July 1, 2023 • 38 mins
Have you ever thought about the staggering number of family caregivers worldwide and the challenges they face? Our latest episode will give you a glimpse of their world, as we are joined by Sue Ryan - a renowned speaker, change strategist, author, executive coach, caregiving coach, and mentor. With over 53 million caregivers right here in the United States, we delve into the pressing need for organizations to support their employees who are juggling caregiving and the workplace.
Sue delivers her signature offerings Intentionally Navigating Transitions - Leadership Through the Dimensions of Change™, The Prodigy Zone™, Leadership C.A.R.E.S.™ and The Caregiver’s Journey.
The Caregivers Journey Course: @ https://sueryan.solutions/course/
LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/suearmstrongryan
In the episode, we unravel the layers of self-identification as a caregiver. Sue sheds light on cultivating a supportive environment for caregivers within organizations and the business perspective of offering help to family caregivers. She points out the importance of creating resources for self-identification and education surrounding family caregiving.
As we move into our discussion on faith and caregiving, Sue shares how her faith and conversations with God have shaped her work and motivations. She underlines the importance of massive acceptance, radical presence, and the indispensability of self-care for caregivers. Gleaning from her personal and professional experience, Sue suggests that even in grieving, we can find empowering lessons and silver linings. So, join us in this enriching and insightful conversation as we explore the complex world of caregiving and the organizations that can make a difference.
Start for FREE
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
BelemLeaders–Your organization's trusted partner for leader and team development. Visit our website to connect: belemleaders.org or book a discovery call today! belem.as.me/discovery
Until next time, keep doing great things!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi there, welcome to Conversations, where we seek to
advance your leader in teamexcellence by discussing
relevant topics that impacttoday's organizations.
Welcome to the show, Welcome toConversations, where today we
have Ms Sue Ryan.
Sue's mission is to empower andembolden individuals to
maximize the opportunities andpotential change will bring.
(00:23):
As a speaker, change strategist, author, executive coach,
caregiving coach and mentor, shelives this through two passions
of her purpose she guides andinspires leaders and emerging
leaders committed to businessgrowth and next level leadership
to be great leaders ofthemselves and others.
Sue guides non-professionalcaregivers to become confident,
(00:46):
balanced and supported in allphases of their caregiving
journey.
Sue delivers these through hersignature offerings
intentionally navigatingtransitions, leadership through
the dimensions of change, theprodigies, own leadership, cares
and the caregivers journey.
And for all you strengths,enthusiasts, Sue leads with woo,
(01:07):
self-assurance achiever,positivity and maximizer.
So welcome to the show.
How are you today?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Kelly, I am great and grateful grateful to be here
and have an opportunity to sharewith your listeners things that
I'm called to share with theworld.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
And I'm really excited about this.
We connected on LinkedIn andthat's how we met.
And the more that I learned wesat and had coffee that one day
and the more I learned aboutthis journey that you're on it.
Just it sparked in me.
It's like, oh my goodness, Ineed to see if she wants to come
on conversations, because thisinformation a lot of times
(01:48):
people don't think about inleadership and organizations
when it has to do withcaregiving.
So I would love to just rollright into.
How did this passion just comeabout for you?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
It came about for me that for the past 40 years,
roles of non-professional orfamily caregiving support have
been being brought into my lifeand I've been navigating them in
parallel with the other rolesof my life, which, for more than
30 years, included myprofessional career in
(02:24):
enterprise application softwaresales, and what I recognized is
the issues that familycaregivers face when navigating
professional roles, especiallybecause, through the majority of
my career, it wasn'tappropriate for me to share that
I was also a family caregiverbecause of stigmas and other
(02:48):
kinds of things that now many ofwhich have gone away.
However, it created an extraburden, and the other side of
that is there is a tsunamicoming.
The number of caregivers isincreasing exponentially, or the
number of caregivers isincreasing exponentially and the
(03:08):
number of caregivers is beingreduced exponentially many
because those baby boomers whoused to be the family caregivers
are now becoming caregivers,and people, especially after the
pandemic, who would have goneinto professional roles as
caregiving support.
They're like I'm out of here,I'm not doing this.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So what are the statistics saying?
What are you finding in yourresearch around caregiving?
And you just tell me I knowthat there's probably a lot of
statistics out there what kindof jumped out to you or
continues for you to kind ofscratch your head out?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I'll read off these statistics and we can apply
context to them later.
But worldwide and these areconservative numbers, because
it's not like I've gone to thedoctor's office or someplace
else and they have a box thatsays are you a family caregiver?
So whatever numbers we're usingare on the lower side of what
(04:15):
actually is really the truenumber.
So these are still staggering.
Just with 18 countriesworldwide they've identified,
there are more than 25 billionfamily caregivers.
In the United States alone,family caregivers are providing
(04:38):
more than $600 billion in unpaidpayer, and there are more than
53 million family caregivers inthe United States alone.
So the amount of unpaid carethat they're providing is
significant, and there are waymore statistics on all of that.
But about 25% of the familycaregivers are caring for more
(05:01):
than one person.
There are about the 53 millionthat are over 18 years old.
However, there are nearly 4million family caregivers who
are 18 years or under, and sowe're not talking about just
having people who you would havetraditionally thought of as
(05:23):
more senior or whatever.
More than 60% and they've gotthe numbers between 60 and 70%
of family caregivers are eitherworking full or part-time, and
by 2034, this is one of thestatistics I think is staggering
, which is why I really wantpeople in business who may not
(05:44):
be thinking of this assignificant.
One statistic to me is one by2034, adults 65 and older will
outnumber children under the ageof 18.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, so you know they're, you know and the people
who are care receivers a couplestatistics on that and we'll
move them forward but more than8 million disabled children
under the age of 21.
And so when we're talking aboutcare receivers, we're not
talking about an age demographic, a diagnosis demographic.
(06:27):
We're talking about a varietyof disabilities and ages.
That the spectrum issignificant and this is a sad
one, and this is really why oneof the reasons that I find it so
important to be raising this inthe business community More
than 40% of family caregiversare leaving the workforce
(06:49):
because they can't navigate both, and they're losing over $3
trillion in wages, pensions andbenefits.
Now, if you look at thatstatistic on the other side of
it, think of yourself as abusiness and you've got these
valuable, valuable, valuableemployees.
And when we have more babyboomers, which means that
(07:12):
they're retiring, we want tokeep every valuable asset in our
organization that we can, whocan be bringing up and guiding
and leading the next wave ofleaders.
So we don't want people to haveto leave.
It's also expensive and timeconsuming to try to replace them
.
The more that we can do to helpfamily caregivers be able to
(07:35):
stay in their roles and stayvaluable, because it also helps
them, gives them sense ofpurpose and connects them and
money and all these other things, the better off it's going to
be.
So there are a whole wide rangeof statistics that help you get
an idea of how significant thisissue really is.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
And that's amazing because organizations are
identifying, like the FamilyLeave Act, so maternity leave
and different things like that,disabilities within the
workplace and whatnot.
But it seems a rarity that I'veheard anyway about caregiving
support within organizations andyou just rattled off a whole
(08:15):
bunch of information about thebenefits that an organization
can have by keeping their peoplegood, solid people who have
that knowledge and experiencethat they've come to know.
