May 1, 2025 ⢠16 mins
đ Mentioned on this Episode: Show Notes đ
When it feels like you're stuck between the business you have and the impact youâre meant to create, itâs rarely about needing more strategy. It's usually about noticing the way you approach growth. In todayâs episode, I reveal the three founder archetypes sI see repeatedly in high-achieving entrepreneursâand how identifying yours can be the key to unlocking your next level with more ease.
You'll hear real stories of how seasoned founders unknowingly slowed their expansionâand how subtle shifts helped them reclaim momentum without burning out. From the hyper-implementer to the good student to the anxious avoider, I show how each style holds its own unique wisdom (and its own blind spots).
If youâre ready to move from survival-driven scaling to soul-led success, this conversation will offer a mirrorâand a map. Plus, I share one simple but game-changing practice that will help you lead your growth from a place of trust, not pressure.
Text us! What did you love about this episode?
Ever hit a revenue goal⌠but still felt anxious, stuck, or like you were barely holding it together? Youâre not alone. If youâre ready to break the cycle and finally feel good with money, I highly recommend checking out Relaxed Money: Tap this link for details. Doors are open now..
đ Get my free Embodied Success Blueprint & Meditation
đ§ Listen, Subscribe & Rate this podcast
đ˛ Follow me for more insights: Instagram | LinkedIn
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sheila (00:02):
If you're finding yourself stuck between where you
are and where you want to be,it's not because you're not
working hard enough.
It's because your naturalgrowth style, the way you
instinctively approach expansion, might be holding you in
patterns you don't even realize.
Today, I'll walk you throughthree founder archetypes.
I see again and again the quietpatterns that come with each,
(00:24):
and how awareness can help youbreak free and step into a more
aligned version of success.
Hi, welcome to the Connect withSheila Botelho podcast.
I'm committed to helping youreconnect to your purpose,
elevate your wellbeing and buildyour version of a happy,
successful life.
(00:45):
On today's solo chat, we'reexploring something that could
completely change the way youapproach your next chapter of
growth.
Over years of entrepreneurshipand through supporting many
founders, I've noticed a patternDespite all the uniqueness we
each bring into our work, theway we respond to growth often
(01:07):
falls into three very familiararchetypes, and I'll be the
first to say that I've livedinside of each of them at
different points of my ownevolution, not because I wasn't
capable, but because growthalways invites up our deepest
patterns for review.
And the three growth types I'mgoing to be talking about today
(01:29):
are the just tell me what to doimplementer.
The good student, who thriveswith feedback.
And the anxious or avoidantfounder, who needs gentle
momentum who needs gentlemomentum.
And each style has its owninternal dialogue, its own
comfort zones, and if leftunchecked, it can quietly slow
(01:57):
our expansion.
So let's start with the justtell me what to do.
Implementer.
These founders are high energyaction takers.
Give them a plan and they willexecute it with military
precision.
I remember embodying thisarchetype during the season when
I first expanded into theonline business space.
After years in wellness andpersonal development, I was
(02:18):
already comfortable withleadership, but the digital
world felt new and I didn't wantto waste time, so I approached
it with a mindset of give me theexact blueprint and I'll make
it happen.
I became hyper-focused onfinding the right system, the
perfect strategy, and for awhile that helped me move really
(02:39):
fast.
But eventually I realized I hadoutsourced my discernment.
I was so focused on doingthings the right way or
so-called right way that Ihadn't really left room to ask
if it was the right way for me,and I recently saw this mirrored
in a brilliant author that I'vebeen supporting.
She had so much to say, so muchbrilliance to share, but in
(03:04):
building her brand around herwriting.
Her inner voice was saying justtell me exactly what to do and
I'll do it.
So one of these traps that wefall into in this regard could
be outsourcing your knowing toexternal strategies, saying I'll
just follow someone else'splaybook, and when I do that,
(03:26):
that'll that'll mean I'll besafe.
The danger here is that even thebest strategy in the world
won't work if it's not built foryour season of life, your
energy or your bigger vision,when you're constantly trying to
squeeze yourself into someoneelse's plan.
