What if the most powerful teaching shift is letting go of how the lesson “should” go? We unpack four hard-earned insights from years of teaching gifted and neurodivergent piano students—ideas that lower stress, boost engagement, and bring the joy back to the bench.
If you teach music, special education, or any special learner, these stories and strategies will help you teach with calm, clarity, and heart. Listen, try one idea this week, and tell us what changed. If the conversation helped, subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a quick review on Spotify or Apple to help others find the show!
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Episode Transcript
Hello, friends.
Welcome back to the CreativePiano Pedagogy podcast.
This is episode 18, and I'm soglad you're tuning in.
I'm Elizabeth, and I'm yourhost.
It's the week of Thanksgivinghere in the U.S., and that's a
time when we typically try toreflect on our blessings and
carry a spirit of gratitude withus.
(01:40):
This isn't something we do togloss over hardships or try to
forget our worries and troubles,but it's just an intentional
time to be thankful.
And I know other countries andcultures have times that they
celebrate seasons ofThanksgiving as well.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving,I've been doing some pondering
(02:01):
on my past and current studentsand reflecting on lessons that
they've taught me.
Teaching highly gifted orneurodivergent students is a
challenging endeavor.
And anytime someone outside ofthe music world asks me, what do
I do?
I share a brief snippet about mystudents, and their response is
(02:24):
almost always a variation of,oh, that's so sweet, or that is
so cute.
I'm a really calm person most ofthe time.
And I'm really good aboutletting things just kind of roll
off my back like a duck, as theysay.
But that is a response.
(02:45):
If people give those kinds ofresponses, it can get under my
skin just a little because itfeels like they're not honoring
or taking into consideration thehard, difficult work that goes
into teaching kids withdisabilities.
I'm 100% certain that most ofthe folks who ask that question
(03:08):
and then respond in that way arenot at all intentionally
minimalizing, minimizing what wedo, but it's something that I
work through every now and then.
But it's a fact.
Teaching is really hard work.
I would be really curious toknow if you have ever made a
list of lessons you've learnedfrom your students.
(03:31):
I would like to share a few thatI have learned from my students
today.
And if you're in a season ofchallenging students with
difficult schedules you have towork around, or difficult parent
and guardian communicationpatterns, challenging behaviors
you're trying to navigate, orsomething completely different.
(03:51):
I hope this can help you focuson the good that you bring to
your students and find good andwhat they're returning back to
you.
Lesson number one, noexpectations.
In almost 20 years of teaching,and most of that focusing on
students who learn differently,my students have taught me to
(04:15):
have no expectations for thelesson.
Now, don't get me wrong, I amvery prepared for lessons,
probably overly prepared, withmusic, activities, a mixture of
challenging and fun things tomake music come alive for them.
I used to anticipate how much mystudents would love those
(04:37):
activities because I took timeto prepare them and I very
carefully selected things Ithought each student would like.
And then I would feel sodisappointed when my students
didn't reciprocate thatpositivity during a lesson.
On the flip side, I wasconstantly being surprised by
(04:58):
how lessons went when I was moreflexible rather than rigid.
And I was allowing students tofind joy in what mattered to
them that day rather than meattaching emotions to activities
like, oh, I think you're goingto love this, or feeling that
inevitable disappointment whenthey didn't.
(05:20):
They have taught me simply topresent the options, be prepared
with more than we'll need forthe lesson, and just see how it
goes in the moment.
The only thing I try toanticipate is if the music or
activity is a good fit for mystudent in their current season,
or if it works for theirlearning style.
(05:42):
Otherwise, no expectations.
And that has been a very freeinglesson to learn.
Lesson number two (05:51):
stickers are still cool.
I love stickers, and I alwayshave.
I like tiny stickers, I like bigstickers, I have water bottles
that are covered in stickers,and honestly, I probably will
always love stickers.
But I don't just love genericstickers, I like quirky ones.
(06:12):
My favorites are the dinosaursthat are wearing Christmas hats
and scarves, or ice skatingelephants.
And my personal all-timefavorite: animals and astronaut
gear floating in space.
That was one of my bestdiscoveries at a Dollar Tree
ever.
Specifically, the hamster, thegoat, and the cow.
(06:35):
I just can't explain it, butthey're so humorous to me, and I
just love them.
I've learned that toy prizesdon't mean a lot to my student
population unless they'refidgets.
But I have learned that theylove closing our lessons by
choosing a sticker.
I think some of them view it assort of a ritual to end the
(06:59):
lesson.
I keep a folder of the mostrandom, hilarious, and quirky
stickers, and I just go throughthem on a rotation so students
can have a different option eachweek.
It's something so small, butsomething that they truly enjoy.
And they are so disappointed ifwe forget.
And then, of course, we have tocatch up the next week by
(07:21):
getting at least two stickers,even the preteens.
