Anger

In this episode, we begin to explore anger- where does it come from? what does it do for us? what happens when it becomes dysfunctional and how do we break free? We discuss how instantaneous anger feels and how that reactivity helps us to survive against external threats and regain control over our environment. Addiction, trauma, or any situation that requires constant survival often creates never-ending anger/stress- we're supposed to use the anger as a catalyst to seek safety but when that doesn't happen it eventually leads to a state of fatigue, hopelessness, and isolation, doesn't it? That energy is hard to maintain! If this is a pattern, it can get very discouraging, then we're left with the core issues of worthlessness, abandonment.... How do we break free? What if we look at when this pattern started? Did I learn to be angry from or because of someone I was around? Did it get my needs met? Was I invalidated and my needs unmet for a long time? When we're ready to change, we have to move away from survival mode- both changing our environment and dealing with our emotions through reflection. Support groups validate these core issues: we're met with love, and provided with solutions to healing the core issues that subconsciously drove our behavior. Does the work feel heavy at first? Hell yeah! It's painful to identify all the stuff that drove the anger- fear, loneliness, abandonment, etc. which was part of the reason that blaming the world often felt easier- Anger allowed us to avoid changing and accepting responsibility for our own lives. But when we do decide to face it and make necessary changes, we've found that the emotional intensity lowers, the work becomes more automatic, and we find freedom from old beliefs.

Tool References: Needs, Function of Emotions, Dysfunction, The System Crashes, and Resetting the System (all Toolkit 3)