February 15, 2024 • 44 mins
In this episode, join Maria as she dive into the inspiring and transformative story of her co-host Tammie Lakose, who bravely shares their personal journey through bariatric surgery.
Struggling with weight-related health issues, Tammie decided to take control of her life and explore the option of bariatric surgery. Tune in to hear the emotional rollercoaster of her decision-making process.
Tammie discusses the pre-surgery preparations, the challenges faced, and the unwavering determination that fueled her journey. Tammie discusses the impact on her relationships, self-esteem, and overall quality of life. She also sheds light on the misconceptions surrounding bariatric surgery and how it became a powerful tool in their pursuit of health and happiness.
Whether you're considering bariatric surgery yourself or simply seeking inspiration, this episode offers valuable insights, encouragement, and a firsthand account of the profound impact that weight loss surgery can have on one's life. Join Maria and Tammie on this journey of empowerment, resilience, and the pursuit of a healthier, happier self.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Core Bariatric's podcast, hosted by
bariatric surgeon Dr MariaIliakova and Tami LaCos,
bariatric coordinator and apatient herself.
Our goal is building andelevating our community.
The Core Bariatric podcast doesnot offer medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
On this podcast, we aim toshare stories, support and
(00:22):
insight into the world beyondthe clinic.
Let's get into it, maria.
You know why I think we dothings so well together Tell me,
because we both have ADHD.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hey, now Okay mine is diagnosed.
Dr Tami.
Dr Tami diagnosed, that's true.
Well, why do you say thatthat's a blow?
Why do you say that?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I don't think it's a blow.
I think if people with ADHD, asmuch as it, has a lot of
struggles, I think it makes usmore productive.
Yeah, and like we get stuffdone.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I love that because honestly yes, but then we also
have paralysis, where we don'tget a dang thing done.
Yeah, no doubt.
I think ADHD is such a likeflip of a coin.
The good part is you're always,your mind is always going,
you're always thinking, you'realways creating, you're always
all these things.
But then the flip side is, likeyou said, like having too much
of that going on and all of asudden you can't do anything.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
But once I embraced my ADHD, I feel like I'm able to
utilize it better.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Fair, so maybe I need to do the same.
I feel calm now.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Maybe I don't know.
I've never seen you have theparalysis.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Oh boy, you just don't see it, but it definitely
happens.
But why is this about me?
This is supposed to be aboutyou.
Yes, this is exactly how itgoes.
We start talking aboutsomething about Tammy and all of
a sudden, tammy doesn't want totalk about it and we start
talking about a million otherthings.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
This episode is now I feel called out.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
You are called out because this episode is all
about you and your story.
Okay, okay, focus Tammy.
No, kidding, no, but Tammy,tell me a little bit about
yourself.
What do you want everyone toknow about you?
How do you identify?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Sorry, my mind went off in an inappropriate way.
I am a mom.
I have three boys 12, 6, and 2.
10 out of 10.
Don't recommend Either get itdone or don't have three.
I am married, have been marriedsince 2020, live in Iowa from
(02:30):
Wisconsin.
There's not much to me.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I'm still finding me.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I went to college, so I should say I had my son, my
first son, when I was 18.
He gave me the drive to go tocollege.
I'm the first of my family tograduate college.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
And I went for respiratory therapy.
Some easy stuff A respiratorytherapist is Right Nurse for the
lungs.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Oh, I like that yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
That's what I say Because everybody thinks we're
nurses.
So worked in hospital for alittle while, then went to
clinic, was there for three anda half years and you sucked me
into bariatrics.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, big vacuum sound.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
No, so I obviously sought out bariatric surgery.
One of the MAs the medicalassistants in the clinic that
you were working at brought medown.
Yeah, because she knew Istarted the process prior.
Yeah, but then got pregnantbecause when she started feeling
good.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, anyways, so I had bariatric surgery with you.
Yeah, I was your firstbariatric patient.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Obviously you've done surgery before.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
No, you were my first , and then Ever.
I can't.
Oh my God, I can't.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And we meshed so well and you were so willing to hear
thoughts how you can make yourprogram better, and so you're
like you should be our bariatriccoordinator.
So you fought for that and Istarted doing that.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I'm so glad you're doing it.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Our clinic didn't go great.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Oh, the clinic went great I should say yeah, the
clinic actually did go prettygreat, but the rest of
everything went differentdirections yes, so back in the
hospital.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I've missed the hospital, but it's really hard
to come out of the treatingchronic instead of acute, where
patients are in the hospitalwith acute issues.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
And so I want to solve all their problems like oh
, what inhalers are you on?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
But I'm enjoying it.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
And you're giving me side tracks of doing this
podcast and still making adifference in the bariatric
community.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Yeah, and I think that's very reasonable, because
I think there's a lot of stuffthat's there for before and why
to do it and why it matters, butthere's not that much out there
for how you're supposed to livethe rest of your life with it.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
And it changes a lot.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, and you created , I think, a really good
motivation for me to getinvolved in this too, because I
think being on this side, on thesurgery side especially, you're
kind of like, oh, you do theprocedure and you definitely see
people a long time down theroad and things like that.
But the focus is really ongetting the one thing done, the
one surgery done, and getting tothat and really getting people
(05:16):
ready for that.
And then at the other sidethere's not a lot of.
I hate to say this, butmedicine is a business.
For anyone who doesn't know,and medicine makes money for a
lot of people a lot of differentways, and I would not say the
providers or the patientsbenefit from that necessarily
the most.
But right, and that's evidenced, I think, by the fact that
after surgery, the kind ofactual support and like long
(05:36):
term care and things like thatthat people need or would
benefit from, there's not reallya way to support that from a
medical system or bill for it orany of those things, which is
why it doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
And there are a lot of providers out there.
I think that practice like you,that they have the mentality of
I want to help the patientforever but, just like you, were
stuck in a atmosphere.
That is no get the patient inget the patient get it done.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And then everyone moves on.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
And then everybody hated us.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
What do you would say so much that it's just like,
that's just how it is.
You know what I mean.
And if you want to createsomething different, then you
got to create your own.
So we're working on that.
Yes, we're going to.
We're going to keep everyoneinformed of how that's going.
But, yeah, we're trying tocreate some resources for people
.
But I really want to hear aboutyour story and your why you did
this and why you even thoughtabout it, because I think it's
(06:30):
really important for people tohear.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Yeah, absolutely so.
I hate talking about myself.
So bear with me, guys.
Really my wise were my kids.
I have three boys.
As I said, my 12 year old is soactive between baseball,
football, so active andobviously to be good at those
things you have to keeppracticing.
So me, as mom, I have topractice with him, playing with
(06:55):
my kids.
Honestly, there were days whereI dreaded it.
Yeah because I had no energy.
Yeah that broke my heart whenmy kid just wants to play trains
on the floor and I just don'thave the energy.
So that was definitely one ofmy wise.
So no energy, for sure I didhave sleep apnea, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I think I still do most people that have sleep
apnea.
It can be treated with weightloss.
Unfortunately for me, I have avery high palate and a very
narrow mouth, so the sleep techthat I'm working with now is
like unfortunately, unless youget your anatomy changed you're
(07:38):
probably always gonna have itlike your mouth anatomy.
Yes, yes.
So I very, very thin mouth.
It's not why it doesn't fit onmy teeth clearly and my palate
is very high.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I got you, I got you.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I'm gonna invest in myself.
Yeah, my 12 year old just isgetting done with his Invisal
lines Nice.
So I'm gonna invest in myselfand do that Get some new teeth.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
No, I love that, I mean which is yeah, which is
hard to do, it was hard to doNow.
Now it's not so much.
I prioritize myself.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
So tell me what changed.
Why do you?
You do sound like you'reprioritizing yourself, and I
want to congratulate you forthat.
That's a big deal, yeah.
So what changed?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Realizing that happy mom is happy family, Happy wife
happy life.
I like that.
I'm very, very much so likeit's not all about the woman you
need to be a man happy to youknow?
Yeah, so I have this spousehappy house.
I love that.
So, yeah, making time formyself makes me happier, gives
(08:44):
me more energy and more patienceto deal with three, sometimes
four, husband kids routingpeople.
But I also had high bloodpressure at.
As I said, I'm only 30 now, soI had high blood pressure before
I was even 30.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Like what the hell?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Well, and what is it?
So what does that feel?
Well, no, no, no, you can saywhat the hell's.
Okay, this is an approved,those approved language for this
.
I think Just don't go overboard.
No kidding, tell me what that'slike.
What does it like to take bloodpressure meds before 30?
Like, why, why do you saybefore 30?
It sounds like that's a bigdeal.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Because I feel like in your 20s you're still your
healthiest.
No-transcript, yeah, I justdon't know.
You're at your healthiest.
Your body hasn't disintegratedyet, or bad wording but I feel
like at 30.
Now again I'm working in thehospital.
I had to buy my first pair ofnice supportive shoes.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Oh, good for you 30 is already going downhill.
Good for you, no, I love it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
But listen.
So I did the same thing.
My feet were hurting, yeah, no,I did the same thing.
I started finally wearingcompression socks and like my 30
year of residency and that'salso around the time that I
guess I was in my turning aroundto turn 30 or something like
that and so, yes, but it makes ahuge difference why we have
this whole resistance to likehelping ourselves and helping
(10:02):
our bodies.
It just it's so natural wedon't like to do it.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
And I feel like I have gained so much weight.
Had high blood pressure, sleepapnea no energy.
I'm not worth spending anyextra on myself.
I wasn't.
That was the mindset I was in,so whatever energy.
I had, I felt like I had to putinto my family.
So that mindset has definitelychanged.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
That's really interesting.
