September 29, 2021 • 54 mins
Is it possible to be accountable to yourself?
Today we talk to about self account ability and the excuses we make.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:01):
There we go. Right? Hi, my nameis Steve Marvel, this is crucial
survival. And today I'm talkingto Troy, a online fitness
professional about excuses andself accountability. Joy, thanks
for coming up. I've got thattitle, right. That's online or
(00:23):
Oh,absolutely, man. It's great to
be here. Thanks for having me.
Yeah, that's good fitnessprofessional. Coming from the
brick and mortar world. COVIDkind of set us down. So we're
mate, we're pivoting to go 100%online.
Fantastic. And International,presumably? Absolutely, man.
Great, great. Today, and it wastoday we were talking about
(00:48):
this. But I made an excuse formyself. And I'm not normally the
guy that makes excuses. But itwas checking it down with rain.
And I needed to go to the shops.
And I said to myself, and it'salmost in a vocal way. Actually,
it's raining, I'm not going togo to the shops. Yeah, this was
(01:12):
an excuse I generated formyself, to give myself
permission not to go to theshop. And that is a sort of
general thesis that I've got isthat people have a tendency to
make an a make up an excuse, sothat they don't have to do
(01:36):
something, and they havecomfortable with that. And they
they give themselves permissionto essentially fail. Are you
finding that maybe in thefitness industry?
I think we find it everywhere. Ithink we're all guilty of it at
(01:56):
some point. You know, some arebetter than others. I think it's
a matter of prioritising. Yeah,you know, I think in your own
mind, you give something acertain value, like, you know, a
certain worth is this has to bedone, or I need to do that. But
we can wait. And I think, youknow, it kind of goes along that
spectrum. But yeah, I think wefind it everywhere, especially
(02:17):
in the fitness world, becausephysical fitness takes It's hard
work to transform your body totransform your mind is some hard
work. So I feeland how you were saying there
about training your mind? Whatis it? What is it you you, as a
trainer? Do for people that thathelps them with that? what's
(02:37):
what's the change that's sort ofgoing on there?
Oh, well, it's it's unique toevery individual. Some people
respond well to criticism, somepeople respond well to being
told that they're, that they'rea piece of shit. Some people
respond to that, you know,telling them that they're not
good enough, because then theyrespond by wanting to prove you
(02:57):
wrong, tell them they can't dosomething. And then they'll,
they'll be sure to do it. Andthen there's other people that
need some more positivereinforcement being told they're
good enough, being encouraged todo it being encouraged to
believe in themselves. So it'sreally unique to each
individual. And you kind of haveto get to know somebody to be
able to do that, you know,probably Yeah,
yeah, I found when I'm teachingin survival courses, people,
(03:21):
I've put them in a safeenvironment where they can try
all sorts of creative things.
But I've given them someinstructions to do very
important things like lightingfires, and making shelters and
their acts, they're actuallyquite hard to do in poor
conditions. Lighting fire in ain poor conditions, is is
(03:44):
actually quite difficult. PeopleI've found not so much young
people have, have just simplysat back and said, I can't do
it. And I, I often think thatthat's my fault for not teaching
(04:05):
it well. And certainly when Iwas teaching mathematics, I came
to the conclusion that ifsomebody didn't get it, it
wasn't because they were stupid.
It's because I hadn't taught itin a way that they understood
it. Absolutely. And then I thinkto myself, I've been teaching
(04:26):
this fire lighting to 1000s ofpeople. And you can just spot
when somebody is not thatthey've not listened or
something. They've just decidedand they can't do it. And they
the back almost begging for himhelp. And, and I'm not willing
(04:51):
to give it to them. Have you goand it becomes a almost a
simulation of a life or death.
type situation it's like if youdidn't like this fire then
you're going to get cold andyou're not going to be able to
cook your food and and I'veactually used the phrase and I
(05:11):
don't care is like Off you goyeah mastery
and maybe it's wrong of me butI'm not particularly nurturing
as such absolutely don't get mewrong i don't i don't shy away
(05:33):
from helping people hands on whoI really really trying and just
not getting it absolutely butI'm not very Go team about it
more likely to flip on to thewell I'm not going to do it for
you if you goon I mean if that's the kind of
(05:55):
coach or teacher that you areeducator and that's that's just
that's who you are and I'm 100%support that I try to you know I
try to bend where I can butthere's all you know for me as
well there's a point where I'mlike okay well then this just is
not for you you're gonna have tofind somebody else yeah because
there's some people there's justno getting through to there they
(06:15):
live on excuses. I think youknow it might be getting worse
nowadays I think victimhoodstatus people seem to find value
in being the victim which iswhich is you know very poor
absolutely noyeah so what's what sort of
excuses are you finding in thefitness world and are they
(06:37):
literally skipping to anothertrainer because you're not
allowing them to to fail in thatway
um, you know I guess there's athere's a bunch of them age is a
big one a lot of people all Ican't do that I'm too old you
know one of the great one of thebest ones I got to share this
(06:59):
one of the best excuses that Ihave gotten in trying oh sorry
we're off the table there. Oneof the one of the craziest
excuses I've heard from peoplewhen I'm you know talking to
them about getting in the gymand getting started you know on
their fitness journey is I needto get in shape before I join
your gym. And I'm like, soyou're telling me that you need
(07:21):
to get in shape to get in shape?
You know what I mean? Like Yeah,that's me that that is that is
one of the most popular excusesI've ever heard is I have to get
in shape first and I'm likeyou're not doing that so like
come to my gym I'll get you inshape. Age is a big one. I'm too
old for that I'm not strongenough it's it's intimidating. I
don't like being around otherpeople. I don't like being
(07:42):
watched. I mean there's there'sa there's a bunch of a man i
don't know i don't have themoney.
Right as Yeah, I suppose timeand money is a is a factor that
we as as trainers can help agreat deal
we can know because in mostcases in majority of cases
(08:06):
they're they're lying tothemselves. For instance, you
will say I can't afford to cometo the gym. I can't afford a
membership but you can afford tobuy a Red Bull every day or you
can afford to buy you know fastfood every day. Yeah, yeah, we
can afford those things but youcan't afford to benefit your
health you know, they'llliterally pay to essentially
(08:27):
kill themselves slowly by youknow, buying things that are
poor choices for their healthand then they use that as the
excuse that they don't have themoney to go to the gym it's like
you can change your spendinghabits for one week of your
month and afford a gymmembership. Yeah, learn how to
do it in your house. I meanthat's what we're we're focusing
on now is building a platformfor people to be able to workout
(08:49):
at home without the need forequipment so yeah I've
did the same during the COVIDblocked down I don't know how
many weeks in a row you had thatbut he had extensive here and
and so yeah it was Chin up barand a few weights and bands and
(09:09):
the like that was the only wayand so that it's funny your your
story it's much like the I'vegot I've got to clear up before
the cleaning lady gets hereright yeah her to see the house
like this right? Yeah, yeah.
(09:29):
I've done it myself. You know, Ifind my I make excuses every day
you know a little bit. Again itcomes to that prioritising like
okay, that's not I can wait tilltomorrow to do that. You know,
so it takes it takes someserious focus to do it yourself.
When it comes to the selfaccountability part, man, it
really takes focusand desire. That's that's
something that it's verydifficult to craft and I know
(09:52):
I've done that over over years.
And that was through pushing andpushing and pushing, and
endurance events where I couldget two thirds of the way
(10:13):
through and say, I've done well,or, I've tried my best, right?
without actually analysing whatmy best was, or in fact, having
a history of knowing what mybest could be. And I could have
given up, but I didn't, and Ikept going. And it was this
(10:36):
realisation that actually, andit wasn't the mind over body as
such, but it's a I could havegiven up then, but I can do it.
Oh my god, what if I actuallystarted listening to that
(10:56):
rubbish, right? Yeah, yeah, youknow, I trained myself
consciously to do to do that.
But that was only through my ownwrecking mission within myself.
I'm not sure that everybody cando that. I don't know what do
you think?
(11:18):
I think everybody can I thinkit's a matter of I think it's
possible you know, as we can saythat right? Anything is
possible. So I think it'spossible for anybody it's just a
matter of if they want to ifthere's a piece in them or
something belong in their lifeto that wakes them up to it,
man, it's insanely funnymoments, you know, where we're
all formations take place, likein that moment you talk about
(11:40):
you were two thirds of the wayin, and probably exhausted,
probably dying inside. Yeah, yousay it's not a mind over matter.
But it is, man, it's absolutelya mind over body because your
body wanted to quit, I'm sure ofit. Yes, but you kept going,
man, it was something inside ofyou that did that something
sparked that that epiphany, thatbreakthrough for you to find
that in yourself. And thatusually comes from moments like
(12:03):
that, whether it be somethingintentional, like a marathon or
something like what you did, orit's, you know, a traumatic
event and, you know, death inthe family, or loss of a child,
something like that. It's a lotof times in those moments when
you find those, then yeah,and yeah, and I, I agree I and I
hold now I hold accountabilityto myself, and itself, this self
(12:27):
accountability thing is actuallyvery challenging topic. Gary
Vaynerchuk, who people may ormay not know, just offhand had
said that. accountability isvery, very important to self in
business and bit broadcastingand own all sorts. And he gave
(12:49):
the example of his trainer andthat he will go to his physical
trainer. And do E's workout andthat's great. But if he could
find an excuse not to go, he hadto he would then check himself
(13:10):
because he found himselfaccountable to the trainer. And
I found exactly the same thing.
