June 23, 2025 • 14 mins
Do you know what to do the moment panic hits?
Panic attacks in midlife can feel terrifying and overwhelming—but they’re not dangerous, and you’re not powerless.
In this episode, you’ll discover:
- Three science-backed coping skills to calm your body during a panic attack.
- How to apply these tools in both public and private situations—and why they don’t have to be used perfectly to be effective
- Two essential steps to support your nervous system after a panic attack so you can recover with care, not self-judgment
This episode will leave you feeling more equipped and less afraid. And don’t forget: your Inner Challenge is to email MJ at mj@mjmurrayvachon.com to receive a free 3-minute guided box breathing audio—your personal panic reset tool you can keep on your phone.
These are the coping skills you didn’t know you needed—until now.
****
About the Host:
MJ Murray Vachon LCSW is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 48,000 hours of therapy sessions and 31 years of experience teaching her Mental Wellness curriculum, Inner Challenge. Four years ago she overcame her fear of technology to create a podcast that integrated her vast clinical experience and practical wisdom of cultivating mental wellness using the latest information from neuroscience. MJ was Social Worker of the Year in 2011 for Region 2/IN.
Creating Midlife Calm is a podcast designed to guide you through the challenges of midlife, tackling issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, procrastination, and isolation, while offering strategies for improving relationships, family support, emotional wellbeing, mental wellness, and parenting, with a focus on mindfulness, stress management, coping skills, and personal growth to stop rumination, overthinking, and increase confidence through self-care, emotional healing, and mental health support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:00):
In this episode, you'll discover the top
three science-backed copingskills to treat a panic attack.
Built-in Microphone (00:07):
Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast
dedicated to empowering midlifeminds to overcome anxiety, stop
feeling like crap and becomemore present with your family,
all while achieving greatersuccess at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
(00:28):
experience teaching mentalwellness.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:31):
Welcome to the podcast.
This week we're focusing onpanic attacks.
By the end of today's episode,you'll understand what a panic
attack is, and if you've hadone, trust me, I know you know
and you'll learn three simple,effective science-backed coping
skills to help you move throughthe panic.
I'll also share two importantsteps to support your recovery
(00:54):
post panic attack, and today myinner challenge is new because
panic attacks are so awful.
I want you to have a free voiceguided breathing technique that
you can keep on your phone.
Today's inner challenge willgive you directions on how I can
send that to you.
Let's begin with the obvious.
(01:15):
What is a panic attack?
Panic attacks are sudden surgesof intense fear or discomfort,
typically reaching a peak withinminutes.
Symptoms may include erasing,heart, sweating, shaking, a
shortness of breath, chest pain,dizziness, or even a sense of
detachment from reality.
(01:36):
Panic attacks are so intensethat I've worked with hundreds
of clients who've gone to the ERthinking they were having a
heart attack, when in fact itwas panic.
Clients who've experienced, bothhave told me the two do feel
very similar, but one isdangerous and the other only
feels dangerous.
(01:56):
Panic attacks are incrediblyuncomfortable but not dangerous.
Biologically panic attacks stemfrom your body's fight or flight
response.
The amygdala, your Brain's FearCenter becomes highly active,
sending signals to your body asif you're in real danger, even
when you're not.
The key to calming a panicattack is signaling safety to
(02:20):
your nervous system.
To understand how this works, itcan help to know a bit about
your autonomic nervous system.
This system has two branches,the sympathetic nervous system,
which gets you ready for action.
Think, fight, flight, freeze, orfawn, and the parasympathetic
nervous system, which calms yourbody down and helps you rest,
(02:44):
digest, and recover.
During a panic attack, yoursympathetic system floods your
body with stress hormones, andyou go on high alert.
Your goal when this floodinghappens is to activate the
parasympathetic side to bringyourself back into balance.
There are two types of panicattacks, those that come on
(03:05):
suddenly and those with a moregradual onset.
I encourage you to develop amindset around learning to
notice.
Name tame and aim your panic.
