November 14, 2024 • 22 mins
I would love to hear what comes up for you. Send me a text message :)
Welcome back to Cracked Open. Today, I'm taking you behind the scenes of my life and opening up about what the last year has been like for me as I've leaned into self-trust. This episode is the first of a raw and honest three-part series filled with moments of clarity, powerful practices, and a whole lot of growth and freedom.
If you've ever felt lost, constantly looking outside yourself for answers, only to realize the validation you crave isn’t out there, you might want to stick around and keep listening.
I’m sharing the real, raw story of how everything changed when I finally chose self-trust over external approval. It wasn’t an easy path—letting go of what others think never is—but it was SO worth it. This shift opened the door to deep, unexpected transformation in my career, relationships, and myself.
Here’s a taste of what you’ll discover in this episode:
- The Moment of Clarity – How I realized that self-trust was the key to moving forward and why it felt like both a risk and a revelation.
- The Practices That Built Self-Trust – Simple, life-changing habits and a powerful exercise you can steal.
- The Surprising Results – Choosing myself led to career breakthroughs, viral moments, deeper connections, and a profound sense of freedom.
Please join me as I walk you through the practices and mindset shifts that helped me transform from feeling lost to truly found. Remember to subscribe—this is just part one of the series!Â
If you want to share any insights or revelations from this episode, send me an email at alanna@alannabanks.com or send me a DM on IG @alannabankscoaching.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Have you ever reached a point where you felt like you
just couldn't keep relying oneveryone else's opinion?
Like, deep down, you knew theonly way forward was to trust
yourself, even if that feltterrifying?
Today, I'm sharing the turningpoint in my own journey the
moment I decided to stop lookingfor external validation and
(00:23):
finally go all in on self-trust.
Hi everyone, it feels so goodto be back behind the mic.
It's been a minute since Irecorded an episode and,
honestly, I needed that space toreconnect with what I know I'm
truly here to do, and if you'vebeen following me this past year
(00:45):
, you may have seen things shifta bit.
Maybe you noticed me pullingback or being more intentional
or sharing differently, showingup differently, and I know some
of you might have wonderedwhat's she up to?
What's going on over there?
And the truth is, last November2023, I made a decision that
(01:05):
changed everything.
I decided to stop looking foranswers outside of myself.
I was done with chasingvalidation, done with constantly
wondering if I was doing thingsquote unquote right in someone
else's eyes.
I made the commitment to tuneinto my own inner voice and
trust it, even when it wasreally uncomfortable.
(01:28):
I decided it was time to go allin on me and I'll be real.
It was hard, stepping back fromoutside influences, unfollowing
people I had once idolized,carving out intentional time to
just listen to myself.
It was challenging and it waskind of scary, and I knew people
(01:50):
might be watching, curious oreven skeptical about what I was
up to.
But I needed that space toquiet the noise and hear what my
own voice had to say and theresults.
Hear what my own voice had tosay and the results.
They honestly have blown meaway.
I went viral on Instagram.
I gained over 70,000 followersalmost overnight.
(02:12):
I hit some of my dreamfinancial goals.
I worked with really inspiringpeople.
I created my first course andI've honestly felt more aligned
and happier than I have in years.
My marriage is thriving, I'vereconnected with old friends,
(02:34):
I've met new friends and I foundthe missing piece that I've
been searching for all along,and you probably know what I'm
about to say it's self-trust.
So this is actually part one ofa three-part series that I'm
going to share, really about myown journey, and I'm not just
going to talk about the wins andthe good stuff.
I also am going to talk aboutthe doubts, the discomfort, the
(02:59):
practices that have kept megrounded.
I want to share the real, rawstory with everyone, what's been
going on behind the scenes andalso how you can start to build
a foundation of self-trust,because, trust me, I know what
it feels like to be stuck stuckin the cycle of looking to
(03:21):
everyone else for the answers,and I know how freeing it is to
finally break through and startliving from a place of
confidence, clarity andalignment.
It's awesome, and it almostfeels like I'm cheating
sometimes.
So if you're ready to stopsecond-guessing yourself and to
discover what trusting yourselfcan unlock in your life, then
(03:43):
you're in the right place.
Make sure you subscribe to mypodcast so that you can catch
the full story.
