September 7, 2022 • 70 mins
Lana May runs her own massage business. She has an Only Fans page. She’s a single mom. And she rocks it all.
Join us as we cover these topics and more:
Going through with the wedding
Freedom through posing
Only Fans
-Single mom
-Overcoming resistance
-Embracing it
Running her own business
Her pursuit of self-care
Kyle Cease
Put on your chill and come listen
Lana’s screen names.
Only Fans: thelanamay
IG; thelanamay
FB: Lana May
Come join me on IG:
michaelvieyraphotography
Join me on IG:
michaelvieyraphotography
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:08):
Welcome to courage under the stars with Michael
Vieyra. That's me, I am MichaelVieyra. Here I speak off the
cuff with people that I findinteresting, where you're going
to sit in a darkened room andjust allowing you to eavesdrop.
I tell my guests, no politics,no religion, but otherwise, I
don't care what we talk about aslong as it comes from the heart.
(00:28):
I hope even just a small part ofit resonates with you. Some of
it will, some of it won't. Andthat's okay. But I'm just glad
you're here. I really do loveall of you. And thanks for
coming. Let's get this thingstarted. Hello. Welcome to
today's episode, our guest todayis Alana Mae, she has a
(00:48):
beautiful soul who has a onlyfans page, which we will be
talking about at length today.
It will carry adult tones to itexplicitly might say. So be
aware of that. And if that isnot your cup of tea, you have
been warned up front. Thanksagain. And welcome to courage
under the stars with MichaelVieyra. I'll tell you what the
one thing I love about you iswhen I met you 10 years ago,
(01:14):
whatever it was fuck, right? Iwas like, Okay, this girl's a
little standoffish. She's gother thing going on. Whatever it
is, I'm just here to do my work.
I'm a photographer. I'll takepictures done and done. But now,
(01:35):
Ilana, I don't know what'schanged, but you have love in
your heart. And you make it easyto want to engage with you.
Please, please, please tell mewhat's changed.
Thank you. First of all. It wasjust such a journey. It was such
(01:57):
a journey. You know, I was whenI met you, I was a few years
after my divorce. And God, it'sbeen such a roller coaster.
Because, you know, it was I wasin a really bad relationship
(02:18):
where my self esteem and justyou know, my feminine power was
so destroyed. It wasso because he was domineering.
Yes, it was just very, you know,toxic relationship in a lot of
ways. But we met when I wasreally young 17 You were
(02:39):
together for a long time, verylong time. You know, and it
started from my father, he was,you know, I love my dad, we have
a pretty good relationship now.
But back in a day, you know, hewas very, you know, come from a
Russian family. And he was verymuch controlling, like, you
know, so he was living with himwas really tough. So I just
(03:01):
wanted to get out of the houseas soon as possible. So the
first guy the first opportunity,and I mean, like, he was a great
guy, and he was consistent. Hewas there for me, he made me
feel safe. I was like, Let's goat 19. I was, you know, at 19. I
was already almost, I wasengaged. Did you
(03:23):
care about him? Or was it allabout just getting out of the
fucking house?
You know what I did care abouthim. But I think what pushed me
to do it faster, was to get outof the house. Sure. For sure. I,
you know, I fell in love withhim. Eventually, and it was I
(03:46):
knew it wasn't a goodrelationship because of 19. We
had a big fight and a house andour neighbors called the cops.
Yeah. So for domestic abuse. Andso the cops came to me. I was 19
years old. And they asked me doyou want us to arrest him? And I
(04:13):
said, No, because our weddingwas going to be in two months. I
was like, fuck, so if I do this,I go back to my dad. And out of
two evils, but lesser one. So Isaid no.
And what a horrible positionto be in and yeah, I say you're
in the States or Russia. No, itwas here and Philadelphia
(04:35):
actually. And the fucked upthing is was my parents were
there they came. I called them Ithink to for them to come when
the police were there. Yeah. AndI remember my dad didn't say
anything. He didn't really stickup for me. And my mom didn't
(04:56):
really stick up for me becausethey We're so worried. There's
so many guests invited. We hadour wedding in New York, and
there's so many guests invited.
Yeah. And the thought of like,the embarrassment, what people
are going to say, if we don't gothrough the wedding was so much
(05:18):
more important than the actualwell being of their daughter.
Is that what you meant when yousaid my parents didn't stick up
for me? Or what did you mean bythat?
Yeah, I feel like, you know,everything I was taught growing
up that you keep your dirtylaundry. In the home. Yeah, you
(05:44):
don't talk about any issues. Sowe never did. It was kind of
like a big no, no. So I grew upwith, you know, everything has
to be Hush, hush. You can't talkabout anything. People can no
you have to be you know, acertain way like front. Exactly
(06:04):
like what people think of you assuch a dominating, dominating
reason for everything. Yeah. Itwas almost crippling. I don't
like it. Yeah, I didn't either.
But, you know, it took me a verylong time to get where I am now.
(06:27):
And it's, like I said, it's beena journey. So when I met you
coming back to what you said,which now we got, like four
stories going on, and I don'teven care. But yes. If you have
something to say about that,please
tell me. So when I met you, along time ago, it was my first
(06:48):
photo shoot. No, it wasn'tactually. My first one. I want
to say, I don't, I think it wasbefore I met you. I did a nude
photo shoot through my agent andthrow my manager and it was for
(07:08):
photo gallery for a photo book.
Okay. It was a very tastefulphotoshoot. But so though dish,
and he asked me like, hey, howdo you feel about going to this
audition? I don't know how muchbe like maybe $1,000. And for
me, it was like, Wow, that'samazing. And so I said, Yeah,
let's do it. So the audition wasat an office is a huge actually.
(07:35):
It was like a huge actually likea conference room. There was 10
people. They gave me a rope andsaid go in a bathroom. Come out.
This rope yourself is thehighest side this rope? Yes.
Turn around naked. Put the ropeback.
(07:59):
Go back in the room. Yeah.
It was the most liberatingfucking thing ever. I couldn't
get it. It was so amazing. I washigh. Yeah. And then I found out
I booked it. Okay, so when I goton the set, it was 100 people
(08:20):
set was a lot of people. Yeah.
So there was a lot of semi nudemodels, nude models. And I feel
like people who are dressed upso it was very like lingerie,
but it was very classy. It waslike made in like almost like
the 50s set. So mine was toplessand bottomless. totally new, but
(08:43):
close, but just no bra. And noone door. But like jewelry
lingerie, just like you know.
You can see your your privates.
Yeah, but there was jewelry andother items. zactly got it.
And I met so many incrediblemodels, like nude models. And I
(09:07):
just for the first time in mylife. I saw so much freedom in
being naked. Yeah. And being notobjectified. Because I was
taught that first of all, it'sshameful to be new to have sex
before marriage. All of that.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Imean, let alone let anybody see
you naked. That's like, you goto hell. Like that's like your
(09:29):
whore for sure. You're like,damaged. You don't even go to
purgatory. You go straight todone. You're done. You're done.
Yeah. And so for the first timeand there was a set of you know,
a professional set, but thedirector would like it was And
everybody looked into our eyeslike nobody looked anywhere
else. Nobody made us feeluncomfortable. Crazy. That's
(09:52):
awesome. Amazing. Yeah, I wasjust like, holy fuck what
happened? I wouldn't aren't thatgood?
How old were you?
I feel like I was maybe 30.
Yeah.
So you'd never felt any sort offreedom like that before?
(10:14):
Never. So it was like with mymanager, kind of like, let's do
this, you know, it's gonna becool, whatever. And we did it.
But it was such a hush hush. Ididn't tell anybody. I think I
told my mom and she was kind ofokay with it. Like, I was seeing
a guy. And he said to me, I toldhim about it. And he said, If
(10:38):
you don't, if you don't do it,I'll pay you what they pay. You
just don't do it.
Got it. He didn't want it tohappen. No. He was that willing
to? This is what I'm willing todo about it. Yeah. So what did
you say?
I said, No. I'm gonna do it.
Okay. And I did it. And it wasamazing. I never showed it to
(10:58):
anybody. When the final productcame out, I didn't show it to
anybody. It was just me and mymanager. Because it was almost
like this dark secret. Okay, youknow, because I was still so
there was so much shame aboutsexual expression. And
(11:21):
sexuality.
Did you have immediate regretfor doing it? No, never. It was
just, I don't want any judgmentfrom this.
I don't want any judgment.
Exactly. I didn't want anyjudgment. So has anybody seen
it? Ever? No. I think my sistermaybe I showed her. That was it.
(11:43):
And, and it was a beautiful,beautiful photoshoot. Beautiful
photos.
I love to hear you say that,that's awesome. That you can at
least attach to that feeling.
Amazing was one of the bestmoments.
Okay, so looks like we've got alot of places to talk about.
(12:07):
Let's let us let's touch on howthat took you to where you are
now. Why are you in such abetter place in your soul?
So my whole you know, my wholelife. I was kind of, since I was
a teenager, I was always verysexual. For even for a teenager,
(12:28):
I was always reading. You know,like, in Russia, we had these
like, newspapers about just likecrime. And I remember there was
a little section of like sex,okay, like, even like rape, or
even like anything to do withsex. At that time. I think it
was just like anything thathappened, you know, rape or
(12:50):
whatever. I was news updates.
Yeah. And that was the onlysexual kind of information that
I could get. Yeah. You know,that was and I remember being so
curious about just like sex. AndI remember having crushes on my
women teachers, and I couldn'ttell anybody. Okay, because it
(13:11):
was just such a taboo,especially in Russia. Yeah.
How old were you?
I want to say I was 789.
So seven, eight or nine, man,that's the age to find a crush
on a teacher.
Yes. In fact, I got in troublewhen I was seven or eight. And
(13:35):
remember, it wasn't a firstgrade and Russia. Yeah. And I
remember we, we mean, threeother girls used to hide in the
closet in the break, and used totouch each other, like take
panties off and used to toucheach other. And it was like the
(13:59):
highlight of my life. Sure. Atthat age. Yeah. But it was such
a dark secret. We knew ifanybody find out, we're dead.
And one time the teacher opensthe fucking door shit. The next
thing I know my parents arecalled in. Everybody's parents
are called in. Yeah. And then myfather finds out. And of that as
(14:27):
a seven or eight year old child,a girl. He was so disappointed
in me. And he was so just like,I don't know if it was. No, it
wasn't discussed that he wasjust so ashamed of me that he
didn't even hug me. Or heignored me which felt like for a
(14:50):
month. I don't know how long itwas but to me, I would say my
childhood you know who they saylike what time what age your
childhood It ends like, I know,that's when my childhood ended.
At the age of eight. Yeah, whatI felt. There's definitely
something wrong with me. I'mtotally damaged.
(15:12):
Wait, at that point. Yourthought was, I'm damaged?
Yes. I'm a sexual like, I didn'teven know what that was. I just
thought there's like, I'm, Iremember feeling just I did
something so wrong.
All based on how everybody elsereacted. Yeah, no, no,
no, no, no, I felt amazing. Youknow, I felt amazing. And I just
(15:36):
felt that I committed a crime.
Yeah. And, you know, when we'rekids, we want our parents love.
What do we want? We want lovefrom parents.
The punishments other than theirlooks must have been so harsh.
To make you carry this feelingof doing something so wrong.
(15:57):
Yeah. What were theconsequences?
Consequences was from from whatI remember, it was my I don't
remember my mom do anythingabout it was more my dad. Yeah,
he was just not acknowledgingme. Not I tried to give him a
(16:17):
hug, he would turn me down. I'msorry. And it was just, you
know, just rejection that like,cruel. That seemed like a very
cruel rejection of your father.
That's harsher than anythingthat the school could have done.
100%.
(16:38):
How? Knowing hearing this storynow, for the first time, you've
obviously carried it with you.
So how do you feel now aboutthat? The way your dad reacted?
You know, I there's a lot ofanger when I was going through,
you know, when I was workingthrough that, I really had a lot
(17:00):
of anger towards my dad, for avery long time. A lot of
resentment, a lot of anger. Myteenage years are awful, because
he hated my dad, you know. Butlike, I know, in those teenage
years why you hated him ordidn't know, you just hated him.
I just we just never got along.
Yeah, it was just really tough.
(17:21):
But now looking back, you know,it was based off that.
Yes. Because I feel like Iwanted to kind of because it was
so shameful. And I haven't dealtwith it yet. I just wanted to
bury that, you know, kind oflike, somewhere deep down. I
don't want to go there. Neverhappened. Nobody needs to know,
it almost has to be like that.
