#69 Julie Ripley: Self-Connection, Boundaries, and Getting Unstuck

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Intro (00:02):
Welcome to Creative spirits unleashed, where we talk
about the dilemmas of balancingwork and life. And now, here's
your host, Lynn Carnes.

Lynn (00:19):
Well, welcome to the creative spirits unleashed
Podcast. I'm Len Karns, yourhost. My guest for this episode
is Julie Ripley, who specializesin helping people regain their
connection with their self. Shewas also the chief financial
officer of a company in her mid30s, when she realized that she
was burned out. Given my ownexperience of near burnout in my

(00:41):
mid 30s. You can imagine we hada lot to talk about. If I had to
characterize this conversation,I would say it's about
distinctions. For example, wetalked about the distinction
between power and force. We alsotalked about the distinction
between sleep and rest. Anotherone we talked about was between

(01:01):
embodiment of wisdom versus justknowing information, really deep
and rich topics we talked aboutin this conversation. So this
conversation, it's really foranyone who's looking for more
meaning in their lives orlooking to get past stuck.
Sometimes we get stuck. One ofJulie's specialties is helping

(01:22):
people get unstuck. Here's whatshe has to say about herself.
Julie is a personal developmentcoach specializing in self
connection, boundaries andcommunication. She is a speaker
and has authored her owncoaching programs, pulling
together her experience ofburning out in a CFO position.
All the lessons she's learnedfrom riding horses and her
lifelong study of personalgrowth and spiritual

(01:45):
development. She specializes inhelping high achieving
successful people who arefeeling stuck make their next
move. I do hope you will enjoythis conversation with Julie
Ripley. Julie, welcome to thepodcast.

Julie R (02:00):
Man. I'm so excited to be here with you. I

Lynn (02:03):
am too we. I want to start when I when I got on your
website, which I have done acouple of times, but I did it
right before we started. Irealized that you may be the
most kindred spirit I've everhad on the podcast. Oh, tell me
more. Because use your podcastyour I'm sorry. Your website

(02:27):
said something about that youburned out as a CFO at 35. Yes,
I think my moment came at 41. Iwas a banker. I'm an accountant.
I was a CPA. I call myself arecovering digit head. But I
began I'd like to say I had likea wake up call. But I think I

(02:48):
had a lot of nudges that turnedinto slugs where and I mean
punches in the gut, you know, tofinally wake me up, I probably
started waking up or gettingthose punches and the mid 30s I
definitely was burned out andhad given my life over to the
corporate machine and had somewake up calls that have landed

(03:12):
me where I am now which is asuch a different life, which I
sense is the truth for you. Socan you tell me whatever you're
willing to share about yourburnout story?

Julie R (03:23):
Ah, well, the reason why pauses I think it's kind of
funny. The story that I'mhearing in my head is I had this
friend that would speak aboutpeople and she would call them
two by four people.

Lynn (03:42):
I can't wait to hear what that means. Because I have my
own two by four story which Iwill tell you later. Okay, tell
tell me now what your what yourfriend means by two by four
people.

Julie R (03:52):
So her version was you need to hit him upside the head
with a two by four before youcould get anything through to
them. I love it. And in maybe inall aspects in some ways, but
especially in my career, I was atwo by four person because I

(04:17):
followed the formula. And andwhen I burned out I was very
resentful because the formulawas you go to school, you get
good grades you get intocollege, you choose a career
that will provide you this lifeand things are going to be
wonderful and happy. You know, Idid all the right things. I

(04:38):
didn't ever marry the wrongperson. I never gotten credit
card debt. I paid my studentloans off early. So I really
thought I was knocking it out ofthe park because I was following
all this advice that of how tohave this amazing successful
life and I should have known incollege because in college I

(05:01):
realized about my junior yearthat I hated accounting. And I
went around to all the othercolleges on campus and I just
talked to them about possibilityand, and what what I could do
with a career if I changed andin the Health and Human
Development, I shared thispassion. I wanted to have this

(05:24):
ranch where people could comeand this is in like the mid 90s
I wanted this ranch where peoplecould come and just learn about
animals and life and lifecycles. And I couldn't have
articulated it then but likedeveloping connection and
relationship through, like,through work and effort, but

(05:49):
also caring for and learningfrom animals in nature. And I
gave up I was like, it's gonnabe too hard to switch. I'm too
far and it'll be you know, the,the living in your head piece
really kicks in and you know,like, and then there are some
people in my life saying,There's no way that that's
possible. Nobody does that. Youknow, ranching is hard. Where do

(06:12):
you think you're gonna getranch? All of all of those
thoughts and right, all of thatnoise. I all of

Lynn (06:18):
a noise, but just I have to stop to reflect for a minute.
You weren't even out of collegeyet. You thought you were too
far in? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't itfunny the stories we tell
ourselves?

Julie R (06:30):
Yes. And write like that. That was like a huge
signal. Mm hmm. Yeah. And when Iwas talking to I can't, I can't
remember. I think it was, it wasan advisor for that College of
Health and Human Development.
But like, I've never heardanyone speak about this with a
passion you do. Ding, ding,ding, right like that. That's a

(06:54):
glimmer.

Lynn (06:57):
It's a glimmer.

Julie R (06:58):
Mm hmm. And I dismissed that signal. Like, I missed
that. Like, there was no glimmerin accounting. And there was
this glimmer over here. Butagain, like I was looking at it,
you know, logically, we teachpeople to be logical. And we're
not, I don't believe we'relogical creatures at all. I

(07:20):
think we like to think we'relogical. But anyway, so I
graduated, I worked at the statefor several years doing
financial compliance, auditing,you know, watching paint dry,
basically. And then I went intopublic accounting for five years
where I audited car dealerships,mainly not for profits and did

(07:41):
some tax prep. And so it was anatural progression to go into a
CFO position at an equipmentdealership. And, and it was one
of those, I went from a placewhere I basically got six weeks
paid vacation, because insteadof getting paid for our

(08:03):
overtime, like being built intothe salary, we can bank the, the
hours we were during tax season,and I started the year every
January 1, no matter theweather, I was out counting cars
by VIN number. So how fun

Lynn (08:23):
Yeah, Okay, gotta gotta check the floor plan, make sure
everything is there. That's

Julie R (08:28):
right. And so, um, and then we, the office was closed
at noon, for six months of theyear. So I had a ton of time
off. I had a lot of room toplay. I was running barrels, I
was working out I was involvedin like, Toastmasters and United
Way and, and then when I went towork at this equipment

(08:53):
dealership, it was like, I wasworking 12 hours a day. And I it
felt like I was drinking from afirehose and, and part of it was
they had never had a CFO, and Ihad never been a CFO. So there
was a lot of figuring things outon the fly. There was a lot of

(09:14):
just push, push, push, do more,do more, do more. We're doing
this, we're doing that. And thenI was like, with in nine months
of being there, I handled myfirst acquisition.

Lynn (09:29):
Oh my gosh, yeah,

Julie R (09:31):
I'm of another location. So it was, well, it
was a multimillion dollartransaction and I I reconciled
it within $1,200. So that thelevel of detail I wanted to work
at didn't it fit, but it didn'tfit in the fast paced

(09:51):
environment. And so there wasthat like, I'll just say that
this organization was verydriven for growth. It was very
driven for. It was verycompetitive. And and I had this
mindset that if I couldn't doit, there must be something

(10:14):
wrong with me. I sort of laugh,like in Montana, if, if you, if
you can't do it on your own,there's something wrong with you
like you should be because welive in this state of rugged
independence. So, you know, andit's true, there are some times

(10:34):
where you're out in the middleof nowhere, and it's you and you
have to figure it out. Right. Sothere was that belief system of
not feeling like I could ask forhelp. But also, maybe that help,
may or may not have beenavailable to me. But there was
also something that if Icouldn't figure it out, I must

(10:56):
not be the person for the job.
And I could have neverarticulated it, then. It just
felt like stress, and it feltlike overwhelm. And it felt like
the more I did, the more Ibelieved I couldn't do. And
right, like, like, yeah, theacquisition was just one of the

(11:18):
many projects. Yeah, and I don'twant to get into too many
details of that. But

Lynn (11:28):
what can I can I pause you, because what you just said,
is so profound, because mostpeople can't put words to what
you just described,

Julie R (11:40):
which is yours to be able to put words to it,

Lynn (11:43):
that feeling that that if I, if I have to ask for help, or
I can't solve this problem,there's something wrong with me.
And, again, I don't know thatmany people put that into
language, I think it's mostly aphysical feeling in the body.
That is sort of everybody's gottheir own way of feeling about

(12:07):
it. But it is a not good enoughfeeling that drives incredible
action. And I don't meanincredible and a good less
ghosts, take care of the world.
Why, but like incredible interms of interference,
defensiveness,

Julie R (12:22):
dominance competition, I've got to be more than you to
feel good.

Lynn (12:26):
I didn't hold back the proving mindset. I've got to
prove to you that I belong here.
But the funny thing is, theproving mindset only comes when
I don't feel like I belong here.

Julie R (12:37):
When I don't feel good enough about exactly. Yeah. It
is interesting that in the workI do I talk about, well, there's
two, two places we could go withthis. You know, when we don't
feel good enough, like when ourneeds aren't being met, we do

(12:57):
one of two things. We shut downand stop participating, or we
overcompensate and perform.
Right. And one of the reasonswhy I burnt out is I related to
my needs, like they didn'texist. So what happened is, if I
needed to work an hour longer, Idid. If I needed work an hour

(13:19):
earlier, I did. I never lookedat what I needed to set myself
up to thrive. I was good sleep,getting the right help. And and
there was this mindset of youneed to learn how to delegate

Lynn (13:41):
you're not going to provide me the resources. Yeah,
this is a conversation I'm inall the time with even very well
off companies with very highpeople is it's it's the it's
sort of the risk, trade offresource conversation. Which you
actually if you know, you know,if you actually are the one

(14:02):
providing the resources yet kindof realize, Oh, if I don't do
this, we're going to crash andburn. But if you've got people
like I was, which is good littlegirl, sure that I wasn't able to
do it well enough. I'll dowhatever it takes. I don't know
how to raise my hand and say,Hey, this isn't gonna work with

(14:23):
just me. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
And our and we set up corporatecultures to do that to people
and then wonder why they burnout or leave in droves. Or the
project fails. Well,

Julie R (14:40):
right it it. It's classic. narcissism, right.

Lynn (14:46):
Yeah, I never knew I

Julie R (14:48):
need and then I'm going to make you wrong for needing
it. Yeah.

Lynn (14:54):
Yeah, say that again.

Julie R (15:00):
But it's one of the concepts I work with. Yeah. It's
the withholding the make wrongdynamic. Mm hmm. So one of the
examples I use a lot is an and Iwant you to respond to me 99% of
the time when you go to arestaurant, and you tell them

(15:20):
what you need or want, whathappens.

Lynn (15:25):
They generally bring bad yeah,

Julie R (15:29):
99% of the time. If you can't, won't, or don't tell
somebody tell the wait personwhat you need or want what
happens.

