Ep. 161 Science Says Summer Fun Is the Midlife Coping Skill You Forgot & It Can Calm Your Anxiety

Are you too anxious, tired, or busy to have fun this summer?
You’re not alone—but science shows that fun  isn’t frivolous

In this episode, you’ll discover:

1. Why summer is uniquely suited to help you reset your anxiety.
2. How childhood memories can guide your adult self toward healing and play.
3. A simple 3-step tool to help you bring back fun—even if it feels far away.

🎧 Press play to learn how small moments of joy can interrupt the stress cycle and become one of your most reliable coping skills in midlife.

 

Send us a text

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About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.

Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.

Episode Transcript

M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover how
saying yes to summer fun calmsyour anxiety.
Welcome to Creating MidlifeCalm, a podcast dedicated to
empowering midlife minds toovercome anxiety, stop feeling
like crap and become morepresent with your family, all
while achieving greater successat work.

(00:21):
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
experience teaching mentalwellness.
Welcome to the podcast.
It's summertime where the livingis easy.
Or is it?
For many midlife parents, it'sanything but.

(00:41):
By the end of this episode, I'llshare why Summer is a powerful
coping skill for anxiety, thescience behind positive
distraction and what to do ifyou find it hard to have fun.
Which is incredibly common forpeople struggling with anxiety.
Summer may not always be easy,but it can be one of the most
accessible and effective toolsin your anxiety toolkit.

(01:05):
Before I dive in, let meacknowledge the bane of every
midlife parent's existence,scheduling summer activities for
your kids.
One of my amazing midlife momclients, opened our session by
reading to me her children'ssummer schedule.
I almost stood up and clappedright there in my office because

(01:25):
I know the mental gymnastics ittakes to coordinate summer
schedules for kids.
Let's face it, in most places,creating a summer schedule for
kids means becoming a logisticsexpert.
Our school calendars werecreated hundreds of years ago
for an agrarian economy whenparents needed kids home to
bale, hay, det, tassel corn, andcanned vegetables.

(01:48):
Today, those outdated calendarstranslate into stress and high
costs.
So if you're listening to thisin June and you've done your
best, take a moment and giveyourself a pat on the back.
It's a real accomplishment.
Now, let's turn to you insummertime.
Who has scheduled your summer?
Take a minute and float back toyour own childhood summers.

(02:12):
When you think about yourchildhood summers, what shifts
in your body?
Do you feel a little morerelaxed, a little calmer?
Ah To be a kid in summertime, Iwant a little bit of this for
you.
Why?
Because your brain and body arenot built for nonstop stress,
but midlife often feels like anendless to-do list.

(02:35):
You're caring for others,managing work, juggling
finances.
Fun can feel irresponsible,impossible, or even selfish.
But neuroscience tells us adifferent story.
When you engage in playful,novel, and sensory rich
activities, your brain releaseschemicals like dopamine and

(02:56):
serotonin, the very ones thathelp regulate mood and anxiety.
Even brief moments of fun helpreset the stress response.
Summer gives you the naturalopportunity to access these.
Longer days, time outside musicfestivals, lake swims, grilled
meals, barefoot mornings, and nohomework.

(03:19):
I want you to lean into summer,not just for your kids, but for
you.
Think back to what you love todo in your childhood.
Summers, biking, swimming, thefour H fair, unscheduled days.
I often ask clients in May tojot down five things they love
doing as kids, things they couldstill do now with very little

(03:41):
effort.
This becomes what I call summerfun list.
a reminder that fun is a validand necessary way to reset the
nervous system.
Then I ask them to pick two andput them on the calendar.
One of my midlife dad clientsremembered walking with his
father just as the firefliescame out.

(04:01):
He added this to his weeklyschedule one night for each
child, and they called itFirefly night.
Later when reflecting on whathelped most with his anxiety and
depression, Firefly Night madethe top three.
He eventually made it a yearround event.
Calling it star and moon night.
Your childhood holds the key tosimple healing experiences.