I don't know that, I've heardpeople talk about that, but like
your self worth changes or yourability to like invest in
yourself, changes at different,like different perceptions of
yourself, can you tell me moreabout that?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Definitely good and bad perceptions.
I used to talk negatively aboutmyself all the time, like if me
and my husband were planning togo out, I would sometimes
cancel because I'm like I havenothing to wear, everything
looks horrible on me and so nowI don't even care.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Honestly, no you've been sending me photos of you
and like dressing up and allkinds of ways.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, I'm gonna be a little more mindful of who I'm
dressing up around, becauseapparently my husband's
coworkers were impressed andverbalized that I love it.
That's just a confidencebooster, not that I need to be
eye candy for anybody but myselfand my husband.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Well, sure.
But, sure it feels good.
It feels good.
Congrats, that's a big deal.
Yeah that's a big deal, that'sawesome, that's so great.
It does feel like there's a bigshift in people's energy, and I
don't mean like, oh, I feelvery energetic, but it feels
like people's energy aboutthemselves changes through this.
(11:45):
Can you tell me a little bitabout that?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah, they feel worth working on, spending time on.
So, yeah, like I've spent moretime, not only, sure, getting my
nails done, yeah, my hair done,shopping whatever, yeah, but
career wise, yeah, us as womenyeah let me just say that the
(12:07):
one reason, one of the reasons Iwent to college and made sure I
had a good job.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So I never had to rely on a man.
I grew up in a household thatthat's how it was and a person
was trapped and I never wantedthat.
Yeah, so I've always had acareer, obviously, but my
husband's has always beenprioritized.
So now I'm just like no.
I'm going to work, you'restaying home.
(12:35):
Figure it out Like he would goa year without any PTO.
So now my career is worth ityeah.
To me now.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I love it.
And it definitely isn't.
It's not a competition of likemy job versus your job or me
versus you, no, no.
But it's also you'reprioritizing yourself and what
you want out of, not just, youknow, in one aspect of your life
, but in, like, all of theseaspects of your life.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, it was my turn to find, or continue to do stuff
that made me happy.
This makes me happy.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
It's very energizing to hear ithonestly, because I think a lot
of people don't think aboutwhat kind of impact it's going
to make in ways you can'tmeasure, in ways you can't see
pounds or in ways you can't seenumbers necessarily, and it's a
lot more about how you feelrather than 100%.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I always ask patients how are you feeling?
How?
Do you feel I don't really careabout your scale.
That's Maria.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I don't care about it either that much though you
know that right Right.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Right so it's.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
How are you, how do you?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
feel Right, exactly.
So how did it feel going inlike before you knew what this
was going to be like and thingslike that?
You said one of the MAs broughtyou down.
So it sounds like there was,there was another force involved
, so what did it?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, so what did it feel like before you got started
?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Gary is all get up Like.
I knew people that have hadbariatric surgery.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
So I wasn't afraid of the surgery itself.
Yeah, I was honestly moreafraid of how it would change me
how it would change myrelationship like the stuff that
people really don't look at.
Honestly, it felt like thelowest part of my life because
I'm sitting in a waiting room ina bariatric surgeon's office
waiting for an eval because Ican't stop gaining weight.
(14:24):
I gained 100 pounds in a yearafter my third son and so it
just felt not great.
But being in front of you younever felt made me feel less
worthy or that you were judgingme for being obese Like you.
Look at the big picture of whatelse is going on.
(14:47):
Sometimes it's not just eatingless and moving more.
And yeah, you never asked melike because you left it to the
dietitian, obviously but younever asked like are you eating
crap?
Are you moving Like you reallynever.
You're like let's get down tothe why this is happening.
(15:08):
You asked what do you want toachieve out of this?
And it definitely was not justto get skinny, because I'm not.
It was just to feel better.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, and that's yeah , that's beautiful.
I mean, like, do you think thatif it had been a different
experience, what if it had beenan experience that was a little
bit more focused on anythingelse, I guess, or numbers, or
just a different approach?
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Well, with that, I probably have an eating disorder
and I'd probably care about.
I'd be so hyper focused on whatI'm eating.
I'd be afraid of if I gainedfive pounds, going into an
office and having to tell mysurgeon I gained five pounds.
Oh yeah, that's why I wanted toshare you with the world
(15:51):
honestly, because so many peopleI see on Facebook are dealing
with I don't want to go to myappointment because I've gained
a little weight and they'regoing to get judged for that.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah and yeah.
Yeah, it does break my heartactually, because we can do so
much better and we it doesn'teven matter, like it's not even
a matter of how you want to doit or it looking nice or not
looking nice or any of thosethings.
It's like backed by data.
That's the thing that kills me.
Yeah, like attaching weight tomorality or shame or really
(16:23):
anything, but like what are ourgoals here?
And kind of starting maybe withthe weight but then moving on
very quickly to things that arenot just the weight.
It's just like that's goodhealthcare, that's good science.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
See, that's what I loved about your workflow and
pathway was okay.
Here's your weight.
I don't give a crap what yourweight is from now until surgery
.
You're like I want you to makethose changes, and if you lose
weight in the process, that'sgreat.
But it's not.
Our goal is to lose this weight, so you made it.
So we focused on getting ourwater in, not going out to eat
(16:58):
as much.
You never came in and said howmuch weight did you lose?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Because that's jarring for people and I think a
lot of people think like oh,isn't that motivating?
Doesn't Jill Michaels on, youknow?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
like greater.
No, it makes me scared to comein Exactly, and you like?
Oh, I gained five pounds.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Exactly, and I think people need to realize that that
, like it's not about ego, it'snot about like me good for
myself, or me figuring out howto make myself feel good, it
100% is about somebody elsegetting what they want out of it
.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Period I love about you.
We've worked with people thatit's not the same.
But some people need that typeof person or type of surgeon.
They just need someone to belike no, you need to lose this
weight.
That's, it is what it is Right.
People need that.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Sure, not me.
Sure I love it, but I think,you know, because that kind of
judgment and that kind ofattitude exists in the world, so
much for us to reinforce thatin the clinic or in the anyway,
in any kind of like actual carewe're providing to people, just
seems really silly to me and itseems unnecessary, because if
you are looking for that, youwill find that in the world
(18:06):
around you there is no lack ofthat, but there's, like you said
, a huge lack of empathy,because we're dealing with human
beings, and we're dealing withhuman beings that, like you said
, that are sometimes feelinglike they're at the lowest point
in their life and not feelingso high.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
You don't know what people are going through?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Honestly, I've looked at a lot of our patients and
dug in to get to know them andthen it's kind of like, oh, that
that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Like it just makes sense of why you are the way you
are.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
And you, just most of our patients just need support.
They need a community.
That's me Like.
I have my husband.
Yeah, I have some friends, butthey don't understand.
Yeah, that's what people need.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I feel like right, that's what like binge eating
comes in Is.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
people are struggling .
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Right, right, and don't necessarily have it all in
it, but I like to help has alot to do with this.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And, to be honest with you, like I relate to this
to end of this episode about you.
I promise I love how we canpeople can hear us connect.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
We are completely and you will say, no, I know, but
we're completely different.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yeah, no, it's true.
But we share common struggles100% because I share the binge
eating disorder and all of that.
Like that is an active part ofmy life and always will be.
I understand for me, forinstance, when it's kind of a
two way street or like a feedforward mechanism there too,
where once it gets activated,once it gets triggered by
(19:32):
something, it's hard for me togo to anyone for help and it's
easier to isolate.
And isolation then makes itmore reinforced and with it
being more reinforced then Ifeel the more of the need to
isolate and so on.
And I think a lot of people canreally relate to that sounds
like a lot of folks just period,and not even people that we're
seeing or people that weretreating or anything like that.
(19:53):
It's just a lot of people outthere can really relate to.
I am struggling for some reasonand then I'm making it even
worse on myself because I'misolating and not getting help
and I know I should be or I knowI could be, but it's so hard
and embarrassing and tough andall those things and everyone
relates to that Because of whatpeople think of bariatric
surgery.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
It's embarrassing and I know that's why a lot of
people do not step foot in abariatric surgery office,
because they're afraid of thejudgment.
I actually saw a post the otherday in a Facebook group.
I just wanted to cry for her.
She had surgery, lost weight,she goes to the gym all the time
and this very attractive mancame up to her and was talking
(20:36):
to her and knew she lost a lotof weight and was like looking
to hang out and all that.
Somehow they got on the topicof losing weight and he's like
how'd you do it?
What'd you do?
And she's like I had bariatricsurgery and she said that his
face just went blank and hestarted treating her differently
.
And she even stuck up forherself and said I'm here at the
(21:01):
gym Five days, five, six days aweek.
I run eight miles like she'sdoing all the things.
Why are we getting judged for ajumpstart or a tool when she's
doing all the work?
She's doing all the same thingsyou are doing.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, that was my mind, because you hit on this
woman.
Clearly you think she'sattractive and she's literally
at the gym doing the thing thatyou are to, and then, all of a
sudden, we judge people.
It's literally like judgingsomeone for taking a blood
pressure medication to get theirblood pressure in check, the
amount of and nobody hasjudgment for that.
No, we shouldn't have judgmentfor this either.
It's like we're using a medicalprocedure.
(21:38):
We're using a medical treatmentfor a medical thing.
What on earth can we get ourheads out of our butts on this
one?
Possibly Like as a society butno, you're right Like this is
yes, I get very, very riled upabout this because it is medical
care.
It is medical care that works.
Clearly, it works.
If the person's at the gym andjoined their life and they're
(22:00):
getting what they want out of it, it worked.
That's the thing to celebrateand people getting weird about
it or having thoughts.
You can have all the thoughtsin the world about it, but if
you're not willing to geteducated about it and change
those thoughts, ultimatelythat's just a form of
discrimination.