Because it's so such a bag ofworms to open up. Absolutely. I
(17:42):
can imagine you've you stillprobably have never talked to
him about it.
I haven't. No, I've spoken to mymom about it. And that's another
thing. I've talked to my dadabout a lot of things and he's
apologized about a lot ofthings. Okay. Yeah. He, he
basically said, like, look,that's the best I I knew how to
(18:05):
be how to do answer. Yeah. Andand, you know, he's, I know, my
dad loved me. Yeah. And he, Iknow, he did his best. You know,
I just being a parent myself.
Now. I do different. You know,I, I'm, we're very sex positive
in our house. You know? It'slike, your daughter is a
(18:31):
teenager. She's 17. Yeah. Well,she knows how I struggled. Yeah.
And she knows she knows about,you know, I've only fans. And
she, she knows about it. Atfirst, she was very kind of
vocal about it. She doesn't likethat. So it was a journey,
because she was old enough wherewe could have a conversation.
(18:53):
And I could explain to her thatit's my body, an adult, and I
get to do what I want. And Iwant and I sat her down and
said, What are your concerns?
What are your objections? Whydon't you like it? What and she
was able to tell me what herfears were, you know, like, she
(19:16):
didn't want boys in her schoolto tease her. Because she
already blocked so many peoplefrom my social medium. And I
kind of I totally, you know, Iunderstood that it's a it's a
legit reason and concern. And wetalked about it and we just kind
of work through some of thethings and I said, Sasha, her
(19:40):
name is Sasha. And I said, themore you embrace that within me
within yourself, the more itwon't bother you. And I feel
like now we laugh about it. Likeit's kind of like, I take a
picture and I'm like, What doyou think she's like, is it for
only fans? I was like, Yeah,Good. Good. Yeah, I printed.
(20:02):
Yeah.
I'm surprised she came around sofast, aren't you?
It took a few months for it'sfast six months, maybe.
I mean, I was a kid, my mom wasdoing only fans. I'm pretty sure
I'd be putting up a stink forquite a while. Yeah. How about
you? Because you, you went toher because you wanted her to be
(20:24):
comfortable? Yes. That's why youasked her. What are your
concerns? Yes. What if she hadnever come around?
I thought about that. And Iactually, you know, I spoke, I
spoke about it with one of mymentors at the time. And he just
(20:48):
kind of walked me through, youknow, that at the end of a day,
you're an adult, and she doesn'thave to like what you do, she
just has to respect you and yourdecision. As an adult,
I know, it's weird for me, I'mnot a parent, as you know, that
(21:09):
sounds on paper. ideal. But atthe same time, this is a child
that you're living with. And Isay child, but she's 17 still a
child. But you know, you get mypoint. You want her to be happy
with her with her parent figure.
You don't want to hold no moreof a grudge than a teenager
would hold against a parent.
(21:33):
There had to be some sort ofstronger dilemma than just like,
well, she's gotta let me do whatI want to do.
Well, yes. I look at it thisway. You know, at the end of the
day, I don't, you know, I don'tlive for my child. I'm there as
(21:59):
a mother. My job is to make sureshe is always protected, fed,
supported, giving the best as amother that I can do for her.
But at the end of the day, shedoesn't get to decide what I do.
You know, as long as I'm nothurting anybody. I, I believe
(22:21):
that even if she doesn't supportin the beginning, which was
normal for any teenage kid, Iknew that eventually, with some
patience with me more explainingand more like being patient with
her, she will come around. Andthat's kind of exactly what
happened. Yeah. Because I toldher, you know, me and her have a
(22:42):
really good relationship. Idon't try to be a friend. I'm
still her mother. Good. I tellher. Even you know, she's an
actress, and she auditions for alot of movies and TV shows and
all that stuff. She has a greatteam. And she's already at that
age where she gets sent outauditions where there's a lot of
kissing almost 16 It's almostlike, you know, and I told her,
(23:05):
I said, at the end of the day,it's your decision. Whatever you
decide to do or not to do ifyou're 19 or over 18 and you
choose to show your breasts onTV. I support you. I think
that's beautiful. At the end ofthe day, it's your choice. Don't
(23:26):
listen to your boyfriend. Don'tlisten to your father. Don't
listen to me. Listen toyourself.
How awesome Are you? I try thisquestion pops up into my head
because I feel like it's anatural inquiry for me and I got
(23:47):
her some other people are gonnathink of it. I know you
mentioned that if she wanted todo a topless TV show or movie.
But what if it was somethinglike only fans? She decided to
go on only for you told her doit. You've already told her to
do it.
You told her do it. Okay. Yeah.
I said to her there's nothing.
(24:08):
You know, what is the differencethat she goes on Instagram and
shows whatever bikini shots?
Yeah. And if she does the sameon only fancy gets paid. It's up
to her what she wants to do. Youknow what I mean? I want to make
sure that she doesn't have anyshame about showing her body or
being sexually expressed. She'sold enough especially after 18
(24:36):
You mentioned the sexualexpression and I know that's
important to you because youwere so repressed Yes. As a kid
growing up into your throughyour teenage years. Tell me more
about that. Why Why was that thecase? And how did you finally
get away from it some 20 yearslater?
I think it's was you know, Igrew up on his Becca Stan so
(24:59):
it's very A kind of old fashion,you know, men are whatever the
kings and women are belong in akitchen with raising kids. You
know, just kidding. Sure. Butyou know, I saw my mom, you
know, she's an extremely smartwoman. And she was, she had a
(25:24):
very high position at her job.
And then when she got married tomy dad, my dad was a musician
was making a lot more money thanmy mom. And, you know, when mom
had me, my dad basically toldher that you have to quit your
job and stay and be a stay athome mom, and she didn't want
to, and I didn't want my mom toshe used to take me to work.
(25:46):
That was my, like, firstmodeling job. She worked for
fashion house. She was she hadan accounting team there. Yeah.
And so they hired me as a model.
I was like, seven, eight, Idon't know, it was like my first
job, basically. And I had somuch fun. And I was just like,
so heartbroken that basically mydad gave her an ultimatum, like,
(26:09):
either you stay at home, or wehad a divorce. So she stayed at
home with us. And I saw my momkind of like, losing that power
dynamic. Even just that zest,right, that zest and just, you
know, kind of like started nottaking care of her as much. And,
(26:31):
you know, became a housewife. Imean, listen, I'm so grateful to
my mother gave me so much loveand to my sister. But I think I
would have loved to see herhappy. I think for any kid, we
just want to see our parentshappy. And that's why comes back
to my own daughter. I feel like,at the end of the day, if her
(26:52):
mom is happy, you know, she'shappy, because when I was
miserable, and pissed off andoverstressed. Who would I take
it out on? Yeah, my daughter,right? She would you know, she
would get the ship from it.
She benefits from yourhappiness.
I absolutely. Want to.
I would assume you make money.
You make money off only fans?
(27:15):
Yes, of course. How much doesthat play into? You wanting to
do it and you expecting yourdaughter to say, I'm going to do
what I want to do?
You mean how much money drivesit? Okay, yeah, sure. for me or
for you, for me?
How much have you tried todefend it to your daughter is
(27:36):
like, look, I'm making money.
See, Isee. I see. You know, to me, I
started my only fans. Notbecause of money. Okay? Because
I have a business. I have amassage therapy business. And I
have a team working and youknow, we've been, I've I've had
this business for last sixyears. And that's kind of been
(27:59):
my main business, you know, sofor only fans. I, when I first
heard about it a few years ago,I was like, What is this
bullshit? Like? That sounds waytoo good to be true. Like, it's
gotta be some fucking scam.
What did you hear?
I just, you know, I heard like,hearing their only fans a
(28:21):
YouTubed about it. And, youknow, they were people saying
the girls saying like, Oh myGod, this how much we get? And I
was like, bullshit. I was such askeptic so much, ya know what I
was like, There's no way even ifit's not like, even if it's
like, whatever, even if it's athird of that. Yeah. Like,
you're just posting pictures,and you're getting paid like
fucking bullshit. Like I sewedthem by, they probably hold it,
(28:42):
and they never give it to you.
Like it was just sounded toogood. Right. So then, few years
later, I, you know, I startedinvesting really, a lot and
coaches and mentors. And God,it's been a life changing
changer for me. And so one of mymentors had an only fans and I
was like, huh, I don't, I don'tknow. And I knew at that point,
(29:10):
it had to be real because, youknow, I trust her. She was my
coach. Yeah. And then I startedworking with her coach, we both
started kind of being in a sameit was like this mastermind we
had and our mentor his wife wasan only fans model Jesus.
(29:30):
And so a lot of people do andonly fans Yes, I have a lot
of friends that do that. And,and they were just thriving in
it. They've been doing it foralready four or five years and
making decent money. And I waslike, this this not a
coincidence. Like he just, youknow, what is it like? Kismet?
(29:52):
Yeah, it's just like, basically,I came back to that anyway, I
got to try it and the fact thatI had so much resistance. I had
so much judgment around onlyfans. I knew that in order for
me to get to the other side, Ineed to heal all the shit, all
this judgment, all the shame. Itwas such a long process. And so
(30:17):
with my mentor, we worked somuch. I felt that, you know,
only fans were horse slots, theysaw their body like they're just
the most. I mean, like bimbosare not smart. And then I
started, you know, and he'slike, Well, is that true? I was
like, No, it's not true. BecauseI see so many smart and
(30:38):
beautiful women do that and justcreating a business out of it
and being so brilliant about it,because it is a business. Yeah.
And they've run it as abusiness. I just knew that.
There's so much fear about whatpeople think what my parents
would my friends and family,they're gonna think like, I'm
(31:01):
fucking insane. Yeah. So it waskind of just like, for that
reason. I knew I wanted to be onit. Because there's so much
resistance, and there's so muchfear. And I knew once I overcome
it, it's like a healing ofitself. I suppose that was my
drive. Yeah.
That's a huge portion of it toovercome. For me personally, if
(31:23):
I was doing only vans, my fearswould be about family and
friends seeing me naked. Okay,that's me personally,
if you want to be naked, youdon't have to be. But yeah.
Well, vulnerable in some way.
Yeah. How do you get past thefact that John over, you know,
(31:45):
the grocery clerk at Vons, whoyou see all the time is now
going to see topless?
You know, it's interesting. I'mgoing to tell you some stories.
Some incidents, actually. I'vehad that happen even. So I have
a friend. And she's a reallyclose friend. And so her son,
(32:09):
who's in his early 20s.
I love the tone came down.
Sign up for my only fan. Yeah.
And you know, at first I wasconflicted. I was like, fuck,
like, right, right.
That's a great example. Yeah.
Andthen I thought about I was like,
Okay, well, he's over 21. Andover 18, whatever. I'm pretty
(32:30):
sure he's over 21 at this point.
And I was like, well, listen, Iam. I'm not ashamed of doing
what I don't hide it. I talkabout it. There's media about
it. You know, there's articlesabout it. So it's not like, I
knew that if I'm going to put itout there. Yeah, I'm not going
(32:51):
to change my name. My name staysthe same, right? It's in my bio,
like, in my Instagram and mysocial media, you can always
look it up. If I'm going to doit, I'm going to do it the right
way. I'm not going to hideit. What is the right way? For
me, right way for me is totallyembrace it. And whoever wants to
(33:12):
come in, I have to be socomfortable with doing what I'm
doing that no matter who comesdoesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
In fact, recently so funny. Ialso offer Skype calls. Okay.
It's like one on one kind oflike, if you're only fans. Yes.
So it's kind of like, like anintimate it could be about
(33:35):
anything sexy time. Yeah, itcould be some people just want
to connect, believe it or not.
Wow. Yeah. But it's so I've hadboth. I've had where people just
want to connect, then they don'treally want to go to sexy time.
And I've had people that weconnect at first and then I kind
of want to go to sexy time. Idon't know, it's kind of just
(33:55):
different. You know,how long? How long does a phone
call last?
Well, I've choices so you canhave 30 minutes, 45 minutes or
an hour? Damn, yeah.
That's a long time. I gotta askyou, I'm not asking you
actually. But I gotta say, Iknow. You must make a lot of
(34:17):
money.
I make okay. I, um, it's, youknow, it's it's still not main
business, not a main business.
But I want to make it a mainbusiness for sure. Okay, so my,
I definitely want to make a lotmore like I'm open to and that's
the thing. I don't push myselfto do anything I'm not
(34:40):
comfortable in doing so even ifit means making a little less
money. I'm okay with it. Becauseit's not like this is not only
money to me, I want to enjoywhat I do. I said to myself, I'm
gonna love what I do whatever itis I I like that because money
alone is not going to make. No,that really makes me happy.