And so what are theseconversations maybe look like
for organizations who arelistening to this and kind of
the light bulbs going off forthem.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Sure, the things that are valuable to know.
So, ground level, what we'retalking about, companies have
already addressed things likethis in the past when they came
up.
So, while this is somethingthat they're facing that is
newer to them, it's not likethey're starting something
(08:59):
that's a brand new dynamicthey've never done before.
They don't have processes.
For example, they started, likeyou were saying, maternity and
Family Leave Act.
Many organizations now havechildcare centers for children.
The dynamic of familycaregiving is just another type
of a focus on a special group ofpeople who are as valuable to
(09:22):
you as anyone else and you wantto keep them.
Part of the conversation comesinto when you look
organizationally, manyorganizations will say and I've
had these conversations, they'reinteresting conversations
because, all of a sudden, whenthis door opens for them,
they're like, wow, and here'swhat happens in the conversation
(09:43):
.
They're like, well, we don'thave people coming to us saying
that they need family caregivingsupport, that they don't need
benefits packages.
They're not coming to us withthat.
Yes, I understand.
And how many of them do youhave you've recognized in the
company?
Oh, not very many.
We really we don't have verymany.
(10:05):
One of the things that happensis that family caregivers do not
self-identify in the workenvironment as a family
caregiver for several reasons.
Some of them may not belegitimate in the company
they're there for, but theydon't want to testing the waters
unless the company comes outand says we embrace you.
One reason is companies havenot identified that they embrace
(10:27):
family caregivers and familycaregivers.
One of the issues they're goingto have is they're going to
have to be taking some time off.
They may have some unplannedtime off.
They may have to have dayswhere they're only working a few
hours.
So their schedules may be,especially during their
caregiving journey.
Their schedules may be impactedsomewhat.
If they say to the leadershipteam I'm a family caregiver,
(10:52):
what their perception is in many, many conversations with family
caregivers who are also workingwell, they're not going to give
me projects to do, they're notgoing to promote me, they're not
going to give me a bonusbecause I have to take time off,
and so they don't want.
And they say when they're, ifthey have to cut back, they're
going to cut me back.
So they're concerned and afraidof allowing the organization to
(11:14):
know they're actually a familycaregiver, for fear of whether
obviously known or just assumed.
They're not being recognizedand honored and respected, and
that's one of the things.
And so when you have anorganization and they're unaware
of it and you raise this totheir level of awareness,
they're like wow, let's start byfinding out, making family
(11:38):
caregivers feel welcome to sharewith us they actually are so
that we can then create support,resources and mechanisms,
create team structures, do allkinds of things that continue to
allow us as a business tothrive, which is what you really
want the business to be able todo, while allowing teams to be
able to be successful workingwith family caregivers and yet
(12:02):
give family caregivers theability to stay valuable
resources in the organization.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
For sure.
I feel as though if anorganization creates that
environment that is inviting forsomebody to step out and say,
yes, I am, and this is what Ineed and this is how you can
help, I think that more peoplewould probably step into that.
But it kind of leads me to thequestion about how do you
(12:29):
self-identify as a caregiver?
What does that look like?
Because I'm sure that there area lot of people who are giving
care who are not saying I'm acaregiver.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yes, that's such a great question and it actually
works on both sidesself-identifying as a caregiver,
self-identifying as a carereceiver.
In the concept ofself-identifying as a caregiver
there are probably more thanthree, but I've come up with
three different categories.
One is I know I'm a familycaregiver.
(13:00):
I have stepped into it.
I understand what it is.
I am providing support forsomeone and I'm not a
professional.
This is not my job.
I haven't been hired to do this.
I may be getting paid money forit.
For example, if there areseveral siblings and somebody
lives close to mom and dad andone of them is caring for them,
(13:21):
other family members may bepaying them.
So it doesn't mean that thefamily caregiver is unpaid.
That's something.
That's a term some people use,but they're not a professional.
This is not their job.
They've stepped into this tohelp out, either because there's
nobody else to do it, theycan't afford any other resource,
or they choose to do it.
So there are reasons why theywould.
So one is very easily I am afamily caregiver.
(13:43):
Another one is I get the senseI'm going to be a family
caregiver and boy, I just wantto push that down the road as
long as I can.
I really don't want to have tostep into that yet.
I want to try to find everyother option available before I
have to step into that.
So they're resisting beingidentified as a family caregiver
(14:04):
and will be very specific aboutoh no, I'm not caregiving.
So they're resisting that.
And the third one is they'reafraid to allow people to know
that they are a caregiver.
They know they are, butespecially, like at work, they
don't want people to know.
Or they also don't want socialcircles to know, because they
(14:26):
feel, either culturally,familially or socially, that
they might be judged or thatpeople will treat them
differently and they don't wantthat.
So there are some.
All of these are fear-basedreasons.
They don't self-identify.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
How do we help somebody step into that role?
Because that is, it can be veryscary.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
It can be very scary, Based on the conversation we're
having today.
What I'll do is I'll talk aboutit from the business
perspective of it.
The program that I createdcalled Leadership Cares, and
Cares is an acronym forCaregiving, Awareness, Resources
, Empowerment and Solutions.
A business would first, from aleadership perspective, come out
(15:16):
proactively and say we supportfamily caregivers, we support
people who are providing carefor a family member or loved one
, and they define what thatsounds like and looks like.
And we support you.
We want you to feel comfortablehaving conversations with us so
(15:37):
that we can create programsthat support you being able to
stay working with us and we cancontinue to be supporting our
customers and providing thelevel of service and product
that we're committed to.
So it's from a leadershipperspective, giving people
permission to step into that.
(15:58):
One of the things that I've doneis I've created a resource that
asks a number of questions forhelping people self-identify if
they are a caregiver.
Some of those might be our well, and let me take that back.
One statement we may not know.
We've become a caregiverbecause we started out just, you
(16:21):
know, helping out our neighbor,picking up the newspaper for
them and then taking out thetrash for them.
And then we're like well, we'regoing to go to the grocery
store, Can I pick anything upfor you?
And then they call us and sayI've got to run to the doctor,
Could you take me to the doctor?
Gradually, over time, we've beenadding additional
responsibility afterresponsibility.
There wasn't a thing that says,if you're doing this, you've
(16:45):
all of a sudden crossed the lineto being a family caregiver and
so, under the construct of that, it's asking yourself questions
to raise to your level ofawareness.
How many things am I actuallydoing?
Am I checking on themedications of someone?
Am I taking them toappointments?
Am I driving for them so theydon't have to?
Am I calling them on a regularbasis because I'm concerned
(17:08):
about their health or safety?
Am I investing more of my timefocusing on what their needs are
?
Are we doing outsourcing morethings?
So I have a variety ofdifferent things that help
people raise to their level ofawareness that, oh, maybe I am a
family caregiver.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
And where can somebody get that?
Is that available?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It is available.
It's available.
I've created an online coursecalled the Caregivers' Journey,
where I walk people through thejourney, and that is one of the
attached worksheets for that.
However, what I'll do is I willgive you the document and you
can put it on your site if you'dlike to, and then for your
(17:53):
listeners, they can go ahead andget that, and that just helps
to check, to self-identify ifmaybe they are a family
caregiver, and that's actuallywhere the term that's where
sometimes people will separatethe term non-professional from a
family caregiver.
