June 17, 2025 • 16 mins
Cut The Tie Podcast with Thomas Helfrich
Episode 269
Melissa Aarskaug built a successful career in cybersecurity and leadership, but for years she played it safe—showing only the “W-2 version” of herself. In this episode of Cut The Tie, host Thomas Helfrich sits down with the Executive Connect podcast founder to talk about letting go of fear, showing up authentically, and learning to lead from a place of intention, not just ambition.
Melissa shares the moment she decided to stop playing small, the real-life impact of being vulnerable online, and why showing up fully—as a parent, a leader, and a human—is the most courageous thing you can do.
About Melissa Aarskaug:
Melissa started her career in civil and environmental engineering, building bridges and treatment facilities before pivoting into compliance and cybersecurity. Now a senior leader in the security sector and the founder of Executive Connect, she helps protect regulated industries from cyber threats while using her platform to help others cut through fear, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism. Through speaking, writing, and podcasting, Melissa inspires leaders to be more courageous, more intentional, and more human.
In this episode, Thomas and Melissa discuss:
- What it means to stop playing small
Melissa shares how she hid behind her job title for years—until she decided to show up fully and authentically in every space. - The power of public vulnerability
A single LinkedIn post inspired someone to apply for a job they didn’t think they could get—and they got it. That’s impact. - Why leadership isn’t about the title
Being a leader is about listening, showing up, and creating ripple effects—not about your org chart status. - The trap of people-pleasing
Melissa unpacks the dangers of overvaluing others’ opinions and how to stay focused on your own mission. - What’s next for her journey
From a long-paused book to more keynote stages, Melissa’s just getting started.
Key Takeaways:
- You’re allowed to be more than one version of yourself.
Don’t hide the messy or the meaningful parts of who you are. - Imposter syndrome fades when you take action.
You don’t need permission to lead—you just need to begin. - Leadership is intentional, not positional.
It’s how you show up, not what’s on your business card. - Care less about being liked—care more about being impactful.
Focus on authenticity over approval. - Challenge yourself earlier, not later.
Don’t wait for “the right time” to start what matters to you.
Connect with Melissa Aarskaug:
🎙️ Executive Connect Podcast
📧 Reach out via LinkedIn for podcast invites, speaking inquiries, or media kit requests
Connect with Thomas Helfrich:
🐦 Twitter: @thelfrich
📘 Facebook: Cut The Tie Group
💼 LinkedIn: Thomas Helfrich
🌐 Website: cutthetie.com
📧 Email: t@instantlyrelevant.com
🚀 instantlyrelevant.com
Serious about LinkedIn Lead Generation? Stop Guessing what to do on LinkedIn and ignite revenue from relevance with Instantly Relevant Lead System
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast.
Hello, I'm your host once again, Thomas Helfrich, and I'm on a
mission to help you cut a tie towhatever it is holding you back
from your life, from success,from entrepreneurship.
And today I'm joined by MelissaAarskaug.
I get it.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
You got it.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
It's the first.
You're the first Aarskaug I'veever.
I feel like it's something fromVikings, like, like, like.
Like you're going to throw anax at me if I said it wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Maybe you never know.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Well, yeah, digital ax, here it comes.
Take a moment to introduceyourself, Melissa, and what it
is you do.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to be here.
My name is Melissa Arskog.
I started my career in civilengineering and now I spend the
majority of my time in security,protecting regulated industries
from cyber breach.
I'm also the founder of theExecutive Connect podcast, where
we sit down with trailblazerleaders across many different
(00:55):
industries and we talk the real,messy, raw talk about what it
takes to be successful fromleadership to innovation, to
resilience, to negotiating yoursalaries and really help
everyone build a future they'remost proud of.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I love it.
What makes you unique, though?
Why do people pick you?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
That's a great question.
I think we're so many differenttopics.
A lot of times I'm findingeverybody keeps saying you have
to be one thing and focus on onething.
