September 30, 2024 • 19 mins
Have you ever wondered how motherhood could transform your confidence? Join me, Ciera, as I share my personal journey on "Confidently Beautiful." This heartfelt episode dives into the profound ways becoming a mother has refined my self-assurance, turning everyday challenges into incredible growth opportunities. From pre-motherhood struggles with body image and social acceptance to finding a healthy balance between body acceptance and personal goals, we uncover the significant role confidence plays in motherhood and its ripple effect on our children's lives.
Reflect with me on the physical and emotional changes that accompany motherhood. We'll tackle the common struggles of body image post-childbirth, the feeling of being overwhelmed, and the adjustment to new social interactions. Celebrate those small yet significant parenting wins, such as running half marathons and the triumph of unmedicated childbirth. Through these shared experiences, I emphasize how our perception of failure often pales in comparison to the magical moments our children remember. This episode aims to inspire and support mothers in recognizing the strength and resilience that motherhood instills, leading to a more joyful and fulfilling journey for both themselves and their families. Tune in for an empowering conversation that celebrates the true essence of confident motherhood.
Listen here to the Ripple Effect episode that was mentioned
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ciera (00:03):
you're listening to, confidently beautiful with C a
podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
we all have confidence inside us.
We just need to bring it outand I'm here to show you how
body image, dreams, parenting,style, personality and more here
we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
Thank you so much for tuning into the podcast today.
(00:26):
I am Sierra, your host, and Iam so excited to be here talking
today.
It has been a while since Ihave done a podcast episode.
I had a baby.
He has grown up and is now aneight-month-old and it is just
crazy to me how fast time goeswith our kids and how quickly
they grow.
But I am so happy to be here.
So, if you are a new listener,thank you for joining us.
(00:48):
Here we talk about motherhood,confidence, beauty, all things
that just make us happier,better people, feeling more
confident and bring some morejoy to our lives.
I focus specifically on mothers, as I am a mother myself and
trying to bring the joy into themotherhood experience and still
feeling like we are confidentin who we are along the way.
(01:10):
Today we are going to betalking about how motherhood has
shaped my confidence, how itcan shape your confidence.
Motherhood refines us.
We're constantly learning,we're constantly growing.
We're constantly becoming theworst versions of ourselves, or
the best version of ourselves,or maybe somewhere in between.
Why does confidence inmotherhood matter?
If you are not confident, youcannot be the mother to your
(01:32):
children that I know we all wantto be.
I had a podcast episode fromthe past where I talk about the
ripple effect.
I will link it in the shownotes.
But confidence in yourmotherhood is so important
because if you are a confidentperson, your kids will become
more confident people.
You will grow them and helpmold them into strong, confident
(01:53):
, amazing humans, which isexactly what we want for our
kids.
So the more confident you arethen, the more fun you're going
to have as a mom, because you'renot going to be questioning
things, the more your kids aregoing to get that confidence
rubbed off onto them and thehappier you're going to be.
We want joy, we want to feelfulfilled, and so that is why I
(02:14):
feel like being a confidentmother is so important.
My confidence before motherhoodwas very different than my
confidence now.
I was on a journey beforebecoming a mother to try and
make friends and get confidentto be outside of my bubble, I
think clear back into middleschool and high school where you
(02:37):
know you just want to fit in,you just want to have a good
group of friends and so findingthat confidence to just be
yourself, but also like you'restill trying to figure out who
you are during that stage inlife.
Right, I think of myself backback then and how I.
That was a constant strugglefor me.
A confident confidence strugglethat I always had was just
always wanting to fit in, alwayswanting people to like me.
(02:58):
I still struggle with thattoday, as mom in my 30s.
I still I want people to likeme.
I want I want to be accepted,and sometimes that can be really
damaging to confidence.
So that has been like a journeythat I have been on for a
really long time, pre-baby afterbaby.
There's also the body acceptance.
I think back to when I was incollege and I was just like
(03:21):
doing these workouts and like,oh, like, if I could just like
doing these workouts and like,like, if I could just get this
flat and toned stomach, likethen I'll feel so good about
myself.
And I think that that is somuch that the world puts on us
is just having like this, thisbody image that could be really
damaging, I mean, especially toa young college or high
school-aged girl like I was andI think about that a lot before
(03:44):
becoming a mother.
And now I'm like almost likekicking myself, like why did I
not just appreciate my body forwhat it was and the things that
it was able to do?