They're basically very similar,but I have been a
(18:15):
non-professional caregiver.
I've been a caregiver forpeople who I'm not related to,
but not in a professionalcapacity.
So some people get hung up onthe term family because they
think it's only members of yourfamily.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
So we've talked about the organization.
If we were talking, let's go toa team dynamic, let's go down
even further from theorganization and you have a team
member one maybe even more thanone on a team who has said you
know, I have self identified asa caregiver, I may have some
(18:54):
additional needs.
How could maybe a team rallyaround that person?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
That is a great question.
Several of the things that canbe done from a team dynamic is
when team members arecomfortable self identifying as
a caregiver, the entire teamunderstands what they are.
Then the team members who don'tknow anything about family
caregiving there's informationthat can help them understand
(19:20):
what some of the impacts can beand the person who is the family
caregiver can talk a little bit, to wherever they're
comfortable with, about theircaregiving journey.
Then what the team does is laysout here the things that we're
working on and identifies wherethe family caregiver is involved
with them and theresponsibilities they have.
I've seen a variety ofdifferent things be done that,
(19:42):
depending on the season thefamily caregiver is in with
their care receiver, they mightshift some of the
responsibilities they'reperforming with the team to
someone else, or they may have abackup so that if, for any
reason, they are not able to bethere for an important meeting,
someone else has access to theirinformation.
(20:03):
Someone else understands thatthey would be tasked with taking
notes or things like that.
So they create a process thatunderstands the fact that
periodically this person may notbe available and when
everybody's a part of it,because everybody wants to help.
People want to help.
When they're able to cometogether creatively and say what
are we going to do, it helpseverybody.
(20:25):
Now one of the really excitingparts of this that I've seen in
businesses when they have donethis is that other people have
recognized when they havesomething going on in their
family they're using the sameteam dynamic, not just because
of caregiving but, for example,one of the ones is that somebody
(20:47):
was having their knee replacedand they said let's use this
exercise because I'm going to behaving my knee replaced.
So proactively they say theygot whiteboards and they put
things out and they just shiftedthings for people to have.
So it can expand to a varietyof different areas.
But it allows the team dynamicto be creative and to be
(21:08):
supportive and have backup plansso that the team can be
productive and everybody feelsgood.
They're not feeling resentfulbecause somebody keeps calling
out and they don't know why.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
And that's a great way to display empathy.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Grace, empathy and compassion are so huge.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yes, Wow, what else?
What else haven't we talkedabout?
That's important to get outhere today.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
One of the things that we had talked about is some
of the things that might behelpful for people if they
currently are in a role ofcaregiving.
Support and while that's a verybroad topic, because you could
be caregiving for any kind ofdiagnosis at any kind of age all
of these different things Twothings that have been impactful
(22:04):
for my life that began in myrole as a caregiver and have now
expanded to all parts of mylife, and people who I've worked
with have embraced it in allareas of their life is massive
acceptance and radical presence.
It came to me when I wasevaluating a caregiving
(22:25):
experience with my dad, when Ifelt like I had really let him
down caring for him, and it wasbecause, while I had been
caregiving for many other peopleand I knew he had a diagnosis
and I had accepted that, I wasstill trying to get him to do
something based on the way I hadlived my life and things he had
(22:46):
taught me my whole life, andwhile I was present to what he
was struggling with, I wasn'tfully present because I was
trying to get him to dosomething that he had taught me
about being safe and I didn'trealize he didn't have access to
that anymore, because I'mtrying to do what my dad taught
me all my life.
And so what I recognized isthat there's a difference
between accepting something andbeing present to massively
(23:09):
accepting, which is we acceptexactly what is.
We accept it 100%.
We don't have to like it, wedon't have to agree with it and
in the moment we don't even haveto understand it.
That may come days, weeks,months, years later.
We just have to accept it.
And, most importantly, we haveto accept it without judgment,
(23:33):
not judgment of ourselves orothers, of the situation.
So we massively accept this.
And when we do, from a presenceperspective, we practice radical
presence, which is saying,fully focused in the moment,
which is all we really have.
We're not doing what I wasdoing.
I was wanting it to be the wayit had been before, remembering
(23:56):
the way my dad had taught me,the way he'd been doing things
all his life.
And then I was also projecting,fortune telling, projecting in
the future, based on what couldpotentially happen, as opposed
to really looking at what thepotential impossibilities in the
moment were.
And when we practice massiveacceptance and radical presence,
we are able to see thepotential impossibilities in the
(24:17):
moment, which means we're ableto make the wisest decisions
because we're not judging it,we're not clouding it with
anything.
It's like what is here and now,what do we make the decision?
The gift in that is that we'reable to make a more challenging
decision and feel confident withit so we can move forward and
(24:39):
take the next steps and we canget support if that's the right
thing to do.
But the other part of it isthat we can see beauty and even
the tiniest little thing,because we're right there, fully
present, and we're justobserving it for exactly what it
is.
So I would say that one of thegreatest things caregiver, in
any area of their caregiving,experience and journey, is
(25:02):
massive acceptance and radicalpresence.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Wow, and you know that can go through and, like
you said, it could be in everyarea of your life that you can
be utilizing those, because it'sreally important if we're going
to be present in the moment andreally embrace what's in front
of us.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
When you practice it in other areas of your life, it
just keeps getting better andbetter and better.
Yeah, like it's easier, likeit's easier, and it's not devoid
of challenges, it's just devoidof how, because I also feel
like everything in our lives ishappening for us.
There's a lesson for us ineverything, whether it's a
challenging moment or a positivemoment.
(25:49):
It allows us to be able to seethat, so we can grow from those
things.
So it is great in all areas ofour lives.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
We talked about something briefly when we met
for coffee that day and it wasabout self care, and I'd love
for you to maybe just touch onself care for caregivers.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
So thank you for asking that Such a great
question.
Self care and I say self careisn't selfish, it's self love.
Self care can be verychallenging because we want to
provide the best level of carepossible for our care receiver
and it's easy for us to justshave off a little here or a
(26:32):
little there.
I don't need much sleep, I canstay up an extra hour after
they've gone to bed and do thefinances, or I can get up an
extra hour early and do thelaundry, and so we, instead of
going to the gym, will do thelaundry or do something else
because we want to make surewe're fully present for our care
receiver.
So we begin to shave off.
(26:52):
Or we haven't defined what selfcare looks like for us.
We haven't said to ourselvesself care is so important, and
so self care is the combinationof what does it look like for
you?
What does it look like if youdon't practice it?
(27:12):
Because many of us have steppedinto overwhelm and we've seen,
when we're not practicingself-care, what happens.
And so what does it look likefor you?
And then, how do you apply it?
Let's say you've only got aminute or two.
What would be something youcould do in a minute, what would
you do if you had five minutes,if you had an hour, if you had
(27:32):
two hours?
And then you look intentionally.
So self-care is somethingthat's intentional in our lives.
How do you intentionallyincorporate it into your life so
that you remember you need totake care of you and you honor
that?
And as your caregiving journeygoes through different seasons,
(27:56):
you have different ways of beingable to practice it.
