February 3, 2025 • 34 mins
Welcome back to another episode of Cryptid Cocktail Party! This week, we’re diving deep—literally—into one of the strangest underwater encounters ever reported. In the murky depths of Russia’s Lake Baikal, the deepest freshwater lake on Earth, Soviet military divers allegedly came face-to-face with something they were never meant to see: massive, humanoid creatures in silvery suits, gliding effortlessly through the frigid water.
What did these "swimmers" want? Were they extraterrestrial visitors, unknown aquatic beings, or just the product of a high-pressure hallucination? And what really happened to the Soviet divers who tried to capture one?
So grab a drink, keep your oxygen levels steady, and join us as we unravel the chilling mystery of the Lake Baikal Swimmers!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hey, everybody.
(00:25):
Welcome back to another episode of Crypto Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few
drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown.
I'm your host, Dave, joined as always by my handsome as hell co-host, Sarge.
How's it going, buddy?
Hey there.
Woo.
Let's do this.
I'm surprised you had a woo in you.
I know you're not feeling well.
I did have a woo in me.
That's all right.
I'm going to I'm energized by cryptids inside me.
(00:49):
Well, that's unfortunate because this is not about cryptids.
Actually, maybe it is.
I don't want to spoil it.
We'll get into it.
But anyways, how are you doing, bud?
Not too bad.
Just enjoying the lovely weather in New England and grateful that planes aren't falling in
my neighborhood as they were in yours.
Bro, I.
That video was wild.
Yeah, all the videos are wild.
(01:10):
Also, it's a super tragic story.
I don't know if you heard like the actual horrible.
It's absolutely horrible.
Like, I'm not I'm not trying to like shit on it.
No, no.
Watch the video.
But it's in the plane fell out of the sky.
And that's what blew my mind.
It's wild because like so I was driving.
It happened to probably like five minutes before I got onto the highway, because as
(01:31):
I was going down 95 south to head home, 95 north was just all emergency vehicles like
they were fucking gunning down.
And I was like, what the fuck is going on here?
And I get home whenever I see something like that.
When I parked my car, I'll Google like Philadelphia breaking news just to see what's going on.
I was I was not expecting a fucking plane to crash on Roosevelt Boulevard like that
(01:54):
is bananas.
Yeah, it's so wild.
It's such a rare occurrence for a plane to just like lawn dart into somebody's neighborhood.
That's fucking awful.
And it's even worse because it was like a bunch of kids.
Right.
So it was a the it was a medical transport.
It was a child from Mexico flew to Shriners to get like surgery, like some sort of operation
(02:17):
or something done.
Oh, got it.
Got it.
OK.
And it was like the kid and the family members like the mom and stuff like that flying back.
Oh, to Mexico after getting treatment and they fucking crash.
But the worst part about it, I mean, that's pretty fucking fucked up, is that literally
within hours, I went on Twitter for some fucking reason.
I don't know why I need to stop doing it.
(02:40):
Already conspiracy theories.
And it's like, of course, of course, flash in the sky.
What is what that explosion doesn't look like.
How a plane explodes like what the dude you don't fucking know.
Like get out of here.
Like how often do you see planes explode?
You fucking idiots.
So someone was like, why is there no debris?
And then they sound like it took five minutes, five seconds for me to find a picture of debris.
(03:00):
They're like, well, why is there no soot on it?
And they're like, well, because fuel when it burns doesn't create soot.
That's not how you know.
And also it was falling from the sky like.
Yeah.
And it exploded fast enough probably that it jettisoned quite a bit of that debris before
it all caught fire.
Yeah.
Also, I hate like I love conspiracies, but these ones are not fun and everyone needs
(03:23):
to fucking just take a minute and think critical thinking skills are not people.
Yeah, it's all dumb, but I will say it's a bad time to be flying because I guess this
is like within the past month, this is like the fourth or fifth plane crash, like a fucking
F16 fell out of the sky in Alaska or some shit like that.
Yeah, it's really bad.
(03:43):
Really bad timing right now.
It's only going to get better.
And yeah, and yeah, I'm not even going to touch on the political implications.
It's just fucking awful that so many of these horrible accidents have happened.
And my you know, my first concern was like, oh shit, did this land on Dave?
No, it was in northeast Philly.
(04:03):
I reached out to you so quickly.
Yeah, no, luckily I wasn't anywhere near it.
I just would do it was sirens all night.
Like it was wild.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
No doubt.
Like that doesn't happen in Philly.
The worst we get is people climbing up greased poles and then falling and dying.
Like that's what happens in Philly.
You know what I mean?
(04:24):
I mean, I worry because there's an airport right near my house and there's little there's
small planes that are always flying overhead.
And then there's Gillette Stadium not too far from me.
So there's always helicopters go into the stadium because Bob Kraft doesn't drive apparently.
First of all, if I was Bob Kraft, I wouldn't either.
Like if I was Bob, no, I wouldn't either.
(04:46):
The traffic on 95 is a disaster across the nation.
So across the East Coast.
So I don't blame him, but his helicopter always flies over my house.
And I'm always like, Jesus Christ, those things, they literally just fall out of the sky.
So I don't want that to happen in my backyard.
I've seen black Hawk down.
It just happens sometimes.
(05:10):
Well I believe Rockets were involved in that situation, but whatever.
On a lighter note, I went to the eye doctor.
This is real quick for the first, I was the eye doctor for the first time in like 20 years
and nice.
Everything was going good.
And they did the thing like the one or two, three or four, like that whole thing.
(05:32):
And at the end of it, she goes, you are like right on the cusp of not being allowed to
drive legally without glasses.
So once Mike, within a few weeks, you'll, you'll have a new, a new Dave look, which
will be glasses and a nice, yeah, it'll be, it'll be, you know, just a fresh new look
(05:56):
but the same great taste Dave that you've always come to the old man club, but I got,
I got horn room glasses because okay, I thought those were fancy.
Uh, all right, Sarge, today's episode.
There's a lot of talk going around about a certain country overseas that may have meddled
in our elections.
You know, you know, the one I'm talking about, uh, France, Germany, England, Russia, North
(06:22):
Korea, Iran, Russia.
Okay.
Today's arch, we are going to be heading to the motherland, the motherland, the mother.
I had nothing prepared to say over that.
I just thought it was fun to play the cannibalism capital of the world.
No.
So we're going to be heading to Russia to talk about, I don't know if they're aliens
(06:47):
or crypto.
I don't really know what they are or it could just be some Russians really zooted out on,
on crocodile.
It could be, but we're going to make a lake bike hall.
Are you familiar with lake bike hall?
I am not.
I have not had the pleasure.
Okay.
So I'm located in southeastern Siberia.
That's a pleasure.
(07:10):
I don't know why that got me.
Maybe one day.
So, uh, before we real quick, uh, today's episode is, this is a topic that I, I touched
on briefly like two years ago.
Um, it probably like in like the fourth episode I ever did, we, I did like a small little
brief breakdown of it and I promised that I was going to do a full episode on it.
(07:32):
So now we're going to, so anyways, we're going to lake bike hall.
It is located in southeastern Siberia near the Mongolian border.
Oh, now the thing about lake bike hall is that it's not just the deepest lake.
It's also one of the oldest with a history spanning over 25 million years, holding nearly
a quarter of the earth's fresh water.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
(07:53):
It's, it's the world's deepest and oldest lake.
See now I want to go to it.
This makes me actually like before I was kidding, but now I do kind of want to see it.