I'll be posting two moreepisodes after this one, and so
let's just dive in and startthis series.
So I want to start by sharing astory with you.
There was a time in my life whenI was so caught up in looking
(04:05):
for answers outside myself thatI didn't even realize I was
doing it.
I was constantly searching forvalidation.
I was devouring every self-helpbook out there, following
people who seemed like they hadit all figured out.
I thought if I can just learnwhat they know, then maybe I'll
finally feel complete.
(04:25):
But there came a point when Icouldn't keep up with that
anymore.
All that searching andlistening to everyone else was
totally draining me and, insteadof feeling inspired or
connected, I felt lost.
It was like I was losing touchwith my own thoughts, my own
wants, my own identity, and Icouldn't remember what I
(04:51):
believed or what I wanted beyondwhat others were telling me I
should be or think.
And then something shifted.
It wasn't a big aha moment.
I didn't have like an epiphanyor anything like that.
It was just a quiet realization.
Honestly, I just thought whatif I stopped?
(05:13):
What if I stopped asking otherswhat they thought?
What if I stopped looking forthe quote unquote right way to
do something?
What if I stopped searching foranswers outside myself and
instead started tuning into whatI thought was best?
And that thought honestly feltreally freeing but also
(05:34):
extremely terrifying.
Part of me was excited, butanother part of me was like what
if I don't know what I'm doing?
What if trusting myself isn'tenough?
I felt this fear, but I alsoknew that this was the only path
that would feel real to me.
(05:55):
I was the one that had to givemyself permission to stop
searching and start listening tomy own voice and from that
place, things started to change.
Little by little, I began touncover my own truth, without
needing someone else to validateit.
I started reconnecting withwhat felt right for me, and
(06:18):
that's when I truly began thisjourney of self-trust, and doing
so has been one of the mostempowering and grounding
decisions that I've ever made.
So, right around this time, Ialso took on a challenge that
forced me to sit in my ownsilence a full hour in complete
(06:39):
stillness no music, no walking,no eating, no journaling, no
napping, nothing, just me, mythoughts, in a room with four
walls.
It sounds simple, right, but asI prepared for it, I could feel
myself resisting every step ofthe way, and even though I was
(07:01):
the one who was setting thisdeadline, I found myself
avoiding it every single time.
I suddenly had a million thingsto do or all this urgent stuff
was needing me in that moment,closed the door, settled in,
ready to power through this hourof silence, and let me tell you
(07:34):
, it was uncomfortable.
The first few minutes feltendless and every part of me
wanted to escape.
I noticed my mind darting torandom thoughts, things I needed
to do later, people I shouldreach out to regrets from years
ago.
And then, when the thoughtsweren't distracting enough, I
found myself fidgeting, glancingaround the room just looking
(07:55):
for anything to occupy my mind.
My mind was pulling out all thestops to avoid being fully
pleasant in that moment.
And here's the thing there wasno big aha moment, no
enlightening download that madeeverything make sense.
It was just me noticing everylittle thought, every urge to
distract myself, everyuncomfortable feeling I'd
(08:17):
usually just push aside, and Irealized how much I'd come to
rely on distraction to avoidjust sitting with myself.
And the silence really strippedthat away.
I was just left with everythingI'd been avoiding or numbing.
But something kind ofinteresting happened in that
messy, awkward stillness.
(08:38):
Layer by layer, all the usualdistractions started to fall
away and underneath them, allthe usual distractions started
to fall away, and underneaththem I was just there.
I was there, no-transcript, Iwas simply just being.
It was raw, it was real, it wasuncomfortable and it was deeply
(09:02):
insightful.
Even though I didn't walk outof that room with some kind of
magic answer or the secret tolife or anything like that.
I had just given myself spaceto exist, to feel and to just be
with my thoughts.
And this experience.
It showed me that choosingself-trust wasn't about waiting
(09:26):
for some kind of life-changingepiphany.
It was about something farsimpler but also a lot more
challenging.
It was about creating space formy own thoughts and learning to
sit with them, even when theywere messy or uncertain or full
(09:47):
of doubt.
And just like you all listeningright now, my mind was full of
the typical what-ifs that comeup when you're about to step
into something new.
What if I mess up?