I think in life, our life we'regoing to have a lot of
different needs.
So the podcast talks a littlebit about imposter syndrome and
at some point in our life we'regoing to do something that we're
(01:36):
not 100% confident in.
We're going to start a new joband we're going to have to talk
about salary negotiations.
Maybe we have a fear that wewant to overcome.
So all the podcast is alldifferent types and all
different things we mightexplore in our life.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You got a really unique background in your life.
Could you just take a fewmoments talk about your journey
and what the tie was that youended up having to cut and what
the tie was that you ended uphaving to cut.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, absolutely so much of my earlier days.
I feel like I was fighting thatupstream on what I should do or
what I thought I should bedoing, and kind of the last half
, the back half, I really justkind of rode the wave downstream
.
So I started my career inbanking.
I've worked in the mortgageindustry.
I have a dual engineeringdegree in civil and
(02:26):
environmental engineering.
I was building bridges andwater treatment facilities
before, and then I accidentallyapplied for a job in compliance.
I took the role.
I've been there 13 years andI've had many different titles,
many different focuses at thecompany.
But I think the one thing I'vehad to cut the tie that I've had
(02:49):
to cut was playing it small forso long.
I really just showed up doingwhat I had to do and I really
didn't focus on what I could beand what I could do.
But the truth is we all can doso much more than we think we
can.
So I inspired myself to makethose changes.
Instead of sitting on thesideline watching others, I
(03:12):
really started to lean in andspeak out and speak on things
that I was passionate aboutwhether it was something like
you know, I found interestinglyenough, I found some of my
clients didn't even know I hadchildren, which made me believe
that I wasn't being my authenticself.
I was showing them that oneside of Melissa, just the W-2
(03:35):
side of Melissa, and not sharingkind of a messy other side of
Melissa.
I cut that tie and I made a bigshift and that gave birth to
the Executive Connect podcast,to me being more authentic on
LinkedIn and being moreconfident in all facets of my
life, not just my corporatecareer.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
In that journey, do you remember the moment and if
you could describe it, when youknew you were going to.
That's it.
I'm cutting this tie off.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, I think I kind of started dabbling slowly in it
slowly, and I knew that what Iwas doing was making a
difference in people's lives.
I had a week ago I posted apost on confidence and a woman
walked up to me and said I wouldhave never applied for that job
had I not read your post.
When I saw that post, it gaveme the courage I needed to apply
(04:26):
for the job.
By the way, she wasn'tqualified for the job and she
actually got it.
So I knew what I was doing washelping others and it was
something that was authentic andnot transactional.
It's something that I was justgiving, and giving to help other
people giving and giving tohelp other people.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
That's amazing.
Like you know, I love to hearthose stories.
And side note, just noteverybody who's qualified should
get the job and I hate to saythat, like, the person who could
probably perform in the jobbest is not always aligned to
who qualifies based on therequirements.
So I think that's whoever hiredthem good for them taking a
risk because they bet on theperson.
It sounds like more than thehistory and I love that.
I love to hear that You're inthis journey of cutting ties and
(05:11):
you're trying to get better.
You have the moments.
What was the impact to you?
Others, relationships frommaking the change?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah, I think a lot of you know life shows up right.
I think a lot of times we justare running on play all day,
every day, running the race ofour life, that we don't step
back and look at the things thatare happening.
I don't want to say to us butfor us, so for me, I had
different things that hadhappened.
(05:40):
So a moment that happened isafter I helped a major client of
ours recover from acybersecurity incident.
I was totally exhausted andproud of being able to help them
, but I remember talking to themabout my family and I realized
that those stories behind thosemoments are so important to
share your authentic self thatmaybe others didn't know.
(06:03):
And I wanted to create a spacethrough the Executive Connect
podcast where people could sharethat with all the listeners
that were part of it.