When you're constantly tryingto squeeze yourself into someone
else's plan, you startdisconnecting from your own
(03:47):
intuition and eventually fromyour business altogether.
This can happen, and I've alsoseen people feeling like
failures when a plan doesn'twork perfectly right.
Is there perfection?
Come on now, they say tothemselves.
If it didn't work, somethingmust be wrong with me.
(04:08):
Instead of questioning themethod, implementers often turn
the blame inward, and this canchip away at confidence quietly.
Over time, I also see themoverloading themselves with
tasks without pausing for deeperalignment, and it becomes about
doing more instead of becomingmore.
(04:28):
So the checklist never ends,and eventually exhaustion creeps
in, not just physically, butcreatively and emotionally too.
So why, in this regard.
Does shifting matter for thesearchetypes?
Well, it's because when youslow down just enough to
(04:48):
reconnect with your instincts,your actions become so much more
potent.
So, instead of throwing energyat a million tasks, you start
moving deliberately, where everystep is a reflection of who
you're becoming, not just whatyou're accomplishing.
And when you learn to trustyour own instincts, your actions
(05:12):
become intentional, not justmechanical.
You create results thatactually feel like you.
The second archetype is the goodstudent, needing feedback and
structure.
So this good student these arefounders who are attentive,
(05:34):
thoughtful and thorough.
They seek validation not out ofweakness, but because they
genuinely care about doingexcellent work, and I can
clearly remember when this partof me was most alive, early on,
when I started speaking publiclyin teaching groups, I would
rehearse, prepare and triplecheck everything, and it's
(05:58):
really valuable to do this.
Of course, I really cravedfeedback as well, though, to do
this.
Of course I really cravedfeedback as well, though, and I
thought, if I can just collectenough positive reinforcement,
then I'll know it's safe to gobigger.
But the truth was no amount ofexternal approval could fill the
space where I needed to reallyvalidate myself, and a real
(06:21):
estate investor I coachedrecently showed this pattern on
point.
They were really smart,strategic, incredibly capable,
but she would constantlyquestion herself, caught in this
cycle of saying to herself am Iready enough?
Should I wait until everythingis perfectly mapped out?
(06:41):
And certainly, when you'reinvesting, when you're doing
these big moves, you want tomake sure that you are in
alignment with what you're doing.
You want to make sure that itmakes sense on paper as well.
But it was very interestingbecause everything was really
mapped out and at some pointjust taking that step becomes
(07:01):
the next thing to do, and thatis how we move forward.
And so some patterns here thatbecome traps are accumulating
more knowledge but nottranslating it into action,
thinking if I just learn onemore thing, I'll feel ready.
And the truth is, moreinformation doesn't
(07:22):
automatically equal moretransformation.
At some point you have to movefrom learning into embodying,
and that happens through doing,not only studying.
Another trap that happens iswaiting for readiness that never
(07:44):
truly arrives.
It's easy to believe that onemore certification, one more
class, one more coaching callwill finally deliver the perfect
green light.
But readiness isn't a feelingthat taps you on the shoulder.
It is a decision that you makebefore you feel fully prepared.
(08:06):
Another trap is missingopportunities while waiting for
permission.
Now, opportunities aren'talways wrapped in neat little
packages.
Have you noticed that?
Sometimes they just show upmessy and unexpected, and I've
found many of life's mostwonderful opportunities have
been unexpected.
(08:26):
As much as I'm open toopportunity, they come packaged
differently than I expect, andif you're stuck waiting for
someone else to validate yournext step, you will miss the
magic that was meant for you.
Now, why is it important toshift here?
I've found it's becauseleadership isn't about doing
(08:49):
everything perfectly.
It's about trusting yourcapacity to figure things out as
you go, and when you stopwaiting for someone else to tell
you you're ready, you step intothe self-trust that allows
growth to happen through you,not to you, no course.
No coach, no mentor can everreplace your own inner
(09:12):
leadership, and your next levelrequires you to trust yourself
before the world validates you.