Lynn (15:40):
They bring me what they think I want coffee. I was just
in a restaurant where theyshowed up first thing with
coffee, we don't drink coffee.
And there's so heat up, butthey're so proud of themselves.
Because 99% of the time thatpeople sitting there are like,
if you don't get that coffee inmy cup, now, you're gonna get to
see grumpy me. And I look at himand go, I'm sorry. We're like
the only crazy people in theworld that don't drink coffee.

(16:00):
Can you bring me some hot tea?
Yeah, but they they're doing inthat case? They're generally
doing their best. Yeah.
Anticipate? Yeah. But they theotherwise they'd pour coffee.
And I'd be like, that's not whatI need. Yeah.

Julie R (16:16):
But but so you don't get what you need or want? No,
because you don't ask. And thenwho do you make wrong?

Lynn (16:23):
them? Yeah, ask.

Julie R (16:26):
Right. So so there's there's this dynamic of
withholding what I need or want.
And when I don't get it, I makeyou wrong for not giving

Lynn (16:35):
it to me? Yes, I see that all the time. But even

Julie R (16:41):
like with the wait person, they made some
assumptions. Yeah. And you canreally, that's just as good. Or
that's just as challenging todeal with. Because they didn't
ask. Right? It it negates theconversation that needs to

(17:03):
exist, right? Because the realconversation is Hi, welcome.
What can I get for you? Correct?
It's not here, everybody wantscoffee. So you're getting coffee
too? Well,

Lynn (17:16):
it's interesting. I developed a program called the
roadmap for coordinating action,which is based on it has lots of
work behind different people.
Fernando Flores, was one of theearly founders of language X.
And it is the whole idea of howto create and get what you're
looking for, which is you haveto learn how to make requests.

(17:36):
And you're also one of thethings I've all this is a big
one on the other side of that ismost of the people I worked with
in my corporate life when I wasinside, and now teaching people
on the outside as well as theymake a statement and think
they've made a request. And thenthey'd heard nobody promised to
do anything, but they assumethey will. So they'll go we need
somebody to go inventory thecar, lot by VIN number. And then

(18:00):
nobody says who's going to do itby when? You know, what is good
look like? They don't do any ofthat. They just say we need
somebody to go do that, or ourjewelry, we need to go do that.
And then they just assume you'vesaid yes. And they don't wait
for you to promise to say yes, Ican deliver that. Within all the
other 50 things you've asked meto do.

Julie R (18:23):
Right, it's more of a demand and an expectation than a
request and collaboration.

Lynn (18:27):
Exactly. And so that's why I called it the roadmap for
coordinating action. And I tooksort of that work. And there's
another book, Chalmers brotherswrote that has a lot of this in
there. It's, I can't rememberthe name of his book, I felt
like it should be called therobot for coordinating action.
So I just changed the name ofthe work. But um, I have one of
these days, I'll think of thename of that book. But but it

(18:47):
was so pivotal for me to learnexactly what you're talking
about, right? Which is, we canmake requests and we can make
offers. But don't assumesomebody's going to do something
until you've elicited thatpromise. I always say project
management is actually promisedmanagement.

Julie R (19:06):
Yeah, there's like something that I work with too
is when you and I are talkingabout not being able to raise
our hand and ask for resources.
We're learning to endure thediscomfort of creating work
arounds going without workingwith what we have. So we we
basically are training ourselvesto develop this level of quote

(19:28):
endurance. Hmm. So right, it'sfull of cars have full of coping
strategies and full of all thesetwists and turns that we have to
do to navigate this toxicenvironment.

Lynn (19:46):
That's the interference I often talk about, because it's
not playing because you haven'tasked it's one thing if you say,
can I be sure that we're this iswhat we're going to have to do
then can we talk about the tradeoff Yeah, because if you're
asking me to do 10 things when Ionly have truly the capacity to

(20:06):
do three, which things are youwilling to let fall through the
cracks? And then it's clean,because we all know what we're
talking about, as opposed tojust just don't give me anything
to say I have had bosses like,don't bring that to me just get
it done. And all kinds of weird.
That's where all the weird,pardon my French, but all the
weird shit and corporate stuffstarts to happen is people are

(20:28):
playing these little games.
They're stabbing each other inthe back to get what they need.
So they can look good. So theycannot get fired. Because
they're setting everybody up forfailure when they have that
attitude. Always. Yeah. Yeah.

Julie R (20:42):
Right. When, excuse me, I don't know what's going on.
When we have a culture ofaccountability, we are creating
a culture of blame. When wecreate a culture of
collaboration, we create aculture of connection and

(21:05):
togetherness and brotherhood orsisterhood. So you have to
recognize who you're reallycompeting with, if you're
creating a competitiveenvironment within your
organization. To me, that's afailure as a leader,

Lynn (21:20):
completely, and yet, it is so common.

Julie R (21:23):
Yeah, be because like, all of the analogies we use
around business, to me, isreally messed up. It's war,
we've got to dominate. We've gotto crush them, you're crushing
it, you're crushing them, andyou're crushing it. And we call

(21:46):
that success. Yeah,

Lynn (21:48):
we had a value of one of my organizations that was
initially killed a competition.
And to soften it, they made itcrush the competition. Yeah. Oh,
and what are you supposed to dowith that? Because, you know,
one of the when I'm working withteams, one of the things that
has like such a light bulbmoment for people is, look,
guys, we want conflict aroundideas around what it takes to

(22:11):
solve the problem, not aroundyour relationship with each
other. Right? Right. Theconflict shouldn't be personal,
the conflict is around, which isthe best path for us to go
forward. And then you

Julie R (22:26):
concede your role? It's process? It's yeah.

Lynn (22:29):
Yeah. And, and if we focus on that, as the the organizing
principle, like when I was justsnow skiing. This is a new idea
for me over the last two orthree, maybe four years of
letting the situation tell mewhat to do, when to do how to do
rather than letting me think Ihave to know. So be the conduit

(22:49):
is the idea, right? And the whatI started to recognize, and when
I first put the snow skis on,because I didn't learn as a
child, I learned as an adult, Iwas 30. And already tall as I am
when I learned how to ski. So mybody still says, This is scary,
but I kind of got warmed up. Andthen all of a sudden, I started
realizing I could apply thatidea be the conduit to the

(23:10):
mountain and let it tell me whatto do. So I didn't have to know
how to turn. All I had to do.
That's exactly it. All I had todo was let the mountain tell me
where to turn. You know, there'sa sign over here. There's a
person over there. That'stelling me where to turn. And
then the turn just happens whenyou let it happen as opposed to
be going what how do I do this?

(23:30):
What do I do What which footblah, blah, blah, got out of my
head and into my body by beingthe conduit. And that is the
like a VA way to solve problemsof any sort. Whether it's
working with a horse or workingwith, you know, how to solve the
inventory problem with the carson the

Julie R (23:48):
lot. Yeah. Well, you're speaking to force versus power.
Yes, we misconstrue, that forceis powerful. And it's not its
weakness, asserting itself to beto feel powerful, right. But
power is the ability to read theterrain like not only the signs

(24:08):
and where other people are, butwhere the dips and the moguls
and the snowpack is where's thesnow soft and where's hard and
where can I make an abrupt turnversus I have to take a slow
gradual turn you're reading theterrain is it's coming at you
and you have the freedom in yourbody to adapt and change as

(24:30):
needed. That's a powerful one.

Lynn (24:34):
So I actually in the program that I have the dancing
the tight rope program i There'sa five part flywheel and get
this the first part of theflywheel is read the inner
waters which is learning how toreduce the noise and hear the
true signal. But the second partis read the outer waters, which
is like I was doing read thesnow. Where's the snow soft,

(24:55):
right? Where is it ice? Where'sthere a sign? You know where I'm
going because they Get this thismountain I was on had these like
signs right in the middle. Andyou just, you know, if you
focused on the sign you skatedthe sign. Yeah. So I'd have to
focus on the whitespace oneither side of the sign. Yeah.
When

Julie R (25:12):
I was running barrels, one of the women that I learned
from, she would always say, wedon't process the word don't.
That's right. And so if you say,don't look at the barrel, where
do you think I look? Yeah. And,and so there is that ability of

(25:32):
how do you train someone towrite read their internal
waters? Read their, the externalwaters? You know, and I bet we
have some similarities, too,because there's also when you're
riding a horse, what's emergingbetween you? Mm hmm. You know,
like, like, is, is it escalatinginto something that's bigger

(25:57):
than it is? Are they really,like, I just had kind of a
difficult conversation with aperson last week and, and I was
really able to navigate this.
Okay, what, what is it? I'mreally after and trying to
create, you know, how are theytaking this and receiving this
information? And what are theydoing with it. And what was
really cool is, I could hearthem listening to me and really

(26:22):
taking in what I was saying. Andso when I heard them listening
to me, it actually quieted medown. And so what are bosses do?
Don't bring that to me. I don'thave to listen to that. And it's
true. I've been in thatsituation, I've been that
person. But instead of saying,don't bring it to me, it's
better to say what I need is,and that is vulnerable. And that

(26:47):
is where our power is

Lynn (26:51):
so beautiful for seeing.
Yeah, well, because if we wantto create any kind of harmony,
you can't do it with force.

Julie R (27:01):
Right. And, and the, the phrase that I learned when
riding horses, and I think itapplies to teams and people in
relationships is slow, is smoothand smooth is fast. You start
going in and pushing cattlearound, like, I've moved cattle
where they're strung out formiles, and they're just gonna

(27:22):
get a walk. And they get towhere we're going. If you start
in the back and whooping andhollering and jumping up and
down. Cheering and getting loudand getting big. You destroy all
the workability Yep. You know,you might let out like a hoop or
a holler to move, get somethingstarted. But then, yeah, I can't

(27:44):
let it work. Get out of the way.

Lynn (27:47):
Well, that's the thing you're letting it do its natural
work we have, we have chickensthat we occasionally have to put
up, we've got about 20 chickens.
And they have to go through onelittle like chicken sized hole.
And when we first got them, andwe tried to put them up, it was
flapping wings and clacking, andbecause we'd be like doing the
whole force thing, thinking thatwe could get them in there. And
what we have learned is quiet isthe only way and you just start

(28:10):
directing energy. And veryquietly. And sometimes I get,
we've got like a big, like a bigfish net. But I only use I don't
catch chickens with it. I onlyuse it as a way to make my
energy a little bigger. But wecan walk them in quiet as you
can if you can remember to stealyourself and be very patient and

(28:31):
let the chickens do with thechickens they're going to do
which is just walk.

Julie R (28:38):
Yeah, I think now like circling back to success, I went
after I burned out. I used tosay success is not an
accomplishment. It's a feltsense in the body. Right because
I quote looked successful, but Ididn't feel successful and and I

(29:00):
think the leaders of the futureare going to need because we're
starting to becomeneurodivergent and people are
going to be need differentcommunication and the difference
style of leadership than we'vebeen this demand. I'm, I'm the
boss, I'm the dictator. I'm theking. I'm the queen. I'm the you

(29:22):
do what I say, which is healthyrelationships work for both
people. Yeah. And a lot oftimes, the way we relate is just
right. Like our the way werelate to one thing is the way
we relate

Lynn (29:38):
to anything. How we do anything is how we do
everything.

