November 13, 2024 • 17 mins
What if you could transform every uncomfortable experience into a stepping stone for growth? On Confidently Beautiful with Ciera, we unravel the crucial difference between what is genuinely hard and what is simply uncomfortable. From conquering new workout challenges to hosting social gatherings that push you beyond your comfort zone, understanding this distinction can drastically change how you approach life's hurdles, building both confidence and resilience. Through personal anecdotes and insights, we explore how embracing discomfort can catalyze personal transformation, empowering you to become a more self-assured and resilient individual.
I open up about my own journey through a medical emergency with my newborn, sharing the emotional highs and lows and the strategy of taking small, manageable steps. By distinguishing between the truly hard and the merely uncomfortable, we discuss how to transform the daunting into the doable. This conversation is a beacon of encouragement and support, offering strategies for personal growth and bolstering self-confidence for parents navigating similar trials.
1. Introduction
Have you ever felt like some goals or dreams are just too hard? Maybe you wonder if motherhood, marriage, or self-care just isn’t meant to feel this challenging?
- Brief Overview: Introduce the concept of “hard” versus “uncomfortable.”
2. The Difference Between Hard and Uncomfortable
- “Hard” refers to something that’s almost impossible to accomplish due to limitations, like physical barriers or major life constraints.
- “Uncomfortable” refers to things that push us out of our comfort zones but are achievable and lead to growth.
3. Why Discomfort is Essential for Growth
- When we’re uncomfortable, we’re forced to grow and adapt. It’s in these moments that confidence is built.
4. Steps to Embrace Discomfort
- Step 1: Recognize When It’s Just Discomfort
- Pause and identify if something is “hard” or “uncomfortable.”
- Tip: Ask yourself if this is truly impossible or just something you haven’t done before.
- Example: Half marathon training
- Step 2: Reframe Discomfort as Positive
- Step 3: Set Small, Doable Challenges
- Step 4: Celebrate Small Wins
5. Real-Life Stories of Embracing Discomfort
Uncomfortable: Pushing Outside Comfort Zones
- Starting a Fitness Routine
- Taking Time for Self-Care
- Asserting Boundaries
- Trying New Approaches in Parenting
- Getting Socially Involved
Genuinely Hard: Limiting Factors Beyond Control
- Parenting During a Serious Health Crisis
- Severe Financial Hardships
- Caring for a Family
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ciera (00:03):
You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
, a podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
we all have confidence inside us.
We just need to bring it outand I'm here to show you how
Body image, dreams, parentingstyle, personality and more here
we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
Ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
(00:29):
Welcome to today's podcast.
I am so happy that you are hereand tuning in and I cannot wait
to dive into another awesomeepisode.
This podcast is just it'sdefinitely one of the highlights
for me to record.
I love sitting down andplanning out an episode.
Having ideas randomly pop intomy head while I'm in the shower
or driving kids around or doingwhatever, and then to actually
sit down and record an episodeis so much fun, and I am so
excited because I have a episodethat I have been planning and
(00:51):
working out with some people andwe are going to hear from some
amazing, amazing women, and I amso excited for you to hear that
episode.
If all goes as planned, it willair the end of November, so be
watching for that one, becauseit is one that is going to
inspire you and help you want tobe a better mom and person and
dream chaser and everything, andit is going to be so good.
(01:12):
I am so excited.
Today I want to talk about thedifferences between something
that's hard and something thatis uncomfortable.
Are you in something that's ahard season genuinely hard or
something that is justuncomfortable?
It doesn't mean theuncomfortable isn't hard.
The uncomfortable can still behard, but which one is it and
how can we help distinguish thatto help us feel more confident
in how to navigate our waythrough a certain situation?
(01:33):
So have you ever felt like somegoals or dreams are just way
too hard?
Maybe you've felt likemotherhood or marriage or just
like taking care of myself ortime for myself should not be
this challenging.
Why is it so challenging to gothrough this?
Hard and uncomfortable are twovery different things.