Because my body now, afterbabies, is so different Even
just aging, like my body, isjust so different.
And so I think there's like ahealthy, happy balance between
accepting your body like whereit is right then and being
(04:06):
grateful for it, but also likeit's okay to have goals and it's
okay to want to try and becomeyour version or your idea of a
better version of yourself, forfor body or for anything in your
life.
Confident in my relationshipsand learning who I was outside
of my childhood home, that wassomething that I definitely was
trying to get more confident inas I was out of high school and
(04:29):
I moved into an apartment withsome friends and then getting
married and being with your newhusband and trying to figure out
how to be married, for onething, but then also figuring
out a little bit more of likewho are you away from your
parents, who are you away fromyour home where you grew up.
There are a lot of socialexpectations or pressures that
(04:52):
we can feel.
I kind of touched on it withthe body acceptance.
I mean there's a lot of thingsthat like you think you need to
look beautiful and you need tolook all put together, you need
to have like a certain body type.
I remember thinking so manytimes sometimes I even still
fall into this trap, but so manytimes like, oh, if I just buy
all the expensive clothes, if Ibuy like the newest, trendiest,
(05:13):
hottest hair item or I spendthis much time getting ready
every day, then I will feelpretty, then I will feel like I
am confident and I am enough.
I remember feeling that a lot,especially in my younger years,
and I think that that is amisconception that the world can
put on us as like feeling likeyou have to like look a certain
(05:35):
way or feel a certain way to beconfident.
I think there's also a really,really big thing with
perfectionism versus confidence.
That is something that I havelearned as being a mother is you
do not have to be perfect to beconfident.
I talk about confidence all thetime and I am so so far from
perfect.
I like to say that I'm aconfident person, but it's
(05:57):
something that I'm constantlystriving at and there's areas of
my life that I'm not soconfident at, but I'm always
trying to get better.
But it doesn't mean I have tobe perfect.
I don't have to be perfect atit.
I posted a reel about this onmy Instagram.
If you want to go, follow meconfidently beautiful podcast.
You can find me there and Italked about this, um,
perfectionism versus confidenceand how, like confident people,
(06:18):
they do struggle.
Confident people have fears,they have doubts, they have
worries and they are not perfect.
They are so far from perfect.
But so I think back to my earlydays of motherhood.
I think back to the very one ofthe very first memories I have
with confidence in being amother is the day after I gave
(06:42):
birth to my daughter.
I was in the bathroom in thehospital and I remember I was
changing out of my gown andchanging into some comfier
clothes and I just looked in themirror and I was 100% shocked
at the way my stomach looked.
I don't I mean, I don't knowwhat I expected, but I was like,
(07:02):
wow, my stomach is so ugly.
And I remember feeling that andbeing so embarrassed and like
how am I ever going to like letpeople be see me like without
like my stomach covered, letalone with a shirt on like it
just did not look the same.
I looked pregnant but I wasn'tpregnant and it was so squishy
(07:23):
and I was just 100% shocked.
I don't know what I wasthinking it was going to be like
, but it was a shocking thingand that was like a really,
really big thing for me Afterhaving my daughter was to try
and accept this new body that Ihad.
It's become a lot easier.
The more and more kids I've had, the more and more I've seen
the amazing things that my bodycan do.
(07:43):
I've come to appreciate it moreand more.
It doesn't mean that I don'tI'm not like I love my squishy
belly, I love it so much.
No, I mean I definitely wantthings to change, but I can be
more confident in knowing likeyeah, I have, I have birthed
four children Like my body isgoing to change.
(08:04):
There are other parts of mybody that do not look the same
as they did before I had kids,and so I think just to let go of
that has been a really bigchallenge with getting my
confidence, feeling like unsurethat I know what to do.
I remember sitting on mydaughter's floor in the middle
(08:25):
of the night.
She had been screaming forhours and I just cried and I
just did not know what to do.
I just was so unsure.
I didn't know if I was doingthe right thing, if I was
helping her, and I felt so badfor her because she's just
screaming.
But I'm also at my wits endLike how am I supposed to get
any sleep?
How am I like?
This is my life.
And it was such a hard, hardfeeling.
(08:46):
And there are so many momentsand challenges with confidence
and not knowing if you're doingthe right thing for your kids.
And then I also remember inthose early days of motherhood,
socially, like trying to makemom friends and feeling like I
don't know how to talk to adultsanymore.