And so I just started hittingrecord, shared what I knew,
shared what they knew, andinvited other executives I knew
and that were friends of mine toshare about their wins and how
(06:24):
they achieved what they achieved.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
What's the biggest lesson you'd give the listeners?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I think, to be a better listener and more an
intentional leader.
I think you know leadershipisn't just title, it's not by
title, it's not by managingemployees.
It's taking that step to do athing and it creates a ripple
effect, whether it's buildingnew partnerships or opening
doors for underrepresentedvoices or inspiring people to
(06:54):
make a change in their life.
I think how you show up to yourclients and to your life as not
just transactionally or avendor, but really as a trusted
advisor to not only just yourclients but your friends, your
spouse, your peers, and reallyhaving a mutually beneficial
(07:15):
relationship.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I love it.
The rapid fire section right.
I always like to hear these whogives you inspiration?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh, that's such a good question.
I think so many pieces.
I think it starts with myimmediate family, and my parents
have been such an inspiringpart of my life my children, my
husband and then my guests on mypodcast.
They're so knowledgeable, theyhave such great experience.
They've opened my eyes to somany things that I would have
(07:42):
not known about or beeninterested in learning about.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I find, listen, I think what keeps driving me,
that drives my passion, are myguests.
Are my guests the kids and somethings I want to do in the
bigger world.
But I get so much inspirationhearing just what you know.
I don't feel alone, I guess.
When I do interviews I feellike I'm connected to a lot of
other entrepreneurs who areloosely connected through this
thing called entrepreneurship.
So I love that.
I totally identify with that.
(08:07):
What's kind of the bestbusiness advice you've ever
received?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
This is a new one.
I was just writing on thisbefore I jumped on this.
It's not worrying so much aboutwhat other people think of you
all the time.
I think we all want to be likedand accepted and supported that
oftentimes we spend so muchtime and energy trying to get
others to like us and support usand believe in us that we
(08:30):
forget the us and what ourmission is, and so really just
focus on who you areauthentically, and the right
people will show up.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I think you're spot on with that, because this takes
away things likeprocrastination, and
perfectionism is usually rootedin a fear of someone else's
opinion, in less so of your owninterpretation of it.
So I agree with that.
That's a hard one to getthrough and care less or care
about your own mission and maybethe customers you serve.
(09:00):
There are some spouses and kidslike some of their opinions of
you do matter, and it issometimes a mere reflection that
you won't see, but they are theonly ones that will share.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
That's a really great point.
So just kind of pulling backthe layer of that.
Now, there's people that youdon't care, or do care whether
what they think about, but thepeople that you love and respect
, like your husband and yourchildren and your family their
opinions absolutely, absolutelymatter, and hearing what they
have to say and maybe theymisunderstood something you said
(09:31):
and so really sending the timeto pull back the layers on the
ones we love is super important.
The ones that are creatingdrama in our life are whiners,
moaners and complainers.
We might not care so much aboutwhat they think.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Agreed, and the people who actually don't have
influence in life shouldn'tinfluence you would be a good
way to say that.
I think, and I just made thatup.
So if it gets quoted anywhere,I want it.
I want that quote.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
What's the must-read book?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I love the Jim Rohn Seasons of Life.
I think so many of us believethat we're always going to be on
the upswing in our life.
Things are going toprogressively always get better.
I think learning how to flowthrough the seasons or through
the changes in the presidents orthe weather or what's going on
in our world, just to learn howto navigate life and all the
(10:21):
things that are around us thatwe cannot control.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Oh man, that's so true, and I had not read that
book, and it's one of many on mylist.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It's short.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Well, that actually will move it up the list if I
can listen to it quickly.
But there, uh, I'm on the, uh,I'm on the adult ADHD and how it
impacts marriage andrelationships.
Like, that's my.
My big tie to cut this year ishow to manage ADHD, because I
see it as such a superpower thathas such a big kryptonite on
the back end of it that limitsyou that you don't realize.