It's pretty sick.
It plunges to depths of over 5,000 feet and harbors numerous unique species that are found
nowhere else in the world.
It's pretty much like the Russian version of like Galapagos, if that makes sense.
How there's only this specific species.
Yeah.
(08:14):
Yeah.
Uh, some of these creatures include the bike hall Nerpa seal.
It's the only freshwater seal species in the world and it remains a biological mystery.
Like no one knows even know how they fucking got there.
Because Siberia is pretty landlocked.
It's in the middle of fucking note.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, Russia is kind of famously doesn't have many ports.
(08:35):
Yeah.
Uh, uh, the lake is also home to, uh, the bizarre go, go llama, go llama, Yonka fish.
I think I pronounced that right.
I don't know.
Uh, it's, it's a nightmare.
It's a, it's a translucent translucent scaleless species composed mostly of fat.
Uh, and there's also the legendary bike hall sturgeon, which grows to enormous sizes.
(08:59):
Uh, I was like, one of those things where like, it's been untouched by humanity and
it's so big.
It's like a goldfish basically.
The sturgeons just grow to it.
It doesn't have any predators and it's in a giant lake.
Yeah.
Uh, and this may also have, uh, inspired local myths of lake monsters.
But anyways, beyond like the ecological significance lake bike hall has, has long been the epicenter
(09:21):
of eerie unexplainable phenomena, strange lights in the sky, unidentified submerged
objects, usos if you're nasty and rumors of hidden extraterrestrial bases underneath
its frigid waters have made it a hotspot for conspiracy theorists and UFO enthusiasts.
So like, uh, some locals even speak of the sued con a so-called quote unquote water dragon
(09:43):
master said to lurk in the depths is basically they described it as a sturgeon with a.
Uh, like a, like a crocodile mouth and like an armored plate on it, but it could just
be because I prefer water dragon master.
I think has the best name for it.
That's what it like.
I think that's what that translates to.
I don't know why I wrote a so-called it's just, that's such a great name.
(10:06):
Yeah.
It's just a, it's just a big old fish.
Um, but you know, uh, but one of the most baffling encounters again, cause I don't know
how to really just like say what it is to come at a lake bike hall.
It's not just big fish.
Uh, it's a story that sounds like something out of like a science fiction horror film.
(10:27):
And then it is the encounter between Soviet military divers and the lake bike hall swimmers.
Are you familiar at all?
I'm going to assume no.
Yes.
Don't know about actually, no, I am familiar with this and I absolutely fell in love with
this story.
So I'm glad you're covering it because there's no way I would have remembered lake bike hall
(10:49):
as we can tell.
Yeah.
But I remember reading about the story and being fascinated with it.
Yeah.
So the story goes that in 1982 during the height of the cold war, the Soviet military
was conducting routine training exercises in the lake.
Now the divers were accustomed to tough conditions as I feel like most Russians usually are.
Cause I, yeah, they're not a hospitable country for sure.
(11:12):
Like they just waking up is a miracle.
Yeah.
And I feel like their military is, I'm not going to say better than ours, but they're
definitely tougher.
I feel like in a sense, they're tougher because their greatest weapon is the winter time.
That is how they'd repelled Napoleon and Hitler.
Yeah.
It's basically like they can fight anywhere at all times and they do not give a fuck.
(11:34):
They're also just fucking all fucked up on crocodile and vodka.
Like they're like super sold.
The winter soldier is a, is Russian.
When you're resourceful enough to turn potatoes into alcohol, you can accomplish great things.
I'll agree with that.
Yeah.
So they're, they're, they're accustomed to tough conditions, freezing water, complete
darkness and again, like the lake, the lake is so deep that if anyone was on train that
(11:58):
was going to dive into it, they'd be crushed in seconds.
If they were, you know what I mean?
Like if they weren't like prepared or like acclimated to it as a, as somebody who is
an aficionado of diving disaster videos, I can, there's something wrong with me, honestly,
because every time I talk about one of my interests, it's like, so this is another way
(12:18):
you can die.
Well, once you say it out loud is when you're like, wow, this is, yeah, that's when you're
like, oh, I do have some sick fucking interests.
But yeah, you have to have special, special tanks because you, you have to raise levels
of other gases in order to not get nitrogen.
You don't get the back.
(12:39):
Intoxication.
Well, not only that, but if you don't, if you have too much nitrogen, you actually almost
get drunk and then you, you do shit, like take your rebreather out of your mouth and
try to breathe water.
So it just.
So what you're saying is that I shouldn't do a bunch of whippets and then just go deep
sea diving.
Exactly.
(13:00):
Yeah.
You should avoid that.
You should avoid it.
You should avoid Valentine's day plans.
And honestly, the worst thing about diving is that everybody's body is different.
So what, what might mess you up, may not mess me up.
That's not true.
God made us all in his image.
We were all, God doesn't make mistakes.
(13:21):
Exactly.
God don't make mistakes.
Except for llamas.
That was a mistake.
Whoa.
All right.
We'll touch back on that later on.
Okay, the platypus though, we can all agree was an error.
Yeah.
That was a nightmare.
Or you're just having fun.
You just have fun with it.
But anyways, but it's a duck beaver.
It's fine.
But even though the Russians are very tough, I'm sure their bootcamp is bananas.
(13:43):
It's like, oh yeah, like nothing straight up torture.
Yeah.
Like nothing in their training could have prepared them for what was about to happen
to them.
So at a depth of about 164 feet, one of the divers noticed something moving in the distance.
At first he assumed it was a large fish, perhaps one of the fucking giant sturgeons.
I don't know.
(14:04):
But, but as the shape became clear, he realized it was something way worse.
It was humanoid.
It was humanoid nature.
Now before he could react, more of them emerged from the gloom, not just one, but several
swimming with impossible speed and grace, their long limbs cutting effortlessly through
(14:24):
the icy depths.
Okay.
I was going to say maybe it's just Vladimir Putin going for a swim.
No, but that tracks, it was more of them.
There's more than one.
Now the diver obviously kind of like fuck is going on.
He signaled to his comrades and they all turned to witness what can only be described as like
(14:45):
the impossible.
Now what they saw there was it was were towering 10 foot tall beings wearing metallic silver
body suits.
Their faces obscured by clear domed helmets.
There was no oxygen tanks, no visible breathing apparatus, just cold alien precision in their
movements.
(15:05):
For a moment, both sides simply just stared at each other.
The divers were frozen in fear and shock.
The humanoid seemingly just unbothered by the presence of heavily armed Soviet militia.
They were just whatever.
Then without warning, the beings turned and darted deeper into the lake, vanishing into
the abyss.
(15:25):
Now at this point they're like, we need to tell the top brass, we need to get out of
here and let someone know what's going on.
So when the shaken divers finally surfaced, they were immediately debriefed by their commanding
officer.
Now, given the bizarre nature of what they reported, their superiors, they faced a dilemma.
Was this like an elaborate hoax where these guys who went into the water like, it's too
(15:49):
cold, it's too dark, we don't want to do this anymore.
So they made up a story.
Was it a shared hallucination?
Maybe what you said, maybe they had too much nitrogen or whatever in their blood and they
were fucking hammered.
And they were like, you see all this shit?
Maybe it was one of the seals.
Yuri, level with me.
Were you drinking vodka before you went in the water?
Well, I'm not going to lie.
(16:10):
I know you're doing a bit, but I feel like that's probably custom.
Like I feel like.
