August 7, 2023 • 24 mins
Ever pondered on how to weather the rollercoaster ride of sending your kids back to school? Pull up a chair and join us as we explore this emotional journey with my good friend Nicki, a mother of six who has experienced it all. Nicki spills the beans on managing these mixed feelings, from praying and affirming her children into a positive mindset to the beauty in watching them carve out their independence.
You'll pick up a few tricks as Nicki walks us through her strategies for dealing with a full house and busy schedules brought on by the new school year. She unveils her routine in planning the week, enforcing a bedtime routine, and ensuring homework is done in a timely manner. We gush about the perks of having teenage drivers and a small house in town and the crucial role of routines during the school year.
In the spirit of growth, we dive into the sometimes tricky path of letting our kids fly solo. From packing lunches to back-to-school routines, we delve into the emotional aspects of raising children and the joy of watching them flourish. Tune in as Nicki shares her wisdom on instilling responsibility in her kids, from sandwich-making to packing their own lunches. Don't miss out on this enlightening conversation packed with relatable experiences and handy tips.
Connect with Nicki on Instagram @review.momma
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Ciera (00:03):
You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
, a podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
we all have confidence inside us.
We just need to bring it outand I'm here to show you how
Body image, dreams, parenting,style, personality and more here
we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
I have my beautiful friend,nicki here.
(00:26):
Nicki and I are friends throughour makeup and skincare
business and I have gotten tomeet her in person a couple
times now and she is just so fun.
She is a mom of six and Ithought that this would be a
really fun episode to talk toher and pick her brain about
back to school, because she hasall the experience of having all
(00:47):
these kids.
She has different age ranges ofkids and I thought it would be
really fun.
So, nicki, why don't you startoff by introducing yourself?
Nicki (00:56):
My name is Nicki.
I'm going to be here, Ciera,with you.
I love you.
So I have six kids, three boys,three girls.
They range from 22 down to nine.
So I have three that have, thatare graduated and out of school
and three that are still inschool.
And we live on a working cattleranch in the middle of nowhere.
(01:16):
We're 25 miles from the nearestneighbor town, whatever, so
it's just us out here and wejust work cows and live the
ranch life, and so, yeah, it'swild and crazy, but it's a good
life.
I really enjoy it.
So I do a couple of work fromhome jobs, but Unique is my
(01:37):
favorite.
Ciera (01:38):
Yeah, it's a good one, so I can see why I had no idea
that you were 25 miles away fromanother person.
That's crazy, it's wild.
Nicki (01:47):
A huge adjustment Adjustment when we first moved
here.
Huge, We've been here 24 years.
So we've been here a long timeand my kids know no other life.
Ciera (01:57):
Wow that's crazy.
Well, so you have three kidsgoing back to school.
So here in Southern Utah weended school, I know, quite a
bit earlier than like otherpeople in the other, in other
parts of the country.
Are you kind of the same?
School end of May, yeah, weended right before Memorial Day.
Okay, so you'll go back,probably mid August, just like
we will.
Yep, we do, okay.
(02:19):
Yeah, I know it's crazy.
It's like what, five, six weeksaway?
I can't even believe it.
So I'm not ready.
So how are you feeling aboutsending your kids back to school
?
Are you like happy, are younervous?
Are you like what?
Tell me all the feelings, goodand bad?
Yeah, I mean, I'm both.
Nicki (02:38):
I love having my kids home.
My husband especially loveshaving them home, because
summertime my kids always saysummer vacation, what's that?
Because they don't feel likethey get a vacation.
Because my husband's like oh, Ineed your home and we have so
many projects that he wants todo.
So we love having them home, Ilove having them here.
You know, being together as afamily, working, has really
(02:58):
strengthened that family bondfor us.
But by the time it's time to goback to school, I'm like bye,
anyway, yeah, and a schedule,and so it's both.
I love it and I hate it.
But I think every person isthat way.
I think you know I can't, butat the same time we're like you
need to go back to school andbless, bless parts of teachers
(03:19):
that take them on.
You know, every year when it'stime to go back.
Ciera (03:23):
Oh, absolutely yeah.
So how do your kids typicallyfeel?
I'm sure every year isdifferent, but how do you deal
with it?
If your kids are feelinganxious or nervous or scared,
like how, as a mom, like that'shard to see your kids feeling
all that, how do you help them?
Nicki (03:38):
It is for sure, and I feel like the bigger they get,
for me, bigger They've gotten.
That's a little bit easier whenthey're little.
It's a lot harder because ofthat unknown.
Honestly, for us a lot of it isjust prayer, family prayer, you
know, and and Encouraging themand reminding them that they're
confident.
I think those daily Montres Ithink it's kind of become a big
(04:01):
thing in our world but I thinkthose things really work.
I think our minds are sopowerful and just Saying those
things with our kids andreminding them you know I'm
brave, I'm strong, I'm smart,I'm capable, and just reminding
them that they can do hardthings.
And I feel like I have a Extraadded benefit here, where we
(04:22):
live and what we do, that mykids have had to learn they can
do hard things, they can take ona task and tackle it without
someone there, you know, tousher them along the way.
But I think just work thosethings daily and encouraging
them when they do Even thingsaround the house you know my
youngest like I try to make eggsthis summer and just being like
(04:45):
look at you, look how good youare, like you took something
that you didn't think you coulddo and you learned how to do it
and now you're mastering it.
And I think, just remind themof those things when they get in
a situation where they'rescared or they're anxious to be.
Have that inner voice tellingthem I'm okay, I can do this, I,
I am brave, I am confident, Iam strong and I can handle this.
(05:09):
So I think I think those arereally important things.
To the time.