I am just with a child all daylong.
I'm with a baby, I'm with atoddler and feeling that part of
(09:07):
my where I felt like I actuallywas pretty confident before
having kids.
I was confident in talking topeople.
I had a lot of friends.
We constantly were havingparties, we were having people
over, we were going out anddoing things with friends and
then when I had a baby, it wasalmost like, oh, wow, I don't
know how to talk to adultsanymore, and that has been a
challenge, some unexpectedthings that happen when you
(09:31):
become a mom.
I remember, like when somefriends would come to me for
like motherhood advice and I waslike, oh, it was like a pat on
the back, like I actually feellike I'm actually a good enough
mom that I can give advice and Iactually know, like this is
what worked for me.
I mean, it doesn't mean it'sgoing to work for you, but this
is what worked for me.
That could be like a reallygood moment of like feeling
(09:53):
confident.
Feeling those small wins withyour kids is like that's a huge
confident booster for me.
Feeling like okay.
So like if something goesterribly wrong, like something
goes so wrong in motherhood andI completely fail, but then,
like the next time, I totallyrock it.
Like think of's been so manytimes I can't even count when I
(10:16):
have like taken the kids outsomewhere and there's been like
a total meltdown and it's theworst day of their life and
you're the worst mom ever andyou know it's terrible, right,
but then you do it again thenext time and you actually like
succeed and you're like, yeah,like I rocked this or maybe they
are having like that totalmeltdown and you actually are
able to use all your parentinghacks and tricks that you have
(10:39):
and you feel like it was asuccess.
You were able to connect withyour child and you were able to
help them to manage theiremotions or to learn to grow.
Like.
Those things are really bigconfidence boosters.
I feel like I know when I ran ahalf marathon, it was after my
let's see, I've I've done twohalf marathons.
One of them was after my secondbaby and one of them was after
(11:00):
my third baby and I rememberthat I could not even run a mile
before I had kids.
And remember back when I saidthat like my body has changed a
lot since having kids Well, mybody looks a lot different now
than it did when I couldn't evenrun a mile and like maybe you
would look at it and say, yeah,you can't, you can't run, like,
(11:23):
do you see?
Do you see what your body lookslike, whereas my body before
kids?
You're like, yeah, you couldtotally run a half marathon, but
in reality, like no, my bodywas not conditioned and wasn't
trained and I could not even runa mile before having kids.
But now, after having kids, Ihave run two half marathons and
I think that, like I have toconstantly remind myself of,
(11:43):
like, my body is so strong andit may not look the way that the
world standards say that itshould look, but it is so strong
, it can do so many things andthat can help me be more
confident with my body.
I have also delivered twobabies unmedicated.
That's just another example.
I mean you.
I think birth is incredible, nomatter how you give birth, and
(12:05):
I think C-section moms arewarriors, really truly.
But for me, that feeling of Idon't know if I can do this and
then to do it and I've done ittwice Like that to me is such a
huge confidence booster.
I remember on social media and Iwish I could remember exactly
where I saw it, but I rememberseeing a video where there was a
(12:26):
mom and she was just feelinglike she was failing her kids
all day long.
They were yelling, they werenot wanting to leave the places,
the dinner got burnt, sheforgot to bring something.
I can't remember everythingthat happened in the clip, but
it was just one of those days asa mom that you're just like is
it bedtime, yet this is so hard,I'm failing completely.
And then she overheard herdaughter telling her dad about
(12:50):
their perfect day and all of themagical things that they got to
do, and the little girl wasjust saying like all the things
that made her so happy and likethat she got to do, like all
these things that the momperceived as failures, but to
her daughter they were like thethings that made the day the
best day ever.
I think that that clip is areally good reminder of how,
(13:12):
moments where we feel like weare failing, we maybe actually
are not failing as much as wethink we are and maybe we need
to just be confident in what weare trying to do and know that
we are doing our best.
Because, again, confidence isnot perfection.
It's just trying and acceptingyou where you are and being
grateful for the things that youcan do.
(13:34):
Motherhood has reshaped my viewof confidence.
It's not just about appearanceor career or successes.
It's about the whole experience.
Being confident as a mom isbeing patient and nurturing,
leading my kids by example.
I can teach my kids that takingcare of my body is helping me
(13:56):
to feel more confident.
I can acknowledge my emotionswhen I am having a positive or a
negative emotion.