What if my inner voice isn't aswise as I hope it is?
What if I make the wrong choice?
What if I regret this?
What if people think I'm weird?
(10:08):
What if I'm too much?
What if I don't make sense?
These weren't just passingthoughts.
They were real.
And for so long I'd been basingso many of my decisions on what
others thought or what othersbelieved was right for me.
I'd made choices to fit in, tomeet expectations, to avoid
judgment, but that also meantthat I had lost touch with my
(10:31):
own voice, with what I reallywanted, and unlearning these
patterns is no small task In NLP.
Into ourselves, our minds pushback, and that's why those fears
(11:05):
and those doubts come up sostrongly.
They're our mind's way oftrying to keep us safe.
But I reached a point where Iknew that if I kept letting
those doubts control me, if Istayed in the comfort zone, if I
(11:26):
kept seeking validation fromexternal sources, then I'd never
trust myself, truly trustmyself.
And I realized that self-trustisn't something that just
arrives in a single magicalmoment.
It's built over time, in thosequiet moments when we choose to
lean in to our own guidance,even if it scares us, when we
choose to listen and hear right.
(11:49):
It's the choice to hold spacefor our own thoughts and
feelings, without trying to fixthem or push them away.
And, yeah, it's uncomfortable.
Every time I chose to listen tomyself over the voices around
me, I felt that inner resistance.
But the cool thing was I alsofelt like this quiet strength,
(12:11):
like this sense that I wasreclaiming something that I'd
lost touch with.
And little by little, I startedto see that my inner voice was
worth trusting, that my ownwisdom was just as valid, if not
more so, than the opinions I'dlooked to for so long.
So if you're like I am or wasI'm still working through it and
(12:36):
you're struggling withself-doubt or fear about
listening to your own voice,know that those doubts aren't
there to stop you.
They're just part of theprocess of unlearning old
patterns and creating new ones.
Choosing self-trust isn't easyand it's rarely without
discomfort, but it's a choice.
Every day it's a choice thatleads to something real and
(13:00):
something so deeply groundingand it's really become a
decision that I make over andover to let go of the need for
outside validation and to trustthat I'm enough.
And it's not always smooth andthe doubts still come up, but
each time I choose self-trust,I'm reminded that this journey
isn't about having all theanswers.
It's about knowing that I'mwilling to listen to myself and
(13:25):
find my way forward, no matterhow uncertain it may seem.
So when I decided to make thesechanges, I started small, with
intention.
First, I took a close look atthe influences around me and I
noticed how easy it was for myvoice to get lost in the
constant stream of perspectives,especially online.
(13:47):
So I decided to clear out allof that noise and I unfollowed
hundreds of people that I wasfollowing on Instagram
specifically.
And I unfollowed them notbecause they were wrong, but
because I needed room toreconnect with my perspective.
Sometimes we need space fromothers' influence to really hear
(14:09):
ourselves, and for me, that wasa powerful, powerful step in
reclaiming my own inner voice.
The next thing I did was Icarved out intentional alone
time inner voice.
The next thing I did was Icarved out intentional alone
time.
I really became veryintentional about scheduling
pockets in my day to be quiet.
And this wasn't about isolatingmyself, but it was really just
(14:29):
about creating space so that Icould tune into my own thoughts
and feelings.
And sometimes I'd journal,sometimes I would let all my
thoughts spill out onto the page.
Other times I'd sit in silence,just allowing myself to be with
whatever came up.
Other days I'd go on walks tolet my mind settle and see where
(14:53):
my intuition led me.
And this was kind ofinteresting because I'd always
spent time walking, listening tomusic or, you know, listening
to meditations or something likethat.
But I became really intentionalabout just taking silent walks
and let me tell you, this issuper uncomfortable if you're
not used to it.
So these small dedicatedmoments of quiet just helped me
(15:16):
build a new connection to my owninner guidance, because in
these moments lots ofinteresting things just kind of
come up.
And then came the most powerfulstep.
This one is huge.
This one is acting on thoseintuitive nudges.
So you know those little sparksof like.
I feel like this is the rightdirection.
(15:37):
I just committed to followingthem.