So, anyway, that's my, anyway.
That probably won't make thecut for you either.
(10:51):
All right, this has been fun sofar, so far.
Okay, there's more questionscoming.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
If you could go back to any part in your timeline in
life, when would you do that andwhat would you change?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Oh, that's so good.
I think I would challengemyself more younger.
I always used to say when I getto be this age, I'll do this.
When I get to be that age, I'lldo that.
I started talking about writinga book in my.
I actually started writing thebook in my early twenties and
I'm like nobody's going to reada book from somebody in their
20s.
(11:25):
What do I know about the world?
And here I am in my 40s and I'mpicking up kind of what I
started 20 years ago writing andjust tweaking it a little bit.
But a lot of it is very muchthe same back then.
And so I would say, just showup and be you and you know, put
(11:46):
yourself out there and you'llnever know what star you'll grab
.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I love that.
If there was one question Ishould have asked you today, and
I didn't.
What would that question havebeen and how do you answer it?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Maybe something along what's next?
I know a lot of my life hasbeen by chance or by opportunity
, or someone has come into mylife and sparked something
within me to write an article orpost something on LinkedIn.
I think what's next and one ofthe things I have been very
(12:20):
lucky to do is I've been able tospeak on many different stages
across many different industries, on imposter syndrome and being
fearless and cybersecurity.
I think showing up for me onstages that I want to be on more
and picking those differentstages and helping businesses
(12:42):
support their leaders internallyand give them the courage to do
the things they need to do.
I think I'm looking at my goalsand asking myself what's next
and, as an ambitious person, Ihave so many goals.
I need to temper them downwhat's on the front half and
what's on the back half?
So what's next is the book andthen more speaking speaking to
(13:06):
more people on bigger stages.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I love that man.
You got some good stuff.
You're an inspiration.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I try.
I think inspiration I thinkthat's the one I love, that you
said that I think that'ssomething that I show up and
wake up every morning and that'sexactly what I pray first thing
in the morning is to be aninspiration and a positive
influence on just one person'slife.
Today, I do that every time Istart my day I actually did it
(13:33):
before we started this podcasttoday is hoping that the work,
the good work we do here todaytouches and helps just one
person to take one action intheir life.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I love that.
That's great.
Thank you.
Shameless plug time for you.
Who should get ahold of you andhow they do that.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Absolutely I'm best on LinkedIn.
I think we're all overwhelmedwith the mass amounts of emails
we get each and every day, soI'm best on LinkedIn.
Melissa Arskog, contact me ifyou need an ear or a friend, or
you're interested in being onthe Executive Connect podcast,
or maybe you want to talk toyour staff about being fearless
(14:12):
or mentorship, or I am happy tosend you my media kit and things
I've talked about that may behelpful and that could be found
on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I love it.
I love all this.
This is probably my loveliestlove done.
I keep saying I love it becauseI do.
I even like it.
I all this.
This is probably my loveliestlove done.
I keep saying I love it becauseI do.
I even like it.
I really do.
This is really good.
Thank you, by the way, forcoming on today.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yes, thank you for having me.
Now what I have to ask you.
I'm going to flip the scriptson you.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
You have to do that at some point during the show.
Right I show, right I have to.
I've got to flip the script now.
What is one piece of advice youwould give yourself, your
younger self?
Oh, where do I begin?
I would I right now, because mymind's on it.
I would have started tacklingthis adhd thing a lot sooner
(15:00):
because I see the power of it.
Like I mean, like the abilityto process information and ideas
, but it's running a marathon 25miles of it.
Like I mean, like the abilityto process information and ideas
, but it's running a marathon 25miles of it, and you can't
finish the marathon ever, andthat's last miles is crushing
when you see how many marathonsyou could have ran if you could
just finish the last fuckingmile and somebody that also
identifies in that capacity.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
One thing I've learned for myself is to get
systems in place and outsourcethe things you are not good at
or hate doing, because when itjust, it becomes a nonstop
procrastination, last minutethings, and so when you can
outsource it, you can create somany more amazing things
(15:46):
outsource it, you can create somany more amazing things.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I can't agree any more than that.