As you do so, I think you'regonna find like many of my
clients have over the years,that your abrupt episodes begin
to decrease as you begin tolearn what your early warning
(03:29):
signs of panic are.
That often will help you, notalways, but often head off a
full-blown panic attack.
You may want to start by asking,why is this happening, or, how
do I stop this forever?
But trust me, the better placeto begin is with concrete in the
moment coping skills.
(03:50):
That's what today is about.
On Thursday, we'll explore thewhy more in depth with the goal
of reducing or even eliminatingyour panic attacks altogether.
I encourage you to save on yourphone step-by-step directions
for the coping skills I'm gonnatalk about today, and to
practice them when you're not inpanic.
(04:12):
I want you to think of thesetools I an EpiPen, something you
carry with you just in case.
Having that kind of emotionalreadiness can create a real
sense of safety, knowing I havea plan is incredibly empowering.
So let's move to the threecoping skills that I have taught
thousands of my clients over theyears.
(04:33):
Coping skill number one, boxbreathing are often known as the
4 4 4 4 method.
I love that this breath practiceis recommended by Navy Seals.
Why do I love that so much?
Well, if Navy Seals need ways.
To calm their panic, why can'tyou?
This is how you do boxbreathing.
(04:54):
Inhale for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
Exhale for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds, and yourepeat it until your symptoms
begin to ease, so it goes likethis.
Inhale four, hold four.
Exhale four.
Hold four.
This activates yourparasympathetic nervous system
(05:16):
signaling you are safe.
Think about this in the mostsimplistic way possible, panic,
dysregulate your breathing.
And what you do with boxbreathing is you step in and you
take back control in a gentle,measured, planned way, Many
people find it helpful tovisualize a box while they're
(05:38):
doing this.
I've even had clients draw asquare on their leg as they do
this breath practice.
Up as you inhale across, holddown, as you exhale across hold.
I encourage you to play aroundwith this practice.
Let me share with you anexample.
A client of mine once felt agradual sense of panic rising
(05:59):
During a work meeting, she movedher attention from her panic to
her physical body.
She grounded her feet on thefloor, her arms on the chair,
and then she began boxbreathing.
As she counted in her mind, shedrew a box on the table in front
of her.
After a few rounds, her panicsubsided and no one in the
(06:21):
meeting even noticed.
This is the best case scenario.
Now let's move to the worst casescenario.
You're at the bleachers at oneof your children's sporting
events.
Suddenly your heart races andyou begin to sweat and the panic
is saying you need to leave.
Trust yourself and give yourselfpermission to walk to your car.
(06:42):
As you're walking to your car,you are feeling your feet on the
ground and you are actuallygrounding yourself as you walk.
You then begin to do boxbreathing.
Inhale for four, hold for four.
Exhale for four.
Hold for four.
You stay with it until you beginto feel your body settle.
(07:03):
You get to your car and youthink, oh, I'm feeling a bit
better, but I'm gonna ground mywhole body on the car and do a
few more rounds of breathing.
The point of these two examplesis this, sometimes you can stay
where you're at and reregulateyour nervous system.
Other times your instinct tellsyou it's better to get up and
(07:27):
leave.
I really encourage you to trustyourself.
If you feel like you need toleave.
Go ahead and leave.
You're gonna know.
Panic naturally causes you tohold your breath.
So regaining control of yourbreath is the first step.
Think of calming your body likeusing a dimmer switch, not an on
(07:47):
off switch.
There's rarely an instant offwith panic, but these tools will
gently bring the intensity ofyour panic down Let's move to
coping skill number two.
I call it the sensory shifttechnique.
Or 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
This technique uses all five ofyour senses to shift your
(08:07):
attention away from anxiousthoughts and into the present.
Panic is usually triggered bysomething from the past or
future, so bringing your bodyfully into the now can be
powerfully calming.
Here's how it works.
You name five things you cansee, four things you can touch,
three things you can hear.
(08:27):
Two things you can smell and onething you can taste.
This activates your prefrontalcortex and helps pull you out of
fight or flight.
Here's an example a client ofmine uses while visiting his
highly critical father.