I can reach for my goals and mydreams and if I fail, I can
keep trying and I can try again.
I can talk about all the goodthings about myself.
There are always going to bethings that we don't like about
ourselves, but we can talk aboutthe good things about ourselves
and say them out loud.
(14:16):
And we are always building ourkids up and we're saying the
good in them.
But why not, why not aboutourselves too?
And let's be that example tothem of talking about the good
things about ourselves.
I'm going to try really hard tostart approaching all of my
challenges with more of a senseof purpose and, um, I let that.
I let those challenges kind offuel my confidence.
(14:37):
We're not going to.
Our confidence isn't going togrow if we don't have challenges
.
Our confidence isn't going togrow if we have the opportunity
to try and be better.
If we never have thatopportunity to try and be better
, we're not going to feel moreconfident.
We're just going to stay wherewe are.
I think we can also try andremember that our identity as a
mom.
It can help play a key role inour confidence who we are as
(15:01):
mothers and who we are trying tobe and the best version of
ourselves can play a really bigrole in how we feel about
ourselves, our bodies, our goals, our dreams, our homes so many
different areas in our life.
I did a poll on Instagram and Iasked people what makes them
(15:22):
feel the most confident as amother, and I asked people what
makes them feel the mostconfident as a mother.
Trusting your instincts,letting go of expectations or
self-care Like those, were thethree choices.
50% of people said thattrusting their instincts helped
them feel more confident as amom.
I think that this is such animportant thing.
So many times.
We are just constantly secondguessing ourselves and wondering
if we're doing the right thing,and I think that that is a
(15:44):
really, really good tip to tryand just remember to be
confident in who you are as amom.
The second one 40% of people whovoted said let go of
expectations helps them to bemore confident as a mom.
For me, this is my personal one.
I have really had to work atjust going with the flow and
knowing that I may be walkinginto a situation hoping that it
(16:06):
goes a certain way, but it mightbe the complete opposite of
what I'm hoping for, and that'sokay, just to let go of the
expectations.
So then when it does succeed,then you're like wow, that was,
that was amazing, like it was somuch fun, and you're and you're
just so happy with it.
But then if it also fails, orif it goes not the way that you
really wanted it to, then youalready went into it with the
(16:27):
lower expectations of like thismight not work and it's okay.
That just makes me feel so muchmore confident in every
situation that I feel like I amin and also gives me a little
bit more grace to myself.
And the third one was self-care.
10% of people who voted saidthat this was how they feel more
confident as a mom.
I think that this is a hugeimportant part of being a person
(16:50):
in general, but also a mom isyou can't.
You can't take care of otherpeople if you're not taking care
of yourself.
Self-care is a really, reallyimportant part.
So those are three tips thatyou can take and hopefully you
can take those, and I want youto just really try and
acknowledge your growth thisweek.
What are the small wins thatyou're having?
What are some areas in yourlife that you're feeling like a
(17:13):
little bit more confident, justa little bit more than you were
yesterday?
Every mom's journey is unique.
The confidence that we all findthrough motherhood is universal
.
Though Confidence is auniversal thing, it's everyone
wants to feel confident, nomatter what our motherhood
journey looks like.
Motherhood will forever be oneof the most powerful forces that
(17:34):
has helped in shaping myconfidence.
It's the hardest, mostrewarding thing that I have ever
done and probably will ever doin my entire life.
And I know that I am not the.
I would not be the person thatI am or have the confidence that
I have without being a mom.
(17:54):
Think about your experiences.
I'd love to hear yourexperiences.
So if you have stories ofconfidence in motherhood like,
please share them with me.
Have stories of confidence inmotherhood like please share
them with me, send me a DM,share them on social media and
tag me.
I would love to hear all of thestories, and I know personally
for me, when I hear stories ofmoms feeling confident, it
inspires me and makes me want tobe better, and I think that we
(18:16):
can learn from each other,rather than looking at another
mom and being like oh, they areso much more confident in this
area than I am.
I wish I was like this there'sso much better at this than I am
.
Let's not look at it that way.
Let's look at it as more likewow, they have come a long way
in their motherhood journey andthey are feeling confident in
this area.
What can I learn from them?
And use it to lift each otherup and to inspire each other.
(18:41):
Thank you so much for listeningand tuning in.
I am really excited to be backdoing regular podcast episodes.