Julie R (29:42):
And so when we start looking at like cultures and
relationships and what they whatthey do inside of us, like
learning to read those internalmonitors is huge. And to me, I
think those are going to be thepeople who become more
successful.

Lynn (30:02):
Describe for me what felt sense of success feels like.

Julie R (30:10):
I think it's different for everyone. But mine is like
this quiet still power. Like, Ihave gotten to the point that I
used to think all the motion,all the action happened outside,
I had to force things to getthings done. And now I look at

(30:32):
it more of what's the least Ican do. And it's not about being
lazy, but the, you know, can Itake one step towards a cow and
get it on a direction that itneeds to go and then let it go.
I don't have to micromanage thecow, I don't have to make up a
story about cows or I don't haveto make up a story about, you

(30:54):
know, I have to do everythingand make everything happen. It's
this calm, quiet stillness. Soeverything arises out of the
stillness. And I've learned howto notice what's arising, be
present to what I can do andexecute on that. Instead of just

(31:18):
reacting to what people aresaying or doing. So it's more of
a experience a sovereignty inthe way I interact with people.

Lynn (31:28):
So I would say that sounds like an internal locus of
control. Where you aren't folk,you aren't gulping towards a
large goal. Right, where you'rejust accepting step by step, the
little wins and you're acceptingthe little wins is what I'm
hearing. You're right,

Julie R (31:49):
in navigating like, oh, that, that doesn't really work
like it there isn't flow there.
And so instead of going deeperinto it, sometimes I step back
and I look like I was sharingwith you before we started
recording about just in October,I fell for one of the social
media scams It was right beforethe summit. And I entered my, my
login information. So I lost myentire Facebook account. And

(32:15):
immediately my thought was, oh,no, now I have to go create it
again. And I would stop. This ishow the universe creates space
in your life. And so I'm reallyletting my social media grow
organically. And I'm reallythinking through the process of
how do I want to relate tosocial media? What do I want it

(32:38):
to do for me? And how do I wantto use it? Instead of just
dragging my past into my presentmoment? What if I just like
started noticing therelationships that still had
aliveness. And I they became myfriends on Facebook, instead of
trying to go collect all thesepeople that may have been

(33:01):
significant in my life at onetime, but really, like the
friendship has drifted away. Andand I be with that. And so I
have really had this space tolook at, what am I doing with
social media? It's been reallyquiet, social media wise for a
long time.

Lynn (33:22):
Well, since October, which feels lovely, doesn't it? Like
you light up talking about it?

Julie R (33:29):
In ways that it's I haven't been able to articulate
how it's changing me. Becausethere is a freedom in stepping
into a new space withoutdragging my past into it. And I

(33:49):
finally feel like there's apowerful opportunity to create
something that's meaningful tome like, I think that's another
part of the felt sense of beingsuccessful is that not only am I
sovereign and how I show up, butI'm seeing the ability to

(34:12):
influence and create my life,not from my past, not from a
reaction to something not fromovercompensating or, but it's
really in ways pulling me into acalling of how do I want to
participate in social media?

Lynn (34:33):
That is the epitome of the past and forming, as opposed to
interfering with you. Hmm.

Julie R (34:40):
Yeah, that is, and it's fun to be able to distinguish
the oh, that's an old way ofthinking about it. I have to go
find all these friends like whatare they thinking about the
relationships, like, just had afriend reach out and I was like,
oh, yeah, yeah. You know, we hada great conversation yesterday
and then I friended her onFacebook. Yeah, that feels good

(35:04):
to me. It's to me, I wouldrather have a small, connected
group of people around me, thena lot of people around me. And
so right, like, that's kind ofthe opposite of what they say
about social media.

Lynn (35:24):
And that that is exactly how my life has felt as well.
You know, it's and I will exciteout a bit too occasionally
having noise when I see somebodywith their 1000s of followers is
like, what am I not doing thatmakes that happen? And then I'm
like, wait a minute, I love thesmall, you know, mighty
connection I have with peoplewith my email list and with on

(35:45):
social media and so forth. It'svery engaged people. And how can
I walk for more than that? Yeah.
And maybe I think we're maybenot meant to necessarily, at
least most of us have largegroups of people around us. You
know, if you think about the wayhunter gatherers were from 1000s
of years ago, you didn't operatein cities like New York City and

(36:05):
Dallas, Texas, you were in bandsof people that were like up to
150 or so? Well,

Julie R (36:13):
and I think that's why people gravitate towards small
towns in ways

Lynn (36:16):
now nowadays, especially, but then they struggle

Julie R (36:20):
to adapt to a small town. They think they do, but
there's, yeah, it.

Lynn (36:26):
I live in a very small town came from Dallas, Texas,
and then Charlotte, NorthCarolina, to a town of 1000. And
the biggest thing I had to adaptto was the loss of my anonymity.
Yeah. Yeah. Everybody knows whoyou are, if you live in a small
town.

Julie R (36:48):
And right, like the things we can get away with when
we're anonymous?

Lynn (36:54):
Well, this is what's happening, I think, to some
degree in social media, becauseI do think it creates a certain
kind of anonymity. Yeah, youknow, weird because you're
behind a keyboard, and you'remaybe lacking the feeling of
what you're saying, or doingthat you would never do if you
were in that room with someone.
I am fortunate my my Facebookfeed is so for the most part,

(37:15):
very uplifting. And what I'venoticed is for if I pause on
something that has the, youknow, car on the side of the
road wreck feeling like theonlooker, you know, feeling that
causes me to slow down, I'll getmore of that. And I don't want
that stuff. So I've tried to bevery disciplined not to even

(37:37):
slow down on the scroll. Whenthey when Facebook shows me
something, because they're verysensitive to that stuff. They
they start bringing you more ofthat, whatever that is, I
stopped on a pillow at the otherday. And do you know how many
pillow offerings dozen newpillows started showing up? It's
like, Oh, dang, just because Isaw a pretty picture. Yeah,

(37:59):
yeah. But I think that's a veryliteral way to see what we
actually do to ourselves, whichis you get more of what you
touch. And that we are, to somedegree, mostly influenced by the
five people we spend the mosttime with. So be mindful about

(38:21):
where you're spending that timebecause it is influencing you
whether you like it or not.
Yeah,

Julie R (38:30):
one of the things I think we missed the mark on to,
I've said it in a lot ofpresentations is we're not
problem solvers. Right. Andthat, oh, I'm a problem solver.
I like get your rocks and votes.
Yeah. And, and because we'renot, we're caretakers, and when

(38:51):
we don't take care of what needsour care, then we have problems.
So problem solvers are actuallylate.

Lynn (39:03):
Correct. They wait

Julie R (39:05):
for you to break, break your leg on the train, instead
of teaching you how to ski.

Lynn (39:12):
Because they want to be a hero. If you look at it, our
entire medical system is set upas being a problem solver rather
than a caretaker. Because if wewere caretaking, we would not
have 80% of the disease. Andthat's a that's an absolute fact
that has been studied.

Julie R (39:29):
Well, and they say, you know, like the money is in the
problem, but I am and I see thatlike I understand that formula.
But but in reality, I think itcomes back to knowing what we
need vulnerability to ask forit, of being able to request

(39:53):
what we need really creates thecollaboration and the connection
like these five people. And so Ireally have people look at their
needs because I think Maslow wasa huge contribution. I mean, but

(40:15):
think about this. He createdthat theory in 1943. That's

Lynn (40:21):
right. I've read the paper. In fact, I quoted him in
my book.

Julie R (40:25):
And so, but I think he missed something. Well, I
shouldn't say, No, I don't maybehe didn't miss something. He got
it, right. But I think we livein a different time in space in
2023 2024 80 years later, Ithink we still have needs. But

(40:50):
our needs need to be met in themoment and ongoingly. And our
needs aren't the basic minimumto survive, like we've been
educated to be. They are thebasic requirements to thrive.
And so if you want a thrivingcompany, if you want a thriving
organization, you need to beable to identify the needs, and

(41:14):
encourage your employees toidentify needs of not only the
company, but themselves in orderto do their job,

Lynn (41:22):
and of their own of whoever they're serving. Because
I don't care whether you'remanufacturing something or
providing a service. On theother side, your cash flow comes
from your clients, whatever theyare clients, customers,
patients, whatever you callthem. Yeah. And if you don't
understand their needs, right.

Julie R (41:41):
But we usually focus on only the client. And so really,
if you're not taking care ofyour resources, like if you have
some ground, ranching and, andreally, there's only enough
grass to support two horses, andyou put 20 on there, you're

(42:04):
destroying your resources. Andthen you say, Oh, we can just go
buy hay. But then you're at thecost of the market.

Lynn (42:11):
And yeah, you've given your pet. That's a that's a
tangible illustration of givingyour power away. And

Julie R (42:17):
so there, there is a balance, like, maybe you could
buy some hay, and then manage,right? I really think, where a
lot of businesses get introuble, I worked with a client
who the new CEO grew the revenuefrom 3 million to 10 million,

(42:39):
and it sounded like a successstory. The problem is, is they
didn't even they hadn't evenpurchased the quick equipment
for what he was selling. So theycouldn't even do

Lynn (42:52):
what he had already promised. Yep, that's in that
the story of Theranos. You know,the blood, Elizabeth Holmes
thing. On hers was on steroids,but made a bunch of promises
they couldn't keep, never beable to keep.

Julie R (43:09):
Yeah. But but we taught them as being successful. Right?

Lynn (43:13):
Put them on the cover of Fortune. Yeah, call them the
next big thing. I gotunderstanding the sustaining
what it takes to createsustaining and you know, you're
an accountant. So you understandthis idea? No, no growing
business ever cash flows and ashrinking business, always cash
flows. Because, you know,you're, you're selling off
assets and so forth. But thequestion is, how do you dance

(43:34):
that tightrope, as I say, togrow in a way that is
sustainable, and you're growingfrom within and your own ability
to fund that over time, asopposed to setting yourself up?
You know, in, in your analogyfor ranching on hay is like,
when companies take on way moredebt that they can pay? Yeah.