So, even if it feltuncomfortable or risky, I would
follow through with an intuitivenudge, and sometimes it was as
simple as saying no to somethingthat I would have normally
agreed to, and other times itwas reaching out for an
opportunity that scared the crapout of me but also excited me
(16:01):
and, honestly, with each choice,I was strengthening my
self-trust and buildingconfidence in my ability to make
a decision that was alignedwith my truth.
And sometimes these thingsdidn't make sense, or sometimes
they came completely out of leftfield, but I would take action
on them anyway.
So you know, this is allsounded really awesome, right,
(16:24):
really good.
But I want to be real with you,because it wasn't all smooth
sailing, letting go of externalvalidation.
It felt incredibly freeing, butit was also extremely
terrifying, and there weremoments when doubt crept in and
I questioned everything.
I would constantly be askingmyself is this the right choice?
(16:47):
Is it wise to tune into my ownvoice instead of relying on the
guidance of others?
But what I began to understandwas that the fear wasn't a sign
I was off track.
It was actually part of theprocess and a natural response
to stepping into the unknown,because with each step forward,
(17:08):
I started to feel these subtleshifts and I became a little bit
more comfortable with theuncertainty and a little bit
more confident in my decisions.
I started realizing thatself-trust is about building a
relationship with yourself whereyou know that, no matter what,
(17:29):
you have your back.
It's knowing that, even ifthings don't go as planned,
you're capable of navigatingthrough it, and that, to me, is
freedom.
It's the ability to makechoices aligned with your own
truth, without needing anyoneelse's approval.
It's realizing that you'refully capable of living life on
(17:51):
your terms, even when it feelsuncertain and it feels really
sneaky.
It feels really sneaky and it'salmost like a cheat code,
especially if you're someonewho's always kind of looked to
the external world forvalidation or like.
Am I doing this right?
So here's something that I wantto offer you.
(18:15):
If you're in a place where youfeel like you're seeking too
much validation from others orrelying on external guidance, I
want you to try this simpleexercise.
It's called the inner check-inand it's really designed to help
you tune into your own voice,and this practice is something
that I do a lot, so you're goingto set aside just like five
(18:35):
minutes.
You could do this in themorning, you can do this before
bed, you could do this likereally any time of day, but set
aside about five minutes whereyou can be alone with your
thoughts and then think of anarea in your life where you're
looking for guidance.
For me, in particular, it wasaround my work, but for you
maybe it's a decision you'retrying to make, or maybe it's a
(18:58):
challenge you're working through, or you know something that you
would usually seek advice on.
Just bring that question to mindand then close your eyes and
take a few deep breaths and askyourself what do I need to know
about this right now?
And just observe whateverthoughts or feelings come up.
(19:20):
You might hear somethingspecific, it might feel like
more of like a feeling or aninstinct.
Immediately, whatever it is,just trust that it's exactly
what you need right now, nomatter how subtle or quiet, and
then thank yourself forlistening.
And this step is reallyimportant Acknowledging yourself
for showing up and being therefor yourself and opening up and
(19:43):
hearing your own wisdom.
This needs to be acknowledged,because when you're
acknowledging that part ofyourself, you're also inviting
it to share more with you thenext time, because this is how
self-trust grows, right.
It's like incremental.
It grows in these small,intentional moments.
(20:04):
So the more time you spend withyourself listening, the more it
will serve up.
So take that exercise with you.
I like to do it in the shower,like as soon as I'm up in the
morning.
I just ask myself in the shower, because that's where I get the
most intuitive nudges.
I guess you could say Just takethat time, bring the question to
(20:27):
mind, ask yourself what do Ineed to know about this right
now, and observe withoutjudgment what comes up.
And when you're quiet and youcreate that intentional space,
something surfaces and it mayshock you, it may be like what.
I don't know if I can do that,but okay.
And then take action on it andacknowledge yourself for showing
(20:50):
up for yourself and listening.
Before we wrap up, just knowthat self-trust isn't built
overnight and that's okay.
Every time you check in withyourself, every time you allow
your own voice to lead, you'restrengthening that trust.
So just take it one step at atime and remember that you
already have everything you needto guide you.
(21:11):
It's really a matter ofclearing everything out of the
way so you can hear it.
I'm going to stop there.
We're going to go into moreinformation next episode, but
thank you so much for joining metoday.