Oftentimes, our goals and ourdreams can feel really, really
(01:58):
challenging, and it cansometimes be because they are
genuinely impossible for us todo at that moment.
Sometimes they can feel really,really challenging because they
are just pushing us outside ofour comfort zones.
So I want to dive into someexamples of how we can think of
this in our motherhood, in ourlives, in our marriages, in our
personal growth journey, how wecan think of this and help us to
(02:21):
feel more confident insituations and help to us to
feel more confident insituations.
By the end of this episode, Ihope that you will be able to
distinguish between what is hardin your life, what is
uncomfortable in your life, andhow you can embrace that
discomfort and help you to growin your confidence and your
resilience and to maybe takethose hard, genuinely hard
moments and accept the hard butthen learn how to baby step it
(02:44):
into a little bit more justuncomfortable moments to work
your way through the hard, butthen learn how to baby step it
into a little bit more justuncomfortable moments to work
your way through the hard.
Hard refers to something that isalmost impossible to accomplish
, like whether it's like aphysical limitation, different
barriers of life, barriers thatare in the way, life constraints
, time constraints, moneyconstraints, like something that
is just like this is genuinelyhard to do.
(03:06):
Uncomfortable refers tosomething that kind of pushes us
outside of our comfort zones,but it's still achievable.
It could still lead us togrowth.
It could still lead us to beinga better person and to growing
and becoming stronger.
Some examples would be tacklinga new workout routine,
improving our physicalconfidence.
(03:27):
This is something that's not.
It's not impossible.
It's not impossible to do, butit can be extremely
uncomfortable.
I just went to a bar class forthe first time.
Holy cow, that was hard.
But was it genuinely hard or wasit uncomfortably hard For me?
(03:48):
It was uncomfortably hard.
I was able to push myselfthrough the class, but it was
still physically challenging andeven mentally challenging for
me to push myself through thatclass.
But it was only an hour and Icould do it, even though it was
extremely uncomfortable.
I was very, very self-consciousand I was not feeling great
(04:09):
about what my body was able todo.
I had a lot of talks withmyself during that class of
reminding myself that it wasokay.
This was my first really reallyphysical, demanding thing since
having a baby.
This was the first thing I'vedone.
All I've really done other thanthat is walking, some
stretching, a little bit of coreexercises, nothing strenuous
(04:30):
like bar.
Bar uses muscles that youusually don't use, and so it was
genuinely hard for me.
But was it hard?
Hard Like I should just throwthe towel and I'm done I'm not
trying this again or was it justuncomfortably hard and for me
it was just uncomfortably hard?
So I think trying to get intothat new workout routine.
(04:51):
Try a new workout, trysomething new physically.
That can be demanding, can behard on us, but it's more of an
uncomfortable hard.
Trying a new way to connectwith our spouse can to build a
deeper marriage.
That can sometimes feeluncomfortable.
Right.
That can sometimes lead touncomfortable situations,
uncomfortable conversations,uncomfortable working through
(05:12):
things of your own.
Setting boundaries for certainsocial situations to prioritize
your own well-being or your ownrelationship with your family
that can sometimes beuncomfortable.
We don't want to let ourfriends down.
We don't want to have to say noto somebody.
We don't want to miss out onsome stuff, but setting those
boundaries might be anuncomfortable thing that is
required for us to do.
Social gatherings to helpdeepen and build friendships can
(05:36):
sometimes be uncomfortable.
I just had a favorite thingsparty.
I invited some friends that Ihave been friends with for years
.
It should not have been astressful, overwhelming thing
for me, but for some reason itwas really like.
As it got closer to the event,I was like my social anxiety was
getting higher and higher.
I was like why am I like soanxious about this?
(05:56):
I did invite some people that Ihad never hung out with before.
So I'm thinking that's probablywhere it was is.
I was trying to strengthenthese relationships with people
that I just briefly know and I'mnot super close with, and so I
was probably having a lot ofanxiety, thinking like they were
going to come over to my homeand they're people that I don't
really talk to typically and Iwas feeling a lot of like are
(06:17):
they going to even want to come,are they going to show up?