They're small, yeah that'sreally good.
Ciera (05:15):
I, even for me as a mom, like as I've sent I mean my
oldest is only going into firstgrade, so I mean I'm like brand
new to this world School buteven for me, like sending her
off to kindergarten and it wasall-day kindergarten Like she
was feeling all those things andlike I did I you know I did a
lot of that like you know youcan do this, but it even helps
me as a mom, like telling herlike you can do this, you're
(05:36):
brave.
Like it reminds me like, oh yes, she is brave, like she can do
this, and so I think it not onlyhelps our kids but it also
helps us, which is really greatfor sure, by myself I can do
hard things all the time yeahyeah, I love that advice.
That's so good.
And do you have any like reallyfun back-to-school traditions
that you guys do as a family?
We don't really do a lot.
Nicki (05:58):
But one thing we always do is we always have a really
fun dinner the night before.
I usually kind of let the kidspick what they want to have,
just to kind of have one lastfamily before it gets really
crazy again, especially when youget into those teen years and
sports and practices and all thethings.
So we love to have a really funfamily dinner and then the
(06:20):
first morning of school ofcourse we do the pictures that
everybody else does.
My husband loves to makebreakfast.
That became his thing when ourkids were little.
He grew up with a mom thatalways made a good breakfast
before school and I was with amom that did the same thing.
So we tried to continue that.
It's gotten harder.
They've got their arm.
Mornings we have cereal but wetry to have a hot breakfast
(06:40):
mornings a week but for sure onthe first morning my husband
always gets up and makes youknow, peas and eggs and sauce
and he makes a big breakfast forhim.
And then not my kids but mylittle kids.
I love going into school withthem the first day, taking them
to class.
My kids know the teachers inour school because it's so small
, but you know you sure theygreet their teacher.
(07:01):
Take a picture Just kind ofmaking a big deal it's.
It's a big deal at our school.
They roll out a red carpet andthey play music and the teachers
all actually stand along thecarpet and they're like, oh, I'm
here for the kids, oh, it's sofun, and then you're here, and
you're here, you know, and sothat makes it really fun.
But I think making it fun andsomething to look forward to
(07:23):
helps them be less anxious andless nervous, because they're
excited, and that's that's agood thing.
They should be excited aboutgoing back to school and seeing
their friends and, you know,starting a new year.
Ciera (07:32):
Yeah, that's cool Perks of a small school that you know
that they take the time to likedo that for their kids, like
that's awesome.
Some back to school traditionsthat I've heard that I think are
so cute is similar to like whatyou do.
They do a dinner the nightbefore but they call it like a
back to school feast and theylike go all out and they have
crowns for the kids.
I've like seen stuff like that.
(07:54):
I'm like, oh, that's so cuteand like, just like you said,
making it special and excitingand helping them to feel excited
for it.
Speaking of systems, you taughtme mentioned that you love the
back to school season, which sodo I because of the systems and
the routines and you know all ofthat.
So what have you found andobviously your situation is a
lot different than maybe thetypical family, because you do
(08:14):
live on ranch you know you havea lot more responsibilities that
your kids are going to havethat maybe most kids don't.
But have you found like anysystems that work for you, like
with homework or chores as theyget back into the back to school
season?
What do you do as a family?
Nicki (08:29):
Yeah for sure.
So one of the things I startedyears ago that has been a huge
help for me is I started to be abig builder in our kitchen.
It used to be on my fridge andI got a new fridge.
It didn't fit, but I hang it onthe wall and at the beginning
of every week, usually likeduring Sunday dinner, we just go
over, okay, what do we havethis week, and then we put on
the calendar.
You know, practice, pianolessons, youth activities, you
(08:53):
know if my husband and I be gonefor the day, we just we kind of
map that all out for weeks.
Everybody's kind of on the samepage and I feel like that a lot
.
So then suddenly during theweek we're like, oh, we've got,
we've got to all go footballgame out of town or whatever.
So I feel like that hasespecially the bigger my kids
(09:13):
got and involved, they got inthings.
That has played a huge and justkeeping every kind of you know,
semi organized.
I wouldn't say I'm organized,but that just keep everyone on
the same page and everyone awareof what's going on.
The other thing we do and thisis more about going back to
school, but I feel like about aweek before school starts I try
(09:38):
to ease us back that routine ofa normal bedtime and getting up
when we should get up and havingjust kind of set schedule in
place.
So because summers are crazy,we're running around, we're
doing a million things, my kidsnever go to bed and then all
this time to go back to schooland they're so tired and they
don't want to go and they don'twant to do, and so I feel like
(09:59):
starting that routine before weget back to school also helps us
ease into that so much better.
And then, of course, we, just assoon as we get home from the
day which sometimes is rightafter school, sometimes is not,
depending on practices.
But my kids know as soon as wewalk in the door we get out
homework, we get started on that.
Homework is first we get thatout of the way, then we go to
(10:23):
chores, get that out of the way,and once that's done and they
have time for dinner to do stuff, because once I feel like
during the school year, once wehave dinner it's like time to
start the bed to the dean, andso they.
We just have always had thatschedule.
That that's what we do and Ithink, just keeping those Skeds
in place and trying not to veerfrom that, which sometimes you
(10:44):
have to do, just helps keep themgoing and me saying as a mom,
because they know what to expectand I think that I think that's
important with kids, that theyneed to expect.
Ciera (10:56):
Which is what personal know.
As for you, with yourbusinesses and just the things
that you needed to get done tolike take care of yourself.
It's probably nice for you toknow like, hey, this is the time
that my kids are going to needme, and then, like, I have maybe
a little bit of time especiallyas your kids get older, before
bedtime and all of that to dowhatever it is you were want to.