Feeling the panic coming on.
He stepped outside.
He said Aloud, I see the fence.
(08:49):
I see the mulch.
I see an airplane.
I see the neighbor's car.
Then he touched differenttextures.
The dog's fur, a tree branchwater in the bird bath.
He finally took a sip from thegarden hose.
This practice of using yoursenses to shift your attention
into the moment is surprisinglyeffective.
There's no rules, no perfection,just moving your attention on
(09:14):
the sensory world.
I've had clients open therefrigerator to do this practice
or in their car, and they havefound a breath mint that was two
or three years old.
The goal is simple.
Turn your attention towardswhat's real and sensory.
Again, Don't worry aboutperfection.
Some of my clients have done 2,2, 2, 2, 2, and been able to
(09:37):
move themselves to a calmerplace.
The last coping skill I want toshare with you is progressive
muscle relaxation developed byDr.
Edmund Jacobson.
This technique helps interruptthe panic cycle by bringing
awareness to your body.
I put my own spin on it, and Icall it moving from F to A.
(09:58):
Who wouldn't rather have an Athan an F?
I teach it with a simple cue.
Tighten your fists, feet, andforehead.
Then release by exhaling withthe sound.
A how to do it.
Tighten your fists.
Hold 1, 2, 3.
Release saying.
A tighten your forehead.
(10:21):
1, 2, 3.
Release saying A Press your feetinto the floor.
1, 2, 3.
Release saying, A repeat or moveto other body parts if you like.
There's no right or wrong way todo this.
You can even start withwhichever part of the body feels
accessible.
(10:42):
Practicing this when you'recalm, will make it much more
intuitive when the panicstrikes.
I think you've probably noticedthat I keep stressing you don't
have to do this perfectly.
The reason I want to stress thisis over the years so many of my
clients think if I do thiscoping skill perfectly, it will
make the panic go away sooner.
(11:04):
But that puts an added layer ofpressure on reregulating your
body.
The point is this, the panicattack has gotten your body out
of a stabilized state.
These coping skills are to putthem back into a stabilized
state, and you're going to beable to do that more effectively
if you let go of the idea thatthey have to be done perfectly.
(11:26):
You might even be asking, whichtools should I use first?
The one that comes to your mind.
You can become your own guide.
Once you've used these tools tomove through a panic attack,
it's important to know how tocare for yourself afterward
because recovery matters just asmuch as regulation.
(11:46):
And that brings me to the lastpart of our episode.
What do you do when a panicattack ends?
A panic attack is a big deal.
It's put your body and your mindthrough a lot.
Even when it has subsided, yournervous system is still
recalibrating.
Recovery is key, so it'simportant that you reregulate
(12:08):
with care.
You have just had a significantphysical and emotional event.
Give yourself time to recover.
Ask your body, what do I need?
This is the aim part of noticename and tame my emotional
regulation method that you canlisten to in episode 54 when you
(12:28):
ask yourself, post panic attack,what do I need?
Trust, what arises in your mind?
Maybe you need a nap, a walk, acup of tea, a hug, or sitting
quietly with your pet.
You'd cancel plans if you hadthe flu.
I think of a panic attack, likethe emotional flu.
So if you feel like you need tocancel something'cause you don't
(12:51):
have the energy, please do.
all of this is an act ofself-compassion and when you
practice aim, you allow yourbody to complete the emotional
cycle.
The second thing that can bevery helpful after a panic
attack is to reflect withoutjudgment and to understand what
were the triggers, what were thecauses.
(13:14):
I don't recommend that you dothis while you're in the
recovery process, which is whyon Thursday we're gonna go
deeper into this reflectionprocess and how to use it as a
way to eventually say to thepanic, thank you for your
service, but I no longer needyou.
Yes, with proper guidance andreflection, you can gain
(13:35):
invaluable insights from yourpanic that help you learn how to
care better for yourself.
Sound impossible.
Tune in on Thursday to find outyour inner challenge for the
week is to email me atmj@mjmurrayvon.com to receive
your free guided box breathingaudio, it's your own three
(13:57):
minute reset.
