Ep.49 - Burned Out and Still in Charge: The Dark Side of Leading Under Pressure

Summary

In this episode, the Lewis Brothers discuss the challenges of leadership under stress and burnout. They explore the hidden costs of unchecked stress, the importance of delegation, and how to create a supportive culture that fosters emotional resilience. The conversation emphasizes the need for leaders to manage their stress effectively, reset under pressure, and normalize conversations around stress within their teams. They also highlight the significance of vulnerability in leadership and the tools available to build a stress-resilient culture.


Takeaways

Burnout is a common challenge for leaders.
Recognizing stress is the first step to managing it.
Delegation can alleviate personal stress and empower teams.
Creating a supportive culture is essential for team performance.
Stress affects decision-making and communication within teams.
Vulnerability in leadership fosters trust and openness.
Regular check-ins can help identify stressors early.
Physical activity can serve as a reset for stress.
Modeling self-care encourages team members to prioritize their well-being.
Normalizing conversations about stress can improve team dynamics.


Titles

Burnout and Leadership: Finding Balance
The Hidden Costs of Stress in Business


Sound bites

"You can't leave, your team needs you."
"Your stress becomes your team's burden."
"You need to not undermine them."


Chapters

00:00 Navigating Burnout in Leadership
02:59 The Hidden Costs of Stress
05:58 Managing Stress and Decision Making
08:56 The Importance of Delegation
12:00 Creating a Supportive Culture
14:52 The Ripple Effect of Stress on Teams
18:05 Resetting Under Pressure
21:08 Building Emotional Resilience
23:58 Tools for Stress Management
26:55 Vulnerability in Leadership
30:03 Normalizing Conversations Around Stress

Feel the dynamic energy of the Lewis Brothers as they deliver real stories and lessons that keep local businesses on their toes, and share how experiences in the community inspire them to keep on driving.

Check out all our great episodes at CrossroadConversationsPodcast.com!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
I found myself, even though I am very relaxed, laid
back, I was starting to getaggravated.
Early on I was like, oh, holdon, just a second, I got to be
able to pull over here, let mego check on this real quick.
And I was like no reset, holdon, I'm going to grab.
So in the middle of it, youhave to realize, even though we
do all this all the time and wetalk about it, it's okay.

(00:22):
Whenever you hit the revlimiter and you have to back up,
it's just important torecognize that and step back and
be able to move forward.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Hey everyone, welcome to Crossroad Conversations with
the Lewis Brothers, where weaim to share real stories about
running a successful familybusiness while working through
adversity and pouring back intoour community that keeps our
doors open every single day.
We're your hosts, shelby, mattand Taylor, and we'll be
bringing you real, relevant,local business advice, maybe

(00:53):
some automotive insights thatare sure to change the way you
look at running a business orbuying a car, and maybe even
throw in a plug for you to dobusiness with us here locally.
Welcome back CrossroadConversation, episode 49.
We're your hosts, the LewisBrothers, matt, shelby and
Taylor, bringing you the latestand greatest, most relevant.

(01:14):
Maybe this is your first time.
Maybe you've listened to all 49.
Maybe you've listened to acouple, but we're glad you
joined us today.
So today we're talking aboutburned out and still in charge,
like, think about that burnedout but still lighting the fire
to figure it out like I want togo home but I can't something

(01:35):
like that.
So the dark side of leadingunder pressure, what it does to
you, what it does to the wholeteam, what the culture does, all
those things of burnout andstill in charge.
So we'll fully unpack thattoday.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Did you just hit me with the word dark side, like we
got to unpack that, yeah, hey,this is going to get deep.
I hope you've grabbed yourcoffee.
This is going to be a goodepisode, but before we dive into
this week's episode, hey, don'tforget about last week, episode
48.
This was a good one it reallywas because a lot of people are
caught in between either whatthe subject says here stop being

(02:14):
so nice, how weak leadershipdoesn't work or you're on the
other end where you don't careat all.
So we spent a good amount oftime last week unpacking that.
How you could be professional.
You can still care about peoplebut hold them accountable, but

(02:35):
not just let them run you over.
So that was a great episode.
Go back and listen to that andmany others.
And if you just startedlistening to us, we've got a
library full of just tips andtricks that we have learned
throughout our 79 years worth ofbusiness here on handling,
employees and advertising andcash flow and inventory, so on
and so forth.
You can find all those atCrossroadConversationPodcastcom.
And don't forget to check outour inventory over a thousand

(02:56):
vehicles in stock and ready tosell at LewisSuperstorecom.

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Absolutely hey.
And diving in.
What did we drive?
It's starting to get to thebest time of year.
That dot com?
Absolutely hey.
And diving in.
What did we drive?
It's starting to get to thebest time of year.
That the weather's starting toget closer to the fall.
We're getting closer out of the100 degree days.
I gotta talk about our iconicmustang pony car that we've had
around for years.
I recently gotten one the otherday and I think it gets swept
under the rug that we have thebest selection we've ever had

(03:22):
now that they start at at under$40,000 for 300 horsepower and
they go all the way up to theDark Horse.
It's over 500 horsepower andhas all the track apps.
I'm talking about a vehiclethat comes from the factory that
you can actually hit the linelock button, burn the rear tires
and then hit a drag app to beable to do your 0 to 60.
It is full-fledged, fullspectrum.

(03:45):
That'll get you the best gasmileage but the most fun car to
take down.
You know we live in an areawhere there's this road called
the pig trail.
That's so fun.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
It's the last remaining iconic sports car it
is and I think you forget.

Speaker 3 (03:59):
Tell you, bring that up.
And I know we get busy in thebusiness of forgetting, like how
much ford's been on the gaswith the evolution of the
mustang and just thinking about,like, when we were growing up
like the most powerful ofpowerful mustang then, you know,
had 220 horsepower.
Yeah, it would run 060 if youwere luckily on a good cool day

(04:19):
sub seven seconds.
And now we're talking about 500horsepower, 3.7, I believe.
It is zero to 60 in that darkhorse, and all under factory
warranty, with an amazing soundsystem.
Well, you know what I mean.
And all the cool tech.
Yeah, just how they'veintegrated that all in.
And how do you do all that andthen still get better fuel
mileage?
You know, I don't know it'smagic, I know that's pretty cool

(04:41):
that's a good one to bring up.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
So that's a good Fun with the best selection we've
ever had.
Come check them out there, hey.
But diving straight into thehidden cost of unchecked stress
in leadership.
So this is un-.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
What do you mean unchecked.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
What are you doing to me?
I would probably say the stressthat you push to the side and
act like it's not reallyaffecting the way.
You push to the side and actlike it's not really affecting
the way.
So how chronic stress affectsdecision-making, communication
and culture.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Oh man, when do we start here?

Speaker 2 (05:13):
Okay, so the stress pile's on.
It does, it does.

Speaker 3 (05:16):
And I don't care what business you're in.
Yeah, yeah, Like you're goingto have stress Some of it's
natural.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Like not hitting the metrics or someone not showing
up or all those things.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
Or you don't have enough cash in the bank to do
payroll or to pay your bills orthis or that, like there's all
these different areas thatstress can come from, and that's
a good place to start.
Shelby is like just unpackingwhere all this would come from.
Like everybody thinks it'sthese big monumental things, but
no, it's kind of the thousandcuts of every single day of
stress of somebody not showingup.

(05:47):
So that are you going to coverthat In our business?
A vehicle not showing up orparts not showing up, like all
these different pieces?
Bad Google review.
Bad Google review.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Bad manufacturer survey, and some of them didn't
even have anything to do withyou, or charge back a bunch of
your incentives from last month.