And so I definitely brought alot of uncomfortable feelings.
But am I glad that I did it?
Absolutely, I am so glad that Idid it and it was uncomfortable
, but I am glad that I pushedthrough that uncomfort.
(06:38):
When we're uncomfortable, we areforced to grow and adapt.
In these moments that is whenour confidence will grow.
So for me, when I had thatparty and I pushed through it
and I still went and I sentthose text messages to those
people that I don't really havesuper strong relationships with
and I was afraid that they weregoing to say no or be like why
is she inviting me to this party, I don't want to go, I still
did it anyway and thoseuncomfortable moments helped my
confidence to grow and so thenext time I have a party, I'll
(07:00):
feel a little bit more confidentinviting that person.
The next time I run into thatperson somewhere, I'll feel a
little bit more confident inletting them know like hey, I'm
trying to build this friendshiphere and I can feel a little bit
more confident in ourfriendship.
An analogy that I think can beso relatable to any of us who
have given birth is childbirth.
It is an incrediblyuncomfortable experience, no
(07:21):
matter how you give birth, ifyou have a C-section, if you get
an epidural, if you're doing anatural birth, no matter what
you do, it's an uncomfortableexperience for our physical body
and for our mental well-beingto have to go through all of
that.
But in the end it leads to oneof life's greatest
transformations.
(07:42):
I will never be the Sierra thatI was before I gave birth to my
daughter.
Childbirth is one of the mostincredible, uncomfortable
situations that can completelytransform us.
When you're going through yourlife, just take a pause,
identify is this something thatis genuinely hard or is it
(08:02):
something that is justuncomfortable that I can push
through?
If it's genuinely hard,acknowledge that and be okay
with it.
But how can we baby, step thisinto being something that's just
uncomfortable and work our waythrough the hard.
If it's something that's trulyimpossible to do, then how can
(08:24):
we make it a little bit moreachievable and just a little
uncomfortable and not hard?
Is it just something thatyou've never done before, like
me when I went to the bar class,is it just something that I've
never done?
And I'm trying to figure out,like, how to do these different
stretches and exercises and usethese muscles that I have not
used either before, ever or in avery, very long time when I
(08:46):
trained for my half marathon.
There is absolutely no way Icould have just woken up in the
morning and ran the halfmarathon.
There is no way.
That would have been too hard,genuinely too hard.
But me running even just a mile, that was uncomfortable.
It definitely was uncomfortablyhard, but I could still do it.
(09:10):
It wasn't impossible.
So I had to just build on that.
A mantra that I like to think ofis discomfort means I'm growing
.
If you don't do something thatis challenging for you and
uncomfortable, you will nevergrow.
So you can just think of amantra that you can say to
yourself when you are in thoseuncomfortably hard situations
Set small, doable challenges.
(09:30):
So start with just five minuteself care routine.
If self care is something thatyou're wanting to work on, if
you want to be able to take astep away from mothering, being
a wife taking care of thehousehold, all of your normal
duties and you want to focusmore on yourself, but that's
really uncomfortable for youLike the thought of maybe you
being going away for a weekendis absolutely like.
(09:52):
I would never do that.
If you're feeling that, thenjust take a little baby step,
plan one intentional activitywith your partner.
If you're trying to deepen yourmarriage, just baby step and
then celebrate all of thosesmall wins.
Even the smallest milestones onyour journey of something
uncomfortable is extremelybeneficial.
(10:14):
Some other examples of someuncomfortable situations I've
gone over a lot, but other onesthat we can have as moms is
setting up those boundaries,saying no to events or
commitments that are going todrain you and make you
uncomfortable around the peoplethat you're with.
Or maybe you just are like,nope, I have got to put my
family first this time.
New approaches to parenting,shifting our perspective, like
(10:37):
if we were like I would like tobe a calmer, more intentional
parent.
This can be an extremelyuncomfortable thing if this does
not come naturally to you, andso it can be sometimes hard, but
it's uncomfortably hard.
It's not impossible to do.