(35:06):
Because I've known a few peoplethat have gone to only fans. I
don't know why. I hope I'm notsharing too much. But, you know,
my first thought is, theysuccumbed to the money, because
who couldn't? I would if I was agirl, I'd be on only fans in a
second. But I'm glad to hear yousay that, because you're doing
(35:30):
it because you want to the moneyis secondary. And I believe you.
I think that's a very good pointto make to you right now. I
think some people might say thatnow I'd be like, Yeah, okay.
Sure. But with you and know you,at least the girl, the woman I
know, sitting before me today istelling the truth. So I don't
know. I like that. What What areyou saying to people who still
(35:53):
aren't in agreement with you?
Who's who are close to you? Andyou're like, wow, what the fuck
are you doing?
I am okay with that. Everybodyhas a different journey. And you
know, I was just like them justa few years ago, even like a
year ago, you know what I mean?
So I came around, and I seelike, people that judge the most
(36:13):
or the ones the one at the most,they just don't realize it. You
know, when we are triggered bysomebody, usually it's like
this. You either you eitherattract people that are
triggered. So those people maybedeep down one it but haven't
admitted to themselves. So it'slike pisses them off, and
(36:34):
they're like, fuck her, she's,she's a whore, whatever. Or it's
the people. They're like, Oh, myGod, I want to do it to do you
know how many people wrote to mewomen, said, Lana. I want to do
only fans to but I'm so scaredof people think good for them to
turn to you. I like that. Andthey just, you know, and they
(36:54):
said, Thank you for doing whatyou're doing. You've given us
permission to do the same to tryas well. Yeah, as a mother as a
single mother.
How awesome. Does that make youfeel?
It makes me feel good. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm happy for you. And notonly I want to say also, like,
you know, people might thinklike, oh, only Vance is like,
(37:16):
Man objectify you. But it's sonot that I was when I opened my
only fans. And granted, I hadmentors who have done it, who
showed me how they do it. And Iwas like, Holy fuck, you can do
it that way. They had suchrespect with their subscribers,
and it was just so loving. Andso like, connected that he was
(37:41):
like, there's no disrespect. Andso I was like, I want that I
wanted that way. And now it's sofunny. You know, people can
order some videos. I usuallydon't do a lot of custom videos,
but sometimes I do it. If itfeels
good if you refuse it so a lot.
(38:02):
Yeah, I just don't really like Iusually want to create my own. I
don't like when people tell me.
Oh, I want you to do this. This.
I don't know. It's just maybeI'm just like, Oh, don't tell me
what to do. Wow. Yeah. But butthat's a whole different
ballgame. Exactly. But now Iopened up actually more to
suggestions because I don't, I'mkind of I trust them more. And
(38:25):
so it's interesting, likeliterally, I one of my
subscribers who's like been withme for I don't know, a year,
maybe a little less and who'sbots spend so much money. And
he's like, he's asking me to dothese videos and and I tell him
like, Oh, this is uncomfortablewith this is and he's like,
super respect. He's like, Wouldyou feel comfortable, blah,
(38:47):
blah, blah. And it's sointeresting. And I said, you
know, not yet maybe later. He'slike, I just love to see you
grow into your expansion. And Inever want you to do anything.
You're not comfortable. Thatgood for him. You know? And
that's just one I have so manylike that. Yeah, I have so many,
literally one of my subscribersrecently, he's like, Oh my god,
(39:11):
like your breasts are nearlyperfect. Are they real or not?
And I was like, actually,they're not. He's like, Well, a
friend of mine just had a babyand she's really looking for a
Sergent, do you think you cangive me the information? I was
like off course. And I totallygave him all the information of
my doctor everything so it justthose kinds of conversations
like there's real friendshipsthere's real and they get to see
(39:35):
me topless and you know but thenagain, I I needed to show to
myself that just because you'renude your topless doesn't give
people a right to objectify youand doesn't have to be that way
what people told me that is nottrue.
(39:59):
What People told you what do youmean?
When I you know, growing upsociety, my parents just like a
few are naked. If you showwhatever your heart you're,
you're gonna be treated as suchyou will not be
respected. And you don't feellike that's happened? Absolutely
not.
No, I also run a businessmassage business. A lot of my
(40:20):
clients from my business went tomy only fans, how
does that work? Do they see youand say, Oh my God, that last
post was so beautiful. Yes, theydo. They see you in person and
respond? Well,I don't see my clients myself.
You know, they know it's mycompany. Right? But yeah, they,
they totally do. Or some of themwant to do coaching with me. I
(40:43):
also do coaching for men. So alot of my only fan subscribers,
book me for coaching. So it'scrazy. I know. It's crazy kind
of how everything kind ofcrosses over. Yeah, but I wanted
to, I wanted to have it thatway. Where there's no shame,
there's transparency. And peopleknow what I do. And that's why I
(41:08):
share everything. I share my agethat I have a daughter, what I
do about what I believe in. So Iwant people to have a real
connection to me. And I feellike they do and that makes it
so much better for for both forall of us.
Do you this thought just cameinto my head right now we you
(41:28):
and I have shared that we'rereally enjoying each other's
company. And is this? Do youhave this with everybody?
I don't. And in fact, this is myfirst podcast, and I just feel
so comfortable. And yeah, youmade me feel so safe and
(41:50):
comfortable. Like? Yeah, I hope.
Yeah, it continues to be likethat. No, it's
gonna stop right now.
Now with you, I mean, justpodcast.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
I hope it's as good as it ishere.
Well, and the only reason thatquestion comes from is because
there's a undeniable, joy oflife. And you express love. And
(42:16):
I don't say that lightly. Youreally do. It emits from you. So
it's like, well, it can't justbe me. She's I'm not I know. I'm
a great guy. You must share thissort of energy with whoever you
come across. Yeah, it's just inyou now.
Yeah, I just, I feel like themore I started loving myself,
(42:43):
the more I started lovingpeople, and just the more I
stopped being judgmental ofmyself, I stopped being
judgmental of other people, Ihave more empathy. My heart is
much more open. You know, Itrust where before, none of it
and my life was misery honestly.
(43:05):
Will you marry me later ontonight? Yes, thank you. We
gotta go. It's neat, because Ihave changed over the years
through taking care of myselfself care and learn to read
reframing my brain as you have.
And so there is nothing greaterthan being with somebody who
(43:27):
understands the language withwith actually the non language
of the language. Anyway, I'mdone complimenting you. You're
pretty awesome,though. Thank you. Sorry, you,
Mike. Thankyou. Um, but you would mention
you have a business as a massagebusiness. Yes. And I know from
(43:51):
talking to you before that youhad issues with the business
that you're not really happyabout.
You know, I I started thebusiness kind of by accident
because I was so broke. And, youknow, I worked for somebody for
(44:12):
a company for a friend and I wasa booker. And then I, you know,
I work until the company kind ofwent under and then somebody, a
friend of mine who worked forthat company, asked me let me
teach you massages, I was like,hell no mana touching anybody
(44:34):
should not massaging anybody.
That's a Fuck no, she's like,you'll make a lot of money. And
I was so broke at that time. Iwas just like, what else like,
God helped me.
I got to imagine it had sexualconnotation to you when she
mentioned it. You know,it didn't because I knew
everybody who I knew wereprofessionals. But I knew of
that by being a broker. Yeah, Iknew what it entailed. all's I
(44:58):
knew that people solicit? And Iknow what it's like to be on the
booking side. So I did not wantto experience what it is. I
don't want to be in the room.
Exactly. I don't want to be inthe room. So out of desperation,
I said yes to her. I was like,fuck it. I'm like, I don't have
(45:22):
another choice. Like, literally,I was so broke. I'm a single
mom, and I need to make money.
So I said, Yes, she taught me infour or five days how to do a
certain type of massage. And Istarted doing it and started
making so much more money like10x Everything I was,
(45:44):
you know, making before just mymassage, none of that.
No, nothing, just massages. Yes.
We did house calls we did incalls. And then we six months
later, I had a falling out witha girl, we had a fight about
something stupid, really stupid,but both were emotionally not
intelligent enough to deal withour emotions. Okay, you know, so
(46:09):
we kind of just dealt like twohigh school girls, which is like
almost pull in hair, which is sostupid. So I kinda was forced to
open up my own. So at thatpoint, I already knew some
massage therapists and I knewhow the business runs, I knew
how to market it. And I slowlystopped doing massages myself,
(46:34):
and kind of just became abusiness owner and running it
and, you know, bookingappointments and dealing with
the clients and all of that,which I really kind of enjoyed.
So yeah, but the part of thebusiness, especially before when
I was first starting out, it wasa lot of, you know, we
(46:57):
experienced a lot ofsolicitations. And even if, with
booking I would say, you know,what kind of massage it is that
is therapeutic, and there'snothing else and, you know, I
was always straightforwardupfront with that. Yes, very
much. So because I didn't wantthe girls to go in the room and
have this horrible experience.
(47:17):
And they trust me, because, youknow, I'm the person who speaks,
but it's hard because like,there's only so much you can do
once they get in the room. Ifthat guy wants to solicit, he's
going to do it. Andthat's what ended up happening.
But interesting enough, becauseit's so I don't know how much
you're into energy and all ofthat because I'm into that.
(47:38):
Okay. Well, I used to have somuch distrust for men, and so
much resentment. And because Ithink a lot of a lot of it came
from my dad that wasn't dealtwith or healed. Okay, so of
course, you know, there's asaying the way we do one thing
(47:59):
is the way we do everythingelse. So I would say all the men
in my life, whether a orclients, men, I dated friends, I
had this, like, mistrust andeven when I met you, that's why
was you so standoffish. I waslike that with everybody with
(48:20):
every guy. So obviously, whenyou expect the worst, guess what
you can attract the worse. Iagree, you know, and I was
attracting people like what weafraid of, and what we project.
It's literally attracting that.
And it's so interesting now, somany years later, when I heal
(48:44):
that, kind of like this. Thisthing this like, resentment and
hatred for men. Yeah. I have themost incredible clients, the
most incredible clients thathave nothing but the utmost
respect for my therapist. I'vemaybe there's solicitation maybe
(49:06):
like a 1%. And it's so funnyeven the way they do they ask
like can I ask you a question?
Like, I was like, yes. Do youguys do they don't even say it?
I was like, No, we don't. Oh,thank you so much. I'm sorry. I
hope it's not uncomfortable.
Literally like that. There'snothing that's where I get upset
(49:29):
about fight them for no, none ofthat. None of that because I
feel that I have so much loveand you know, I'm just open and
we've attract that since thebiggest names you know, from a
list actors to God two musiciansGrammy, whatever, you name it,
(49:51):
the biggest stars.
Well, and that is surprising tome personally, because in my
opinion, which I think might bequite a few people's opinions. I
would think those people are theones that would be soliciting.
They don't. They don't. Theydon't, they actually don't.
Because I think that maybe they,they've been, you know, taught
(50:14):
that, you know, they have somuch on the line, it's not worth
it. Right, what they, usuallythe people that used to do that
would be the people who were,you know, the CEOs, the the
attorneys, the doctors that kindof work a lot and have a lot of
money, and can pretty much buywhatever, you know, so we would
(50:37):
be those kind of people thatdon't have time for whatever
relationships or whatever, andthey have families, but they
would come to us and try to kindof negotiate, you know,
something extra.
So the one time we were talkingabout it, it seemed like it was
a big issue for you. But the wayyou're talking about it now, it
(50:59):
doesn't seem like it's that bigof an issue. Yeah. So
I would say the last year, Ifeel like there was a shift, I
would say maybe the last six toeight months before it was a big
issue. But I feel like the moreI started working through kind
(51:24):
of like my issues with men.
Yeah. And they kind of healedeverywhere. Everywhere in dating
clientele. Clients subscriberseverywhere.
The positiveness just surroundedyou. Yeah. And you know it
(51:46):
because it's the work you putinto it.
For a lot of work. Yeah.
Let me ask you, I always like toask people because I know what I
did to change who I am, if youwill, what sort of self care to
what did you do to get where youare now?
There's a lot so I started rightafter my breakup. That was
(52:08):
really bad. Actually. After Imet you. I had a you know, I was
on a relationship with somebody,which was really toxic. As you
know, I mentioned to you or youactually had an issue with that
we had I had you as aphotoshoot. Yes. You're a second
probably nude photo shoot. Uhhuh. And then you had
(52:30):
a semi nude was a nude was atopless? I don't remember. Oh,
it was topless. For sure. I'mnot sure definitely non nude but
topless. I want to sayunderstood. Yeah.