Julie R (43:56):
Yeah. And right, like, like we bigger is not better.
Right. It's knowing where we'repowerful, like in our
sovereignty, to be able to makechoices in if we have autonomy
in relationship, we can reallystart to develop a

(44:19):
collaboration. But once I starthaving to give to you to get
from you, that becomesmanipulative. Whenever I start
to demand of you to give to methat becomes dominant. Yeah.
And, and really, our strongest,like the net is really strongest

(44:42):
when we collaborate. Yeah. Andwhat amazes me is I have yet to
come across somebody who has thecourage to speak about what
really creates goodrelationships in business. And
yet we say it's All aboutbusiness. Its business is all
about relationships. But weoperate from the What can this

(45:06):
relationship do for me? Like,how big is your email list? How
many media followers do youhave? What exposure can you give
me? That's not the kind ofrelating that I'm talking about

Lynn (45:19):
me either. And, and it's not how I choose to relate with
people. I don't relate withpeople, because I think they
have something to offer me likethat. Because we've already said
to me, that shows up as beingnot as fulfilling anyway. But
you're that, that that thattransactional relationship that

(45:42):
I, you know, I come to youbecause you can give me
something. It's really hard, bythe way, especially inside of a
company to stay out of that, butthis is the nature of our
politics as well, likeeverything is based on that, and
it's going to collapse onitself. Because you can't ever
balance the books with thosekinds of promises, or that that
kind of gamesmanship. Yeah. Butback to your Maslow thing, have

(46:07):
you heard? Are you familiar withScott Barry Kaufman, he wrote a
book called transcendence, Ibelieve was the name of it. And
I actually have him in my bookto put one of his diagrams in
there because he said, like,he's a Maslow junkie, as he
calls himself, but he said hegot something wrong, because,
but he said he didn't get itwrong. The pyramid that we all

(46:29):
use with Maslow was not drawn byMaslow, it was, it was drawn by
consultants in the 60s. SoMaslow actually did not make
that pyramid distinction, whichgives you this picture that you
have to have the bottom in orderto have the top if you will, and
that the top only happens oncethe bottom is solid. And Scott,

(46:50):
Barry Kaufman says it's muchmore dynamic. And he uses a
sailboat analogy. And he said,the core needs are your boat.
And it has to not have it has tobe free of holes, it has to be
able to move through the water,but your self expression side of
the equation, if you will,that's your sales. That's what
moves you along. So your boatkeeps you floating, and your

(47:11):
sales give you motion. And Ithink that is the perfect sort
of tight rope analogy that Icould think of, because I always
think that, you know, my idea ofdancing the tightrope is,
there's this, this beautifulplace that you're not over and
under doing it, you're not overand under reacting. You're not
doing dominance versusvictimhood. You know, you're not
doing whatever, out of balancethings on each continuum, you

(47:33):
found that happy medium. And tome, his analogy is beautiful,
because we need both a good boatand the sails. One without the
other is no good.

Julie R (47:42):
It's not linear. What what's really interesting is I
heard Simon Sinek in an in aninterview, and he says, you
know, they're not hierarchical.
Have you ever heard of somebodycommitting suicide? Because they
were hungry? Right, that speaksto our mental and our emotional
needs? You know, I, I think thatthere's five personal needs, and

(48:04):
they're a little bit differentthan Maslow's. You know, there
are in our personal needs areour responsibility to meet. So
they are physical, energetic,emotional, mental and spiritual.
But then we're not Annika, could

Lynn (48:25):
you say that again?
Slower? Because I know peopleare, like me are probably
wanting to write this down.
Physical, energetic. Yep,

Julie R (48:32):
energetic, emotional, mental, and spiritual,

Lynn (48:36):
mental and spiritual.
Yeah.

Julie R (48:38):
So if we look at mindset, you know, and I think
all of these layers aredeveloping individually, like as
we age, but then they also aredeveloping all the time. If you
think about our physical safety,when we're a child, you know,

(49:00):
living at home, usually ourcircle of people is really
small. And then as we get older,and we go to high school, and
then college like that, ourability to maintain our own
sense of safety should grow aswe get exposed to larger groups
of people. But so our physicalcould be what we eat, how we

(49:23):
move, how, how we sleep. Yep,sleep, because the body needs
sleep, which is different thanrest rest is. So there's this.
It's also our ability to take onresponsibility for maintaining
and caring for our resources,like oil in your car, managing

(49:45):
your money, plugging your cellphone in, washing your clothes,
those types of things. Now,energy is how we work with our
sense of vitality, our sense ofaliveness we You need to have
solitude and step away from thenoise? Or how can you go to

(50:07):
something like an event like thesummit and being engaged and
receive energy from people, youknow, there's, but how we manage
our energy is really crucial.
And I think a lot of people areso used to go, go, go push,
push, push, they don't know howto navigate the waves of the
sailboat or the terrain of themountain. Right? Because we're

(50:28):
not meant to be going 100 milesan hour, every day, all day.

Lynn (50:35):
There has to be recovery.
In fact, this is what I focus somuch on with people is the
ability to recover both yourenergy and recover from
mistakes. Because like, I youknow, Kansas Carradine was on my
podcast last week, and we talkedabout how she would take people
out of balance to to teach forgrinding, not because she wanted
them to be out of balance, butshe wanted them to have the

(50:58):
confidence that they knew how toget back in balance. Yeah,

Julie R (51:01):
I would teach when I taught yoga. Yeah, like, we
build strength in the wobble, sowe have to be willing to wobble.

Lynn (51:09):
No, I like that, quote, we'd have to be willing to
wobble. Yeah.

Julie R (51:13):
You know, and when I was a kid, I had a weeble
wobble. Do you remember that wasyes.

Lynn (51:19):
But but they don't fall down.

Julie R (51:22):
And so that that's a motto for strength?

Lynn (51:25):
Yeah.

Julie R (51:27):
And, and I, part of me was like, should we explain what
a weeble wobble is?

Lynn (51:35):
I mean, it was weebles wobble, but they don't fall
down. It was like that. It hadlike a heavy base. And you could
push it, but it always righteditself. And it's a beautiful
analogy for recovery. Becauseyou could push it as far as you
want it in, it always found away to get back to center. And,
you know, I think a lot ofpeople live life like don't push

(51:55):
me Don't make me wobble becauseI don't trust that I can come
back. Yeah,

Julie R (52:00):
we want you to deep restraint. We use rules and
account of fault. Instead of,oh, there's something that needs
to happen. They're like, what,what's going on here? Let's
figure this out. So we can getback to a sense of rightness,
and righteousness?

Lynn (52:18):
No, right? Like back in balance, because we move through
a balance point, right? It's adynamic alignment. But we have
to be out of balance. If it'sbecause the dynamic things are
moving all the time. And if youlook at well, I just came out of
the blizzard in Utah, and thetrees bend in the wind. If they
were rigid, they would break.
Engineers finally realize wehave to follow nature and they

(52:42):
build buildings, tall buildings,with the right amount of sway.
If they don't have display, therigidity of the building will
make them fall down.

Julie R (52:51):
Yeah. And what's interesting, I did some research
on a on an email I sent thisfall about, you know, we have
this idea that fall is all aboutletting go and we just released
the leaves. But what's reallyhappening happening inside that
tree is they're, they'reresponding to the signals that

(53:14):
they need to conserve resources.
As they pull those resources into conserve resources.

Lynn (53:22):
They lose the leaves.
Yeah. So

Julie R (53:26):
in ways it is letting go. But it's also their
understanding. You know, it, Ican articulate and speak through
the trees, they're understandingthe power of conservation, and
knowing when to pull inside, andlet go of what it looks like on
the outside. Because the moreleaves that are on the branches,

(53:51):
the more weight that is on thebranches, the more it's weighted
down, and the more snow it willhold. And the less mobile it
becomes.

Lynn (54:01):
And it has to also read the hidden life of trees. And
this was one of the things thatreally struck me was that the
trees are aware of when toconserve water. Because when the
leaves are on the trees, theyhave to suck up 1000s of pounds
of water all the way up from theground and into those leaves.
And the younger trees that don'tknow any better sometimes

(54:22):
overuse the water and don'trealize that they're going to
suffer later because this thisis a signal that you're not
going to have water for a while.
And you know, if you look at theidea of wintering, which we're
in the middle of winter, aswe're recording this, that that
need to sort of do what l ofnature does, which is sort of
settle in and be quiet. Youmentioned as we were getting on

(54:44):
you haven't been out of yourhouse in three days because of
the weather that's there, butthat to me is wintering like
slowing things down. I'venoticed for me I tend tend to
wake up and go to sleep morewith the sunrise and sunset
which is really tough because Ido. This is why I do pottery at
night, because I don't want togo to bed at six o'clock at
night. But I pretty much as muchas I can fight to wake up with

(55:06):
the light and without an alarm.
And to sort of my entire rhythmin the winter is different than
it is in the summer. I'm notnearly as Go, go go. I'm more
inclined to do my walking typethings for exercise as opposed
to in the summer. I'mwaterskiing. I ride you ride

(55:27):
horses year round, but it's justa different rhythm in the
winter.

Unknown (55:31):
It should be because we are nature. Yeah, if we

Lynn (55:35):
could only remember that.
That's where we need to get allour clues like you know, I look
at airplanes and they figuredout flaps and landing gear and
aerodynamics from watchingbirds. And actually, this is I
have a pretty big heartache withairplane designers and we have
airplanes that fly there, Johnairworthy 737 Max being one of
them. But I have heartache whenwe build things that are not air

(55:59):
worthy. Because we think we knowbetter we think our computers
can do better. But what you'vedone is put living human beings
in planes that if the computerfails, they die. And well, they
carted the bird. That's it.
Because if you you know, I fly,and if my engine quits, I have a
glider. And I can put that planedown. And this happens every

(56:21):
day. I follow it. i One of mygroups I follow on Facebook is
an aviation group. Almost everyday somebody puts a plane down
on a highway. It happened inAsheville last month, or in a
field and walks away when theirengine quits. Because they have
a glider when it's done. It'sstill an air worthy plane when
the when the injured stuff.
Yeah, but like you said, we'velost the bird. And I think it's

(56:42):
a great metaphor for what we'redoing to our society. It's like
any place that we've donesomething that requires that
level of human intervention orwe die. We're off. We're off
track.

Unknown (56:53):
Yeah. Yeah.

Lynn (56:55):
Yeah, that's, that's a whole subject. But I want to go
back because you said somethingvery interesting. earlier. And I
would like to hear you riff onthis a little bit about the
sleep versus rest distinction?

Julie R (57:11):
Well, it's interesting it because it requires a tuning
in, you know, when we arechecked out and burning the
candle at both ends, and doingmore and more and more and more
and more and more and more andmore. We, to me have lost our
connection with ourselves. Wehave lost our ability to tap

(57:34):
into our guidance system.

Lynn (57:36):
I've talked about that I have a whole program on
recalibrating your internalguidance system with your own
tuning fork. Hmm.

Julie R (57:44):
Yeah. And, and so when we get good at developing our
internal guidance system, we canfeel the difference between
needing to rest and needingsleep. And so sleep is where we
go into, like, cellular repair,you know. And in fact, sleep is

(58:10):
one of my goals and priorities.
Because I know that when I sleepwell, I think better I my mind
fog is gone, I'm better able tobe present with people I'm not
so easily irritated. So sleep iswhere we are in ways
recalibrating. And I haven'tspoken to this before in this

(58:33):
podcast, but after I leftaccounting, I became a massage
therapist. So I've been doingmassage for since 2008. And so
it really has connected me tothe body in a way that I think I
always had when I was ridinghorses like that deep connection
of even now I can feel inembodies, I can feel the

(58:58):
difference between like anenergetic or an emotional or
mental tension versus a physicaltension. And so rest is
sometimes I put my hands onpeople, and they are just tired,
and you feel the tiredness intheir bones. And they need sleep
and rest. There's other timeswhere you just like your mind is

(59:23):
spinning and you just need toquiet down like quiet internally
quiet the internal disturbanceand rest and so there's times
like when when I'm working andI'm writing something and it's
not quite coming together. Iwill go meditate. I will go you
know just kind of it does thatitchy sketch on my brain. And

(59:49):
there are times where I know Ijust need to step away from my
work because if I get in thereand try and force it I'm just
gonna get frustrated.