If you found this episodehelpful or inspiring, or if
you're going to try the exercise, or if you've tried the
(21:31):
exercise and you had insight,I'd love to hear about it.
Feel free to email me at alannaat alannabankscom, or you can
reach out to me on Instagram atalannabankscoaching.
If you love this episode,please rate it or review it,
because I'm going to be sharingmore of this.
This is part of the intuitivenudge that told me you got to
(21:54):
get back on the podcast.
So this is just the beginning,and next time, in part two,
we're going to dive in deeperinto this journey of self-trust
and explore the ripple effect,like how this work, how this
self-trust has transformed mylife and my business.
So until then, remember totrust yourself.
(22:18):
You've got this.
I'll speak to you all next time.
Have you ever reached a point where you felt like you
just couldn't keep relying oneveryone else's opinion?
Like, deep down, you knew theonly way forward was to trust
yourself, even if that feltterrifying?
Today, I'm sharing the turningpoint in my own journey the
moment I decided to stop lookingfor external validation and
(00:23):
finally go all in on self-trust.
Hi everyone, it feels so goodto be back behind the mic.
It's been a minute since Irecorded an episode and,
honestly, I needed that space toreconnect with what I know I'm
truly here to do, and if you'vebeen following me this past year
(00:45):
, you may have seen things shifta bit.
Maybe you noticed me pullingback or being more intentional
or sharing differently, showingup differently, and I know some
of you might have wonderedwhat's she up to?
What's going on over there?
And the truth is, last November2023, I made a decision that
(01:05):
changed everything.
I decided to stop looking foranswers outside of myself.
I was done with chasingvalidation, done with constantly
wondering if I was doing thingsquote unquote right in someone
else's eyes.
I made the commitment to tuneinto my own inner voice and
trust it, even when it wasreally uncomfortable.
(01:28):
I decided it was time to go allin on me and I'll be real.
It was hard, stepping back fromoutside influences, unfollowing
people I had once idolized,carving out intentional time to
just listen to myself.
It was challenging and it waskind of scary, and I knew people
(01:50):
might be watching, curious oreven skeptical about what I was
up to.
But I needed that space toquiet the noise and hear what my
own voice had to say and theresults.
Hear what my own voice had tosay and the results.
They honestly have blown meaway.
I went viral on Instagram.
I gained over 70,000 followersalmost overnight.
(02:12):
I hit some of my dreamfinancial goals.
I worked with really inspiringpeople.
I created my first course andI've honestly felt more aligned
and happier than I have in years.
My marriage is thriving, I'vereconnected with old friends,
(02:34):
I've met new friends and I foundthe missing piece that I've
been searching for all along,and you probably know what I'm
about to say it's self-trust.
So this is actually part one ofa three-part series that I'm
going to share, really about myown journey, and I'm not just
going to talk about the wins andthe good stuff.
I also am going to talk aboutthe doubts, the discomfort, the
(02:59):
practices that have kept megrounded.
I want to share the real, rawstory with everyone, what's been
going on behind the scenes andalso how you can start to build
a foundation of self-trust,because, trust me, I know what
it feels like to be stuck stuckin the cycle of looking to
(03:21):
everyone else for the answers,and I know how freeing it is to
finally break through and startliving from a place of
confidence, clarity andalignment.
It's awesome, and it almostfeels like I'm cheating
sometimes.
So if you're ready to stopsecond-guessing yourself and to
discover what trusting yourselfcan unlock in your life, then
(03:43):
you're in the right place.
Make sure you subscribe to mypodcast so that you can catch
the full story.
I'll be posting two moreepisodes after this one, and so
let's just dive in and startthis series.
So I want to start by sharing astory with you.
There was a time in my life whenI was so caught up in looking
(04:05):
for answers outside myself thatI didn't even realize I was
doing it.
I was constantly searching forvalidation.
I was devouring every self-helpbook out there, following
people who seemed like they hadit all figured out.
I thought if I can just learnwhat they know, then maybe I'll
finally feel complete.
(04:25):
But there came a point when Icouldn't keep up with that
anymore.
All that searching andlistening to everyone else was
totally draining me and, insteadof feeling inspired or
connected, I felt lost.