But he at the end of the day, hewas like, What the fuck is this?
Yeah, Ihid it from him. Because he
didn't want me to do it. You hidthe fact that we were doing it?
Yeah, first place you didn'tknow? No. And then when he found
out it was such a big fight. Andwe had a huge I mean, it was
(52:56):
huge. It was a breakup. Yeah.
And then we got, I should haveleft that at that. Of course, we
got back together. And it wenteven worse. Now there's no trust
whatsoever. You know, he wasgoing through all my shit, my
phone, my computer, likeeverything, got all my
passwords, like was insane. Youknow, such a horrible
(53:19):
relationship. So after thatfinally ended. A girl who used
to work for me said like, Hey,listen, I have the shaman. To
you wanna? I was like, hookedup. Fuck a shaman. She's like,
just go check them out. He'sreally good. If you want some
kind of like, different, youknow, healing good. Because I
(53:42):
had psychiatrist psychologist.
None of that should help to me,none of it. And I'm sorry for
years. Yeah. So I was like, shegave me the number. I called him
that day. I booked them thatday. God damn.
I was it was a greatopportunity. Oh, yeah.
Desperation, meets opportunity.
Yes.
(54:03):
And he was kind of like my firstdive into healing and energy and
all of it. He told me, you know,he just started working with me
and kind of like, cleaning myspirit or whatever. And that,
you know, I started going to himevery week, I want to say for
(54:26):
like a few months. Yeah. Andthat opened up to opportunities
for possibilities for me tostart searching for more for
more healers. So I would go tohypnotherapists. I would go to
(54:48):
coaches I would hire I wouldhire and pay anybody. I was so
desperate. I was like justanything. Anything I came across
I would buy whatever money I wasmaking
was, whatever said I can makeyou a better person. Yes,
yes. I didn't care. I didn'tcare because I was like, I can't
(55:11):
live like this. I can't I can.
This is not this was justawfulness. You know what I mean?
Like, anytime I would get into arelationship, I just in every
part, I was fighting with peoplethat was working for me. I was
fighting with my parents, I hadbad relationships. It was just,
I was I didn't have a goodrelationships, a relationship
with my daughter, we were alwaysfighting. So everything in my
(55:34):
life seemed like was a disaster.
I mean, from the outside, itlooked like, you know, I was
running a business. You know, Iwas dating constantly, I was
like, being wined and dined. Butinside. I just felt, first of
(55:55):
all, unworthy. Just so unworthy,and so not good enough. You
know? So even if somebody woulddo something nice for me, I just
leave and quit and receive itbecause I felt like well, I'm
not I'm not worthy of it. So Icouldn't receive love.
(56:16):
This isn't happy. So this meansnothing to me. Of course,
like nobody, no matter how manycompliments, no matter how many
gifts I got, I just was numbbecause I just didn't feel or
they. Yeah. So I just, you know,continued continued. It was a
long journey. from Tony Robbinsto books. I mean, it was
(56:39):
breeding nonstop. I would investin coaches. I remember the first
coach I hired, I literally hadno money. But I was like, I
don't care. I if it helps me 20%It's worth it. And it did. And
(57:00):
it kind of just build up littleby little by little, I mean to
this day spend 1000s of dollars,and I don't regret anything.
Even the shitty investments thatI made. They still brought me to
some good ones. Yeah. Yeah.
I like that. And the one youmentioned, Tony Robbins. Was
that a help? Was that helpful?
(57:21):
You know, I think Tony Robbinsis great. In fact, you know, I
did all his I remember like, Idon't know, if 10 years ago, I
bought his like, what do theylike videos or whatever of his
like, programs, right? And Iknew, and I started listening to
(57:45):
them, I was really, really likedepressed in life, because I was
in a really bad, you know, badrelationship, bad marriage, we
were both not happy. And so Ikind of started, I told my ex
husband, I was like, let's dothis together. And kind of
reluctantly, he agreed. And thenwe realized, and I realized that
(58:06):
Oh, my God, like, I should notbe married. This is not a good
marriage. Like I had to actuallybe honest with myself. And I
think Tony Robbins helped mewith that good kind of was a
first step. And then I did a lotof different, you know,
different I spent so much money,but it's easy to spend money on
(58:28):
those things.
It was crazy how much money infact, me and my ex husband, you
know, we're in good terms now.
And we did it together afterbeing divorced. We invested in
it. After the divorce, yeah,after the divorce we because
like, we, you know, we both wantto be the best parents to our
(58:48):
daughter, and we're really goodparents. So, you know, we're
both young and stupid. He hadanger issues, and I had my own
issues. We were not perfect. Sonow I feel like you know, we
both know kind of where we wentwrong. And so, you know, Tony
Robbins helped, but he was oneof many. I can't say he was the
(59:09):
one butI will tell you in my journey. I
went through a few and I didn'tspend 1000s But I definitely
spent money. And Kyle Cece, haveyou
heard of oh my god, I love him.
I think is he Yeah, I think Iknow who he is. And if it is I
love him.
He's my guy. I just love him. Ilove the simplicity of his
(59:33):
approach. And he's got humor.
He'sYes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes.
That's him. I love him. He wasgoing to rip me right. Yes,
that's how I found him. He wasgoing to rip me out and he was
doing that I Wasco whatever. Ilove him. I know. Oh my god.
Yes.
(59:54):
Well, I'm just glad. I'm gladbecause I can see the change in
you and I don't say thatlightly.
Yeah, it's for you. Yeah.
I've said to you 72 times sinceyou've been here, how I can just
feel the love between the two ofus. And I don't say that as any
come on or anything. It's just,I feel you, you are right here.
(01:00:16):
And we're sharing our hearttogether. And it's awesome.
Yeah, I feel it. Yeah.
It's undeniable. We're actually,you made me, I usually like to
make everybody look at the starson my TV, and you're like, can
we just look at each otheraction? I want to see your eyes,
Michael.
(01:00:37):
All right. I'll try that. And Itold you, as you were calling.
Alright, well, we'll do. We'llstart with looking at each
other. And then we'll look atthe stars. And as you've
noticed, I never went back tothe stars. This is
so much better this way. I thinkpersonally.
(01:00:57):
It's better this way for you.
And I, it really worked. Becauseof this connection that we feel
tonight. I still want to use thestars for my other guests. But
for you, it's this like, it'llbe that moment when I've done
200 podcasts. And somebody says,Have you ever not used the stars
and Alec be able to say onetime?
(01:01:21):
Well, I'm glad you liked it. Idefinitely enjoyed this.
Stop smiling.
I'm waiting foran interview. Am I interviewing
you? No,no, but I'm just like, I'm, I'm
interested. You know, whereelse?
(01:01:43):
Yeah, no, I like it. Tell mesomething's on your mind that
you want me to talk to youabout? No, you don't have to
make it up. I just thoughtI'm just trying to see maybe
there is got it. You know, Ijust I just I want to see more
women being expressed. I reallydo. Because I know. Let me tell
(01:02:14):
you something. Every woman wantsto feel desire. This man wants
to feel beautiful. Yeah, at anyage, at any shape. But there's
so much fear of judgment.
There's so much fear to reallyshow up to pose that sexy
(01:02:35):
picture to pose that there's somany beautiful people inside
out. Beautiful women that Ipersonally know, that are so
horrified. Like they'reterrified to pose even a picture
because, you know, they want tobe admired. They want to be
seen. They want to be desired.
They want to be told they'rebeautiful, but they're so
(01:02:56):
scared. So if I can be the lightfor people to see that if I can
do it, being a mother being asingle mother, being a
successful entrepreneur, being acoach being respected by men,
date amazing men. Yeah, I've,you know, men that I dated like
(01:03:18):
Forbes 30, under 30. And I getthe most respect, and they know
what I do. So I want to showwomen that that's possible. That
what they heard and what theylearned before is a bunch of
bullshit from society that tryto control them. Anything
because of that, becausethere's, you know, I show that
(01:03:39):
there's so many sides to me, I'mstill a mom. Yeah. And I have a
great relationship with mydaughter. I am still a sister, a
daughter, a cousin, all myfamily were very close. You
know, my cousins, whatever. Theyknow what I do. They think it's
funny.
(01:03:59):
I gotta assume they've seen you,right?
I mean, they haven't seenthere's gotta be curiosity. They
don't from what I know. I don'tknow. But I don't think you
know, my cousins want to sign upfor my only fans, you know, but
they know what I do. And becausethey feel like because I don't
have shame about it. I've kindof like neutralize it within
(01:04:20):
myself. I'm okay with that.
Yeah, they're okay with that. Atfirst, I was really worried. You
know, like, my daughter's shehas a manager, she has an agent.
And I thought, oh my god, ifthey find out you don't want to,
you're gonna drop her becausethey're gonna be like, we don't
want to associate ourselves withthis shit. You know, and I was
petrified. And you know what?
(01:04:44):
Thanks, you know, to like mycoaches, whatever kind of like I
did the inner work to neutralizeit within myself first and now
they know and oh my God, ourrelationship is even better.
There's no like this.
awkwardness is kind of like,basically the more I accepted it
within myself, people around meaccepted it and those that
(01:05:06):
didn't kind of felt fell away.
Well, that is very true. Youknow that once you know, when we
become who we really are thatpeople are gonna fall away with
a polarizing, like, Yeah, butalso I think it's a way once
again, not to beat a dead horse,but it's the way you handle it
the way who you are kind of sayslike, Oh, look how happy she is
with it. I don't know. You'renot flaunting it. You're not
(01:05:30):
shamed by it. As a matter offact, you're almost just
empowered by it. I am soempowered by it. For sure. Yeah,
like if you had to sing a songright now, which one would it
be?
Is there what's Whitney Houstonsong? Every woman?
(01:05:51):
I'm every woman. I was prettygood. No lie. Give me better
than that. For the people whoare listening, she just kind of
smiled and shook herhead. Yes. It was good.
Nevermind. Bravo. Oh, wow. Iremember when we were friends.
(01:06:17):
So yeah, well, yeah. So westarted this at the beginning,
where I asked you, how have youHow did you make your change?
Where do you How did you go fromthe girl I met 10 years ago, to
who you are now. And you didn'treally answer me way back then.
(01:06:37):
But I think throughouteverything we've talked about,
you have answered me. And I lovethe answer. Yeah. I love your
journey. I love the path. I loveyou, Ilana. If I don't see you
again. I don't know. Yeah, yourenergy is something I don't want
to see every once in a while. SoI'm saying right here right now
(01:06:58):
in front of everybody. Let'shang out more because we're too
cool together.
Yeah, I'm down. Yeah.
But you live all the way down bythe beach. So I don't know. I
didn't come on that far. You gotto come out here.
It's too hot here right now. Isit? It's cooler at the beach.
Right? It's like 20 degrees.
I used to live in Redondo SouthRedondo. Oh my god. And it was
(01:07:24):
so happened. It's just 20degrees cooler. Summer here is
brutal.
Summer here in Hollywood,Hollywood, but
more so even in the valley whereI used to live.
I used to be in Encino,miserable, miserable lives in
Sherman Oaks. Yeah, soI love to Redondo Beach, you
know at night and sleep with thewindow open. Hear the waves
(01:07:46):
crashing?
Yeah, I can't hear the wavescrashing because I'm like, a bit
of a walk. But just the wind andlike the fresh air. Priceless.
Priceless.
All right, Lana, before we go,Yes, I'm gonna ask you to tell
me something nice about me.
Oh, Michael. I'm just sograteful that you invited me
(01:08:11):
because I am having such a greatexperience with you. You are. I
love your spirit. You're justlike a light. You're so
positive. You're funny. I loveyou know, you're smart. And I
love the way you lead thisconversation. And you made me
(01:08:32):
feel so safe. So I appreciateyou.
Okay, hold on, because I waslooking for a joke. Because
nobody, nobody looks for acompliment. But what do you just
said touched me immensely. Sothank you for all that. I'm glad
that I did that for you. Andyeah, I'm gonna cry because I
cry when I get truthful. Butthat means a lot to me what you
(01:08:54):
just said, and I meant it.
That's the thing. I'm a big Isee the truth. And I know it
well, and you were not lying.
And so that's why I had to takethe joke away and actually
respond to you. So thank youagain. Anyway, now say something
funny. We gotta go. We're out ofhere. Say goodbye.
Bye.
(01:09:22):
All right, you guys. Thanks forcoming out. That was awesome.