A calming tool you can useanytime, anywhere.
In this episode, you'vediscovered how panic attacks
impact your body and mind, andthree grounding techniques to
calm your nervous system andrecover with compassion.
I'll be back on Thursday with afollow-up episode where we focus
(14:17):
on understanding the causes ofyour panic and how doing so can
help you heal.
Thanks for listening to creatingMidlife Calm.
In this episode, you'll discover the top
three science-backed copingskills to treat a panic attack.
Built-in Microphone (00:07):
Welcome to Creating Midlife Calm, a podcast
dedicated to empowering midlifeminds to overcome anxiety, stop
feeling like crap and becomemore present with your family,
all while achieving greatersuccess at work.
I'm MJ Murray Vachon, a licensedclinical social worker with over
48, 000 hours of therapysessions and 31 years of
(00:28):
experience teaching mentalwellness.
M.J. Murray Vachon LCSW (00:31):
Welcome to the podcast.
This week we're focusing onpanic attacks.
By the end of today's episode,you'll understand what a panic
attack is, and if you've hadone, trust me, I know you know
and you'll learn three simple,effective science-backed coping
skills to help you move throughthe panic.
I'll also share two importantsteps to support your recovery
(00:54):
post panic attack, and today myinner challenge is new because
panic attacks are so awful.
I want you to have a free voiceguided breathing technique that
you can keep on your phone.
Today's inner challenge willgive you directions on how I can
send that to you.
Let's begin with the obvious.
(01:15):
What is a panic attack?
Panic attacks are sudden surgesof intense fear or discomfort,
typically reaching a peak withinminutes.
Symptoms may include erasing,heart, sweating, shaking, a
shortness of breath, chest pain,dizziness, or even a sense of
detachment from reality.
(01:36):
Panic attacks are so intensethat I've worked with hundreds
of clients who've gone to the ERthinking they were having a
heart attack, when in fact itwas panic.
Clients who've experienced, bothhave told me the two do feel
very similar, but one isdangerous and the other only
feels dangerous.
(01:56):
Panic attacks are incrediblyuncomfortable but not dangerous.
Biologically panic attacks stemfrom your body's fight or flight
response.
The amygdala, your Brain's FearCenter becomes highly active,
sending signals to your body asif you're in real danger, even
when you're not.
The key to calming a panicattack is signaling safety to
(02:20):
your nervous system.
To understand how this works, itcan help to know a bit about
your autonomic nervous system.
This system has two branches,the sympathetic nervous system,
which gets you ready for action.
Think, fight, flight, freeze, orfawn, and the parasympathetic
nervous system, which calms yourbody down and helps you rest,
(02:44):
digest, and recover.
During a panic attack, yoursympathetic system floods your
body with stress hormones, andyou go on high alert.
Your goal when this floodinghappens is to activate the
parasympathetic side to bringyourself back into balance.
There are two types of panicattacks, those that come on
(03:05):
suddenly and those with a moregradual onset.
I encourage you to develop amindset around learning to
notice.
Name tame and aim your panic.
As you do so, I think you'regonna find like many of my
clients have over the years,that your abrupt episodes begin
to decrease as you begin tolearn what your early warning
(03:29):
signs of panic are.
That often will help you, notalways, but often head off a
full-blown panic attack.
You may want to start by asking,why is this happening, or, how
do I stop this forever?
But trust me, the better placeto begin is with concrete in the
moment coping skills.
(03:50):
That's what today is about.
On Thursday, we'll explore thewhy more in depth with the goal
of reducing or even eliminatingyour panic attacks altogether.
I encourage you to save on yourphone step-by-step directions
for the coping skills I'm gonnatalk about today, and to
practice them when you're not inpanic.
(04:12):
I want you to think of thesetools I an EpiPen, something you
carry with you just in case.
Having that kind of emotionalreadiness can create a real
sense of safety, knowing I havea plan is incredibly empowering.
So let's move to the threecoping skills that I have taught
thousands of my clients over theyears.
(04:33):
Coping skill number one, boxbreathing are often known as the
4 4 4 4 method.