Yeah, it's just a form ofwanting to keep yourself in the
dark and hurt other people A lotof people don't tell people
(22:23):
they have bariatric surgery.
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Meanwhile I'm over here like.
So, joe, I'm like if I havebariatric surgery I won't fight.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
But look at how awesome that is, though, because
I know this process has notbeen straightforward for you.
I know it's not been easy.
I know you did a ton ofpreparation and I actually want
to know about that a lot more,but I'm so proud of you for
talking about it, because thathelps other people realize they
could do it too, and, ultimately, I think it moves the needle,
with people being willing totalk about it and willing to
(22:52):
understand that this can bereally helpful and really
awesome, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I'm an open book for everybody, honestly, so tell me
what it is.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Can you tell me, to me, how you prepared?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
So I had to have at least six months worth of
appointments before havingsurgery due to my insurance.
I had an hour drive to and fromwork.
So an hour each way, so twohours a day, five days a week.
I listened to all the YouTubevideos, I listened to all the
(23:24):
books on Audible, I read all thearticles, listen to people's
journeys, all the things.
So I prepared.
I knew a lot.
You're still learning, likethere's so much that we don't
know.
So I prepared a lot.
I knew a lot.
I wanted to know what I wasgetting into, especially with
the mental health issues that myfamily and myself with and
(23:49):
addictions and stuff like that.
I wanted to make sure I knewhow to handle that.
Yeah, and I know how to handleit.
Nope, there's nothing out thereabout it.
There's nothing out there aboutall the hard things.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Yeah, no kidding, because I think it's either.
I mean, we just we have a toughtime talking about difficult
things, period.
And you're right, there's not alot out there about what to do
when you're struggling, becauseit's not a matter of when for
something, and that's not unlikeanything else that's worth
doing.
Right, how about gettingsupport from family and friends,
(24:25):
because you've mentioned acouple of times that even now,
it's sometimes tough to relateto people who haven't gone
through this, so can you tell mea little bit more about that?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
So my husband's always been supported.
I've always been an open bookwith him prior to surgery.
I'm like, if you ever see megoing back into bad habits, I
want you to be open, honest withme.
If you ever see me drinkingmore than I would, you need to
be honest with me because I havethose.
What are they called?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Tendencies towards that.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Not tendencies, but I have those risk factors.
Okay, got it.
Yes, okay.
So my mental health providersaid I would never drink a day
after surgery honestly.
But drinking has never been mything, but I made sure that my
husband would be open and honestabout that.
Got it.
My husband has always beensupportive.
He's still supportive becausewhen I had low iron, still have
(25:15):
low iron, so tired, and so heknew when I needed a nap I
needed a nap.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
But he's also like have you taken your vitamins?
If you're not taking yourvitamins, I almost don't feel
bad for you.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You don't deserve this kitty.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
So, yeah, honestly, yeah, if he saw me continuing to
be tired, not taking myvitamins, honestly, he probably
wouldn't be as supportive.
He'd probably be like againdon't even feel bad for you.
So he's very supportive, veryopen and honest.
I don't have a lot of family.
I'm pretty much estranged frommy parents.
My other family lives far away.
Actually, nobody in my familyknew I was having surgery,
(25:56):
except I did tell my grandma theday prior and she was a little
mad at me, But-.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Wait what?
Was she mad at you because youhadn't told her, or was she mad
at you for doing it, or both?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
No, she was mad at me because I didn't tell her.
We actually have one of myaunt's best friends, husbands,
who comes to all of ourthanksgivings when we did do
Thanksgiving, had bariatricsurgery too, and she recognized
that it could do the same thing.
She's like oh, this is the samesurgery as him, okay, okay, no,
(26:28):
yeah, she was just mad that Ididn't tell her.
But I didn't want the judgment,not that I think she would
judge me, I just don't want yourcomments.
So I really didn't tell a lotof people, honestly, even some
of my closest friends there'sreasons for that, just the
judgment.
And yeah, I still struggle withhaving that support group
Because, even though people saythey're supportive, they don't
(26:49):
know how to support you and youdon't want to have to and,
honestly, you can't tell peoplehow to support you, right.
So that's where a community, abariatric community, would be
honestly helpful for a lot ofpeople and myself.
So, again, doing this selfishly.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Selfishly.
Oh, that's good, that's muddy.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I want a community.
I want people that in apositive community.
I don't want to post on aFacebook group and be like, oh,
I gained five pounds, and peoplejust being like what are you
doing wrong?
Are you drinking your water?
Are you eating enough protein?
Blah blah blah.
So I want a community that ispositive and looks at the big
picture, that it's not alwayseat less, move more.
(27:32):
I have the support of myhusband.
My 12 year old even supports melike mom.
Let's go for a run.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yes, he does.
Yeah yes, he does.
He's incredible.
Yeah, he's incredible he is.
He's been teaching me how touse all this.
Yeah, you've gone from likenone of the technology to being
like tech queen.
Look at this AI thing we'redoing with our podcasts and,
honestly, what a cooltransformation to I feel like,
do this whole process likeanything that comes your way.
(27:58):
You're like bam, bam, I'llfigure it out, I'm going to do
this and it is the key to go upto people and figure it out 100%
Like.
I wish you never, ever stoppeddoing that, because that's so
cool to watch You've given memore confidence to be able to do
it too.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
One before it was just.
You know, I had all these ideasand everything, but I always
thought to myself, like they'renot good enough, I'm not good
enough, like nobody says to meI'm a, make you listen to me,
now You're good enough, tammy,you're not even good enough.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
You're like the best, but honestly you might like.
I think a lot of people reallydownplay themselves and weight
and things like that causespeople to sort of shrink out of
themselves sometimes and it's solike it sucks because I feel
like it's not valid, it's notlike right, any of those things.
And I don't mean to say I'm nottrying to invalidate anyone
(28:47):
that feels that way, not at all.
What I mean.
What I mean is like I hate thatthat people feel that way and I
hate that people feel likethat's in society, like that we
are allowed to do that to people.
I think it's terrible.
You've said that this has had alot of emotional and
psychological impacts on you.
Would you mind talking aboutsome of that?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah, so I can no longer blame any of my issues on
weight.
I can't blame relationships onmy weight.
I can't like it all just comesout.
I feel like I feel like we areable to mask some of the mental
health issues that we've madewhatever had or have with eating
(29:29):
or stuff like that.
And now you can't do thatbecause I don't want to go out
drinking.
I don't want to spend all mymoney, so now it's all coming
like I have to deal with itInteresting.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
So a lot of anxiety and depression has come out,
just in different ways.
It's not so much on my looksanymore, it's now honestly
tackling the past and why I wasthe I was prior to certainly
like why was I poor, insecure,why, just why?
(30:02):
Why was that a mean person?
I used to be a mean person andnow looking back is because of
the insecurities.
I didn't want any attention onmyself.
So now I honestly look atpeople that are being jerks to
other people and I'm just likethat's not cute, it's not.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
And it's coming from a place of hurt for a lot of
people.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
often, it is, it is.
So, that's where I look deeperand try to have compassion for
cranky people.
Love it Honestly.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
You become the crank whisperer.
That actually sounds like aporn name.
That's not a good that's.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
We shouldn't know, right, we may want to do that
out, so now my emotionalmaturity has been heightened,
has gotten more mature and morein tune with my emotions and all
of that, and I have morepatience and all of that.
And that has changed somerelationships, including my
(31:00):
husband, because he's not intothe emotions.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
What guy is?
And I know, you do catch therare bird sometimes, but they
usually get beaten up for it toomany times and then they, they,
absolutely.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Absolutely so.
I think once you, once peoplestop asking all their mental
health issues with eating orunhealthy habits, you are forced
to reckon yeah Head on.
Yeah, and that can be superdamaging.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Has it been easy for you to find, like mental health
resources afterwards or to dealwith it?
I know you, you see someone forthat and that's a really,
obviously a really great way todo it.
But outside of that, oractually just tell me about your
experience with that how do youdeal with it?
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I'm just lucky.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Because our mental health provider that we have for
our program specializes inchildhood trauma yes, d up like
that, and I feel like most ofour patients, or most bariatric
patients, do have some sort ofchildhood trauma or past PTSD,
stuff like that.
So finding someone thatspecializes in that is key and,
(32:10):
just like your surgeon, justlike any health provider, if you
aren't getting what you needout of them, find someone else.
Unfortunately, sometimesthey're harder to come by, yes,
and you may have to search a lotand, unfortunately, some
insurances.
It's hard to do that Becauseactually our mental health
provider is going out on her ownand is only going to be
(32:33):
covering Blue Cross Blue Shield.
I don't have Blue Cross BlueShield, so I will have to pay
more out of pocket and so mentalhealth is not covered as well
as it should be.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Right.
Actually, a lot of this stuffisn't.
I feel like ideally we wouldhave a lot of support with like
nutrition long term and mentalhealth long term, and it
wouldn't just be some peoplegetting that, it would be
everyone.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Dietitian appointments don't even get
covered by 90% of insurance.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
No, they don't.
Which is bananas?
Because they're baloney.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, no kidding Baloney.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Especially because they're required.
That's the part that kills me.
Like you were saying, you hadsix months of required visits
and those visits includerequired dietary visits but
aren't covered by insurance,exactly Like how crazy that is,
but it is not uncommon.
That's a really common featureof a lot of these plans that
cover us.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yay insurance.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Insurance could be better, a lot better.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Very much so.
I am very blessed with goodinsurance.
That's why I don't want tochange, but it still sucks.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
I gotcha, I gotcha.
Can you tell me a little bitabout?
I know a lot of folks wonderwhat the actual processes of
going through surgery andrecovering after surgery and
sort of that like true logisticsof it.