As there's a guy there. I've andit's not so much that I've paid
him it's that he's expecting me.
And he's going to be good forme. And I really I'm almost
doing it for him. Absolutely.
(13:36):
Yeah. I think thataccountability that that example
isn't for myself that'saccountable to him rid of
it is though Yeah, because youdon't want to you don't want him
upset at you. You don't want himto heat up you don't want him to
think you're a failure you don'twant him to think that you are
making excuses so as to comeback to you it just it's using
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it's like a leverage is havingsomeone there as a leverage. So
that you like you know, wetalked a bit before about
whether you know, whatever youbelieve in the almighty or
whatever it might be, but thatin itself is something to be you
know, people are using to holdthemselves accountable. But But
I hear you man having havingsomething else they're having a
(14:20):
coach. Yeah, it absolutelychanges it makes it easier, you
know, because you have to holdon to a certain Yeah, certain
standards. So yeah,I am. And you you took shown I
just then people, with withfaith in some form of higher
(14:40):
being, it's presumably easier tobe accountable to them. In that,
you wouldn't want to disappointthem or not be the best person.
You can Be but no doubt the rainof excuses still exists there
(15:04):
and possibly even attach opinionto that being as No, it would be
okay. If this because of thisthing that was written in this
book, right, okay to do this,because I wouldn't want to pick
(15:26):
a particular place, but it'sit's so easy to just go round
and round The houses to findthis excuse and I'm and we
touched on it is it is theresuch thing as self
accountability at all is I knowwe've sort of looked round to a
(15:49):
certain extent is how could hepossibly be the case that you
exist? And you're accountable tothat person when it's easy for
you to say no, it's okay. Youtried your best. And you're
almost having because i've i'vequelled that conversation from
(16:12):
happening. But is it not? Idon't know. I don't know. I'm
still having problems with.
Well, I you know, like, I'll goback to what I said before, I
think that it's kind of likewhen someone says you're
selfish, you know, and then youhelp somebody else. Well, I'm
(16:32):
not I'm not I'm helping somebodyelse because I want to help
them. But what was the key inthat right? I said, I want to
help them. So I still did it forme. Even if I'm helping my
neighbour, pick up a yard. Well,I'm helping someone move it,
whatever. I'm still doing itbecause I want to do it for me,
I want to help them. But why?
Because that's going to make mefeel good. So I think maybe self
accountability might be somewhatthe same where it's almost it
(16:55):
when you admit, let's say theyou hire a coach, whether it's
fitness or whatever, you hire ateacher to educate you and to
help you a mentor. You did itbecause you felt you needed that
to get you there. So that initself by hiring that person is
a form of self accountability.
(17:17):
Yes, yeah. Okay, I canunderstand that. Yeah, that is
that is true.
So what's the key to that?
What's the key to inspiring thatself accountability? Um, I don't
know. It's such a desire to growman, a desire to be more than
what you are today. And I thinkthat's the deal with everything
right. Comfort and complacency.
(17:41):
lead to stagnation, man. Likeit's Yeah. Sitting there
comfortable.
Yeah, on courses, harping backto courses. Because I've, I've
most experience with number ofpeople that I've taught is that
one of the people that had theexcuses that I didn't care
(18:05):
about, and I told them, I didn'tcare about them, because I knew
at that point, they werecapable. Actually, when then the
growth is huge. At that point.
Yeah. And to that extent, theystart challenging themselves and
(18:30):
get more wins and wins and wins.
And wins. In the face ofexcuses. Seems it's not so much
a desire to but it's a proofthat it's that I can because
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I've proved it to myself,because I wasn't given the
choice. And like fitness, again,we're talking about trying
trying our best. If I'm doing aflat bench on my own, I will
probably fail. Sorry, I willstop at about two reps. shy of
(19:21):
the amount of reps that I cando. But if I've got a trainer,
they will they will spot me. Soin that case, there is no danger
at all because I can go all theway to failure. Like the
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anything to do with endurancewhere people literally drop that
that is failure and when you arepressing, and you literally
can't get that any further andthe trainer is caught that for
you. Now you know what failureis? And that's I think that's a
(20:04):
strong piece of information.
And so yes, yeah, just havingthat extra having that person
there definitely provides a willget you to the next level. That
was one of the things that Iwanted to talk about today was,
huh, do you mind if I share theshort story,
you can share as what? As muchas you want? Right?
(20:27):
I'll tell you how I became acoach. It's an interesting
story. So years ago, I got intofitness through my own my own
means by beating depressionactually dealt with bad
depression in my my teens in myearly 20s. And physical fitness
was my medicine man, that's whatgot me out of that. And that's
what's kept me kept my mindbalanced. But through that, I
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had some friends, we started afight team, we trained MMA, and
we would go to Colorado anddrive, you know, six hours, 12
hours round trip to go fight forfree. And we had a lot of fun
doing that. And I trainedalongside them. And then one
night, me and me and the guyswere messing around, and I tried
what's called a flying armbar. Ihad never trained it. I've never
practised it. It's Yeah, I foundout the hard way that it's super
(21:12):
dangerous. And not you know, Ihad a couple drinks in me, I
probably shouldn't have beendoing it anyway. But so I jump
up and I try this flying armbar.
And my buddy slams me into thefloor, separated my shoulder,
cracked a rib, you know,concussed myself pretty good.
And I couldn't train I couldn'tdo anything for about three
months, I couldn't my right arm,I couldn't barely shift my car
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from park to drive without myshoulder pulling out of the
socket slightly. So I couldn'tdo anything. So in that time, I
became the coach. So instead oftraining with them, and doing it
all with them, I started beingyour coach full time. And it was
through that, that I learned thetrue power of it. Going back to
kind of what you said thereabout doing the flat bench and
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getting them extra two reps.
Because when I was there to pushthese guys, what I thought we
were doing good. When I becamethe coach, these guys took it to
an entirely different level. Andyeah, it was insane to watch.
And that's when I absolutelyfell in love with coaching and
helping other people to achievethat. Because it we couldn't do
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that without having withouthaving a coach there. Yeah.
proof in the pudding.
Absolutely. For my mind, mybackground has has mathematics
cheating, amongst other things.
And when I started trainingoutdoors, I think I felt a
transition between to being ateacher and, and a coach, if you
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like it's not it's not a phrasewe use much in the UK apart from
in sports. But yeah, I foundthat now I was sort of coaching
and mentoring and working peoplethrough more than just skills
training. And I gained a lot oflove of people, not only
(23:08):
blossoming in skill, but in butin character. And Dr. Dr. was
with with something that reallymade me foreign fall in love
with it. And like I took a hugepay cut. We're working from it
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to teaching 100 nights a yearoutdoors, but I loved it. I
loved it. And and yeah, I lovedit, too. One might say selfish
reasons. But I think the balanceto to other other people was the
huge, there was even a guy and Iwas we were on a five day
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course. And he got so far intoit that after five days
finishing on a Friday, he quithis job on the Monday if he
wanted to go out and be anoutdoor teacher, because not
only did he start loving theoutdoors, but he'd also seen
that people had flourishedoutdoors. And he said he just
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wants to work with children andwhat watch them flourish in the
same way and absolutely, yeah,I've seen families it's it's
it's amazing. And children andas a particular story of a
group, which were I was sosurprised and there was there's
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a group that came over fromHolland. I can't remember
exactly what Well, somewhere inWest Western Europe, and they
were a series of cadets, theywere coming on a five day course
and they came with the stafffrom their own was not regiment
as searching cadets, I've caughtmy example it was and it was it
(25:14):
chopped it down with rain. Hechipped it down with rain for
two and a half days. And I'venever seen people work so hard
to light a fire. Because, andthey and they listened. And they
tried and they failed. And theytried and they failed. And
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there's only one course that'shad that level of brain I've
worked cold courses. But thattook two and a half days of
rain. That's crazy. All I got istheir gear, bit of gear and a
knife, a fire steel and a binbag.
(25:56):
But how much value man how muchvalue is that? They all ask.
That's insane. That's a trickthat most that 90% of the world
can't do. And now they canincredible.
In fact, 90% What are maybe notas much as 90, but have we ever
beat the people that haveactually been on courses?
(26:19):
They're variously outdoors bebushcraft, or survival. Can't do
that.
Yeah, absolutely. And that'scrazy.
What's what if annoyed me, wasthat their member of staff gave
(26:40):
up. He gave up in no time. Andhe just went and said, I'm not I
can't do it. I can't do it. Ican't do it. And so you can know
what kind of example you sayingthese guys.
It's hard to get there mentally.