As teachers, it's so easy tofocus on the big and the flashy,
the big moments, the recitals,the competitions, the music
exams.
But this is a great reminderthat students can find joy in
the smallest things, like goofyanimal astronaut stickers.
(07:45):
What a great perspective thatis.
Lesson number three (07:49):
honesty is kindness.
My gifted and neurodivergentstudents are very blunt.
If you teach any students withautism or ADHD, then I'm fairly
certain you know what I mean.
I will never forget a student Ihad many years ago.
Let's call him Henry.
(08:10):
He was very energetic, and I wasstruggling to find a good
communication approach thatreally worked for him.
One lesson in the winter, hestopped in the middle of his
playing to comment on my scarf.
He told me, Did you know thatthere are YouTube videos for how
to tie scarves?
(08:31):
Maybe you could watch onebecause yours is very crooked.
A giant light bulb went off inmy brain.
Henry was more pragmatic thanmost kids, and he truly thought
in black and white.
I also realized in that momentthat my badly tied scarf, and it
(08:53):
was very badly tied, was adistraction to him.
So I took it off and hephysically and outwardly sighed.
Then he resumed playing and wenever talked about it again.
During that lesson, I changed mycommunication patterns to be
much more blunt and pragmaticwith him.
I had already been doing that,or so I thought, but he needed a
(09:16):
much more extremely pragmaticapproach.
From then on, we communicated somuch better together.
He would look at me whileplaying, and I would give him
either a thumbs up for corrector a thumbs down for incorrect
as he was playing.
That seems very harsh anddisruptive, but for him, it
(09:39):
wasn't harsh.
It was kind, it was concise, andit was exactly the kind of
honest teaching he needed.
What a great lesson to learn.
Lastly, is number four.
It's probably not you.
If you've taught any amount oftime in a classroom or even in
(09:59):
your private lessons, you knowthat kids of all ages can have
on days and very, very off days.
For neurodivergent and giftedstudents, that can be even more
unpredictable.
And I believe thatunpredictability is why many
teachers are hesitant to teachthose students.
(10:20):
It's a bit scary because younever know which version of your
student you'll get in each classor lesson.
As a new teacher, I tended tocarry the heavy weight of really
guilt when the lessons wouldn'tgo as smoothly as I'd hoped or
planned, or when the music wasmore challenging for the student
(10:43):
than I anticipated because theyhadn't practiced.
As I started teaching more andmore neurodivergent students, I
would feel badly when they wouldget upset or overwhelmed in a
lesson and have a meltdown.
I'll never forget an aha momentwhen a student's parent texted
me before their lesson about 15years ago and said, Hey, my
(11:08):
child has not had a good day.
They had to eat their leastfavorite food for lunch, and it
totally ruined their entire day.
Now, I did not see that textuntil after their lesson because
I had so many back-to-backlessons at that time.
And yes, as you can imagine, thelesson was not fantastic.
(11:32):
The child was obviously alreadyupset and struggling with
regulation and communicationright when they walked in the
door.
And I certainly did my best toadapt.
After the lesson, I checked myphone and I saw that text from
the parents.
And I instantly started laughingout loud.
I cannot tell you the weightthat lifted from my shoulders
(11:55):
after realizing it wasn't me.
It was lunch.
It was a bad lunch.
Definitely not what I expected,but such a valuable lesson.
If your students have had baddays where their lessons are
chaotic, when they're strugglingto focus or regulate their
emotions and physical energy,when they're easily overwhelmed
(12:16):
and having meltdowns, I justwant you to remember it's
probably not you.
I know that phrase is very easyto say and difficult to put into
practice and truly remember, butlearning this lesson has helped
me repeatedly over the last 15years or so.
And yes, I still problem solvein the moment and adapt to meet
(12:41):
my students where they are.
I still analyze the lessons andI rewatch the recordings, taking
notes on what I can improve andlooking for patterns in the
struggles.
But through all of thatself-reflection, I have learned
to change my inner dialogue toreflect the truth that it's
probably not me.
(13:04):
Whether you're in the US andcelebrating Thanksgiving this
week or living elsewhere, I hopeyou take a few minutes to
reflect on some of the goodlessons your students have
taught you and realize theimpact you are having on the
people you get to work with eachweek.
I'm also incredibly grateful foryou, each listener to the
(13:26):
podcast, every subscriber to theblog, each teacher who is
finding something helpful fromour resources and is supporting
what we're doing through thepiano teachers book club or
courses, whatever.
Thank you, thank you.
I'm truly full of gratitude thisholiday season.
That's all for today, and we'llbe back next week with another
(13:48):
wonderful episode for you.
If you enjoyed today's episode,would you take just a minute of
your time and leave us a quickreview on Spotify or Apple?
It would mean so much.
Thank you again for listening,and I hope you have a very happy
Thanksgiving.
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