Nicki (11:16):
It has been nice what teenagers that could drive their
own day where I don't drive inand take kids to school or go to
town.
Or which has been nice is Iwere in school and I didn't have
a driver.
I went to town and then usuallystay in there.
We actually have a second very,very tiny house in there where
I would go with the kids thatweren't in school and spend the
(11:39):
day and had to, you know,transport things to do in there,
laundry or whatever.
But now that I have teenagedrivers, a lot of the days I
just get to stay home, which isnice, because then I have that
window where they're at school,you know, to get stuff done here
, which is nice.
Ciera (11:54):
How nice that you have a little place that you can go,
because the way you feel,because the way you feel being
25 miles away from everythingyou need, you know that would be
a lot of driving if you'regoing back and forth.
Nicki (12:04):
And when I've had.
You know, once I got teenage Iwas in kids in high school.
I had kids that played sportsand did dance and they had
practices after school.
So then my little kids couldjust what we call it the little
house, because it's tiny, mylittle little house, and would
have some, have a snack andstart on their reading or their
homework or watch TV or you know, and so we kind of have to have
(12:25):
that so that my kids startedschool and it has been really
nice to have Okay, those arelike really good things.
Ciera (12:30):
What do you do about?
Do you pack lunches for yourkids?
Do they pack their own lunch?
Do they eat at school?
What's your what's your lunchsituation like?
Nicki (12:40):
I do a mixture of both.
We get the you know thecalendar every month of what our
school is doing for lunch andthen they decide my big kids
that are at the high school thehigh school is actually on the
block away from our little housein town, so I keep it stocked
to a sandwich stuff you know,quesadillas stuff in the freezer
.
My big kids either walk ordrive over there and eat.
(13:01):
But my elementary school kidsthey look at the menu.
Usually at the beginning of themonth.
We try to look over the menuand see they they all have days
that they're like yuck, I don'tlike that.
And so they know that on thatday they pack lunch and I keep a
little basket tote thing in mypantry with things that they
(13:22):
like and they pretty much do iton their own.
When I, you know, I'll try toremind them that before he tarot
is how salad or whatever it isthey don't like, we need to make
your lunch.
They're big enough now.
I mean my youngest is nine,they're now the ones they're
dressed and have eaten breakfastand stuff.
Then I'll tell them can't getyour lunch made and they can
(13:43):
make a sandwich.
Get their lunch bag and thenthey grow, you know a fruit or
Some kind of snack or whateveryou know.
They want to go in it and they,they pretty much do it
themselves.
I'm telling you, when you'regetting enough to do all those
things by themselves, like yourmom, life really takes a turn
for the better.
Yeah, and they can do all thosethings by themselves.
(14:06):
It is so nice.
I mean I remember being whereyou are and a little, and you
have to get everybody dressedand do everybody's hair.
You know all the things and Imean I miss those days.
Don't get me wrong.
I, I really do miss those dayswhen they were little and so
much and needed all the time.
But this is a totally differentphase and it's kind of nice.
(14:26):
So I make sure of home lunchand school lunch, but they,
they're pretty good at handlingit on their own.
I've turned really hard toraise very independent kids,
which has, you know, livingwhere we live Obviously aided in
that a ton that I feel like allsix of them are very
Independent.
But I, I'm I'm proud of thataccomplishment, that I know that
(14:48):
.
You know they're good on theirown.
They don't need me there tohold their hand.
Ciera (14:52):
So how do you feel confident sending them off to
school we kind of already talkedabout this with like With their
talking them through theiranxieties and their nerves and
everything but like, what do youdo for yourself?
Because I'm I'm sure it nevergets easier, even like the older
they get, I'm sure it's it'sstill just as hard.
So what do you do for yourselfas you prepare for back to
school?
Nicki (15:12):
I think I do remember what that I've taught them.
All that I've taught them.
When they were little and Iwent to town, I was still right
there, and now, most of the days, I don't go to town and so I'm
here.
So if I do have one of my kidscall and say they're sick, I got
hurt or something, I'm notright there and so that's one
reason why I after my myselflike they can't, they can handle
(15:34):
this, they.
I've taught them how to beindependent.
I've taught them To beconfident.
I've taught them to be strongand brave.
I'm not perfect and they're notperfect.
It's always a process.
Even you know, my oldest that's22 still calls and my advice
and means things.
But I have, I feel like I havetaught them those values.
(15:58):
I Just have to remind myselfand when I'm I'm nervous for
them that they're gonna be okayand that it I feel like that's
one of the heart things as a momis letting them go.
It's like the mom and the birdpushing the baby out of the nest
.
Like I tell you how to fly.
Now I got to sit back and watchyou do it and I'll cry talking
(16:19):
about it.
It's hard.
It's hard to let them go,because you know they're going
to have hard things, they'regoing to have playing blocks,
they're going to have struggles,especially as they get bigger,
and those teenage years, peerpressure and kids are harsh and
judge and it's almost moreemotional things that I worry
(16:41):
about than the school and thosethings.
But I just I have to constantlyhave that going, that reminder
in my head, that they're goingto be okay.
They have things to learn, theyhave challenges to face, just
like all of us do, and they'regoing to be.
I feel like I've taught them thethings that they need to know
(17:03):
and they're going to be okay.
They're going to figure it out.
They have to figure it out.
I can't hold their hand forever.
As much as you want to as a mom, you want to just keep them
right there.
I mean it kills me that I'vealready gone from home.
It seems like I just startedhaving babies and was in your
stage of life and half of themhave left the nest and it's so
(17:23):
hard but at the same time it'sso like there's so much joy in
watching them succeed and handlethose things and, you know,
become the people that they'regoing to be.