Speaker 3 (06:04):
All these different pieces of a misbuild, and so on,
and so forth your brand newbuilding's leaking.
So there's no way Let me justfirst spoil our word there's no
way to avoid stress in business.
There's just no way.
So if you think the LewisBrothers got it together, it

(06:28):
together, we never get stressed,you are wrong.
So it's more of how tocompartmentalize the stress,
what stress to deal with, whatstress to not deal with, because
some of it really like, onceyou run it through the filter,
it's really not that big of adeal and it it's like it's just
going to go away.
Yeah, but then all of it won'tgo away.
Some of it you do need toaddress and some of it which is

(06:53):
what Taylor was getting to andShelby said that the title is
here some of it builds up sohigh that you've got to remove
yourself for a minute to be ableto just let the top pop off of
it before you can effectivelymanage and lead people.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (07:12):
Because, if not, you are underwater, you're
underperforming and you'remaking the situation worse.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
And that's generally what happens.
If you do not address it,delegate it, let it wear off.
At least acknowledge it's here,it's affecting me.
You will make decisions thatare not based on facts, or
decisions based on your culture,your kindness, all the things
that you do good at will betotally affected.

(07:41):
If you don't now, you can'tjust like drama, unload
constantly all those things, butthere's a time when you just
got to figure out okay, how do Idefuse this right?

Speaker 3 (07:52):
I think something that's coming to me right here
that I need to talk about.
There's kind of a coupledifferent mindsets with stress
or showing that to people, andsome people, just when they get
to that moment, they just blowtheir lid at everybody, just fly
off the handle.
You know what I mean Ateverybody, just fly off the
handle.
But you may be more like me andI fortunately don't fly off the

(08:15):
handle very often.
But there's probably a wholelot of nonverbal cues that
people can read that I'm at mymax.
So I may be thinking mentallyin my mind I'm handling this
stress fine.
I haven't bit anybody's headoff today.
I'm still being nice to people,but they can see it, which then
slows them down to come ask mea question or to be around me,

(08:39):
and I'm not able to give thatpositive energy and that
elevation of the expectationsand of the business up and so
there's there's those two thingsthere.
We guys, we've seen both.
You know now we don't.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
we, we have a culture that doesn't really allow too
many people just completelylosing it on people no, I mean,
that's like one of the numberone things we teach, like don't
go dog cuss somebody, you know.
Don't go holler and scream.
Or you know, number one realtreat others the way you want to
be treated, even in the worstof the worst.

(09:11):
Sure, uh, and and I think theysee that by not what we say, but
how we lead, you know.
So that's a big thing there,but I guess you probably
something we don't do great atis saying, okay, don't do these
things, this is not part of ourthing, but here's how you do do
that Right.

Speaker 3 (09:30):
I think so.
How do you handle it?
And I think one of the thingsthat has taken me a long time
you know, over 20 years in thebusiness now to learn is I will
get in my head about, even in ahighly stressful situation, that
I have to be in the middle ofit because the team depends upon
me.
And, yeah, I know I need tostep back or I need to go for a

(09:53):
run, or I need to do this orthat to be able to reset and
process all this, but I've gotthis pressure going.
No, you can't leave, you can'tgo.
Do that.
Your team needs you, but whatthe team really needs is a
better version of you.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Yeah, and something that I see in this a lot of
times with stress comes from,because you feel like stress,
high level, it's landed in ourlaps.
But what we've learned isthere's probably you can and I'm
not going to say, hey, put itoff or like, deviate from this,
but you can delegate your stress.
And it was delegating the taskbefore it came stress.

(10:28):
Now it's stress, and so you'vegot to circle back and say, hey,
I need your help with thesethings, because otherwise you're
the only one with your hair onfire and everyone else is just
like hey, got a new guy here,want to introduce you to him,
and you're just like what, yeah,them.
And you're just like what, yeah, it's like oh gosh, I probably
shouldn't.
I let.
I let the water boil to get toohot and now all the water's

(10:48):
evaporating yeah, it's justyou're striking every time
you're talked yeah, and sothat's improper delegation you
know, and they really here's thetruth.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
We just got to talk the truth on this podcast that
they really they care about you,but they, they really don't
care about the amount of stressyou're going through.
Oh, no way you know.

Speaker 2 (11:09):
So, like let's just let's unpack this one looking
for brownie points, greatestemployees looking for brownie
points.
They'll they'll say, hey, howyou doing, hey, I mean this
isn't, this isn't too much, isit it?
And she's like what are youtalking about?
What is this, oprah?

Speaker 3 (11:28):
No, I don't want to talk to you right now.
I'm not talking about myfeelings.
I'm not talking to you aboutthis.
I got it.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
No, I'll tell you, though, but the only time this
kind of rolls into because ifyou have a team that you lead
and they're aggressive and we'rein sales, so everybody works
together and they're aggressiveand we're in sales, so everybody
works together the only timeyou'll get any type of emotion
reaction, anything else, iswhenever they feel like they're
letting you down in what they'vemissed.

(11:55):
So kind of rolling into yourstress becomes their team's
burden.
But that's because they'vemissed something.
They miss catching the fastball, and it whacked you straight in
the chest.
They're like, oh gosh, I betterbefore you start exploding.
So that probably is the onlytime that your team really will
slow down a little bit and maybeaddress you, but you're right,

(12:17):
any other time they have no clue.

Speaker 3 (12:19):
So let me throw this at you guys, because let's
unpack this a little bit.
You know we've talked a littlebit about stress and kind of.
You know what we deal with inour culture, but let's talk
about the the stress and how itaffects your decision making
communication in the culture,and there's there's.
First, I want to talk about thepiece of stress that could be

(12:42):
avoidable if we would have justdone a better job managing in
expectations.
Taylor, I know you and I havehad this conversation multiple
times and it's usually way afterwe've closed and then we're
just sitting there talking andit's like where is everybody
else?
And you're up to your neck anddoing stuff and you know what

(13:06):
the deal is.
Oh yeah, and it's that hey, ifproper planning and proper
expectations comes into place.
Like you're frustrated at firstand then you're like, well,
maybe I didn't do what I wassupposed to do to avoid this in
the future.
Walk them through that.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, you want it done correctly.
You have your day planned outbecause you've written it out,
you know.
And the craziest thing, yeah,and I'm trying to transition and
move from there, because thetime I am, my life now with
family and everything else, usedto be I wouldn't care if it was
eight to ten o'clock because Iknew that's when everyone would
leave.
Sure, I could get everythingdone.

(13:41):
And so what happens is then Iallow the whole day to happen.
I allow everyone to leavebecause I know I'm going to mess
with it.
Well, really, I'm continuing toburden myself with it instead
of helping the rest of the teamgrow and give them proper, clear
expectations of.
This is how you handle thesituation, this is how you move

(14:03):
forward.
So it's not progressing myselfand it's not progressing my team
.
So that's when you have toreally look back in the mirror
and see hey, this is allinflicted by myself.

Speaker 3 (14:15):
So I think that's part, and, shelby, you and I
have had the same conversations.
Hey guys, at the end of the day, we really can only vent to
each other.
You know what I mean.
Our employees aren day.
We really can only vent to eachother.
Yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
Like our employees aren't gonna let us vent to them
about other business problemsor cash flow problems which is
still pretty rare in its own,like it's, maybe I know if it's,
if it's once every two weeks,you know we've done pretty good.
I'd say that's amazing.
Yeah, maybe it's once a month,then I'll put a reoccurring

(14:45):
calendar in by can.
I have a stress lunch talk.
I think I've got an extra 15minutes.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
I've got some good place.