It is, you know.
Let me say goodbye.
We'll come back to that.
I got a minute here, okay, yeah, thank you.
Thank you, melissa, so much forcoming on today.
I really appreciate you takingthe time to just join me on the
show.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Thank you for allowing me to be here.
It's been a pleasure to talk toyour audience and get to know
you a little more.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Love it.
See, I love it again.
Hey, listen, everyone, listento the show.
At this point you rock.
This is your first time here.
I hope it's the first of manyand get out there.
Go cut a tie to somethingholding you back.
Go unleash the best version ofyourself, the entrepreneur
within you.
And I have one call to actionJust follow the show on Apple
Spotify.
Maybe, if you're a YouTuber,hit, subscribe.
That'd be great too.
(16:28):
And if you're really cheeky, dofive-star review.
And if it isn't a five-starreview, find me on LinkedIn and
tell me why not, and I'll I'lltake your considerations into
into into perspective.
Thanks for listening.
Have a great day.
Welcome to Cut the Tie podcast.
Hello, I'm your host once again, Thomas Helfrich, and I'm on a
mission to help you cut a tie towhatever it is holding you back
from your life, from success,from entrepreneurship.
And today I'm joined by MelissaAarskaug.
I get it.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
You got it.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
It's the first.
You're the first Aarskaug I'veever.
I feel like it's something fromVikings, like, like, like.
Like you're going to throw anax at me if I said it wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Maybe you never know.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Well, yeah, digital ax, here it comes.
Take a moment to introduceyourself, Melissa, and what it
is you do.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Thank you so much.
I'm so excited to be here.
My name is Melissa Arskog.
I started my career in civilengineering and now I spend the
majority of my time in security,protecting regulated industries
from cyber breach.
I'm also the founder of theExecutive Connect podcast, where
we sit down with trailblazerleaders across many different
(00:55):
industries and we talk the real,messy, raw talk about what it
takes to be successful fromleadership to innovation, to
resilience, to negotiating yoursalaries and really help
everyone build a future they'remost proud of.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I love it.
What makes you unique, though?
Why do people pick you?
Speaker 2 (01:16):
That's a great question.
I think we're so many differenttopics.
A lot of times I'm findingeverybody keeps saying you have
to be one thing and focus on onething.
I think in life, our life we'regoing to have a lot of
different needs.
So the podcast talks a littlebit about imposter syndrome and
at some point in our life we'regoing to do something that we're
(01:36):
not 100% confident in.
We're going to start a new joband we're going to have to talk
about salary negotiations.
Maybe we have a fear that wewant to overcome.
So all the podcast is alldifferent types and all
different things we mightexplore in our life.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
You got a really unique background in your life.
Could you just take a fewmoments talk about your journey
and what the tie was that youended up having to cut and what
the tie was that you ended uphaving to cut.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Yeah, absolutely so much of my earlier days.
I feel like I was fighting thatupstream on what I should do or
what I thought I should bedoing, and kind of the last half
, the back half, I really justkind of rode the wave downstream
.
So I started my career inbanking.
I've worked in the mortgageindustry.
I have a dual engineeringdegree in civil and
(02:26):
environmental engineering.
I was building bridges andwater treatment facilities
before, and then I accidentallyapplied for a job in compliance.
I took the role.
I've been there 13 years andI've had many different titles,
many different focuses at thecompany.
But I think the one thing I'vehad to cut the tie that I've had
(02:49):
to cut was playing it small forso long.
I really just showed up doingwhat I had to do and I really
didn't focus on what I could beand what I could do.
But the truth is we all can doso much more than we think we
can.
So I inspired myself to makethose changes.