So it's a constant struggle.
It really is.
It's a constant struggle andI'm, you know, I'm figuring it
out, just like everybody else.
I'm not, I don't have it allfigured out yet either.
Ciera (17:44):
I think you are such a good mom and just leaving the
story of, I mean you teachingthem how to make you know your
nine year old makes their ownpeanut butter sandwich or
whatever for lunch Like I'm surethe first time they made the
sandwich, it was painful towatch, like you know, or like
they don't put everythingthey're going to need in their
lunch, and you know.
But you had to just but you hadto teach them how to do it and
(18:04):
they had to fail, and maybe nothaving enough food at lunch or
not, you know whatever, but youhad to teach them to be
independent and I think thatthat's just, that's just an
example of the kind of mom youare and I think that it's
incredible.
So thank you for sharing your,your wise words of wisdom as
you're continuing to grow andlearn.
I think that was.
I think that covers everythingthat I, all the questions that I
(18:25):
had as far as back to schoolgoes.
But one thing I do like toalways ask my guests and it does
not need to be related toanything that we have talked
about but what is one thing thatyou do every day to help you
feel confident?
Nicki (18:38):
Get up and get ready.
I feel like getting up,showering, doing my hair, doing
my makeup, making my bed thatmorning routine.
When we moved here we werenewly married.
We'd only been married justover a year.
I knew nothing about ranchingand this ranch has been in my
husband's family for like ahundred years and we moved out
(19:00):
here to run it not reallyknowing what we were doing.
And I remember my mom sayingjust because you live in the
middle of nowhere doesn't meanyou should turn into a hatch
Always got ready.
My mom was a stay at home mom.
Most of my most of my childhoodwasn't until I was, you know,
in high school that she went towork, but she always got up and
(19:20):
got ready and she was like youstill need to get up and get
ready, do that for you.
And I really tapped her heartand was like you know what?
There's?
No, I shouldn't get up and getready.
And I have a friend that liveson a farm on the other side of
the town closest to us andunless she's leaving the house
she doesn't.
She's like no one's going tosee me.
Why should I care?
Which is fine that you know.
That's her life, she can dowhat she wants.
(19:41):
But for me, I feel like if I getready, I feel better, I have
more energy, I have more, youknow, just drive to get things
done in the day.
If I don't, if I stay in mypajamas and I don't get ready, I
don't want to do anything, andso I feel like that is a huge, a
huge confidence boost for me tojust feel good about myself and
(20:04):
just give me the boost to getthings done.
So that's something I do everyday.
Some days it takes me a littlelonger to get there, but I get
up and get ready every morning.
That's really good.
And make your bed is a gamechanger.
I'm telling you, I'm shockedhow many people don't get up and
make their bed every day, doyou?
Ciera (20:24):
No, I'm like hit or miss, Like.
Sometimes I do, sometimes Idon't, but the days that I do,
I'm like, oh, I feel soaccomplished.
I made my bed, Like you know,it's just something that took
literally two minutes.
Nicki (20:35):
Yeah, I do it every.
Oh, I'm like crazy about it.
I have, and my kids for a longtime did not To the point.
I mean, when they were little,I moved to the beds and then,
when they got to the point thatthey were big enough that I was
like, okay, you need your bed.
And most didn't.
And my middle daughter thatjust turned 16, just within this
last school year, suddenlystarted making her bed every day
(20:57):
.
I was like, mom, my room looksso much cleaner.
And I was like, oh, I've beentrying to tell you guys that and
I've been saying all thesethings in the videos, which
makes me so happy.
Ciera (21:09):
Yes, well, there is something about just getting
into a freshly made bed like itjust feels so much better than a
messy bed, which is weird.
Nicki (21:16):
It's the exact same blankets, but it just feels
better I totally agree, totallyagree, and it really does make
your room instantly look cleaner.
Ciera (21:26):
Yes, it does yes, a piece of advice.
I love it so much.
Well, where can the listenersconnect with you?
Nicki (21:35):
So my Instagram is reviewmama m-o-m-m-a.
I share, obviously, uniquemakeup, but all kinds of
products.
I'm a self-proclaimed productjunkie.
I love to try new things,always looking for interesting
things, new products, things foryour kitchen, things for your
home, things for your health andbeauty, all the things.
(21:56):
And so I share lots of thingsthere.
And then Rounge Life, of course, and my unique business.
And so, yeah, at reviewmamacom,that's my, that's our.
At review mama, I guess, is myInstagram handle.
Ciera (22:07):
So Well, I know you've shared a lot of good things.
I like you just shared theramen thing.
Speaking of getting your kidsto be independent that ramen
cooker I'm like that's genius,like I would use that for myself
, game changer, I know, yeah,that thing's a game changer.
Yeah, you guys definitely needto check out her Instagram
because she has all sorts ofgood gadgets that you're going
to want.
(22:27):
But thank you so much, Nicki.
This was really fun and Iappreciate all of your advice as
we get ready for back to school.
Nicki (22:35):
Thank you, good luck with your little one.
Ciera (22:37):
That first one is scary, but yeah, once she's starting
her brand new school this year,and so I'm like I feel like I'm
doing it all over again, but itwill be good so.
Nicki (22:49):
She'll do great.
Ciera (22:51):
Well, thank you, nicki.
We will talk to you, hopefullysometime again soon, because I'm
sure we would have anotherthing that I could pick your
brain.
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So go to flodesk, f-l-o, desk.
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(24:19):
Thanks for listening, stayconfident.
You're listening to Confidently Beautiful with Ciera
, a podcast to help you stayconfidently beautiful, because
we all have confidence inside us.
