Ep #182 I Love You and There's Nothing You Can Do About It

It's 8:30 AM, a jackhammer is going FULL THROTTLE outside my window for the third hour straight, and I'm over here typing about unconditional love. 

But that obnoxious jackhammer just gave my entire family the perfect real-time lesson in how our thoughts create our reality. One daughter felt annoyed, my husband felt compassion (because he knows someone who got nerve damage from jackhammer work), and others were pretty neutral about the whole thing. 

Same situation. Totally different emotional experiences. 

This is unconditional love in action, people. 

What You'll Learn In This Episode: 

The Michelle Moment: Years ago, my friend Michelle asked the question that changed everything: "So when you say unconditional love, you mean love WITHOUT conditions, right?" (Thank you, Michelle, for getting clarity on that life-changing concept!) 

The Cinnamon Roll Effect: You know how my mom's homemade cinnamon rolls would make everyone congregate in the kitchen? That's the kind of magnetic energy we want to put out as parents - unconditional love so strong our kids can practically smell it. 

Why We Sabotage Our Own Happiness: We actually choose NOT to feel love sometimes. Wild, right? We decide our kids "don't deserve" our love when they're acting up. But plot twist - you're the only one who experiences your emotions. When you withhold love, you're literally punishing yourself. 

The Gym Analogy That'll Blow Your Mind: My daughter's friend Grace has been crushing it at the gym for a year. People literally stop her to comment on her transformation. Meanwhile, my body reflects "a mom of six who likes chocolate." Both are totally valid! But it shows we all have untapped capacity - including for unconditional love. 

The Behavioralism Trap: We've been taught that love is a reward and anger is a consequence. But real change happens from the inside out, and the only way to help your child's heart soften is to create an environment where their nervous system feels safe. 

The Truth Bomb Section: 

• Your child's behavior cannot make you stay frustrated (even though it feels like it can)
• Love is available to you 24/7, regardless of what anyone else is doing
• You can love someone deeply and still set firm boundaries
• The emotion of love benefits YOU first - it's basically the ultimate gift you give yourself

My Challenge For You:

Pick someone in your life who's challenging to love right now. Write down all the conditions you're putting on loving them. Then ask yourself: "What would it feel like to love them no matter what, all the time?"

Try it with yourself. What would unconditional love toward yourself look like?

The Random Love Experiment:

Next time you're out and about, try what I call "random love" (yes, I need a better name for this). Look at strangers and think "I love you" in your head. It sounds weird, feels amazing, and sends more love out into the world. What's not to love about that?
 
"How we treat ourselves in private is how we will treat others in public."

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