Can you tell me a little bitabout what that was like?
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So obviously depending on your insurance and
a program's requirement.
Most people need to be in aprogram three to six months.
During that time, you areseeing a dietitian.
Make sure you are on the roadof making good choices, changing
those things you need to change, getting labs in an EKG, making
sure you're healthy to havesurgery, making sure you're
(34:09):
mentally stable to have surgery.
And there's been patients thatwe've had to say not at this
time, not at this time, but wecan get there.
We can get there and they justneeded those resources.
I do want to say a lot ofpeople think that they're afraid
that their anxiety anddepression are going to get them
rejected for surgery.
(34:30):
Yeah, no, they are looking atdeep rooted issues.
Yes, like, are you going to bea harm to yourself, are you
going to be a harm to others,kind of thing.
So don't stress out about thatpart.
Yes, just be open and honest,because those providers can
potentially help you withresources after surgery and so
if you're open about thoseresources, they'll be like yeah,
(34:53):
they're fine, they're in tunewith their mental health, kind
of thing.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
In fact, anxiety and depression can be an indication
for meaning, like it can be areason for you to get bariatric
surgery or bariatric care ingeneral.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
So yeah, you're absolutely right, yeah the
mental health is not to be likeoh yeah, they have anxiety and
depression and we can't have it.
No, it's looking for reallylike unhealthy way of dealing
with stress alcohol, drop allthe things that would be
detrimental to someone, and thena lot of programs require a
(35:26):
scope.
I got out of that.
Now that I'm educated, I almostwish I did.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah right.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
The biggest thing is testing.
One of the things is testingfor that H-Pylori.
If I would have known you aregoing in there to make sure all
structures are good and it justmakes surgeries safer because
you know what you're gettinginto I would have done it.
I would have done it.
There's a reason for thosethings.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
There's a reason for everything and, you're right,
those aren't required foreveryone, but I do.
I mean, as a general rule inour program we do, and the
reason why is because it justhelps you get the lay of the
land and it helps things be alittle bit safer.
But I know people are scared ofprocedures, people are scared
of having to go under anesthesia, people are scared of risk and
that's super fair Time off work,the cost, I mean.
(36:11):
There are real reasons thatpeople can choose not to do
things and real concerns thatpeople have.
So, you're right, talk withyour people, talk with whoever's
taking care of you and say isthis something I really need?
Is it not?
Is it going to be extra Time,cost, risk, those kinds of
things?
Because, you're right,sometimes it's a discussion
rather than a mandate.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Right, right, and preoperatively, our preop diet
was not liquid, thank goodness Alot of programs I think still
are but our liver shrinking dietincluded food, all food, a
little bit of food, but stillfood.
Oh yeah, because I feel I seeso many posts on Facebook of
(36:53):
people like I can't do this.
This is torture and I honestlythink it is.
To be honest, I agree, and Ijust did the one day preop
liquids and then the week after,liquids, which isn't even as
hard as people think, becauseyou struggle just to sip a thing
of water.
You don't want to eat anything.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yeah, we beat you up pretty good.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Preoperatively I didn't really have a whole lot
of pain.
Luckily you did my surgery withthe robot, Though it just was
more precise and whatnot.
So I really didn't have a lotof pain afterwards.
It was just getting the fluidsin, especially in health care.
I knew I had to get those undercontrol before I went back to
work, but otherwise it's beengood.
(37:39):
You learn foods that don't likeyou and you learn the hard way
of ooh, it's not too much,because by the time you realize
you ate too much it is way toolate.
But still dealing with stuffday to day because mental health
is still a thing, Relationshipproblems are still a thing in
(38:00):
being worked through, I thinkthis just has forced me to dig
into the demon.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Honestly, that's hard because I don't think
everyone's ready for that andpeople wonder why it takes some
time especially in some casesmore than others to get to
surgery, because everyone's like, what's the big deal?
It's a surgery that's prettysafe and all this stuff and yeah
, it's not the surgery itself,it's the afterwards.
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
When you start seeing weight fall off you, but now
you have this loose skin.
It messes with your mind.
There's a lot of things thatmess with your mind and you
still feel super big.
Yeah, it's a lot of mental.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Maybe it's more mental.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Wait more.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Yeah, yeah, I think you're right.
I think you're right.
I'm just really grateful thatyou are being honest about
things and that you talk abouthow challenging some of these
things are, because I reallythink a lot of people want to
know what they're getting into.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
That's what I wanted, but I couldn't find it.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
But you couldn't find , yeah, and honestly, there's
only so much that anyone elsecan share with you if they
haven't gone through the processthemselves.
Even if they have, maybe theirexperience wasn't the same.
So it takes a lot of voices, itdoesn't.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Yes, it takes a lot of voices, and that's why I want
people coming on here sharingtheir experiences, because
everybody's is different.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Right, and everyone's going to have an experience
that maybe resonates withsomeone if we get enough voices
talking about it.
Then this whole building acommunity, the whole idea is.
You know, actually I went tosomething yesterday where I met
a guy.
We were both working on aproject and we were both new to
each other and we were standingin the lobby chatting and then
bouncing ideas off of each other.
(39:44):
We had such a greatconversation and it's that we
want to create.
It's that kind of feeling oflike you get to find your people
and you get to haveconversations that are exciting
and interesting and maybe youwouldn't be able to have with
other people because you're allin it together and you get to
share experiences and find yourbuddy, find your.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
But I also think that we're a little unique, that
look, I know you don't throwyour title out there ever.
Honestly, you're not betterthan anybody.
That's your mentality,obviously, and I love it.
But what makes us a littledifferent is we have a surgeon
in our community that can talkabout this stuff that isn't
(40:22):
talked about, and you arescience, like facts, not just.
This is what my surgeon told me.
This is what my surgeon told me.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
You're right, you're wrong, yeah there's a lot more
to it than that and, believe me,I'm never going to say you know
this, the surgeon doesn't know,or the surgeon is right or the
surgeon is wrong, becausethere's a diversity of reasons
behind why people do certainthings and oftentimes we don't
have a totally clear answer.
So there's going to be variety.
But actually, let's go back toyou.
So I want to talk about some ofthe accomplishments and
(40:53):
challenges.
You've mentioned some of themental ones.
What about some others, likewith your family or with friends
, or just you in general?
What are you?
How's life now?
Speaker 1 (41:03):
It's pretty good.
I have the energy to play withthese who again?
Yeah, I went on a rollercoaster, so I did.
I have in the past.
Yeah, but that was anotherreason for looking into
bariatric surgery is so everyyear we go to adventure land,
which is like a six flags for myhusband's job.
(41:25):
They have to go every year.
I got on a roller coaster andit wouldn't shut.
My son's like wait, why did youget off?
Heartbreaking?
So I went on a roller coaster,we went.
I even drug him on some what Ilove it.
Get on here, not risk taking.
Mom, bring her back.
Look at you.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Look at you.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yeah, but I have the energy to play with my kids, I
have the energy to go out and dothings.
My husband even said he wasn'tready for all the energy.
Like usually, I'm like, no, Idon't really want to go out, and
now I'm like let's go out.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Yeah, I love honestly , we've heard that a lot, or
like, I've definitely heard thata lot of people that, like one,
the one person who went throughit is now running circles
around the other.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
So I think my husband's managing that.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
You've become a hooligan.
Look at you, you've become oneof the three.
Can't blame those kids.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
I just I don't even know how to explain how Good
things have changed.
I'm more confident confidentwith people, I should say.
I am still very insecure aboutmy body because there's loose
skin.
There is not, but I'm moreconfident.
Yeah, I am no longer going intoa room seeing if I'm the
(42:46):
biggest person in the room.
Instead, I go into a roomBecause I usually know who will
be there.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
And I'm like which person am I going to go up to to
talk about my thoughts?
My new CEO during orientation?
I'm like so what are yourthoughts on a very active
program?
Yeah, I would have never donethat.
Nope, nope, nope.
And he's like let's talk.
Yeah, nobody goes up to theirCEO their first week and be like
(43:16):
hey, how about this?
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Right, well, maybe they do, but but yeah, that's.
I think that's so incrediblebecause it's not like you have a
voice.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
It's not something we talk about.
It's not something like wealways talk about scale our
clothes.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Right, right.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Nobody talks about being able to walk up to a very
important person and have aconversation with them.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
And be that we're equal and to be that very
important person, to like thinkof themselves as that very
important person.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
We're not there yet.
Okay, okay, we're getting there.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Work in progress, work in progress, all right,
right.
Well, tammy, I am so amazed byyou.
I'm inspired by you, and Ithink you serve to create
something on your back that isgoing to be really, really
helpful and great for otherpeople too.
You're building an entirecommunity out of your experience
.
That's pretty amazing.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
I really, really do hope so.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You are that very important person.
Get that out of your headplease.
Okay, okay, got it I'll putthat down for my homework.
I love it.
Just crack it open, get it outof there and then move along.
Yes, yes, we'd love to heareveryone's thoughts on today.
If people want to share theirexperiences in going through
bariatric surgery and afterwardsand all the changes they've
undergone, we'd love to hearabout that and your questions,
(44:31):
and we're so thankful thatyou're with us.
So thanks for joining.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yes, go ahead and follow us, and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Bye beautiful, oh, bye lovely.
Welcome to Core Bariatric's podcast, hosted by
bariatric surgeon Dr MariaIliakova and Tami LaCos,
bariatric coordinator and apatient herself.
Our goal is building andelevating our community.
The Core Bariatric podcast doesnot offer medical advice,
diagnosis or treatment.
On this podcast, we aim toshare stories, support and
(00:22):
insight into the world beyondthe clinic.