It was like I was losing touchwith my own thoughts, my own
wants, my own identity, and Icouldn't remember what I
(04:51):
believed or what I wanted beyondwhat others were telling me I
should be or think.
And then something shifted.
It wasn't a big aha moment.
I didn't have like an epiphanyor anything like that.
It was just a quiet realization.
Honestly, I just thought whatif I stopped?
(05:13):
What if I stopped asking otherswhat they thought?
What if I stopped looking forthe quote unquote right way to
do something?
What if I stopped searching foranswers outside myself and
instead started tuning into whatI thought was best?
And that thought honestly feltreally freeing but also
(05:34):
extremely terrifying.
Part of me was excited, butanother part of me was like what
if I don't know what I'm doing?
What if trusting myself isn'tenough?
I felt this fear, but I alsoknew that this was the only path
that would feel real to me.
(05:55):
I was the one that had to givemyself permission to stop
searching and start listening tomy own voice and from that
place, things started to change.
Little by little, I began touncover my own truth, without
needing someone else to validateit.
I started reconnecting withwhat felt right for me, and
(06:18):
that's when I truly began thisjourney of self-trust, and doing
so has been one of the mostempowering and grounding
decisions that I've ever made.
So, right around this time, Ialso took on a challenge that
forced me to sit in my ownsilence a full hour in complete
(06:39):
stillness no music, no walking,no eating, no journaling, no
napping, nothing, just me, mythoughts, in a room with four
walls.
It sounds simple, right, but asI prepared for it, I could feel
myself resisting every step ofthe way, and even though I was
(07:01):
the one who was setting thisdeadline, I found myself
avoiding it every single time.
I suddenly had a million thingsto do or all this urgent stuff
was needing me in that moment,closed the door, settled in,
ready to power through this hourof silence, and let me tell you
(07:34):
, it was uncomfortable.
The first few minutes feltendless and every part of me
wanted to escape.
I noticed my mind darting torandom thoughts, things I needed
to do later, people I shouldreach out to regrets from years
ago.
And then, when the thoughtsweren't distracting enough, I
found myself fidgeting, glancingaround the room just looking
(07:55):
for anything to occupy my mind.
My mind was pulling out all thestops to avoid being fully
pleasant in that moment.
And here's the thing there wasno big aha moment, no
enlightening download that madeeverything make sense.
It was just me noticing everylittle thought, every urge to
distract myself, everyuncomfortable feeling I'd
(08:17):
usually just push aside, and Irealized how much I'd come to
rely on distraction to avoidjust sitting with myself.
And the silence really strippedthat away.
I was just left with everythingI'd been avoiding or numbing.
But something kind ofinteresting happened in that
messy, awkward stillness.
(08:38):
Layer by layer, all the usualdistractions started to fall
away and underneath them, allthe usual distractions started
to fall away, and underneaththem I was just there.
I was there, no-transcript, Iwas simply just being.
It was raw, it was real, it wasuncomfortable and it was deeply
(09:02):
insightful.
Even though I didn't walk outof that room with some kind of
magic answer or the secret tolife or anything like that.
I had just given myself spaceto exist, to feel and to just be
with my thoughts.
And this experience.
It showed me that choosingself-trust wasn't about waiting
(09:26):
for some kind of life-changingepiphany.
It was about something farsimpler but also a lot more
challenging.
It was about creating space formy own thoughts and learning to
sit with them, even when theywere messy or uncertain or full
(09:47):
of doubt.
And just like you all listeningright now, my mind was full of
the typical what-ifs that comeup when you're about to step
into something new.
What if I mess up?
What if my inner voice isn't aswise as I hope it is?
What if I make the wrong choice?
What if I regret this?
What if people think I'm weird?
(10:08):
What if I'm too much?
What if I don't make sense?
These weren't just passingthoughts.
They were real.
And for so long I'd been basingso many of my decisions on what
others thought or what othersbelieved was right for me.
I'd made choices to fit in, tomeet expectations, to avoid
judgment, but that also meantthat I had lost touch with my
(10:31):
own voice, with what I reallywanted, and unlearning these
patterns is no small task In NLP.
Into ourselves, our minds pushback, and that's why those fears
(11:05):
and those doubts come up sostrongly.
They're our mind's way oftrying to keep us safe.