You also recognize that if youget to a place in your life
where you don't have capacity oryou feel like you have to shave
off self-care, that's a placewhere you go.
I need support.
It's time for me to reach outto somebody else because I'm not
giving up self-care, because ifyou're not there for your care
(28:18):
receiver, that's a biggerproblem.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, and that kind of has my mind circling back to
the organizational element andhow, if you are being supported
at an organization, how can thatorganization make sure that
self-care is part of the process?
That sounds like it's somethingthat would be important,
because we want our peopleshowing up well to work.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
You want them showing up well and then you want them
to have, and I have noticedorganizations have done things
They'll have.
Some of them have like a Zengarden where some of them will
have a space where people can goand just be quiet.
Some organizations, while theydon't necessarily call it
self-care, they support theconcept of that or they've
created programs where somebodycould go out and take a course
(29:08):
or they could do something.
But I like what you're sayingis to make it in an intentional
part of what people are doing,and truly self-care doesn't have
to be something that you haveto do an hour in the morning and
then 15 minutes in theafternoon or whatever.
It can be a variety ofdifferent things.
It's you figuring out what itis for you and being intentional
(29:31):
about doing it.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
You know, I know you are a woman of faith, so I would
love to hear a little bit abouthow all of this combined the
work that you do kind of youknow attaches to your faith,
what that means to you.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
From a faith perspective.
I have conversations with Godall the time and my
conversations are if there'ssomething I can be doing to
provide a better level ofsupport for my loved one, until
you're ready for them, pleaselet me know.
I'm doing what I feel that Ican do and it's very important
(30:12):
to me, and yet please keepguiding me if I could be doing
something better for their care.
And I also recognize I can onlycontrol me and, from a
faith-based perspective, I thankGod.
All the time I say I don't knowwhy.
This is our journey.
I accept this is our journey.
(30:33):
Maybe someday I will understand.
I don't need to understand.
I accept it and whateverlessons you have for me I don't
want to miss.
So please allow me to learn thelessons and if I'm not paying
attention, thump me.
And also, for my care receiver,help me make sure that if
(30:56):
there's something you want forthem, if there's a lesson they
still need to learn beforeyou're ready for them, that I
put them in the best positionfor that lesson to be a part of
their journey.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
That is beautiful.
Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Thank you.
I really feel like God broughtme here for a reason.
He brought it all of us for areason.
He's got reasons for the thingshe does that we don't
necessarily understand.
This is our journey.
I don't fight it.
I'm not angry with God aboutanything.
I'm not angry with anybodyabout anything.
I embrace it as what is therehere for us to learn.
Would I have chosen it?
(31:31):
I wouldn't have chosen it ifyou had given me a list.
However, there are all kinds ofthings we wouldn't choose in
our lives if we had a list tochoose them.
And yet, when we reflect back,we've developed resilience,
we're stronger, we've learnedthings from it.
It's the same thing with grief.
We wouldn't have the emotion ofgrief if it didn't have a
(31:51):
purpose in our lives, and so,while most people wish they
didn't have to navigate grief,there's a reason for it.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
There sure is, Wow, A lot of good information here.
Ms Sue Ryan, how can people getahold of you Because I'm sure
there's gonna be listeners whoyou really pique their interest,
whether it's at anorganizational level, leadership
level or individual level whomaybe just heard something today
(32:21):
and is like I need to justreach out to Sue.
How can they get moreinformation?
And I will put what you sent meinto the show notes there, but
how can people get ahold of you?
Maybe find out a little bitmore about what you do.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Thank you.
My email address is Sue atsu-ryansolutions.
My website is su-ryansolutionsand people can reach out through
that.
I'm on.
I'll look on LinkedIn.
I don't remember if I'm SusanRyan.
My given name is Susan.
(32:56):
I don't remember if I'm SusanRyan or Sue Ryan on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
All right, and look for the red hair.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah, you can tell from my profile picture.
If you've found there, Let mepull it up real quick.
I'll tell you who I am onLinkedIn and those are, and I
really want people to know theynever have to be alone on their
journey.
So, yeah, on LinkedIn I'm SueRyan or Sue Armstrong Ryan.
Yeah, so I'm Sue Ryan, At anyrate, wherever they are.
(33:28):
I hope that this gives them theopportunity to consider, if
they're on a journey or if theyare leading others who are on
the journey, ways for them to beable to provide an extra level
of support.
And one other point diagnosesdon't discriminate.
(33:50):
You can be the CEO of anorganization and your spouse or
your parents they have somethingand they need a caregiver and
you instantly become a caregiver.
It doesn't matter where you arein an organization.
You can become a familycaregiver.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
One last question that I have about it early on
about when organizations assesswhat is a good way for them to
be assessing.
What does that look like, andis there implications with HR
and legal issues?
How does that work?
Do you happen to have an answerto that?
(34:29):
They are very important.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
They have it all reviewed and I'm not an attorney
and I'm not an HR specialist.
I've had conversations.
Different organizations havenavigated this differently.
The recommendation I will sayis, whatever you do, run it
through legal and through HR,because there are implications.
However, from a leadershipperspective, when the
(34:56):
organizational leadershipcommunicates to the organization
, we understand and we want tolearn more about the family
caregivers in our organizationso that we can provide support
resources for them and for ourteam, so that we can all work
(35:17):
together, because it's not justthe family caregiver, it's the
other people who are impacted.
When the organization makes itknown that caregivers have
permission to then self-identify, then whatever way the
organization chooses to do thatIn the beginning, one of the
(35:37):
things some of them have done isa completely anonymous survey.
They've said we don't want toknow who you are.
All we want to know is how manyfamily caregivers we have, how
many non-professional caregiverswe have, so that we can be
considering how to support you.
(35:57):
It's having the caregivers havepermission to self-identify,
knowing that it's okay that theycan do that.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Then start taking questions.
Reach out to Sue Ryan.
She will help you navigate theprocess for this because it is
important.
Like I said earlier, it'sprobably something that
organizations are not reallythinking about unless it has
somehow.
Their top leadership has been acaregiver or had to look into
(36:36):
caregiving A lot of times.
Things at the top they willtrickle down if there's been
experience up here where theyneed to know and need to expand
that.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
It's been challenging as I go into organizations.
It's challenging because thereare so many things going on in
organizations right now.
It would be great to be able topush it farther down the road.
The challenge is this is notsomething that's linear, being
pushed down the road.
It's increasing exponentially,and so the longer that an
(37:09):
organization goes withoutaddressing it, the exponential
increase in the impact it'sgoing to have.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Well, thank you, sue, for coming on conversations and
really unpacking the good workthat you're doing, the insight
that you have and just yourstrength and your courage and
your collaboration withorganizations and leaders and
individuals who are meeting withyou and having those good
(37:38):
conversations about what theirnext steps are.
So thank you so much.
I appreciate you and the workthat you're doing.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
I appreciate you and the work you're doing and
helping leaders and everythingthat you're bringing with the
messages that you are, and I'mreally grateful for the
opportunity to raise this topeople's level of awareness so
that they can consider it asthey move forward.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
You're welcome.
I keep saying it is importantwork and it's different.