Speaker 2 (14:51):
I'm going to take y'all to lunch and I think it's
one of not trying to be in anegative mindset, because we
work really hard to not be there.
It feels good.
Sometimes you're just like, butthen it's productive, but it's
counterintuitive productive,like let's not just be like,
well, sally's doing this andlarry you know, and like, hey, I

(15:13):
went over this in the meetingyesterday.
I went over something veryspecific in the meeting that I
saw saturday as a salespersonnot offering the experience that
we uphold.
And then after the meeting Iwas like, hey, manager, follow
up with this person, becausethey're probably going to need
it more one-on-one, becausethey're going to think I wasn't
speaking to them and they, andthen they completely did the

(15:35):
exact same thing again and it'slike, hey, did you not realize
that's what we were talkingabout?
He's like, oh no, I don't dothat.
It's like, oh my gosh, it'stough.
But yeah, if, if I'm notdumping that on my family, on my
wife, I'm not overly dumping iton the managers or the, the,
the workers, uh, or the team.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
So sure, every rare once in a while I will sit down
and but it's yeah, I don't know,but you know to say like when
you're saying that's remindingme.
And I'm not the best at thisbecause naturally, especially
depending upon you know whattype of leader, what type of
personality you have out there.
We're wired to besolution-based fix-it people

(16:17):
Like our mind's already goingthere when something's broke or
there's an issue.
Something's broke or there's anissue.
So I have to remind myself andI'm still not great at this is
when one of y'all are justtrying to unload because you've
got nobody else to unload on.
Just shut up and listen.
And I'm telling myself thisright now Just shut up and

(16:40):
listen and just be an ear andlet them vent.
You don't have to fix themright that minute that's, that's
so good.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
I you know, I I get that with my family.
It was like hey, can I, can Ijust like talk it was like, yeah
, oh, really bad, you know,because you hear it, yeah, and
you're like, well, that couldhave been prevented this way and
that could be for that way, andthis will fix that, and just
like, and you at least let themfinish talking.
Then you're like, hey, did youlook at this?

(17:07):
And like, look, this alreadyhappened.
Okay, can you just let me benormal for a second, like, just
let me tell you what's what'sgone on here.
It's like, well, you know whatthe fix was like.
Yeah, but six months ago thatwasn't so clearly the fix.
But yeah, I mean, you have tounpack that, you've got to

(17:31):
stress and figure it out,because otherwise you are going
to not be good atdecision-making.
You're not going to be clearYou're not going to have the
main thing, the main thing.

Speaker 1 (17:40):
I'll tell you where that comes from.
We talked about this last week,but then we had a meeting we
talked at the end of last week.
I got hammered with a lot ofcustomers the previous week and
it just comes in waves.
That's how it comes.
But the last customer that wasprobably the most and I don't
know why it works out this way.
That was the most difficult Ifound myself.

(18:01):
Even though I'm very relaxed,laid back, I was starting to get
aggravated.
Early on I was like, oh, holdon, just a second.
I've got to be able to pullover here.
Let me go check on this realquick.
I was like no reset hold ongrab.
So in the middle of it you haveto realize, even though we do
this all the time and we talkabout it, it's okay.

(18:26):
Whenever you hit the revlimiter and you have to back up,
it's just important torecognize that and step back and
be able to move forward.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
So I think you know, as we talk about this, and I
think we've done a good jobidentifying I don't care what
industry you're in, everybodyhas stress, Now some of it.
We can do a better job managingwhen we have this same stress
that's repeating itself, yes, Iswho can we delegate that to?
How can can do a better jobmanaging when we have the same
stress that's repeating itself.
Yes, Is who can we delegatethat to?
How can I do a better jobcalendaring, you know, schedules

(18:51):
, or planning or changing aprocess to reduce?
We'll never completelyeliminate stress, but some of it
, yeah, can get off the plate.
But the second thing we've gotto talk about here because we're
talking about the ripple effectand we're talking about how it
affects our team and our cultureis, when we are under stress,
how do we reset before wereengage with the rest of our

(19:15):
team?
And I think the first thing wetalked about there is you've got
to have somebody that you candoesn't have to be every day,
and it's not drama, mamacarrying it up, you know, but
every once in a while that youcan.
That'd be every day.
And it's not drama, mamacarrying it up, you know, but
every once in a while that youcan dump that that person.
Let's give a couple tips here.
Okay, we think this is normal,but that person cannot be one of

(19:36):
your employees.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
Ew.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
You know what I mean.
They cannot be.
You know, even if it's this orit's that, it cannot be.
If you're a manager, one of theother team leads underneath you
, or so on and so forth.
Now, if you've got a higher upboss, that then is a mentor of
yours, yeah, it could be.
Make sure you go into ittelling them hey, I just need to
be able to vent this, so then Ican move on.

(19:59):
That's the best way with men,so we know what to do.
If you don't tell us what to doand how to react, we're going
to react the wrong way, probably.
So you've got to be able to dothat.
Or, if you don't have somebodyto talk to, you've got to have
some type of outlet.
I don't care how busy you areand I promise you guys, we have
been buried in the deep end busy, and I've forced myself before

(20:22):
to go do something if it's justan hour or 45 minutes or 30
minutes, and when I come back Iam tenfold more productive.
It's better to be around.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
That's a really good point, because you say, hey,
find somebody to talk to, andI'm thinking, oh, I don't really
have that person.
I mean, yeah, I could talk toyou two, but it's just like hey
you two look busy too.
You guys look stressed out.
You're not gonna be any help,what?
So I don't even want to talk toyou, right?
now it's, it's your fault, it'smy fault, but it's your fault.

(20:54):
So, uh, you know, exercise hasbeen my outlet for a long time
and it's funny because what ifyou, if you exercise hopefully
you've exercised at some levelIf not, start walking, just walk
.
And if you're just walking,then turn the incline up on the
treadmill or go to a hill,because one of the funny things

(21:16):
about when you start exercisingrunning is that your heart
repurposes where your blood isgoing, to the areas that need it
the most, maybe your legs ormaybe your lungs, which then it
and I am not a doctor, so don'ttake this and write a whole

(21:38):
script on this but it takes awayyour ability to process your
thinking quite as much.
And I'll give you an examplethat sometimes, when I'm running
, you know I'll be a lot oftimes like hey, I'm thankful for
this, I'm thankful for that.
It's like, oh, I hate this,this is hot, I'm thankful for
this.
But I'll pass a street and itmight be like Larry Street and

(22:02):
it might be like Larry Streetand then, like three minutes
later in my mind, that is notgetting as much oxygen because
my lungs are burning or my legsare burning.
I'm trying to remember how tospell Larry.
I'm like Larry, was that withtwo R's?
Or, in today's world, was thatan I with a hyphenated A or what

(22:23):
I'm just like.
So then I'm running for a longtime.
I'm like Larry, l-a-r-r-y wasthat?
Was it two R's?
And a couple miles later I'mlike, okay, you're silly, like
what are you doing?
And so then if you whipyourself hard enough or you go
long enough, the problems, thestress that you had, are not

(22:44):
that big of a deal that you'veworked through it you work
through it like do they stillneed to be handled?
yes, but it's not like at theboiling point.
What you've done is thrown someice in there and cooled her
down I, I think that's that's sotrue and I can't tell you.

Speaker 3 (22:59):
I mean, I mean it's serious breaking points I've
been at and I've gone and ranand like mad running, oh yeah,
yeah.
Now I don't mean like I wasburning up at the best time-
Okay, but just based on yournormal.
Yeah, like just mad running andlike yelling at the trees yeah,
you know what I mean.

(23:19):
Like you just turnednickelbacks on and just ran hard
Pissed I mean mean pissed, youknow and um, and then 30 minutes
goes by and at least takes 30minutes.
Okay, like everybody's got toknow.
It doesn't happen in fiveminutes.
Okay, because, because your,the rest of your body does have
to settle down, you got to getblood oxygen all your muscles
blah, blah, blah, like shelbyexplained it as doctorate.

(23:41):
But then the mind startsworking and it starts
prioritizing blood.
And then all of a sudden you've, like emotionally, worked
through all that junk and youstart clearly thinking about
what's the next step you shouldtake, or about how.
It's not that big of a deal.
Hey, here's what the Googledoctor says.
Let's see, he said you know, inany type of cardiovascular

(24:04):
exercise so running, biking,rowing, elevating, swimming you
got to elevate, we got to getour heart rate up.
Let's go Okay, let's go Okay.
So it increases blood flow tothe brain, which boosts brain
function and promotesneurogenesis.
You're gone, I know the growthof new.

(24:26):
I had to get to this part.
The growth of new brain cells.
Okay, this process can improvecognitive abilities such as
attention, memory andproblem-solving, allowing for
clearer thinking and a morefocused mind.
Problem-solving with a clearmind and, I think, more than
anything, like what it does.