We just need to bring it outand I'm here to show you how
Body image, dreams, parenting,style, personality and more here
we cover it all.
Get ready to stay confidentlybeautiful.
I have my beautiful friend,nicki here.
(00:26):
Nicki and I are friends throughour makeup and skincare
business and I have gotten tomeet her in person a couple
times now and she is just so fun.
She is a mom of six and Ithought that this would be a
really fun episode to talk toher and pick her brain about
back to school, because she hasall the experience of having all
(00:47):
these kids.
She has different age ranges ofkids and I thought it would be
really fun.
So, nicki, why don't you startoff by introducing yourself?
Nicki (00:56):
My name is Nicki.
I'm going to be here, Ciera,with you.
I love you.
So I have six kids, three boys,three girls.
They range from 22 down to nine.
So I have three that have, thatare graduated and out of school
and three that are still inschool.
And we live on a working cattleranch in the middle of nowhere.
(01:16):
We're 25 miles from the nearestneighbor town, whatever, so
it's just us out here and wejust work cows and live the
ranch life, and so, yeah, it'swild and crazy, but it's a good
life.
I really enjoy it.
So I do a couple of work fromhome jobs, but Unique is my
(01:37):
favorite.
Ciera (01:38):
Yeah, it's a good one, so I can see why I had no idea
that you were 25 miles away fromanother person.
That's crazy, it's wild.
Nicki (01:47):
A huge adjustment Adjustment when we first moved
here.
Huge, We've been here 24 years.
So we've been here a long timeand my kids know no other life.
Ciera (01:57):
Wow that's crazy.
Well, so you have three kidsgoing back to school.
So here in Southern Utah weended school, I know, quite a
bit earlier than like otherpeople in the other, in other
parts of the country.
Are you kind of the same?
School end of May, yeah, weended right before Memorial Day.
Okay, so you'll go back,probably mid August, just like
we will.
Yep, we do, okay.
(02:19):
Yeah, I know it's crazy.
It's like what, five, six weeksaway?
I can't even believe it.
So I'm not ready.
So how are you feeling aboutsending your kids back to school
?
Are you like happy, are younervous?
Are you like what?
Tell me all the feelings, goodand bad?
Yeah, I mean, I'm both.
Nicki (02:38):
I love having my kids home.
My husband especially loveshaving them home, because
summertime my kids always saysummer vacation, what's that?
Because they don't feel likethey get a vacation.
Because my husband's like oh, Ineed your home and we have so
many projects that he wants todo.
So we love having them home, Ilove having them here.
You know, being together as afamily, working, has really
(02:58):
strengthened that family bondfor us.
But by the time it's time to goback to school, I'm like bye,
anyway, yeah, and a schedule,and so it's both.
I love it and I hate it.
But I think every person isthat way.
I think you know I can't, butat the same time we're like you
need to go back to school andbless, bless parts of teachers
(03:19):
that take them on.
You know, every year when it'stime to go back.
Ciera (03:23):
Oh, absolutely yeah.
So how do your kids typicallyfeel?
I'm sure every year isdifferent, but how do you deal
with it?
If your kids are feelinganxious or nervous or scared,
like how, as a mom, like that'shard to see your kids feeling
all that, how do you help them?
Nicki (03:38):
It is for sure, and I feel like the bigger they get,
for me, bigger They've gotten.
That's a little bit easier whenthey're little.
It's a lot harder because ofthat unknown.
Honestly, for us a lot of it isjust prayer, family prayer, you
know, and and Encouraging themand reminding them that they're
confident.
I think those daily Montres Ithink it's kind of become a big
(04:01):
thing in our world but I thinkthose things really work.
I think our minds are sopowerful and just Saying those
things with our kids andreminding them you know I'm
brave, I'm strong, I'm smart,I'm capable, and just reminding
them that they can do hardthings.
And I feel like I have a Extraadded benefit here, where we
(04:22):
live and what we do, that mykids have had to learn they can
do hard things, they can take ona task and tackle it without
someone there, you know, tousher them along the way.
But I think just work thosethings daily and encouraging
them when they do Even thingsaround the house you know my
youngest like I try to make eggsthis summer and just being like
(04:45):
look at you, look how good youare, like you took something
that you didn't think you coulddo and you learned how to do it
and now you're mastering it.
And I think, just remind themof those things when they get in
a situation where they'rescared or they're anxious to be.
Have that inner voice tellingthem I'm okay, I can do this, I,
I am brave, I am confident, Iam strong and I can handle this.
(05:09):
So I think I think those arereally important things.
To the time.
They're small, yeah that'sreally good.
Ciera (05:15):
I, even for me as a mom, like as I've sent I mean my
oldest is only going into firstgrade, so I mean I'm like brand
new to this world School buteven for me, like sending her
off to kindergarten and it wasall-day kindergarten Like she
was feeling all those things andlike I did I you know I did a
lot of that like you know youcan do this, but it even helps
me as a mom, like telling herlike you can do this, you're
(05:36):
brave.
Like it reminds me like, oh yes, she is brave, like she can do
this, and so I think it not onlyhelps our kids but it also
helps us, which is really greatfor sure, by myself I can do
hard things all the time yeahyeah, I love that advice.
That's so good.
And do you have any like reallyfun back-to-school traditions
that you guys do as a family?
We don't really do a lot.
Nicki (05:58):
But one thing we always do is we always have a really
fun dinner the night before.
I usually kind of let the kidspick what they want to have,
just to kind of have one lastfamily before it gets really
crazy again, especially when youget into those teen years and
sports and practices and all thethings.
So we love to have a really funfamily dinner and then the
(06:20):
first morning of school ofcourse we do the pictures that
everybody else does.