And I love the conversationbecause it's different than just
the regular things you thinkabout within leadership and
teams and organizations.
It's just different, but it's aneed to.
(38:22):
We need to be having theseconversations, we need to be
figuring out how to honor ourpeople and doing it with what
their needs are, because, likeyou said, it could look
different depending on theperson.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
I appreciate you.
I do Thank you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you,
(40:14):
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank
(43:11):
you, thank you, thank you, thankyou, you, you, you, you, you,
(51:36):
music, music, music, music,music, music, music, music,
(53:20):
music, music, music, music.
Hi there, welcome to Conversations, where we seek to
advance your leader in teamexcellence by discussing
relevant topics that impacttoday's organizations.
Welcome to the show, Welcome toConversations, where today we
have Ms Sue Ryan.
Sue's mission is to empower andembolden individuals to
maximize the opportunities andpotential change will bring.
(00:23):
As a speaker, change strategist, author, executive coach,
caregiving coach and mentor, shelives this through two passions
of her purpose she guides andinspires leaders and emerging
leaders committed to businessgrowth and next level leadership
to be great leaders ofthemselves and others.
Sue guides non-professionalcaregivers to become confident,
(00:46):
balanced and supported in allphases of their caregiving
journey.
Sue delivers these through hersignature offerings
intentionally navigatingtransitions, leadership through
the dimensions of change, theprodigies, own leadership, cares
and the caregivers journey.
And for all you strengths,enthusiasts, Sue leads with woo,
(01:07):
self-assurance achiever,positivity and maximizer.
So welcome to the show.
How are you today?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Kelly, I am great and grateful grateful to be here
and have an opportunity to sharewith your listeners things that
I'm called to share with theworld.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
And I'm really excited about this.
We connected on LinkedIn andthat's how we met.
And the more that I learned wesat and had coffee that one day
and the more I learned aboutthis journey that you're on it.
Just it sparked in me.
It's like, oh my goodness, Ineed to see if she wants to come
on conversations, because thisinformation a lot of times
(01:48):
people don't think about inleadership and organizations
when it has to do withcaregiving.
So I would love to just rollright into.
How did this passion just comeabout for you?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
It came about for me that for the past 40 years,
roles of non-professional orfamily caregiving support have
been being brought into my lifeand I've been navigating them in
parallel with the other rolesof my life, which, for more than
30 years, included myprofessional career in
(02:24):
enterprise application softwaresales, and what I recognized is
the issues that familycaregivers face when navigating
professional roles, especiallybecause, through the majority of
my career, it wasn'tappropriate for me to share that
I was also a family caregiverbecause of stigmas and other
(02:48):
kinds of things that now many ofwhich have gone away.
However, it created an extraburden, and the other side of
that is there is a tsunamicoming.
The number of caregivers isincreasing exponentially, or the
number of caregivers isincreasing exponentially and the
(03:08):
number of caregivers is beingreduced exponentially many
because those baby boomers whoused to be the family caregivers
are now becoming caregivers,and people, especially after the
pandemic, who would have goneinto professional roles as
caregiving support.
They're like I'm out of here,I'm not doing this.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
So what are the statistics saying?
What are you finding in yourresearch around caregiving?
And you just tell me I knowthat there's probably a lot of
statistics out there what kindof jumped out to you or
continues for you to kind ofscratch your head out?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
I'll read off these statistics and we can apply
context to them later.
But worldwide and these areconservative numbers, because
it's not like I've gone to thedoctor's office or someplace
else and they have a box thatsays are you a family caregiver?
So whatever numbers we're usingare on the lower side of what
(04:15):
actually is really the truenumber.
So these are still staggering.
Just with 18 countriesworldwide they've identified,
there are more than 25 billionfamily caregivers.
In the United States alone,family caregivers are providing
(04:38):
more than $600 billion in unpaidpayer, and there are more than
53 million family caregivers inthe United States alone.
So the amount of unpaid carethat they're providing is
significant, and there are waymore statistics on all of that.
But about 25% of the familycaregivers are caring for more
(05:01):
than one person.
There are about the 53 millionthat are over 18 years old.
However, there are nearly 4million family caregivers who
are 18 years or under, and sowe're not talking about just
having people who you would havetraditionally thought of as
(05:23):
more senior or whatever.
More than 60% and they've gotthe numbers between 60 and 70%
of family caregivers are eitherworking full or part-time, and
by 2034, this is one of thestatistics I think is staggering
, which is why I really wantpeople in business who may not
(05:44):
be thinking of this assignificant.
One statistic to me is one by2034, adults 65 and older will
outnumber children under the ageof 18.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, so you know they're, you know and the people
who are care receivers a couplestatistics on that and we'll
move them forward but more than8 million disabled children
under the age of 21.
And so when we're talking aboutcare receivers, we're not
talking about an age demographic, a diagnosis demographic.
(06:27):
We're talking about a varietyof disabilities and ages.
That the spectrum issignificant and this is a sad
one, and this is really why oneof the reasons that I find it so
important to be raising this inthe business community More
than 40% of family caregiversare leaving the workforce
(06:49):
because they can't navigate both, and they're losing over $3
trillion in wages, pensions andbenefits.
Now, if you look at thatstatistic on the other side of
it, think of yourself as abusiness and you've got these
valuable, valuable, valuableemployees.
And when we have more babyboomers, which means that
(07:12):
they're retiring, we want tokeep every valuable asset in our
organization that we can, whocan be bringing up and guiding
and leading the next wave ofleaders.
So we don't want people to haveto leave.
It's also expensive and timeconsuming to try to replace them
.
The more that we can do to helpfamily caregivers be able to
(07:35):
stay in their roles and stayvaluable, because it also helps
them, gives them sense ofpurpose and connects them and
money and all these other things, the better off it's going to
be.
So there are a whole wide rangeof statistics that help you get
an idea of how significant thisissue really is.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
And that's amazing because organizations are
identifying, like the FamilyLeave Act, so maternity leave
and different things like that,disabilities within the
workplace and whatnot.
But it seems a rarity that I'veheard anyway about caregiving
support within organizations andyou just rattled off a whole
(08:15):
bunch of information about thebenefits that an organization
can have by keeping their peoplegood, solid people who have
that knowledge and experiencethat they've come to know.
And so what are theseconversations maybe look like
for organizations who arelistening to this and kind of
the light bulbs going off forthem.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Sure, the things that are valuable to know.
So, ground level, what we'retalking about, companies have
already addressed things likethis in the past when they came
up.
So, while this is somethingthat they're facing that is
newer to them, it's not likethey're starting something
(08:59):
that's a brand new dynamicthey've never done before.
They don't have processes.
For example, they started, likeyou were saying, maternity and
Family Leave Act.
Many organizations now havechildcare centers for children.
The dynamic of familycaregiving is just another type
of a focus on a special group ofpeople who are as valuable to
(09:22):
you as anyone else and you wantto keep them.
Part of the conversation comesinto when you look
organizationally, manyorganizations will say and I've
had these conversations, they'reinteresting conversations
because, all of a sudden, whenthis door opens for them,
they're like, wow, and here'swhat happens in the conversation
(09:43):
.
They're like, well, we don'thave people coming to us saying
that they need family caregivingsupport, that they don't need
benefits packages.