Yeah, probably.
Now that I say that out loud, that is more than likely just a normal state of being.
Yeah, like you may not return.
Have a shot.
I will miss you if you die, but I will take all of your vodka.
And your wives and bears.
(16:31):
Yeah.
That line from Rocky IV, if he dies, he dies.
That's just like a common saying in Russia.
Yeah, that's like, it's like how, what is, was Aloha means hello and goodbye or something
like that.
That's actually how they say hello and goodbye.
If you die, you die.
(16:53):
Real quick.
I don't know why, but whenever I talk at a Russian accent, the two things I like to say
the most are baseballs and the American blue jeans.
I don't know.
I don't know what's popular exports during Soviet era Russia.
Yeah.
Just did you bring us miss balls or what about the American blue jeans, American blue jeans,
(17:17):
Livy's?
Come on.
We're offending every Russian that has ever been a part of this show.
I don't care.
American blue jeans is the funniest thing to say in Russian.
It's so good.
You'll go to Gulag for winning American blue jeans.
(17:40):
Soviet denim much more.
Soviet denim is just regular denim wrapped in barbed wire.
Let's stop shitting on maybe a potential listening base here.
Are we at war?
No, no, they're at war with somebody else.
I forgot.
Not yet.
All right.
(18:00):
Where was I?
Oh yeah.
So it was either an elaborate hoax, a shared hallucination, or maybe they just encountered
something not of this world.
So rather than dismiss the claims, military officials decided to take action.
Russian divers were ordered to return to the depths of the new objective.
That is capture one of these human humanoid beings alive if possible.
(18:21):
There is nothing more human than, oh shit, that's weird and scary.
Let's capture it.
At least this time I will give to the Russians.
They said alive if possible.
Most, if it was America, they would in America, they would first we'll figure it out.
Yeah.
That's exactly how we would do it here.
So props to them for at least that.
Now descending back into the lake, the team moved with caution.
(18:45):
Their oxygen tanks hissed in the silent frigid water.
The deeper they went, the more their surroundings faded into darkness.
Then see I had to burp.
Nothing burps like Narragansett.
Then as if waiting for them, the humanoids reappeared.
This time the divers had a plan, a concept of a plan.
It was very Looney Tunes.
(19:07):
This is a very Looney Tunes plan.
They brought an anvil and a giant rocket with them.
We'll figure it out when we get down there.
Kind of American cartoons.
They show us how to.
No, no, it was a Looney Tunes.
Comical mousetrap.
Bugs Bunny.
Road runner.
Like Coyote.
We tried to get him to defect, but find out he's not real.
(19:32):
We bought these from Acme Co.
It's not that far off.
So one of them carried a large net.
Oh God.
Yes.
Of course.
It's not cutting edge military technology, but given the circumstances, it was apparently
was their best option.
Industrial size butterfly net.
(19:53):
You just got it on a long stick.
I'll get you alien.
With military precision, the group moved in, but the moment they attempted to ensnare one
of the creatures, the atmosphere in the water, I guess the air, I was going to say the air,
but the water shifted.
Right.
Now the humanoids once seemingly indifferent from the first time they saw them now reacted
(20:16):
with force.
Now without touching them, without making a sound, the beings unleashed an invisible
wave of energy, a high intensity sonar blast.
Once these, once the soldiers were hit, the effects were immediate.
The divers convulsed as a shockwave tore through their bodies, their vision blurred, their
muscles locked up, then as if yanked by unseen forces, they were flung upward towards the
(20:38):
surface at an uncontrollable speed.
Now for those of you unfamiliar with deep water diving, rapid ascent from such depths
is catastrophic to your body.
Like yeah, yeah.
The sudden decompression caused by being forcefully expelled from the water can lead to what is
commonly known as the bends.
It literally makes your blood boil.
(21:00):
Yeah, this occurs when nitrogen bubbles form in the bloodstream due to a rapid change in
pressure leading to excruciating pain, paralysis, and in severe cases, death.
Now in this case, the results were tragic.
Three of the divers sustained injuries, but managed to avoid the worst effects of decompression
sickness.
However, four of them suffered extreme cases and needed immediate medical attention.
(21:25):
Luckily there was a recompression chamber in the region, but it was only designed to accommodate
two people at a time.
So faced with an impossible decision and desperate to save their comrades, the medical team attempted
to treat all four divers at once.
This proved to be a fatal mistake.
Three of the men succumbed to their injuries while the sole survivor suffered lasting physical
(21:46):
and psychological trauma.
How are we feeling so far, Sarge?
I mean, this just reconfirms that I don't want to swim underwater.
Ever again?
Especially in Russia.
Yeah.
Well, it doesn't know like I'll go into water like, you know, a couple of feet in a swimming
pool, but I'm not diving anywhere.
(22:07):
Oh, no, I'll know.
Unless like if I can't see this, if I can't see the bottom or see the surface, I'm good.
Yeah, I'm done.
I don't need thanks.
I don't need that shit.
Well, like I read about re like decompression when you're coming up and you have to wait
and sometimes they have to wait for fucking hours in the middle of the ocean on a rope.
(22:27):
Like fuck that.
You know, bored you'd be.
Yeah, I also found that I don't know how true this is.
I was watching the show Silo.
I don't know if you ever watched it.
10 out of 10.
Highly recommend it.
If you have Apple TV, my guy, one of the best shows I've ever seen in a long time.
But if you started to get the bends as you're coming up, if you just go back down and chill
(22:49):
for a minute, like you said, like it kind of like repurposes everything.
I guess.
Okay.
But hey, that's useful advice, maybe from a TV show.
Well, yeah, I mean the whole decompression, like the chambers that they have to put them
in, it's essentially doing that.
It's just re exerting the pressure on their bodies so that they don't die too quickly.
(23:11):
Yeah.
It like slows everything down so that they can actually survive.
So they can die slower.
Got it.
All right, cool.
It's actually that's a, I don't know if any of you, I'm not going to talk about it now,
but look up the bifur dolphin incident.
That's actually pretty fascinating.
Catastrophic recompression.
What did someone write a dolphin down to the depths and then fucking die?
(23:34):
No, it's like a diving bell and they brought it up to the surface and then somebody just
decided to open the door like a fucking idiot and everybody inside got basically liquefied.
Fuck yeah.
That's I mean, look it up.
It's crazy.
It's a crazy story.
I said, fuck yeah.
Like I was like, like that's tragic, but at the same time, like that's metal as fuck,
(23:57):
dude.
Like, yeah, well yeah, it's, it's pretty goddamn metal for sure, but it's also horrible death.
Yeah.
No, no.
Following this catastrophic incident, Soviet authorities reportedly shut down any further
missions to engage or capture unidentified submerged objects in Lake Baikal and any official
(24:17):
documentation and any official documentation of the event was classified at the highest
levels and those involved were sworn to secrecy.
Now one of the few public available sources, and this is true, is a 2009 Russia Today report,
RT, which briefly mentioned the encounter in the context of Soviet UFO phenomenon.
(24:41):
Really?
And a Fox News article later expanded on the story revealing that quote, military divers
encountered a group of humanoid creatures dressed in silvery suits at a depth of 160
feet, end quote.
And according to the report, the divers attempted to capture one of the beings resulting in
a violent response that led to the deaths of three crew members during the encounter.
(25:05):
This is a real Fox News article that you can look up and they actually reported on it.
Now, I mean that almost kind of reduces the legitimacy of the story for me.