Let's get into it, maria.
You know why I think we dothings so well together Tell me,
because we both have ADHD.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hey, now Okay mine is diagnosed.
Dr Tami.
Dr Tami diagnosed, that's true.
Well, why do you say thatthat's a blow?
Why do you say that?
Speaker 1 (00:47):
I don't think it's a blow.
I think if people with ADHD, asmuch as it, has a lot of
struggles, I think it makes usmore productive.
Yeah, and like we get stuffdone.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
I love that because honestly yes, but then we also
have paralysis, where we don'tget a dang thing done.
Yeah, no doubt.
I think ADHD is such a likeflip of a coin.
The good part is you're always,your mind is always going,
you're always thinking, you'realways creating, you're always
all these things.
But then the flip side is, likeyou said, like having too much
of that going on and all of asudden you can't do anything.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
But once I embraced my ADHD, I feel like I'm able to
utilize it better.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Fair, so maybe I need to do the same.
I feel calm now.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Maybe I don't know.
I've never seen you have theparalysis.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Oh boy, you just don't see it, but it definitely
happens.
But why is this about me?
This is supposed to be aboutyou.
Yes, this is exactly how itgoes.
We start talking aboutsomething about Tammy and all of
a sudden, tammy doesn't want totalk about it and we start
talking about a million otherthings.
Speaker 1 (01:52):
This episode is now I feel called out.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
You are called out because this episode is all
about you and your story.
Okay, okay, focus Tammy.
No, kidding, no, but Tammy,tell me a little bit about
yourself.
What do you want everyone toknow about you?
How do you identify?
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Sorry, my mind went off in an inappropriate way.
I am a mom.
I have three boys 12, 6, and 2.
10 out of 10.
Don't recommend Either get itdone or don't have three.
I am married, have been marriedsince 2020, live in Iowa from
(02:30):
Wisconsin.
There's not much to me.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
I'm still finding me.
Yes.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I went to college, so I should say I had my son, my
first son, when I was 18.
He gave me the drive to go tocollege.
I'm the first of my family tograduate college.
Speaker 2 (02:49):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
And I went for respiratory therapy.
Some easy stuff A respiratorytherapist is Right Nurse for the
lungs.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Oh, I like that yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
That's what I say Because everybody thinks we're
nurses.
So worked in hospital for alittle while, then went to
clinic, was there for three anda half years and you sucked me
into bariatrics.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, big vacuum sound.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
No, so I obviously sought out bariatric surgery.
One of the MAs the medicalassistants in the clinic that
you were working at brought medown.
Yeah, because she knew Istarted the process prior.
Yeah, but then got pregnantbecause when she started feeling
good.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
Yeah, anyways, so I had bariatric surgery with you.
Yeah, I was your firstbariatric patient.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Obviously you've done surgery before.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
No, you were my first , and then Ever.
I can't.
Oh my God, I can't.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
And we meshed so well and you were so willing to hear
thoughts how you can make yourprogram better, and so you're
like you should be our bariatriccoordinator.
So you fought for that and Istarted doing that.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
I'm so glad you're doing it.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Our clinic didn't go great.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Oh, the clinic went great I should say yeah, the
clinic actually did go prettygreat, but the rest of
everything went differentdirections yes, so back in the
hospital.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
I've missed the hospital, but it's really hard
to come out of the treatingchronic instead of acute, where
patients are in the hospitalwith acute issues.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
And so I want to solve all their problems like oh
, what inhalers are you on?
Speaker 2 (04:35):
But I'm enjoying it.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
And you're giving me side tracks of doing this
podcast and still making adifference in the bariatric
community.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Yeah, and I think that's very reasonable, because
I think there's a lot of stuffthat's there for before and why
to do it and why it matters, butthere's not that much out there
for how you're supposed to livethe rest of your life with it.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
And it changes a lot.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Yeah, and you created , I think, a really good
motivation for me to getinvolved in this too, because I
think being on this side, on thesurgery side especially, you're
kind of like, oh, you do theprocedure and you definitely see
people a long time down theroad and things like that.
But the focus is really ongetting the one thing done, the
one surgery done, and getting tothat and really getting people
(05:16):
ready for that.
And then at the other sidethere's not a lot of.
I hate to say this, butmedicine is a business.
For anyone who doesn't know,and medicine makes money for a
lot of people a lot of differentways, and I would not say the
providers or the patientsbenefit from that necessarily
the most.
But right, and that's evidenced, I think, by the fact that
after surgery, the kind ofactual support and like long
(05:36):
term care and things like thatthat people need or would
benefit from, there's not reallya way to support that from a
medical system or bill for it orany of those things, which is
why it doesn't exist.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
And there are a lot of providers out there.
I think that practice like you,that they have the mentality of
I want to help the patientforever but, just like you, were
stuck in a atmosphere.
That is no get the patient inget the patient get it done.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
And then everyone moves on.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
And then everybody hated us.
Speaker 2 (06:08):
What do you would say so much that it's just like,
that's just how it is.
You know what I mean.
And if you want to createsomething different, then you
got to create your own.
So we're working on that.
Yes, we're going to.
We're going to keep everyoneinformed of how that's going.
But, yeah, we're trying tocreate some resources for people
.
But I really want to hear aboutyour story and your why you did
this and why you even thoughtabout it, because I think it's
(06:30):
really important for people tohear.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Yeah, absolutely so.
I hate talking about myself.
So bear with me, guys.
Really my wise were my kids.
I have three boys.
As I said, my 12 year old is soactive between baseball,
football, so active andobviously to be good at those
things you have to keeppracticing.
So me, as mom, I have topractice with him, playing with
(06:55):
my kids.
Honestly, there were days whereI dreaded it.
Yeah because I had no energy.
Yeah that broke my heart whenmy kid just wants to play trains
on the floor and I just don'thave the energy.
So that was definitely one ofmy wise.
So no energy, for sure I didhave sleep apnea, yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Unfortunately.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I think I still do most people that have sleep
apnea.
It can be treated with weightloss.
Unfortunately for me, I have avery high palate and a very
narrow mouth, so the sleep techthat I'm working with now is
like unfortunately, unless youget your anatomy changed you're
(07:38):
probably always gonna have itlike your mouth anatomy.
Yes, yes.
So I very, very thin mouth.
It's not why it doesn't fit onmy teeth clearly and my palate
is very high.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I got you, I got you.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
I'm gonna invest in myself.
Yeah, my 12 year old just isgetting done with his Invisal
lines Nice.
So I'm gonna invest in myselfand do that Get some new teeth.
Speaker 2 (08:01):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
No, I love that, I mean which is yeah, which is
hard to do, it was hard to doNow.
Now it's not so much.
I prioritize myself.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
So tell me what changed.
Why do you?
You do sound like you'reprioritizing yourself, and I
want to congratulate you forthat.
That's a big deal, yeah.
So what changed?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
Realizing that happy mom is happy family, Happy wife
happy life.
I like that.
I'm very, very much so likeit's not all about the woman you
need to be a man happy to youknow?
Yeah, so I have this spousehappy house.
I love that.
So, yeah, making time formyself makes me happier, gives
(08:44):
me more energy and more patienceto deal with three, sometimes
four, husband kids routingpeople.
But I also had high bloodpressure at.
As I said, I'm only 30 now, soI had high blood pressure before
I was even 30.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Like what the hell?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Well, and what is it?
So what does that feel?
Well, no, no, no, you can saywhat the hell's.
Okay, this is an approved,those approved language for this
.
I think Just don't go overboard.
No kidding, tell me what that'slike.
What does it like to take bloodpressure meds before 30?
Like, why, why do you saybefore 30?
It sounds like that's a bigdeal.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Because I feel like in your 20s you're still your
healthiest.
No-transcript, yeah, I justdon't know.
You're at your healthiest.
Your body hasn't disintegratedyet, or bad wording but I feel
like at 30.
Now again I'm working in thehospital.
I had to buy my first pair ofnice supportive shoes.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
Oh, good for you 30 is already going downhill.
Good for you, no, I love it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
But listen.
So I did the same thing.
My feet were hurting, yeah, no,I did the same thing.
I started finally wearingcompression socks and like my 30
year of residency and that'salso around the time that I
guess I was in my turning aroundto turn 30 or something like
that and so, yes, but it makes ahuge difference why we have
this whole resistance to likehelping ourselves and helping
(10:02):
our bodies.
It just it's so natural wedon't like to do it.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
And I feel like I have gained so much weight.
Had high blood pressure, sleepapnea no energy.
I'm not worth spending anyextra on myself.
I wasn't.
That was the mindset I was in,so whatever energy.
I had, I felt like I had to putinto my family.
So that mindset has definitelychanged.
Speaker 2 (10:26):
That's really interesting.
I don't know that, I've heardpeople talk about that, but like
your self worth changes or yourability to like invest in
yourself, changes at different,like different perceptions of
yourself, can you tell me moreabout that?
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Definitely good and bad perceptions.
I used to talk negatively aboutmyself all the time, like if me
and my husband were planning togo out, I would sometimes
cancel because I'm like I havenothing to wear, everything
looks horrible on me and so nowI don't even care.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
Honestly, no you've been sending me photos of you
and like dressing up and allkinds of ways.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
Yeah, I'm gonna be a little more mindful of who I'm
dressing up around, becauseapparently my husband's
coworkers were impressed andverbalized that I love it.
That's just a confidencebooster, not that I need to be
eye candy for anybody but myselfand my husband.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Well, sure.
But, sure it feels good.
It feels good.
Congrats, that's a big deal.
Yeah that's a big deal, that'sawesome, that's so great.
It does feel like there's a bigshift in people's energy, and I
don't mean like, oh, I feelvery energetic, but it feels
like people's energy aboutthemselves changes through this.