I love that this breath practiceis recommended by Navy Seals.
Why do I love that so much?
Well, if Navy Seals need ways.
To calm their panic, why can'tyou?
This is how you do boxbreathing.
(04:54):
Inhale for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds.
Exhale for four seconds.
Hold for four seconds, and yourepeat it until your symptoms
begin to ease, so it goes likethis.
Inhale four, hold four.
Exhale four.
Hold four.
This activates yourparasympathetic nervous system
(05:16):
signaling you are safe.
Think about this in the mostsimplistic way possible, panic,
dysregulate your breathing.
And what you do with boxbreathing is you step in and you
take back control in a gentle,measured, planned way, Many
people find it helpful tovisualize a box while they're
(05:38):
doing this.
I've even had clients draw asquare on their leg as they do
this breath practice.
Up as you inhale across, holddown, as you exhale across hold.
I encourage you to play aroundwith this practice.
Let me share with you anexample.
A client of mine once felt agradual sense of panic rising
(05:59):
During a work meeting, she movedher attention from her panic to
her physical body.
She grounded her feet on thefloor, her arms on the chair,
and then she began boxbreathing.
As she counted in her mind, shedrew a box on the table in front
of her.
After a few rounds, her panicsubsided and no one in the
(06:21):
meeting even noticed.
This is the best case scenario.
Now let's move to the worst casescenario.
You're at the bleachers at oneof your children's sporting
events.
Suddenly your heart races andyou begin to sweat and the panic
is saying you need to leave.
Trust yourself and give yourselfpermission to walk to your car.
(06:42):
As you're walking to your car,you are feeling your feet on the
ground and you are actuallygrounding yourself as you walk.
You then begin to do boxbreathing.
Inhale for four, hold for four.
Exhale for four.
Hold for four.
You stay with it until you beginto feel your body settle.
(07:03):
You get to your car and youthink, oh, I'm feeling a bit
better, but I'm gonna ground mywhole body on the car and do a
few more rounds of breathing.
The point of these two examplesis this, sometimes you can stay
where you're at and reregulateyour nervous system.
Other times your instinct tellsyou it's better to get up and
(07:27):
leave.
I really encourage you to trustyourself.
If you feel like you need toleave.
Go ahead and leave.
You're gonna know.
Panic naturally causes you tohold your breath.
So regaining control of yourbreath is the first step.
Think of calming your body likeusing a dimmer switch, not an on
(07:47):
off switch.
There's rarely an instant offwith panic, but these tools will
gently bring the intensity ofyour panic down Let's move to
coping skill number two.
I call it the sensory shifttechnique.
Or 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.
This technique uses all five ofyour senses to shift your
(08:07):
attention away from anxiousthoughts and into the present.
Panic is usually triggered bysomething from the past or
future, so bringing your bodyfully into the now can be
powerfully calming.
Here's how it works.
You name five things you cansee, four things you can touch,
three things you can hear.
(08:27):
Two things you can smell and onething you can taste.
This activates your prefrontalcortex and helps pull you out of
fight or flight.
Here's an example a client ofmine uses while visiting his
highly critical father.
Feeling the panic coming on.
He stepped outside.
He said Aloud, I see the fence.
(08:49):
I see the mulch.
I see an airplane.
I see the neighbor's car.
Then he touched differenttextures.
The dog's fur, a tree branchwater in the bird bath.
He finally took a sip from thegarden hose.
This practice of using yoursenses to shift your attention
into the moment is surprisinglyeffective.
There's no rules, no perfection,just moving your attention on
(09:14):
the sensory world.
I've had clients open therefrigerator to do this practice
or in their car, and they havefound a breath mint that was two
or three years old.
The goal is simple.
Turn your attention towardswhat's real and sensory.
Again, Don't worry aboutperfection.
Some of my clients have done 2,2, 2, 2, 2, and been able to
(09:37):
move themselves to a calmerplace.
The last coping skill I want toshare with you is progressive
muscle relaxation developed byDr.
Edmund Jacobson.