It just requires a mindsetchange and it requires baby
steps and giving yourself graceto know that you don't have to
(10:57):
be perfect at it.
Going to mom meetups or likethe school PTO or PTA fundraiser
that maybe is an uncomfortablesituation for you, but putting
yourself in the situations whereyou are around a supportive
network of like-minded parents,that can be sometimes
uncomfortable but it's not hard.
It's not impossible to do Nowsome genuinely hard things that
(11:21):
have limiting factors that arebeyond our control.
These are hard things If youare parenting during a serious
health crisis, caring for afamily member with special needs
.
I have a couple mom friends whohave children with special needs
and I just look at them with somuch admiration and awe.
Needs, and I just look at themwith so much admiration and awe.
Maybe your spouse is deployed,maybe they work really odd hours
(11:43):
, maybe you are both two passingshifts in the night, you're
both working 12-hour shifts andyou just take turns on who is at
home.
This can be a genuinely hardthing if you don't have a lot of
support and overcoming anytrauma or grief, if anything
really traumatic has happened toyou that was outside of your
control.
If you had somebody pass away,this is going to be genuinely a
(12:07):
hard experience.
So think of those experiencesin your life which ones are
genuinely hard, which ones areuncomfortable?
And how can you take thosegenuinely hard moments and baby
step them into something that'sjust a little bit uncomfortable?
We'll take the overcoming likea traumatic event or grief.
For example, probably one of themost traumatic events for me as
(12:29):
a mother is when my two weekold baby was life flighted to
primary children's.
This was extremely traumatic.
I was two weeks postpartum, soI was dealing with my own
physical and mental recovery andthen I found myself in an
airplane with my two-week-oldbaby being life flighted to
(12:49):
primary children's, where I thenspent five days with him and my
husband.
For the first day or two wasback at home with our other kids
and then bouncing between thehospital and my brother-in-law's
house trying to help me withthe baby in the hospital, but
then also with the kids.
This was really, reallytraumatic.
Even to this day he's threeyears later anytime he gets a
(13:13):
cough, it is like rush ofemotions coming back to me.
The first time we went back upto Salt Lake after he had been
in primary children's seeingthose mountains.
The second we got to themountains, I had an overwhelming
feeling of anxiety and griefcoming over me.
So this is something that wasgenuinely hard.
(13:35):
But how could I have babystepped my way through?
While we were in the hospital?
All I could think to do wasjust look at the next moment,
next rounds with the doctor,watch him for the next 30
minutes and see how he'sreacting, how he's responding,
hold him and love him.
I could just take little, tinybaby steps.
(13:55):
It was uncomfort, incrediblyhard to see my little baby
hooked up to as many things ashe was.
My mom was out of the country.
My husband couldn't be with meall the time because we had
other kids.
It was extremely difficult.
But I just had to baby step myway through and then, after, as
I'm overcoming all that traumaand that grief, even three years
(14:18):
later, when he gets one cough,I am so, so scared.
I have to just babysit my waythrough the uncomfortable.
How can you take your genuinelyhard situations and baby step
your way through them to makethem just uncomfortable, but not
genuinely hard?
All of my listeners who are adoula, a photographer, you have
(14:41):
an Etsy shop, you have aclothing boutique, you're an
esthetician, you're a realtor,you have a house cleaning
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Let's get back to the episode.
What is something in your lifethat has that you've been
putting off because you're like,oh, it's just too hard, I can't
do it.
It's too hard.
Is it genuinely too hard or isjust uncomfortable?
(16:07):
Because there are a lot ofthings in life that are
genuinely hard but we can stillmake them doable, right, we can
still work our way through them.
Is it?
Are we just using hard as anexcuse, or is it genuinely hard?
You are so not alone in thisjourney.
This is something that moms aregoing to face every day.
What's hard, what'suncomfortable?
(16:28):
What's hard in parenting?
What is just uncomfortable inparenting?
What can I?
What that is hard in my life?
Can I make a little bit justuncomfortable and not genuinely
and possibly hard?
You are so not alone.
There are so many moms aroundyou and there are so many people
facing similar challenges.