Instead of sitting on thesideline watching others, I
(03:12):
really started to lean in andspeak out and speak on things
that I was passionate aboutwhether it was something like
you know, I found interestinglyenough, I found some of my
clients didn't even know I hadchildren, which made me believe
that I wasn't being my authenticself.
I was showing them that oneside of Melissa, just the W-2
(03:35):
side of Melissa, and not sharingkind of a messy other side of
Melissa.
I cut that tie and I made a bigshift and that gave birth to
the Executive Connect podcast,to me being more authentic on
LinkedIn and being moreconfident in all facets of my
life, not just my corporatecareer.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
In that journey, do you remember the moment and if
you could describe it, when youknew you were going to.
That's it.
I'm cutting this tie off.
Speaker 2 (04:03):
Yeah, I think I kind of started dabbling slowly in it
slowly, and I knew that what Iwas doing was making a
difference in people's lives.
I had a week ago I posted apost on confidence and a woman
walked up to me and said I wouldhave never applied for that job
had I not read your post.
When I saw that post, it gaveme the courage I needed to apply
(04:26):
for the job.
By the way, she wasn'tqualified for the job and she
actually got it.
So I knew what I was doing washelping others and it was
something that was authentic andnot transactional.
It's something that I was justgiving, and giving to help other
people giving and giving tohelp other people.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
That's amazing.
Like you know, I love to hearthose stories.
And side note, just noteverybody who's qualified should
get the job and I hate to saythat, like, the person who could
probably perform in the jobbest is not always aligned to
who qualifies based on therequirements.
So I think that's whoever hiredthem good for them taking a
risk because they bet on theperson.
It sounds like more than thehistory and I love that.
I love to hear that You're inthis journey of cutting ties and
(05:11):
you're trying to get better.
You have the moments.
What was the impact to you?
Others, relationships frommaking the change?
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Yeah, I think a lot of you know life shows up right.
I think a lot of times we justare running on play all day,
every day, running the race ofour life, that we don't step
back and look at the things thatare happening.
I don't want to say to us butfor us, so for me, I had
different things that hadhappened.
(05:40):
So a moment that happened isafter I helped a major client of
ours recover from acybersecurity incident.
I was totally exhausted andproud of being able to help them
, but I remember talking to themabout my family and I realized
that those stories behind thosemoments are so important to
share your authentic self thatmaybe others didn't know.
(06:03):
And I wanted to create a spacethrough the Executive Connect
podcast where people could sharethat with all the listeners
that were part of it.
And so I just started hittingrecord, shared what I knew,
shared what they knew, andinvited other executives I knew
and that were friends of mine toshare about their wins and how
(06:24):
they achieved what they achieved.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
What's the biggest lesson you'd give the listeners?
Speaker 2 (06:31):
I think, to be a better listener and more an
intentional leader.
I think you know leadershipisn't just title, it's not by
title, it's not by managingemployees.
It's taking that step to do athing and it creates a ripple
effect, whether it's buildingnew partnerships or opening
doors for underrepresentedvoices or inspiring people to
(06:54):
make a change in their life.
I think how you show up to yourclients and to your life as not
just transactionally or avendor, but really as a trusted
advisor to not only just yourclients but your friends, your
spouse, your peers, and reallyhaving a mutually beneficial
(07:15):
relationship.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I love it.
The rapid fire section right.
I always like to hear these whogives you inspiration?
Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh, that's such a good question.
I think so many pieces.
I think it starts with myimmediate family, and my parents
have been such an inspiringpart of my life my children, my
husband and then my guests on mypodcast.
They're so knowledgeable, theyhave such great experience.
They've opened my eyes to somany things that I would have
(07:42):
not known about or beeninterested in learning about.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
I find, listen, I think what keeps driving me,
that drives my passion, are myguests.
Are my guests the kids and somethings I want to do in the
bigger world.
But I get so much inspirationhearing just what you know.
I don't feel alone, I guess.