(24:46):
And you know what our audienceis going on now.
All right, here they are,they're on their exercise and
kick again.
I think you do something thatstresses your body to a point
that it has to divert its energyand, thinking off the minuscule
stress that was going on, itallows you to do a clean reset,

(25:07):
yanking the power cord out ofthe wall, counting 10 seconds
and plugging it back in, but youmust do something that elevates
your heart rate and stressesyour body.
Snap you out of that.
Yeah, now go ahead.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
No and it might, just it might be a, it's an
attention diversion.
Yeah, so some people's outletare golf.
Now am I saying during themiddle of the day that we go
play golf?
It's been 15 or 20 years?
um, no, he's gonna it's funny Iwas, I was talking to dad and
he's been on he's.
He's traveling the us fishingright now.

(25:42):
He's fired up.
He hadn't fished since we werelittle kids and so, as we're
trying to get him to retire,they went to montana, to utah,
to colorado, and he's like,golly, some of these streams are
in the middle of mountains.
Like, yeah, did you have any?
Did you have any cell phoneservice?
He's like I don't know, Ididn't have my phone.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
He had his phone with him.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
I was like that's what's so amazing about that?
And I said I think that's why,if you're not a golfer, that
people will go do this fishing,because you were just out in
nature not to fall in the water,you know.
So, uh, maybe you're not saying, look, I ain't elevating my

(26:22):
heart rate.
That's dumb, you know.
Then there there's some othertype of outlet that says so
somehow you're gonna have to.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
Now you can emotionally go unpack it with
somebody.
Uh, that's gonna take a littlebit more um, and I have no
degree in that area, uh, butyou're gonna.
I guess the point is you'regonna have to do something.
And I just here's myencouragement to somebody
listening that is just theirhair is on fire and they're
running their wheels off.
And you woke up at three thismorning or four this morning.

(26:52):
You won't finish till midnighttonight because you don't have
anybody to do all the servicecalls for you.
I'm telling you and I'm justtelling you from experience,
because I've been there if youwill, at some point in time,
break during the day and refillyourself, you will have a much
productive outcome.
Your team will be happier,you'll think clear, so on and so

(27:15):
forth.
And you just got to remember Idon't even know if the video is
on here, but if this were apitcher full of everything you
have to give to your team andyou start pouring it out and
your team's using this, andwhether it be knowledge or
energy or leadership, whateverit may be, once this thing is
poured out, if you don't go fillit back up, it just stays empty

(27:39):
and you're just grinding alongwith no value to add.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
Yeah.
No, that's good, that's reallygood, that's definitely a good
point.
So breaking down the hiddencosts of unchecked stress and
leadership and all the thingsthat we've seen, and what to do
and what not to do, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
All right.
Next up, we've got ourautomotive myth buster, which
has been fun the past coupleweeks.
We've done it's back in here.
I should wait for the end ofthe month to get the best deal.

Speaker 2 (28:15):
So we're saying people say I should wait to the
end of the month to get my verybest deal.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
Yeah, they've heard.
They've read the book how toBuy a Car, or somebody's told
them.

Speaker 1 (28:30):
No, that's not true.

Speaker 3 (28:32):
I was going to slowly go into that, but here's the
deal.
You've got to think during themonth.
People are very aggressive atthe start because they're trying
to get their month going.
Or the second week of the montha salesperson may be behind
their goal, or a manager, sothey're very aggressive to get
it done.

(28:52):
If you wait until the last houror the last day, you've waited
too long.
You're actually probably goingto pay more because they've
probably accomplished their goaland their war out.
And then the selection.
The selection is always thatblue F-150 you wanted.
All they have left now is white.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
I always laugh about that End of last month we had
some people and they didn't saywe had some people and they
didn't say hey, I waited.
But I could tell they waitedand some of the offers, like we
had very, very, very lucrative,good value offers and they were
offering $10,000 and $15,000less.
I was like those are just thosepeople hunting for those deals,
looking for somebody thatreally needs a deal.

(29:30):
I said that's not our deal andI'm not saying that's not our
customer.
Let's go ahead and offer them agreat deal, but if it doesn't
make sense for them, it doesn'tmake sense.
So they're not going to get themost highest level of service
and that's not by design.
We don't say, hey, be mean tothose people but that, you know,
like kind of ends up that wayand they're just like sitting
there waiting for and like hey,you need one more car deal.

(29:53):
It's like you want to tell themlike no, not really, we'll be
open tomorrow, come on by andwe'll see what the incentives
are and see how we can help youout.
And the pendulum has kind ofswung there a little bit.
The quality of life comes in aswell.
You encourage your team to helpeverybody at the highest level,
but some believe it shuts downand we'll do it again tomorrow

(30:17):
If we missed half a deal.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
We missed half a deal .
We don't want to miss 10 deals.

Speaker 2 (30:21):
I think a lot of our micromanaging, micromeetings of
the daily travel rate per thedepartment, per the person, help
us realize that you don't haveto chase to that very end Now.
Do we sell more in the end thanwe do in the beginning?
Absolutely, that's always howit happens.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
Sure, people put things off, but as much as we
can control now, I think an easyway for people to relate on
this let's go outside automotivebusiness so they don't think
we're just trying to give them asales pitch here is we have
loss leaders that we put outthere in our advertisement that
we do sell.
Yeah, okay, that attractsattention, so we can be highly
aggressive.
It's no different than BlackFriday.

(30:57):
So let's look at Black Fridaylike the day of Black Friday is
an entire month.
So let's say as soon as thedoors open it's the first of the
month, and at the end of theday on Black Friday it's the end
of the month.
Let's compact it in one day.
The best deals the door bustersdo they go at the first of the
day or at the very end of theday?

Speaker 2 (31:18):
The very first, very first, very first.

Speaker 3 (31:21):
So if you're thinking about that as a consumer, just
think about that for a second.
You're not going to say, hey,we're going to go Black Friday
shopping, but I'm going to waituntil the very end of the day on
Black Friday to see if theywant to accomplish their goals.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
That's funny because you're not going to go up to the
team and say hey, your shelflooks pretty picked through,
there's a bunch of empty boxes.
But I see you've got a 37-inchTV that's not on sale.
What would you do?
Would you take $250 less for it?
But that's what consumers aredoing to us.
Oh, 1,000%.
It's like you missed it.
When you're whipped and wornout and it's the end of the

(31:55):
month and everybody's grinded,you're like hey, I see a perfect
good loaf of bread that sellsfor $6.
I'll offer you $0.27 for it.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
No, it'll sell for $6 tomorrow.
It's like what?

Speaker 2 (32:07):
Why'd you do that?

Speaker 3 (32:08):
Now we're going to sell you something and we're
going to help you out, but ifyou want the best selection and
you want the best service, comenow, just come now.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
It's just whatever day that is now.
Enjoy the process.
If it's on your mind, you needa car, come now.

Speaker 3 (32:21):
The manufacturer doesn't change the incentives on
the very last day of the monthNope, they're locked in, nope,
so on and so forth.
So I think we all agree.
I know we needed to explainthat a little bit.
It's busted, it's busted, allright.
Our next segment, as wecontinue working through this,
is stress level.
And not necessarily are youstressed, but what does your

(32:42):
stress cause with your team?
And that's leading throughpressure, because we're going to
have that pressure withoutlosing yourself.
So when you think about thatleading through pressure without
losing yourself, now I'm goingto tell you guys this, and you

(33:05):
guys probably know this,probably because you're very
similar I fuel off some pressure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know whatI mean.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
I'm one of those people, because of my
personalities, that I performbetter under pressure than if I
just have like no pressure andeverything's like ooh through it
.

