January 24, 2025 • 14 mins
🎙️ Welcome to Episode 2 of Dad Mode Activated: Fatherhood Unfiltered!
In today’s episode, we’re diving into The Dad Toolbox, the skills and hacks that every dad picks up along the way. From fixing broken toys to surviving family road trips, fatherhood is all about mastering improvisation, problem-solving, and embracing the chaos.
Here’s what we cover in this episode: ✅ The Evolution of the Dad Toolbox: How trial and error (and a smashed finger or two) builds your unique set of dad skills. ✅ Essential Skills for Every Dad:
- The Fixer Mentality
- The Art of Distraction
- Patience in the Chaos
- Being a Human Jungle Gym
- Problem-Solving Under Pressure ✅ Dad Hacks to Make Life Easier:
- The Dad Bag (your ultimate survival kit)
- The Timer Trick for managing disputes
- Turning errands into adventures with the Treasure Hunt Game
- A bedtime routine that works (most of the time)
The Dad Toolbox isn’t about perfection—it’s about being present, trying your best, and showing up for your kids every day. Those little efforts create a legacy of love and laughter that your kids will carry with them forever.
🎧 Listen now for practical tips, plenty of laughs, and relatable stories from the frontlines of dad life.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome back to Dad Mode Activated, Fatherhood Unfiltered. I'm Matt, Dad of Five, husband,
(00:18):
and your go-to guy for navigating the beautiful chaos of fatherhood. If this is your first
time listening, welcome. You're in for a mix of laughs, real talk, and hopefully some useful
takeaways about this crazy journey we call parenting. Last week, I shared my story, how
(00:38):
I became a dad, blended a family of five, learned some tough lessons along the way,
and today we're diving into the Dad Toolbox. These are skills, hacks, habits, things you
pick up along the way as a dad, even when you feel like you're making it up as you go.
Being a dad isn't about having all the answers, it's about being resourceful. Present may be a
(01:03):
little creative with duct tape. So grab your coffee, settle in, and let's activate Dad Mode.
Let's start by talking about where this Dad Toolbox comes from. It doesn't arrive the first day
your child was born. There's no gift basket labeled essential dad tools. That'd be nice.
Instead, it's something you'd build over time through experience, mistakes, and the occasional,
(01:29):
why did I think this would work or what the heck happened here? I'll never forget the first time
I had to assemble a crib. I was basically staring at what felt like a million pieces,
wondering why I didn't just hire somebody to do this. It took me a little over three hours,
if I recall. Minor argument with the instructions, because we don't always agree,
(01:55):
and one smashed finger, but I got it done, especially that little part that holds the mattress,
that wire mesh thing. Oh my goodness. Looking back, that was one of my first Dad Toolbox moments.
It wasn't about perfection. It was really just about figuring it out and getting it done, even
when it wasn't pretty. As you, well, as a dad, you're really constantly learning on the job.
(02:22):
Some skills like changing a diaper, you pick up pretty quickly. Others like how to get your
toddler to stay in bed, which is still a struggle today, honestly. But it takes a bit longer,
and sometimes it involves some kind of creative, innovative negotiation. But really, here's the
thing. Every challenge you face as a dad adds something to your toolbox. Whether it's patience,
(02:47):
problem solving, or the ability to function on three hours of sleep, which is a pretty common
occurrence, you're growing and evolving with every new experience. And the best part, you don't have
to do it alone. That's what this podcast and this community is here for. All right, so let's break
it down. What are the must have skills for every dad's toolbox? So I've got a few of them and then
(03:13):
one bonus one that's not in my notes, but I'm pretty sure you guys will really. Skill number one,
the fixer mentality. So as a dad, you're automatically designated the fixer in the family. So broken
toys, squeaky doors, wobbly chairs, really anything you can name, you're expected to fix it. Dishwasher
(03:35):
had to do that more than once. I've explained, or I've learned that being a fixer isn't just about
having the right tools. It's about having the mindset that says, I may not know how to fix this
yet, but I will figure it out. I remember one time, it was a long time ago, holy cow, my oldest son
(03:55):
had handed me a remote control car. He had somehow managed to remove the wheel. And then he looked
at me dead serious, completely confident. And he's like, yeah, you can fix anything, right? Yeah,
so no pressure at all. After some trial and error, and a lot of Googling, because back then I had no
(04:16):
idea what I was doing. I did get the tire put back on the car and it was running again. But what
really made it worthwhile was the look on a space when it worked for the short time that it worked.