The third archetype I'm going totalk about is the anxious or
avoidant founder, and this styleis a little subtler but just as
(09:34):
impactful.
The anxious or avoidant founderoften dreams vividly.
They see their future soclearly, but when the time comes
to step into that expansion ofwho they're meant to be, an
invisible wall goes up.
Now.
I slipped into this patternafter a season of approaching
(09:56):
burnout, and it was a time whereI knew what to do.
I had the vision, but everystep forward felt so heavy,
almost like I was carrying aninvisible backpack full of
resistance, and small decisionswould feel overwhelming and
visibility felt so vulnerable ina way that it never had before,
(10:19):
and I just didn't wanna show uponline.
One spa owner that I worked withmirrored this experience.
She would get so lit upplanning her next series of
offerings and then just asquickly disappear into fixing
small details or postponing thebig moves with thoughts like
(10:41):
maybe it's just not the righttime yet, maybe I should wait
until it's less chaotic, becauseserving existing clients and
doing all the background partsof business can really take a
lot of bandwidth.
However, even though she hadsupport in that area with her
team, she was not allowingherself to go bigger.
(11:02):
She wanted it to be perfect.
So these types of traps Okay,so we're talking about
overcomplicating small actionsas a way to avoid big visibility
, saying things like I can't dothis now because my website's
not perfect, or I'll post whenmy offer is a hundred percent
(11:25):
dialed in.
I'll post when my offer is 100%dialed in.
These are protective patterns.
They feel productive, butreally they're just
sophisticated ways of stayinghidden.
Another trap is believing thatthey need to fix themselves
before moving forward, thinkingonce I'm more confident, more
healed, more experienced, thenI'll go bigger.
(11:48):
But growth doesn't wait forperfection.
Confidence doesn't magicallyappear.
It is built in the doing.
That was a really, really hardlesson for me to learn years ago
.
Also, and it's one thatsometimes rears its head when
I'm starting something new.
We always have work to do, andI guess that's part of the
(12:11):
beautiful journey of life.
We get to keep growing andchallenging ourselves and
realizing that the there thatwe're trying to get to.
Once we get there, there'sstill another there, there's
another place to go next,another place to go next.
Another trap with this archetypeis feeling stuck in cycles of
(12:32):
momentum crash retreat.
So they'll go into that cyclemomentum crash, retreat,
momentum crash retreat.
It's exhilarating when themomentum kicks in, but without
gentle, sustainable support, itoften triggers a crash and after
(12:52):
enough crashes, it's temptingto just retreat altogether,
convincing yourself maybe you'rejust not cut out for this,
which couldn't be further fromthe truth If you really are
committed to moving forward andbuilding something beautiful and
if it's an idea that just willnot leave you alone.
So why does shifting matterhere?
Well, because when you nurturemomentum with patience and
(13:17):
compassion instead of pressure,you teach your nervous system
that expansion is safe.
And when your body feels safe,your soul can actually lead.
That is when growth becomes notjust possible but inevitable.
So I invite you to breathe intothis for a moment.
(13:42):
Where do you recognize yourselfmost right now?
Which of these archetypes?
Maybe you're sprinting towardssomeone else's blueprint?
Maybe you're perfecting yourreadiness on the sidelines.
Maybe you're inching forwardand then pulling back, without
even realizing it.
Wherever you are, you are notwrong, you're not behind, you
(14:05):
are not broken.
You're simply human, andawareness is your superpower.
Self-awareness is that bridge.
It's the bridge that takes youto self-leadership, and
self-leadership is the bridge toaligned, sustainable success.
When you begin noticing theseold survival strategies for what
(14:27):
they are, when you beginnoticing these old survival
strategies for what they aresurvival, not sabotage you can
start choosing differently.
You stop moving from fear andyou start moving from faith, and
that's exactly what theembodied success method helps
you access that I've created.
You can see it in the shownotes.
Helps you access that I'vecreated.
(14:49):
You can see it in the shownotes.