The fact that they're reporting on an RT, which is a Russian state propaganda outlet,
or which one?
No, just the fact that Fox News got involved in any story, because I'm just trying to figure
(25:30):
out how they managed to blame that on DEI.
This is what happens when you include aliens in things.
Well, if the aliens were illegal, they didn't go through the proper channels to be in that
lake.
You know they didn't.
That's true.
They didn't have their intergalactic passport.
They must be here in one of them H1B visas.
(25:54):
No, whatever the truth may be, one thing is certain.
And that is that Lake Baikal remains one of the most enigmatic and mysterious places on
earth and perhaps lurking in its frigid depths, the answer to one of humanity's greatest questions,
are we alone?
Awaits discovery.
That is the story of the Baikal swimmers.
(26:15):
It wasn't like a crazy story.
I just thought it was a story that's not very well known.
I think it's an amazing story.
That's really fascinating.
I didn't know that RT had reported on it.
I had read it on some, you know.
Yeah.
Well, so the RT act, like their report, like their thing, I can't find anywhere, but I
can find, I found the article that Fox News reported on the RT thing.
(26:39):
So I don't know if like RT like got rid of it or something like that.
Yeah, it's possible.
I mean, Russia has never exactly been transparent when they have weird shit go down.
Yeah.
They're also not very reliable source of fact full information.
I feel like for the most part.
Yeah, but this doesn't exactly make them look good.
So I kind of feel like there's a little bit more legitimacy because normally, you know,
(27:01):
if it doesn't involve them doing superhuman feats of strength to save the Republic, then
they're not going to talk about it.
You know, that's true.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't, I don't know the legitimacy of the story.
It's a cool story.
It's fun.
I heard about it on the first time I heard about it was a few years ago on ancient aliens.
It was like a very like passing thing.
And I think like Nick Pope or whoever that guy is was talking about it.
(27:24):
And I don't know why, but I fucking hate that guy.
He seems like a genuine dude when he talks about stuff, but he has a weird rat face and
I fucking hate him for it.
Isn't Nick Pope the British guy who was in charge of project blue book?
Probably dude.
I don't know.
Whatever the British version of it was.
I genuinely have not looked into him because ever since the first time I saw him on ancient
(27:47):
aliens, it's like that dude's a fucking grifter.
Fuck that guy.
No basis for that accusation whatsoever.
I just mean now I need to look his face up.
He looks like a, but I'm pretty sure Nick Pope is the guy.
It probably is.
I just, I can't stand who he would just can't stand them.
Yeah.
(28:07):
Yeah.
He was, he was there.
UFO guy.
Yeah.
But he has a rat face and I can't handle him.
I know it was, I know I shouldn't body shame this man because he probably is very smart.
He's probably very knowledgeable, but it's like fucking ratatouille and I can't, you
know what Nick, I hate your face.
So everything you're saying sucks.
(28:27):
Shut up.
Right?
This is why we have more attractive people in the UFO community.
I believe a beautiful person over fucking Nick Pope.
That might also be why I never take anything that Elon Musk says seriously.
Cause he looks like a cartoon character.
Yeah.
But also maybe that's why I agree with everything.
Georgio Asoukalis says, you ever seen that dude?
He's fucking jacked as fuck.
He's ripped.
(28:48):
His hair though worries me sometimes.
I don't know why it's so big.
I think, I think he, he, I bet he would have changed his hairstyle if everyone, if it didn't
become like his signature thing.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's probably embracing the mad scientist look.
Yeah.
That's fine.
And that's fair.
Yeah.
(29:08):
I let him carry me like a baby.
If given the chance, it's fine.
Oh yeah.
Me too.
Hold me in your arms.
Tighter, closer.
Let me know you love me.
All right.
So yeah.
So that's today's episode.
Not saying it's aliens, but it's aliens.
So yeah.
So that's today's episode.
Not anything crazy.
I just thought it was a really fun story and I promised two years ago that I was going
(29:30):
to do a full episode on it.
And here we are.
We did it.
We did a full episode.
I'm going to say these are underwater yetis.
That's going to be my belief.
Is that what it is?
Underwater yetis?
They're 10 feet tall.
I mean, yeah.
The yetis are supposed to be big, aren't they?
I guess.
I don't know if they're 10 feet tall.
And maybe they get bigger cause they're in low depths, you know, they're, they're, and
(29:50):
so the pressure stretched them out.
Or maybe it's like, again, it's the goldfish thing.
They just grow to whatever.
Yeah.
They've got no natural predators.
Yeah.
Except for those fucking.
They're only natural predators, a Soviet with a net.
Such a wily coyote way to go about doing anything.
Just amazing.
(30:11):
It's so good.
I hope this is true just because of how hilarious it is to imagine like a bunch of divers being
jettisoned out of the water, like flying up in the air and then just belly flopping.
Dude, could you imagine how fucking scary that would be?
Like, oh God.
(30:32):
Yeah.
I'm not doubting that it's terrifying, but seeing it from my vantage point here in 2025,
it is kind of hilarious to imagine.
I mean, I bet it'd be fucking funny to see, like, I mean, I get, if you were on shore
and it happened in the moment, you're like, what the fuck was that?
But years later, you're probably like fucking flat, hit that water so fucking hard, dude.
(30:57):
Oh man.
I'm so sorry he died because of decompression sickness.
That was hilarious.
You know, tragedy over time equals comedy.
So exactly it is what it is.
All right.
Sorry.
Is there anything you want to plug before we sign off?
I got a few things that I want to say afterwards.
(31:17):
So yeah.
Get the coloring book, SagesSuperNormal.com.
$9.99.
It's probably worth it.
And that's it.
Yeah.
Get the coloring book.
Hell yeah.
I got two shout outs I want to give.
One is to my brother-in-law, Zach Elliott, because he's, he just discovered the show
(31:40):
and apparently he's been listening every day in his shop.
So I hope he hears this in his shop while everyone is around him and he's listening
to it.
Shout out Zach.
Love you, brother.
Sorry I missed your call.
Actually, I didn't miss your call.
I bitch buttoned you, but I didn't know it was you.
So I'm sorry in advance for that.
Yeah.
Thanks so much for listening to the show.
Now leave a rating review and subscribe to the Patreon.
(32:02):
It's a $3 a month and or $7 a month, whatever you want to do.
The other shout out I want to give is to this band called Killed by a Yeti.
I found them.
Oh, I love it.
The algorithm, the algorithm gods on TikTok found me this band and I've been obsessed
with their new EP.
So good.
It's metal.
(32:23):
It's not like Deathcore or metal.
I don't know.
You know, it's like for me, it sounds like party metal.
Like it's just a good time all around when you listen to it.
So definitely go check out Killed by a Yeti.
10 out of 10.
No notes.
Everything they do is gold.
But yeah, I think that's it.
Follow us on Instagram.
Follow us on TikTok, Crypto Cocktail and Crypto Cocktail Party respectively.
(32:47):
You can also sign up for our Patreon again.
$3 a month if you don't need any of the bells and whistles, you'll get a shout out on the
show.
But nothing fancy if you just want to support what we're doing or for $7 a month, you'll
get unedited video episodes.
You can see all my mistakes.
You'll be able to see my chest hair.
Yeah, you'll be able to hear some chest hair.
(33:08):
You'll be able to hear all my attempts at retrying to say things because I'm a fucking
dunce.
In my inability to use name of my sex tape properly.
Yeah.