My husband loves to makebreakfast.
That became his thing when ourkids were little.
He grew up with a mom thatalways made a good breakfast
before school and I was with amom that did the same thing.
So we tried to continue that.
It's gotten harder.
They've got their arm.
Mornings we have cereal but wetry to have a hot breakfast
(06:40):
mornings a week but for sure onthe first morning my husband
always gets up and makes youknow, peas and eggs and sauce
and he makes a big breakfast forhim.
And then not my kids but mylittle kids.
I love going into school withthem the first day, taking them
to class.
My kids know the teachers inour school because it's so small
, but you know you sure theygreet their teacher.
(07:01):
Take a picture Just kind ofmaking a big deal it's.
It's a big deal at our school.
They roll out a red carpet andthey play music and the teachers
all actually stand along thecarpet and they're like, oh, I'm
here for the kids, oh, it's sofun, and then you're here, and
you're here, you know, and sothat makes it really fun.
But I think making it fun andsomething to look forward to
(07:23):
helps them be less anxious andless nervous, because they're
excited, and that's that's agood thing.
They should be excited aboutgoing back to school and seeing
their friends and, you know,starting a new year.
Ciera (07:32):
Yeah, that's cool Perks of a small school that you know
that they take the time to likedo that for their kids, like
that's awesome.
Some back to school traditionsthat I've heard that I think are
so cute is similar to like whatyou do.
They do a dinner the nightbefore but they call it like a
back to school feast and theylike go all out and they have
crowns for the kids.
I've like seen stuff like that.
(07:54):
I'm like, oh, that's so cuteand like, just like you said,
making it special and excitingand helping them to feel excited
for it.
Speaking of systems, you taughtme mentioned that you love the
back to school season, which sodo I because of the systems and
the routines and you know all ofthat.
So what have you found andobviously your situation is a
lot different than maybe thetypical family, because you do
(08:14):
live on ranch you know you havea lot more responsibilities that
your kids are going to havethat maybe most kids don't.
But have you found like anysystems that work for you, like
with homework or chores as theyget back into the back to school
season?
What do you do as a family?
Nicki (08:29):
Yeah for sure.
So one of the things I startedyears ago that has been a huge
help for me is I started to be abig builder in our kitchen.
It used to be on my fridge andI got a new fridge.
It didn't fit, but I hang it onthe wall and at the beginning
of every week, usually likeduring Sunday dinner, we just go
over, okay, what do we havethis week, and then we put on
the calendar.
You know, practice, pianolessons, youth activities, you
(08:53):
know if my husband and I be gonefor the day, we just we kind of
map that all out for weeks.
Everybody's kind of on the samepage and I feel like that a lot
.
So then suddenly during theweek we're like, oh, we've got,
we've got to all go footballgame out of town or whatever.
So I feel like that hasespecially the bigger my kids
(09:13):
got and involved, they got inthings.
That has played a huge and justkeeping every kind of you know,
semi organized.
I wouldn't say I'm organized,but that just keep everyone on
the same page and everyone awareof what's going on.
The other thing we do and thisis more about going back to
school, but I feel like about aweek before school starts I try
(09:38):
to ease us back that routine ofa normal bedtime and getting up
when we should get up and havingjust kind of set schedule in
place.
So because summers are crazy,we're running around, we're
doing a million things, my kidsnever go to bed and then all
this time to go back to schooland they're so tired and they
don't want to go and they don'twant to do, and so I feel like
(09:59):
starting that routine before weget back to school also helps us
ease into that so much better.
And then, of course, we, just assoon as we get home from the
day which sometimes is rightafter school, sometimes is not,
depending on practices.
But my kids know as soon as wewalk in the door we get out
homework, we get started on that.
Homework is first we get thatout of the way, then we go to
(10:23):
chores, get that out of the way,and once that's done and they
have time for dinner to do stuff, because once I feel like
during the school year, once wehave dinner it's like time to
start the bed to the dean, andso they.
We just have always had thatschedule.
That that's what we do and Ithink, just keeping those Skeds
in place and trying not to veerfrom that, which sometimes you
(10:44):
have to do, just helps keep themgoing and me saying as a mom,
because they know what to expectand I think that I think that's
important with kids, that theyneed to expect.
Ciera (10:56):
Which is what personal know.
As for you, with yourbusinesses and just the things
that you needed to get done tolike take care of yourself.
It's probably nice for you toknow like, hey, this is the time
that my kids are going to needme, and then, like, I have maybe
a little bit of time especiallyas your kids get older, before
bedtime and all of that to dowhatever it is you were want to.
Nicki (11:16):
It has been nice what teenagers that could drive their
own day where I don't drive inand take kids to school or go to
town.
Or which has been nice is Iwere in school and I didn't have
a driver.
I went to town and then usuallystay in there.
We actually have a second very,very tiny house in there where
I would go with the kids thatweren't in school and spend the
(11:39):
day and had to, you know,transport things to do in there,
laundry or whatever.
But now that I have teenagedrivers, a lot of the days I
just get to stay home, which isnice, because then I have that
window where they're at school,you know, to get stuff done here
, which is nice.
Ciera (11:54):
How nice that you have a little place that you can go,
because the way you feel,because the way you feel being
25 miles away from everythingyou need, you know that would be
a lot of driving if you'regoing back and forth.
Nicki (12:04):
And when I've had.
You know, once I got teenage Iwas in kids in high school.
I had kids that played sportsand did dance and they had
practices after school.
So then my little kids couldjust what we call it the little
house, because it's tiny, mylittle little house, and would
have some, have a snack andstart on their reading or their
homework or watch TV or you know, and so we kind of have to have
(12:25):
that so that my kids startedschool and it has been really
nice to have Okay, those arelike really good things.