We're going to be back in acouple of weeks. So hopefully
you'll join us then. And if youfeel so inclined, please leave a
positive review on any of yourfavorite platforms. And if you
didn't like us, of course, thisis Xavier McGillicuddy signing
out for today. It's MichaelVieyra. You knucklehead See you
(01:09:43):
later
Welcome to courage under the stars with Michael
Vieyra. That's me, I am MichaelVieyra. Here I speak off the
cuff with people that I findinteresting, where you're going
to sit in a darkened room andjust allowing you to eavesdrop.
I tell my guests, no politics,no religion, but otherwise, I
don't care what we talk about aslong as it comes from the heart.
(00:28):
I hope even just a small part ofit resonates with you. Some of
it will, some of it won't. Andthat's okay. But I'm just glad
you're here. I really do loveall of you. And thanks for
coming. Let's get this thingstarted. Hello. Welcome to
today's episode, our guest todayis Alana Mae, she has a
(00:48):
beautiful soul who has a onlyfans page, which we will be
talking about at length today.
It will carry adult tones to itexplicitly might say. So be
aware of that. And if that isnot your cup of tea, you have
been warned up front. Thanksagain. And welcome to courage
under the stars with MichaelVieyra. I'll tell you what the
one thing I love about you iswhen I met you 10 years ago,
(01:14):
whatever it was fuck, right? Iwas like, Okay, this girl's a
little standoffish. She's gother thing going on. Whatever it
is, I'm just here to do my work.
I'm a photographer. I'll takepictures done and done. But now,
(01:35):
Ilana, I don't know what'schanged, but you have love in
your heart. And you make it easyto want to engage with you.
Please, please, please tell mewhat's changed.
Thank you. First of all. It wasjust such a journey. It was such
(01:57):
a journey. You know, I was whenI met you, I was a few years
after my divorce. And God, it'sbeen such a roller coaster.
Because, you know, it was I wasin a really bad relationship
(02:18):
where my self esteem and justyou know, my feminine power was
so destroyed. It wasso because he was domineering.
Yes, it was just very, you know,toxic relationship in a lot of
ways. But we met when I wasreally young 17 You were
(02:39):
together for a long time, verylong time. You know, and it
started from my father, he was,you know, I love my dad, we have
a pretty good relationship now.
But back in a day, you know, hewas very, you know, come from a
Russian family. And he was verymuch controlling, like, you
know, so he was living with himwas really tough. So I just
(03:01):
wanted to get out of the houseas soon as possible. So the
first guy the first opportunity,and I mean, like, he was a great
guy, and he was consistent. Hewas there for me, he made me
feel safe. I was like, Let's goat 19. I was, you know, at 19. I
was already almost, I wasengaged. Did you
(03:23):
care about him? Or was it allabout just getting out of the
fucking house?
You know what I did care abouthim. But I think what pushed me
to do it faster, was to get outof the house. Sure. For sure. I,
you know, I fell in love withhim. Eventually, and it was I
(03:46):
knew it wasn't a goodrelationship because of 19. We
had a big fight and a house andour neighbors called the cops.
Yeah. So for domestic abuse. Andso the cops came to me. I was 19
years old. And they asked me doyou want us to arrest him? And I
(04:13):
said, No, because our weddingwas going to be in two months. I
was like, fuck, so if I do this,I go back to my dad. And out of
two evils, but lesser one. So Isaid no.
And what a horrible positionto be in and yeah, I say you're
in the States or Russia. No, itwas here and Philadelphia
(04:35):
actually. And the fucked upthing is was my parents were
there they came. I called them Ithink to for them to come when
the police were there. Yeah. AndI remember my dad didn't say
anything. He didn't really stickup for me. And my mom didn't
(04:56):
really stick up for me becausethey We're so worried. There's
so many guests invited. We hadour wedding in New York, and
there's so many guests invited.
Yeah. And the thought of like,the embarrassment, what people
are going to say, if we don't gothrough the wedding was so much
(05:18):
more important than the actualwell being of their daughter.
Is that what you meant when yousaid my parents didn't stick up
for me? Or what did you mean bythat?
Yeah, I feel like, you know,everything I was taught growing
up that you keep your dirtylaundry. In the home. Yeah, you
(05:44):
don't talk about any issues. Sowe never did. It was kind of
like a big no, no. So I grew upwith, you know, everything has
to be Hush, hush. You can't talkabout anything. People can no
you have to be you know, acertain way like front. Exactly
(06:04):
like what people think of you assuch a dominating, dominating
reason for everything. Yeah. Itwas almost crippling. I don't
like it. Yeah, I didn't either.
But, you know, it took me a verylong time to get where I am now.
(06:27):
And it's, like I said, it's beena journey. So when I met you
coming back to what you said,which now we got, like four
stories going on, and I don'teven care. But yes. If you have
something to say about that,please
tell me. So when I met you, along time ago, it was my first
(06:48):
photo shoot. No, it wasn'tactually. My first one. I want
to say, I don't, I think it wasbefore I met you. I did a nude
photo shoot through my agent andthrow my manager and it was for
(07:08):
photo gallery for a photo book.
Okay. It was a very tastefulphotoshoot. But so though dish,
and he asked me like, hey, howdo you feel about going to this
audition? I don't know how muchbe like maybe $1,000. And for
me, it was like, Wow, that'samazing. And so I said, Yeah,
let's do it. So the audition wasat an office is a huge actually.
(07:35):
It was like a huge actually likea conference room. There was 10
people. They gave me a rope andsaid go in a bathroom. Come out.
This rope yourself is thehighest side this rope? Yes.
Turn around naked. Put the ropeback.
(07:59):
Go back in the room. Yeah.
It was the most liberatingfucking thing ever. I couldn't
get it. It was so amazing. I washigh. Yeah. And then I found out
I booked it. Okay, so when I goton the set, it was 100 people
(08:20):
set was a lot of people. Yeah.
So there was a lot of semi nudemodels, nude models. And I feel
like people who are dressed upso it was very like lingerie,
but it was very classy. It waslike made in like almost like
the 50s set. So mine was toplessand bottomless. totally new, but
(08:43):
close, but just no bra. And noone door. But like jewelry
lingerie, just like you know.
You can see your your privates.
Yeah, but there was jewelry andother items. zactly got it.
And I met so many incrediblemodels, like nude models. And I
(09:07):
just for the first time in mylife. I saw so much freedom in
being naked. Yeah. And being notobjectified. Because I was
taught that first of all, it'sshameful to be new to have sex
before marriage. All of that.
Yeah. You know what I mean? Imean, let alone let anybody see
you naked. That's like, you goto hell. Like that's like your
(09:29):
whore for sure. You're like,damaged. You don't even go to
purgatory. You go straight todone. You're done. You're done.
Yeah. And so for the first timeand there was a set of you know,
a professional set, but thedirector would like it was And
everybody looked into our eyeslike nobody looked anywhere
else. Nobody made us feeluncomfortable. Crazy. That's
(09:52):
awesome. Amazing. Yeah, I wasjust like, holy fuck what
happened? I wouldn't aren't thatgood?
How old were you?
I feel like I was maybe 30.
Yeah.
So you'd never felt any sort offreedom like that before?
(10:14):
Never. So it was like with mymanager, kind of like, let's do
this, you know, it's gonna becool, whatever. And we did it.
But it was such a hush hush. Ididn't tell anybody. I think I
told my mom and she was kind ofokay with it. Like, I was seeing
a guy. And he said to me, I toldhim about it. And he said, If
(10:38):
you don't, if you don't do it,I'll pay you what they pay. You
just don't do it.
Got it. He didn't want it tohappen. No. He was that willing
to? This is what I'm willing todo about it. Yeah. So what did
you say?
I said, No. I'm gonna do it.
Okay. And I did it. And it wasamazing. I never showed it to
(10:58):
anybody. When the final productcame out, I didn't show it to
anybody. It was just me and mymanager. Because it was almost
like this dark secret. Okay, youknow, because I was still so
there was so much shame aboutsexual expression. And
(11:21):
sexuality.
Did you have immediate regretfor doing it? No, never. It was
just, I don't want any judgmentfrom this.
I don't want any judgment.
Exactly. I didn't want anyjudgment. So has anybody seen
it? Ever? No. I think my sistermaybe I showed her. That was it.
(11:43):
And, and it was a beautiful,beautiful photoshoot. Beautiful
photos.
I love to hear you say that,that's awesome. That you can at
least attach to that feeling.
Amazing was one of the bestmoments.
Okay, so looks like we've got alot of places to talk about.
(12:07):
Let's let us let's touch on howthat took you to where you are
now. Why are you in such abetter place in your soul?
So my whole you know, my wholelife. I was kind of, since I was
a teenager, I was always verysexual. For even for a teenager,
(12:28):
I was always reading. You know,like, in Russia, we had these
like, newspapers about just likecrime. And I remember there was
a little section of like sex,okay, like, even like rape, or
even like anything to do withsex. At that time. I think it
was just like anything thathappened, you know, rape or
(12:50):
whatever. I was news updates.
Yeah. And that was the onlysexual kind of information that
I could get. Yeah. You know,that was and I remember being so
curious about just like sex. AndI remember having crushes on my
women teachers, and I couldn'ttell anybody. Okay, because it
(13:11):
was just such a taboo,especially in Russia. Yeah.
How old were you?
I want to say I was 789.
So seven, eight or nine, man,that's the age to find a crush
on a teacher.
Yes. In fact, I got in troublewhen I was seven or eight. And
(13:35):
remember, it wasn't a firstgrade and Russia. Yeah. And I
remember we, we mean, threeother girls used to hide in the
closet in the break, and used totouch each other, like take
panties off and used to toucheach other. And it was like the
(13:59):
highlight of my life. Sure. Atthat age. Yeah. But it was such
a dark secret. We knew ifanybody find out, we're dead.
And one time the teacher opensthe fucking door shit. The next
thing I know my parents arecalled in. Everybody's parents
are called in. Yeah. And then myfather finds out. And of that as
(14:27):
a seven or eight year old child,a girl. He was so disappointed
in me. And he was so just like,I don't know if it was. No, it
wasn't discussed that he wasjust so ashamed of me that he
didn't even hug me. Or heignored me which felt like for a
(14:50):
month. I don't know how long itwas but to me, I would say my
childhood you know who they saylike what time what age your
childhood It ends like, I know,that's when my childhood ended.
At the age of eight. Yeah, whatI felt. There's definitely
something wrong with me. I'mtotally damaged.
(15:12):
Wait, at that point. Yourthought was, I'm damaged?
Yes. I'm a sexual like, I didn'teven know what that was. I just
thought there's like, I'm, Iremember feeling just I did
something so wrong.
All based on how everybody elsereacted. Yeah, no, no,
no, no, no, I felt amazing. Youknow, I felt amazing. And I just
(15:36):
felt that I committed a crime.
Yeah. And, you know, when we'rekids, we want our parents love.
What do we want? We want lovefrom parents.
The punishments other than theirlooks must have been so harsh.
To make you carry this feelingof doing something so wrong.
(15:57):
Yeah. What were theconsequences?
Consequences was from from whatI remember, it was my I don't
remember my mom do anythingabout it was more my dad. Yeah,
he was just not acknowledgingme. Not I tried to give him a
(16:17):
hug, he would turn me down. I'msorry. And it was just, you
know, just rejection that like,cruel. That seemed like a very
cruel rejection of your father.
That's harsher than anythingthat the school could have done.
100%.
(16:38):
How? Knowing hearing this storynow, for the first time, you've
obviously carried it with you.
So how do you feel now aboutthat? The way your dad reacted?
You know, I there's a lot ofanger when I was going through,
you know, when I was workingthrough that, I really had a lot
(17:00):
of anger towards my dad, for avery long time. A lot of
resentment, a lot of anger. Myteenage years are awful, because
he hated my dad, you know. Butlike, I know, in those teenage
years why you hated him ordidn't know, you just hated him.
I just we just never got along.
Yeah, it was just really tough.
(17:21):
But now looking back, you know,it was based off that.
Yes. Because I feel like Iwanted to kind of because it was
so shameful. And I haven't dealtwith it yet. I just wanted to
bury that, you know, kind oflike, somewhere deep down. I
don't want to go there. Neverhappened. Nobody needs to know,
it almost has to be like that.
Because it's so such a bag ofworms to open up. Absolutely. I
(17:42):
can imagine you've you stillprobably have never talked to
him about it.
I haven't. No, I've spoken to mymom about it. And that's another
thing. I've talked to my dadabout a lot of things and he's
apologized about a lot ofthings. Okay. Yeah. He, he
basically said, like, look,that's the best I I knew how to
(18:05):
be how to do answer. Yeah. Andand, you know, he's, I know, my
dad loved me. Yeah. And he, Iknow, he did his best. You know,
I just being a parent myself.