Lynn (01:00:00):
Would you say rest is where we put down the burdens
were carrying? And letting themnot have to be carried? That?

Julie R (01:00:14):
I think for me, it's probably different for everyone.
I think rest is like when you'rehiking up a really steep
mountain, then you just need topause for recovery. Hmm. Yeah.
You know, it's, it's a, it's atool to keep going. It's a
signal that maybe you've doneenough at the moment. Like, if,

(01:00:38):
when I'm working with clients, Ihave a client recently that I,
like they're, they're so used tojust pushing the paper through.
Then they said, When youcomplete one task, I want you to
stand up from your desk and walkout your office door and come
back. Because I'm training youto look for a stopping point in
your day, where you can completeyour days of work, and then go

(01:01:02):
home. And if you can't recognizethat sit that signal, you can
take that same energy home withyou.

Lynn (01:01:13):
And call that yeah, living life as a run on. Senate's Yeah,
we're having any punctuation.
Yeah. Like put a period in thereonce in a while. Or a comma.
Yeah, even a comma would begood. Yeah,

Julie R (01:01:25):
a semicolon. Yes. I've done all this, and I need a rest
for five minutes. Well,

Lynn (01:01:32):
if anybody ever tries to read a book without punctuation,
without any commas or periods,they quickly understand what
they're doing to their lives.
Because you can't like the restis what it's the space between
the notes. It's the negativespace in a piece of art. It's
those little moments of pause,that let us take in what's
happening. And, you know, Jim,Lord did a great job in his

(01:01:53):
books, talking about forathlete's recovery of
oscillation, like, you know, oneof the experiences that he was
talking about was autographingin batches. And he would instead
of like when he was given abunch of books to autograph, you
know, instead of doing 100, inone fell swoop, he would do 10
and pause, 10 and pause. And hecould do that all day long.

(01:02:15):
Yeah, but if you did, 100, withnon stop, that would kind of be
all he could do in a day. Yeah.
And then he had, like his restwas put upon him as opposed to
his choice. Well, it'sinteresting.

Julie R (01:02:31):
I am not a runner. But I did run for a couple years in
my life. And the only place Iever ran was in the icebreaker
and the local, fun run. But howthey trained us was interval
training. Yes, you know, you runfor one minute walk for one
minute run for one minute walkfor one minute, and you do that
for 30 minutes. Cool. And, and Inever ran a marathon, but the

(01:02:56):
person who is training us said,you know, I actually cut time
off my marathon time by doingintervals. And, and that, and
then, obviously, you staggeredthe time, then you'd run for
like two minutes and walk forone, you know, and then use you
worked with it to find like theright mix of activity and rest

(01:03:19):
activity, unrest or unrestdoesn't mean do nothing
necessarily. It could be backoff from the intensity. Right?
You know, like when people arereally dealing with their inner
critic. I always say if you'reused to kicking yourself, if you

(01:03:40):
kick yourself one less time,that self care.

Lynn (01:03:44):
That's that's the beginning. Right? Yeah, just

Julie R (01:03:46):
start with, okay.
You're used to be writingyourself for 10 minutes. Okay.
Do it for nine minutes and 59seconds.

Lynn (01:03:55):
That's progress and give yourself credit for the
progress. No. So we talked atthe beginning, you were talking
about the two before. So I haveoften referred to beating myself
up as with the two before,right. And it's that it's that
thing where I could be the twobefore for you. I can be beating
you up which by the way, whenyou describe yourself as the two

(01:04:16):
before I was like, Oh, I was twoI was like so strident, and so
get after it. And I even I was arisk manager at the bank. So I
got to be known as the bankbitch, because I was the one
that said no to loans. But Ithink there was more to it than
that. I think I truly wasprobably two people the bank
bitch. But learning how not tobeat yourself up. I think that's
the beginning of coming out ofthe hole,

Julie R (01:04:39):
I think is recognizing that I didn't

Lynn (01:04:43):
Yeah, and often that we're okay, let's say I'm not beating
myself up. Let's say I'm beatingyou up. I'm still beating myself
up through you. Yes, yep. Right.
And it's my inability totolerate things going wrong,
which is back to the weeblewobble thing. Like we have to be
able to tolerate being gottabalance.

Julie R (01:05:02):
Yeah. Yeah, it's it's the, the ability to deal with
what is, you know, I had thisfriend in college and and this
is kind of like, how ourbackgrounds are different her
parents taught her how toadvocate for herself. So she can

(01:05:23):
go up and talk to somebodyabout, oh, well, we would like
to create this. And they wouldsay no. And she didn't say,
Well, what about this? And whatabout? And here's an idea of how
it could work. And I was taughtto not ask. Mm hmm. A lot of us
were and, and in reality, I tellparents all the time, and I am

(01:05:45):
not a parent. But I tell parentsall the time, the most
empowering thing you can do foryour kid is teach them to ask
for what they need and want

Lynn (01:05:53):
and be able to take no for an answer. Because guess what,
you might get a no.

Julie R (01:05:56):
Well, that's part of negotiation because well, is
when I didn't ask and didn't askand didn't ask and didn't ask
and didn't ask. I went withoutand went without and went
without. And then when I neededair, I went, Oh, yeah, you know,
there's a demand. And then Ididn't get it. And then I made
myself wrong. This is thehamster wheel of self
improvement that I talked about.
And then I made myself wrong. Soinstead of learning how to ask

(01:06:21):
for my needs, sooner, I deniedit. So the intensity got
stronger, I would react, demandit, then I'd feel guilty and
feel bad. And I tried to, Itried to change the need, I
tried to not need it. Mm hmm.
And so that just creates moreenduring more resentment, more

(01:06:45):
overwhelm. Because our needs arewired into our nervous system.
If we don't get what we want, attimes, we start playing small.
We quit going after what wewant. But when we win all the
time, and never hear no, we haveto deal with our ability to take

(01:07:11):
no for an answer. So there'sthis whole development process.
That's why I call myself apersonal development coach,
because it's, it's not helpingyou perform, it's developing you
into who you are proud to be,who you can count on yourself,
being who people can count onyou being and being a person you

(01:07:31):
really know and love, and areproud to be, and you participate
and contribute from there. Youknow, a lot of our bosses have
never been developed as into ahuman being that is not rewarded
for their performance. And thatcan be a very lonely, isolating,

(01:07:54):
in fact, I would say eventerrifying place to be. Because
you don't have anybody who willtell you the truth. You don't
have anyone who will tell youno. And I don't believe we
really have relationship untilwe can acknowledge somebody
else's know and respect theirknow, that

Lynn (01:08:15):
is such a powerful statement. And I can say,
working with so many people inthe boss world, a lot of the
people my clients are bosses ofother people, sometimes hundreds
of 1000s of people. And whilethey may not personally
acknowledge it is terrifying. Itis, as they would call it
because stress, stress andanxiety are the blurry words we

(01:08:36):
use for you know, fear scared.
Yeah.
Right. But what what they wouldsay, and I actually, I actually
did have a client once, we werein a room of a couple of 100
people. And I had done anopening exercise with the group
about how to make decisions. Andto we did like a little 10

(01:08:59):
question quiz, to give them asense of how their decision
certainty was, like, you can youknow, you're going to answer
these questions within a rangeof certainty. And you can make
up the range of certainty. Butthe punchline was, that they
don't know nearly as much asthey think they do. And so they

(01:09:20):
really wanted to help peopleunderstand how important it is
to stress test your assumptions.
And, you know, reallyinterrogate the reality you're
working around. But in themiddle of that conversation,
somebody raised his hand and hegoes, this is all well and good,
but what about the fact that wecan't tell anybody the truth,
it's above us in theorganization. And of course, I'm
there as the boss's who'sstanding in the corner, you

(01:09:43):
know, person that he brought in,and so I just like stopped the
room and said, Okay, we have anopportunity now to talk about
how to get truth up to the top.
And I look over at the clientsaid, Are you going for this? He
goes This is all I want to do.
And the rest of the conversationwas how to tell truth to power.

Julie R (01:10:05):
Yeah. Or power without truth.

Lynn (01:10:09):
I would 100% agree. But this was actually in a, this was
in a in a setting where therewas a lot more politics than
your average place because itwas the DC, the DC matrix, I
would call it and the idea ofbeing able to, I think it comes
from what you were describingearlier, advocate for yourself,
if you don't know how to do thatyou cannot ever speak truth to

(01:10:31):
power? And the the simple factis, I've observed it is the
people who do have some level ofability to do that, to negotiate
for what they need to be able tosay no, especially to somebody
that's above them in theorganization. Or to say that
doesn't make sense. Those arethe people who claim. Yeah, it's
not the people who sit back andtry to please everybody.

Julie R (01:10:52):
Yeah, and it comes back to when we don't know what our
needs are. We have we struggledto thrive. Because our our needs
are where we need to invest.
It's the foundation.

Lynn (01:11:11):
You know, something you said interestingly about our
needs that brought this up. Andit was a big insight. For me, I
was reading. And I don'tremember who wrote the book, but
it was a book about brain powerand how we're hardwired and how
our needs are hardwired. It wasthe first time I came to
recognize that fairness ishardwired. Because if you are

(01:11:36):
living in a small group ofpeople, and you've, let's say,
make one kill to feed the groupfor the next, what several days
or whatever, if one person isthe glutton and takes it all,
you're taking away from otherpeople's life. And animals get
this animals know if you anybodythat's ever thought of her herd
of horses, they know who got themost food, always

Julie R (01:11:59):
hoarding of any kind is a psychological defect, even if
we call it success. Even if welook over there and say they
have more, so they have success.
They're six more successfulhoarding of any kind is a
psychological defect.

Lynn (01:12:17):
Yeah, because it's a fear of not having enough and not
being enough. I have to say, Iprobably have some of that I
have I look around I see I'm noI'm definitely hoarding books
right now. I'm looking at thestack going, would that qualify?
I've got about 15 books on thisstack over here, only half of
which I've read.

Julie R (01:12:37):
Well, right. I even think like, there, there's a
spectrum on that, too. Becausewhat I hear is you might be
hoarding books, but you'resharing the wisdom of those
books. Trying, not hoarding.

Lynn (01:12:52):
Okay. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah. But, um, but I and I
also feel like, as I have, as Ihave grown older and grown
within myself, and I don't thinkthose are the same things.
Because I know a lot of peoplewho have grown older who haven't
grown within themselves, but Ihave become much, much more
willing to let things passthrough, as opposed to holding

(01:13:16):
on. And, you know, letting go ofthings that I don't need, so
that someone else can enjoythem. Yeah, you know, I just put
my favorite pair of snow bootsthis morning on the to go out
list. Because I've got another Ineeded a new pair, because these
are there. I've loved them formany, many years, but I've had
them for 20 years. And they'rejust not serving me anymore. And

(01:13:40):
I've kept him probably in thecorner of the closet for five
years longer than they need tobe because I haven't worn them
in five years now.