But for others, it's set forsome it's easy. For some, it's
hard. We were talking before Imentioned to him in the lead up
(27:01):
yesterday when I mentioned davidGoggins man, I've been listening
to that guy like crazy because,yeah, that's incredible. Listen
to his story. And he did thatall with himself. He did that
all for himself. So if there's athere's an example of self
accountability, that's the man.
Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's adifferent human being. It seems.
(27:21):
Yeah, I was talking to chuckcalled Timmy. There's an
interview on online. And yeah,he's a he's a big fan of David
Goggins as well, is that thatthat focus, that drive is just
huge, huge. And so moving on tothe real survival situations, I
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have often wondered, becausenone of the people that have
been on a course unfortunately,somebody that has suffered,
didn't make make it to thecause. Nobody who's done a
(28:11):
course has been in acatastrophic, so I will
situation. And as far as I know,since Of course, nobody has been
on a catastrophic survivalsituation. I wonder what happens
to people when they they getthere? If they are the excuse,
(28:35):
type people, does that just goout of the window? Do they
because certain amount of peopleprovably documented cases have
sat essentially sat down anddied? Yeah, a particular
aircraft landed is either inGreenland or Iceland. I can't
remember. He was a he was an AirForce pilot. He crashed landed.
(29:03):
People knew where he was goingto be roughly. He had thermal
suit, as will be the case. Allthe equipment he needed and what
what they found him in no timeat all. He walked out a
kilometre round in a circle,come back to his plane and they
(29:25):
found him with his servicerevival rover in his hand. And
he ran outwhat's up me one second man, my
dogs barking outside. I'll beback.
Yeah, that kind of sorry. Is itsuper unfortunate and there are
there are many instances whereyou say this. This is super
(29:49):
unfortunate that people havethat mindset. And I don't know
whether or not that say Did hehave the IE B have that sort of
excuse mentality? Or did youjust have the sort of account?
Was it I can't do it? Or isthere no hope? What? If we take
(30:14):
these people that are excuseoriented? and stick them in a
survival situation? Just do theyinstantly change to imagine what
Well, yeah, imagine not man. Imean, based on that story, I
would, everyone's obviouslydifferent. Some people have the
strength to keep going thatinternal drive and other people
(30:36):
have excuses, man. Um, yeah,like I said earlier, I think
it's possible for everyone toget there. But does that mean
everyone does? I don't know.
Obviously not. No. And that'sthere's something else we were
talking about in pre thing wassomething after after I'd had my
stroke. A little while later,probably a year, or 18 months, I
(31:00):
took on a personal trainer whohappened to live behind my
house. And I had said to himvery directly, because he'd
asked about my agility anddexterity stereotyping, I should
say. I said, Yeah, this is whatI've got. And I'm happy with
(31:25):
this. Yeah, it's like that. If,if this is what it is, or
wherever, then I'm happy withthat. And he said, No, I say
I've got haven't necessarily gota solution. But we're going to
try some things. And he gave methat they waited clubs, like
(31:49):
bowling pins.
Yeah. Yeah. Whatever called Iknow what they are to. Yeah, I
know what you're talking about.
And he had me doing a clubcalled a club bell.
Is that right? Yep. Yeah, we'rereally, really weird. But yeah,
(32:09):
just just give me this n, n, nout and forwards and backwards.
And in and out. It was a coupleof weeks only, that I found that
neurologically the change in myentire arm. And the other one,
(32:32):
obviously, was extensive. And Iactually beat myself up to a
certain extent, because I'daccepted. I don't want to say it
was defeat, but it was in alevel where things could go, it
(32:53):
was okay. Now you'recomfortable. And I remember it
reminded me of the time with theinsurance walk, where I'd got
two thirds of the way throughand didn't carry on. Sorry, I
did carry on I but I hadn't withthis arm thing. And I compared
them, and it's like, you shouldhave just carried on. And I
(33:14):
think I think it's probablybecause I didn't understand that
they was a few. There was no, Ididn't understand that there
were exercises that I couldwrite on. But did I did I give
up? Is that giving up? BecauseI was getting comfortable?
That's just getting comfortable?
(33:35):
You know, I don't think that'sgiven up. Yeah. I think getting
comfortable man. And we all do.
And it's a good thing. We havethat right. It's a good thing
that to an extent we have that.
So that had that been the baselevel. And you couldn't have
gotten past that, let's say forinstance, a full paralysis of
the lower body, right? It's goodthing that we have that
(33:56):
mechanism to go, Okay, I canaccept this. This is good
enough, because in some caseslike that, you'll never get your
lower body back. Right. Yeah. Soit's great that we have a
mechanism in our mind to acceptit. But it's also good to
understand that in most cases,with the exception of you know,
those catastrophic things likeagain, full paralysis, in most
cases there is there is a higherground, there is a better level.
(34:18):
So, yeah, so it's good bothways. It's just good to be aware
of it, though.
Yeah. I like to say it's, it's ait becomes a bit I think if if
people certainly say strokevictims, just keep trying to go
and go and go, and things don'timprove. That could probably
(34:41):
become quite depressing. Butcould be absolutely, yeah. And
so. Yeah,good thing that you kind of went
into it with the acceptance. Andyeah, it's very fortunate that
you were able to gain from thatand get better. But I think
yeah, I think that acceptance toa certain point is beneficial.
Yeah, the mental health.
(35:03):
Yeah, I agree.
It's you got to catch yourselfthough it's a matter of if you
will find yourself in your mindwishing more being okay with it,
but still find yourself wishingfor more. I think you got to
follow that man. I think ifthere's a wish you got to fight
for it, man.
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
Absolutely. Um, how? How to try,I think. I don't know, I've been
(35:29):
through some stuff. I think I,I've got that because I think
it's a very small window. of,there's something I can go for.
And there's an excuse that givesme permission. Absolutely. To
stay still, or simply fail atthe task that I'm trying to
(35:50):
achieve. I've on a I can'tremember you on the one phone.
Oh, away. Yeah. I thought I'dsay sales sort of 30 Day
Challenge. And I got I got aweek behind. Oh, it's
(36:13):
a nightmare. They tell you theytell you in the beginning that
it's like two hours a day. Andthen you realise that two hours
a day is just watching thevideos. Yeah. You have to put in
as you're putting it through forfour hours minimum a day.
Yeah. And you get to week three,and it's like, holy shit. Yeah.
How am I supposed to do that? Aeight hours a day job? Right?
(36:37):
And eat? Yeah.
Maybe man, but I got a wife andkids. You know, I got to keep up
around the house and do dishesand laundry. And I got other
things to do. Man, that was atough challenge. Supercenter?
Did you? Did you get through it?
Or I'm in my own way, I didn'tcomplete it as they want me to
No,no, no, no, did I what I've not
done, because I watched myselfget far behind. When you see
(37:03):
once he got to two days, andthree days, it was ultimately a
week. But it was two days andthree days, I could have said on
our calendar. I do see thenumbers because you can see the
numbers of people in theconsultation calls. And the
number of people contributingthis massive drop off as as the
(37:25):
challenge progresses. And I wasreally I was disappointed in
them if you like and I don'tknow, though, that that that
actually happened people withsuch drive at the beginning just
disappeared.
(37:48):
Now. I get it though I did itand I didn't you know, it was I
could go into detail on it. Butum, there it was, like you said
it was tough. I mean, if youdon't have that time and you
have other obligations. Thereare times when it's it's a
matter again of prioritising doI do the one funnel away
challenge or do I make my wifehappy? times I gotta do I gotta
(38:13):
keep her happy, man. So therewere days, I just could not I
couldn't sit down and spend thesix, seven hours it took to
catch up. Soyeah, no, absolutely. You know,
I ever go ahead and open.
I've put myself in a positionnow, where I've said, I accepted
that was getting behind, didn'tstop just carried on. And I'm
(38:34):
just doing it again. There yougo. Yeah, I saved every
head. Now. I'm gonna be aheadprobably two weeks. And I can
start week three, again, but wehold on. I mean, this particular
challenge is a MarketingChallenge. And you have 30 days
(38:57):
to do it. And at the end of it,it all disappears. That's the I
was just explaining what the,the National challenge was. It's
like you start and the end allof the material disappears.
Right? It was was quite, I wasconcerned about that. But at
least it get Dave didn't give methe excuse to, I'll just wait.
(39:20):
Because I'll be able to do it inmy own time. And that's what
they said at the beginning. It'slike, you have to have it.
Recently, I've announced that myproduct will launch on the 14th
of December. And I've got somework to do. And I think it's the
(39:42):
only way I'm going to definitelyget it all done.
Right. You got to know thatsomething Hang in there. And
it's it's,it's gonna, it's happening.
Yeah, I'm going to do it and I'mgoing to complete it and I think
it I think I needed that. Inorder to do that it was
(40:02):
priorities.
Yeah, you gotta set Yeah, yougot a credit, man. And when you
like you swipe we talked aboutearlier, when you have other
people that depend on you. Itchanges it changes your level of
self accountability when there'sother there's other people
involved, man.
Yeah, we find this, again, insurvival courses. Traditional
(40:29):
survival courses, the way theysold is that a course exists.