Speaker 3 (33:21):
You know, kind of like the difference in sports of
being the underdog versus beingthere were the returning and
winning all the game yeah, Imean I would rather be in in the
battle and the heat of it,figuring it out like my brain
just goes into a different so soI like to lead through pressure
, but it's very tricky becauseyou don't want it to get past
that manageable pressure, orthen you end up losing yourself

(33:43):
or your leadership.
You know, um, and I think thatcomes a lot through.
You know us, we get to set theexpectations for our team, you
know, and we're we just finishedup with goal setting for for
this month, and it's how do wepush the team that it's
obtainable, but they can push it, but not so far out there where

(34:04):
then everybody's just on pinsand needles yeah, and I think
you find that happy medium andthat's one of the things when I
go over goals with our team ishey, here's this and I give them
the stats to know that they'renot on an island by themselves
like this is non-achievable.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
So give them a 90 day average.
Here's where we're trending,here's what we did last year in
this month, here's how manypeople you have, or here's what
your numbers, your dividers,look like, and so they know that
.
And then it's like hey, we'regoing to stretch this a little
bit.
Here's the expectation for themanufacturer, here's what your
all-time best is, and we'regoing to stretch that a little
bit.
Here's the expectation for themanufacturer, here's what your
all-time best is, and we'regonna stretch that a little bit.

(34:39):
And generally they know that'stheir goal.
And then they divide, dividethat and have the team kind of
up the goal a little bit more tohopefully land on that.
But if you're shooting for xnumber and you come to here and
fall a little short, andgenerally you're going to hedge
that a little bit so they canstill hit a bonus and they still

(34:59):
can get paid, sure, so it's notlike I didn't hit it, I don't
get the money, it's all fornothing, right?
You have to keep that in mindto keep kind of a performance
thing without saying, hey youknow I'm gonna do 250, let's put
it at 500.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
Yeah, you know, like it has to be realistic with,
with reasoning and I thinkthat's where you know the slide
we're talking about in here.
That's the differentiationbetween pressure and then
overwhelming.
Yeah, you know, and there'ssome departments that we have
that we know that we we can'tpush and stretch as much as
others because it would becomeoverwhelming and they would just

(35:35):
shut down.
That's a differentpersonalities and that's okay,
because they do some things.
Great that the people that justlive under pressure don't do
great.
So you have to make sure, like,where to apply the pressure,
yet not overwhelm.
You know, you've convinced them, you've shown them.
Here's your data, here's whatyou've done, here's what the

(35:55):
industry is doing.
We all want to grow.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
Here's what we'll do here yeah, and it's so important
there to have that, have thatbalance.
But I love seeing whenever ourteam takes any of that, and
whether it be the side thatnormally doesn't push very far
or the side that does, that theypush it a little bit farther,
they just want a little bit more.
That's when naturally you know,hey, I set it in at the right

(36:19):
amount, because if you'reunderthinking that or
overthinking it, you'd say, oh,I didn't push it far enough.
No, you want to leave a littlebit on the end.
So they internally have alittle thought of having to push
it a little bit farther.

Speaker 3 (36:32):
Hey, I'll give you a leadership tip out here for
everybody.
It yeah, hey, I'll give you aleadership tip out here for
everybody.
It's not just about setting agoal and then just going on and
doing your thing.
You have to set your goal, butyou then have to sell them on
that you believe that they cando it.
As you, as the leader.
If you don't instill thatconfidence that, hey, I put this

(36:52):
goal out here because I believeyou can achieve it, and here's
how they never will, you must bethe first one to slow down and
convince your team that, hey,you can do this.
I'm here with you and let's go.

Speaker 2 (37:05):
Yeah, the game plan, how you get there, what that
equals, all those thingsAbsolutely.

Speaker 3 (37:11):
You know our mind.
We've talked about our mind abunch in here.
It's a very powerful tool, ityou know.
You have to convince it and youhave to show it and give it the
direction and then turn itloose.
Well, on the next subject,we've talked about this a little
bit.
Let me get y'all's thoughts oncreating emotional buffers,
boundaries, you know, routinesand resets.

(37:31):
Anything else to add on?

Speaker 2 (37:33):
that.
So when I was looking at thatand I was thinking, okay, you
know what makes sense to talkabout here?
Um, as we sit here and say, hey, we don't have a bunch of
people we can go talk to thosethings about, because it's a
high level or it concerns thatperson or whatever, we have to
think about that and feel likeour managers or our team might

(37:55):
be in the same boat.
They might not have that.
And so then, probablyinadvertently, non-directly,
when you're checking in on yourmanagers, hey, here's the goal.
And you're not always like, hey, what's your number?
Hey, is it a busy day?
You know, sometimes it's justthat, hey, you got a busy day,
you got a lot of appointmentslined up.
It's just like a little bit ofa reel is a day, got a lot of

(38:16):
appointments lined up, it's justlike a little bit of a reel.
You're like, hey, man, how's itgoing?
How was last night?
Yeah, break the wall down.
And then it's like, hey, team,good on their.
You know, projection per day islike, hey, tell me what
pushback you had.
So then you're already putting,not negative, but you're saying
, hey, there might be an issue.
So you're gonna say, hey, whatpushback have you had from the
team who have have you seenexcel and who have pushed back,

(38:38):
and then that gives themopportunity to dump some stress
on you.

Speaker 3 (38:43):
That's so good.
I think you're giving anemployee the green light to not
necessarily complain but to bereal with you.
Yeah, and how many?
Even managers?
Well, I can say the majoritywon't naturally do that because
they feel like they're lettingyou down.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Yeah, or just making excuses.

Speaker 3 (39:01):
Or making excuses.
That's good.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
And I'm sitting here thinking that, like, that's not
something that we like by plan,do you know?
But sometimes, like when I'mchecking on separate departments
, you know, and I'm talking tothem, I'm like, all right, well,
hey, I see such and such isdoing a great job.
You know, like you got to comein with something right.
There's got to be some facts orsomething, a nice break or
something.
It's like, hey, I was lookingat this, like this is pretty

(39:25):
solid, good job.
You know.
It's like, hey, what are youseeing?
How's it looking for this guy,for this?
Like, okay, what kind ofpushback are you getting here?
You just give them the greenlight so that the more that you
can implement, giving them theability to relieve their stress,
then what we just talked about,that whole first subject allows

(39:45):
them to be a better performerwith a clearer vision and
deliver a better manager process.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
And sometimes going and we talk about this.
It's no different than withsales whenever you're coaching
them, a manager is the same wayof going in their area.
Yesterday I laughed on peoplewouldn't leave me alone in the
sales tower so I was like I'mgoing to go over here.
I was working on pricing, so Iwas walking through and I talked
to a couple people Well,there's a spare computer and

(40:13):
service drives Like huh, I nevergo in here, let me log in, and
I love being able to log inwherever you want to, on any
computer, so I'll look in therelike oh, uh, uh, taylor, that
one that doesn't work.
I said, oh, it seems to beworking just fine.
And so I got logged in, startedworking on, pulled up some
price and the guy next to me waslike oh god that's my favorite

(40:35):
so I kind of went through and Iwas like, hey, how's it going?
Walked through and I talked tothis guy a little bit, but then
he started going through and acouple of the other guys looking
from the other end were like,oh okay, it's all right, it's
not bad, and so they'd come overand then loved.
So you don't know thedifference you're making
whenever you take some time tobe able to go sit.
You can just sit, you don'thave to work.

(40:57):
But it was just convenientenough that I could sit there
and work on a couple of thingsinstead.
About 30 minutes in there, sonot very long, but enough that I
could ask them about a coupleof things.
But then, more times than not,you're just sitting in there
listening and hearing, and youcan pick up on some things that
maybe you need to come in laterand address and some of them to

(41:17):
go on, that some of them are sostressed out about having to
come find you, like some peopleare.

Speaker 2 (41:24):
I have no problem ask you 84 times a day, like once
they've broken that barrier.
Yeah, some of them will come tomy office and like just scared,
like they saw a ghost.
They're like I didn't think Icould come to you.
It's like get in here, sit down, what's going on?
What's your favorite song?
Let me turn it on for you.
And they're like what?

(41:44):
So if you go in their element,then they might happen to
mention like hey, taylor, haveyou ever thought about this?
And a lot of it's just thinkingit's garbage or not right, it's
just thinking.
But it allows them tocommunicate where they would
never come find you before,because some of them will tell
me it's like I never know whento slow you down because you're
always in a hurry.