They're not coming to us withthat.
Yes, I understand.
And how many of them do youhave you've recognized in the
company?
Oh, not very many.
We really we don't have verymany.
(10:05):
One of the things that happensis that family caregivers do not
self-identify in the workenvironment as a family
caregiver for several reasons.
Some of them may not belegitimate in the company
they're there for, but theydon't want to testing the waters
unless the company comes outand says we embrace you.
One reason is companies havenot identified that they embrace
(10:27):
family caregivers and familycaregivers.
One of the issues they're goingto have is they're going to
have to be taking some time off.
They may have some unplannedtime off.
They may have to have dayswhere they're only working a few
hours.
So their schedules may be,especially during their
caregiving journey.
Their schedules may be impactedsomewhat.
If they say to the leadershipteam I'm a family caregiver,
(10:52):
what their perception is in many, many conversations with family
caregivers who are also workingwell, they're not going to give
me projects to do, they're notgoing to promote me, they're not
going to give me a bonusbecause I have to take time off,
and so they don't want.
And they say when they're, ifthey have to cut back, they're
going to cut me back.
So they're concerned and afraidof allowing the organization to
(11:14):
know they're actually a familycaregiver, for fear of whether
obviously known or just assumed.
They're not being recognizedand honored and respected, and
that's one of the things.
And so when you have anorganization and they're unaware
of it and you raise this totheir level of awareness,
they're like wow, let's start byfinding out, making family
(11:38):
caregivers feel welcome to sharewith us they actually are so
that we can then create support,resources and mechanisms,
create team structures, do allkinds of things that continue to
allow us as a business tothrive, which is what you really
want the business to be able todo, while allowing teams to be
able to be successful workingwith family caregivers and yet
(12:02):
give family caregivers theability to stay valuable
resources in the organization.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
For sure.
I feel as though if anorganization creates that
environment that is inviting forsomebody to step out and say,
yes, I am, and this is what Ineed and this is how you can
help, I think that more peoplewould probably step into that.
But it kind of leads me to thequestion about how do you
(12:29):
self-identify as a caregiver?
What does that look like?
Because I'm sure that there area lot of people who are giving
care who are not saying I'm acaregiver.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
Yes, that's such a great question and it actually
works on both sidesself-identifying as a caregiver,
self-identifying as a carereceiver.
In the concept ofself-identifying as a caregiver
there are probably more thanthree, but I've come up with
three different categories.
One is I know I'm a familycaregiver.
(13:00):
I have stepped into it.
I understand what it is.
I am providing support forsomeone and I'm not a
professional.
This is not my job.
I haven't been hired to do this.
I may be getting paid money forit.
For example, if there areseveral siblings and somebody
lives close to mom and dad andone of them is caring for them,
(13:21):
other family members may bepaying them.
So it doesn't mean that thefamily caregiver is unpaid.
That's something.
That's a term some people use,but they're not a professional.
This is not their job.
They've stepped into this tohelp out, either because there's
nobody else to do it, theycan't afford any other resource,
or they choose to do it.
So there are reasons why theywould.
So one is very easily I am afamily caregiver.
(13:43):
Another one is I get the senseI'm going to be a family
caregiver and boy, I just wantto push that down the road as
long as I can.
I really don't want to have tostep into that yet.
I want to try to find everyother option available before I
have to step into that.
So they're resisting beingidentified as a family caregiver
(14:04):
and will be very specific aboutoh no, I'm not caregiving.
So they're resisting that.
And the third one is they'reafraid to allow people to know
that they are a caregiver.
They know they are, butespecially, like at work, they
don't want people to know.
Or they also don't want socialcircles to know, because they
(14:26):
feel, either culturally,familially or socially, that
they might be judged or thatpeople will treat them
differently and they don't wantthat.
So there are some.
All of these are fear-basedreasons.
They don't self-identify.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
How do we help somebody step into that role?
Because that is, it can be veryscary.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
It can be very scary, Based on the conversation we're
having today.
What I'll do is I'll talk aboutit from the business
perspective of it.
The program that I createdcalled Leadership Cares, and
Cares is an acronym forCaregiving, Awareness, Resources
, Empowerment and Solutions.
A business would first, from aleadership perspective, come out
(15:16):
proactively and say we supportfamily caregivers, we support
people who are providing carefor a family member or loved one
, and they define what thatsounds like and looks like.
And we support you.
We want you to feel comfortablehaving conversations with us so
(15:37):
that we can create programsthat support you being able to
stay working with us and we cancontinue to be supporting our
customers and providing thelevel of service and product
that we're committed to.
So it's from a leadershipperspective, giving people
permission to step into that.
(15:58):
One of the things that I've doneis I've created a resource that
asks a number of questions forhelping people self-identify if
they are a caregiver.
Some of those might be our well, and let me take that back.
One statement we may not know.
We've become a caregiverbecause we started out just, you
(16:21):
know, helping out our neighbor,picking up the newspaper for
them and then taking out thetrash for them.
And then we're like well, we'regoing to go to the grocery
store, Can I pick anything upfor you?
And then they call us and sayI've got to run to the doctor,
Could you take me to the doctor?
Gradually, over time, we've beenadding additional
responsibility afterresponsibility.
There wasn't a thing that says,if you're doing this, you've
(16:45):
all of a sudden crossed the lineto being a family caregiver and
so, under the construct of that, it's asking yourself questions
to raise to your level ofawareness.
How many things am I actuallydoing?
Am I checking on themedications of someone?
Am I taking them toappointments?
Am I driving for them so theydon't have to?
Am I calling them on a regularbasis because I'm concerned
(17:08):
about their health or safety?
Am I investing more of my timefocusing on what their needs are
?
Are we doing outsourcing morethings?
So I have a variety ofdifferent things that help
people raise to their level ofawareness that, oh, maybe I am a
family caregiver.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
And where can somebody get that?
Is that available?
Speaker 2 (17:31):
It is available.
It's available.
I've created an online coursecalled the Caregivers' Journey,
where I walk people through thejourney, and that is one of the
attached worksheets for that.
However, what I'll do is I willgive you the document and you
can put it on your site if you'dlike to, and then for your
(17:53):
listeners, they can go ahead andget that, and that just helps
to check, to self-identify ifmaybe they are a family
caregiver, and that's actuallywhere the term that's where
sometimes people will separatethe term non-professional from a
family caregiver.
They're basically very similar,but I have been a
(18:15):
non-professional caregiver.
I've been a caregiver forpeople who I'm not related to,
but not in a professionalcapacity.
So some people get hung up onthe term family because they
think it's only members of yourfamily.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
So we've talked about the organization.
If we were talking, let's go toa team dynamic, let's go down
even further from theorganization and you have a team
member one maybe even more thanone on a team who has said you
know, I have self identified asa caregiver, I may have some
(18:54):
additional needs.
How could maybe a team rallyaround that person?
Speaker 2 (19:00):
That is a great question.
Several of the things that canbe done from a team dynamic is
when team members arecomfortable self identifying as
a caregiver, the entire teamunderstands what they are.
Then the team members who don'tknow anything about family
caregiving there's informationthat can help them understand
(19:20):
what some of the impacts can beand the person who is the family
caregiver can talk a little bit, to wherever they're
comfortable with, about theircaregiving journey.