And some people go to it. It'snot like, the way I've done
courses in the past is youaccompany says, here we go.
We've got 20 people, it might bethe military. Here's 20. People
(40:50):
don't teach them. They all knoweach other. Or it might be a
team building thing. Okay. Butgenerally speaking, they'll say,
here's a course on this date,you can buy a place on it. And
so you have random people whodon't know each other and okay.
You You may be split them intofours, so you can have a nice
(41:12):
big shelter. Because everybodyin one shelter with one fire
eat, it's actually quite arduousto get everybody to do the work.
But yeah, four people in ashelter, and they really, really
have to work. And they becomeaccountable to each other. And
(41:37):
as soon as somebody is not, thenit the group dynamic goes to
hell.
That's a man. You know, that'sthe key to the military, the
military trains is that like,one person can screw the whole
group up. So yeah, and then whenyou have, you know, 10 1520
other people around you pissedoff because you messed
(41:58):
everything up, man. Yeah, thatwould be Ryan, that'll get you
to go.
But then as as well I've, I knowit's off track. But I've, I've
seen it's not the mentalstability as such, but the
attachment that somebody canhave to a stick. Once you've
found your favourite stick, itmight be a pokey stick, or
(42:23):
something for putting, like,like hanging something over the
fire when it's the perfectshape, and the perfect hardness.
And if people leave their sticknear the bay bed, for instance,
if somebody burns that stick intheir shelter. I've seen people
(42:43):
not talk to each other for aday. Man, that's crazy. They
have this so it's just a stick.
No, it was my serious business.
You know what when woodlandfilled it full of sticks, we
guess but that was special. Iwas your mistake. I the guy. And
(43:06):
he he's, he's one of the fewpeople I think I've shouted at
with that sort of, are yougetting joking level of
shouting? It said we're in thewoodlands. Lighting fires. And
he can't light the fire. Iillustrate what why it's wrong.
(43:29):
This Aren't you hadn't got theprogression of this. You're
trying to basically light a treewith some grass. There's the
need that in between you thingis that Off you go. That's don't
get some wood. That's this bigthis big in this big. Yeah. And
(43:53):
he goes you've got an echo. Hejust moved in a
microphone. I did. Yeah. Mymicrophone fell.
That's okay. Yep. So fine now sofine. Okay. Yeah. And so I sent
it off. And he came back. And hesaid, there's no wood. I'm
(44:17):
sorry. There's what? There's nowood. And they say we're in a
woodland. And he's saying, Areyou kidding? joking, right?
Well, what did you go throughwhat is going on in his head?
(44:40):
He's he just so is he down thatthis is this is this is causing
a problem? Or was he the guythat just found an excuse? It
was just a very, very bad choiceof excuse,
right? That's bad. By gettingback to the one I said, you got
(45:01):
to get in shape to get in shape.
Right?
And you got to clean the housebefore the cleaning lady.
Yeah, you're in the middle ofthe woods. But there's no wood
right? Yeah, that's good.
Yeah. So what if we discovered?
I think I certainly agree withyou that the ability to have
(45:22):
that conversation within you,where you can stop being the
excuse guy is possible ineverybody. And I think it's
quite possibly a learned skill.
(45:44):
It is it's, it's not somethingthat is not taught to kids, you
know, in general in generaleducation? Because it is, it's a
secret Really?
Yeah, I'm not entirely sure howone would teach that to
(46:04):
children. But that's possibly inletting them know that it's
possible. And, you know, we kindof, you know, I don't know about
your neck of the woods, but Ican say that in the United
States over the last, you know,I've watched in my entire life
over the last 2030 years, 20years, specifically, the, you
know, everyone gets a trophy,that kind of culture. What's the
(46:25):
real deal?
It's more prevalent in thestate, certainly the pub
trophies. So know.
If we have kids here, they'reteaching kids here that you
don't have to try it. You don'thave to be you don't have to get
better that you're fine. Beingmediocre, you're fine being less
(46:48):
than average, which I I amthoroughly against. I don't
think you need to pressure aperson and make them feel bad,
but I think you need to makethem aware of what they're truly
capable of. Maybe you can lookat, there's different people in
the world. There's people thatwere that are been born with no
art. Give me a secondchance. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So,
participation trophies,but there are people in this
(47:13):
world that were literally bornwith no arms and no legs and who
have went on to becomemultimillionaires, who have an
incredible impact on the world.
Yep. If there's anybody that hasan excuse, that's the person but
if they can do that, we need tolet the rest we need to be
letting kids know, and drivinginto their psyche that they are
(47:33):
capable of much more than Yeah,whatever level they're at.
Yeah. And also it's okay to benot good at something. Because
people are good at something.
And not good.
Man, find your passion, findwhat you'd naturally love to do.
(47:53):
And then on that 100% that's howmasters are made man.
Yeah, I absolutely agree. You'resaying about disability? the
Paralympics is almost a betterwatch for me. Then. Able Bali
(48:15):
able bodied Olympics. They it'sobviously a massive effort to
swim at that speed. Right? If nolegs or manoeuvre around even a
basketball court. And it's justbut everybody's trying trying
(48:40):
trying trying and if you had noif you had an excuse problem is
sit at home watch Netflix. Therewill be two things I remember
there was a programme and Ithink it was the UK based well I
mean it was produced in the UKwhere they took a number of
(49:04):
people into long the Amazon andin rain forest on an expedition
who all had different levels ofI think the the levels and
that's this the different typesof disability might be
wheelchair bound there mighthave no arms or whatever
(49:28):
relevant and there was a guythat was deaf. And he was the
one complaining most our can'tdo this. I can't do and this guy
I think he said literally. Whatdo you fucking complaining
(49:48):
about? I've only got one leg,right? Yeah,
yeah. And again, it is excuseexcuse. It exists Throughout,
I'm trying to not repeat thesame thing. But to come back to
(50:09):
where I was before goingsideways again, yes, I believe
we can all do it. And we and itpossibly is a fine line at that
epiphany moment where you couldhave made that excuse or seen
that and carried on and that,that when might just be enough
(50:32):
to continue on that passiverealisation that that excuse
would have just given you afailure, which is nobody, nobody
wants to fail. Do you have anyother things you want to raise
(50:54):
on that?
Yeah, just kind of, you know, asyou said, like, kind of what
value what have we learnedtoday? I think I would say maybe
being made aware of thepossibilities is a key to most
people. A lot of people that useexcuses simply don't believe
that anything was possible. Youknow, that's one of the hardest
(51:14):
parts is getting thatbreakthrough to happen. Because
again, like we discussed before,that break that we usually the
biggest breakthroughs happenwhen you're at the lowest point
in life, you're either you'redown, like you had a stroke and
and now what I have, now you areforced to do something, you're
forced to find that innerstrength, loss of a loved one,
you know, my wife and I, oursecond child was stillborn. We
(51:38):
knew about it ahead of time.
Still heartbreaking. And Iremember the day I'll see our
short story that day, the day atthe hospital, I remember, like,
walking through the parking lot,head down, sad, and a car pulled
in, and was like revving theirengine at me because I was in
their way. And in that moment, Ithought, instead of being mad at
them, like, you know, if youtreat me like that, look what
(52:00):
I'm going through, I realised inthat moment that I've been that
person. I've done that topeople. And I will never do that
again. Because how do I know?
You know, so it was like it wasin that moment of dark of
darkness that I had one of thebest lessons in life, you know,
and I think to this day, whenpeople say, Oh, I'm sorry to
hear that I say, there's no needto be sorry about it. It
(52:23):
happened, it is what it is. Butit was I learned more about
myself and I grew more as a manin that process than any other
time in my life. And that's whenthe breakthroughs are made.
Yeah. And so let's say, Get getput yourself in an uncomfortable
situation. And you'll learnsomething, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And as, as we said, previouslyseen as well, those people who
(52:47):
have lost everything,financially, say, I had I had a
business go under. And that wasjust bankruptcy. I had nothing.
Right beside. For, for me comingback from that was a big lesson
(53:08):
and a great deal of theentrepreneurs that we hear
about. Have any with your pointthat you raise is that they had
been x their lowest ebb. Yep.
And, like, right, off we go.
(53:28):
That's it, man. Yeah,you got to put yourself in
comfortable situations. today. Iposted right before this
interview. I said, I'm nervous.
I'm anxious. But it's it's inthese uncomfortable situations
that we grow the most. And sowe've got to learn, we got to
learn and we got to help teachothers to embrace that to
embrace the discomfort in ourlives and quit. Quit trying so
(53:50):
hard to be comfortable, man.
It's easy to be comfortable.
Absolutely. I completely agree.
Absolutely. Troy, it's been anabsolute pleasure.
Likewise, man, likewise.
Thank you. Thank you for coming.
And yeah, this will be availableon YouTube. At some point it
will be saying on Facebook forforever. And, yeah, no doubt.
(54:11):
We'll speak again in a fewhours.
This was a good time. Iappreciate it. Thanks for the
opportunity.
Great times. Thank you verymuch. Cheers. Bye.