But I reached a point where Iknew that if I kept letting
those doubts control me, if Istayed in the comfort zone, if I
(11:26):
kept seeking validation fromexternal sources, then I'd never
trust myself, truly trustmyself.
And I realized that self-trustisn't something that just
arrives in a single magicalmoment.
It's built over time, in thosequiet moments when we choose to
lean in to our own guidance,even if it scares us, when we
choose to listen and hear right.
(11:49):
It's the choice to hold spacefor our own thoughts and
feelings, without trying to fixthem or push them away.
And, yeah, it's uncomfortable.
Every time I chose to listen tomyself over the voices around
me, I felt that inner resistance.
But the cool thing was I alsofelt like this quiet strength,
(12:11):
like this sense that I wasreclaiming something that I'd
lost touch with.
And little by little, I startedto see that my inner voice was
worth trusting, that my ownwisdom was just as valid, if not
more so, than the opinions I'dlooked to for so long.
So if you're like I am or wasI'm still working through it and
(12:36):
you're struggling withself-doubt or fear about
listening to your own voice,know that those doubts aren't
there to stop you.
They're just part of theprocess of unlearning old
patterns and creating new ones.
Choosing self-trust isn't easyand it's rarely without
discomfort, but it's a choice.
Every day it's a choice thatleads to something real and
(13:00):
something so deeply groundingand it's really become a
decision that I make over andover to let go of the need for
outside validation and to trustthat I'm enough.
And it's not always smooth andthe doubts still come up, but
each time I choose self-trust,I'm reminded that this journey
isn't about having all theanswers.
It's about knowing that I'mwilling to listen to myself and
(13:25):
find my way forward, no matterhow uncertain it may seem.
So when I decided to make thesechanges, I started small, with
intention.
First, I took a close look atthe influences around me and I
noticed how easy it was for myvoice to get lost in the
constant stream of perspectives,especially online.
(13:47):
So I decided to clear out allof that noise and I unfollowed
hundreds of people that I wasfollowing on Instagram
specifically.
And I unfollowed them notbecause they were wrong, but
because I needed room toreconnect with my perspective.
Sometimes we need space fromothers' influence to really hear
(14:09):
ourselves, and for me, that wasa powerful, powerful step in
reclaiming my own inner voice.
The next thing I did was Icarved out intentional alone
time inner voice.
The next thing I did was Icarved out intentional alone
time.
I really became veryintentional about scheduling
pockets in my day to be quiet.
And this wasn't about isolatingmyself, but it was really just
(14:29):
about creating space so that Icould tune into my own thoughts
and feelings.
And sometimes I'd journal,sometimes I would let all my
thoughts spill out onto the page.
Other times I'd sit in silence,just allowing myself to be with
whatever came up.
Other days I'd go on walks tolet my mind settle and see where
(14:53):
my intuition led me.
And this was kind ofinteresting because I'd always
spent time walking, listening tomusic or, you know, listening
to meditations or something likethat.
But I became really intentionalabout just taking silent walks
and let me tell you, this issuper uncomfortable if you're
not used to it.
So these small dedicatedmoments of quiet just helped me
(15:16):
build a new connection to my owninner guidance, because in
these moments lots ofinteresting things just kind of
come up.
And then came the most powerfulstep.
This one is huge.
This one is acting on thoseintuitive nudges.
So you know those little sparksof like.
I feel like this is the rightdirection.
(15:37):
I just committed to followingthem.
So, even if it feltuncomfortable or risky, I would
follow through with an intuitivenudge, and sometimes it was as
simple as saying no to somethingthat I would have normally
agreed to, and other times itwas reaching out for an
opportunity that scared the crapout of me but also excited me
(16:01):
and, honestly, with each choice,I was strengthening my
self-trust and buildingconfidence in my ability to make
a decision that was alignedwith my truth.
And sometimes these thingsdidn't make sense, or sometimes
they came completely out of leftfield, but I would take action
on them anyway.
So you know, this is allsounded really awesome, right,
(16:24):
really good.
But I want to be real with you,because it wasn't all smooth
sailing, letting go of externalvalidation.
It felt incredibly freeing, butit was also extremely
terrifying, and there weremoments when doubt crept in and
I questioned everything.
I would constantly be askingmyself is this the right choice?