Julie R (01:13:47):
And so I need an emotional need.

Lynn (01:13:50):
They will they might have been meeting and maybe they
don't now, and that's why we letthem go, right. But I looked at
them. And I said this is notright, somebody else needs to
have these boots. And that thatto

Julie R (01:14:02):
me is a natural progression. Right, because at
one time you needed them. Yeah.
And you needed them and youneeded them and you needed them
and then you didn't but there isstill an attachment there, which
is more of an emotional orsentimental need, which

Lynn (01:14:17):
is why it's so hard to declutter. Yeah, because I got a
lot of emotional attachments tocertain things.

Julie R (01:14:24):
And I don't think that there's anything wrong with
that. One of the people Ilistened to talks about whatever
grows accumulates, and what weaccumulate is memories. And then
we get attached to the identityof our memories. And that's why
we have trouble creating a newself. But I do think like you're

(01:14:46):
saying there's a naturalprogression of others a cycle
of, you know, when I wasteaching yoga, there's how you
enter a pose. There's how youexpress a pose. There's how you
exit a pose and Hmm, you don'tgo back and try and create the
same pose, you create the pose,new again. And what you're

(01:15:09):
speaking to with your ski bootsis that progression. There was a
time when they entered yourlife, there was an expression
while you use them. And thenthere was the exit strategy that
was five years, you know, andnow you're like, Okay, I'm, it's
a natural way of letting it go.
It's a release, not somethingpulling away or clinging to.

Lynn (01:15:32):
Right, it's a release.
That's, that's, that's eitherside that clinging versus
pulling away. Somebody's takingthem away. That's those two
sides of the tightrope with thebeing on the tightrope being the
release. Yeah, that's abeautiful way to look at it.
Yeah, so now, you said you werejust mentioning the yoga poses?
Do you still teach yoga and domassage therapy as well as your
tell me what you're doing?

(01:15:54):
Describe your life now. Like,what's it like?

Julie R (01:15:59):
Ah, you know, okay, as a person I've always craved the
security. That's why I went intoaccounting is it was going to be
secure and inconsistent. Andwhat I find is sometimes our,
our spiritual path, like whowere born to be, and our life

(01:16:20):
plan for ourselves, don't jive.
And so basically, after I leftmy accounting job, I went into
massage therapy. And that wasworking with a mentor at the
time. And she's she asked me,she's, she's like, so what, what
is it that you desire to do? Andhe immediately like, I don't

(01:16:43):
even know where this came from.
It was, I want to touch whathurts and do no harm.

Lynn (01:16:53):
Yeah. So what's coming up for you right now?

Julie R (01:16:59):
In right, like, that was that glimmer? I heard back
in college. Of I've never heardanyone speak was such a passion.
For this healing, I wouldn'thave call it healing back then.

(01:17:20):
Right? It would have been, Oh,I'm gonna help people. I'm going
to help them improve. I wantthem to do better. And I hate
the word better. Better, what?
Let's get what's better, likedefine better, because often
better is a place that we'renever going to get to. Because
we haven't ever looked at whatbetter really is. And so I went
into massage and I, like I wenton this really deep, spiritual

(01:17:45):
journey of really understandingmy life's purpose who I am. I
went to a healer in Bali. And itbasically, I went there for a
yoga retreat, and the yogaretreat got canceled because the
volcano was erupting. Oh, well,yeah, it was on eminent

(01:18:06):
eruption. And so it was my firstinternational solo trip like
100% solo, I went three weeks,and I am, I am doing all these
energetic grounding techniques.
And all of these. I'll just sayenergy clearing practices that

(01:18:30):
helped me stay like really calmin the presence of I don't know
what I'm walking into. And whatended up what I ended up seeing
is I went to, I follow throughwith my plan i of where the yoga
retreat was going to be held.
And I was the only one thatcontinued there. Because the
evacuate camp was in the villagethat I went to, like, you know,

(01:18:55):
it doesn't make sense. You wantto move the retreat and charge
me more money because it'scosting you more money, when in
reality, they've evacuated allthe people that are a lot of the
people to this village becauseit's a safe space. And so in
that, like I had eight days ofjust kind of nothing. And so

(01:19:15):
they asked me what I wanted todo and the the person well, she,
I believe she was like theexecutive director of this
community. And I told her I'mlike, I would like to see a
healer you know, I'm strugglingwith some things in my life and

(01:19:35):
I want to go see this healer andI had, I had prophetic dreams.
And so I had dreams that werecoming true while I was on this
trip. And one of them I had thisdream of this little brown boy
peeing off a porch. I mean, liketwo, three years old. And when
we walked into that temple tosee the healer, here's this
little brown boy peeing off theporch. Wow. And I walked in, and

(01:19:58):
I sat down in front of him. AndI literally just started crying.
And it lasted about two hoursall through an interpreter. I
was the only white person there.

(01:20:18):
And it was just it was reallyprofound. I mean, he spoke
things into my life that there'sno way he could know about me.
No. And he, I literallyvibrated, like, in a meditation
with him, like I looked to seeif I was bouncing off the
ground, I was deliberating thatintensely. I mean, it curled up

(01:20:41):
into a little egg, like I put myhands on my head and my elbows
on my knees, and I'm sittingthere, and it was probably the
most intense, intenselyspiritual and mundane thing I've
ever experienced. But at thesame time, like I was completely
aware of something profound ishappening. And also completely
aware of where I was. And a lotof things just fell in place for

(01:21:06):
me from that. Now, so afterthat, I came back, I went in
2017. And then in 2019, Istarted doing coaching. And so
I'm finding this balance,because I've just recently
returned to doing massage work.
Oh, really. And there issomething that that happens for

(01:21:29):
me, it happened when I wasriding horses there. And to me,
like I experienced the worldthrough touch I am. If you start
talking about like the othergifts that we have, I'm
Clairsentience I have an abilityto feel things are beyond me.

(01:21:49):
And so working with massage andworking with bodies, like it's
amazing. Like I had somebody onmy table recently that was
saying, push harder. And I'mlike, No, I said, what I want to

(01:22:11):
encourage you to do is learn howto relax. You're so used to
pushing and you're so braced inyour body. That it feels like I
have to push harder for you tofeel anything. But really you
have to soften in order to beable to feel and and so I am
really toying with I and Ishared with you before we got on

(01:22:40):
like this is my time where Ispend time writing and doing
some personal channeling workand just more like automatic
writing. Like I asked questionsto my higher self and then I
journal and you know about mylife about what I bring to the
table how I need to participateand and it's a practice that

(01:23:02):
circles in and out. But rightnow, like this practice is
really active for me and andit's telling me I need to teach
again. And I don't know whatthat's gonna look like, yet. I
know my purpose in life is deeptransformational healing. Hmm.

(01:23:24):
Not everybody's ready for that.
And the modalities I use arewords in touch. And, and that's
why, like when writing when Iwas younger, like why riding

(01:23:45):
horses was so powerful to mebecause it was plugging me into
my purpose. Doesn't mean I'm ahorse trainer. I mean, I've
trained horses but but it helpedreveal a piece of me that it
will take me a lifetime, if notlifetimes to understand. And I

(01:24:06):
think that's the the spiritualjourney of of B. It's the
challenge of being able to seeyour spiritual journey and how
you're developing as a beingversus who you are as a human.

Lynn (01:24:21):
Julie, where where would you put energy in your
modalities? Like you said, wordsin touch, but what came up for
me as well was energy

Julie R (01:24:31):
that you use? Well. To be totally honest, I'm an
empath. So I pick up on all theenergies around me and that's
why the board room was probablythe most terrifying place on the
planet to me. It had nothing todo with my skills had nothing to

(01:24:55):
do with what I brought to thetable. But I could feel
energetically, I was picking upon I will say all the
undercurrents all the undertonesof what was really going on. And
I didn't have a language tospeak to it, or even an

(01:25:15):
awareness or knowledge. And sothat was a huge contribution to
my burnout because I didn't havea language for energy. And yet,
I say to this day, if you canread a cow, if you can read a
horse, you're reading energy.
Correct, you're reading aninvisible intention.

Lynn (01:25:38):
And so, and moving things with it, like you can move an
animal with nothing but energy.
Yeah.

Julie R (01:25:46):
And so, really, like part of that is when you when
you harness that power of yourown personal energy is is
really, to me that success whenyou have a command of your own

(01:26:06):
spirit, when you and I don'tmean like a domination like I'm
controlling it, it's with withthe horse. And you're riding a
horse, like you're ridingborrowed energy, you're riding
borrowed power.

Lynn (01:26:27):
I have said that so many times. And

Julie R (01:26:30):
well. But the thing is, is there's I used to say like
you can see when we sync it'snot collapsing to get in meshed
in saying we are two autonomousbeings creating something bigger
together in harmony in harmony.
Gao data is power. And powerrequires a vulnerability. It's,

(01:26:56):
I can I was writing one of thelast horses I rode was this big
truck caner. And he was aretired eventing horse. And I
turned him at as a sensitivesoul with a goofy personality.
And the first time I wrote him,I just kind of wrote him around.

(01:27:21):
And I would say I snuck a rideon him. Because, I mean, he was
a big horse. And I mean, I'mused to my dad took me to the
mountains at nine years old, Iwrote double behind my brother
for three days and up on a packsaddle pad, like I have written
some in some places, and somehorses that No, not a lot of

(01:27:43):
people got along with, I'll saythat. And so the second time I
rode him, his trainer was there,and the person I was riding with
my trainer was there. And hethis horse kicked some dirt
against a barn door and hesucked sideways, like, probably
15 feet, and I'm an Englishsaddle. And I caught his

(01:28:07):
shoulders, like with my my cues,my hands on my legs. And, and
when I caught him, he startedrare. And I reached down and
grabbed a handful of mean and Iwent, don't do that and I jerked
on his mouth twice. Quiet, and Iwrote him off and both trainers
jumped out of their seat. And mytrainer said you didn't even

(01:28:31):
lose your seat. And the othertrainer said, you just proved
your worth his time worthy

Lynn (01:28:39):
of Him. This is the thing a lot of times people don't
understand is the horse isasking, Are you worthy of
working with me? Can we be inharmony? Like, it's like, I use
this example so many times. As anon surfer. It's hysterical. But
I heard LAIRD HAMILTON once seesa great big wave surfer. Surfer

(01:28:59):
describe the ocean. And he saysdon't go out there. If you don't
know how to ride those waves.
The ocean doesn't care. Yeah, itwill eat you alive. Yeah. And
it's the same as like, don'tride a horse that you're not
worthy of right? Like he showedyou. I have this power. Are you
up for this? Yes. And you saidwe can dance. He called me

Julie R (01:29:19):
into being.

Lynn (01:29:20):
I love that. You know,

Julie R (01:29:22):
like he asked. He's like, I'm an athlete.

Lynn (01:29:28):
Mm hmm.