You know, you get some other fun stuff eventually here and there.
(33:31):
But yeah, but I think with that out of the way, Sarge, do you want to say, oh, leave
us a rating and review anywhere you can, please.
It really helps.
Please do.
Yeah.
All right, Sarge, do you think you want to say goodbye and I love you to the audience?
Yes.
I love you to the audience.
(34:08):
Yeah.
Hey, everybody.
(00:25):
Welcome back to another episode of Crypto Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few
drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown.
I'm your host, Dave, joined as always by my handsome as hell co-host, Sarge.
How's it going, buddy?
Hey there.
Woo.
Let's do this.
I'm surprised you had a woo in you.
I know you're not feeling well.
I did have a woo in me.
That's all right.
I'm going to I'm energized by cryptids inside me.
(00:49):
Well, that's unfortunate because this is not about cryptids.
Actually, maybe it is.
I don't want to spoil it.
We'll get into it.
But anyways, how are you doing, bud?
Not too bad.
Just enjoying the lovely weather in New England and grateful that planes aren't falling in
my neighborhood as they were in yours.
Bro, I.
That video was wild.
Yeah, all the videos are wild.
(01:10):
Also, it's a super tragic story.
I don't know if you heard like the actual horrible.
It's absolutely horrible.
Like, I'm not I'm not trying to like shit on it.
No, no.
Watch the video.
But it's in the plane fell out of the sky.
And that's what blew my mind.
It's wild because like so I was driving.
It happened to probably like five minutes before I got onto the highway, because as
(01:31):
I was going down 95 south to head home, 95 north was just all emergency vehicles like
they were fucking gunning down.
And I was like, what the fuck is going on here?
And I get home whenever I see something like that.
When I parked my car, I'll Google like Philadelphia breaking news just to see what's going on.
I was I was not expecting a fucking plane to crash on Roosevelt Boulevard like that
(01:54):
is bananas.
Yeah, it's so wild.
It's such a rare occurrence for a plane to just like lawn dart into somebody's neighborhood.
That's fucking awful.
And it's even worse because it was like a bunch of kids.
Right.
So it was a the it was a medical transport.
It was a child from Mexico flew to Shriners to get like surgery, like some sort of operation
(02:17):
or something done.
Oh, got it.
Got it.
OK.
And it was like the kid and the family members like the mom and stuff like that flying back.
Oh, to Mexico after getting treatment and they fucking crash.
But the worst part about it, I mean, that's pretty fucking fucked up, is that literally
within hours, I went on Twitter for some fucking reason.
I don't know why I need to stop doing it.
(02:40):
Already conspiracy theories.
And it's like, of course, of course, flash in the sky.
What is what that explosion doesn't look like.
How a plane explodes like what the dude you don't fucking know.
Like get out of here.
Like how often do you see planes explode?
You fucking idiots.
So someone was like, why is there no debris?
And then they sound like it took five minutes, five seconds for me to find a picture of debris.
(03:00):
They're like, well, why is there no soot on it?
And they're like, well, because fuel when it burns doesn't create soot.
That's not how you know.
And also it was falling from the sky like.
Yeah.
And it exploded fast enough probably that it jettisoned quite a bit of that debris before
it all caught fire.
Yeah.
Also, I hate like I love conspiracies, but these ones are not fun and everyone needs
(03:23):
to fucking just take a minute and think critical thinking skills are not people.
Yeah, it's all dumb, but I will say it's a bad time to be flying because I guess this
is like within the past month, this is like the fourth or fifth plane crash, like a fucking
F16 fell out of the sky in Alaska or some shit like that.
Yeah, it's really bad.
(03:43):
Really bad timing right now.
It's only going to get better.
And yeah, and yeah, I'm not even going to touch on the political implications.
It's just fucking awful that so many of these horrible accidents have happened.
And my you know, my first concern was like, oh shit, did this land on Dave?
No, it was in northeast Philly.
(04:03):
I reached out to you so quickly.
Yeah, no, luckily I wasn't anywhere near it.
I just would do it was sirens all night.
Like it was wild.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
No doubt.
Like that doesn't happen in Philly.
The worst we get is people climbing up greased poles and then falling and dying.
Like that's what happens in Philly.
You know what I mean?
(04:24):
I mean, I worry because there's an airport right near my house and there's little there's
small planes that are always flying overhead.
And then there's Gillette Stadium not too far from me.
So there's always helicopters go into the stadium because Bob Kraft doesn't drive apparently.
First of all, if I was Bob Kraft, I wouldn't either.
Like if I was Bob, no, I wouldn't either.
(04:46):
The traffic on 95 is a disaster across the nation.
So across the East Coast.
So I don't blame him, but his helicopter always flies over my house.
And I'm always like, Jesus Christ, those things, they literally just fall out of the sky.
So I don't want that to happen in my backyard.
I've seen black Hawk down.
It just happens sometimes.
(05:10):
Well I believe Rockets were involved in that situation, but whatever.
On a lighter note, I went to the eye doctor.
This is real quick for the first, I was the eye doctor for the first time in like 20 years
and nice.
Everything was going good.
And they did the thing like the one or two, three or four, like that whole thing.
(05:32):
And at the end of it, she goes, you are like right on the cusp of not being allowed to
drive legally without glasses.
So once Mike, within a few weeks, you'll, you'll have a new, a new Dave look, which
will be glasses and a nice, yeah, it'll be, it'll be, you know, just a fresh new look
(05:56):
but the same great taste Dave that you've always come to the old man club, but I got,
I got horn room glasses because okay, I thought those were fancy.
Uh, all right, Sarge, today's episode.
There's a lot of talk going around about a certain country overseas that may have meddled
in our elections.
You know, you know, the one I'm talking about, uh, France, Germany, England, Russia, North
(06:22):
Korea, Iran, Russia.
Okay.
Today's arch, we are going to be heading to the motherland, the motherland, the mother.
I had nothing prepared to say over that.
I just thought it was fun to play the cannibalism capital of the world.
No.
So we're going to be heading to Russia to talk about, I don't know if they're aliens
(06:47):
or crypto.
I don't really know what they are or it could just be some Russians really zooted out on,
on crocodile.
It could be, but we're going to make a lake bike hall.
Are you familiar with lake bike hall?
I am not.
I have not had the pleasure.
Okay.
So I'm located in southeastern Siberia.
That's a pleasure.
(07:10):
I don't know why that got me.
Maybe one day.
So, uh, before we real quick, uh, today's episode is, this is a topic that I, I touched
on briefly like two years ago.
Um, it probably like in like the fourth episode I ever did, we, I did like a small little
brief breakdown of it and I promised that I was going to do a full episode on it.
(07:32):
So now we're going to, so anyways, we're going to lake bike hall.
It is located in southeastern Siberia near the Mongolian border.
Oh, now the thing about lake bike hall is that it's not just the deepest lake.
It's also one of the oldest with a history spanning over 25 million years, holding nearly
a quarter of the earth's fresh water.
Oh shit.
Yeah.
(07:53):
It's, it's the world's deepest and oldest lake.
See now I want to go to it.
This makes me actually like before I was kidding, but now I do kind of want to see it.
It's pretty sick.
It plunges to depths of over 5,000 feet and harbors numerous unique species that are found
nowhere else in the world.
It's pretty much like the Russian version of like Galapagos, if that makes sense.
How there's only this specific species.
Yeah.
(08:14):
Yeah.
Uh, some of these creatures include the bike hall Nerpa seal.