So I just encourage you to lookfor the hard and the
uncomfortable, try anddistinguish between the two and
(16:51):
try and just lean more into theuncomfortable.
How can you grow as a person,in your confidence, in your love
for yourself, in your growthjourney as a human being?
Thank you so much for listening.
Reminder to subscribe if youhave not already subscribed to
this podcast, it really helpsand share this episode with
somebody who you think couldbenefit from hearing this.
(17:12):
I love more than anything tospread confidence and joy into
the lives of mothers and I wouldlove it if I could just grow my
community of listeners and wecould have more and more
discussions about this and learnmore and more from each other.
So thank you for listening.
Leave a review if you foundthis to be helpful.
Subscribe and share thisepisode with somebody in your
(17:32):
life who could use a littlereminder of just how amazing
they already are.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram atconfidently beautiful podcast
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use of just how amazing theyalready are.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram @Confidently Beautiful Podcast
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
Stay confidently beautiful.
You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
, a podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
we all have confidence inside us.
We just need to bring it outand I'm here to show you how
Body image, dreams, parentingstyle, personality and more here
we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
Ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
(00:29):
Welcome to today's podcast.
I am so happy that you are hereand tuning in and I cannot wait
to dive into another awesomeepisode.
This podcast is just it'sdefinitely one of the highlights
for me to record.
I love sitting down andplanning out an episode.
Having ideas randomly pop intomy head while I'm in the shower
or driving kids around or doingwhatever, and then to actually
sit down and record an episodeis so much fun, and I am so
excited because I have a episodethat I have been planning and
(00:51):
working out with some people andwe are going to hear from some
amazing, amazing women, and I amso excited for you to hear that
episode.
If all goes as planned, it willair the end of November, so be
watching for that one, becauseit is one that is going to
inspire you and help you want tobe a better mom and person and
dream chaser and everything, andit is going to be so good.
(01:12):
I am so excited.
Today I want to talk about thedifferences between something
that's hard and something thatis uncomfortable.
Are you in something that's ahard season genuinely hard or
something that is justuncomfortable?
It doesn't mean theuncomfortable isn't hard.
The uncomfortable can still behard, but which one is it and
how can we help distinguish thatto help us feel more confident
in how to navigate our waythrough a certain situation?
(01:33):
So have you ever felt like somegoals or dreams are just way
too hard?
Maybe you've felt likemotherhood or marriage or just
like taking care of myself ortime for myself should not be
this challenging.
Why is it so challenging to gothrough this?
Hard and uncomfortable are twovery different things.
Oftentimes, our goals and ourdreams can feel really, really
(01:58):
challenging, and it cansometimes be because they are
genuinely impossible for us todo at that moment.
Sometimes they can feel really,really challenging because they
are just pushing us outside ofour comfort zones.
So I want to dive into someexamples of how we can think of
this in our motherhood, in ourlives, in our marriages, in our
personal growth journey, how wecan think of this and help us to
(02:21):
feel more confident insituations and help to us to
feel more confident insituations.
By the end of this episode, Ihope that you will be able to
distinguish between what is hardin your life, what is
uncomfortable in your life, andhow you can embrace that
discomfort and help you to growin your confidence and your
resilience and to maybe takethose hard, genuinely hard
moments and accept the hard butthen learn how to baby step it
(02:44):
into a little bit more justuncomfortable moments to work
your way through the hard, butthen learn how to baby step it
into a little bit more justuncomfortable moments to work
your way through the hard.
Hard refers to something that isalmost impossible to accomplish
, like whether it's like aphysical limitation, different
barriers of life, barriers thatare in the way, life constraints
, time constraints, moneyconstraints, like something that
is just like this is genuinelyhard to do.
(03:06):
Uncomfortable refers tosomething that kind of pushes us
outside of our comfort zones,but it's still achievable.
It could still lead us togrowth.
It could still lead us to beinga better person and to growing
and becoming stronger.
Some examples would be tacklinga new workout routine,
improving our physicalconfidence.