(16:47):
Is it wise to tune into my ownvoice instead of relying on the
guidance of others?
But what I began to understandwas that the fear wasn't a sign
I was off track.
It was actually part of theprocess and a natural response
to stepping into the unknown,because with each step forward,
(17:08):
I started to feel these subtleshifts and I became a little bit
more comfortable with theuncertainty and a little bit
more confident in my decisions.
I started realizing thatself-trust is about building a
relationship with yourself whereyou know that, no matter what,
(17:29):
you have your back.
It's knowing that, even ifthings don't go as planned,
you're capable of navigatingthrough it, and that, to me, is
freedom.
It's the ability to makechoices aligned with your own
truth, without needing anyoneelse's approval.
It's realizing that you'refully capable of living life on
(17:51):
your terms, even when it feelsuncertain and it feels really
sneaky.
It feels really sneaky and it'salmost like a cheat code,
especially if you're someonewho's always kind of looked to
the external world forvalidation or like.
Am I doing this right?
So here's something that I wantto offer you.
(18:15):
If you're in a place where youfeel like you're seeking too
much validation from others orrelying on external guidance, I
want you to try this simpleexercise.
It's called the inner check-inand it's really designed to help
you tune into your own voice,and this practice is something
that I do a lot, so you're goingto set aside just like five
(18:35):
minutes.
You could do this in themorning, you can do this before
bed, you could do this likereally any time of day, but set
aside about five minutes whereyou can be alone with your
thoughts and then think of anarea in your life where you're
looking for guidance.
For me, in particular, it wasaround my work, but for you
maybe it's a decision you'retrying to make, or maybe it's a
(18:58):
challenge you're working through, or you know something that you
would usually seek advice on.
Just bring that question to mindand then close your eyes and
take a few deep breaths and askyourself what do I need to know
about this right now?
And just observe whateverthoughts or feelings come up.
(19:20):
You might hear somethingspecific, it might feel like
more of like a feeling or aninstinct.
Immediately, whatever it is,just trust that it's exactly
what you need right now, nomatter how subtle or quiet, and
then thank yourself forlistening.
And this step is reallyimportant Acknowledging yourself
for showing up and being therefor yourself and opening up and
(19:43):
hearing your own wisdom.
This needs to be acknowledged,because when you're
acknowledging that part ofyourself, you're also inviting
it to share more with you thenext time, because this is how
self-trust grows, right.
It's like incremental.
It grows in these small,intentional moments.
(20:04):
So the more time you spend withyourself listening, the more it
will serve up.
So take that exercise with you.
I like to do it in the shower,like as soon as I'm up in the
morning.
I just ask myself in the shower, because that's where I get the
most intuitive nudges.
I guess you could say Just takethat time, bring the question to
(20:27):
mind, ask yourself what do Ineed to know about this right
now, and observe withoutjudgment what comes up.
And when you're quiet and youcreate that intentional space,
something surfaces and it mayshock you, it may be like what.
I don't know if I can do that,but okay.
And then take action on it andacknowledge yourself for showing
(20:50):
up for yourself and listening.
Before we wrap up, just knowthat self-trust isn't built
overnight and that's okay.
Every time you check in withyourself, every time you allow
your own voice to lead, you'restrengthening that trust.
So just take it one step at atime and remember that you
already have everything you needto guide you.
(21:11):
It's really a matter ofclearing everything out of the
way so you can hear it.
I'm going to stop there.
We're going to go into moreinformation next episode, but
thank you so much for joining metoday.
If you found this episodehelpful or inspiring, or if
you're going to try the exercise, or if you've tried the
(21:31):
exercise and you had insight,I'd love to hear about it.
Feel free to email me at alannaat alannabankscom, or you can
reach out to me on Instagram atalannabankscoaching.
If you love this episode,please rate it or review it,
because I'm going to be sharingmore of this.
This is part of the intuitivenudge that told me you got to
(21:54):
get back on the podcast.
So this is just the beginning,and next time, in part two,
we're going to dive in deeperinto this journey of self-trust
and explore the ripple effect,like how this work, how this
self-trust has transformed mylife and my business.
So until then, remember totrust yourself.
(22:18):
You've got this.
I'll speak to you all next time.
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