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May 21, 2025 β€’ 7 mins

🎧 DAY 21: The Ugly Truth About 'Safe' Love (Your Brain Will Hate It) | UNSTUCK: 30 Days to Rewrite Your Love Story



πŸ”₯ EPISODE DESCRIPTION


You're on a date with someone nice - really nice. They show up on time, ask thoughtful questions, and don't mention their ex once. But instead of feeling excited, you're bored. Your brain screams: Where's the spark? Suddenly you're tempted to text your emotionally unavailable ex just to feel something.


In this eye-opening episode of UNSTUCK: 30 Days to Rewrite Your Love Story, host Christy Holt (your Nervous System Navigator) reveals why safe love feels boring at first when you're wired for chaos. Discover how to retrain your brain to crave calm connections, and why that "missing spark" might actually be your trauma bond detoxing.


Spoiler: Safety isn't boring - it's how real love begins.



⏱️ WATCH/LISTEN ALONG


00:00:00 – The "Too Nice" Date Paradox ("Why am I bored?")

00:01:15 – Chaos vs. Calm (How trauma wires us to mistake panic for passion)

00:02:01 – Christy's Safe Love Breakthrough ("It felt like coming home")

00:03:11 – How to Create Space for Safe Love (and healing)

00:04:27 – The Grounding Trio (Feet, breath, hug - rewire your nervous system)

00:05:52 – Add to Your F*ck It List: "Chasing chaos instead of calm."



πŸ’¬ KEY QUOTES (SHAREABLE AF)


"Safe love isn't boring. It's healing. It's the kind of love that lets you exhale instead of holding your breath."

"Your brain isn't broken. It's just wired for your survival."

"That restlessness you feel when things are going well? That's your nervous system detoxing from chaos."

"Safety isn't the absence of spark–it's the foundation for real fire."


(Tag @CoachChristyHolt when you choose calm over chaos. πŸ“²)



πŸ”₯ YOUR DAY 21 REBELLION: REWIRE FOR SAFETY


1. THE GROUNDING TRIO

πŸ‘£ Root Down: Press feet into floor like you're growing roots

🌬️ Box Breath: Inhale (4), Hold (4), Exhale (4), Hold (4) - repeat 3x

πŸ€— Self-Hug: Say "I am here. I am whole. I am loved."


2. ADD TO YOUR F*CK IT LIST

πŸŒ€ "Chasing chaos instead of calm."

πŸ”₯ Burn it or scream it into a pillow.


3. INSTANT CALM SHIFT

🎢 Hit Play on Gravity by John Mayer | Rebellious AF Playlist https://bit.ly/loverebel


SHARE YOUR POWER πŸ“Έ Tag @CoachChristyHolt with your grounding practice + #PlotTwistEnergy



RESOURCES & LINKS


πŸ“– LOVE, UNSTUCK BOOK: Rewire your love blueprint with more somatic tools and practical strategies: www.loveunstuck.com


πŸŽ™οΈ RELATED EPISODE: Spotting Success in Love: 20 Green Flags for a Happier, Healthier Relationship - https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/christy-holt/episodes/Spotting-Success-in-Love-20-Green-Flags-for-a-Happier--Healthier-Relationship-e2fstk5


πŸ”œ NEXT EPISODE: Stop Pretending You're Low Maintenance ("Shrinking doesn't make you chill - it makes you invisible.")



STAY CONNECTED


πŸ’Œ SUBSCRIBE so you never miss an episode!

πŸ’Œ RATE & REVIEW if this helped you crave calm.

πŸ’Œ COMMENT BELOW: "What's ONE 'boring' green flag you're learning to appreciate?" πŸš€

πŸ’Œ TAG @CoachChristyHoltβ€”your healing journey inspires others.


#LoveUnstuck #RewriteYourLoveStory #LoveRebel #ToxicLove #RelationshipAdvice

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