(03:27):
This is something that's not.
It's not impossible.
It's not impossible to do, butit can be extremely
uncomfortable.
I just went to a bar class forthe first time.
Holy cow, that was hard.
But was it genuinely hard or wasit uncomfortably hard For me?
(03:48):
It was uncomfortably hard.
I was able to push myselfthrough the class, but it was
still physically challenging andeven mentally challenging for
me to push myself through thatclass.
But it was only an hour and Icould do it, even though it was
extremely uncomfortable.
I was very, very self-consciousand I was not feeling great
(04:09):
about what my body was able todo.
I had a lot of talks withmyself during that class of
reminding myself that it wasokay.
This was my first really reallyphysical, demanding thing since
having a baby.
This was the first thing I'vedone.
All I've really done other thanthat is walking, some
stretching, a little bit of coreexercises, nothing strenuous
(04:30):
like bar.
Bar uses muscles that youusually don't use, and so it was
genuinely hard for me.
But was it hard?
Hard Like I should just throwthe towel and I'm done I'm not
trying this again or was it justuncomfortably hard and for me
it was just uncomfortably hard?
So I think trying to get intothat new workout routine.
(04:51):
Try a new workout, trysomething new physically.
That can be demanding, can behard on us, but it's more of an
uncomfortable hard.
Trying a new way to connectwith our spouse can to build a
deeper marriage.
That can sometimes feeluncomfortable.
Right.
That can sometimes lead touncomfortable situations,
uncomfortable conversations,uncomfortable working through
(05:12):
things of your own.
Setting boundaries for certainsocial situations to prioritize
your own well-being or your ownrelationship with your family
that can sometimes beuncomfortable.
We don't want to let ourfriends down.
We don't want to have to say noto somebody.
We don't want to miss out onsome stuff, but setting those
boundaries might be anuncomfortable thing that is
required for us to do.
Social gatherings to helpdeepen and build friendships can
(05:36):
sometimes be uncomfortable.
I just had a favorite thingsparty.
I invited some friends that Ihave been friends with for years
.
It should not have been astressful, overwhelming thing
for me, but for some reason itwas really like.
As it got closer to the event,I was like my social anxiety was
getting higher and higher.
I was like why am I like soanxious about this?
(05:56):
I did invite some people that Ihad never hung out with before.
So I'm thinking that's probablywhere it was is.
I was trying to strengthenthese relationships with people
that I just briefly know and I'mnot super close with, and so I
was probably having a lot ofanxiety, thinking like they were
going to come over to my homeand they're people that I don't
really talk to typically and Iwas feeling a lot of like are
(06:17):
they going to even want to come,are they going to show up?
And so I definitely brought alot of uncomfortable feelings.
But am I glad that I did it?
Absolutely, I am so glad that Idid it and it was uncomfortable
, but I am glad that I pushedthrough that uncomfort.
(06:38):
When we're uncomfortable, we areforced to grow and adapt.
In these moments that is whenour confidence will grow.
So for me, when I had thatparty and I pushed through it
and I still went and I sentthose text messages to those
people that I don't really havesuper strong relationships with
and I was afraid that they weregoing to say no or be like why
is she inviting me to this party, I don't want to go, I still
did it anyway and thoseuncomfortable moments helped my
confidence to grow and so thenext time I have a party, I'll
(07:00):
feel a little bit more confidentinviting that person.
The next time I run into thatperson somewhere, I'll feel a
little bit more confident inletting them know like hey, I'm
trying to build this friendshiphere and I can feel a little bit
more confident in ourfriendship.
An analogy that I think can beso relatable to any of us who
have given birth is childbirth.
It is an incrediblyuncomfortable experience, no
(07:21):
matter how you give birth, ifyou have a C-section, if you get
an epidural, if you're doing anatural birth, no matter what
you do, it's an uncomfortableexperience for our physical body
and for our mental well-beingto have to go through all of
that.
But in the end it leads to oneof life's greatest
transformations.
(07:42):
I will never be the Sierra thatI was before I gave birth to my
daughter.
