'm doing my best and that isenough.
I can always try again.
Each moment is a fresh start.
Something like that in yourhead can really really be
helpful to kind of rewire yourthinking in your brain and to
thinking different thoughts.
I have on my Instagram I have ahighlight that's saved I think

(13:30):
it's called phone wallpaper andI have some affirmations that
you can save and you can justput them on your phone.
So anytime you pick up yourphone to unlock it, then you
have this affirmation and it'sjust a subtle reminder of oh
yeah, it's okay, I don't need tobe perfect at this and and I
can do this.
The third takeaway is to setrealistic expectations.
We I talked about this uh, Ithink it was a couple episodes

(13:54):
ago when I had posted on myInstagram about, like, what
helps you to be a confident mom.
Realistic expectations was onethat a lot of people said.
I think that this goesperfectly with mom guilt,
because if we acknowledge thatmost moms probably all moms feel
pressure to do it all and thatwe all want to do it perfectly,

(14:17):
then we will know like that'snot realistic, nobody can do it
perfectly.
Okay, we're all feeling that weall feel like we have the
pressure.
Realistic, nobody can do itperfectly.
Okay, we're all feeling that weall feel like we have the
pressure, but like that's not arealistic expectation that we
can have on ourselves.
So I would just encourage youto release the need to be super
mom I'm talking to myself here,too like, release the need to be
super mom and set morerealistic and attainable goals.

(14:38):
Like don't don't try and likehave a 30 page to do list for
the summer and think that, yeah,by the end of the summer we're
going to have had the bestsummer of our lives and it's
going to be amazing and we'regoing to do all these things.
And then feeling like at theend of summer like you failed,
like pick two things and that'sOK.

(14:58):
We're coming up on fall breakand I was asking my kids and
they, they have highexpectations up on fall break.
And I was asking my kids andthey, they have high
expectations.
They were.
I was like what do you want todo over for fall break?
And my oldest was like, oh, Ihave a plan and she goes in
about her whole plan over fallbreak.
And then when I asked my littleboy what he wanted to do, then
he was like I want to go hereand here and here and here.

(15:20):
And so for both of them I hadto be like, okay, those are
really good ideas.
Let's maybe pick one and let'ssee what we can do, because we
may not have time to do all ofthem.
So I'm trying to set theirexpectations of okay, we're
probably not going to be able todo 10 things over fall break.
Let's pick one.
If we can do more, awesome.
If not, that's okay.
We did the one thing that wereally wanted to do.
So I'm doing that with my kids.

(15:51):
Why am I not doing it withmyself?
Why am I not setting myexpectations to be more
realistic?
I think if we can do that, itwill eliminate so much guilt
because I even me I'm going intothis fall break knowing, okay,
we're only going to try and doone thing.
I have five days off of school.
We're going to try and do onething.
I think that's doable, I thinkthat's attainable, I think I can
doable, I think I can do it andI think that that is a really,
really practical, easy way tonot eliminate mom guilt, because
I don't think we're ever goingto eliminate it, but to lessen

(16:13):
the mom guilt.
Use a priority list.
When I do brain dumps, then Ifind it really helpful to kind
of just brain dump everythingand then just to go through and
circle like what really matters,like what's really important,
and oftentimes there's a lot ofthings on that list, but do they
really matter?
Like no, they don't.
And so, if I can just kind oflet go of those and just I mean

(16:36):
I don't have to forget them butjust focus on okay, I don't have
to like really really do this,like I can.
I can maybe just do thesenecessities and still feel
really good about it.
Christmas cards that's onething that I I've been so often
on all the years.
Sometimes I do and sometimes Idon't.
But if I have a year that I'mjust like, nope, it's not in the

(16:58):
budget, it's not in my timecapacity, it's not in my mental
capacity, like nope, we're justnot doing it and I skip it, then
I just let it go, it's fine,it's not a big deal if I don't
do them.
You can do that with anything.
The special holiday traditions,those picture perfect moments.
If you were trying to go into asituation and you had it exactly

(17:18):
in your head like this is howit's going to be, this is how
the kids are going to behave,like, just let go of all of that
, because it's sometimes justnot going to happen and that's
okay.
Your success as a mom is notabout perfection.
It's about your connection withyour kids and your effort.
Perfectionism is just going tokill any progress to become a
better mom, to become a betterperson, to become a better wife.

(17:40):
Whatever it is you're trying todo, it's going to kill it if
you have perfectionism in yourhead.
So set those realisticexpectations.
So a quick recap the threetakeaways are focus on being
present, don't focus on the past.
Prioritize self-compassion andset realistic expectation.
You are all amazing moms, everymom who's listening to this.

(18:03):
You're amazing and I can saythat confidently because I know
If you're taking the time tolisten to a podcast like this,
you're trying.
You are trying to be a bettermom.
So I can say that and I knowanyone who's listening.
Yep, I know it, I know it.
You've made it to the end ofthis podcast episode.
You are putting in the work.
You're an amazing mom andManaging our mom guilt is a

(18:25):
journey.
We're never going to master it.
We're going to have days wherewe're going to just feel guilty.
We're going to have momentswhere we're just like, wow, I am
not living up to what I want tobe, and that's okay.
Those are reminders to realignour priorities.
Maybe we need to correctsomething and it's okay.

(18:45):
Those are just learning moments.
But don't let that feeling ofdisappointment in yourself or a
feeling like you're failingovercome you or define who you
are.
I have two TV shows that Ireally love that are like about
parenting this Is Us.
I think a lot of us can say,yes, like we love this Is Us.
And the TV show Parenthood it'san older one.
I have two quotes that us cansay, yes, like we love, this is

(19:06):
us.
And the TV show parenthood it'san older one.
I have two quotes that I wantto share from both of these TV
shows, because I think that theyjust like sum up all of this so
perfectly.
So from this is us, it says Ican't be a perfect mom, but I
can be a good one, and that'sgood enough for them.
Our kids don't want us to beperfect, they just want us to be
good, and I think that's sowell said.
And then from parenthood beinga mom is hard and we don't

(19:29):
always get it right, but thelove is there.
Even in the mistakes, even whenwe're yelling at our kids, even
when we forget to do somethingthat we promised them that we
would do, even when we don'tlive up to their expectations we
don't get something the waythat they had it in their head
the love is still there, theintention is still there and

(19:49):
we're going to make mistakes.
Even in the mistakes, we stilllove them.
I would encourage you to try andtake one of these tips and just
try it today.
It'd be something so simple,and I would love to hear about
your experiences, if you haveanything, and I'd also love to
hear any other takeaways thatyou have.
I know there's so many waysthat we can manage our mom guilt
and tips and tricks that we canuse to help improve our

(20:12):
emotional well-beings as momsand to become just better moms
in general.
Thank you so much for listening.
If you loved this episode, Iwould love it if you would send
it to a mom who's doing a goodjob.
Send it to them, tell themthey're doing a good job.
Leave me a review.
It really, really helps thispodcast.
It helps more people be able tofind it and we can help more

(20:34):
moms eliminate their mom guiltand become more confident in
their motherhood.
Thank you, our next episode isgoing to be a great one, so you
are going to want to tune intothat.
It will be airing next week andI can't wait to talk to you
then.
Stay confidently beautiful.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram atconfidently beautiful podcast
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could

(20:56):
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
Stay confidently beautiful.