Ep #172 Accepting Is NOT Condoning: Finding Peace In Parenting Without Giving Up Boundaries I Riffing On My Book (6)

I’m diving deep into one of the biggest mindset shifts I’ve ever made as a parent: learning to accept my child’s behavior without condoning it. 

We’re unpacking Chapter 2 of my book—Control the Controllables—but I’m not just reading it. I’m bringing in fresh reflections, personal stories, and real-life coaching conversations to help you reclaim your peace, even when your child’s behavior feels completely out of your hands. 

You’ll hear how I used to believe controlling my kids was my job, and how focusing on what I actually could control changed everything from the tone in my home to my own sense of confidence and calm. 

If you’ve ever thought,

• “If I accept this behavior, won’t it just continue?”
• “I’ve lost control, and I don’t know how to get it back.”
• “I want to set limits and stay connected—can I do both?”

This episode will meet you right where you are.
 
Today I'm covering:

• Why controlling your child’s behavior doesn’t work, and what to do instead
• What’s actually in your control as a parent (way more than you think!)
• Why acceptance isn’t the same as condoning—and how it helps you show up at your best
• How to stay grounded, even in high-conflict moments
• The six powerful questions that shift you out of judgment and into connection

The Six Acceptance Questions
 
Use these whenever you feel triggered, powerless, or judgmental. They’ll help you shift from resistance to compassion—and from reactivity to leadership.

1. How does what they did or said make perfect sense to them?
   (Step into their world. What might they be feeling or needing?)
2. What do their words or actions tell me about them—not about me?
   (This isn’t personal. It’s a window into their internal world.)
3. How does what I did or said make perfect sense to me?
   (Offer yourself compassion, too. Your reaction came from somewhere.)
4. What would serve everyone’s highest good right now?
   (Let this question guide your next move—grounded and connected.)
5. What am I making this moment mean about me—or about them?
   (Reveal the story your brain is telling so you can question it.)
6. Do I want to accept what just happened? If not, why? If yes, why?
   (This gives you permission to pause, reflect, and choose.)

 Before the day ends, take 5 minutes and:

• Make your “Controllables List:” Write down everything in your parenting world that you do have control over (your thoughts, tone, routines, boundaries, energy, etc.)
• Use the Acceptance Questions: Pick one moment that felt hard this week and walk through the six questions above.

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