Childbirth is one of the mostincredible, uncomfortable
situations that can completelytransform us.
When you're going through yourlife, just take a pause,
identify is this something thatis genuinely hard or is it
(08:02):
something that is justuncomfortable that I can push
through?
If it's genuinely hard,acknowledge that and be okay
with it.
But how can we baby, step thisinto being something that's just
uncomfortable and work our waythrough the hard.
If it's something that's trulyimpossible to do, then how can
(08:24):
we make it a little bit moreachievable and just a little
uncomfortable and not hard?
Is it just something thatyou've never done before, like
me when I went to the bar class,is it just something that I've
never done?
And I'm trying to figure out,like, how to do these different
stretches and exercises and usethese muscles that I have not
used either before, ever or in avery, very long time when I
(08:46):
trained for my half marathon.
There is absolutely no way Icould have just woken up in the
morning and ran the halfmarathon.
There is no way.
That would have been too hard,genuinely too hard.
But me running even just a mile, that was uncomfortable.
It definitely was uncomfortablyhard, but I could still do it.
(09:10):
It wasn't impossible.
So I had to just build on that.
A mantra that I like to think ofis discomfort means I'm growing
.
If you don't do something thatis challenging for you and
uncomfortable, you will nevergrow.
So you can just think of amantra that you can say to
yourself when you are in thoseuncomfortably hard situations
Set small, doable challenges.
(09:30):
So start with just five minuteself care routine.
If self care is something thatyou're wanting to work on, if
you want to be able to take astep away from mothering, being
a wife taking care of thehousehold, all of your normal
duties and you want to focusmore on yourself, but that's
really uncomfortable for youLike the thought of maybe you
being going away for a weekendis absolutely like.
(09:52):
I would never do that.
If you're feeling that, thenjust take a little baby step,
plan one intentional activitywith your partner.
If you're trying to deepen yourmarriage, just baby step and
then celebrate all of thosesmall wins.
Even the smallest milestones onyour journey of something
uncomfortable is extremelybeneficial.
(10:14):
Some other examples of someuncomfortable situations I've
gone over a lot, but other onesthat we can have as moms is
setting up those boundaries,saying no to events or
commitments that are going todrain you and make you
uncomfortable around the peoplethat you're with.
Or maybe you just are like,nope, I have got to put my
family first this time.
New approaches to parenting,shifting our perspective, like
(10:37):
if we were like I would like tobe a calmer, more intentional
parent.
This can be an extremelyuncomfortable thing if this does
not come naturally to you, andso it can be sometimes hard, but
it's uncomfortably hard.
It's not impossible to do.
It just requires a mindsetchange and it requires baby
steps and giving yourself graceto know that you don't have to
(10:57):
be perfect at it.
Going to mom meetups or likethe school PTO or PTA fundraiser
that maybe is an uncomfortablesituation for you, but putting
yourself in the situations whereyou are around a supportive
network of like-minded parents,that can be sometimes
uncomfortable but it's not hard.
It's not impossible to do Nowsome genuinely hard things that
(11:21):
have limiting factors that arebeyond our control.
These are hard things If youare parenting during a serious
health crisis, caring for afamily member with special needs
.
I have a couple mom friends whohave children with special needs
and I just look at them with somuch admiration and awe.
Needs, and I just look at themwith so much admiration and awe.
Maybe your spouse is deployed,maybe they work really odd hours
(11:43):
, maybe you are both two passingshifts in the night, you're
both working 12-hour shifts andyou just take turns on who is at
home.
This can be a genuinely hardthing if you don't have a lot of
support and overcoming anytrauma or grief, if anything
really traumatic has happened toyou that was outside of your
control.
If you had somebody pass away,this is going to be genuinely a
(12:07):
hard experience.
So think of those experiencesin your life which ones are
genuinely hard, which ones areuncomfortable?
And how can you take thosegenuinely hard moments and baby
step them into something that'sjust a little bit uncomfortable?
We'll take the overcoming likea traumatic event or grief.