Now. I do different. You know,I, I'm, we're very sex positive
in our house. You know? It'slike, your daughter is a
(18:31):
teenager. She's 17. Yeah. Well,she knows how I struggled. Yeah.
And she knows she knows about,you know, I've only fans. And
she, she knows about it. Atfirst, she was very kind of
vocal about it. She doesn't likethat. So it was a journey,
because she was old enough wherewe could have a conversation.
(18:53):
And I could explain to her thatit's my body, an adult, and I
get to do what I want. And Iwant and I sat her down and
said, What are your concerns?
What are your objections? Whydon't you like it? What and she
was able to tell me what herfears were, you know, like, she
(19:16):
didn't want boys in her schoolto tease her. Because she
already blocked so many peoplefrom my social medium. And I
kind of I totally, you know, Iunderstood that it's a it's a
legit reason and concern. And wetalked about it and we just kind
of work through some of thethings and I said, Sasha, her
(19:40):
name is Sasha. And I said, themore you embrace that within me
within yourself, the more itwon't bother you. And I feel
like now we laugh about it. Likeit's kind of like, I take a
picture and I'm like, What doyou think she's like, is it for
only fans? I was like, Yeah,Good. Good. Yeah, I printed.
(20:02):
Yeah.
I'm surprised she came around sofast, aren't you?
It took a few months for it'sfast six months, maybe.
I mean, I was a kid, my mom wasdoing only fans. I'm pretty sure
I'd be putting up a stink forquite a while. Yeah. How about
you? Because you, you went toher because you wanted her to be
(20:24):
comfortable? Yes. That's why youasked her. What are your
concerns? Yes. What if she hadnever come around?
I thought about that. And Iactually, you know, I spoke, I
spoke about it with one of mymentors at the time. And he just
(20:48):
kind of walked me through, youknow, that at the end of a day,
you're an adult, and she doesn'thave to like what you do, she
just has to respect you and yourdecision. As an adult,
I know, it's weird for me, I'mnot a parent, as you know, that
(21:09):
sounds on paper. ideal. But atthe same time, this is a child
that you're living with. And Isay child, but she's 17 still a
child. But you know, you get mypoint. You want her to be happy
with her with her parent figure.
You don't want to hold no moreof a grudge than a teenager
would hold against a parent.
(21:33):
There had to be some sort ofstronger dilemma than just like,
well, she's gotta let me do whatI want to do.
Well, yes. I look at it thisway. You know, at the end of the
day, I don't, you know, I don'tlive for my child. I'm there as
(21:59):
a mother. My job is to make sureshe is always protected, fed,
supported, giving the best as amother that I can do for her.
But at the end of the day, shedoesn't get to decide what I do.
You know, as long as I'm nothurting anybody. I, I believe
(22:21):
that even if she doesn't supportin the beginning, which was
normal for any teenage kid, Iknew that eventually, with some
patience with me more explainingand more like being patient with
her, she will come around. Andthat's kind of exactly what
happened. Yeah. Because I toldher, you know, me and her have a
(22:42):
really good relationship. Idon't try to be a friend. I'm
still her mother. Good. I tellher. Even you know, she's an
actress, and she auditions for alot of movies and TV shows and
all that stuff. She has a greatteam. And she's already at that
age where she gets sent outauditions where there's a lot of
kissing almost 16 It's almostlike, you know, and I told her,
(23:05):
I said, at the end of the day,it's your decision. Whatever you
decide to do or not to do ifyou're 19 or over 18 and you
choose to show your breasts onTV. I support you. I think
that's beautiful. At the end ofthe day, it's your choice. Don't
(23:26):
listen to your boyfriend. Don'tlisten to your father. Don't
listen to me. Listen toyourself.
How awesome Are you? I try thisquestion pops up into my head
because I feel like it's anatural inquiry for me and I got
(23:47):
her some other people are gonnathink of it. I know you
mentioned that if she wanted todo a topless TV show or movie.
But what if it was somethinglike only fans? She decided to
go on only for you told her doit. You've already told her to
do it.
You told her do it. Okay. Yeah.
I said to her there's nothing.
(24:08):
You know, what is the differencethat she goes on Instagram and
shows whatever bikini shots?
Yeah. And if she does the sameon only fancy gets paid. It's up
to her what she wants to do. Youknow what I mean? I want to make
sure that she doesn't have anyshame about showing her body or
being sexually expressed. She'sold enough especially after 18
(24:36):
You mentioned the sexualexpression and I know that's
important to you because youwere so repressed Yes. As a kid
growing up into your throughyour teenage years. Tell me more
about that. Why Why was that thecase? And how did you finally
get away from it some 20 yearslater?
I think it's was you know, Igrew up on his Becca Stan so
(24:59):
it's very A kind of old fashion,you know, men are whatever the
kings and women are belong in akitchen with raising kids. You
know, just kidding. Sure. Butyou know, I saw my mom, you
know, she's an extremely smartwoman. And she was, she had a
(25:24):
very high position at her job.
And then when she got married tomy dad, my dad was a musician
was making a lot more money thanmy mom. And, you know, when mom
had me, my dad basically toldher that you have to quit your
job and stay and be a stay athome mom, and she didn't want
to, and I didn't want my mom toshe used to take me to work.
(25:46):
That was my, like, firstmodeling job. She worked for
fashion house. She was she hadan accounting team there. Yeah.
And so they hired me as a model.
I was like, seven, eight, Idon't know, it was like my first
job, basically. And I had somuch fun. And I was just like,
so heartbroken that basically mydad gave her an ultimatum, like,
(26:09):
either you stay at home, or wehad a divorce. So she stayed at
home with us. And I saw my momkind of like, losing that power
dynamic. Even just that zest,right, that zest and just, you
know, kind of like started nottaking care of her as much. And,
(26:31):
you know, became a housewife. Imean, listen, I'm so grateful to
my mother gave me so much loveand to my sister. But I think I
would have loved to see herhappy. I think for any kid, we
just want to see our parentshappy. And that's why comes back
to my own daughter. I feel like,at the end of the day, if her
(26:52):
mom is happy, you know, she'shappy, because when I was
miserable, and pissed off andoverstressed. Who would I take
it out on? Yeah, my daughter,right? She would you know, she
would get the ship from it.
She benefits from yourhappiness.
I absolutely. Want to.
I would assume you make money.
You make money off only fans?
(27:15):
Yes, of course. How much doesthat play into? You wanting to
do it and you expecting yourdaughter to say, I'm going to do
what I want to do?
You mean how much money drivesit? Okay, yeah, sure. for me or
for you, for me?
How much have you tried todefend it to your daughter is
(27:36):
like, look, I'm making money.
See, Isee. I see. You know, to me, I
started my only fans. Notbecause of money. Okay? Because
I have a business. I have amassage therapy business. And I
have a team working and youknow, we've been, I've I've had
this business for last sixyears. And that's kind of been
(27:59):
my main business, you know, sofor only fans. I, when I first
heard about it a few years ago,I was like, What is this
bullshit? Like? That sounds waytoo good to be true. Like, it's
gotta be some fucking scam.
What did you hear?
I just, you know, I heard like,hearing their only fans a
(28:21):
YouTubed about it. And, youknow, they were people saying
the girls saying like, Oh myGod, this how much we get? And I
was like, bullshit. I was such askeptic so much, ya know what I
was like, There's no way even ifit's not like, even if it's
like, whatever, even if it's athird of that. Yeah. Like,
you're just posting pictures,and you're getting paid like
fucking bullshit. Like I sewedthem by, they probably hold it,
(28:42):
and they never give it to you.
Like it was just sounded toogood. Right. So then, few years
later, I, you know, I startedinvesting really, a lot and
coaches and mentors. And God,it's been a life changing
changer for me. And so one of mymentors had an only fans and I
was like, huh, I don't, I don'tknow. And I knew at that point,
(29:10):
it had to be real because, youknow, I trust her. She was my
coach. Yeah. And then I startedworking with her coach, we both
started kind of being in a sameit was like this mastermind we
had and our mentor his wife wasan only fans model Jesus.
(29:30):
And so a lot of people do andonly fans Yes, I have a lot
of friends that do that. And,and they were just thriving in
it. They've been doing it foralready four or five years and
making decent money. And I waslike, this this not a
coincidence. Like he just, youknow, what is it like? Kismet?
(29:52):
Yeah, it's just like, basically,I came back to that anyway, I
got to try it and the fact thatI had so much resistance. I had
so much judgment around onlyfans. I knew that in order for
me to get to the other side, Ineed to heal all the shit, all
this judgment, all the shame. Itwas such a long process. And so
(30:17):
with my mentor, we worked somuch. I felt that, you know,
only fans were horse slots, theysaw their body like they're just
the most. I mean, like bimbosare not smart. And then I
started, you know, and he'slike, Well, is that true? I was
like, No, it's not true. BecauseI see so many smart and
(30:38):
beautiful women do that and justcreating a business out of it
and being so brilliant about it,because it is a business. Yeah.
And they've run it as abusiness. I just knew that.
There's so much fear about whatpeople think what my parents
would my friends and family,they're gonna think like, I'm
(31:01):
fucking insane. Yeah. So it waskind of just like, for that
reason. I knew I wanted to be onit. Because there's so much
resistance, and there's so muchfear. And I knew once I overcome
it, it's like a healing ofitself. I suppose that was my
drive. Yeah.
That's a huge portion of it toovercome. For me personally, if
(31:23):
I was doing only vans, my fearswould be about family and
friends seeing me naked. Okay,that's me personally,
if you want to be naked, youdon't have to be. But yeah.
Well, vulnerable in some way.
Yeah. How do you get past thefact that John over, you know,
(31:45):
the grocery clerk at Vons, whoyou see all the time is now
going to see topless?
You know, it's interesting. I'mgoing to tell you some stories.
Some incidents, actually. I'vehad that happen even. So I have
a friend. And she's a reallyclose friend. And so her son,
(32:09):
who's in his early 20s.
I love the tone came down.
Sign up for my only fan. Yeah.
And you know, at first I wasconflicted. I was like, fuck,
like, right, right.
That's a great example. Yeah.
Andthen I thought about I was like,
Okay, well, he's over 21. Andover 18, whatever. I'm pretty
(32:30):
sure he's over 21 at this point.
And I was like, well, listen, Iam. I'm not ashamed of doing
what I don't hide it. I talkabout it. There's media about
it. You know, there's articlesabout it. So it's not like, I
knew that if I'm going to put itout there. Yeah, I'm not going
(32:51):
to change my name. My name staysthe same, right? It's in my bio,
like, in my Instagram and mysocial media, you can always
look it up. If I'm going to doit, I'm going to do it the right
way. I'm not going to hideit. What is the right way? For
me, right way for me is totallyembrace it. And whoever wants to
(33:12):
come in, I have to be socomfortable with doing what I'm
doing that no matter who comesdoesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
In fact, recently so funny. Ialso offer Skype calls. Okay.
It's like one on one kind oflike, if you're only fans. Yes.
So it's kind of like, like anintimate it could be about
(33:35):
anything sexy time. Yeah, itcould be some people just want
to connect, believe it or not.
Wow. Yeah. But it's so I've hadboth. I've had where people just
want to connect, then they don'treally want to go to sexy time.
And I've had people that weconnect at first and then I kind
of want to go to sexy time. Idon't know, it's kind of just
(33:55):
different. You know,how long? How long does a phone
call last?
Well, I've choices so you canhave 30 minutes, 45 minutes or
an hour? Damn, yeah.
That's a long time. I gotta askyou, I'm not asking you
actually. But I gotta say, Iknow. You must make a lot of
(34:17):
money.
I make okay. I, um, it's, youknow, it's it's still not main
business, not a main business.
But I want to make it a mainbusiness for sure. Okay, so my,
I definitely want to make a lotmore like I'm open to and that's
the thing. I don't push myselfto do anything I'm not
(34:40):
comfortable in doing so even ifit means making a little less
money. I'm okay with it. Becauseit's not like this is not only
money to me, I want to enjoywhat I do. I said to myself, I'm
gonna love what I do whatever itis I I like that because money
alone is not going to make. No,that really makes me happy.
(35:06):
Because I've known a few peoplethat have gone to only fans. I
don't know why. I hope I'm notsharing too much. But, you know,
my first thought is, theysuccumbed to the money, because
who couldn't? I would if I was agirl, I'd be on only fans in a
second. But I'm glad to hear yousay that, because you're doing
(35:30):
it because you want to the moneyis secondary. And I believe you.