It's the only freshwater seal species in the world and it remains a biological mystery.
Like no one knows even know how they fucking got there.
Because Siberia is pretty landlocked.
It's in the middle of fucking note.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, Russia is kind of famously doesn't have many ports.
(08:35):
Yeah.
Uh, uh, the lake is also home to, uh, the bizarre go, go llama, go llama, Yonka fish.
I think I pronounced that right.
I don't know.
Uh, it's, it's a nightmare.
It's a, it's a translucent translucent scaleless species composed mostly of fat.
Uh, and there's also the legendary bike hall sturgeon, which grows to enormous sizes.
(08:59):
Uh, I was like, one of those things where like, it's been untouched by humanity and
it's so big.
It's like a goldfish basically.
The sturgeons just grow to it.
It doesn't have any predators and it's in a giant lake.
Yeah.
Uh, and this may also have, uh, inspired local myths of lake monsters.
But anyways, beyond like the ecological significance lake bike hall has, has long been the epicenter
(09:21):
of eerie unexplainable phenomena, strange lights in the sky, unidentified submerged
objects, usos if you're nasty and rumors of hidden extraterrestrial bases underneath
its frigid waters have made it a hotspot for conspiracy theorists and UFO enthusiasts.
So like, uh, some locals even speak of the sued con a so-called quote unquote water dragon
(09:43):
master said to lurk in the depths is basically they described it as a sturgeon with a.
Uh, like a, like a crocodile mouth and like an armored plate on it, but it could just
be because I prefer water dragon master.
I think has the best name for it.
That's what it like.
I think that's what that translates to.
I don't know why I wrote a so-called it's just, that's such a great name.
(10:06):
Yeah.
It's just a, it's just a big old fish.
Um, but you know, uh, but one of the most baffling encounters again, cause I don't know
how to really just like say what it is to come at a lake bike hall.
It's not just big fish.
Uh, it's a story that sounds like something out of like a science fiction horror film.
(10:27):
And then it is the encounter between Soviet military divers and the lake bike hall swimmers.
Are you familiar at all?
I'm going to assume no.
Yes.
Don't know about actually, no, I am familiar with this and I absolutely fell in love with
this story.
So I'm glad you're covering it because there's no way I would have remembered lake bike hall
(10:49):
as we can tell.
Yeah.
But I remember reading about the story and being fascinated with it.
Yeah.
So the story goes that in 1982 during the height of the cold war, the Soviet military
was conducting routine training exercises in the lake.
Now the divers were accustomed to tough conditions as I feel like most Russians usually are.
Cause I, yeah, they're not a hospitable country for sure.
(11:12):
Like they just waking up is a miracle.
Yeah.
And I feel like their military is, I'm not going to say better than ours, but they're
definitely tougher.
I feel like in a sense, they're tougher because their greatest weapon is the winter time.
That is how they'd repelled Napoleon and Hitler.
Yeah.
It's basically like they can fight anywhere at all times and they do not give a fuck.
(11:34):
They're also just fucking all fucked up on crocodile and vodka.
Like they're like super sold.
The winter soldier is a, is Russian.
When you're resourceful enough to turn potatoes into alcohol, you can accomplish great things.
I'll agree with that.
Yeah.
So they're, they're, they're accustomed to tough conditions, freezing water, complete
darkness and again, like the lake, the lake is so deep that if anyone was on train that
(11:58):
was going to dive into it, they'd be crushed in seconds.
If they were, you know what I mean?
Like if they weren't like prepared or like acclimated to it as a, as somebody who is
an aficionado of diving disaster videos, I can, there's something wrong with me, honestly,
because every time I talk about one of my interests, it's like, so this is another way
(12:18):
you can die.
Well, once you say it out loud is when you're like, wow, this is, yeah, that's when you're
like, oh, I do have some sick fucking interests.
But yeah, you have to have special, special tanks because you, you have to raise levels
of other gases in order to not get nitrogen.
You don't get the back.
(12:39):
Intoxication.
Well, not only that, but if you don't, if you have too much nitrogen, you actually almost
get drunk and then you, you do shit, like take your rebreather out of your mouth and
try to breathe water.
So it just.
So what you're saying is that I shouldn't do a bunch of whippets and then just go deep
sea diving.
Exactly.
(13:00):
Yeah.
You should avoid that.
You should avoid it.
You should avoid Valentine's day plans.
And honestly, the worst thing about diving is that everybody's body is different.
So what, what might mess you up, may not mess me up.
That's not true.
God made us all in his image.
We were all, God doesn't make mistakes.
(13:21):
Exactly.
God don't make mistakes.
Except for llamas.
That was a mistake.
Whoa.
All right.
We'll touch back on that later on.
Okay, the platypus though, we can all agree was an error.
Yeah.
That was a nightmare.
Or you're just having fun.
You just have fun with it.
But anyways, but it's a duck beaver.
It's fine.
But even though the Russians are very tough, I'm sure their bootcamp is bananas.
(13:43):
It's like, oh yeah, like nothing straight up torture.
Yeah.
Like nothing in their training could have prepared them for what was about to happen
to them.
So at a depth of about 164 feet, one of the divers noticed something moving in the distance.
At first he assumed it was a large fish, perhaps one of the fucking giant sturgeons.
I don't know.
(14:04):
But, but as the shape became clear, he realized it was something way worse.
It was humanoid.
It was humanoid nature.
Now before he could react, more of them emerged from the gloom, not just one, but several
swimming with impossible speed and grace, their long limbs cutting effortlessly through
(14:24):
the icy depths.
Okay.
I was going to say maybe it's just Vladimir Putin going for a swim.
No, but that tracks, it was more of them.
There's more than one.
Now the diver obviously kind of like fuck is going on.
He signaled to his comrades and they all turned to witness what can only be described as like
(14:45):
the impossible.
Now what they saw there was it was were towering 10 foot tall beings wearing metallic silver
body suits.
Their faces obscured by clear domed helmets.
There was no oxygen tanks, no visible breathing apparatus, just cold alien precision in their
movements.
(15:05):
For a moment, both sides simply just stared at each other.
The divers were frozen in fear and shock.
The humanoid seemingly just unbothered by the presence of heavily armed Soviet militia.
They were just whatever.
Then without warning, the beings turned and darted deeper into the lake, vanishing into
the abyss.
(15:25):
Now at this point they're like, we need to tell the top brass, we need to get out of
here and let someone know what's going on.
So when the shaken divers finally surfaced, they were immediately debriefed by their commanding
officer.
Now, given the bizarre nature of what they reported, their superiors, they faced a dilemma.
Was this like an elaborate hoax where these guys who went into the water like, it's too
(15:49):
cold, it's too dark, we don't want to do this anymore.
So they made up a story.
Was it a shared hallucination?
Maybe what you said, maybe they had too much nitrogen or whatever in their blood and they
were fucking hammered.
And they were like, you see all this shit?
Maybe it was one of the seals.
Yuri, level with me.
Were you drinking vodka before you went in the water?
Well, I'm not going to lie.
(16:10):
I know you're doing a bit, but I feel like that's probably custom.
Like I feel like.
Yeah, probably.
Now that I say that out loud, that is more than likely just a normal state of being.
Yeah, like you may not return.
Have a shot.
I will miss you if you die, but I will take all of your vodka.
And your wives and bears.
(16:31):
Yeah.
That line from Rocky IV, if he dies, he dies.
That's just like a common saying in Russia.