They will air every Tuesday andI cannot wait to continue this
journey, talking aboutmotherhood and beauty and
confidence and helping myself tofeel more empowered in who I am
as a person, and I want you tohopefully feel the same.
(19:02):
So, if you enjoyed this episode, I would love it if you shared
it with a mom friend that youfeel like could use a little
confidence boost or just areminder that they're doing an
awesome job, because you reallyare doing amazing.
So thank you for tuning in andI will talk to you next week.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram @confidently beautiful podcast
(19:23):
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
Stay confidently beautiful.
you're listening to, confidently beautiful with C a
podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
we all have confidence inside us.
We just need to bring it outand I'm here to show you how
body image, dreams, parenting,style, personality and more here
we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
Thank you so much for tuning into the podcast today.
(00:26):
I am Sierra, your host, and Iam so excited to be here talking
today.
It has been a while since Ihave done a podcast episode.
I had a baby.
He has grown up and is now aneight-month-old and it is just
crazy to me how fast time goeswith our kids and how quickly
they grow.
But I am so happy to be here.
So, if you are a new listener,thank you for joining us.
(00:48):
Here we talk about motherhood,confidence, beauty, all things
that just make us happier,better people, feeling more
confident and bring some morejoy to our lives.
I focus specifically on mothers, as I am a mother myself and
trying to bring the joy into themotherhood experience and still
feeling like we are confidentin who we are along the way.
(01:10):
Today we are going to betalking about how motherhood has
shaped my confidence, how itcan shape your confidence.
Motherhood refines us.
We're constantly learning,we're constantly growing.
We're constantly becoming theworst versions of ourselves, or
the best version of ourselves,or maybe somewhere in between.
Why does confidence inmotherhood matter?
If you are not confident, youcannot be the mother to your
(01:32):
children that I know we all wantto be.
I had a podcast episode fromthe past where I talk about the
ripple effect.
I will link it in the shownotes.
But confidence in yourmotherhood is so important
because if you are a confidentperson, your kids will become
more confident people.
You will grow them and helpmold them into strong, confident
(01:53):
, amazing humans, which isexactly what we want for our
kids.
So the more confident you arethen, the more fun you're going
to have as a mom, because you'renot going to be questioning
things, the more your kids aregoing to get that confidence
rubbed off onto them and thehappier you're going to be.
We want joy, we want to feelfulfilled, and so that is why I
(02:14):
feel like being a confidentmother is so important.
My confidence before motherhoodwas very different than my
confidence now.
I was on a journey beforebecoming a mother to try and
make friends and get confidentto be outside of my bubble, I
think clear back into middleschool and high school where you
(02:37):
know you just want to fit in,you just want to have a good
group of friends and so findingthat confidence to just be
yourself, but also like you'restill trying to figure out who
you are during that stage inlife.
Right, I think of myself backback then and how I.
That was a constant strugglefor me.
A confident confidence strugglethat I always had was just
always wanting to fit in, alwayswanting people to like me.
(02:58):
I still struggle with thattoday, as mom in my 30s.
I still I want people to likeme.
I want I want to be accepted,and sometimes that can be really
damaging to confidence.
So that has been like a journeythat I have been on for a
really long time, pre-baby afterbaby.
There's also the body acceptance.
I think back to when I was incollege and I was just like
(03:21):
doing these workouts and like,oh, like, if I could just like
doing these workouts and like,like, if I could just get this
flat and toned stomach, likethen I'll feel so good about
myself.
And I think that that is somuch that the world puts on us
is just having like this, thisbody image that could be really
damaging, I mean, especially toa young college or high
school-aged girl like I was andI think about that a lot before
(03:44):
becoming a mother.
And now I'm like almost likekicking myself, like why did I
not just appreciate my body forwhat it was and the things that
it was able to do?
Because my body now, afterbabies, is so different Even
just aging, like my body, isjust so different.
And so I think there's like ahealthy, happy balance between
accepting your body like whereit is right then and being
(04:06):
grateful for it, but also likeit's okay to have goals and it's
okay to want to try and becomeyour version or your idea of a
better version of yourself, forfor body or for anything in your
life.
Confident in my relationshipsand learning who I was outside
of my childhood home, that wassomething that I definitely was
trying to get more confident inas I was out of high school and
(04:29):
I moved into an apartment withsome friends and then getting
married and being with your newhusband and trying to figure out
how to be married, for onething, but then also figuring
out a little bit more of likewho are you away from your
parents, who are you away fromyour home where you grew up.