It's really about repatterningyour relationship with growth,
not through force, but throughdeep remembering.
You already have everything youneed.
It's just about making space tohear yourself again.
If you have been loving thispodcast, it would mean the world
to me if you would tap, followand leave a quick review.
(15:11):
It really helps more incredibleentrepreneurs like you find
these conversations.
And if you're ready to stepinto this next season of growth
in your life with full alignment, I invite you to download the
embodied success method andmeditation that's linked in the
show notes.
It is the starting point forthe kind of expansion that
(15:33):
doesn't cost you your peace.
Thank you so much for beinghere today.
I hope you have a beautifulrest of your week and I'll see
you on another episode.
Big blessings, you.
If you're finding yourself stuck between where you
are and where you want to be,it's not because you're not
working hard enough.
It's because your naturalgrowth style, the way you
instinctively approach expansion, might be holding you in
patterns you don't even realize.
Today, I'll walk you throughthree founder archetypes.
I see again and again the quietpatterns that come with each,
(00:24):
and how awareness can help youbreak free and step into a more
aligned version of success.
Hi, welcome to the Connect withSheila Botelho podcast.
I'm committed to helping youreconnect to your purpose,
elevate your wellbeing and buildyour version of a happy,
successful life.
(00:45):
On today's solo chat, we'reexploring something that could
completely change the way youapproach your next chapter of
growth.
Over years of entrepreneurshipand through supporting many
founders, I've noticed a patternDespite all the uniqueness we
each bring into our work, theway we respond to growth often
(01:07):
falls into three very familiararchetypes, and I'll be the
first to say that I've livedinside of each of them at
different points of my ownevolution, not because I wasn't
capable, but because growthalways invites up our deepest
patterns for review.
And the three growth types I'mgoing to be talking about today
(01:29):
are the just tell me what to doimplementer.
The good student, who thriveswith feedback.
And the anxious or avoidantfounder, who needs gentle
momentum who needs gentlemomentum.
And each style has its owninternal dialogue, its own
comfort zones, and if leftunchecked, it can quietly slow
(01:57):
our expansion.
So let's start with the justtell me what to do.
Implementer.
These founders are high energyaction takers.
Give them a plan and they willexecute it with military
precision.
I remember embodying thisarchetype during the season when
I first expanded into theonline business space.
After years in wellness andpersonal development, I was
(02:18):
already comfortable withleadership, but the digital
world felt new and I didn't wantto waste time, so I approached
it with a mindset of give me theexact blueprint and I'll make
it happen.
I became hyper-focused onfinding the right system, the
perfect strategy, and for awhile that helped me move really
(02:39):
fast.
But eventually I realized I hadoutsourced my discernment.
I was so focused on doingthings the right way or
so-called right way that Ihadn't really left room to ask
if it was the right way for me,and I recently saw this mirrored
in a brilliant author that I'vebeen supporting.
She had so much to say, so muchbrilliance to share, but in
(03:04):
building her brand around herwriting.
Her inner voice was saying justtell me exactly what to do and
I'll do it.
So one of these traps that wefall into in this regard could
be outsourcing your knowing toexternal strategies, saying I'll
just follow someone else'splaybook, and when I do that,
(03:26):
that'll that'll mean I'll besafe.
The danger here is that even thebest strategy in the world
won't work if it's not built foryour season of life, your
energy or your bigger vision,when you're constantly trying to
squeeze yourself into someoneelse's plan.
When you're constantly tryingto squeeze yourself into someone
else's plan, you startdisconnecting from your own
(03:47):
intuition and eventually fromyour business altogether.
This can happen, and I've alsoseen people feeling like
failures when a plan doesn'twork perfectly right.
Is there perfection?
Come on now, they say tothemselves.
If it didn't work, somethingmust be wrong with me.
(04:08):
Instead of questioning themethod, implementers often turn
the blame inward, and this canchip away at confidence quietly.
Over time, I also see themoverloading themselves with
tasks without pausing for deeperalignment, and it becomes about
doing more instead of becomingmore.