Julie R (01:29:29):
And you can you match me? And the thing is, is I
didn't hold it against him.

Lynn (01:29:36):
He was just asking.

Julie R (01:29:38):
I just carried on and I took a deep breath and I'm like,
okay, and and a lot of peoplesay you ride your horse every
step. I was like this horse Iwrote every footfall.

Lynn (01:29:47):
Exactly, I mean, more things happening between every
stride. Well, that's you know,in this I'm telling you about
the like five part cycle I have.
That's the fourth part of thecycle is breaking things down
into the tiniest frames. Andthen But then getting in sync
with your tuning fork at everytiny little frame. Because, you
know, writing off was 500frames. Yeah.

Julie R (01:30:11):
But but something that I always I know, I didn't always
do something I learned to do asa writer. You know, after I
burned out, like, I was workingthrough a lot of stuff, like,
What'd I do wrong? What did theydo wrong? You know? Like, I was
looking for the blame to feelbetter. And yeah. And like, one

(01:30:34):
day, I walked out to catch myhorse. And this was a horse that
would come running from thepasture to meet me at the gate.
And he was avoiding me. It waslike, you know, our hair. You
know, keep avoiding me. And oneday, I was just like, Okay, I
recognize like, there'ssomething going on inside of me

(01:30:56):
that I don't even understand.
But I promise you, I won't beatyou up with my bullshit. I will
come out here and if I feel likeI'm an arraignment, I'm gonna
ring and hang. And I'm gonna geton your back. I just won't get
on. And, and I won't say that itchanged our relationship with
that horse. But the true canerthat I was riding I remember, I

(01:31:17):
would go out and, and he wasfun. Like, he would see me at
the gate. And you'd be like, hehad Winnie at me. You know, he
was he was fun. He was engaging,like I would leave the bar when
he would even come in, but hishead would be in there watching.
Right not like not mean, but Istarted just noticing. Like,

(01:31:40):
when I'd brush him, he wouldkick at my hand. He would I tied
to the the first time I tied himto a trailer, he looked in place
for 45 minutes. And I just lethim I was like, I've got a book,
I'll let you work this out. Andso that was my thing that I
worked with him is I tied him tothe trailer and I let him stand
until I stood still and then I'dgo turn him loose. And and so

(01:32:03):
uh, basically like I was gettingbodywork done on him. Because as
a massage therapist, I believein the power of it. And, and I
remember I walked him into thisbarn and I tied him to the fence
and I walked out. And I cameback in and he looked at me kind

(01:32:25):
of naked, and he goes, Oh,nervous system completely let
down just seeing me. And so bythe time I returned him, because
he was kind of permanently loanfor me as long to me as long as
I took care of him. And when Irecognized I was stepping away
from horses, and I returned him.

(01:32:48):
The last vision I have of himwas standing at the trailer with
his head level, and his hind legcocked in a complete state of
relaxation. And I'm like, thatis what I do.

Lynn (01:33:00):
Yeah, and you take, you take nervous systems, human and
horse, probably other animalstoo. And bring them back into
equilibrium.

Julie R (01:33:11):
Well, and even like circling back to needs, one of
the most powerful things Irecognized is, I am personally
responsible for the felt senseof safety, I feel inside and
create inside. That means Idon't put myself in situations,

(01:33:32):
especially like as I was goingthrough some really deeply
healing processes. I didn't putmyself in places where I had to
armor up to go in. I just didn'tgo now I can go there. And I'm
not affected. Because I've takenresponsibility for my need of
safety. Personally, and y'all Iwill speak to it will be like,

(01:33:56):
though, your tone of voice isway over the top. You know, do
we need to take a breath? Do weneed to step away? Do we need to
come back to have thisconversation? But I'm not
comfortable? And I'm not willingto be in a place where I have to
constantly be uncomfortable andprotecting myself. Yeah. And and
so but I have voice to it. Andand I think that's where the

(01:34:24):
words come in but but it's anenergetic felt sense of creating
a sovereignty creating anautonomy and agency and really
claiming my authenticity.

Lynn (01:34:38):
So, back to that original question I asked you about where
does the energy fit with yourwords in your touch? The energy
comes through your words andcomes through your touch. When
you say I

Julie R (01:34:53):
read a long time ago until we learn to emit our own
vibration, we We will justbecome a collection of the
energies around us. And soreally like as I was going
through like that deeplyspiritual process, I kept

(01:35:13):
asking, what's my energy? What'smy light, my vibration? And it
doesn't mean that my vibrationdoesn't fluctuate or change. But
I don't believe that there'sanything negative about energy.
Definitely

Lynn (01:35:31):
nothing negative, we may have a negative connotation.

Julie R (01:35:35):
Yeah, we interpret energy to be negative, but
really, those became signals.
Yeah,

Lynn (01:35:41):
everything is energy.
Let's get down to the physics ofit. Right? This is the beautiful
thing about it. And I love thatwe can actually talk about it
now. Because years ago, when Iwas teaching the leadership
program, where we started tointroduce the topic of energy,
we had to be really careful howwe talked about it, because
people would put their fingersup and go, Oh, that's Whoo,
you're going into weirdterritory, because it's, quote
unquote, insane. And it's like,yeah, just because it's insane.

(01:36:07):
Doesn't mean it's real, notreal. And

Julie R (01:36:10):
believe me, if you spend any time meditating, your
thoughts are just as unreliableas your emotions. That's why I
say not logic. In fact, DavidHawkins, I, I have only read
some of his work.

Lynn (01:36:25):
That's where the power versus force comes from. Yeah.

Julie R (01:36:28):
But he says in there.
We in I'm not going to quote it.
I'm going to summarize it there.
But it's something along thelines of, we're not meant we're
not logical. And we're notemotional. We are driven by
patterns. That is why I wouldalways work in places where they

(01:36:53):
didn't give us the resources weneeded, because I knew how to
deal with that. Right? When Iworked at the accounting firm,
where I had all that time off,and they poured into us, like,
do you want to do an education,they would pay for it? It was
weird to me. Like, I worked evenharder in ways for them, because

(01:37:14):
I was trying to make up for thedeficit of them giving so much
to me.

Lynn (01:37:21):
Interesting. But that's being driven by a pattern, like
you said, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Well, if you look at so much ofsuccess, you know, I was
teaching one of my nephews toplay a new card game. And he
picked it up really fast. And Isaid, How did you do that? And
he goes, Oh, it's just patternrecognition. And he said, what I
do when I'm out, because he's abig wildlife guys out in the

(01:37:43):
wilderness all the time. Becauseit's what I do with animals. He
says, You have to start figuringout their patterns.

Julie R (01:37:51):
Yeah. Yeah. You know, like, we, like, we didn't never
have to go get our horses fromthe pasture. Mm hmm. You know, a
lot of times, my dad would startcalling the horses from the
house. And as he would walk tothe barn, those horses would be
coming in. You bet. Because

Lynn (01:38:11):
I know the pattern. We just got. My dog has been for
the last week with my daughterwhile we were on the ski trip.
And she's got a different set ofpatterns. And this morning, I
was marveling, she's 17 monthsold, how well she knows the
patterns of our house. Not thepattern. She was at her house.
But as soon as she was here,like everything we did this

(01:38:31):
morning, just sort of it was soI was like, This is so lovely,
because we have a routine and isa pattern and she understands
it. If I tried to upset theapplecart which occasionally I
do just to keep her on her toes.
She has she has a little momentof white, what are we doing?

Julie R (01:38:46):
Yeah. But and you don't correct the behavior? No, you
know, like that. I think that's,you know, something, I'm really
looking at you like back back tothe what is my life look like?
Now, it's some coaching somemassage. And, and I'm looking

(01:39:08):
for opportunities to startteaching again, I don't know
that that will be yoga, it mightbe Yoga. But I really believe in
this embodiment of, of knowledgeof wisdom, and and I feel like
that's kind of something that'sopening up for me with just some

(01:39:31):
opportunities that are coming myway. So it really like my life
looks like I'm just going withthe flow. I'm seeing rising. I'm
seeing what works, and I'mcreating workability and it's
not an overreaction fromsomething that was missed in my
growth and development. It'sreally in ways in ways I think

(01:39:59):
it's Just as terrifying to stepinto complete into something
completely unknown and new, asit is to stay stuck in where
we're at. I mean, it, it'sexciting. And yet, I'm like,
wow, like, what doesauthenticity really looked like?
I thought I've been being prettyauthentic my whole life. I mean,

(01:40:23):
I see moments of where Imisinterpreted things as being
authentic. But the moreauthentic I get, the more space
I see. To be authentic. Youknow, I heard a long time ago,

(01:40:43):
the journey of a soul takes alifetime. And so what does it
look like to never arrive? Whatdoes it look like to never have
it nailed down? Everybody who'sworked with me is like, you
know, I don't know what you do,Julie. I don't either. I don't
either. Um, because I have thisreally unique financial

(01:41:08):
background, and like thisunderstanding of nature, and
humans and horses and energy andthe healing arts. So I, you
know, when I was I was justlooking for, like, I want to get
down to the, the code of life,like, I want to know, all the

(01:41:31):
building blocks of, ofunderstanding. And so when I
dive into something, I, I reallygo deep. I would rather read one
book three times. Then readseveral books.

Lynn (01:41:54):
Right. That's strike.
That's what I've been picking upin this conversation is you
dive, you dive down to thenugget. Yeah.

Julie R (01:42:03):
I, and in ways like, I mean, massage clients I've had,
I have a client that says, Icame to you for headaches, and
you unraveled the way I walk?
Like, because I'm always like,what's that? I've actually been
able to get people to recognizedifferent emotions in different
areas of their body, becauselike, this tension feels

(01:42:26):
different than to this tension.
What what do you what do youthink of when you have this
tension? You know, when I'mworking on this tension, and
what are you thinking? And it'samazing what? Oh, really, that's

Lynn (01:42:41):
a whole can of worms we could open because I don't know
if I told you this. But onmystic waters, we have a massage
therapy site. And so there's awoman on a Brit berkland. We
call her Anna. She goes, she sheis a phenomenal body worker, and
has developed many, many of herown techniques, and is now

(01:43:02):
training others. So that's very,very cool. But she and I've been
unraveling something in May forthe last six months that came up
from a session I did with ahorse and Bruce Anderson back in
June. And what we've recognizedis it's something I've been
carrying attention I've had mywhole life, maybe even maybe
even pre birth, like maybeancestral. Yeah. And, you know,

(01:43:25):
it's been several sessions thatwe finally started recognizing
what we were getting into. Andjust a sort of unraveling and
letting each layer go. But it'sbeen transformative for me.
Yeah, to recognize that we wereletting go of these emotions
that I've really carried incertain muscles. And most people

(01:43:47):
don't understand that. So whenyou were describing to me what
your life looks like now, andwhat your coaching is, I'm like,
there's probably no morepowerful intersection than
someone who can, you know, putthe ontological side with the
financial or the business side,like, very few people know those
two intersections. So I'mguessing that people that work

(01:44:09):
with you are truly embodying awisdom that would otherwise not
be possible. Yeah.