Then what the team does is laysout here the things that we're
working on and identifies wherethe family caregiver is involved
with them and theresponsibilities they have.
I've seen a variety ofdifferent things be done that,
(19:42):
depending on the season thefamily caregiver is in with
their care receiver, they mightshift some of the
responsibilities they'reperforming with the team to
someone else, or they may have abackup so that if, for any
reason, they are not able to bethere for an important meeting,
someone else has access to theirinformation.
(20:03):
Someone else understands thatthey would be tasked with taking
notes or things like that.
So they create a process thatunderstands the fact that
periodically this person may notbe available and when
everybody's a part of it,because everybody wants to help.
People want to help.
When they're able to cometogether creatively and say what
are we going to do, it helpseverybody.
(20:25):
Now one of the really excitingparts of this that I've seen in
businesses when they have donethis is that other people have
recognized when they havesomething going on in their
family they're using the sameteam dynamic, not just because
of caregiving but, for example,one of the ones is that somebody
(20:47):
was having their knee replacedand they said let's use this
exercise because I'm going to behaving my knee replaced.
So proactively they say theygot whiteboards and they put
things out and they just shiftedthings for people to have.
So it can expand to a varietyof different areas.
But it allows the team dynamicto be creative and to be
(21:08):
supportive and have backup plansso that the team can be
productive and everybody feelsgood.
They're not feeling resentfulbecause somebody keeps calling
out and they don't know why.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
And that's a great way to display empathy.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
Grace, empathy and compassion are so huge.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Yes, Wow, what else?
What else haven't we talkedabout?
That's important to get outhere today.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
One of the things that we had talked about is some
of the things that might behelpful for people if they
currently are in a role ofcaregiving.
Support and while that's a verybroad topic, because you could
be caregiving for any kind ofdiagnosis at any kind of age all
of these different things Twothings that have been impactful
(22:04):
for my life that began in myrole as a caregiver and have now
expanded to all parts of mylife, and people who I've worked
with have embraced it in allareas of their life is massive
acceptance and radical presence.
It came to me when I wasevaluating a caregiving
(22:25):
experience with my dad, when Ifelt like I had really let him
down caring for him, and it wasbecause, while I had been
caregiving for many other peopleand I knew he had a diagnosis
and I had accepted that, I wasstill trying to get him to do
something based on the way I hadlived my life and things he had
(22:46):
taught me my whole life, andwhile I was present to what he
was struggling with, I wasn'tfully present because I was
trying to get him to dosomething that he had taught me
about being safe and I didn'trealize he didn't have access to
that anymore, because I'mtrying to do what my dad taught
me all my life.
And so what I recognized isthat there's a difference
between accepting something andbeing present to massively
(23:09):
accepting, which is we acceptexactly what is.
We accept it 100%.
We don't have to like it, wedon't have to agree with it and
in the moment we don't even haveto understand it.
That may come days, weeks,months, years later.
We just have to accept it.
And, most importantly, we haveto accept it without judgment,
(23:33):
not judgment of ourselves orothers, of the situation.
So we massively accept this.
And when we do, from a presenceperspective, we practice radical
presence, which is saying,fully focused in the moment,
which is all we really have.
We're not doing what I wasdoing.
I was wanting it to be the wayit had been before, remembering
(23:56):
the way my dad had taught me,the way he'd been doing things
all his life.
And then I was also projecting,fortune telling, projecting in
the future, based on what couldpotentially happen, as opposed
to really looking at what thepotential impossibilities in the
moment were.
And when we practice massiveacceptance and radical presence,
we are able to see thepotential impossibilities in the
(24:17):
moment, which means we're ableto make the wisest decisions
because we're not judging it,we're not clouding it with
anything.
It's like what is here and now,what do we make the decision?
The gift in that is that we'reable to make a more challenging
decision and feel confident withit so we can move forward and
(24:39):
take the next steps and we canget support if that's the right
thing to do.
But the other part of it isthat we can see beauty and even
the tiniest little thing,because we're right there, fully
present, and we're justobserving it for exactly what it
is.
So I would say that one of thegreatest things caregiver, in
any area of their caregiving,experience and journey, is
(25:02):
massive acceptance and radicalpresence.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
Wow, and you know that can go through and, like
you said, it could be in everyarea of your life that you can
be utilizing those, because it'sreally important if we're going
to be present in the moment andreally embrace what's in front
of us.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
When you practice it in other areas of your life, it
just keeps getting better andbetter and better.
Yeah, like it's easier, likeit's easier, and it's not devoid
of challenges, it's just devoidof how, because I also feel
like everything in our lives ishappening for us.
There's a lesson for us ineverything, whether it's a
challenging moment or a positivemoment.
(25:49):
It allows us to be able to seethat, so we can grow from those
things.
So it is great in all areas ofour lives.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
We talked about something briefly when we met
for coffee that day and it wasabout self care, and I'd love
for you to maybe just touch onself care for caregivers.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
So thank you for asking that Such a great
question.
Self care and I say self careisn't selfish, it's self love.
Self care can be verychallenging because we want to
provide the best level of carepossible for our care receiver
and it's easy for us to justshave off a little here or a
(26:32):
little there.
I don't need much sleep, I canstay up an extra hour after
they've gone to bed and do thefinances, or I can get up an
extra hour early and do thelaundry, and so we, instead of
going to the gym, will do thelaundry or do something else
because we want to make surewe're fully present for our care
receiver.
So we begin to shave off.
(26:52):
Or we haven't defined what selfcare looks like for us.
We haven't said to ourselvesself care is so important, and
so self care is the combinationof what does it look like for
you?
What does it look like if youdon't practice it?
(27:12):
Because many of us have steppedinto overwhelm and we've seen,
when we're not practicingself-care, what happens.
And so what does it look likefor you?
And then, how do you apply it?
Let's say you've only got aminute or two.
What would be something youcould do in a minute, what would
you do if you had five minutes,if you had an hour, if you had
(27:32):
two hours?
And then you look intentionally.
So self-care is somethingthat's intentional in our lives.
How do you intentionallyincorporate it into your life so
that you remember you need totake care of you and you honor
that?
And as your caregiving journeygoes through different seasons,
(27:56):
you have different ways of beingable to practice it.
You also recognize that if youget to a place in your life
where you don't have capacity oryou feel like you have to shave
off self-care, that's a placewhere you go.
I need support.
It's time for me to reach outto somebody else because I'm not
giving up self-care, because ifyou're not there for your care
(28:18):
receiver, that's a biggerproblem.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, and that kind of has my mind circling back to
the organizational element andhow, if you are being supported
at an organization, how can thatorganization make sure that
self-care is part of the process?
That sounds like it's somethingthat would be important,
because we want our peopleshowing up well to work.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
You want them showing up well and then you want them
to have, and I have noticedorganizations have done things
They'll have.
Some of them have like a Zengarden where some of them will
have a space where people can goand just be quiet.
Some organizations, while theydon't necessarily call it
self-care, they support theconcept of that or they've
created programs where somebodycould go out and take a course
(29:08):
or they could do something.