(04:25):
Trust, what surfaces, and put iton your calendar just like you
do with your kids' summerschedules.
Another benefit of summer fun isgrounding.
Summer activities are naturallygrounding, whether you're
gardening, kayaking, swimming,or picnicking.
These activities immerse you inthe present moment, and as I've

(04:45):
said on this podcast many times,presence is a powerful antidote
to anxiety.
I want the science.
This grounding effect calms yournervous system.
The feel of water on your skin,music in your ears, sun on your
shoulders.
Oh, just saying it.
I feel relaxed.
All of these activities sendsafety cues to your brain.

(05:09):
That's why fun isn't frivolous.
It's a way to tell your mind andbody.
I'm safe.
I'm allowed to feel good.
But what if fun feels hard foryou?
What if you have forgotten howto have fun?
Amidst all yourresponsibilities.
You're not alone.
Anxiety, flattens joy.
Lots of people with anxiety geta boost from checking things off

(05:31):
the list.
And trust me, there is nothingwrong with that unless play
never makes the list.
Maybe you grew up in a familythat was all work and no play
and fun wasn't something thatwas modeled for you.
If that's the case this summer,I invite you to go to fun camp.
It's free, and you get to decideall the activities.

(05:52):
To be honest, you are the headcounselor.
If you are not sure where tostart when it comes to fun, here
are three small but powerfulways to begin reclaiming your
summer of fun.
One, give yourself permission.
If you grew up hearing that funmust be earned, or it's not
important, you're free to changeyour mind.

(06:14):
That's the greatest part aboutbeing an adult.
So say it out loud.
I am going to have some fun thissummer.
Fun isn't something to earn.
It is something I need.
Number two, schedule it justlike my midlife dad.
Pick your activity and put it onthe books.
I what a great client story.

(06:36):
I had a client, a very seriousdoer who worked across from a
park.
She said to me, MJ, I haven'tplayed a day in my life.
She started taking her lunchthere to watch the kids play.
What began as a twice a weekouting turned into a daily
habit.
Rainy days really bummed herout, but most days she watched

(06:59):
the kids and it changed herrelationship with play.
Which leads me to my thirdsuggestion.
Start small.
Don't overthink this.
Fun isn't always big or planned.
That's why my client wasbrilliant when she watched
children.
They were just at the parkcreating the fun moments as they

(07:19):
were moving through time.
Sometimes fun is reading on theporch, throwing a Frisbee, or
sitting with your feet in thegrass.
For me, it's walking a dog.
Don't care whose dog or wherewe're going.
Just walking a dog is fun forme.
What matters is the practice ofshowing up for yourself, of

(07:40):
intentionally setting yourmindset that says, I'm gonna
have some fun this summer.
In this episode we've talkedabout how summer fun can calm
your anxiety.
Allowing yourself to go back andremember those activities you
loved as a child can really bebrought back into your life
today to help calm your nervoussystem.

(08:00):
And how using simple childhoodpleasures like watching
fireflies or eating lunch in apark can be powerful healing
rituals.
I encouraged you to create yourown summer fun list.
Fun isn't something to earn,it's something to practice.
Your Inner Challenge this weekis to create your personal

(08:20):
summer fun list.
Jot down five summer activitiesthat lift your spirit.
Don't overthink this.
Don't make it difficult.
Trust whatever surfaces.
You can do this anywhere whilewaiting in the car or watching
those.
Oh, so slow baseball games playthemselves out.
Then choose one.

(08:40):
Schedule it, and while you'redoing it, tune in to what it
feels like for yourself.
Can you feel it in your body?
What does fun feel like in yourbody?
Sometimes it's silly, sometimesit's sweaty.
Sometimes it smells likesunscreen and burgers.
Sometimes it can be a littleflat.
But remember, this is somethingthat you practice, so don't have

(09:04):
too high of expectations atfirst.
Be patient and integrate thesefun activities into your day.
Let your body and mind rememberthis simple childhood truth.
Summer is healing.
You don't have to earn your joy,you don't have to earn your fun.
And even five minutes of playmight be exactly what your

(09:25):
nervous system needs.
If you're shaking your headsaying, MJ, I don't have time
for fun.
I hear you, but your body, mind,and soul need it.
On Thursday, I'll follow up withan episode on how to bring fun
and play into your daily life.
If you found this episodehelpful, please share it with a

(09:46):
friend or take 30 seconds torate the show.
It really helps others find outabout it.
Thanks for listening, and I'llbe back on Thursday with
creating Midlife Calm.