Yeah, that's like, it's like how, what is, was Aloha means hello and goodbye or something
like that.
That's actually how they say hello and goodbye.
If you die, you die.
(16:53):
Real quick.
I don't know why, but whenever I talk at a Russian accent, the two things I like to say
the most are baseballs and the American blue jeans.
I don't know.
I don't know what's popular exports during Soviet era Russia.
Yeah.
Just did you bring us miss balls or what about the American blue jeans, American blue jeans,
(17:17):
Livy's?
Come on.
We're offending every Russian that has ever been a part of this show.
I don't care.
American blue jeans is the funniest thing to say in Russian.
It's so good.
You'll go to Gulag for winning American blue jeans.
(17:40):
Soviet denim much more.
Soviet denim is just regular denim wrapped in barbed wire.
Let's stop shitting on maybe a potential listening base here.
Are we at war?
No, no, they're at war with somebody else.
I forgot.
Not yet.
All right.
(18:00):
Where was I?
Oh yeah.
So it was either an elaborate hoax, a shared hallucination, or maybe they just encountered
something not of this world.
So rather than dismiss the claims, military officials decided to take action.
Russian divers were ordered to return to the depths of the new objective.
That is capture one of these human humanoid beings alive if possible.
(18:21):
There is nothing more human than, oh shit, that's weird and scary.
Let's capture it.
At least this time I will give to the Russians.
They said alive if possible.
Most, if it was America, they would in America, they would first we'll figure it out.
Yeah.
That's exactly how we would do it here.
So props to them for at least that.
Now descending back into the lake, the team moved with caution.
(18:45):
Their oxygen tanks hissed in the silent frigid water.
The deeper they went, the more their surroundings faded into darkness.
Then see I had to burp.
Nothing burps like Narragansett.
Then as if waiting for them, the humanoids reappeared.
This time the divers had a plan, a concept of a plan.
It was very Looney Tunes.
(19:07):
This is a very Looney Tunes plan.
They brought an anvil and a giant rocket with them.
We'll figure it out when we get down there.
Kind of American cartoons.
They show us how to.
No, no, it was a Looney Tunes.
Comical mousetrap.
Bugs Bunny.
Road runner.
Like Coyote.
We tried to get him to defect, but find out he's not real.
(19:32):
We bought these from Acme Co.
It's not that far off.
So one of them carried a large net.
Oh God.
Yes.
Of course.
It's not cutting edge military technology, but given the circumstances, it was apparently
was their best option.
Industrial size butterfly net.
(19:53):
You just got it on a long stick.
I'll get you alien.
With military precision, the group moved in, but the moment they attempted to ensnare one
of the creatures, the atmosphere in the water, I guess the air, I was going to say the air,
but the water shifted.
Right.
Now the humanoids once seemingly indifferent from the first time they saw them now reacted
(20:16):
with force.
Now without touching them, without making a sound, the beings unleashed an invisible
wave of energy, a high intensity sonar blast.
Once these, once the soldiers were hit, the effects were immediate.
The divers convulsed as a shockwave tore through their bodies, their vision blurred, their
muscles locked up, then as if yanked by unseen forces, they were flung upward towards the
(20:38):
surface at an uncontrollable speed.
Now for those of you unfamiliar with deep water diving, rapid ascent from such depths
is catastrophic to your body.
Like yeah, yeah.
The sudden decompression caused by being forcefully expelled from the water can lead to what is
commonly known as the bends.
It literally makes your blood boil.
(21:00):
Yeah, this occurs when nitrogen bubbles form in the bloodstream due to a rapid change in
pressure leading to excruciating pain, paralysis, and in severe cases, death.
Now in this case, the results were tragic.
Three of the divers sustained injuries, but managed to avoid the worst effects of decompression
sickness.
However, four of them suffered extreme cases and needed immediate medical attention.
(21:25):
Luckily there was a recompression chamber in the region, but it was only designed to accommodate
two people at a time.
So faced with an impossible decision and desperate to save their comrades, the medical team attempted
to treat all four divers at once.
This proved to be a fatal mistake.
Three of the men succumbed to their injuries while the sole survivor suffered lasting physical
(21:46):
and psychological trauma.
How are we feeling so far, Sarge?
I mean, this just reconfirms that I don't want to swim underwater.
Ever again?
Especially in Russia.
Yeah.
Well, it doesn't know like I'll go into water like, you know, a couple of feet in a swimming
pool, but I'm not diving anywhere.
(22:07):
Oh, no, I'll know.
Unless like if I can't see this, if I can't see the bottom or see the surface, I'm good.
Yeah, I'm done.
I don't need thanks.
I don't need that shit.
Well, like I read about re like decompression when you're coming up and you have to wait
and sometimes they have to wait for fucking hours in the middle of the ocean on a rope.
(22:27):
Like fuck that.
You know, bored you'd be.
Yeah, I also found that I don't know how true this is.
I was watching the show Silo.
I don't know if you ever watched it.
10 out of 10.
Highly recommend it.
If you have Apple TV, my guy, one of the best shows I've ever seen in a long time.
But if you started to get the bends as you're coming up, if you just go back down and chill
(22:49):
for a minute, like you said, like it kind of like repurposes everything.
I guess.
Okay.
But hey, that's useful advice, maybe from a TV show.
Well, yeah, I mean the whole decompression, like the chambers that they have to put them
in, it's essentially doing that.
It's just re exerting the pressure on their bodies so that they don't die too quickly.
(23:11):
Yeah.
It like slows everything down so that they can actually survive.
So they can die slower.
Got it.
All right, cool.
It's actually that's a, I don't know if any of you, I'm not going to talk about it now,
but look up the bifur dolphin incident.
That's actually pretty fascinating.
Catastrophic recompression.
What did someone write a dolphin down to the depths and then fucking die?
(23:34):
No, it's like a diving bell and they brought it up to the surface and then somebody just
decided to open the door like a fucking idiot and everybody inside got basically liquefied.
Fuck yeah.
That's I mean, look it up.
It's crazy.
It's a crazy story.
I said, fuck yeah.
Like I was like, like that's tragic, but at the same time, like that's metal as fuck,
(23:57):
dude.
Like, yeah, well yeah, it's, it's pretty goddamn metal for sure, but it's also horrible death.
Yeah.
No, no.
Following this catastrophic incident, Soviet authorities reportedly shut down any further
missions to engage or capture unidentified submerged objects in Lake Baikal and any official
(24:17):
documentation and any official documentation of the event was classified at the highest
levels and those involved were sworn to secrecy.
Now one of the few public available sources, and this is true, is a 2009 Russia Today report,
RT, which briefly mentioned the encounter in the context of Soviet UFO phenomenon.
(24:41):
Really?
And a Fox News article later expanded on the story revealing that quote, military divers
encountered a group of humanoid creatures dressed in silvery suits at a depth of 160
feet, end quote.
And according to the report, the divers attempted to capture one of the beings resulting in
a violent response that led to the deaths of three crew members during the encounter.
(25:05):
This is a real Fox News article that you can look up and they actually reported on it.
Now, I mean that almost kind of reduces the legitimacy of the story for me.
The fact that they're reporting on an RT, which is a Russian state propaganda outlet,
or which one?
No, just the fact that Fox News got involved in any story, because I'm just trying to figure
(25:30):
out how they managed to blame that on DEI.
This is what happens when you include aliens in things.
Well, if the aliens were illegal, they didn't go through the proper channels to be in that
lake.
You know they didn't.