(11:45):
Can you tell me a little bitabout that?
Speaker 1 (11:47):
Yeah, they feel worth working on, spending time on.
So, yeah, like I've spent moretime, not only, sure, getting my
nails done, yeah, my hair done,shopping whatever, yeah, but
career wise, yeah, us as womenyeah let me just say that the
(12:07):
one reason, one of the reasons Iwent to college and made sure I
had a good job.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
So I never had to rely on a man.
I grew up in a household thatthat's how it was and a person
was trapped and I never wantedthat.
Yeah, so I've always had acareer, obviously, but my
husband's has always beenprioritized.
So now I'm just like no.
I'm going to work, you'restaying home.
(12:35):
Figure it out Like he would goa year without any PTO.
So now my career is worth ityeah.
To me now.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
I love it.
And it definitely isn't.
It's not a competition of likemy job versus your job or me
versus you, no, no.
But it's also you'reprioritizing yourself and what
you want out of, not just, youknow, in one aspect of your life
, but in, like, all of theseaspects of your life.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
Yeah, it was my turn to find, or continue to do stuff
that made me happy.
This makes me happy.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
Yeah, I love it.
I love it.
It's very energizing to hear ithonestly, because I think a lot
of people don't think aboutwhat kind of impact it's going
to make in ways you can'tmeasure, in ways you can't see
pounds or in ways you can't seenumbers necessarily, and it's a
lot more about how you feelrather than 100%.
Speaker 1 (13:26):
I always ask patients how are you feeling?
How?
Do you feel I don't really careabout your scale.
That's Maria.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
I don't care about it either that much though you
know that right Right.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Exactly.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Right so it's.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
How are you, how do you?
Speaker 2 (13:41):
feel Right, exactly.
So how did it feel going inlike before you knew what this
was going to be like and thingslike that?
You said one of the MAs broughtyou down.
So it sounds like there was,there was another force involved
, so what did it?
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, so what did it feel like before you got started
?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Gary is all get up Like.
I knew people that have hadbariatric surgery.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
So I wasn't afraid of the surgery itself.
Yeah, I was honestly moreafraid of how it would change me
how it would change myrelationship like the stuff that
people really don't look at.
Honestly, it felt like thelowest part of my life because
I'm sitting in a waiting room ina bariatric surgeon's office
waiting for an eval because Ican't stop gaining weight.
(14:24):
I gained 100 pounds in a yearafter my third son and so it
just felt not great.
But being in front of you younever felt made me feel less
worthy or that you were judgingme for being obese Like you.
Look at the big picture of whatelse is going on.
(14:47):
Sometimes it's not just eatingless and moving more.
And yeah, you never asked melike because you left it to the
dietitian, obviously but younever asked like are you eating
crap?
Are you moving Like you reallynever.
You're like let's get down tothe why this is happening.
(15:08):
You asked what do you want toachieve out of this?
And it definitely was not justto get skinny, because I'm not.
It was just to feel better.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Yeah, and that's yeah , that's beautiful.
I mean, like, do you think thatif it had been a different
experience, what if it had beenan experience that was a little
bit more focused on anythingelse, I guess, or numbers, or
just a different approach?
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Well, with that, I probably have an eating disorder
and I'd probably care about.
I'd be so hyper focused on whatI'm eating.
I'd be afraid of if I gainedfive pounds, going into an
office and having to tell mysurgeon I gained five pounds.
Oh yeah, that's why I wanted toshare you with the world
(15:51):
honestly, because so many peopleI see on Facebook are dealing
with I don't want to go to myappointment because I've gained
a little weight and they'regoing to get judged for that.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Yeah and yeah.
Yeah, it does break my heartactually, because we can do so
much better and we it doesn'teven matter, like it's not even
a matter of how you want to doit or it looking nice or not
looking nice or any of thosethings.
It's like backed by data.
That's the thing that kills me.
Yeah, like attaching weight tomorality or shame or really
(16:23):
anything, but like what are ourgoals here?
And kind of starting maybe withthe weight but then moving on
very quickly to things that arenot just the weight.
It's just like that's goodhealthcare, that's good science.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
See, that's what I loved about your workflow and
pathway was okay.
Here's your weight.
I don't give a crap what yourweight is from now until surgery
.
You're like I want you to makethose changes, and if you lose
weight in the process, that'sgreat.
But it's not.
Our goal is to lose this weight, so you made it.
So we focused on getting ourwater in, not going out to eat
(16:58):
as much.
You never came in and said howmuch weight did you lose?
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Because that's jarring for people and I think a
lot of people think like oh,isn't that motivating?
Doesn't Jill Michaels on, youknow?
Speaker 1 (17:07):
like greater.
No, it makes me scared to comein Exactly, and you like?
Oh, I gained five pounds.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Exactly, and I think people need to realize that that
, like it's not about ego, it'snot about like me good for
myself, or me figuring out howto make myself feel good, it
100% is about somebody elsegetting what they want out of it
.
Speaker 1 (17:28):
Period I love about you.
We've worked with people thatit's not the same.
But some people need that typeof person or type of surgeon.
They just need someone to belike no, you need to lose this
weight.
That's, it is what it is Right.
People need that.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Sure, not me.
Sure I love it, but I think,you know, because that kind of
judgment and that kind ofattitude exists in the world, so
much for us to reinforce thatin the clinic or in the anyway,
in any kind of like actual carewe're providing to people, just
seems really silly to me and itseems unnecessary, because if
you are looking for that, youwill find that in the world
(18:06):
around you there is no lack ofthat, but there's, like you said
, a huge lack of empathy,because we're dealing with human
beings, and we're dealing withhuman beings that, like you said
, that are sometimes feelinglike they're at the lowest point
in their life and not feelingso high.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
You don't know what people are going through?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
Not at all.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Honestly, I've looked at a lot of our patients and
dug in to get to know them andthen it's kind of like, oh, that
that makes sense.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Like it just makes sense of why you are the way you
are.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
And you, just most of our patients just need support.
They need a community.
That's me Like.
I have my husband.
Yeah, I have some friends, butthey don't understand.
Yeah, that's what people need.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
I feel like right, that's what like binge eating
comes in Is.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
people are struggling .
Speaker 2 (18:54):
Right, right, and don't necessarily have it all in
it, but I like to help has alot to do with this.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (18:59):
And, to be honest with you, like I relate to this
to end of this episode about you.
I promise I love how we canpeople can hear us connect.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
We are completely and you will say, no, I know, but
we're completely different.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
Yeah, no, it's true.
But we share common struggles100% because I share the binge
eating disorder and all of that.
Like that is an active part ofmy life and always will be.
I understand for me, forinstance, when it's kind of a
two way street or like a feedforward mechanism there too,
where once it gets activated,once it gets triggered by
(19:32):
something, it's hard for me togo to anyone for help and it's
easier to isolate.
And isolation then makes itmore reinforced and with it
being more reinforced then Ifeel the more of the need to
isolate and so on.
And I think a lot of people canreally relate to that sounds
like a lot of folks just period,and not even people that we're
seeing or people that weretreating or anything like that.
(19:53):
It's just a lot of people outthere can really relate to.
I am struggling for some reasonand then I'm making it even
worse on myself because I'misolating and not getting help
and I know I should be or I knowI could be, but it's so hard
and embarrassing and tough andall those things and everyone
relates to that Because of whatpeople think of bariatric
surgery.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
It's embarrassing and I know that's why a lot of
people do not step foot in abariatric surgery office,
because they're afraid of thejudgment.
I actually saw a post the otherday in a Facebook group.
I just wanted to cry for her.
She had surgery, lost weight,she goes to the gym all the time
and this very attractive mancame up to her and was talking
(20:36):
to her and knew she lost a lotof weight and was like looking
to hang out and all that.
Somehow they got on the topicof losing weight and he's like
how'd you do it?
What'd you do?
And she's like I had bariatricsurgery and she said that his
face just went blank and hestarted treating her differently
.
And she even stuck up forherself and said I'm here at the
(21:01):
gym Five days, five, six days aweek.
I run eight miles like she'sdoing all the things.
Why are we getting judged for ajumpstart or a tool when she's
doing all the work?
She's doing all the same thingsyou are doing.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yeah, that was my mind, because you hit on this
woman.
Clearly you think she'sattractive and she's literally
at the gym doing the thing thatyou are to, and then, all of a
sudden, we judge people.
It's literally like judgingsomeone for taking a blood
pressure medication to get theirblood pressure in check, the
amount of and nobody hasjudgment for that.
No, we shouldn't have judgmentfor this either.
It's like we're using a medicalprocedure.
(21:38):
We're using a medical treatmentfor a medical thing.
What on earth can we get ourheads out of our butts on this
one?
Possibly Like as a society butno, you're right Like this is
yes, I get very, very riled upabout this because it is medical
care.
It is medical care that works.
Clearly, it works.
If the person's at the gym andjoined their life and they're
(22:00):
getting what they want out of it, it worked.
That's the thing to celebrateand people getting weird about
it or having thoughts.
You can have all the thoughtsin the world about it, but if
you're not willing to geteducated about it and change
those thoughts, ultimatelythat's just a form of
discrimination.
Yeah, it's just a form ofwanting to keep yourself in the
dark and hurt other people A lotof people don't tell people
(22:23):
they have bariatric surgery.
Right.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Meanwhile I'm over here like.
So, joe, I'm like if I havebariatric surgery I won't fight.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
But look at how awesome that is, though, because
I know this process has notbeen straightforward for you.
I know it's not been easy.