There we go. Right? Hi, my nameis Steve Marvel, this is crucial
survival. And today I'm talkingto Troy, a online fitness
professional about excuses andself accountability. Joy, thanks
for coming up. I've got thattitle, right. That's online or
(00:23):
Oh,absolutely, man. It's great to
be here. Thanks for having me.
Yeah, that's good fitnessprofessional. Coming from the
brick and mortar world. COVIDkind of set us down. So we're
mate, we're pivoting to go 100%online.
Fantastic. And International,presumably? Absolutely, man.
Great, great. Today, and it wastoday we were talking about
(00:48):
this. But I made an excuse formyself. And I'm not normally the
guy that makes excuses. But itwas checking it down with rain.
And I needed to go to the shops.
And I said to myself, and it'salmost in a vocal way. Actually,
it's raining, I'm not going togo to the shops. Yeah, this was
(01:12):
an excuse I generated formyself, to give myself
permission not to go to theshop. And that is a sort of
general thesis that I've got isthat people have a tendency to
make an a make up an excuse, sothat they don't have to do
(01:36):
something, and they havecomfortable with that. And they
they give themselves permissionto essentially fail. Are you
finding that maybe in thefitness industry?
I think we find it everywhere. Ithink we're all guilty of it at
(01:56):
some point. You know, some arebetter than others. I think it's
a matter of prioritising. Yeah,you know, I think in your own
mind, you give something acertain value, like, you know, a
certain worth is this has to bedone, or I need to do that. But
we can wait. And I think, youknow, it kind of goes along that
spectrum. But yeah, I think wefind it everywhere, especially
(02:17):
in the fitness world, becausephysical fitness takes It's hard
work to transform your body totransform your mind is some hard
work. So I feeland how you were saying there
about training your mind? Whatis it? What is it you you, as a
trainer? Do for people that thathelps them with that? what's
(02:37):
what's the change that's sort ofgoing on there?
Oh, well, it's it's unique toevery individual. Some people
respond well to criticism, somepeople respond well to being
told that they're, that they'rea piece of shit. Some people
respond to that, you know,telling them that they're not
good enough, because then theyrespond by wanting to prove you
(02:57):
wrong, tell them they can't dosomething. And then they'll,
they'll be sure to do it. Andthen there's other people that
need some more positivereinforcement being told they're
good enough, being encouraged todo it being encouraged to
believe in themselves. So it'sreally unique to each
individual. And you kind of haveto get to know somebody to be
able to do that, you know,probably Yeah,
yeah, I found when I'm teachingin survival courses, people,
(03:21):
I've put them in a safeenvironment where they can try
all sorts of creative things.
But I've given them someinstructions to do very
important things like lightingfires, and making shelters and
their acts, they're actuallyquite hard to do in poor
conditions. Lighting fire in ain poor conditions, is is
(03:44):
actually quite difficult. PeopleI've found not so much young
people have, have just simplysat back and said, I can't do
it. And I, I often think thatthat's my fault for not teaching
(04:05):
it well. And certainly when Iwas teaching mathematics, I came
to the conclusion that ifsomebody didn't get it, it
wasn't because they were stupid.
It's because I hadn't taught itin a way that they understood
it. Absolutely. And then I thinkto myself, I've been teaching
(04:26):
this fire lighting to 1000s ofpeople. And you can just spot
when somebody is not thatthey've not listened or
something. They've just decidedand they can't do it. And they
the back almost begging for himhelp. And, and I'm not willing
(04:51):
to give it to them. Have you goand it becomes a almost a
simulation of a life or death.
type situation it's like if youdidn't like this fire then
you're going to get cold andyou're not going to be able to
cook your food and and I'veactually used the phrase and I
(05:11):
don't care is like Off you goyeah mastery
and maybe it's wrong of me butI'm not particularly nurturing
as such absolutely don't get mewrong i don't i don't shy away
(05:33):
from helping people hands on whoI really really trying and just
not getting it absolutely butI'm not very Go team about it
more likely to flip on to thewell I'm not going to do it for
you if you goon I mean if that's the kind of
(05:55):
coach or teacher that you areeducator and that's that's just
that's who you are and I'm 100%support that I try to you know I
try to bend where I can butthere's all you know for me as
well there's a point where I'mlike okay well then this just is
not for you you're gonna have tofind somebody else yeah because
there's some people there's justno getting through to there they
(06:15):
live on excuses. I think youknow it might be getting worse
nowadays I think victimhoodstatus people seem to find value
in being the victim which iswhich is you know very poor
absolutely noyeah so what's what sort of
excuses are you finding in thefitness world and are they
(06:37):
literally skipping to anothertrainer because you're not
allowing them to to fail in thatway
um, you know I guess there's athere's a bunch of them age is a
big one a lot of people all Ican't do that I'm too old you
know one of the great one of thebest ones I got to share this
(06:59):
one of the best excuses that Ihave gotten in trying oh sorry
we're off the table there. Oneof the one of the craziest
excuses I've heard from peoplewhen I'm you know talking to
them about getting in the gymand getting started you know on
their fitness journey is I needto get in shape before I join
your gym. And I'm like, soyou're telling me that you need
(07:21):
to get in shape to get in shape?
You know what I mean? Like Yeah,that's me that that is that is
one of the most popular excusesI've ever heard is I have to get
in shape first and I'm likeyou're not doing that so like
come to my gym I'll get you inshape. Age is a big one. I'm too
old for that I'm not strongenough it's it's intimidating. I
don't like being around otherpeople. I don't like being
(07:42):
watched. I mean there's there'sa there's a bunch of a man i
don't know i don't have themoney.
Right as Yeah, I suppose timeand money is a is a factor that
we as as trainers can help agreat deal
we can know because in mostcases in majority of cases
(08:06):
they're they're lying tothemselves. For instance, you
will say I can't afford to cometo the gym. I can't afford a
membership but you can afford tobuy a Red Bull every day or you
can afford to buy you know fastfood every day. Yeah, yeah, we
can afford those things but youcan't afford to benefit your
health you know, they'llliterally pay to essentially
(08:27):
kill themselves slowly by youknow, buying things that are
poor choices for their healthand then they use that as the
excuse that they don't have themoney to go to the gym it's like
you can change your spendinghabits for one week of your
month and afford a gymmembership. Yeah, learn how to
do it in your house. I meanthat's what we're we're focusing
on now is building a platformfor people to be able to workout
(08:49):
at home without the need forequipment so yeah I've
did the same during the COVIDblocked down I don't know how
many weeks in a row you had thatbut he had extensive here and
and so yeah it was Chin up barand a few weights and bands and
(09:09):
the like that was the only wayand so that it's funny your your
story it's much like the I'vegot I've got to clear up before
the cleaning lady gets hereright yeah her to see the house
like this right? Yeah, yeah.
(09:29):
I've done it myself. You know, Ifind my I make excuses every day
you know a little bit. Again itcomes to that prioritising like
okay, that's not I can wait tilltomorrow to do that. You know,
so it takes it takes someserious focus to do it yourself.
When it comes to the selfaccountability part, man, it
really takes focusand desire. That's that's
something that it's verydifficult to craft and I know
(09:52):
I've done that over over years.
And that was through pushing andpushing and pushing, and
endurance events where I couldget two thirds of the way
(10:13):
through and say, I've done well,or, I've tried my best, right?
without actually analysing whatmy best was, or in fact, having
a history of knowing what mybest could be. And I could have
given up, but I didn't, and Ikept going. And it was this
(10:36):
realisation that actually, andit wasn't the mind over body as
such, but it's a I could havegiven up then, but I can do it.
Oh my god, what if I actuallystarted listening to that
(10:56):
rubbish, right? Yeah, yeah, youknow, I trained myself
consciously to do to do that.
But that was only through my ownwrecking mission within myself.
I'm not sure that everybody cando that. I don't know what do
you think?
(11:18):
I think everybody can I thinkit's a matter of I think it's
possible you know, as we can saythat right? Anything is
possible. So I think it'spossible for anybody it's just a
matter of if they want to ifthere's a piece in them or
something belong in their lifeto that wakes them up to it,
man, it's insanely funnymoments, you know, where we're
all formations take place, likein that moment you talk about
(11:40):
you were two thirds of the wayin, and probably exhausted,
probably dying inside. Yeah, yousay it's not a mind over matter.
But it is, man, it's absolutelya mind over body because your
body wanted to quit, I'm sure ofit. Yes, but you kept going,
man, it was something inside ofyou that did that something
sparked that that epiphany, thatbreakthrough for you to find
that in yourself. And thatusually comes from moments like
(12:03):
that, whether it be somethingintentional, like a marathon or
something like what you did, orit's, you know, a traumatic
event and, you know, death inthe family, or loss of a child,
something like that. It's a lotof times in those moments when
you find those, then yeah,and yeah, and I, I agree I and I
hold now I hold accountabilityto myself, and itself, this self
(12:27):
accountability thing is actuallyvery challenging topic. Gary
Vaynerchuk, who people may ormay not know, just offhand had
said that. accountability isvery, very important to self in
business and bit broadcastingand own all sorts. And he gave
(12:49):
the example of his trainer andthat he will go to his physical
trainer. And do E's workout andthat's great. But if he could
find an excuse not to go, he hadto he would then check himself
(13:10):
because he found himselfaccountable to the trainer. And
I found exactly the same thing.