When I do interviews I feellike I'm connected to a lot of
other entrepreneurs who areloosely connected through this
thing called entrepreneurship.
So I love that.
I totally identify with that.
(08:07):
What's kind of the bestbusiness advice you've ever
received?
Speaker 2 (08:10):
This is a new one.
I was just writing on thisbefore I jumped on this.
It's not worrying so much aboutwhat other people think of you
all the time.
I think we all want to be likedand accepted and supported that
oftentimes we spend so muchtime and energy trying to get
others to like us and support usand believe in us that we
(08:30):
forget the us and what ourmission is, and so really just
focus on who you areauthentically, and the right
people will show up.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
I think you're spot on with that, because this takes
away things likeprocrastination, and
perfectionism is usually rootedin a fear of someone else's
opinion, in less so of your owninterpretation of it.
So I agree with that.
That's a hard one to getthrough and care less or care
about your own mission and maybethe customers you serve.
(09:00):
There are some spouses and kidslike some of their opinions of
you do matter, and it issometimes a mere reflection that
you won't see, but they are theonly ones that will share.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
That's a really great point.
So just kind of pulling backthe layer of that.
Now, there's people that youdon't care, or do care whether
what they think about, but thepeople that you love and respect
, like your husband and yourchildren and your family their
opinions absolutely, absolutelymatter, and hearing what they
have to say and maybe theymisunderstood something you said
(09:31):
and so really sending the timeto pull back the layers on the
ones we love is super important.
The ones that are creatingdrama in our life are whiners,
moaners and complainers.
We might not care so much aboutwhat they think.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Agreed, and the people who actually don't have
influence in life shouldn'tinfluence you would be a good
way to say that.
I think, and I just made thatup.
So if it gets quoted anywhere,I want it.
I want that quote.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
What's the must-read book?
Speaker 2 (09:56):
I love the Jim Rohn Seasons of Life.
I think so many of us believethat we're always going to be on
the upswing in our life.
Things are going toprogressively always get better.
I think learning how to flowthrough the seasons or through
the changes in the presidents orthe weather or what's going on
in our world, just to learn howto navigate life and all the
(10:21):
things that are around us thatwe cannot control.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
Oh man, that's so true, and I had not read that
book, and it's one of many on mylist.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It's short.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Well, that actually will move it up the list if I
can listen to it quickly.
But there, uh, I'm on the, uh,I'm on the adult ADHD and how it
impacts marriage andrelationships.
Like, that's my.
My big tie to cut this year ishow to manage ADHD, because I
see it as such a superpower thathas such a big kryptonite on
the back end of it that limitsyou that you don't realize.
So, anyway, that's my, anyway.
That probably won't make thecut for you either.
(10:51):
All right, this has been fun sofar, so far.
Okay, there's more questionscoming.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
If you could go back to any part in your timeline in
life, when would you do that andwhat would you change?
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Oh, that's so good.
I think I would challengemyself more younger.
I always used to say when I getto be this age, I'll do this.
When I get to be that age, I'lldo that.
I started talking about writinga book in my.
I actually started writing thebook in my early twenties and
I'm like nobody's going to reada book from somebody in their
20s.
(11:25):
What do I know about the world?
And here I am in my 40s and I'mpicking up kind of what I
started 20 years ago writing andjust tweaking it a little bit.
But a lot of it is very muchthe same back then.
And so I would say, just showup and be you and you know, put
(11:46):
yourself out there and you'llnever know what star you'll grab
.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I love that.
If there was one question Ishould have asked you today, and
I didn't.
What would that question havebeen and how do you answer it?
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Maybe something along what's next?
I know a lot of my life hasbeen by chance or by opportunity
, or someone has come into mylife and sparked something
within me to write an article orpost something on LinkedIn.
I think what's next and one ofthe things I have been very
(12:20):
lucky to do is I've been able tospeak on many different stages
across many different industries, on imposter syndrome and being
fearless and cybersecurity.