But I like what you're sayingis to make it in an intentional
part of what people are doing,and truly self-care doesn't have
to be something that you haveto do an hour in the morning and
then 15 minutes in theafternoon or whatever.
It can be a variety ofdifferent things.
It's you figuring out what itis for you and being intentional
(29:31):
about doing it.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
You know, I know you are a woman of faith, so I would
love to hear a little bit abouthow all of this combined the
work that you do kind of youknow attaches to your faith,
what that means to you.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
From a faith perspective.
I have conversations with Godall the time and my
conversations are if there'ssomething I can be doing to
provide a better level ofsupport for my loved one, until
you're ready for them, pleaselet me know.
I'm doing what I feel that Ican do and it's very important
(30:12):
to me, and yet please keepguiding me if I could be doing
something better for their care.
And I also recognize I can onlycontrol me and, from a
faith-based perspective, I thankGod.
All the time I say I don't knowwhy.
This is our journey.
I accept this is our journey.
(30:33):
Maybe someday I will understand.
I don't need to understand.
I accept it and whateverlessons you have for me I don't
want to miss.
So please allow me to learn thelessons and if I'm not paying
attention, thump me.
And also, for my care receiver,help me make sure that if
(30:56):
there's something you want forthem, if there's a lesson they
still need to learn beforeyou're ready for them, that I
put them in the best positionfor that lesson to be a part of
their journey.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
That is beautiful.
Thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Thank you.
I really feel like God broughtme here for a reason.
He brought it all of us for areason.
He's got reasons for the thingshe does that we don't
necessarily understand.
This is our journey.
I don't fight it.
I'm not angry with God aboutanything.
I'm not angry with anybodyabout anything.
I embrace it as what is therehere for us to learn.
Would I have chosen it?
(31:31):
I wouldn't have chosen it ifyou had given me a list.
However, there are all kinds ofthings we wouldn't choose in
our lives if we had a list tochoose them.
And yet, when we reflect back,we've developed resilience,
we're stronger, we've learnedthings from it.
It's the same thing with grief.
We wouldn't have the emotion ofgrief if it didn't have a
(31:51):
purpose in our lives, and so,while most people wish they
didn't have to navigate grief,there's a reason for it.
Speaker 1 (32:00):
There sure is, Wow, A lot of good information here.
Ms Sue Ryan, how can people getahold of you Because I'm sure
there's gonna be listeners whoyou really pique their interest,
whether it's at anorganizational level, leadership
level or individual level whomaybe just heard something today
(32:21):
and is like I need to justreach out to Sue.
How can they get moreinformation?
And I will put what you sent meinto the show notes there, but
how can people get ahold of you?
Maybe find out a little bitmore about what you do.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Thank you.
My email address is Sue atsu-ryansolutions.
My website is su-ryansolutionsand people can reach out through
that.
I'm on.
I'll look on LinkedIn.
I don't remember if I'm SusanRyan.
My given name is Susan.
(32:56):
I don't remember if I'm SusanRyan or Sue Ryan on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
All right, and look for the red hair.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Yeah, you can tell from my profile picture.
If you've found there, Let mepull it up real quick.
I'll tell you who I am onLinkedIn and those are, and I
really want people to know theynever have to be alone on their
journey.
So, yeah, on LinkedIn I'm SueRyan or Sue Armstrong Ryan.
Yeah, so I'm Sue Ryan, At anyrate, wherever they are.
(33:28):
I hope that this gives them theopportunity to consider, if
they're on a journey or if theyare leading others who are on
the journey, ways for them to beable to provide an extra level
of support.
And one other point diagnosesdon't discriminate.
(33:50):
You can be the CEO of anorganization and your spouse or
your parents they have somethingand they need a caregiver and
you instantly become a caregiver.
It doesn't matter where you arein an organization.
You can become a familycaregiver.
Speaker 1 (34:09):
One last question that I have about it early on
about when organizations assesswhat is a good way for them to
be assessing.
What does that look like, andis there implications with HR
and legal issues?
How does that work?
Do you happen to have an answerto that?
(34:29):
They are very important.
Speaker 2 (34:34):
They have it all reviewed and I'm not an attorney
and I'm not an HR specialist.
I've had conversations.
Different organizations havenavigated this differently.
The recommendation I will sayis, whatever you do, run it
through legal and through HR,because there are implications.
However, from a leadershipperspective, when the
(34:56):
organizational leadershipcommunicates to the organization
, we understand and we want tolearn more about the family
caregivers in our organizationso that we can provide support
resources for them and for ourteam, so that we can all work
(35:17):
together, because it's not justthe family caregiver, it's the
other people who are impacted.
When the organization makes itknown that caregivers have
permission to then self-identify, then whatever way the
organization chooses to do thatIn the beginning, one of the
(35:37):
things some of them have done isa completely anonymous survey.
They've said we don't want toknow who you are.
All we want to know is how manyfamily caregivers we have, how
many non-professional caregiverswe have, so that we can be
considering how to support you.
(35:57):
It's having the caregivers havepermission to self-identify,
knowing that it's okay that theycan do that.
Speaker 1 (36:10):
Then start taking questions.
Reach out to Sue Ryan.
She will help you navigate theprocess for this because it is
important.
Like I said earlier, it'sprobably something that
organizations are not reallythinking about unless it has
somehow.
Their top leadership has been acaregiver or had to look into
(36:36):
caregiving A lot of times.
Things at the top they willtrickle down if there's been
experience up here where theyneed to know and need to expand
that.
Speaker 2 (36:47):
It's been challenging as I go into organizations.
It's challenging because thereare so many things going on in
organizations right now.
It would be great to be able topush it farther down the road.
The challenge is this is notsomething that's linear, being
pushed down the road.
It's increasing exponentially,and so the longer that an
(37:09):
organization goes withoutaddressing it, the exponential
increase in the impact it'sgoing to have.
Speaker 1 (37:18):
Well, thank you, sue, for coming on conversations and
really unpacking the good workthat you're doing, the insight
that you have and just yourstrength and your courage and
your collaboration withorganizations and leaders and
individuals who are meeting withyou and having those good
(37:38):
conversations about what theirnext steps are.
So thank you so much.
I appreciate you and the workthat you're doing.
Speaker 2 (37:45):
I appreciate you and the work you're doing and
helping leaders and everythingthat you're bringing with the
messages that you are, and I'mreally grateful for the
opportunity to raise this topeople's level of awareness so
that they can consider it asthey move forward.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
You're welcome.
I keep saying it is importantwork and it's different.
And I love the conversationbecause it's different than just
the regular things you thinkabout within leadership and
teams and organizations.
It's just different, but it's aneed to.
(38:22):
We need to be having theseconversations, we need to be
figuring out how to honor ourpeople and doing it with what
their needs are, because, likeyou said, it could look
different depending on theperson.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (38:37):
I appreciate you.
I do Thank you, thank you,thank you, thank you, thank you,
(40:14):
thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank
(43:11):
you, thank you, thank you, thankyou, you, you, you, you, you,
(51:36):
music, music, music, music,music, music, music, music,
(53:20):
music, music, music, music.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
Ridiculous History
History is beautiful, brutal and, often, ridiculous. Join Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown as they dive into some of the weirdest stories from across the span of human civilization in Ridiculous History, a podcast by iHeartRadio.