I had to fix it more than once. But that's beside the point. It really was worth every second.
Skill number two, the art of distraction. This one's actually pretty critical. So when meltdowns
(04:39):
happen, and they will, the ability to redirect your child's attention is invaluable, whether it's
turning a tantrum into a game, making a facility story, something to diffuse the situation or
the tension, really distraction as a tool every dad needs. Skill number three, patience in the chaos.
(05:03):
Patience is probably one of the most underrated dad skills. It's not just about staying calm
during a tantrum. It's about knowing when to pick your battles. Sometimes you let them wear
mishmat mismatched socks to school. Who cares? I mean, other times you stand your ground about
eating vegetables, the more important things, nutritional things, life lesson type of things.
(05:26):
The trick is really figuring out what matters and just letting the rest go, the little stuff.
Skill number four, the human jungle gym. Let's be honest, so kids don't see us as
people from a dad perspective. They see us as climbing structures, piggyback rides. Let me get
(05:47):
up on your shoulders. Let's wrestle all of the things that come with that while it can be exhausting.
It's also one of the ways that they connect with us, really. So my advice here for this skill in
particular is just embrace it. Admittedly, these moments won't last forever. My oldest son, we don't
(06:08):
wrestle anymore. He's 18. He would probably win. No, I don't think he would. He wouldn't. Skill number
five, problem-solving under pressure. So again, pretty critical. Whether you're trying to improvise
a meal, you're out of groceries, finding a way to entertain the kids on rainy days, you just have to
(06:32):
be that problem solver. And that's one of the scenarios where it's really applicable
to be a problem solver. So the best part is every problem you solve gives you more confidence for
the next one. So they aren't just practical skills. They're ways of showing your kids
that you're there for them, even in the small things. And trust me, to them the small things do
(06:56):
matter. They will remember stuff from 10 years ago and they'll just blindside you with it. So I'm
good, some bad. Mostly good. So now that we've kind of covered those essential skills, there's one
bonus skill, like I said, that really all dads have, you know, and that's the dad voice. And
(07:21):
I'm sure a lot of you know what that means. It's that little bit of extra base that you can throw
in there where the kids know that you're serious. All right, guys, I'm not playing. Go clean your
room. It kind of works. Do you feel like cleaning your room? Maybe I've had a lot more success
with that than, you know, playing the the nice, you know, please, please go clean your room.
(07:44):
It just doesn't have the same effect. But now we can talk about some practical kind of hacks
to make your life a little easier. The dad bag. So this is really important early on when my kids
were much younger. Snacks, band aids, wet wipes, hand sanitizer. Super important. Even a small
(08:10):
flashlight, I think I had in there. I had duct tape on that thing too, just because. And I'm sure
I've used it more than once. I'm just having a hard time recalling. But it's definitely saved me
more times than I can count. And it sounds silly. I mean, really, the bag can be anything. I think
mine was a Kroger grocery bag. And I just kept it in my truck. That's just what I did on a regular
(08:33):
basis. The timer trick is hack number two. If you've got kids fighting over toys or screen time,
seriously, a timer can be your best friend. You set the timer. When it goes off, it's the next
kid's turn. It really does keep things fair. And it's predictable for the kids. And it teaches them
about sharing and taking turns, you know, moving on to the next activity, those types of things.
(08:57):
Hack number three, I'd have to say is like the treasure hunt game. It's great for keeping the
kids entertained. When you're out and about, for example, you go to the grocery store, what have
you, the mall, you can turn those ordinary adventures into kind of a treasure hunt. So
something simple like find something blue in the store or, you know, find, find the guy
(09:24):
that's bald. You know, I'm sure there's plenty of those around. I don't know. But, you know,
things like that do happen. Hack number or hack number four, the bedtime wind down.
Super complicated. I don't care who you are. You can kids can be super easy. I want to go to bed,
what have you, but at some point this will rear its head. But getting kids to settle down at night,
(09:50):
it really can feel impossible. One thing that really works is a consistent bedtime routine.
We don't necessarily go through and dim the lights, read a bedtime story or,
you know, play that calm music, you know, Alexa play thunderstorm sounds, make my kid go to sleep.
But it's, it doesn't have the same effect. But being consistent on when you go to bed
(10:11):
and what that routine looks like, you know, whether you're a
melatonin family or whatever your routine looks like, try to keep it about the same time.
And you'll have a lot more success with transitioning them to going to bed and staying in bed.