As there's a guy there. I've andit's not so much that I've paid
him it's that he's expecting me.
And he's going to be good forme. And I really I'm almost
doing it for him. Absolutely.
(13:36):
Yeah. I think thataccountability that that example
isn't for myself that'saccountable to him rid of
it is though Yeah, because youdon't want to you don't want him
upset at you. You don't want himto heat up you don't want him to
think you're a failure you don'twant him to think that you are
making excuses so as to comeback to you it just it's using
(13:59):
it's like a leverage is havingsomeone there as a leverage. So
that you like you know, wetalked a bit before about
whether you know, whatever youbelieve in the almighty or
whatever it might be, but thatin itself is something to be you
know, people are using to holdthemselves accountable. But But
I hear you man having havingsomething else they're having a
(14:20):
coach. Yeah, it absolutelychanges it makes it easier, you
know, because you have to holdon to a certain Yeah, certain
standards. So yeah,I am. And you you took shown I
just then people, with withfaith in some form of higher
(14:40):
being, it's presumably easier tobe accountable to them. In that,
you wouldn't want to disappointthem or not be the best person.
You can Be but no doubt the rainof excuses still exists there
(15:04):
and possibly even attach opinionto that being as No, it would be
okay. If this because of thisthing that was written in this
book, right, okay to do this,because I wouldn't want to pick
(15:26):
a particular place, but it'sit's so easy to just go round
and round The houses to findthis excuse and I'm and we
touched on it is it is theresuch thing as self
accountability at all is I knowwe've sort of looked round to a
(15:49):
certain extent is how could hepossibly be the case that you
exist? And you're accountable tothat person when it's easy for
you to say no, it's okay. Youtried your best. And you're
almost having because i've i'vequelled that conversation from
(16:12):
happening. But is it not? Idon't know. I don't know. I'm
still having problems with.
Well, I you know, like, I'll goback to what I said before, I
think that it's kind of likewhen someone says you're
selfish, you know, and then youhelp somebody else. Well, I'm
(16:32):
not I'm not I'm helping somebodyelse because I want to help
them. But what was the key inthat right? I said, I want to
help them. So I still did it forme. Even if I'm helping my
neighbour, pick up a yard. Well,I'm helping someone move it,
whatever. I'm still doing itbecause I want to do it for me,
I want to help them. But why?
Because that's going to make mefeel good. So I think maybe self
accountability might be somewhatthe same where it's almost it
(16:55):
when you admit, let's say theyou hire a coach, whether it's
fitness or whatever, you hire ateacher to educate you and to
help you a mentor. You did itbecause you felt you needed that
to get you there. So that initself by hiring that person is
a form of self accountability.
(17:17):
Yes, yeah. Okay, I canunderstand that. Yeah, that is
that is true.
So what's the key to that?
What's the key to inspiring thatself accountability? Um, I don't
know. It's such a desire to growman, a desire to be more than
what you are today. And I thinkthat's the deal with everything
right. Comfort and complacency.
(17:41):
lead to stagnation, man. Likeit's Yeah. Sitting there
comfortable.
Yeah, on courses, harping backto courses. Because I've, I've
most experience with number ofpeople that I've taught is that
one of the people that had theexcuses that I didn't care
(18:05):
about, and I told them, I didn'tcare about them, because I knew
at that point, they werecapable. Actually, when then the
growth is huge. At that point.
Yeah. And to that extent, theystart challenging themselves and
(18:30):
get more wins and wins and wins.
And wins. In the face ofexcuses. Seems it's not so much
a desire to but it's a proofthat it's that I can because
(18:54):
I've proved it to myself,because I wasn't given the
choice. And like fitness, again,we're talking about trying
trying our best. If I'm doing aflat bench on my own, I will
probably fail. Sorry, I willstop at about two reps. shy of
(19:21):
the amount of reps that I cando. But if I've got a trainer,
they will they will spot me. Soin that case, there is no danger
at all because I can go all theway to failure. Like the
(19:43):
anything to do with endurancewhere people literally drop that
that is failure and when you arepressing, and you literally
can't get that any further andthe trainer is caught that for
you. Now you know what failureis? And that's I think that's a
(20:04):
strong piece of information.
And so yes, yeah, just havingthat extra having that person
there definitely provides a willget you to the next level. That
was one of the things that Iwanted to talk about today was,
huh, do you mind if I share theshort story,
you can share as what? As muchas you want? Right?
(20:27):
I'll tell you how I became acoach. It's an interesting
story. So years ago, I got intofitness through my own my own
means by beating depressionactually dealt with bad
depression in my my teens in myearly 20s. And physical fitness
was my medicine man, that's whatgot me out of that. And that's
what's kept me kept my mindbalanced. But through that, I
(20:48):
had some friends, we started afight team, we trained MMA, and
we would go to Colorado anddrive, you know, six hours, 12
hours round trip to go fight forfree. And we had a lot of fun
doing that. And I trainedalongside them. And then one
night, me and me and the guyswere messing around, and I tried
what's called a flying armbar. Ihad never trained it. I've never
practised it. It's Yeah, I foundout the hard way that it's super
(21:12):
dangerous. And not you know, Ihad a couple drinks in me, I
probably shouldn't have beendoing it anyway. But so I jump
up and I try this flying armbar.
And my buddy slams me into thefloor, separated my shoulder,
cracked a rib, you know,concussed myself pretty good.
And I couldn't train I couldn'tdo anything for about three
months, I couldn't my right arm,I couldn't barely shift my car
(21:34):
from park to drive without myshoulder pulling out of the
socket slightly. So I couldn'tdo anything. So in that time, I
became the coach. So instead oftraining with them, and doing it
all with them, I started beingyour coach full time. And it was
through that, that I learned thetrue power of it. Going back to
kind of what you said thereabout doing the flat bench and
(21:55):
getting them extra two reps.
Because when I was there to pushthese guys, what I thought we
were doing good. When I becamethe coach, these guys took it to
an entirely different level. Andyeah, it was insane to watch.
And that's when I absolutelyfell in love with coaching and
helping other people to achievethat. Because it we couldn't do
(22:15):
that without having withouthaving a coach there. Yeah.
proof in the pudding.
Absolutely. For my mind, mybackground has has mathematics
cheating, amongst other things.
And when I started trainingoutdoors, I think I felt a
transition between to being ateacher and, and a coach, if you
(22:42):
like it's not it's not a phrasewe use much in the UK apart from
in sports. But yeah, I foundthat now I was sort of coaching
and mentoring and working peoplethrough more than just skills
training. And I gained a lot oflove of people, not only
(23:08):
blossoming in skill, but in butin character. And Dr. Dr. was
with with something that reallymade me foreign fall in love
with it. And like I took a hugepay cut. We're working from it
(23:35):
to teaching 100 nights a yearoutdoors, but I loved it. I
loved it. And and yeah, I lovedit, too. One might say selfish
reasons. But I think the balanceto to other other people was the
huge, there was even a guy and Iwas we were on a five day
(24:02):
course. And he got so far intoit that after five days
finishing on a Friday, he quithis job on the Monday if he
wanted to go out and be anoutdoor teacher, because not
only did he start loving theoutdoors, but he'd also seen
that people had flourishedoutdoors. And he said he just
(24:28):
wants to work with children andwhat watch them flourish in the
same way and absolutely, yeah,I've seen families it's it's
it's amazing. And children andas a particular story of a
group, which were I was sosurprised and there was there's
(24:51):
a group that came over fromHolland. I can't remember
exactly what Well, somewhere inWest Western Europe, and they
were a series of cadets, theywere coming on a five day course
and they came with the stafffrom their own was not regiment
as searching cadets, I've caughtmy example it was and it was it
(25:14):
chopped it down with rain. Hechipped it down with rain for
two and a half days. And I'venever seen people work so hard
to light a fire. Because, andthey and they listened. And they
tried and they failed. And theytried and they failed. And
(25:34):
there's only one course that'shad that level of brain I've
worked cold courses. But thattook two and a half days of
rain. That's crazy. All I got istheir gear, bit of gear and a
knife, a fire steel and a binbag.
(25:56):
But how much value man how muchvalue is that? They all ask.
That's insane. That's a trickthat most that 90% of the world
can't do. And now they canincredible.
In fact, 90% What are maybe notas much as 90, but have we ever
beat the people that haveactually been on courses?
(26:19):
They're variously outdoors bebushcraft, or survival. Can't do
that.
Yeah, absolutely. And that'scrazy.
What's what if annoyed me, wasthat their member of staff gave
(26:40):
up. He gave up in no time. Andhe just went and said, I'm not I
can't do it. I can't do it. Ican't do it. And so you can know
what kind of example you sayingthese guys.
It's hard to get there mentally.