I know you did a ton ofpreparation and I actually want
to know about that a lot more,but I'm so proud of you for
talking about it, because thathelps other people realize they
could do it too, and, ultimately, I think it moves the needle,
with people being willing totalk about it and willing to
(22:52):
understand that this can bereally helpful and really
awesome, yeah.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I'm an open book for everybody, honestly, so tell me
what it is.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
Can you tell me, to me, how you prepared?
Speaker 1 (23:04):
So I had to have at least six months worth of
appointments before havingsurgery due to my insurance.
I had an hour drive to and fromwork.
So an hour each way, so twohours a day, five days a week.
I listened to all the YouTubevideos, I listened to all the
(23:24):
books on Audible, I read all thearticles, listen to people's
journeys, all the things.
So I prepared.
I knew a lot.
You're still learning, likethere's so much that we don't
know.
So I prepared a lot.
I knew a lot.
I wanted to know what I wasgetting into, especially with
the mental health issues that myfamily and myself with and
(23:49):
addictions and stuff like that.
I wanted to make sure I knewhow to handle that.
Yeah, and I know how to handleit.
Nope, there's nothing out thereabout it.
There's nothing out there aboutall the hard things.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
Yeah, no kidding, because I think it's either.
I mean, we just we have a toughtime talking about difficult
things, period.
And you're right, there's not alot out there about what to do
when you're struggling, becauseit's not a matter of when for
something, and that's not unlikeanything else that's worth
doing.
Right, how about gettingsupport from family and friends,
(24:25):
because you've mentioned acouple of times that even now,
it's sometimes tough to relateto people who haven't gone
through this, so can you tell mea little bit more about that?
Speaker 1 (24:32):
So my husband's always been supported.
I've always been an open bookwith him prior to surgery.
I'm like, if you ever see megoing back into bad habits, I
want you to be open, honest withme.
If you ever see me drinkingmore than I would, you need to
be honest with me because I havethose.
What are they called?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Tendencies towards that.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Not tendencies, but I have those risk factors.
Okay, got it.
Yes, okay.
So my mental health providersaid I would never drink a day
after surgery honestly.
But drinking has never been mything, but I made sure that my
husband would be open and honestabout that.
Got it.
My husband has always beensupportive.
He's still supportive becausewhen I had low iron, still have
(25:15):
low iron, so tired, and so heknew when I needed a nap I
needed a nap.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Right.
Speaker 1 (25:23):
But he's also like have you taken your vitamins?
If you're not taking yourvitamins, I almost don't feel
bad for you.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You don't deserve this kitty.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
So, yeah, honestly, yeah, if he saw me continuing to
be tired, not taking myvitamins, honestly, he probably
wouldn't be as supportive.
He'd probably be like againdon't even feel bad for you.
So he's very supportive, veryopen and honest.
I don't have a lot of family.
I'm pretty much estranged frommy parents.
My other family lives far away.
Actually, nobody in my familyknew I was having surgery,
(25:56):
except I did tell my grandma theday prior and she was a little
mad at me, But-.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Wait what?
Was she mad at you because youhadn't told her, or was she mad
at you for doing it, or both?
Speaker 1 (26:05):
No, she was mad at me because I didn't tell her.
We actually have one of myaunt's best friends, husbands,
who comes to all of ourthanksgivings when we did do
Thanksgiving, had bariatricsurgery too, and she recognized
that it could do the same thing.
She's like oh, this is the samesurgery as him, okay, okay, no,
(26:28):
yeah, she was just mad that Ididn't tell her.
But I didn't want the judgment,not that I think she would
judge me, I just don't want yourcomments.
So I really didn't tell a lotof people, honestly, even some
of my closest friends there'sreasons for that, just the
judgment.
And yeah, I still struggle withhaving that support group
Because, even though people saythey're supportive, they don't
(26:49):
know how to support you and youdon't want to have to and,
honestly, you can't tell peoplehow to support you, right.
So that's where a community, abariatric community, would be
honestly helpful for a lot ofpeople and myself.
So, again, doing this selfishly.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Selfishly.
Oh, that's good, that's muddy.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I want a community.
I want people that in apositive community.
I don't want to post on aFacebook group and be like, oh,
I gained five pounds, and peoplejust being like what are you
doing wrong?
Are you drinking your water?
Are you eating enough protein?
Blah blah blah.
So I want a community that ispositive and looks at the big
picture, that it's not alwayseat less, move more.
(27:32):
I have the support of myhusband.
My 12 year old even supports melike mom.
Let's go for a run.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
Yes, he does.
Yeah yes, he does.
He's incredible.
Yeah, he's incredible he is.
He's been teaching me how touse all this.
Yeah, you've gone from likenone of the technology to being
like tech queen.
Look at this AI thing we'redoing with our podcasts and,
honestly, what a cooltransformation to I feel like,
do this whole process likeanything that comes your way.
(27:58):
You're like bam, bam, I'llfigure it out, I'm going to do
this and it is the key to go upto people and figure it out 100%
Like.
I wish you never, ever stoppeddoing that, because that's so
cool to watch You've given memore confidence to be able to do
it too.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
One before it was just.
You know, I had all these ideasand everything, but I always
thought to myself, like they'renot good enough, I'm not good
enough, like nobody says to meI'm a, make you listen to me,
now You're good enough, tammy,you're not even good enough.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
You're like the best, but honestly you might like.
I think a lot of people reallydownplay themselves and weight
and things like that causespeople to sort of shrink out of
themselves sometimes and it's solike it sucks because I feel
like it's not valid, it's notlike right, any of those things.
And I don't mean to say I'm nottrying to invalidate anyone
(28:47):
that feels that way, not at all.
What I mean.
What I mean is like I hate thatthat people feel that way and I
hate that people feel likethat's in society, like that we
are allowed to do that to people.
I think it's terrible.
You've said that this has had alot of emotional and
psychological impacts on you.
Would you mind talking aboutsome of that?
Speaker 1 (29:08):
Yeah, so I can no longer blame any of my issues on
weight.
I can't blame relationships onmy weight.
I can't like it all just comesout.
I feel like I feel like we areable to mask some of the mental
health issues that we've madewhatever had or have with eating
(29:29):
or stuff like that.
And now you can't do thatbecause I don't want to go out
drinking.
I don't want to spend all mymoney, so now it's all coming
like I have to deal with itInteresting.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (29:42):
So a lot of anxiety and depression has come out,
just in different ways.
It's not so much on my looksanymore, it's now honestly
tackling the past and why I wasthe I was prior to certainly
like why was I poor, insecure,why, just why?
(30:02):
Why was that a mean person?
I used to be a mean person andnow looking back is because of
the insecurities.
I didn't want any attention onmyself.
So now I honestly look atpeople that are being jerks to
other people and I'm just likethat's not cute, it's not.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
And it's coming from a place of hurt for a lot of
people.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
often, it is, it is.
So, that's where I look deeperand try to have compassion for
cranky people.
Love it Honestly.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
You become the crank whisperer.
That actually sounds like aporn name.
That's not a good that's.
Speaker 1 (30:39):
We shouldn't know, right, we may want to do that
out, so now my emotionalmaturity has been heightened,
has gotten more mature and morein tune with my emotions and all
of that, and I have morepatience and all of that.
And that has changed somerelationships, including my
(31:00):
husband, because he's not intothe emotions.
Speaker 2 (31:05):
What guy is?
And I know, you do catch therare bird sometimes, but they
usually get beaten up for it toomany times and then they, they,
absolutely.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
Absolutely so.
I think once you, once peoplestop asking all their mental
health issues with eating orunhealthy habits, you are forced
to reckon yeah Head on.
Yeah, and that can be superdamaging.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Has it been easy for you to find, like mental health
resources afterwards or to dealwith it?
I know you, you see someone forthat and that's a really,
obviously a really great way todo it.
But outside of that, oractually just tell me about your
experience with that how do youdeal with it?
Speaker 1 (31:44):
I'm just lucky.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
Because our mental health provider that we have for
our program specializes inchildhood trauma yes, d up like
that, and I feel like most ofour patients, or most bariatric
patients, do have some sort ofchildhood trauma or past PTSD,
stuff like that.
So finding someone thatspecializes in that is key and,
(32:10):
just like your surgeon, justlike any health provider, if you
aren't getting what you needout of them, find someone else.
Unfortunately, sometimesthey're harder to come by, yes,
and you may have to search a lotand, unfortunately, some
insurances.
It's hard to do that Becauseactually our mental health
provider is going out on her ownand is only going to be
(32:33):
covering Blue Cross Blue Shield.
I don't have Blue Cross BlueShield, so I will have to pay
more out of pocket and so mentalhealth is not covered as well
as it should be.
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Right.
Actually, a lot of this stuffisn't.
I feel like ideally we wouldhave a lot of support with like
nutrition long term and mentalhealth long term, and it
wouldn't just be some peoplegetting that, it would be
everyone.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Dietitian appointments don't even get
covered by 90% of insurance.
Speaker 2 (32:59):
No, they don't.
Which is bananas?
Because they're baloney.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
Yeah, no kidding Baloney.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Especially because they're required.
That's the part that kills me.
Like you were saying, you hadsix months of required visits
and those visits includerequired dietary visits but
aren't covered by insurance,exactly Like how crazy that is,
but it is not uncommon.
That's a really common featureof a lot of these plans that
cover us.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Yay insurance.
Speaker 2 (33:24):
Insurance could be better, a lot better.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Very much so.
I am very blessed with goodinsurance.
That's why I don't want tochange, but it still sucks.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
I gotcha, I gotcha.
Can you tell me a little bitabout?
I know a lot of folks wonderwhat the actual processes of
going through surgery andrecovering after surgery and
sort of that like true logisticsof it.
Can you tell me a little bitabout what that was like?
Speaker 1 (33:48):
So obviously depending on your insurance and
a program's requirement.
Most people need to be in aprogram three to six months.