I think that's a very good pointto make to you right now. I
think some people might say thatnow I'd be like, Yeah, okay.
Sure. But with you and know you,at least the girl, the woman I
know, sitting before me today istelling the truth. So I don't
know. I like that. What What areyou saying to people who still
(35:53):
aren't in agreement with you?
Who's who are close to you? Andyou're like, wow, what the fuck
are you doing?
I am okay with that. Everybodyhas a different journey. And you
know, I was just like them justa few years ago, even like a
year ago, you know what I mean?
So I came around, and I seelike, people that judge the most
(36:13):
or the ones the one at the most,they just don't realize it. You
know, when we are triggered bysomebody, usually it's like
this. You either you eitherattract people that are
triggered. So those people maybedeep down one it but haven't
admitted to themselves. So it'slike pisses them off, and
(36:34):
they're like, fuck her, she's,she's a whore, whatever. Or it's
the people. They're like, Oh, myGod, I want to do it to do you
know how many people wrote to mewomen, said, Lana. I want to do
only fans to but I'm so scaredof people think good for them to
turn to you. I like that. Andthey just, you know, and they
(36:54):
said, Thank you for doing whatyou're doing. You've given us
permission to do the same to tryas well. Yeah, as a mother as a
single mother.
How awesome. Does that make youfeel?
It makes me feel good. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm happy for you. And notonly I want to say also, like,
you know, people might thinklike, oh, only Vance is like,
(37:16):
Man objectify you. But it's sonot that I was when I opened my
only fans. And granted, I hadmentors who have done it, who
showed me how they do it. And Iwas like, Holy fuck, you can do
it that way. They had suchrespect with their subscribers,
and it was just so loving. Andso like, connected that he was
(37:41):
like, there's no disrespect. Andso I was like, I want that I
wanted that way. And now it's sofunny. You know, people can
order some videos. I usuallydon't do a lot of custom videos,
but sometimes I do it. If itfeels
good if you refuse it so a lot.
(38:02):
Yeah, I just don't really like Iusually want to create my own. I
don't like when people tell me.
Oh, I want you to do this. This.
I don't know. It's just maybeI'm just like, Oh, don't tell me
what to do. Wow. Yeah. But butthat's a whole different
ballgame. Exactly. But now Iopened up actually more to
suggestions because I don't, I'mkind of I trust them more. And
(38:25):
so it's interesting, likeliterally, I one of my
subscribers who's like been withme for I don't know, a year,
maybe a little less and who'sbots spend so much money. And
he's like, he's asking me to dothese videos and and I tell him
like, Oh, this is uncomfortablewith this is and he's like,
super respect. He's like, Wouldyou feel comfortable, blah,
(38:47):
blah, blah. And it's sointeresting. And I said, you
know, not yet maybe later. He'slike, I just love to see you
grow into your expansion. And Inever want you to do anything.
You're not comfortable. Thatgood for him. You know? And
that's just one I have so manylike that. Yeah, I have so many,
literally one of my subscribersrecently, he's like, Oh my god,
(39:11):
like your breasts are nearlyperfect. Are they real or not?
And I was like, actually,they're not. He's like, Well, a
friend of mine just had a babyand she's really looking for a
Sergent, do you think you cangive me the information? I was
like off course. And I totallygave him all the information of
my doctor everything so it justthose kinds of conversations
like there's real friendshipsthere's real and they get to see
(39:35):
me topless and you know but thenagain, I I needed to show to
myself that just because you'renude your topless doesn't give
people a right to objectify youand doesn't have to be that way
what people told me that is nottrue.
(39:59):
What People told you what do youmean?
When I you know, growing upsociety, my parents just like a
few are naked. If you showwhatever your heart you're,
you're gonna be treated as suchyou will not be
respected. And you don't feellike that's happened? Absolutely
not.
No, I also run a businessmassage business. A lot of my
(40:20):
clients from my business went tomy only fans, how
does that work? Do they see youand say, Oh my God, that last
post was so beautiful. Yes, theydo. They see you in person and
respond? Well,I don't see my clients myself.
You know, they know it's mycompany. Right? But yeah, they,
they totally do. Or some of themwant to do coaching with me. I
(40:43):
also do coaching for men. So alot of my only fan subscribers,
book me for coaching. So it'scrazy. I know. It's crazy kind
of how everything kind ofcrosses over. Yeah, but I wanted
to, I wanted to have it thatway. Where there's no shame,
there's transparency. And peopleknow what I do. And that's why I
(41:08):
share everything. I share my agethat I have a daughter, what I
do about what I believe in. So Iwant people to have a real
connection to me. And I feellike they do and that makes it
so much better for for both forall of us.
Do you this thought just cameinto my head right now we you
(41:28):
and I have shared that we'rereally enjoying each other's
company. And is this? Do youhave this with everybody?
I don't. And in fact, this is myfirst podcast, and I just feel
so comfortable. And yeah, youmade me feel so safe and
(41:50):
comfortable. Like? Yeah, I hope.
Yeah, it continues to be likethat. No, it's
gonna stop right now.
Now with you, I mean, justpodcast.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
I hope it's as good as it ishere.
Well, and the only reason thatquestion comes from is because
there's a undeniable, joy oflife. And you express love. And
(42:16):
I don't say that lightly. Youreally do. It emits from you. So
it's like, well, it can't justbe me. She's I'm not I know. I'm
a great guy. You must share thissort of energy with whoever you
come across. Yeah, it's just inyou now.
Yeah, I just, I feel like themore I started loving myself,
(42:43):
the more I started lovingpeople, and just the more I
stopped being judgmental ofmyself, I stopped being
judgmental of other people, Ihave more empathy. My heart is
much more open. You know, Itrust where before, none of it
and my life was misery honestly.
(43:05):
Will you marry me later ontonight? Yes, thank you. We
gotta go. It's neat, because Ihave changed over the years
through taking care of myselfself care and learn to read
reframing my brain as you have.
And so there is nothing greaterthan being with somebody who
(43:27):
understands the language withwith actually the non language
of the language. Anyway, I'mdone complimenting you. You're
pretty awesome,though. Thank you. Sorry, you,
Mike. Thankyou. Um, but you would mention
you have a business as a massagebusiness. Yes. And I know from
(43:51):
talking to you before that youhad issues with the business
that you're not really happyabout.
You know, I I started thebusiness kind of by accident
because I was so broke. And, youknow, I worked for somebody for
(44:12):
a company for a friend and I wasa booker. And then I, you know,
I work until the company kind ofwent under and then somebody, a
friend of mine who worked forthat company, asked me let me
teach you massages, I was like,hell no mana touching anybody
(44:34):
should not massaging anybody.
That's a Fuck no, she's like,you'll make a lot of money. And
I was so broke at that time. Iwas just like, what else like,
God helped me.
I got to imagine it had sexualconnotation to you when she
mentioned it. You know,it didn't because I knew
everybody who I knew wereprofessionals. But I knew of
that by being a broker. Yeah, Iknew what it entailed. all's I
(44:58):
knew that people solicit? And Iknow what it's like to be on the
booking side. So I did not wantto experience what it is. I
don't want to be in the room.
Exactly. I don't want to be inthe room. So out of desperation,
I said yes to her. I was like,fuck it. I'm like, I don't have
(45:22):
another choice. Like, literally,I was so broke. I'm a single
mom, and I need to make money.
So I said, Yes, she taught me infour or five days how to do a
certain type of massage. And Istarted doing it and started
making so much more money like10x Everything I was,
(45:44):
you know, making before just mymassage, none of that.
No, nothing, just massages. Yes.
We did house calls we did incalls. And then we six months
later, I had a falling out witha girl, we had a fight about
something stupid, really stupid,but both were emotionally not
intelligent enough to deal withour emotions. Okay, you know, so
(46:09):
we kind of just dealt like twohigh school girls, which is like
almost pull in hair, which is sostupid. So I kinda was forced to
open up my own. So at thatpoint, I already knew some
massage therapists and I knewhow the business runs, I knew
how to market it. And I slowlystopped doing massages myself,
(46:34):
and kind of just became abusiness owner and running it
and, you know, bookingappointments and dealing with
the clients and all of that,which I really kind of enjoyed.
So yeah, but the part of thebusiness, especially before when
I was first starting out, it wasa lot of, you know, we
(46:57):
experienced a lot ofsolicitations. And even if, with
booking I would say, you know,what kind of massage it is that
is therapeutic, and there'snothing else and, you know, I
was always straightforwardupfront with that. Yes, very
much. So because I didn't wantthe girls to go in the room and
have this horrible experience.
(47:17):
And they trust me, because, youknow, I'm the person who speaks,
but it's hard because like,there's only so much you can do
once they get in the room. Ifthat guy wants to solicit, he's
going to do it. Andthat's what ended up happening.
But interesting enough, becauseit's so I don't know how much
you're into energy and all ofthat because I'm into that.
(47:38):
Okay. Well, I used to have somuch distrust for men, and so
much resentment. And because Ithink a lot of a lot of it came
from my dad that wasn't dealtwith or healed. Okay, so of
course, you know, there's asaying the way we do one thing
(47:59):
is the way we do everythingelse. So I would say all the men
in my life, whether a orclients, men, I dated friends, I
had this, like, mistrust andeven when I met you, that's why
was you so standoffish. I waslike that with everybody with
(48:20):
every guy. So obviously, whenyou expect the worst, guess what
you can attract the worse. Iagree, you know, and I was
attracting people like what weafraid of, and what we project.
It's literally attracting that.
And it's so interesting now, somany years later, when I heal
(48:44):
that, kind of like this. Thisthing this like, resentment and
hatred for men. Yeah. I have themost incredible clients, the
most incredible clients thathave nothing but the utmost
respect for my therapist. I'vemaybe there's solicitation maybe
(49:06):
like a 1%. And it's so funnyeven the way they do they ask
like can I ask you a question?
Like, I was like, yes. Do youguys do they don't even say it?
I was like, No, we don't. Oh,thank you so much. I'm sorry. I
hope it's not uncomfortable.
Literally like that. There'snothing that's where I get upset
(49:29):
about fight them for no, none ofthat. None of that because I
feel that I have so much loveand you know, I'm just open and
we've attract that since thebiggest names you know, from a
list actors to God two musiciansGrammy, whatever, you name it,
(49:51):
the biggest stars.
Well, and that is surprising tome personally, because in my
opinion, which I think might bequite a few people's opinions. I
would think those people are theones that would be soliciting.
They don't. They don't. Theydon't, they actually don't.
Because I think that maybe they,they've been, you know, taught
(50:14):
that, you know, they have somuch on the line, it's not worth
it. Right, what they, usuallythe people that used to do that
would be the people who were,you know, the CEOs, the the
attorneys, the doctors that kindof work a lot and have a lot of
money, and can pretty much buywhatever, you know, so we would
(50:37):
be those kind of people thatdon't have time for whatever
relationships or whatever, andthey have families, but they
would come to us and try to kindof negotiate, you know,
something extra.
So the one time we were talkingabout it, it seemed like it was
a big issue for you. But the wayyou're talking about it now, it
(50:59):
doesn't seem like it's that bigof an issue. Yeah. So
I would say the last year, Ifeel like there was a shift, I
would say maybe the last six toeight months before it was a big
issue. But I feel like the moreI started working through kind
(51:24):
of like my issues with men.
Yeah. And they kind of healedeverywhere. Everywhere in dating
clientele. Clients subscriberseverywhere.
The positiveness just surroundedyou. Yeah. And you know it
(51:46):
because it's the work you putinto it.
For a lot of work. Yeah.
Let me ask you, I always like toask people because I know what I
did to change who I am, if youwill, what sort of self care to
what did you do to get where youare now?
There's a lot so I started rightafter my breakup. That was
(52:08):
really bad. Actually. After Imet you. I had a you know, I was
on a relationship with somebody,which was really toxic. As you
know, I mentioned to you or youactually had an issue with that
we had I had you as aphotoshoot. Yes. You're a second
probably nude photo shoot. Uhhuh. And then you had
(52:30):
a semi nude was a nude was atopless? I don't remember. Oh,
it was topless. For sure. I'mnot sure definitely non nude but
topless. I want to sayunderstood. Yeah.
But he at the end of the day, hewas like, What the fuck is this?
Yeah, Ihid it from him. Because he
didn't want me to do it. You hidthe fact that we were doing it?
Yeah, first place you didn'tknow? No. And then when he found
out it was such a big fight. Andwe had a huge I mean, it was
(52:56):
huge. It was a breakup. Yeah.