Julie R (01:44:18):
And they have to be ready for it. That's what I'm
finding. I have a friend remindme all the time, you are not for
beginners.

Lynn (01:44:29):
Me too. I've had because I have a similar intersection. If
I'm not a body worker, like youare, but I'm definitely working
with the energy and and thedeep, sort of the deep, the
deep, deep work, but I am notthe initiator, if somebody wants
initiation. I have a phenomenalnetwork of coaches and I have a
couple of people who are reallygood at initiating people into

(01:44:50):
the work, but it's not me. I'mfor people who've been a little
bit on the path and they'reready to accelerate. Yeah, and I
don't mean accelerate my gofaster. But if Really, that's
the wrong word. It's go deeper.
It's like, that's why it's mybusiness is creative spirits
unleashed? Because it literallymeans your how do we unleash
your inner creative spirit?

(01:45:11):
Yeah, the you that was born onthis planet.

Julie R (01:45:14):
Yeah. And in there there is this, oh, the person
who likes words doesn't helpwords

Lynn (01:45:23):
they're coming.

Julie R (01:45:28):
I think maybe that's for Life Is this where it leaves
us speechless. In that, ah, inthat wonder in that I don't have
it figured out and it excitesme, it pulls me forward, instead
of trying to fix something. Ihave all these little phrases

(01:45:50):
like when fixing mux it up. Andhard work doesn't work when
problem solving is your problem.
Because they're all strategiesthat get in the way of really
creating our life. And yet,we're taught that if you don't
like the way something is fixit, change it. And we never say,
if you don't like something, I'mnot encouraging anybody to do

(01:46:14):
arson, but start with a matchburn.

Lynn (01:46:20):
As was, as was the case with your social media profile,
which we've ended up reallyembracing? Yeah, that's really
what happened. It's likesomebody starting over from a
burn house. Yeah. And

Julie R (01:46:30):
I also think, I have learned to see, like, even
walking away from my accountingcareer was just a spiritual
correction, it was a lifecorrection, just like a market
correction. I was too far awayfrom my soul's purpose to do

(01:46:57):
that job. It doesn't mean thatjob won't contribute to my, my
soul's purpose. Because Ilearned things, you know,
because I was always looking athow things related, I was always
improving systems and processes.
In fact, I read a book on sixsigma, because I had this issue

(01:47:18):
and accounts payable, then, youknow, and I'm like, if we don't
pay late fees, and we don't payinterest, then we have to get
our shit together. We're notgoing to not have our shit
together, and then demand thatwe get these fees back or we're
not going to do business withthem. That's not how I operate.
It lacks integrity. So let's getit right over here. And one day,

(01:47:41):
well, probably one time in themiddle of the night, when I woke
up and I was still working.

Lynn (01:47:50):
happens to me all that used to happen to me all the
time. Yep. I was like,

Julie R (01:47:54):
This is it. And so I completely changed the system.
And within weeks, the chatterwent away in the end. And and
so, in ways, what I do is I helppeople really find that internal
disturbance and work with ituntil it gets quiet.

Lynn (01:48:16):
Oh, that's, that's what I call the interference. How do we
reduce the interference signalversus noise. So similar, are as
we started this conversation,which could go on for hours, but
I think we'll give our listenersa chance to do something else.
But I really feel that kinshipwith you that connection of how

(01:48:36):
similar our backgrounds havebeen. And, you know, to some
degree, I would hope that aconversation like this calls out
to the people who are stillstuck in that to say there's
peace on the other side of this.
If you're burned out. For thoseof you listening, you should go
find Julie, because she knowshow to get you back in your
body. Yeah.

Julie R (01:48:56):
And it doesn't mean uprooting your life like I did.
It could be but it doesn't haveto be.

Lynn (01:49:03):
I have have few of my clients at the beginning at
least uproot their lives.
Occasionally, sometimes peoplemove into a new thing, but most
of the time they're achievingthis in place. Yeah.

Julie R (01:49:15):
Yeah. Yeah. I've had clients come to me and say, Help
me quit my job. And no,

Lynn (01:49:23):
yeah, I don't either. I have the same thing. It's like
we're not gonna make you arefugee. Yeah, we're gonna help
you be a pilgrim.

Julie R (01:49:31):
Now, if you empower Lee step out. We will create if
that's really what you want todo, I will help you step out in
an empowered way. So you don'tburn out and crash like I did.
But it's not really. If we justmove from one pond to the next

(01:49:53):
without doing any inner work. Wejust drag all of that with us.
Correct. So if you want a newbeat meaning it requires doing
some internal work. It requiresknowing and understanding
yourself in a different way

Lynn (01:50:09):
to I last year, at the podcast Summit, Michelle and I
witnessed in a Shawn cookhelping someone do that going
from one town to another, andone barn to another, was one of
the most powerful things I'veever seen, because he sensed
that she was running away andgoing to take all the crap with
her. And in the course of lessthan 30 minutes with some very

(01:50:32):
pointed questions, and Nishanunwillingness to accept any of
her bullshit. And we all hadbullshit, but just helped her
see it for herself, really. Hehelped her find that empowered
way to move on. And what wasbeautiful. I saw her at this
year's podcast Summit, and said,So how are you? And how did it

(01:50:54):
go after that conversation withhim? And she said, it's so
great. And he helped me leave inan empowered way. Yeah. And
that's the, that's what you'redescribing. So that's beautiful.
So Julie, how do people if theywant to, I'm sure people are
going to hear this and want towork with you? How do they find

(01:51:15):
you? How do they learn moreabout it? How do they make
contact with you?

Julie R (01:51:19):
Well, my website is Julie ripley.com. And

Lynn (01:51:23):
how great that you have your name as your website,
that's not that easy to do.

Julie R (01:51:28):
No. I heard that a long time ago, and I

Lynn (01:51:32):
nabbed it. I did too, I got mine in 2001.

Julie R (01:51:36):
I, I can't remember when I got mine. Um, and then
probably the best place to startis I have a self connection
assessment. And so they wouldjust take the assessment and see
where they're at.

Lynn (01:51:53):
Okay. And then you could see where they're at as well.

Julie R (01:51:56):
Yes, yeah. And then it's just a starting point. And
then, then the next step wouldbe to do a discovery call, I am
still a really hands on coach.
Me too. I find that I've beentrying to draft a direct digital
course. And I really think thatthe energy is different. Yeah, I

(01:52:18):
think we need each other. And Ithink we need live coaching.

Lynn (01:52:26):
I, here's what I where I am on the content creation side
of this world is, if I'mrepeating myself, I put it in a
format that people can go read,so that we can then talk about
it. But I don't ever want to becompletely hands off. I like
having people engaged. And I'veexperimented with at the podcast

(01:52:48):
summit, I did a full coursewhich all my clients are
getting, and some people whoaren't my clients went through.
But that is really for them tounderstand sort of where I'm
coming from, so they can chooseto work with me or not. But if
you want to really learn what'sin there, you're not going to
learn it from my course. Yeah,you're not you're gonna learn
it, because you have to, youhave to actually have some help.

(01:53:10):
Yeah, it takes

Julie R (01:53:11):
people recognizing, like Nishan, that you're running
away instead of stepping away,away and powerfully. Yeah, you
haven't clarified where you wantto go. So don't leave yet.

Lynn (01:53:24):
And you can't do that for yourself. I've often said, when
I'm coaching someone like that,it's like you're trying to stand
in the bucket and lift yourselfup at the same time, you have to
have somebody help you step outof the bucket. And that's going
to be what creates the movement,there are just certain coaching
changes you cannot make on yourown. Yes, and I heard loud and

(01:53:44):
clear that you've worked withothers, other healers and other
people that helped you as I've Iand so anybody by the way,
seeking a coach, my my firstthing to say is if you are
looking for a coach, make surethat they have had or have a
coach, because they don'tthey're gonna work their stuff
out on you if they don't, yeah,

Julie R (01:54:02):
well, and I there's been times like, I share this
with my coaching clients too. Iwant you to work with me and
have an integration period andthen come back and work with me.
You know, so it sort of dependson the rhythm you're finding
with your coach. You know, Ihave clients that we really work

(01:54:23):
through something and, and theyneed time to work it out. And in
fact, I I really like havingcoaching sessions a week to two
weeks apart. I don't like to doonce a month. I think too much
time passes. Yeah, because butif I am starting to like every
two weeks,

Lynn (01:54:43):
that's about my rhythm.
Yeah, has it. You

Julie R (01:54:46):
have enough life between sessions, where you're
starting to see where it's notworking, and everybody has a
different rhythm like and thentheir schedules to contend with.
So I think that there's periodswhere I, for me, there's been
periods for I've worked withcoaches, and sometimes two

(01:55:06):
coaches at a time, and thenhaven't worked with anyone. And
then I might find a body workerthat I work with for a while,
and then I might not work withanyone, and then it might be,
you know, going to a healer thanit might be coming back to a
coach or, you know, I like tocall them mentors, because I've

(01:55:29):
worked with a lot of people inyou know, like, I've done a
leadership track where it'sreally corporate America. At
this time, I'm doing like anintegrative body, like 12 month,
rearrange my body and my beingat the same time. So and then I

(01:55:51):
won't do anything for like ayear and just kind of left that.
Yeah. So I think everybody hasthe right to find their own
recipe, their own rhythm. Yeah.
But it is we need each other.

Lynn (01:56:05):
Oh, that's the whole point of the connection, isn't it? And
we can't be connected, as yousay, to others, unless we're
connected to ourselves. Yeah. Sothis has been phenomenal. I
could go on all afternoon. But

Julie R (01:56:19):
I love it. Like, I just feel like my heart is wide open
with you.

Lynn (01:56:23):
I will mine too. And of course, we are going to be in
touch. But for those of youlistening, I hope you've enjoyed
this conversation. And if youdid, please share it with your
friends, your colleagues, othersthat you think might find it.
Interesting. As Julie said,check out herself connection
assessment. And if you'reinterested in knowing more about
what I do, or staying in touch,seeing some of those things I'm
putting out regularly myselfmainly for my clients. But it

(01:56:44):
all goes in through the coachingdigest, you can sign up for that
at Learn current stock calm. Andwith that, we will see you at
the next podcast. Thank you forlistening to the creative
spirits unleashed podcast. Istarted this podcast because I
was having these greatconversations and I wanted to
share them with others. I'malways learning in these

(01:57:05):
conversations, and I wanted toshare that kind of learning with
you. Now what I need to hearfrom you is what you want more
of and what you want less of. Ireally want these podcasts to be
a value for the listeners. Also,if you happen to know someone
who you think might love them,please share the podcast and of
course subscribe and rate it onthe different apps that you're

(01:57:25):
using, because that's how otherswill find it. Now, I hope you go
and do something very fun today.

All Episodes

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#69 Julie Ripley: Self-Connection, Boundaries, and Getting Unstuck

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

.css-r6mb8g{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:1;overflow:hidden;}On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Stuff You Should Know

Dateline NBC

All Episodes

#69 Julie Ripley: Self-Connection, Boundaries, and Getting Unstuck

On Purpose with Jay Shetty