There are a lot of socialexpectations or pressures that
(04:52):
we can feel.
I kind of touched on it withthe body acceptance.
I mean there's a lot of thingsthat like you think you need to
look beautiful and you need tolook all put together, you need
to have like a certain body type.
I remember thinking so manytimes sometimes I even still
fall into this trap, but so manytimes like, oh, if I just buy
all the expensive clothes, if Ibuy like the newest, trendiest,
(05:13):
hottest hair item or I spendthis much time getting ready
every day, then I will feelpretty, then I will feel like I
am confident and I am enough.
I remember feeling that a lot,especially in my younger years,
and I think that that is amisconception that the world can
put on us as like feeling likeyou have to like look a certain
(05:35):
way or feel a certain way to beconfident.
I think there's also a really,really big thing with
perfectionism versus confidence.
That is something that I havelearned as being a mother is you
do not have to be perfect to beconfident.
I talk about confidence all thetime and I am so so far from
perfect.
I like to say that I'm aconfident person, but it's
(05:57):
something that I'm constantlystriving at and there's areas of
my life that I'm not soconfident at, but I'm always
trying to get better.
But it doesn't mean I have tobe perfect.
I don't have to be perfect atit.
I posted a reel about this onmy Instagram.
If you want to go, follow meconfidently beautiful podcast.
You can find me there and Italked about this, um,
perfectionism versus confidenceand how, like confident people,
(06:18):
they do struggle.
Confident people have fears,they have doubts, they have
worries and they are not perfect.
They are so far from perfect.
But so I think back to my earlydays of motherhood.
I think back to the very one ofthe very first memories I have
with confidence in being amother is the day after I gave
(06:42):
birth to my daughter.
I was in the bathroom in thehospital and I remember I was
changing out of my gown andchanging into some comfier
clothes and I just looked in themirror and I was 100% shocked
at the way my stomach looked.
I don't I mean, I don't knowwhat I expected, but I was like,
(07:02):
wow, my stomach is so ugly.
And I remember feeling that andbeing so embarrassed and like
how am I ever going to like letpeople be see me like without
like my stomach covered, letalone with a shirt on like it
just did not look the same.
I looked pregnant but I wasn'tpregnant and it was so squishy
(07:23):
and I was just 100% shocked.
I don't know what I wasthinking it was going to be like
, but it was a shocking thingand that was like a really,
really big thing for me Afterhaving my daughter was to try
and accept this new body that Ihad.
It's become a lot easier.
The more and more kids I've had, the more and more I've seen
the amazing things that my bodycan do.
(07:43):
I've come to appreciate it moreand more.
It doesn't mean that I don'tI'm not like I love my squishy
belly, I love it so much.
No, I mean I definitely wantthings to change, but I can be
more confident in knowing likeyeah, I have, I have birthed
four children Like my body isgoing to change.
(08:04):
There are other parts of mybody that do not look the same
as they did before I had kids,and so I think just to let go of
that has been a really bigchallenge with getting my
confidence, feeling like unsurethat I know what to do.
I remember sitting on mydaughter's floor in the middle
(08:25):
of the night.
She had been screaming forhours and I just cried and I
just did not know what to do.
I just was so unsure.
I didn't know if I was doingthe right thing, if I was
helping her, and I felt so badfor her because she's just
screaming.
But I'm also at my wits endLike how am I supposed to get
any sleep?
How am I like?
This is my life.
And it was such a hard, hardfeeling.
(08:46):
And there are so many momentsand challenges with confidence
and not knowing if you're doingthe right thing for your kids.
And then I also remember inthose early days of motherhood,
socially, like trying to makemom friends and feeling like I
don't know how to talk to adultsanymore.
I am just with a child all daylong.
I'm with a baby, I'm with atoddler and feeling that part of
(09:07):
my where I felt like I actuallywas pretty confident before
having kids.
I was confident in talking topeople.
I had a lot of friends.
We constantly were havingparties, we were having people
over, we were going out anddoing things with friends and
then when I had a baby, it wasalmost like, oh, wow, I don't
know how to talk to adultsanymore, and that has been a
challenge, some unexpectedthings that happen when you
(09:31):
become a mom.