And then we got, I should haveleft that at that. Of course, we
got back together. And it wenteven worse. Now there's no trust
whatsoever. You know, he wasgoing through all my shit, my
phone, my computer, likeeverything, got all my
passwords, like was insane. Youknow, such a horrible
(53:19):
relationship. So after thatfinally ended. A girl who used
to work for me said like, Hey,listen, I have the shaman. To
you wanna? I was like, hookedup. Fuck a shaman. She's like,
just go check them out. He'sreally good. If you want some
kind of like, different, youknow, healing good. Because I
(53:42):
had psychiatrist psychologist.
None of that should help to me,none of it. And I'm sorry for
years. Yeah. So I was like, shegave me the number. I called him
that day. I booked them thatday. God damn.
I was it was a greatopportunity. Oh, yeah.
Desperation, meets opportunity.
Yes.
(54:03):
And he was kind of like my firstdive into healing and energy and
all of it. He told me, you know,he just started working with me
and kind of like, cleaning myspirit or whatever. And that,
you know, I started going to himevery week, I want to say for
(54:26):
like a few months. Yeah. Andthat opened up to opportunities
for possibilities for me tostart searching for more for
more healers. So I would go tohypnotherapists. I would go to
(54:48):
coaches I would hire I wouldhire and pay anybody. I was so
desperate. I was like justanything. Anything I came across
I would buy whatever money I wasmaking
was, whatever said I can makeyou a better person. Yes,
yes. I didn't care. I didn'tcare because I was like, I can't
(55:11):
live like this. I can't I can.
This is not this was justawfulness. You know what I mean?
Like, anytime I would get into arelationship, I just in every
part, I was fighting with peoplethat was working for me. I was
fighting with my parents, I hadbad relationships. It was just,
I was I didn't have a goodrelationships, a relationship
with my daughter, we were alwaysfighting. So everything in my
(55:34):
life seemed like was a disaster.
I mean, from the outside, itlooked like, you know, I was
running a business. You know, Iwas dating constantly, I was
like, being wined and dined. Butinside. I just felt, first of
(55:55):
all, unworthy. Just so unworthy,and so not good enough. You
know? So even if somebody woulddo something nice for me, I just
leave and quit and receive itbecause I felt like well, I'm
not I'm not worthy of it. So Icouldn't receive love.
(56:16):
This isn't happy. So this meansnothing to me. Of course,
like nobody, no matter how manycompliments, no matter how many
gifts I got, I just was numbbecause I just didn't feel or
they. Yeah. So I just, you know,continued continued. It was a
long journey. from Tony Robbinsto books. I mean, it was
(56:39):
breeding nonstop. I would investin coaches. I remember the first
coach I hired, I literally hadno money. But I was like, I
don't care. I if it helps me 20%It's worth it. And it did. And
(57:00):
it kind of just build up littleby little by little, I mean to
this day spend 1000s of dollars,and I don't regret anything.
Even the shitty investments thatI made. They still brought me to
some good ones. Yeah. Yeah.
I like that. And the one youmentioned, Tony Robbins. Was
that a help? Was that helpful?
(57:21):
You know, I think Tony Robbinsis great. In fact, you know, I
did all his I remember like, Idon't know, if 10 years ago, I
bought his like, what do theylike videos or whatever of his
like, programs, right? And Iknew, and I started listening to
(57:45):
them, I was really, really likedepressed in life, because I was
in a really bad, you know, badrelationship, bad marriage, we
were both not happy. And so Ikind of started, I told my ex
husband, I was like, let's dothis together. And kind of
reluctantly, he agreed. And thenwe realized, and I realized that
(58:06):
Oh, my God, like, I should notbe married. This is not a good
marriage. Like I had to actuallybe honest with myself. And I
think Tony Robbins helped mewith that good kind of was a
first step. And then I did a lotof different, you know,
different I spent so much money,but it's easy to spend money on
(58:28):
those things.
It was crazy how much money infact, me and my ex husband, you
know, we're in good terms now.
And we did it together afterbeing divorced. We invested in
it. After the divorce, yeah,after the divorce we because
like, we, you know, we both wantto be the best parents to our
(58:48):
daughter, and we're really goodparents. So, you know, we're
both young and stupid. He hadanger issues, and I had my own
issues. We were not perfect. Sonow I feel like you know, we
both know kind of where we wentwrong. And so, you know, Tony
Robbins helped, but he was oneof many. I can't say he was the
(59:09):
one butI will tell you in my journey. I
went through a few and I didn'tspend 1000s But I definitely
spent money. And Kyle Cece, haveyou
heard of oh my god, I love him.
I think is he Yeah, I think Iknow who he is. And if it is I
love him.
He's my guy. I just love him. Ilove the simplicity of his
(59:33):
approach. And he's got humor.
He'sYes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes.
That's him. I love him. He wasgoing to rip me right. Yes,
that's how I found him. He wasgoing to rip me out and he was
doing that I Wasco whatever. Ilove him. I know. Oh my god.
Yes.
(59:54):
Well, I'm just glad. I'm gladbecause I can see the change in
you and I don't say thatlightly.
Yeah, it's for you. Yeah.
I've said to you 72 times sinceyou've been here, how I can just
feel the love between the two ofus. And I don't say that as any
come on or anything. It's just,I feel you, you are right here.
(01:00:16):
And we're sharing our hearttogether. And it's awesome.
Yeah, I feel it. Yeah.
It's undeniable. We're actually,you made me, I usually like to
make everybody look at the starson my TV, and you're like, can
we just look at each otheraction? I want to see your eyes,
Michael.
(01:00:37):
All right. I'll try that. And Itold you, as you were calling.
Alright, well, we'll do. We'llstart with looking at each
other. And then we'll look atthe stars. And as you've
noticed, I never went back tothe stars. This is
so much better this way. I thinkpersonally.
(01:00:57):
It's better this way for you.
And I, it really worked. Becauseof this connection that we feel
tonight. I still want to use thestars for my other guests. But
for you, it's this like, it'llbe that moment when I've done
200 podcasts. And somebody says,Have you ever not used the stars
and Alec be able to say onetime?
(01:01:21):
Well, I'm glad you liked it. Idefinitely enjoyed this.
Stop smiling.
I'm waiting foran interview. Am I interviewing
you? No,no, but I'm just like, I'm, I'm
interested. You know, whereelse?
(01:01:43):
Yeah, no, I like it. Tell mesomething's on your mind that
you want me to talk to youabout? No, you don't have to
make it up. I just thoughtI'm just trying to see maybe
there is got it. You know, Ijust I just I want to see more
women being expressed. I reallydo. Because I know. Let me tell
(01:02:14):
you something. Every woman wantsto feel desire. This man wants
to feel beautiful. Yeah, at anyage, at any shape. But there's
so much fear of judgment.
There's so much fear to reallyshow up to pose that sexy
(01:02:35):
picture to pose that there's somany beautiful people inside
out. Beautiful women that Ipersonally know, that are so
horrified. Like they'reterrified to pose even a picture
because, you know, they want tobe admired. They want to be
seen. They want to be desired.
They want to be told they'rebeautiful, but they're so
(01:02:56):
scared. So if I can be the lightfor people to see that if I can
do it, being a mother being asingle mother, being a
successful entrepreneur, being acoach being respected by men,
date amazing men. Yeah, I've,you know, men that I dated like
(01:03:18):
Forbes 30, under 30. And I getthe most respect, and they know
what I do. So I want to showwomen that that's possible. That
what they heard and what theylearned before is a bunch of
bullshit from society that tryto control them. Anything
because of that, becausethere's, you know, I show that
(01:03:39):
there's so many sides to me, I'mstill a mom. Yeah. And I have a
great relationship with mydaughter. I am still a sister, a
daughter, a cousin, all myfamily were very close. You
know, my cousins, whatever. Theyknow what I do. They think it's
funny.
(01:03:59):
I gotta assume they've seen you,right?
I mean, they haven't seenthere's gotta be curiosity. They
don't from what I know. I don'tknow. But I don't think you
know, my cousins want to sign upfor my only fans, you know, but
they know what I do. And becausethey feel like because I don't
have shame about it. I've kindof like neutralize it within
(01:04:20):
myself. I'm okay with that.
Yeah, they're okay with that. Atfirst, I was really worried. You
know, like, my daughter's shehas a manager, she has an agent.
And I thought, oh my god, ifthey find out you don't want to,
you're gonna drop her becausethey're gonna be like, we don't
want to associate ourselves withthis shit. You know, and I was
petrified. And you know what?
(01:04:44):
Thanks, you know, to like mycoaches, whatever kind of like I
did the inner work to neutralizeit within myself first and now
they know and oh my God, ourrelationship is even better.
There's no like this.
awkwardness is kind of like,basically the more I accepted it
within myself, people around meaccepted it and those that
(01:05:06):
didn't kind of felt fell away.
Well, that is very true. Youknow that once you know, when we
become who we really are thatpeople are gonna fall away with
a polarizing, like, Yeah, butalso I think it's a way once
again, not to beat a dead horse,but it's the way you handle it
the way who you are kind of sayslike, Oh, look how happy she is
with it. I don't know. You'renot flaunting it. You're not
(01:05:30):
shamed by it. As a matter offact, you're almost just
empowered by it. I am soempowered by it. For sure. Yeah,
like if you had to sing a songright now, which one would it
be?
Is there what's Whitney Houstonsong? Every woman?
(01:05:51):
I'm every woman. I was prettygood. No lie. Give me better
than that. For the people whoare listening, she just kind of
smiled and shook herhead. Yes. It was good.
Nevermind. Bravo. Oh, wow. Iremember when we were friends.
(01:06:17):
So yeah, well, yeah. So westarted this at the beginning,
where I asked you, how have youHow did you make your change?
Where do you How did you go fromthe girl I met 10 years ago, to
who you are now. And you didn'treally answer me way back then.
(01:06:37):
But I think throughouteverything we've talked about,
you have answered me. And I lovethe answer. Yeah. I love your
journey. I love the path. I loveyou, Ilana. If I don't see you
again. I don't know. Yeah, yourenergy is something I don't want
to see every once in a while. SoI'm saying right here right now
(01:06:58):
in front of everybody. Let'shang out more because we're too
cool together.
Yeah, I'm down. Yeah.
But you live all the way down bythe beach. So I don't know. I
didn't come on that far. You gotto come out here.
It's too hot here right now. Isit? It's cooler at the beach.
Right? It's like 20 degrees.
I used to live in Redondo SouthRedondo. Oh my god. And it was
(01:07:24):
so happened. It's just 20degrees cooler. Summer here is
brutal.
Summer here in Hollywood,Hollywood, but
more so even in the valley whereI used to live.
I used to be in Encino,miserable, miserable lives in
Sherman Oaks. Yeah, soI love to Redondo Beach, you
know at night and sleep with thewindow open. Hear the waves
(01:07:46):
crashing?
Yeah, I can't hear the wavescrashing because I'm like, a bit
of a walk. But just the wind andlike the fresh air. Priceless.
Priceless.
All right, Lana, before we go,Yes, I'm gonna ask you to tell
me something nice about me.
Oh, Michael. I'm just sograteful that you invited me
(01:08:11):
because I am having such a greatexperience with you. You are. I
love your spirit. You're justlike a light. You're so
positive. You're funny. I loveyou know, you're smart. And I
love the way you lead thisconversation. And you made me
(01:08:32):
feel so safe. So I appreciateyou.
Okay, hold on, because I waslooking for a joke. Because
nobody, nobody looks for acompliment. But what do you just
said touched me immensely. Sothank you for all that. I'm glad
that I did that for you. Andyeah, I'm gonna cry because I
cry when I get truthful. Butthat means a lot to me what you
(01:08:54):
just said, and I meant it.
That's the thing. I'm a big Isee the truth. And I know it
well, and you were not lying.
And so that's why I had to takethe joke away and actually
respond to you. So thank youagain. Anyway, now say something
funny. We gotta go. We're out ofhere. Say goodbye.
Bye.
(01:09:22):
All right, you guys. Thanks forcoming out. That was awesome.
We're going to be back in acouple of weeks. So hopefully
you'll join us then. And if youfeel so inclined, please leave a
positive review on any of yourfavorite platforms. And if you
didn't like us, of course, thisis Xavier McGillicuddy signing
out for today. It's MichaelVieyra. You knucklehead See you
(01:09:43):
later
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Therapy Gecko
An unlicensed lizard psychologist travels the universe talking to strangers about absolutely nothing. TO CALL THE GECKO: follow me on https://www.twitch.tv/lyleforever to get a notification for when I am taking calls. I am usually live Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays but lately a lot of other times too. I am a gecko.