That's true.
They didn't have their intergalactic passport.
They must be here in one of them H1B visas.
(25:54):
No, whatever the truth may be, one thing is certain.
And that is that Lake Baikal remains one of the most enigmatic and mysterious places on
earth and perhaps lurking in its frigid depths, the answer to one of humanity's greatest questions,
are we alone?
Awaits discovery.
That is the story of the Baikal swimmers.
(26:15):
It wasn't like a crazy story.
I just thought it was a story that's not very well known.
I think it's an amazing story.
That's really fascinating.
I didn't know that RT had reported on it.
I had read it on some, you know.
Yeah.
Well, so the RT act, like their report, like their thing, I can't find anywhere, but I
can find, I found the article that Fox News reported on the RT thing.
(26:39):
So I don't know if like RT like got rid of it or something like that.
Yeah, it's possible.
I mean, Russia has never exactly been transparent when they have weird shit go down.
Yeah.
They're also not very reliable source of fact full information.
I feel like for the most part.
Yeah, but this doesn't exactly make them look good.
So I kind of feel like there's a little bit more legitimacy because normally, you know,
(27:01):
if it doesn't involve them doing superhuman feats of strength to save the Republic, then
they're not going to talk about it.
You know, that's true.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't, I don't know the legitimacy of the story.
It's a cool story.
It's fun.
I heard about it on the first time I heard about it was a few years ago on ancient aliens.
It was like a very like passing thing.
And I think like Nick Pope or whoever that guy is was talking about it.
(27:24):
And I don't know why, but I fucking hate that guy.
He seems like a genuine dude when he talks about stuff, but he has a weird rat face and
I fucking hate him for it.
Isn't Nick Pope the British guy who was in charge of project blue book?
Probably dude.
I don't know.
Whatever the British version of it was.
I genuinely have not looked into him because ever since the first time I saw him on ancient
(27:47):
aliens, it's like that dude's a fucking grifter.
Fuck that guy.
No basis for that accusation whatsoever.
I just mean now I need to look his face up.
He looks like a, but I'm pretty sure Nick Pope is the guy.
It probably is.
I just, I can't stand who he would just can't stand them.
Yeah.
(28:07):
Yeah.
He was, he was there.
UFO guy.
Yeah.
But he has a rat face and I can't handle him.
I know it was, I know I shouldn't body shame this man because he probably is very smart.
He's probably very knowledgeable, but it's like fucking ratatouille and I can't, you
know what Nick, I hate your face.
So everything you're saying sucks.
(28:27):
Shut up.
Right?
This is why we have more attractive people in the UFO community.
I believe a beautiful person over fucking Nick Pope.
That might also be why I never take anything that Elon Musk says seriously.
Cause he looks like a cartoon character.
Yeah.
But also maybe that's why I agree with everything.
Georgio Asoukalis says, you ever seen that dude?
He's fucking jacked as fuck.
He's ripped.
(28:48):
His hair though worries me sometimes.
I don't know why it's so big.
I think, I think he, he, I bet he would have changed his hairstyle if everyone, if it didn't
become like his signature thing.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's probably embracing the mad scientist look.
Yeah.
That's fine.
And that's fair.
Yeah.
(29:08):
I let him carry me like a baby.
If given the chance, it's fine.
Oh yeah.
Me too.
Hold me in your arms.
Tighter, closer.
Let me know you love me.
All right.
So yeah.
So that's today's episode.
Not saying it's aliens, but it's aliens.
So yeah.
So that's today's episode.
Not anything crazy.
I just thought it was a really fun story and I promised two years ago that I was going
(29:30):
to do a full episode on it.
And here we are.
We did it.
We did a full episode.
I'm going to say these are underwater yetis.
That's going to be my belief.
Is that what it is?
Underwater yetis?
They're 10 feet tall.
I mean, yeah.
The yetis are supposed to be big, aren't they?
I guess.
I don't know if they're 10 feet tall.
And maybe they get bigger cause they're in low depths, you know, they're, they're, and
(29:50):
so the pressure stretched them out.
Or maybe it's like, again, it's the goldfish thing.
They just grow to whatever.
Yeah.
They've got no natural predators.
Yeah.
Except for those fucking.
They're only natural predators, a Soviet with a net.
Such a wily coyote way to go about doing anything.
Just amazing.
(30:11):
It's so good.
I hope this is true just because of how hilarious it is to imagine like a bunch of divers being
jettisoned out of the water, like flying up in the air and then just belly flopping.
Dude, could you imagine how fucking scary that would be?
Like, oh God.
(30:32):
Yeah.
I'm not doubting that it's terrifying, but seeing it from my vantage point here in 2025,
it is kind of hilarious to imagine.
I mean, I bet it'd be fucking funny to see, like, I mean, I get, if you were on shore
and it happened in the moment, you're like, what the fuck was that?
But years later, you're probably like fucking flat, hit that water so fucking hard, dude.
(30:57):
Oh man.
I'm so sorry he died because of decompression sickness.
That was hilarious.
You know, tragedy over time equals comedy.
So exactly it is what it is.
All right.
Sorry.
Is there anything you want to plug before we sign off?
I got a few things that I want to say afterwards.
(31:17):
So yeah.
Get the coloring book, SagesSuperNormal.com.
$9.99.
It's probably worth it.
And that's it.
Yeah.
Get the coloring book.
Hell yeah.
I got two shout outs I want to give.
One is to my brother-in-law, Zach Elliott, because he's, he just discovered the show
(31:40):
and apparently he's been listening every day in his shop.
So I hope he hears this in his shop while everyone is around him and he's listening
to it.
Shout out Zach.
Love you, brother.
Sorry I missed your call.
Actually, I didn't miss your call.
I bitch buttoned you, but I didn't know it was you.
So I'm sorry in advance for that.
Yeah.
Thanks so much for listening to the show.
Now leave a rating review and subscribe to the Patreon.
(32:02):
It's a $3 a month and or $7 a month, whatever you want to do.
The other shout out I want to give is to this band called Killed by a Yeti.
I found them.
Oh, I love it.
The algorithm, the algorithm gods on TikTok found me this band and I've been obsessed
with their new EP.
So good.
It's metal.
(32:23):
It's not like Deathcore or metal.
I don't know.
You know, it's like for me, it sounds like party metal.
Like it's just a good time all around when you listen to it.
So definitely go check out Killed by a Yeti.
10 out of 10.
No notes.
Everything they do is gold.
But yeah, I think that's it.
Follow us on Instagram.
Follow us on TikTok, Crypto Cocktail and Crypto Cocktail Party respectively.
(32:47):
You can also sign up for our Patreon again.
$3 a month if you don't need any of the bells and whistles, you'll get a shout out on the
show.
But nothing fancy if you just want to support what we're doing or for $7 a month, you'll
get unedited video episodes.
You can see all my mistakes.
You'll be able to see my chest hair.
Yeah, you'll be able to hear some chest hair.
(33:08):
You'll be able to hear all my attempts at retrying to say things because I'm a fucking
dunce.
In my inability to use name of my sex tape properly.
Yeah.
You know, you get some other fun stuff eventually here and there.
(33:31):
But yeah, but I think with that out of the way, Sarge, do you want to say, oh, leave
us a rating and review anywhere you can, please.
It really helps.
Please do.
Yeah.
All right, Sarge, do you think you want to say goodbye and I love you to the audience?
Yes.
I love you to the audience.
(34:08):
Yeah.
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