(42:05):
I was like well, I'm alwaysavailable to stop, you know.
You know, as long as someone'snot right on the other side
waiting on me, I said but I'malways going to move quickly,
you know.
So either got to fall down infront of me or just like raise
your hand or something.
So being in their element helpswith that.
I laugh.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
The ones that always come and try to find me know
where I'm at.
They walk by me or text me.
They had no idea where I was atbecause I was in a different
complete spot that I wasn'tsupposed to be in.
The city.

Speaker 2 (42:29):
You can see them, you can clearly see them, see them
and they're just like runningaround, like they're at loss,
help, and they'll do that.
The mom, dad, you, when theysee they're like hey, they're
working to deal with one manager, like hey, are you around?

Speaker 3 (42:42):
it's like no, but I see the other managers are yes I
think that that falls in placeof just creating those healthy
routines as a leader, allowingthose other people that are
within your organization have awhat's called a safe place to be
able to emotionally talk aboutthat, so then they can bring a
better version of themselves totheir department.

(43:04):
You know what about how to beable to stay present and avoid
reactive leadership.
You know if we talked a littlebit about that about?
You know, let's stay present,figure out what's going on
versus just putting out a firereactive.
Putting out a fire reactive.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
You know, probably over the last six months I've
really learned this more, andI've had to.
You know, I'm primarily on thedesk while trying to teach other
majors to continue to grow, andI'm sitting there because I
don't want mistakes of them tohappen.
I don't want to say anything,but I'm just listening while I'm
trying to work, but it's moreso just forcing myself of no,

(43:47):
they're going to do it.
And then Matt's talked aboutthis several times it's helped
me a whole lot.
Instead of me saying, no, don'twork with me.
X, y or Z, can you help withthis?
Let's work on this and I'llwalk over there and walk them to
it.
And I've walked them to partsbefore.

(44:09):
I've walked them to servicebefore and they were like they
won't do anything.
And instead of me gettingaggravated, me picking up my
phone texting them like, yeah,give me just a second.
So it's really helped me ofstepping back there and say, hey
, let me show you how to do this, instead of me stepping back in
taking control of the wholesituation.
It's never going to grow if Ido that.

(44:30):
It's never going to grow if Ido that.
So that would probably behelping in the reactive part of
that.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
I think the staying present to grow on that is
finding new areas to unpack.
So you've got to keep the likewhat if?
Like what's on the other sideof that?
Or like why is this account ina surplus?
Or why is it have a heavyexpense?
Like what is that?

(44:55):
So unpacking some things?
It just keeps your.
If you're someone who operatesunder pressure but you've
delegated a bunch of that stufffor other people to handle as a
problem for a business runner,then you're going to need to
find something else to work onto help to be stay present.
So you're not just waiting forthe next customer that wants to
talk to Mr Lewis to sell yousomething, to pitch you

(45:17):
something to give away for freeor to tell you about how your
team did an awful job, likethat's.
I feel like that happens a lotin reactive leadership and
that's gonna happen always.
But then you have to find thething to keep your mind sharp of
trying to constantly look forthe next thing in business or
what's currently going on.
How you can help it out.
I think it's by unpacking allthose little things.

(45:39):
It is you know.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
And then the part of mental toughness versus
emotional resilience and whythat matters.
You got to remember too, under alarge pressure situation Now
let's go to a bigger scale ofwhen we have the pressure of
everybody talking about tariffsright now, or how COVID was, or

(46:01):
when 9-11 happened, or the crashin 08, 09 happened when 9-11
happened, or the crash in 08, 09happened, like these massive
things, where you have a lot ofpressure and the what ifs and
the interest rates going up.
The real leader has to showmental toughness at that point
in time, because you're settingthe pace.
All your employees are lookingat you.
You've got to carry that on andbe mentally very tough and give

(46:23):
them some encouragement andpositive direction that, hey,
it's going to be okay, you know.
Give them some encouragementand positive direction that, hey
, it's going to be okay, youknow.
So there's that part.
And then the emotionalresilience.
You've got to also make surethat you run everything through
a filter before you just haveknee-jerk reactions on
everything, because some of it alot of it is really not that
big of a deal.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Yeah, so they're watching.
When you're getting chewed onby a customer or an employee,
how do you handle?

Speaker 3 (46:49):
it yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Right.
So one it's for the situation,the person on the other side,
but two it's for all the otherpeople that are watching.
Yes, that's you emotionallyproperly being able to handle
that.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
I think the easiest one to talk about there is if
you're at a restaurant and thewaiter, uh, dumps the entire
tray of all the food, or all thefood like like how do they
react?
Yeah, because everybody'swatching who's showing the
strength there, theencouragement and helping them
out.
You know, the same thing goeson in your business.
Is a part doesn't comedelivered, or somebody doesn't
show up, or whatever happens,the internet's out for the day.

(47:23):
That's a big one these days.
What do you do?
How do you rise up and showthem like, hey, it's okay,
here's what you do.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Yeah, and it's so.
I find this so rewardingwhenever you're so hard on your
team, Like, why can't theyfigure it out, why can't they do
this?
They don't call people back,they don't do this.
Your team's doing a whole lotbetter than you think they are,
because if you'll go out noteven in your industry and go
check on people, people losetheir top about this.

(47:53):
That's human nature, of natural, of everyone going in there.
Without great leadership, theydon't do any better.
So it's important, even thoughbeing tough on your team and
pushing them to the next levelsometimes understand that your
team's pretty dang good and theydo a good job.
Life's pretty difficult in thecurrent situation with

(48:15):
everything that's given, so it'salways important to remember
hey, love on your team and makesure they know.
Hey, you're doing a good job,but let's try to do this a
little bit better.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
Very good.
All right Leadership quiz.
What percentage of employeessay they leave a job because of
poor leadership?

Speaker 1 (48:32):
This is going to be higher than what you would
actually think it is.

Speaker 2 (48:36):
What percentage of employees say they leave a job
because of poor leadership, notbecause of bad pay, not because
the company isn't advancing, notbecause sales aren't good, but
poor leadership?
A, 25%, b, 40%.
Because the company isn'tadvancing, not because sales
aren't good, but poor leadership.
A, 25, b, 40, c, 57 or d 75 um.

Speaker 3 (48:57):
Besides the point that I can see the answer right
in front of me.
If you couldn't, if we couldn't, I would still pick as high as
it says that it is.
And here's why because you knowwe're blessed to have the
situation of of multipledifferent buildings and managers
and people, and all of us inhere have talked to employees

(49:19):
that say they love working forthe lewises, they appreciate
what we do and the culture, butthey just can't work for
so-and-so.
Yeah, and we've heard that timeand time again yeah, and it
doesn't mean that that personwas bad, it's just maybe a
conflict of personalities or theway they manage.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
I think it's the exact same philosophy.
Think of a baseball glove or agood basketball shoe.
If it does not fit, it doesn'tmean it's a wrong equipment, it
doesn't mean it's the wrong shoeor wrong glove, it just doesn't
work.
And we've had, like you said,because of multiple different
places, uh, we've had peoplethat were just at the end of the
rope with the managers and theperson, when the person with the

(50:01):
managers like we're ready to bedone and done, and they've gone
to another one of our stores oranother apartments and they're
just soaring at the highestlevel because they didn't.
The yin and yang wasn't good.

Speaker 3 (50:13):
We're kind of unpacking this, but we need to
is that there is the leadershipand the management, but you
can't have great leadership andmanagement without a great
company, because if you have apoor company with poor ethics
and poor strategy, then they allscaled and they all scaled,
yeah, so you got to start at thetop.

(50:34):
Don't lose that.
Yeah, but then the the mainreason employees leave a job is
because of poor leadership.

Speaker 2 (50:41):
The answer is high the answer is 75% of people who
leave.
We're not saying 75% of peopleleave.
75% of people leave, say.
According to Gallup, three outof four leave because they leave
managers, not companies.