During that time, you areseeing a dietitian.
Make sure you are on the roadof making good choices, changing
those things you need to change, getting labs in an EKG, making
sure you're healthy to havesurgery, making sure you're
(34:09):
mentally stable to have surgery.
And there's been patients thatwe've had to say not at this
time, not at this time, but wecan get there.
We can get there and they justneeded those resources.
I do want to say a lot ofpeople think that they're afraid
that their anxiety anddepression are going to get them
rejected for surgery.
(34:30):
Yeah, no, they are looking atdeep rooted issues.
Yes, like, are you going to bea harm to yourself, are you
going to be a harm to others,kind of thing.
So don't stress out about thatpart.
Yes, just be open and honest,because those providers can
potentially help you withresources after surgery and so
if you're open about thoseresources, they'll be like yeah,
(34:53):
they're fine, they're in tunewith their mental health, kind
of thing.
Speaker 2 (34:58):
In fact, anxiety and depression can be an indication
for meaning, like it can be areason for you to get bariatric
surgery or bariatric care ingeneral.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
So yeah, you're absolutely right, yeah the
mental health is not to be likeoh yeah, they have anxiety and
depression and we can't have it.
No, it's looking for reallylike unhealthy way of dealing
with stress alcohol, drop allthe things that would be
detrimental to someone, and thena lot of programs require a
(35:26):
scope.
I got out of that.
Now that I'm educated, I almostwish I did.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah right.
Speaker 1 (35:31):
The biggest thing is testing.
One of the things is testingfor that H-Pylori.
If I would have known you aregoing in there to make sure all
structures are good and it justmakes surgeries safer because
you know what you're gettinginto I would have done it.
I would have done it.
There's a reason for thosethings.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
There's a reason for everything and, you're right,
those aren't required foreveryone, but I do.
I mean, as a general rule inour program we do, and the
reason why is because it justhelps you get the lay of the
land and it helps things be alittle bit safer.
But I know people are scared ofprocedures, people are scared
of having to go under anesthesia, people are scared of risk and
that's super fair Time off work,the cost, I mean.
(36:11):
There are real reasons thatpeople can choose not to do
things and real concerns thatpeople have.
So, you're right, talk withyour people, talk with whoever's
taking care of you and say isthis something I really need?
Is it not?
Is it going to be extra Time,cost, risk, those kinds of
things?
Because, you're right,sometimes it's a discussion
rather than a mandate.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Right, right, and preoperatively, our preop diet
was not liquid, thank goodness Alot of programs I think still
are but our liver shrinking dietincluded food, all food, a
little bit of food, but stillfood.
Oh yeah, because I feel I seeso many posts on Facebook of
(36:53):
people like I can't do this.
This is torture and I honestlythink it is.
To be honest, I agree, and Ijust did the one day preop
liquids and then the week after,liquids, which isn't even as
hard as people think, becauseyou struggle just to sip a thing
of water.
You don't want to eat anything.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Yeah, we beat you up pretty good.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Preoperatively I didn't really have a whole lot
of pain.
Luckily you did my surgery withthe robot, Though it just was
more precise and whatnot.
So I really didn't have a lotof pain afterwards.
It was just getting the fluidsin, especially in health care.
I knew I had to get those undercontrol before I went back to
work, but otherwise it's beengood.
(37:39):
You learn foods that don't likeyou and you learn the hard way
of ooh, it's not too much,because by the time you realize
you ate too much it is way toolate.
But still dealing with stuffday to day because mental health
is still a thing, Relationshipproblems are still a thing in
(38:00):
being worked through, I thinkthis just has forced me to dig
into the demon.
Speaker 2 (38:04):
Honestly, that's hard because I don't think
everyone's ready for that andpeople wonder why it takes some
time especially in some casesmore than others to get to
surgery, because everyone's like, what's the big deal?
It's a surgery that's prettysafe and all this stuff and yeah
, it's not the surgery itself,it's the afterwards.
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (38:23):
When you start seeing weight fall off you, but now
you have this loose skin.
It messes with your mind.
There's a lot of things thatmess with your mind and you
still feel super big.
Yeah, it's a lot of mental.
Speaker 2 (38:39):
Maybe it's more mental.
Speaker 1 (38:42):
Wait more.
Speaker 2 (38:42):
Yeah, yeah, I think you're right.
I think you're right.
I'm just really grateful thatyou are being honest about
things and that you talk abouthow challenging some of these
things are, because I reallythink a lot of people want to
know what they're getting into.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
That's what I wanted, but I couldn't find it.
Speaker 2 (39:02):
But you couldn't find , yeah, and honestly, there's
only so much that anyone elsecan share with you if they
haven't gone through the processthemselves.
Even if they have, maybe theirexperience wasn't the same.
So it takes a lot of voices, itdoesn't.
Speaker 1 (39:16):
Yes, it takes a lot of voices, and that's why I want
people coming on here sharingtheir experiences, because
everybody's is different.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Right, and everyone's going to have an experience
that maybe resonates withsomeone if we get enough voices
talking about it.
Then this whole building acommunity, the whole idea is.
You know, actually I went tosomething yesterday where I met
a guy.
We were both working on aproject and we were both new to
each other and we were standingin the lobby chatting and then
bouncing ideas off of each other.
(39:44):
We had such a greatconversation and it's that we
want to create.
It's that kind of feeling oflike you get to find your people
and you get to haveconversations that are exciting
and interesting and maybe youwouldn't be able to have with
other people because you're allin it together and you get to
share experiences and find yourbuddy, find your.
Speaker 1 (40:02):
But I also think that we're a little unique, that
look, I know you don't throwyour title out there ever.
Honestly, you're not betterthan anybody.
That's your mentality,obviously, and I love it.
But what makes us a littledifferent is we have a surgeon
in our community that can talkabout this stuff that isn't
(40:22):
talked about, and you arescience, like facts, not just.
This is what my surgeon told me.
This is what my surgeon told me.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
You're right, you're wrong, yeah there's a lot more
to it than that and, believe me,I'm never going to say you know
this, the surgeon doesn't know,or the surgeon is right or the
surgeon is wrong, becausethere's a diversity of reasons
behind why people do certainthings and oftentimes we don't
have a totally clear answer.
So there's going to be variety.
But actually, let's go back toyou.
So I want to talk about some ofthe accomplishments and
(40:53):
challenges.
You've mentioned some of themental ones.
What about some others, likewith your family or with friends
, or just you in general?
What are you?
How's life now?
Speaker 1 (41:03):
It's pretty good.
I have the energy to play withthese who again?
Yeah, I went on a rollercoaster, so I did.
I have in the past.
Yeah, but that was anotherreason for looking into
bariatric surgery is so everyyear we go to adventure land,
which is like a six flags for myhusband's job.
(41:25):
They have to go every year.
I got on a roller coaster andit wouldn't shut.
My son's like wait, why did youget off?
Heartbreaking?
So I went on a roller coaster,we went.
I even drug him on some what Ilove it.
Get on here, not risk taking.
Mom, bring her back.
Look at you.
Speaker 2 (41:46):
Look at you.
Speaker 1 (41:48):
Yeah, but I have the energy to play with my kids, I
have the energy to go out and dothings.
My husband even said he wasn'tready for all the energy.
Like usually, I'm like, no, Idon't really want to go out, and
now I'm like let's go out.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
Let's do it.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Yeah, I love honestly , we've heard that a lot, or
like, I've definitely heard thata lot of people that, like one,
the one person who went throughit is now running circles
around the other.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
So I think my husband's managing that.
Speaker 2 (42:15):
You've become a hooligan.
Look at you, you've become oneof the three.
Can't blame those kids.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
I just I don't even know how to explain how Good
things have changed.
I'm more confident confidentwith people, I should say.
I am still very insecure aboutmy body because there's loose
skin.
There is not, but I'm moreconfident.
Yeah, I am no longer going intoa room seeing if I'm the
(42:46):
biggest person in the room.
Instead, I go into a roomBecause I usually know who will
be there.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
And I'm like which person am I going to go up to to
talk about my thoughts?
My new CEO during orientation?
I'm like so what are yourthoughts on a very active
program?
Yeah, I would have never donethat.
Nope, nope, nope.
And he's like let's talk.
Yeah, nobody goes up to theirCEO their first week and be like
(43:16):
hey, how about this?
Speaker 2 (43:17):
Right, well, maybe they do, but but yeah, that's.
I think that's so incrediblebecause it's not like you have a
voice.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
It's not something we talk about.
It's not something like wealways talk about scale our
clothes.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Right, right.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Nobody talks about being able to walk up to a very
important person and have aconversation with them.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
And be that we're equal and to be that very
important person, to like thinkof themselves as that very
important person.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
We're not there yet.
Okay, okay, we're getting there.
Speaker 2 (43:49):
Work in progress, work in progress, all right,
right.
Well, tammy, I am so amazed byyou.
I'm inspired by you, and Ithink you serve to create
something on your back that isgoing to be really, really
helpful and great for otherpeople too.
You're building an entirecommunity out of your experience
.
That's pretty amazing.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
I really, really do hope so.
Speaker 2 (44:09):
You are that very important person.
Get that out of your headplease.
Okay, okay, got it I'll putthat down for my homework.
I love it.
Just crack it open, get it outof there and then move along.
Yes, yes, we'd love to heareveryone's thoughts on today.
If people want to share theirexperiences in going through
bariatric surgery and afterwardsand all the changes they've
undergone, we'd love to hearabout that and your questions,
(44:31):
and we're so thankful thatyou're with us.
So thanks for joining.
Speaker 1 (44:34):
Yes, go ahead and follow us, and we'll see you
next time.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
Bye beautiful, oh, bye lovely.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.