But for others, it's set forsome it's easy. For some, it's
hard. We were talking before Imentioned to him in the lead up
(27:01):
yesterday when I mentioned davidGoggins man, I've been listening
to that guy like crazy because,yeah, that's incredible. Listen
to his story. And he did thatall with himself. He did that
all for himself. So if there's athere's an example of self
accountability, that's the man.
Yeah. You know? Yeah, that's adifferent human being. It seems.
(27:21):
Yeah, I was talking to chuckcalled Timmy. There's an
interview on online. And yeah,he's a he's a big fan of David
Goggins as well, is that thatthat focus, that drive is just
huge, huge. And so moving on tothe real survival situations, I
(27:50):
have often wondered, becausenone of the people that have
been on a course unfortunately,somebody that has suffered,
didn't make make it to thecause. Nobody who's done a
(28:11):
course has been in acatastrophic, so I will
situation. And as far as I know,since Of course, nobody has been
on a catastrophic survivalsituation. I wonder what happens
to people when they they getthere? If they are the excuse,
(28:35):
type people, does that just goout of the window? Do they
because certain amount of peopleprovably documented cases have
sat essentially sat down anddied? Yeah, a particular
aircraft landed is either inGreenland or Iceland. I can't
remember. He was a he was an AirForce pilot. He crashed landed.
(29:03):
People knew where he was goingto be roughly. He had thermal
suit, as will be the case. Allthe equipment he needed and what
what they found him in no timeat all. He walked out a
kilometre round in a circle,come back to his plane and they
(29:25):
found him with his servicerevival rover in his hand. And
he ran outwhat's up me one second man, my
dogs barking outside. I'll beback.
Yeah, that kind of sorry. Is itsuper unfortunate and there are
there are many instances whereyou say this. This is super
(29:49):
unfortunate that people havethat mindset. And I don't know
whether or not that say Did hehave the IE B have that sort of
excuse mentality? Or did youjust have the sort of account?
Was it I can't do it? Or isthere no hope? What? If we take
(30:14):
these people that are excuseoriented? and stick them in a
survival situation? Just do theyinstantly change to imagine what
Well, yeah, imagine not man. Imean, based on that story, I
would, everyone's obviouslydifferent. Some people have the
strength to keep going thatinternal drive and other people
(30:36):
have excuses, man. Um, yeah,like I said earlier, I think
it's possible for everyone toget there. But does that mean
everyone does? I don't know.
Obviously not. No. And that'sthere's something else we were
talking about in pre thing wassomething after after I'd had my
stroke. A little while later,probably a year, or 18 months, I
(31:00):
took on a personal trainer whohappened to live behind my
house. And I had said to himvery directly, because he'd
asked about my agility anddexterity stereotyping, I should
say. I said, Yeah, this is whatI've got. And I'm happy with
(31:25):
this. Yeah, it's like that. If,if this is what it is, or
wherever, then I'm happy withthat. And he said, No, I say
I've got haven't necessarily gota solution. But we're going to
try some things. And he gave methat they waited clubs, like
(31:49):
bowling pins.
Yeah. Yeah. Whatever called Iknow what they are to. Yeah, I
know what you're talking about.
And he had me doing a clubcalled a club bell.
Is that right? Yep. Yeah, we'rereally, really weird. But yeah,
(32:09):
just just give me this n, n, nout and forwards and backwards.
And in and out. It was a coupleof weeks only, that I found that
neurologically the change in myentire arm. And the other one,
(32:32):
obviously, was extensive. And Iactually beat myself up to a
certain extent, because I'daccepted. I don't want to say it
was defeat, but it was in alevel where things could go, it
(32:53):
was okay. Now you'recomfortable. And I remember it
reminded me of the time with theinsurance walk, where I'd got
two thirds of the way throughand didn't carry on. Sorry, I
did carry on I but I hadn't withthis arm thing. And I compared
them, and it's like, you shouldhave just carried on. And I
(33:14):
think I think it's probablybecause I didn't understand that
they was a few. There was no, Ididn't understand that there
were exercises that I couldwrite on. But did I did I give
up? Is that giving up? BecauseI was getting comfortable?
That's just getting comfortable?
(33:35):
You know, I don't think that'sgiven up. Yeah. I think getting
comfortable man. And we all do.
And it's a good thing. We havethat right. It's a good thing
that to an extent we have that.
So that had that been the baselevel. And you couldn't have
gotten past that, let's say forinstance, a full paralysis of
the lower body, right? It's goodthing that we have that
(33:56):
mechanism to go, Okay, I canaccept this. This is good
enough, because in some caseslike that, you'll never get your
lower body back. Right. Yeah. Soit's great that we have a
mechanism in our mind to acceptit. But it's also good to
understand that in most cases,with the exception of you know,
those catastrophic things likeagain, full paralysis, in most
cases there is there is a higherground, there is a better level.
(34:18):
So, yeah, so it's good bothways. It's just good to be aware
of it, though.
Yeah. I like to say it's, it's ait becomes a bit I think if if
people certainly say strokevictims, just keep trying to go
and go and go, and things don'timprove. That could probably
(34:41):
become quite depressing. Butcould be absolutely, yeah. And
so. Yeah,good thing that you kind of went
into it with the acceptance. Andyeah, it's very fortunate that
you were able to gain from thatand get better. But I think
yeah, I think that acceptance toa certain point is beneficial.
Yeah, the mental health.
(35:03):
Yeah, I agree.
It's you got to catch yourselfthough it's a matter of if you
will find yourself in your mindwishing more being okay with it,
but still find yourself wishingfor more. I think you got to
follow that man. I think ifthere's a wish you got to fight
for it, man.
Yeah, I agree. I agree.
Absolutely. Um, how? How to try,I think. I don't know, I've been
(35:29):
through some stuff. I think I,I've got that because I think
it's a very small window. of,there's something I can go for.
And there's an excuse that givesme permission. Absolutely. To
stay still, or simply fail atthe task that I'm trying to
(35:50):
achieve. I've on a I can'tremember you on the one phone.
Oh, away. Yeah. I thought I'dsay sales sort of 30 Day
Challenge. And I got I got aweek behind. Oh, it's
(36:13):
a nightmare. They tell you theytell you in the beginning that
it's like two hours a day. Andthen you realise that two hours
a day is just watching thevideos. Yeah. You have to put in
as you're putting it through forfour hours minimum a day.
Yeah. And you get to week three,and it's like, holy shit. Yeah.
How am I supposed to do that? Aeight hours a day job? Right?
(36:37):
And eat? Yeah.
Maybe man, but I got a wife andkids. You know, I got to keep up
around the house and do dishesand laundry. And I got other
things to do. Man, that was atough challenge. Supercenter?
Did you? Did you get through it?
Or I'm in my own way, I didn'tcomplete it as they want me to
No,no, no, no, did I what I've not
done, because I watched myselfget far behind. When you see
(37:03):
once he got to two days, andthree days, it was ultimately a
week. But it was two days andthree days, I could have said on
our calendar. I do see thenumbers because you can see the
numbers of people in theconsultation calls. And the
number of people contributingthis massive drop off as as the
(37:25):
challenge progresses. And I wasreally I was disappointed in
them if you like and I don'tknow, though, that that that
actually happened people withsuch drive at the beginning just
disappeared.
(37:48):
Now. I get it though I did itand I didn't you know, it was I
could go into detail on it. Butum, there it was, like you said
it was tough. I mean, if youdon't have that time and you
have other obligations. Thereare times when it's it's a
matter again of prioritising doI do the one funnel away
challenge or do I make my wifehappy? times I gotta do I gotta
(38:13):
keep her happy, man. So therewere days, I just could not I
couldn't sit down and spend thesix, seven hours it took to
catch up. Soyeah, no, absolutely. You know,
I ever go ahead and open.
I've put myself in a positionnow, where I've said, I accepted
that was getting behind, didn'tstop just carried on. And I'm
(38:34):
just doing it again. There yougo. Yeah, I saved every
head. Now. I'm gonna be aheadprobably two weeks. And I can
start week three, again, but wehold on. I mean, this particular
challenge is a MarketingChallenge. And you have 30 days
(38:57):
to do it. And at the end of it,it all disappears. That's the I
was just explaining what the,the National challenge was. It's
like you start and the end allof the material disappears.
Right? It was was quite, I wasconcerned about that. But at
least it get Dave didn't give methe excuse to, I'll just wait.
(39:20):
Because I'll be able to do it inmy own time. And that's what
they said at the beginning. It'slike, you have to have it.
Recently, I've announced that myproduct will launch on the 14th
of December. And I've got somework to do. And I think it's the
(39:42):
only way I'm going to definitelyget it all done.
Right. You got to know thatsomething Hang in there. And
it's it's,it's gonna, it's happening.
Yeah, I'm going to do it and I'mgoing to complete it and I think
it I think I needed that. Inorder to do that it was
(40:02):
priorities.
Yeah, you gotta set Yeah, yougot a credit, man. And when you
like you swipe we talked aboutearlier, when you have other
people that depend on you. Itchanges it changes your level of
self accountability when there'sother there's other people
involved, man.
Yeah, we find this, again, insurvival courses. Traditional
(40:29):
survival courses, the way theysold is that a course exists.