Hack number five is the emergency backup plan. So no matter what you do, everything has a plan B.
(10:35):
Just in case anything goes sideways. It could be a backup dinner idea, you know,
DoorDash, things like that. Depending on your circumstances, it could be,
we're going to eat ramen noodles. You're going to reheat the oven pizza that I cooked yesterday
and you didn't eat all of. It can be a number of things, but always making sure you have a fall
(10:57):
back plan will definitely make your job a lot easier. It'll preserve some of your sanity as well.
And really something to keep in mind. Hacks aren't something that are meant to be perfect.
It's really about being prepared for the unexpected and making the most of the
moments you have with your kids so that you can kind of focus on the important stuff.
(11:18):
At the end of the day, the dad toolbox is not just about skills and hacks. It's about what
tools represent things like love, commitment, showing up for your kids no matter what. Your
kids don't need a perfect dad. In fact, there probably isn't one. They just need you to be present.
Someone who's willing really to get on the floor and play, fix broken toys, fix broken stuff in
(11:44):
general, laugh at the jokes. Oh, there's so many. And no matter how terrible they are, they're hilarious
every time. Add to it. It's actually a lot of fun. And the tools you build as a dad of
is really your way of saying, I'm here for you. They're the little things to show your kids that
(12:06):
they're loved, they're supported, you're flexible, they're safe, they can operate, you know, how they
feel comfortable. And you can really get to know their true selves once you kind of open it up a
little bit with some of these tips. But whether you're nailing it, figuring out how to go,
(12:27):
you really just have to remember that every effort you make does matter. Every time you show up,
you're building a legacy of love, laughter. You know, your kids will remember those things and
they'll carry it with them forever really. And that's it. That's it for today's episode of Dad
Mode Activated. I really hope you found some funny pieces, some inspiration, maybe even a new trick
(12:51):
or two for your dad toolbox. But before I go, I do want to hear from you, you know, what kind of
things are in your dad toolbox? Do you have a favorite hack or skill? Something that saved
the day more times than you can count? Share it with me on social media, on Facebook, Twitter,
well, X, whatever it's called now. I even have a group on LinkedIn, YouTube. It's all Dad Mode
(13:16):
Activated. So you can pretty much find me anywhere. And truth be told, if I can get a few of you to
give me some of those ideas, I have no problem calling you out on the show, sharing it with the
group, just to make sure everyone understands that we are kind of in this together. Next week,
I do plan to talk about the balancing act. So work, life, dad life, we'll dive into how to
(13:43):
manage your time, prioritize what matters and still find space for what you love, even though
it can feel pretty overwhelming at times. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review,
and share this podcast with a fellow dad, really anyone who could use a good laugh.
Thanks for listening and until next time, keep showing up, keep laughing, and keep activating
(14:04):
Dad Mode. You've got this.
Welcome back to Dad Mode Activated, Fatherhood Unfiltered. I'm Matt, Dad of Five, husband,
(00:18):
and your go-to guy for navigating the beautiful chaos of fatherhood. If this is your first
time listening, welcome. You're in for a mix of laughs, real talk, and hopefully some useful
takeaways about this crazy journey we call parenting. Last week, I shared my story, how
(00:38):
I became a dad, blended a family of five, learned some tough lessons along the way,
and today we're diving into the Dad Toolbox. These are skills, hacks, habits, things you
pick up along the way as a dad, even when you feel like you're making it up as you go.
Being a dad isn't about having all the answers, it's about being resourceful. Present may be a
(01:03):
little creative with duct tape. So grab your coffee, settle in, and let's activate Dad Mode.
Let's start by talking about where this Dad Toolbox comes from. It doesn't arrive the first day
your child was born. There's no gift basket labeled essential dad tools. That'd be nice.
Instead, it's something you'd build over time through experience, mistakes, and the occasional,
(01:29):
why did I think this would work or what the heck happened here? I'll never forget the first time
I had to assemble a crib. I was basically staring at what felt like a million pieces,
wondering why I didn't just hire somebody to do this. It took me a little over three hours,
if I recall. Minor argument with the instructions, because we don't always agree,
(01:55):
and one smashed finger, but I got it done, especially that little part that holds the mattress,
that wire mesh thing. Oh my goodness. Looking back, that was one of my first Dad Toolbox moments.
It wasn't about perfection. It was really just about figuring it out and getting it done, even
when it wasn't pretty. As you, well, as a dad, you're really constantly learning on the job.