Ciera (12:30):
What do you do about?
Do you pack lunches for yourkids?
Do they pack their own lunch?
Do they eat at school?
What's your what's your lunchsituation like?
Nicki (12:40):
I do a mixture of both.
We get the you know thecalendar every month of what our
school is doing for lunch andthen they decide my big kids
that are at the high school thehigh school is actually on the
block away from our little housein town, so I keep it stocked
to a sandwich stuff you know,quesadillas stuff in the freezer
.
My big kids either walk ordrive over there and eat.
(13:01):
But my elementary school kidsthey look at the menu.
Usually at the beginning of themonth.
We try to look over the menuand see they they all have days
that they're like yuck, I don'tlike that.
And so they know that on thatday they pack lunch and I keep a
little basket tote thing in mypantry with things that they
(13:22):
like and they pretty much do iton their own.
When I, you know, I'll try toremind them that before he tarot
is how salad or whatever it isthey don't like, we need to make
your lunch.
They're big enough now.
I mean my youngest is nine,they're now the ones they're
dressed and have eaten breakfastand stuff.
Then I'll tell them can't getyour lunch made and they can
(13:43):
make a sandwich.
Get their lunch bag and thenthey grow, you know a fruit or
Some kind of snack or whateveryou know.
They want to go in it and they,they pretty much do it
themselves.
I'm telling you, when you'regetting enough to do all those
things by themselves, like yourmom, life really takes a turn
for the better.
Yeah, and they can do all thosethings by themselves.
(14:06):
It is so nice.
I mean I remember being whereyou are and a little, and you
have to get everybody dressedand do everybody's hair.
You know all the things and Imean I miss those days.
Don't get me wrong.
I, I really do miss those dayswhen they were little and so
much and needed all the time.
But this is a totally differentphase and it's kind of nice.
(14:26):
So I make sure of home lunchand school lunch, but they,
they're pretty good at handlingit on their own.
I've turned really hard toraise very independent kids,
which has, you know, livingwhere we live Obviously aided in
that a ton that I feel like allsix of them are very
Independent.
But I, I'm I'm proud of thataccomplishment, that I know that
(14:48):
.
You know they're good on theirown.
They don't need me there tohold their hand.
Ciera (14:52):
So how do you feel confident sending them off to
school we kind of already talkedabout this with like With their
talking them through theiranxieties and their nerves and
everything but like, what do youdo for yourself?
Because I'm I'm sure it nevergets easier, even like the older
they get, I'm sure it's it'sstill just as hard.
So what do you do for yourselfas you prepare for back to
school?
Nicki (15:12):
I think I do remember what that I've taught them.
All that I've taught them.
When they were little and Iwent to town, I was still right
there, and now, most of the days, I don't go to town and so I'm
here.
So if I do have one of my kidscall and say they're sick, I got
hurt or something, I'm notright there and so that's one
reason why I after my myselflike they can't, they can handle
(15:34):
this, they.
I've taught them how to beindependent.
I've taught them To beconfident.
I've taught them to be strongand brave.
I'm not perfect and they're notperfect.
It's always a process.
Even you know, my oldest that's22 still calls and my advice
and means things.
But I have, I feel like I havetaught them those values.
(15:58):
I Just have to remind myselfand when I'm I'm nervous for
them that they're gonna be okayand that it I feel like that's
one of the heart things as a momis letting them go.
It's like the mom and the birdpushing the baby out of the nest
.
Like I tell you how to fly.
Now I got to sit back and watchyou do it and I'll cry talking
(16:19):
about it.
It's hard.
It's hard to let them go,because you know they're going
to have hard things, they'regoing to have playing blocks,
they're going to have struggles,especially as they get bigger,
and those teenage years, peerpressure and kids are harsh and
judge and it's almost moreemotional things that I worry
(16:41):
about than the school and thosethings.
But I just I have to constantlyhave that going, that reminder
in my head, that they're goingto be okay.
They have things to learn, theyhave challenges to face, just
like all of us do, and they'regoing to be.
I feel like I've taught them thethings that they need to know
(17:03):
and they're going to be okay.
They're going to figure it out.
They have to figure it out.
I can't hold their hand forever.
As much as you want to as a mom, you want to just keep them
right there.
I mean it kills me that I'vealready gone from home.
It seems like I just startedhaving babies and was in your
stage of life and half of themhave left the nest and it's so
(17:23):
hard but at the same time it'sso like there's so much joy in
watching them succeed and handlethose things and, you know,
become the people that they'regoing to be.
So it's a constant struggle.
It really is.
It's a constant struggle andI'm, you know, I'm figuring it
out, just like everybody else.
I'm not, I don't have it allfigured out yet either.
Ciera (17:44):
I think you are such a good mom and just leaving the
story of, I mean you teachingthem how to make you know your
nine year old makes their ownpeanut butter sandwich or
whatever for lunch Like I'm surethe first time they made the
sandwich, it was painful towatch, like you know, or like
they don't put everythingthey're going to need in their
lunch, and you know.
But you had to just but you hadto teach them how to do it and
(18:04):
they had to fail, and maybe nothaving enough food at lunch or
not, you know whatever, but youhad to teach them to be
independent and I think thatthat's just, that's just an
example of the kind of mom youare and I think that it's
incredible.
So thank you for sharing your,your wise words of wisdom as
you're continuing to grow andlearn.
I think that was.
I think that covers everythingthat I, all the questions that I
(18:25):
had as far as back to schoolgoes.