Speaker 3 (50:57):
I hope that is a gut check for everybody, including
myself.
To look in the mirror today andgoing am I providing what my
employees need to be successfulin a great organization?
Yeah, because if not, theycould be leaving because of me.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
Yeah, it comes all the way back to the head Just
like hey, you know, have Iprovided all the things?
And so a lot of times we say,have we given time, tools and
training?
Yeah Well, have we given thatto our direct team, and then can
they get that.
So that's really good.
So keep that in mind whenyou're doing that.
All right, last segment herebuilding a stress resilient

(51:34):
culture, starting with you.
How do you build your team tobe resilient towards stress in
your culture and your everyday?
How do you break that down?
Normalizing conversationsaround stress with your team
Okay, so, a little bit just on awhim, came up with that earlier
but how do you normalize thatwithout just saying, hey, all

(51:54):
right, karen, come on here next,tell me what's going on right,
and everybody shows up with alist what's your thoughts?
Do you have anything differentthan what I said, or something
you've seen work, or somethingthat doesn't work, you know,
because it's always an awkwardsituation for me.

Speaker 3 (52:11):
So I've had to come up with a subject no different
than you are and I'll pull aemployee into my office or I'll
go to their office, depending onwhich employee it is.
If I know that they're like theone you were talking about, that
I need to go to their office,I'll go to their office.
We have a bunch of glass officesnow, so it's a little bit

(52:32):
different than the olderdealership, because then
everybody's staring at the twoof us talking.
But I'll always have aicebreaker subject to talk about
, and that subject really hasnothing to do with what we're
actually going to talk about,but it just opens up the
conversation and normalizes itlike what you're talking about
and it's got to be enough to getit going, but not too much

(52:54):
where we're talking about thatfor 30 minutes and the more
often you do that.
So I found now, the more timesthat I invite people to come up
to the office to have businessconversations, the easier it is
to have those conversations.
Most definitely, if you onlyhave them in your office every
six months, then it's totallydifferent.
And I'm meeting with thesepeople who are not an hour long,

(53:18):
they're 10 minutes 15 minutesunless we got to really unpack
something, and then it might be30 minutes.
But the more you talk about that, you'll identify these
stressors early on, instead ofin the past, where I would
identify them when they were outthe door yeah, I mean, it's the
difference of hey, let me godouble check those lug nuts.

Speaker 2 (53:37):
yeah, they need a couple extra foot pounds or the
wheel just fell off.
Yep, you know, just likethere's two different levels to
check those at, and so the moreoften that you, you, you know
you can check that it's like theolden days, they would always
check and add oil every timethey put gas in their cars.
Sure, because the other resultwas that the engine would blow
up.
Don't wait for, you know, aproblem, that's right.

(53:58):
So that's a big thing there therole of vulnerability in
leadership without underminingauthority.
So how do you allow them tohave vulnerability or you to
have vulnerability, withoutunderthinking undermining the

(54:18):
authority of that person or ofyou?

Speaker 1 (54:22):
I think where I've really had success with this is
being able to talk about, evenwhile you're staying calm and
composed with the situation,with a fastball that came out of
nowhere and you had to catch.
Hey, that was difficult and Ihad trouble with this part, but

(54:42):
this is how I arrived at myconclusion, arrived at the
completion of everything goingthrough, of letting them know
that and once you tell them thata couple of times, even though
they see that you're so calm andcollected and you walk through
the whole process and he was thewhoever the customer was was

(55:03):
throwing everything at you andyou still filled it at all oh
god, it didn't affect him at all.
No, come in here and say, yeah,it did affect me, this is how I
felt, or whatever it was.
This is how I handled thesituation and then move forward.
I think then, on the other side, it encourages them, whenever
they have difficult situations,that they can come and ask you

(55:25):
about it and then be able tounpack that with you as well.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
I think there's two parts there in your latest
situations and we've done thisoften, but you don't always get
to do this to share it, becauseyou know the old game with
telephone where I say somethingto you or you're saying it, it
always changes right and theseverity and the tone and the
nonverbal communication willnever translate.

(55:51):
Uh, so, if you have a customerin a situation and you feel like
it's not going to make it worsekeyword not make it worse get
that employer, get the team andlet them be a part of that, so
they can see one what you'rehaving to deal with because of
how they drop the ball, you know.
So my stress level is highbecause we didn't diffuse the

(56:12):
situation, and so now I kind ofwant your stress level to be a
little bit higher because I'mI'll help you diffuse your
stress because we're going totalk about it after we're done
fixing this scenario, butallowing them to be a part of
that, and then afterwards youget to talk about that, and so
it's the vulnerability of likehey, I probably didn't handle
all those things correctly, butyou can see how we did this,

(56:35):
this and this.
So the vulnerability of likehey, there was probably some
areas that we could have grownthere.
And then they will say you knowwhat?
I was so far off, you know,like I knew the parts weren't
available and I knew we wererunning behind, but I never told
them.
And so showing somevulnerability then allows them
to know they can be vulnerableand so then you can really work

(56:56):
on that.
The key issue there.

Speaker 3 (56:58):
I think another side of that vulnerability I was just
sitting here thinking aboutthis is in leadership.
You may have taught youremployees how to handle a
stressful situation and maybethey didn't do it exactly like
you would do it.
You need to have somevulnerability to yourself,
knowing that each person has adifferent personality and the

(57:21):
way they handle it, and, as longas the outcome gets where you
need it to get to, you need tonot undermine them.
You know, be vulnerable thereand go.
Okay, maybe they did listen tome.
They just had to take adifferent path that was more
natural to them.
They can't be me, I can't bethem, but we've got to all go
towards the same goal.
Our paths may look a little bitdifferent, yeah, so we've got

(57:43):
to be willing to do that.
That it's not like crazy rigid,especially when we're talking
about people.
Yeah, you know it's not justone plus one is two you know.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
So that does take some vulnerability.
Yeah, you know All right Tools.
You know, like, what are thetools to help build a stress
resilient culture?
So breathing, reflection breaks, workload audits, feedback
loops so we've talked about,talked about you know kind of
feedback loop and how wecommunicate that and how you
integrate that man, one of thethe the most fun things about
our new campus is the ability tosay, hey, go hit the gym.

(58:17):
Or, you know, like a commonthing you get said around here
is like, hey, go get in the coldplunge.
Like you need to cool off, goget the cold plunge right.
Yeah, and there were some guyslast night were fired up and
they were going to go hit thebasketball court.

Speaker 3 (58:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
You know like so that outlet is right there, so
there's not an excuse.
And they know that you're okaywith it.
It's like, man, you seemstressed, you want to talk about
it.
They're like nope, it's likeall right, cool the sun on for
you, you know, or go sweat itout.
I bet you can't sit on the topshelf for 20 minutes.
That I, I think I'm gonna callthat a tool that we have.

(58:50):
I think it's for sure.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
I think.
Although the word workloadaudits is in there, what I'm
gonna say there is is be willingto have somebody else take a
look at your work.
You know and and we've been inthis situation before, I'm gonna
dumb this down some is likewe've been trying to fix a
project if it's a mechanicaldeal, or if it's a this or that
and like you're just so caughtinto it.

(59:12):
You've been working on it,working on it, and you've busted
your knuckles and you've lostthe pieces and you're like dang
man, I need a break.
Will you try to see if you cando this?
And like a clear mind goes inthere every time?
And it's not that I didn't havethe ability to do it, I needed
to be able to de-stress.
Think about it.
Clearly, same thing happens tothe workplace.

(59:33):
Okay, will you look and see whythis is not balancing Yep?
Or will you please take a lookat this and see why we're not
scheduling?
You know our differentworkloads out correctly.

Speaker 2 (59:45):
And then don't give them the details, don't give
them all the dirt you know, yeah, that's important, that's the
problem, because then you'reclouding their mind, right?
So just say, hey, I need alittle help with this.
Fresh eyes, take a look at thisand see what you think.

Speaker 3 (59:56):
I need to push right there.