I remember, like when somefriends would come to me for
like motherhood advice and I waslike, oh, it was like a pat on
the back, like I actually feellike I'm actually a good enough
mom that I can give advice and Iactually know, like this is
what worked for me.
I mean, it doesn't mean it'sgoing to work for you, but this
is what worked for me.
That could be like a reallygood moment of like feeling
(09:53):
confident.
Feeling those small wins withyour kids is like that's a huge
confident booster for me.
Feeling like okay.
So like if something goesterribly wrong, like something
goes so wrong in motherhood andI completely fail, but then,
like the next time, I totallyrock it.
Like think of's been so manytimes I can't even count when I
(10:16):
have like taken the kids outsomewhere and there's been like
a total meltdown and it's theworst day of their life and
you're the worst mom ever andyou know it's terrible, right,
but then you do it again thenext time and you actually like
succeed and you're like, yeah,like I rocked this or maybe they
are having like that totalmeltdown and you actually are
able to use all your parentinghacks and tricks that you have
(10:39):
and you feel like it was asuccess.
You were able to connect withyour child and you were able to
help them to manage theiremotions or to learn to grow.
Like.
Those things are really bigconfidence boosters.
I feel like I know when I ran ahalf marathon, it was after my
let's see, I've I've done twohalf marathons.
One of them was after my secondbaby and one of them was after
(11:00):
my third baby and I rememberthat I could not even run a mile
before I had kids.
And remember back when I saidthat like my body has changed a
lot since having kids Well, mybody looks a lot different now
than it did when I couldn't evenrun a mile and like maybe you
would look at it and say, yeah,you can't, you can't run, like,
(11:23):
do you see?
Do you see what your body lookslike, whereas my body before
kids?
You're like, yeah, you couldtotally run a half marathon, but
in reality, like no, my bodywas not conditioned and wasn't
trained and I could not even runa mile before having kids.
But now, after having kids, Ihave run two half marathons and
I think that, like I have toconstantly remind myself of,
(11:43):
like, my body is so strong andit may not look the way that the
world standards say that itshould look, but it is so strong
, it can do so many things andthat can help me be more
confident with my body.
I have also delivered twobabies unmedicated.
That's just another example.
I mean you.
I think birth is incredible, nomatter how you give birth, and
(12:05):
I think C-section moms arewarriors, really truly.
But for me, that feeling of Idon't know if I can do this and
then to do it and I've done ittwice Like that to me is such a
huge confidence booster.
I remember on social media and Iwish I could remember exactly
where I saw it, but I rememberseeing a video where there was a
(12:26):
mom and she was just feelinglike she was failing her kids
all day long.
They were yelling, they werenot wanting to leave the places,
the dinner got burnt, sheforgot to bring something.
I can't remember everythingthat happened in the clip, but
it was just one of those days asa mom that you're just like is
it bedtime, yet this is so hard,I'm failing completely.
And then she overheard herdaughter telling her dad about
(12:50):
their perfect day and all of themagical things that they got to
do, and the little girl wasjust saying like all the things
that made her so happy and likethat she got to do, like all
these things that the momperceived as failures, but to
her daughter they were like thethings that made the day the
best day ever.
I think that that clip is areally good reminder of how,
(13:12):
moments where we feel like weare failing, we maybe actually
are not failing as much as wethink we are and maybe we need
to just be confident in what weare trying to do and know that
we are doing our best.
Because, again, confidence isnot perfection.
It's just trying and acceptingyou where you are and being
grateful for the things that youcan do.
(13:34):
Motherhood has reshaped my viewof confidence.
It's not just about appearanceor career or successes.
It's about the whole experience.
Being confident as a mom isbeing patient and nurturing,
leading my kids by example.
I can teach my kids that takingcare of my body is helping me
(13:56):
to feel more confident.
I can acknowledge my emotionswhen I am having a positive or a
negative emotion.
I can reach for my goals and mydreams and if I fail, I can
keep trying and I can try again.
I can talk about all the goodthings about myself.
There are always going to bethings that we don't like about
ourselves, but we can talk aboutthe good things about ourselves
and say them out loud.
(14:16):
And we are always building ourkids up and we're saying the
good in them.
But why not, why not aboutourselves too?
And let's be that example tothem of talking about the good
things about ourselves.
I'm going to try really hard tostart approaching all of my
challenges with more of a senseof purpose and, um, I let that.
I let those challenges kind offuel my confidence.
(14:37):
We're not going to.