(02:22):
Some skills like changing a diaper, you pick up pretty quickly. Others like how to get your
toddler to stay in bed, which is still a struggle today, honestly. But it takes a bit longer,
and sometimes it involves some kind of creative, innovative negotiation. But really, here's the
thing. Every challenge you face as a dad adds something to your toolbox. Whether it's patience,
(02:47):
problem solving, or the ability to function on three hours of sleep, which is a pretty common
occurrence, you're growing and evolving with every new experience. And the best part, you don't have
to do it alone. That's what this podcast and this community is here for. All right, so let's break
it down. What are the must have skills for every dad's toolbox? So I've got a few of them and then
(03:13):
one bonus one that's not in my notes, but I'm pretty sure you guys will really. Skill number one,
the fixer mentality. So as a dad, you're automatically designated the fixer in the family. So broken
toys, squeaky doors, wobbly chairs, really anything you can name, you're expected to fix it. Dishwasher
(03:35):
had to do that more than once. I've explained, or I've learned that being a fixer isn't just about
having the right tools. It's about having the mindset that says, I may not know how to fix this
yet, but I will figure it out. I remember one time, it was a long time ago, holy cow, my oldest son
(03:55):
had handed me a remote control car. He had somehow managed to remove the wheel. And then he looked
at me dead serious, completely confident. And he's like, yeah, you can fix anything, right? Yeah,
so no pressure at all. After some trial and error, and a lot of Googling, because back then I had no
(04:16):
idea what I was doing. I did get the tire put back on the car and it was running again. But what
really made it worthwhile was the look on a space when it worked for the short time that it worked.
I had to fix it more than once. But that's beside the point. It really was worth every second.
Skill number two, the art of distraction. This one's actually pretty critical. So when meltdowns
(04:39):
happen, and they will, the ability to redirect your child's attention is invaluable, whether it's
turning a tantrum into a game, making a facility story, something to diffuse the situation or
the tension, really distraction as a tool every dad needs. Skill number three, patience in the chaos.
(05:03):
Patience is probably one of the most underrated dad skills. It's not just about staying calm
during a tantrum. It's about knowing when to pick your battles. Sometimes you let them wear
mishmat mismatched socks to school. Who cares? I mean, other times you stand your ground about
eating vegetables, the more important things, nutritional things, life lesson type of things.
(05:26):
The trick is really figuring out what matters and just letting the rest go, the little stuff.
Skill number four, the human jungle gym. Let's be honest, so kids don't see us as
people from a dad perspective. They see us as climbing structures, piggyback rides. Let me get
(05:47):
up on your shoulders. Let's wrestle all of the things that come with that while it can be exhausting.
It's also one of the ways that they connect with us, really. So my advice here for this skill in
particular is just embrace it. Admittedly, these moments won't last forever. My oldest son, we don't
(06:08):
wrestle anymore. He's 18. He would probably win. No, I don't think he would. He wouldn't. Skill number
five, problem-solving under pressure. So again, pretty critical. Whether you're trying to improvise
a meal, you're out of groceries, finding a way to entertain the kids on rainy days, you just have to
(06:32):
be that problem solver. And that's one of the scenarios where it's really applicable
to be a problem solver. So the best part is every problem you solve gives you more confidence for
the next one. So they aren't just practical skills. They're ways of showing your kids
that you're there for them, even in the small things. And trust me, to them the small things do
(06:56):
matter. They will remember stuff from 10 years ago and they'll just blindside you with it. So I'm
good, some bad. Mostly good. So now that we've kind of covered those essential skills, there's one
bonus skill, like I said, that really all dads have, you know, and that's the dad voice. And
(07:21):
I'm sure a lot of you know what that means. It's that little bit of extra base that you can throw
in there where the kids know that you're serious. All right, guys, I'm not playing. Go clean your
room. It kind of works. Do you feel like cleaning your room? Maybe I've had a lot more success
with that than, you know, playing the the nice, you know, please, please go clean your room.