(04:28):
So the checklist never ends,and eventually exhaustion creeps
in, not just physically, butcreatively and emotionally too.
So why, in this regard.
Does shifting matter for thesearchetypes?
Well, it's because when youslow down just enough to
(04:48):
reconnect with your instincts,your actions become so much more
potent.
So, instead of throwing energyat a million tasks, you start
moving deliberately, where everystep is a reflection of who
you're becoming, not just whatyou're accomplishing.
And when you learn to trustyour own instincts, your actions
(05:12):
become intentional, not justmechanical.
You create results thatactually feel like you.
The second archetype is the goodstudent, needing feedback and
structure.
So this good student these arefounders who are attentive,
(05:34):
thoughtful and thorough.
They seek validation not out ofweakness, but because they
genuinely care about doingexcellent work, and I can
clearly remember when this partof me was most alive, early on,
when I started speaking publiclyin teaching groups, I would
rehearse, prepare and triplecheck everything, and it's
(05:58):
really valuable to do this.
Of course, I really cravedfeedback as well, though, to do
this.
Of course I really cravedfeedback as well, though, and I
thought, if I can just collectenough positive reinforcement,
then I'll know it's safe to gobigger.
But the truth was no amount ofexternal approval could fill the
space where I needed to reallyvalidate myself, and a real
(06:21):
estate investor I coachedrecently showed this pattern on
point.
They were really smart,strategic, incredibly capable,
but she would constantlyquestion herself, caught in this
cycle of saying to herself am Iready enough?
Should I wait until everythingis perfectly mapped out?
(06:41):
And certainly, when you'reinvesting, when you're doing
these big moves, you want tomake sure that you are in
alignment with what you're doing.
You want to make sure that itmakes sense on paper as well.
But it was very interestingbecause everything was really
mapped out and at some pointjust taking that step becomes
(07:01):
the next thing to do, and thatis how we move forward.
And so some patterns here thatbecome traps are accumulating
more knowledge but nottranslating it into action,
thinking if I just learn onemore thing, I'll feel ready.
And the truth is, moreinformation doesn't
(07:22):
automatically equal moretransformation.
At some point you have to movefrom learning into embodying,
and that happens through doing,not only studying.
Another trap that happens iswaiting for readiness that never
(07:44):
truly arrives.
It's easy to believe that onemore certification, one more
class, one more coaching callwill finally deliver the perfect
green light.
But readiness isn't a feelingthat taps you on the shoulder.
It is a decision that you makebefore you feel fully prepared.
(08:06):
Another trap is missingopportunities while waiting for
permission.
Now, opportunities aren'talways wrapped in neat little
packages.
Have you noticed that?
Sometimes they just show upmessy and unexpected, and I've
found many of life's mostwonderful opportunities have
been unexpected.
(08:26):
As much as I'm open toopportunity, they come packaged
differently than I expect, andif you're stuck waiting for
someone else to validate yournext step, you will miss the
magic that was meant for you.
Now, why is it important toshift here?
I've found it's becauseleadership isn't about doing
(08:49):
everything perfectly.
It's about trusting yourcapacity to figure things out as
you go, and when you stopwaiting for someone else to tell
you you're ready, you step intothe self-trust that allows
growth to happen through you,not to you, no course.
No coach, no mentor can everreplace your own inner
(09:12):
leadership, and your next levelrequires you to trust yourself
before the world validates you.
The third archetype I'm going totalk about is the anxious or
avoidant founder, and this styleis a little subtler but just as
(09:34):
impactful.
The anxious or avoidant founderoften dreams vividly.
They see their future soclearly, but when the time comes
to step into that expansion ofwho they're meant to be, an
invisible wall goes up.
Now.
I slipped into this patternafter a season of approaching
(09:56):
burnout, and it was a time whereI knew what to do.
I had the vision, but everystep forward felt so heavy,
almost like I was carrying aninvisible backpack full of
resistance, and small decisionswould feel overwhelming and
visibility felt so vulnerable ina way that it never had before,
(10:19):
and I just didn't wanna show uponline.
