Ep #169 Rewards Are Just Polite Punishments—Here’s What Works Better I Riffing On My Book (4)

🤯 What if everything you thought about rewards was BACKWARDS? 

Remember that sticker chart gathering dust on your fridge? Those M&Ms you keep in your pocket for "emergencies"? That screen time you dangle like a carrot? 

Yeah... about that. 

In this mind-blowing episode, I'm unpacking: 

✨ The Kentucky Study That Broke My Brain: 72 nine-year-olds proved rewards make kids WORSE at tasks (not better!) 

✨ The Popsicle Meltdown Story: How I turned my nephew's epic tantrum into giggles in 10 minutes (without bribes OR consequences) 

✨ Why Your Kid CAN'T Calm Down: It's neuroscience. (And telling them to "calm down" is like pouring gas on a fire) 

✨ The University Secret: Why college students took 50% LONGER when offered money (I know, WHAT?!) 

🎯 KEY TAKEAWAYS: 

• Rewards kill intrinsic motivation (Alfie Kohn was RIGHT)
• Your tantruming toddler isn't giving you a hard time—they're HAVING a hard time
• Connection works faster than correction (every. single. time.)
• Play is the most underused parenting superpower

💡 THE MOMENT THAT CHANGED EVERYTHING: Picture this: Family reunion. 20+ kids. One screaming 3-year-old nephew rejecting his FAVORITE popsicle. Every adult is stressed. And then... I tried something different.

No timeout. No bribe. Just a swing under a pine tree and some silly games.

The result? Pure magic.

👉 YOUR HOMEWORK: Next time your kid melts down, skip the consequences. Try connection instead. Get low, make eye contact, and see if they'll play.

Then come tell me what happened on Youtube @connectmethodparenting

Want more game-changing parenting truth bombs?

• 📚 Grab my book "Connect Method Parenting" https://cmp.works/cmpbook
• 🎧 Binge the podcast, we're dismantling parenting myths one episode at a time https://cmp.works/apc
• 💪 Ready to transform your parenting? Check out Pivot at https://cmp.works/thepivot

Because here's the truth: You can't spoil a child with too much of what they NEED (connection). You spoil them with too much of what they WANT (stuff).

TIMESTAMPS:

• [0:00] The reward myth that's ruining everything
• [2:15] The 1961 study that shocked researchers
• [5:30] Why "calm down" is the WORST thing to say
• [8:45] The Popsicle Meltdown (you have to hear this)
• [12:00] The swing that changed everything
• [15:30] What kids REALLY need (hint: not stickers)

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My Book: https://cmp.works/1xs

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