Is Your Coparenting Hurting Your Kids? What the Research Says – with Dr. Don Gordon

In this conversation, Dr. Don Gordon, founder and the Executive Director of The Center for Divorce Education, discusses the complexities of co-parenting, particularly in the context of divorce. He highlights the importance of understanding loyalty conflicts, the impact of parental behaviors on children, and effective communication strategies for co-parents. Dr. Gordon emphasizes the need for self-regulation techniques for parents and the psychological effects of conflict on children. He also provides resources for co-parents to improve their relationships and parenting skills.

Learn more about The Center for Divorce Education programs at: https://divorce-education.com/

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Keywords
co-parenting, divorce, loyalty conflicts, child psychology, communication strategies, parental behavior, conflict resolution, emotional literacy, self-regulation, parenting resources

Key Takeaways

• The absence of a biological father is a risk factor for delinquency.
• Loyalty conflicts can significantly affect children's emotional well-being.
• Parents often unknowingly put their children in loyalty binds.
• Teaching parents about their impact on children can motivate change.
• Effective communication is crucial in co-parenting relationships.
• Using 'I' messages can diffuse conflict between co-parents.
• Self-regulation techniques can help parents manage stress.
• Children's cortisol levels can be affected by parental conflict.
• Active listening fosters better communication with children.
• Resources are available to help co-parents navigate their challenges.

Resources Mentioned

Dr. Gordon’s Programs & Websites:

• Children in Between (4-hour co-parenting course) online.divorce-education.com
• High Conflict Solutions (for high-conflict co-parenting situations)
  highconflictsolutions.com
• Children in Between for Kids (teaches kids ages 7-14 emotional literacy & self-regulation) childreninbetweenforkids.com
• Parenting Wisely (general parenting skills program) FamilyWorksInc.com

Books & Experts Mentioned:

• No Bad Parts – Book by Dr. Richard Schwartz (focuses on inner healing and personal growth using the Internal Family Systems model)
• Dr. Warren Farrell – Expert on active listening and relationship-building strategies

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Co-Parenting Challenges
02:47 Understanding Loyalty Conflicts in Co-Parenting
05:55 Identifying Unintentional Harmful Behaviors
08:50 Effective Communication Strategies for Co-Parents
11:52 Navigating High Conflict Co-Parenting Relationships
15:36 The Impact of Conflict on Children
19:45 Self-Regulation Techniques for Parents
24:40 Focusing on Personal Growth and Accountability
28:00 Communication Strategies for Children
30:39 Leveraging Technology in Co-Parenting
31:05 Resources for Co-Parents

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