This technique helps interruptthe panic cycle by bringing
awareness to your body.
I put my own spin on it, and Icall it moving from F to A.
(09:58):
Who wouldn't rather have an Athan an F?
I teach it with a simple cue.
Tighten your fists, feet, andforehead.
Then release by exhaling withthe sound.
A how to do it.
Tighten your fists.
Hold 1, 2, 3.
Release saying.
A tighten your forehead.
(10:21):
1, 2, 3.
Release saying A Press your feetinto the floor.
1, 2, 3.
Release saying, A repeat or moveto other body parts if you like.
There's no right or wrong way todo this.
You can even start withwhichever part of the body feels
accessible.
(10:42):
Practicing this when you'recalm, will make it much more
intuitive when the panicstrikes.
I think you've probably noticedthat I keep stressing you don't
have to do this perfectly.
The reason I want to stress thisis over the years so many of my
clients think if I do thiscoping skill perfectly, it will
make the panic go away sooner.
(11:04):
But that puts an added layer ofpressure on reregulating your
body.
The point is this, the panicattack has gotten your body out
of a stabilized state.
These coping skills are to putthem back into a stabilized
state, and you're going to beable to do that more effectively
if you let go of the idea thatthey have to be done perfectly.
(11:26):
You might even be asking, whichtools should I use first?
The one that comes to your mind.
You can become your own guide.
Once you've used these tools tomove through a panic attack,
it's important to know how tocare for yourself afterward
because recovery matters just asmuch as regulation.
(11:46):
And that brings me to the lastpart of our episode.
What do you do when a panicattack ends?
A panic attack is a big deal.
It's put your body and your mindthrough a lot.
Even when it has subsided, yournervous system is still
recalibrating.
Recovery is key, so it'simportant that you reregulate
(12:08):
with care.
You have just had a significantphysical and emotional event.
Give yourself time to recover.
Ask your body, what do I need?
This is the aim part of noticename and tame my emotional
regulation method that you canlisten to in episode 54 when you
(12:28):
ask yourself, post panic attack,what do I need?
Trust, what arises in your mind?
Maybe you need a nap, a walk, acup of tea, a hug, or sitting
quietly with your pet.
You'd cancel plans if you hadthe flu.
I think of a panic attack, likethe emotional flu.
So if you feel like you need tocancel something'cause you don't
(12:51):
have the energy, please do.
all of this is an act ofself-compassion and when you
practice aim, you allow yourbody to complete the emotional
cycle.
The second thing that can bevery helpful after a panic
attack is to reflect withoutjudgment and to understand what
were the triggers, what were thecauses.
(13:14):
I don't recommend that you dothis while you're in the
recovery process, which is whyon Thursday we're gonna go
deeper into this reflectionprocess and how to use it as a
way to eventually say to thepanic, thank you for your
service, but I no longer needyou.
Yes, with proper guidance andreflection, you can gain
(13:35):
invaluable insights from yourpanic that help you learn how to
care better for yourself.
Sound impossible.
Tune in on Thursday to find outyour inner challenge for the
week is to email me atmj@mjmurrayvon.com to receive
your free guided box breathingaudio, it's your own three
(13:57):
minute reset.
A calming tool you can useanytime, anywhere.
In this episode, you'vediscovered how panic attacks
impact your body and mind, andthree grounding techniques to
calm your nervous system andrecover with compassion.
I'll be back on Thursday with afollow-up episode where we focus
(14:17):
on understanding the causes ofyour panic and how doing so can
help you heal.
Thanks for listening to creatingMidlife Calm.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Bookmarked by Reese's Book Club
Welcome to Bookmarked by Reese’s Book Club — the podcast where great stories, bold women, and irresistible conversations collide! Hosted by award-winning journalist Danielle Robay, each week new episodes balance thoughtful literary insight with the fervor of buzzy book trends, pop culture and more. Bookmarked brings together celebrities, tastemakers, influencers and authors from Reese's Book Club and beyond to share stories that transcend the page. Pull up a chair. You’re not just listening — you’re part of the conversation.