One spa owner that I worked withmirrored this experience.
She would get so lit upplanning her next series of
offerings and then just asquickly disappear into fixing
small details or postponing thebig moves with thoughts like
(10:41):
maybe it's just not the righttime yet, maybe I should wait
until it's less chaotic, becauseserving existing clients and
doing all the background partsof business can really take a
lot of bandwidth.
However, even though she hadsupport in that area with her
team, she was not allowingherself to go bigger.
(11:02):
She wanted it to be perfect.
So these types of traps Okay,so we're talking about
overcomplicating small actionsas a way to avoid big visibility
, saying things like I can't dothis now because my website's
not perfect, or I'll post whenmy offer is a hundred percent
(11:25):
dialed in.
I'll post when my offer is 100%dialed in.
These are protective patterns.
They feel productive, butreally they're just
sophisticated ways of stayinghidden.
Another trap is believing thatthey need to fix themselves
before moving forward, thinkingonce I'm more confident, more
healed, more experienced, thenI'll go bigger.
(11:48):
But growth doesn't wait forperfection.
Confidence doesn't magicallyappear.
It is built in the doing.
That was a really, really hardlesson for me to learn years ago
.
Also, and it's one thatsometimes rears its head when
I'm starting something new.
We always have work to do, andI guess that's part of the
(12:11):
beautiful journey of life.
We get to keep growing andchallenging ourselves and
realizing that the there thatwe're trying to get to.
Once we get there, there'sstill another there, there's
another place to go next,another place to go next.
Another trap with this archetypeis feeling stuck in cycles of
(12:32):
momentum crash retreat.
So they'll go into that cyclemomentum crash, retreat,
momentum crash retreat.
It's exhilarating when themomentum kicks in, but without
gentle, sustainable support, itoften triggers a crash and after
(12:52):
enough crashes, it's temptingto just retreat altogether,
convincing yourself maybe you'rejust not cut out for this,
which couldn't be further fromthe truth If you really are
committed to moving forward andbuilding something beautiful and
if it's an idea that just willnot leave you alone.
So why does shifting matterhere?
Well, because when you nurturemomentum with patience and
(13:17):
compassion instead of pressure,you teach your nervous system
that expansion is safe.
And when your body feels safe,your soul can actually lead.
That is when growth becomes notjust possible but inevitable.
So I invite you to breathe intothis for a moment.
(13:42):
Where do you recognize yourselfmost right now?
Which of these archetypes?
Maybe you're sprinting towardssomeone else's blueprint?
Maybe you're perfecting yourreadiness on the sidelines.
Maybe you're inching forwardand then pulling back, without
even realizing it.
Wherever you are, you are notwrong, you're not behind, you
(14:05):
are not broken.
You're simply human, andawareness is your superpower.
Self-awareness is that bridge.
It's the bridge that takes youto self-leadership, and
self-leadership is the bridge toaligned, sustainable success.
When you begin noticing theseold survival strategies for what
(14:27):
they are, when you beginnoticing these old survival
strategies for what they aresurvival, not sabotage you can
start choosing differently.
You stop moving from fear andyou start moving from faith, and
that's exactly what theembodied success method helps
you access that I've created.
You can see it in the shownotes.
Helps you access that I'vecreated.
(14:49):
You can see it in the shownotes.
It's really about repatterningyour relationship with growth,
not through force, but throughdeep remembering.
You already have everything youneed.
It's just about making space tohear yourself again.
If you have been loving thispodcast, it would mean the world
to me if you would tap, followand leave a quick review.
(15:11):
It really helps more incredibleentrepreneurs like you find
these conversations.
And if you're ready to stepinto this next season of growth
in your life with full alignment, I invite you to download the
embodied success method andmeditation that's linked in the
show notes.
It is the starting point forthe kind of expansion that
(15:33):
doesn't cost you your peace.
Thank you so much for beinghere today.
I hope you have a beautifulrest of your week and I'll see
you on another episode.
Big blessings, you.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.