And some people go to it. It'snot like, the way I've done
courses in the past is youaccompany says, here we go.
We've got 20 people, it might bethe military. Here's 20. People
(40:50):
don't teach them. They all knoweach other. Or it might be a
team building thing. Okay. Butgenerally speaking, they'll say,
here's a course on this date,you can buy a place on it. And
so you have random people whodon't know each other and okay.
You You may be split them intofours, so you can have a nice
(41:12):
big shelter. Because everybodyin one shelter with one fire
eat, it's actually quite arduousto get everybody to do the work.
But yeah, four people in ashelter, and they really, really
have to work. And they becomeaccountable to each other. And
(41:37):
as soon as somebody is not, thenit the group dynamic goes to
hell.
That's a man. You know, that'sthe key to the military, the
military trains is that like,one person can screw the whole
group up. So yeah, and then whenyou have, you know, 10 1520
other people around you pissedoff because you messed
(41:58):
everything up, man. Yeah, thatwould be Ryan, that'll get you
to go.
But then as as well I've, I knowit's off track. But I've, I've
seen it's not the mentalstability as such, but the
attachment that somebody canhave to a stick. Once you've
found your favourite stick, itmight be a pokey stick, or
(42:23):
something for putting, like,like hanging something over the
fire when it's the perfectshape, and the perfect hardness.
And if people leave their sticknear the bay bed, for instance,
if somebody burns that stick intheir shelter. I've seen people
(42:43):
not talk to each other for aday. Man, that's crazy. They
have this so it's just a stick.
No, it was my serious business.
You know what when woodlandfilled it full of sticks, we
guess but that was special. Iwas your mistake. I the guy. And
(43:06):
he he's, he's one of the fewpeople I think I've shouted at
with that sort of, are yougetting joking level of
shouting? It said we're in thewoodlands. Lighting fires. And
he can't light the fire. Iillustrate what why it's wrong.
(43:29):
This Aren't you hadn't got theprogression of this. You're
trying to basically light a treewith some grass. There's the
need that in between you thingis that Off you go. That's don't
get some wood. That's this bigthis big in this big. Yeah. And
(43:53):
he goes you've got an echo. Hejust moved in a
microphone. I did. Yeah. Mymicrophone fell.
That's okay. Yep. So fine now sofine. Okay. Yeah. And so I sent
it off. And he came back. And hesaid, there's no wood. I'm
(44:17):
sorry. There's what? There's nowood. And they say we're in a
woodland. And he's saying, Areyou kidding? joking, right?
Well, what did you go throughwhat is going on in his head?
(44:40):
He's he just so is he down thatthis is this is this is causing
a problem? Or was he the guythat just found an excuse? It
was just a very, very bad choiceof excuse,
right? That's bad. By gettingback to the one I said, you got
(45:01):
to get in shape to get in shape.
Right?
And you got to clean the housebefore the cleaning lady.
Yeah, you're in the middle ofthe woods. But there's no wood
right? Yeah, that's good.
Yeah. So what if we discovered?
I think I certainly agree withyou that the ability to have
(45:22):
that conversation within you,where you can stop being the
excuse guy is possible ineverybody. And I think it's
quite possibly a learned skill.
(45:44):
It is it's, it's not somethingthat is not taught to kids, you
know, in general in generaleducation? Because it is, it's a
secret Really?
Yeah, I'm not entirely sure howone would teach that to
(46:04):
children. But that's possibly inletting them know that it's
possible. And, you know, we kindof, you know, I don't know about
your neck of the woods, but Ican say that in the United
States over the last, you know,I've watched in my entire life
over the last 2030 years, 20years, specifically, the, you
know, everyone gets a trophy,that kind of culture. What's the
(46:25):
real deal?
It's more prevalent in thestate, certainly the pub
trophies. So know.
If we have kids here, they'reteaching kids here that you
don't have to try it. You don'thave to be you don't have to get
better that you're fine. Beingmediocre, you're fine being less
(46:48):
than average, which I I amthoroughly against. I don't
think you need to pressure aperson and make them feel bad,
but I think you need to makethem aware of what they're truly
capable of. Maybe you can lookat, there's different people in
the world. There's people thatwere that are been born with no
art. Give me a secondchance. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So,
participation trophies,but there are people in this
(47:13):
world that were literally bornwith no arms and no legs and who
have went on to becomemultimillionaires, who have an
incredible impact on the world.
Yep. If there's anybody that hasan excuse, that's the person but
if they can do that, we need tolet the rest we need to be
letting kids know, and drivinginto their psyche that they are
(47:33):
capable of much more than Yeah,whatever level they're at.
Yeah. And also it's okay to benot good at something. Because
people are good at something.
And not good.
Man, find your passion, findwhat you'd naturally love to do.
(47:53):
And then on that 100% that's howmasters are made man.
Yeah, I absolutely agree. You'resaying about disability? the
Paralympics is almost a betterwatch for me. Then. Able Bali
(48:15):
able bodied Olympics. They it'sobviously a massive effort to
swim at that speed. Right? If nolegs or manoeuvre around even a
basketball court. And it's justbut everybody's trying trying
(48:40):
trying trying and if you had noif you had an excuse problem is
sit at home watch Netflix. Therewill be two things I remember
there was a programme and Ithink it was the UK based well I
mean it was produced in the UKwhere they took a number of
(49:04):
people into long the Amazon andin rain forest on an expedition
who all had different levels ofI think the the levels and
that's this the different typesof disability might be
wheelchair bound there mighthave no arms or whatever
(49:28):
relevant and there was a guythat was deaf. And he was the
one complaining most our can'tdo this. I can't do and this guy
I think he said literally. Whatdo you fucking complaining
(49:48):
about? I've only got one leg,right? Yeah,
yeah. And again, it is excuseexcuse. It exists Throughout,
I'm trying to not repeat thesame thing. But to come back to
(50:09):
where I was before goingsideways again, yes, I believe
we can all do it. And we and itpossibly is a fine line at that
epiphany moment where you couldhave made that excuse or seen
that and carried on and that,that when might just be enough
(50:32):
to continue on that passiverealisation that that excuse
would have just given you afailure, which is nobody, nobody
wants to fail. Do you have anyother things you want to raise
(50:54):
on that?
Yeah, just kind of, you know, asyou said, like, kind of what
value what have we learnedtoday? I think I would say maybe
being made aware of thepossibilities is a key to most
people. A lot of people that useexcuses simply don't believe
that anything was possible. Youknow, that's one of the hardest
(51:14):
parts is getting thatbreakthrough to happen. Because
again, like we discussed before,that break that we usually the
biggest breakthroughs happenwhen you're at the lowest point
in life, you're either you'redown, like you had a stroke and
and now what I have, now you areforced to do something, you're
forced to find that innerstrength, loss of a loved one,
you know, my wife and I, oursecond child was stillborn. We
(51:38):
knew about it ahead of time.
Still heartbreaking. And Iremember the day I'll see our
short story that day, the day atthe hospital, I remember, like,
walking through the parking lot,head down, sad, and a car pulled
in, and was like revving theirengine at me because I was in
their way. And in that moment, Ithought, instead of being mad at
them, like, you know, if youtreat me like that, look what
(52:00):
I'm going through, I realised inthat moment that I've been that
person. I've done that topeople. And I will never do that
again. Because how do I know?
You know, so it was like it wasin that moment of dark of
darkness that I had one of thebest lessons in life, you know,
and I think to this day, whenpeople say, Oh, I'm sorry to
hear that I say, there's no needto be sorry about it. It
(52:23):
happened, it is what it is. Butit was I learned more about
myself and I grew more as a manin that process than any other
time in my life. And that's whenthe breakthroughs are made.
Yeah. And so let's say, Get getput yourself in an uncomfortable
situation. And you'll learnsomething, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And as, as we said, previouslyseen as well, those people who
(52:47):
have lost everything,financially, say, I had I had a
business go under. And that wasjust bankruptcy. I had nothing.
Right beside. For, for me comingback from that was a big lesson
(53:08):
and a great deal of theentrepreneurs that we hear
about. Have any with your pointthat you raise is that they had
been x their lowest ebb. Yep.
And, like, right, off we go.
(53:28):
That's it, man. Yeah,you got to put yourself in
comfortable situations. today. Iposted right before this
interview. I said, I'm nervous.
I'm anxious. But it's it's inthese uncomfortable situations
that we grow the most. And sowe've got to learn, we got to
learn and we got to help teachothers to embrace that to
embrace the discomfort in ourlives and quit. Quit trying so
(53:50):
hard to be comfortable, man.
It's easy to be comfortable.
Absolutely. I completely agree.
Absolutely. Troy, it's been anabsolute pleasure.
Likewise, man, likewise.
Thank you. Thank you for coming.
And yeah, this will be availableon YouTube. At some point it
will be saying on Facebook forforever. And, yeah, no doubt.
(54:11):
We'll speak again in a fewhours.
This was a good time. Iappreciate it. Thanks for the
opportunity.
Great times. Thank you verymuch. Cheers. Bye.
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