But one thing I do like toalways ask my guests and it does
not need to be related toanything that we have talked
about but what is one thing thatyou do every day to help you
feel confident?
Nicki (18:38):
Get up and get ready.
I feel like getting up,showering, doing my hair, doing
my makeup, making my bed thatmorning routine.
When we moved here we werenewly married.
We'd only been married justover a year.
I knew nothing about ranchingand this ranch has been in my
husband's family for like ahundred years and we moved out
(19:00):
here to run it not reallyknowing what we were doing.
And I remember my mom sayingjust because you live in the
middle of nowhere doesn't meanyou should turn into a hatch
Always got ready.
My mom was a stay at home mom.
Most of my most of my childhoodwasn't until I was, you know,
in high school that she went towork, but she always got up and
(19:20):
got ready and she was like youstill need to get up and get
ready, do that for you.
And I really tapped her heartand was like you know what?
There's?
No, I shouldn't get up and getready.
And I have a friend that liveson a farm on the other side of
the town closest to us andunless she's leaving the house
she doesn't.
She's like no one's going tosee me.
Why should I care?
Which is fine that you know.
That's her life, she can dowhat she wants.
(19:41):
But for me, I feel like if I getready, I feel better, I have
more energy, I have more, youknow, just drive to get things
done in the day.
If I don't, if I stay in mypajamas and I don't get ready, I
don't want to do anything, andso I feel like that is a huge, a
huge confidence boost for me tojust feel good about myself and
(20:04):
just give me the boost to getthings done.
So that's something I do everyday.
Some days it takes me a littlelonger to get there, but I get
up and get ready every morning.
That's really good.
And make your bed is a gamechanger.
I'm telling you, I'm shockedhow many people don't get up and
make their bed every day, doyou?
Ciera (20:24):
No, I'm like hit or miss, Like.
Sometimes I do, sometimes Idon't, but the days that I do,
I'm like, oh, I feel soaccomplished.
I made my bed, Like you know,it's just something that took
literally two minutes.
Nicki (20:35):
Yeah, I do it every.
Oh, I'm like crazy about it.
I have, and my kids for a longtime did not To the point.
I mean, when they were little,I moved to the beds and then,
when they got to the point thatthey were big enough that I was
like, okay, you need your bed.
And most didn't.
And my middle daughter thatjust turned 16, just within this
last school year, suddenlystarted making her bed every day
(20:57):
.
I was like, mom, my room looksso much cleaner.
And I was like, oh, I've beentrying to tell you guys that and
I've been saying all thesethings in the videos, which
makes me so happy.
Ciera (21:09):
Yes, well, there is something about just getting
into a freshly made bed like itjust feels so much better than a
messy bed, which is weird.
Nicki (21:16):
It's the exact same blankets, but it just feels
better I totally agree, totallyagree, and it really does make
your room instantly look cleaner.
Ciera (21:26):
Yes, it does yes, a piece of advice.
I love it so much.
Well, where can the listenersconnect with you?
Nicki (21:35):
So my Instagram is reviewmama m-o-m-m-a.
I share, obviously, uniquemakeup, but all kinds of
products.
I'm a self-proclaimed productjunkie.
I love to try new things,always looking for interesting
things, new products, things foryour kitchen, things for your
home, things for your health andbeauty, all the things.
(21:56):
And so I share lots of thingsthere.
And then Rounge Life, of course, and my unique business.
And so, yeah, at reviewmamacom,that's my, that's our.
At review mama, I guess, is myInstagram handle.
Ciera (22:07):
So Well, I know you've shared a lot of good things.
I like you just shared theramen thing.
Speaking of getting your kidsto be independent that ramen
cooker I'm like that's genius,like I would use that for myself
, game changer, I know, yeah,that thing's a game changer.
Yeah, you guys definitely needto check out her Instagram
because she has all sorts ofgood gadgets that you're going
to want.
(22:27):
But thank you so much, Nicki.
This was really fun and Iappreciate all of your advice as
we get ready for back to school.
Nicki (22:35):
Thank you, good luck with your little one.
Ciera (22:37):
That first one is scary, but yeah, once she's starting
her brand new school this year,and so I'm like I feel like I'm
doing it all over again, but itwill be good so.
Nicki (22:49):
She'll do great.
Ciera (22:51):
Well, thank you, nicki.
We will talk to you, hopefullysometime again soon, because I'm
sure we would have anotherthing that I could pick your
brain.
I will Thanks I love it All ofmy listeners who are a doula, a
photographer, you have an Etsyshop, you have a clothing
boutique, you're an esthetician,you're a realtor, you have a
house cleaning business, you'rea life coach, whatever it is.
If you have a small business,listen up, because I have
(23:12):
something for you.
I have come across an amazingemail system.
It is flowdeskcom slash c,slash confident.
If you go there, you can get50% off your very first year.
That's a big deal 50% off.
That's awesome.
This is amazing, and let metell you why I love it.
I can segment all of mycustomers into different,
(23:32):
basically, groups.
Think of it that way.
I can have it so that ifsomebody joins my email list,
they are automatically sent outa drip of emails.
I changed it to it so that itwas over a week time, but you
can completely customize it toyourself.
This will automatically getthem set up on your email
campaign.
Get them the information thatyou're wanting.
Send out those freebies,whatever it is that you're
(23:53):
offering.
It automatically sends it tothem for you and you can easily
create emails that you can sendas often as you want.
I do mine once a week and it'sjust so easy.
I have the template, I have mybrand, I can make it all look
the same every week, so I havethat consistency and I
absolutely love it.
So go to flodesk, f-l-o, desk.
com/ c/ confident, and you canget 50% off your first year.
(24:19):
Thanks for listening, stayconfident.
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