For example, probably one of themost traumatic events for me as
(12:29):
a mother is when my two weekold baby was life flighted to
primary children's.
This was extremely traumatic.
I was two weeks postpartum, soI was dealing with my own
physical and mental recovery andthen I found myself in an
airplane with my two-week-oldbaby being life flighted to
(12:49):
primary children's, where I thenspent five days with him and my
husband.
For the first day or two wasback at home with our other kids
and then bouncing between thehospital and my brother-in-law's
house trying to help me withthe baby in the hospital, but
then also with the kids.
This was really, reallytraumatic.
Even to this day he's threeyears later anytime he gets a
(13:13):
cough, it is like rush ofemotions coming back to me.
The first time we went back upto Salt Lake after he had been
in primary children's seeingthose mountains.
The second we got to themountains, I had an overwhelming
feeling of anxiety and griefcoming over me.
So this is something that wasgenuinely hard.
(13:35):
But how could I have babystepped my way through?
While we were in the hospital?
All I could think to do wasjust look at the next moment,
next rounds with the doctor,watch him for the next 30
minutes and see how he'sreacting, how he's responding,
hold him and love him.
I could just take little, tinybaby steps.
(13:55):
It was uncomfort, incrediblyhard to see my little baby
hooked up to as many things ashe was.
My mom was out of the country.
My husband couldn't be with meall the time because we had
other kids.
It was extremely difficult.
But I just had to baby step myway through and then, after, as
I'm overcoming all that traumaand that grief, even three years
(14:18):
later, when he gets one cough,I am so, so scared.
I have to just babysit my waythrough the uncomfortable.
How can you take your genuinelyhard situations and baby step
your way through them to makethem just uncomfortable, but not
genuinely hard?
All of my listeners who are adoula, a photographer, you have
(14:41):
an Etsy shop, you have aclothing boutique, you're an
esthetician, you're a realtor,you have a house cleaning
business, you're a life coach,whatever it is.
If you have a small business,listen up, because I have
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Flodesk is amazing and let metell you why I love it.
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Think of it that way.
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I changed it to it so that itwas over a week time, but you
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automatically get them set up onyour email campaign.
Get them the information thatyou're wanting, send out those
freebies, whatever it is thatyou're offering.
It automatically sends it tothem for you and you can easily
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(15:46):
So go Go to flodesk.
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Let's get back to the episode.
What is something in your lifethat has that you've been
putting off because you're like,oh, it's just too hard, I can't
do it.
It's too hard.
Is it genuinely too hard or isjust uncomfortable?
(16:07):
Because there are a lot ofthings in life that are
genuinely hard but we can stillmake them doable, right, we can
still work our way through them.
Is it?
Are we just using hard as anexcuse, or is it genuinely hard?
You are so not alone in thisjourney.
This is something that moms aregoing to face every day.
What's hard, what'suncomfortable?
(16:28):
What's hard in parenting?
What is just uncomfortable inparenting?
What can I?
What that is hard in my life?
Can I make a little bit justuncomfortable and not genuinely
and possibly hard?
You are so not alone.
There are so many moms aroundyou and there are so many people
facing similar challenges.
So I just encourage you to lookfor the hard and the
uncomfortable, try anddistinguish between the two and
(16:51):
try and just lean more into theuncomfortable.
How can you grow as a person,in your confidence, in your love
for yourself, in your growthjourney as a human being?
Thank you so much for listening.
Reminder to subscribe if youhave not already subscribed to
this podcast, it really helpsand share this episode with
somebody who you think couldbenefit from hearing this.
(17:12):
I love more than anything tospread confidence and joy into
the lives of mothers and I wouldlove it if I could just grow my
community of listeners and wecould have more and more
discussions about this and learnmore and more from each other.
So thank you for listening.
Leave a review if you foundthis to be helpful.
Subscribe and share thisepisode with somebody in your
(17:32):
life who could use a littlereminder of just how amazing
they already are.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram atconfidently beautiful podcast
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use of just how amazing theyalready are.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram @Confidently Beautiful Podcast
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
Stay confidently beautiful.
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