I think showing up for me onstages that I want to be on more
and picking those differentstages and helping businesses
(12:42):
support their leaders internallyand give them the courage to do
the things they need to do.
I think I'm looking at my goalsand asking myself what's next
and, as an ambitious person, Ihave so many goals.
I need to temper them downwhat's on the front half and
what's on the back half?
So what's next is the book andthen more speaking speaking to
(13:06):
more people on bigger stages.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
I love that man.
You got some good stuff.
You're an inspiration.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
I try.
I think inspiration I thinkthat's the one I love, that you
said that I think that'ssomething that I show up and
wake up every morning and that'sexactly what I pray first thing
in the morning is to be aninspiration and a positive
influence on just one person'slife.
Today, I do that every time Istart my day I actually did it
(13:33):
before we started this podcasttoday is hoping that the work,
the good work we do here todaytouches and helps just one
person to take one action intheir life.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
I love that.
That's great.
Thank you.
Shameless plug time for you.
Who should get ahold of you andhow they do that.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Absolutely I'm best on LinkedIn.
I think we're all overwhelmedwith the mass amounts of emails
we get each and every day, soI'm best on LinkedIn.
Melissa Arskog, contact me ifyou need an ear or a friend, or
you're interested in being onthe Executive Connect podcast,
or maybe you want to talk toyour staff about being fearless
(14:12):
or mentorship, or I am happy tosend you my media kit and things
I've talked about that may behelpful and that could be found
on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
I love it.
I love all this.
This is probably my loveliestlove done.
I keep saying I love it becauseI do.
I even like it.
I all this.
This is probably my loveliestlove done.
I keep saying I love it becauseI do.
I even like it.
I really do.
This is really good.
Thank you, by the way, forcoming on today.
I appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
Yes, thank you for having me.
Now what I have to ask you.
I'm going to flip the scriptson you.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
You have to do that at some point during the show.
Right I show, right I have to.
I've got to flip the script now.
What is one piece of advice youwould give yourself, your
younger self?
Oh, where do I begin?
I would I right now, because mymind's on it.
I would have started tacklingthis adhd thing a lot sooner
(15:00):
because I see the power of it.
Like I mean, like the abilityto process information and ideas
, but it's running a marathon 25miles of it.
Like I mean, like the abilityto process information and ideas
, but it's running a marathon 25miles of it, and you can't
finish the marathon ever, andthat's last miles is crushing
when you see how many marathonsyou could have ran if you could
just finish the last fuckingmile and somebody that also
identifies in that capacity.
Speaker 2 (15:23):
One thing I've learned for myself is to get
systems in place and outsourcethe things you are not good at
or hate doing, because when itjust, it becomes a nonstop
procrastination, last minutethings, and so when you can
outsource it, you can create somany more amazing things
(15:46):
outsource it, you can create somany more amazing things.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
I can't agree any more than that.
It is, you know.
Let me say goodbye.
We'll come back to that.
I got a minute here, okay, yeah, thank you.
Thank you, melissa, so much forcoming on today.
I really appreciate you takingthe time to just join me on the
show.
Speaker 2 (16:02):
Thank you for allowing me to be here.
It's been a pleasure to talk toyour audience and get to know
you a little more.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
Love it.
See, I love it again.
Hey, listen, everyone, listento the show.
At this point you rock.
This is your first time here.
I hope it's the first of manyand get out there.
Go cut a tie to somethingholding you back.
Go unleash the best version ofyourself, the entrepreneur
within you.
And I have one call to actionJust follow the show on Apple
Spotify.
Maybe, if you're a YouTuber,hit, subscribe.
That'd be great too.
(16:28):
And if you're really cheeky, dofive-star review.
And if it isn't a five-starreview, find me on LinkedIn and
tell me why not, and I'll I'lltake your considerations into
into into perspective.
Thanks for listening.
Have a great day.
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