(07:44):
It just doesn't have the same effect. But now we can talk about some practical kind of hacks
to make your life a little easier. The dad bag. So this is really important early on when my kids
were much younger. Snacks, band aids, wet wipes, hand sanitizer. Super important. Even a small
(08:10):
flashlight, I think I had in there. I had duct tape on that thing too, just because. And I'm sure
I've used it more than once. I'm just having a hard time recalling. But it's definitely saved me
more times than I can count. And it sounds silly. I mean, really, the bag can be anything. I think
mine was a Kroger grocery bag. And I just kept it in my truck. That's just what I did on a regular
(08:33):
basis. The timer trick is hack number two. If you've got kids fighting over toys or screen time,
seriously, a timer can be your best friend. You set the timer. When it goes off, it's the next
kid's turn. It really does keep things fair. And it's predictable for the kids. And it teaches them
about sharing and taking turns, you know, moving on to the next activity, those types of things.
(08:57):
Hack number three, I'd have to say is like the treasure hunt game. It's great for keeping the
kids entertained. When you're out and about, for example, you go to the grocery store, what have
you, the mall, you can turn those ordinary adventures into kind of a treasure hunt. So
something simple like find something blue in the store or, you know, find, find the guy
(09:24):
that's bald. You know, I'm sure there's plenty of those around. I don't know. But, you know,
things like that do happen. Hack number or hack number four, the bedtime wind down.
Super complicated. I don't care who you are. You can kids can be super easy. I want to go to bed,
what have you, but at some point this will rear its head. But getting kids to settle down at night,
(09:50):
it really can feel impossible. One thing that really works is a consistent bedtime routine.
We don't necessarily go through and dim the lights, read a bedtime story or,
you know, play that calm music, you know, Alexa play thunderstorm sounds, make my kid go to sleep.
But it's, it doesn't have the same effect. But being consistent on when you go to bed
(10:11):
and what that routine looks like, you know, whether you're a
melatonin family or whatever your routine looks like, try to keep it about the same time.
And you'll have a lot more success with transitioning them to going to bed and staying in bed.
Hack number five is the emergency backup plan. So no matter what you do, everything has a plan B.
(10:35):
Just in case anything goes sideways. It could be a backup dinner idea, you know,
DoorDash, things like that. Depending on your circumstances, it could be,
we're going to eat ramen noodles. You're going to reheat the oven pizza that I cooked yesterday
and you didn't eat all of. It can be a number of things, but always making sure you have a fall
(10:57):
back plan will definitely make your job a lot easier. It'll preserve some of your sanity as well.
And really something to keep in mind. Hacks aren't something that are meant to be perfect.
It's really about being prepared for the unexpected and making the most of the
moments you have with your kids so that you can kind of focus on the important stuff.
(11:18):
At the end of the day, the dad toolbox is not just about skills and hacks. It's about what
tools represent things like love, commitment, showing up for your kids no matter what. Your
kids don't need a perfect dad. In fact, there probably isn't one. They just need you to be present.
Someone who's willing really to get on the floor and play, fix broken toys, fix broken stuff in
(11:44):
general, laugh at the jokes. Oh, there's so many. And no matter how terrible they are, they're hilarious
every time. Add to it. It's actually a lot of fun. And the tools you build as a dad of
is really your way of saying, I'm here for you. They're the little things to show your kids that
(12:06):
they're loved, they're supported, you're flexible, they're safe, they can operate, you know, how they
feel comfortable. And you can really get to know their true selves once you kind of open it up a
little bit with some of these tips. But whether you're nailing it, figuring out how to go,
(12:27):
you really just have to remember that every effort you make does matter. Every time you show up,
you're building a legacy of love, laughter. You know, your kids will remember those things and
they'll carry it with them forever really. And that's it. That's it for today's episode of Dad
Mode Activated. I really hope you found some funny pieces, some inspiration, maybe even a new trick
(12:51):
or two for your dad toolbox. But before I go, I do want to hear from you, you know, what kind of
things are in your dad toolbox? Do you have a favorite hack or skill? Something that saved
the day more times than you can count? Share it with me on social media, on Facebook, Twitter,
well, X, whatever it's called now. I even have a group on LinkedIn, YouTube. It's all Dad Mode
(13:16):
Activated. So you can pretty much find me anywhere. And truth be told, if I can get a few of you to
give me some of those ideas, I have no problem calling you out on the show, sharing it with the
group, just to make sure everyone understands that we are kind of in this together. Next week,
I do plan to talk about the balancing act. So work, life, dad life, we'll dive into how to
(13:43):
manage your time, prioritize what matters and still find space for what you love, even though
it can feel pretty overwhelming at times. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review,
and share this podcast with a fellow dad, really anyone who could use a good laugh.
Thanks for listening and until next time, keep showing up, keep laughing, and keep activating
(14:04):
Dad Mode. You've got this.
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