Speaker 2 (59:58):
And then walk away, de-escalate and then when they
solve that, don't be likedadgummit, I'm a fool.
Why couldn't I saw that be like?
Oh, stress related.
Thank you so much.
Hey, let me know.
Next time I can look atsomething for you.

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
That's the point, right there is.
Then you open up that omnichannel there going hey, next
time let me return the favor andhelp you out yeah, I think
that's important.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
Listen, all right.
Modeling self-care setspermission for others to do the
same right yep, yeah, that's soimportant.

Speaker 3 (01:00:27):
I think we've went over all that, obviously, of of
taking care of yourself, haveyour outlet, be able to go
through all of that, and but Ithink it was important, like
when y'all were saying just aminute ago, is that if you, if
you've seen employees like thatand we're forced to have
basketball court, pickleball orcold plunge or gym on site here,
is it's like you got to givethem the okay, yeah, like hey,

(01:00:49):
it's two o'clock, go hit the gymfor 30 minutes, it's okay.
I'm telling you, go do it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:55):
Yeah, you know, and they need that green light and
you're like, oh, I can't go overthere if it's not before work
yeah, yeah, and, and that'sthat's your culture, right, and
that's, and it's funny becauseTaylor was showing me or he's
showing someone in the officeand I just happened to I do it
more and more that I'll go andwe have extra desk in areas for
reasons, so I'll just go work inthe sales tower so then I can

(01:01:16):
see what's going on, and themanagers are comfortable with it
now and the other people aregetting there.
But Taylor was showing somebodya video.
He's like like, do you think weshould have this so that the
guys just need to get a pump in?
And I knew that he was watchinga first form video.
In the middle of theirheadquarters they had a bench
press rack.
There's like a row of officesin a row of offices and there's

(01:01:39):
a video from the second storyand the guy's just down there
ripping out 225 on the bench.
And I was like yep, just goahead and bring it over.
Yeah, just like what's that?
It's like god's stressful.
They're like all right, mason,let's go see how many you can do
, right, so, and it's theculture of knowing that that's
okay.
And then like, yep, there's acustomer, let's go get them.

(01:01:59):
Come on, get right off, putyour shirt back on, get out
there what are you doing?

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
you know, back it up and let's go.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
But just having that stress-resilient culture is so
important to have that there.
So I think that wraps it uppretty good of just
understanding those things.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Absolutely.
Hey, getting to the end, acouple of fun questions here,
but going through.
So, Matt or Shelby, either oneof y'all can take whatever you
want to in this, but I meanwhichever one of y'all wants to
go first on it.
But who is someone inleadership that you listen to,
follow, admire, podcast peopleyou talk to, people you

(01:02:37):
de-stress with, doesn't matter.

Speaker 3 (01:02:41):
There's multiple people and y'all have heard us
talk about podcasts and booksand stuff on here.
One of them that's consistentover a year's time and not just
a couple months for me is CraigGroeschel.
Craig does a great job on hisleadership podcast of real-world
leadership.
Gets people talking aboutreal-world situations, just like
we do in here, and then theyunpack it and he's a

(01:03:05):
Christian-basedbased, you know,uh, founder of life church, so
on and so forth, but he'stalking all business there.
What I love about him too thefluff's not there like what he's
talking about's real and he'slived through it.
I can remember listening to apodcast we were talking about
this just a couple weeks agowhere at first, when he started
off, he had a key to everysingle door and he thought he

(01:03:28):
had to be the one to unlock andundo everything until he started
giving up some of thatauthority and empowering others.
So some of the stuff we talkabout it's great to hear from
another perspective.

Speaker 2 (01:03:41):
Yeah, most definitely .
I mean, I got a bunch ofdifferent podcasts I listen to
and bounce to from differentreasons one or other.
You know, I think a book thatdad gave me a long time ago, a
cool leader that was aboutbusiness and was about faith was
Dave Anderson.
You know of understanding that,just somebody that's been
through some stuff and is justcool to be able to go relate to

(01:04:07):
through some stuff and it's justcool to be able to go relate to
, um, you know, I talked, Ilistened to a whole lot of dan
martell stuff.
I think today's leaders ondigital or social, you get way
more out of it because they'retrying to continue to gain
traction.
You know you look like oldschool grant cardone versus
today's grant cardone.
There's just much more to itbecause they're pushing
themselves.
So a bunch from Dan Martell ofjust kind of business hacks, of

(01:04:32):
you know the buy back your timeor those things.
But there's a bunch ofdifferent ones, Like you know.
You could even say likelearning so much from your buddy
.
Why is his name slipped my mind?
Dave Ramsey, oh, Dave Ramsey.
And you might be like, oh, yourDave, his name slipped my mind
Dave Ramsey, oh, Dave Ramsey.
And you might be like oh, yourDave Ramsey philosophy.
He's like, I'm not any onespecific philosophy.

(01:04:52):
I like to take a mule deerhybrid and give it a little of
this, a little of this one, alittle of this one because
they're not all going to fitwhat you're currently doing in
your current lifestyle.
But I think there's some goodthings gained there as well.

Speaker 3 (01:05:05):
I think that's important, that you hit on that,
and we love that you'relistening to our podcast, but we
encourage you to listen tomultiples.
Yeah, don't try to be just oneof us.
And I tell people that if youlook at any of our training
manuals we have in any of ourdepartments, it's blended from
multiple different people andthere's two things.
When I go listen to a traineror I go to a seminar or I listen

(01:05:26):
to a podcast, it's what can Igain out of this?
What can I take away tointegrate into what I'm doing?
I'm not trying to be them, okay, I'm not trying to duplicate
that.
I know that 100% of the stuffthey say is not going to relate
to me or I might not even buyinto, but I'm not going to let,
even if 75% of it's there.
Or I might not even buy into,but I'm not going to let, even

(01:05:47):
if 75% of it's there, I won'tlet that cloud another 25%.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
That could be game changer for me, You're just
looking for the one grand idearight, or the one like oh my
gosh, I never would have thoughtabout that.
Like forget the rest of it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
Like it's like.
You ordered this.
You know you need.
You want a fresh, clean chickenbreast that's grilled, and the
only way to get it at thisrestaurant is to order a
sandwich that comes withmayonnaise, and it comes with.
I'm just going to take all thatstuff toss it.
I'm not the Starbucks order guyand I'm going to eat the
chicken and be like what theheck are you doing?
I just had the best grilledchicken you could ever imagine.

Speaker 3 (01:06:18):
If you'll do that, you'll get so much more out of
it.
The amount of people I I talkedto that didn't say, well, I
didn't like this, I didn't likethis and I don't like this.
It's like you got the wrongmindset.
That mindset's keeping you fromthe stuff you would have liked
from them.

Speaker 2 (01:06:29):
It's no different than when you go to church and
the person says God, all thatpreacher talked about was money.
It's like, well, he talkedabout tithing at the very end.
Did you catch the first 45minutes where he talked about
this, this and this?
It's like, huh, all right, fairenough.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
So much value there though, from learning and
leading from others.

Speaker 1 (01:06:50):
Absolutely.
It's so important to know thatit can be done in small amounts
of time.
It doesn't have to be a longsetting.
You have to sit and go throughall these other things.
So great podcast today, goingthrough a whole lot of things,
talking about things that peopledon't necessarily think about,
but being burned out, still incharge, still working through
with your team.

(01:07:10):
So had a lot of fun today.
Make sure and always check usout at lewisssuperstorecom and
click that like subscribe so youcan follow for more content at
crossroadconversationpodcastcomhey, if you enjoyed this episode
, be sure to give it a like,share with your friends and
family.

Speaker 2 (01:07:26):
Even visit our.
Send us the questions aboutwhat you want to know, what you
want to hear.
Tell us about the automotiveindustry, family, business in
general.
Who do you want to hear from?
Send them our way and we'll doour best to answer any questions
you have.
But make sure you tune in nexttime where we bring in another
guest and we talk more about theautomotive industry and all the
great things going on withinour business.