Our confidence isn't going togrow if we don't have challenges
.
Our confidence isn't going togrow if we have the opportunity
to try and be better.
If we never have thatopportunity to try and be better
, we're not going to feel moreconfident.
We're just going to stay wherewe are.
I think we can also try andremember that our identity as a
mom.
It can help play a key role inour confidence who we are as
(15:01):
mothers and who we are trying tobe and the best version of
ourselves can play a really bigrole in how we feel about
ourselves, our bodies, our goals, our dreams, our homes so many
different areas in our life.
I did a poll on Instagram and Iasked people what makes them
(15:22):
feel the most confident as amother, and I asked people what
makes them feel the mostconfident as a mother.
Trusting your instincts,letting go of expectations or
self-care Like those, were thethree choices.
50% of people said thattrusting their instincts helped
them feel more confident as amom.
I think that this is such animportant thing.
So many times.
We are just constantly secondguessing ourselves and wondering
if we're doing the right thing,and I think that that is a
(15:44):
really, really good tip to tryand just remember to be
confident in who you are as amom.
The second one 40% of people whovoted said let go of
expectations helps them to bemore confident as a mom.
For me, this is my personal one.
I have really had to work atjust going with the flow and
knowing that I may be walkinginto a situation hoping that it
(16:06):
goes a certain way, but it mightbe the complete opposite of
what I'm hoping for, and that'sokay, just to let go of the
expectations.
So then when it does succeed,then you're like wow, that was,
that was amazing, like it was somuch fun, and you're and you're
just so happy with it.
But then if it also fails, orif it goes not the way that you
really wanted it to, then youalready went into it with the
(16:27):
lower expectations of like thismight not work and it's okay.
That just makes me feel so muchmore confident in every
situation that I feel like I amin and also gives me a little
bit more grace to myself.
And the third one was self-care.
10% of people who voted saidthat this was how they feel more
confident as a mom.
I think that this is a hugeimportant part of being a person
(16:50):
in general, but also a mom isyou can't.
You can't take care of otherpeople if you're not taking care
of yourself.
Self-care is a really, reallyimportant part.
So those are three tips thatyou can take and hopefully you
can take those, and I want youto just really try and
acknowledge your growth thisweek.
What are the small wins thatyou're having?
What are some areas in yourlife that you're feeling like a
(17:13):
little bit more confident, justa little bit more than you were
yesterday?
Every mom's journey is unique.
The confidence that we all findthrough motherhood is universal
.
Though Confidence is auniversal thing, it's everyone
wants to feel confident, nomatter what our motherhood
journey looks like.
Motherhood will forever be oneof the most powerful forces that
(17:34):
has helped in shaping myconfidence.
It's the hardest, mostrewarding thing that I have ever
done and probably will ever doin my entire life.
And I know that I am not the.
I would not be the person thatI am or have the confidence that
I have without being a mom.
(17:54):
Think about your experiences.
I'd love to hear yourexperiences.
So if you have stories ofconfidence in motherhood like,
please share them with me.
Have stories of confidence inmotherhood like please share
them with me, send me a DM,share them on social media and
tag me.
I would love to hear all of thestories, and I know personally
for me, when I hear stories ofmoms feeling confident, it
inspires me and makes me want tobe better, and I think that we
(18:16):
can learn from each other,rather than looking at another
mom and being like oh, they areso much more confident in this
area than I am.
I wish I was like this there'sso much better at this than I am
.
Let's not look at it that way.
Let's look at it as more likewow, they have come a long way
in their motherhood journey andthey are feeling confident in
this area.
What can I learn from them?
And use it to lift each otherup and to inspire each other.
(18:41):
Thank you so much for listeningand tuning in.
I am really excited to be backdoing regular podcast episodes.
They will air every Tuesday andI cannot wait to continue this
journey, talking aboutmotherhood and beauty and
confidence and helping myself tofeel more empowered in who I am
as a person, and I want you tohopefully feel the same.
(19:02):
So, if you enjoyed this episode, I would love it if you shared
it with a mom friend that youfeel like could use a little
confidence boost or just areminder that they're doing an
awesome job, because you reallyare doing amazing.
So thank you for tuning in andI will talk to you next week.
Thanks for listening.
Connect with me on Instagram @confidently beautiful podcast
(19:23):
and share this episode withsomeone in your life who could
use a little reminder of justhow amazing they already are.
Stay confidently beautiful.
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